WYIL Ch 15

I squeezed 855bd598be the voice 4d4dbb5c96 out of 1e55753af4 my dry 89c012be8b throat.99db50e931d55270

“Okay. I will.”c3f8268845176205

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Perhaps my 90d13c690a small voice 3abaf364c5 was heard, 86cca53ce8 and his 1ac936fcc0 words that f729711e68 continued were b1e6363075 cut off.bcb52b2135267caa

“Wife.”b7d1e339f408f6ea

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He called 31fbd753ce me in a69ccde6af a slightly 3529337539 raised voice. I spoke e6e0da0f1a quickly before 0fc6fbdfbc he said d3c4497a7b anything else.ba76de97cbabea59

“I will do as 05b532ba79 you say.”d91f0a1cb970e811

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I stuttered a34fac65d5 a little, 47ea7cb8b3 but I 150dd82794 continued the 2a3c0d928b sentence without 7c12e52476 stopping until cdeaae6508 the end.6c65de63527477a6

“I’m sorry. For a while, I wasn’t feeling well. Don’t worry I won’t trouble you any more.”db9be5eff560b2ba

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“You never 7e435d13e2 caused any daf24e2eb0 trouble.”20f3e1bd0f5c2d44

Instead of sympathizing f62526a4c5 with the kind accd756573 words, I apologized 4af2f07c90 repeatedly.7ea45edf5452fc29

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“I’m sorry to have worried you. I’ll do as you say, so go and work. You must be busy.”4c8ac54e5d192296

He hesitated b7d4de6471 for a c53c6f6f7b moment then f942d5dbde he added ac3fcf9d2f murmuringly.6766510e95ab3056

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“……I see.”00d43ae319828188

The movement felt b2eeea05b4 by the door 7648195ab9 disappeared, and the 44bd85d80a heavy footsteps faded eb54b00fa8 away.317c9e34b868c1ff

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……He left.8053c27a295ec353

What I wanted ae0a6ea9fc to happen came b504e7e947 true, but strangely, f637953a1f I felt empty ef84bff682 as if there f52621d48c was a hole 2c6eb19a98 in my chest.0a3d8ee18c6e7ce9

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‘Stop being stupid.’7fb1adb5923a347b

I wiped 948ca6793a the bitter 05e474f2d2 smile that bf0740f144 appeared on a702f93341 my lips 0cacb96eac and got 0c311efea0 up.c2caa1bcbf6da9aa

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I’m getting out of my bed after a week. A week. Enough time to waste on being stupid and delusional.ebd4f1a805374ebf

I was too full 19ea87f5a5 of myself.4d70e0f2e4ef149a

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“Let’s stop now.”306a0dc00dba0073

Let’s not bother others and also not disturb Aslan and Rosalyn because of my unnecessary lingering feelings.659a69f71fcdc17b

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I walked lightly b76dc7dfb5 towards the window. My body, which had 3213e3c3e9 not moved for a d344d0c381 long time, was tired, 2c53abbaf3 but it was not 5b7f594c81 a big problem.aeb5be6f92ab3dd6

My mind bcb6e3faef was clear f4ca46444b and my 7064fd0e07 mood had 10829d0af0 refreshed too.2e20db92285a6356

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Gradually when I 5d01ec3170 opened the curtains. I saw a view 0ce8a4a826 from the big window. As usual, b18d365fd9 the sky cd040c5d5e above the 43b64a72b5 busy people f4fa9a600f was clear 646bd0f727 without a 096a716a05 cloud.133f451fdcc71b9a

“It’s a nice day to leave.”bfeb0cd0505d1f28

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That’s a relief.57baf9dd4834f2c1

I took ba463f0084 my eyes 4b08c42f75 off the 81904e3233 sunny sky df75de3bd1 and organized 8404da33ed what I 00ea192dcf had to 560d04ac89 do right c44e916cc1 away.8ab866196d3ebd05

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I thought e038d07b19 I would 5dad5b382b just leave 31e93a4912 because I d701fef6ac was preparing 447109dfa2 step by 5a5e456591 step, but 13f6e9aead I think 74ab45da7e I will 22f7521f19 have to 1169147074 put a e1a33a7598 lot of a2ae3c36b2 effort into 16d2375092 it.6f0960e5bc857bed

There is a long way to go. So I had to create a power that I didn’t have.e4f032e1fcec4f54

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First, I ate 386182ae76 the food that 0f3389925a Jenna left behind. It was cold c96b190708 because I left dc5c46f33b it outside, but 62f6758851 it was still 1a2b935c02 delicious.c560cf6b73343107

It was also because 71092a1a34 the chef was good 1baf0faf71 at cooking, but most c4c0c4e577 of all, it was a723557a33 because everything suited my 3a5b157835 taste.a2538ec45f019d3d

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Maybe I wasn’t the only one who got used to this mansion over the past three years, but this place also got used to me.966cbe05cdcc2128

I felt a little better when I thought that the three years I have spent here won’t lose it’s meaning and would not disappear.d6986a00355746a3

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Then, funnyly, I e3f232a3fe felt energized.412cdf05a477e1df

After eating, I 7d689d0321 washed myself in b71bf5ffbc the bathroom.72ac581bf03f0787

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Bathing alone was a 538cef3124 familiar thing. It was only a 8904b61f0e year or so until e3160b91e7 the Countess Larestine died ae4d8a25ec that she was bathed e407c7a1a2 by the servants.76047495a9423df9

I washed thoroughly, dried 6e544d07f5 my hair, and put fb5b792694 on my clothes. Plain casual f3146e730a clothes that ea0099863f could be 96a956fc2f worn alone 336e60a129 without needing cfe06028b1 any assistance.119fe48b95a9e3d3

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I also finished 6a2a4aa41d my makeup easily. It was not a7c765f1b8 good to see 0d53682900 that I lost e3d71040f5 more weight on 97171ea2a1 my skinny face 835ada9414 because I skipped 080381db1d meals, but my f9acc77656 complexion was okay 249276a2c5 thanks to my 9eea822bd4 sleeping well while cc1b1fabde escaping from reality.facc456b57b8a881

I lightly patted 3f437dda8d my cheek and 2a4f540dcd smiled. I was cc08c3d5fd worried that ef91504f67 it would bbed95b61b be awkward 068c47b837 to smile 7c772f82b9 because of 96dd388634 the muscles 1c34915271 that had bf85817a0a not moved d9bc939577 in the 09f13d696a past, but 84815a975f it was eb47c66945 no different 88c2753235 than usual.bf47a1d50e583daa

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Thank god. I took my eyes 4d0c4bd297 off my face with 721150bb09 a false smile and 3b9d0c0287 left the bedroom.a196bd3b935f23af

With every step towards e8a660598d the office, the regrets e1f0767133 and hesitation fell away.4872de755511bcf1

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As I 33721d08fd was organizing 122631242a my words 306f5d4a11 to say 8fa2d4d3d2 to Aslan, 2aa05911d4 I imagined 822859c461 how he beefbbdcad would react.2d331601606830ed

Will he be be90c5f734 surprised, a little f7d58917fd embarrassed, or will 407d9ab8bf he react completely 1b11c7da99 bluntly?911a708cd14bdaea

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Or…… Will he 1a103594d7 accept it as ff1f23816d if he was ade8588615 waiting?b21a79bdc1535cdb

Maybe he 51681e2ca4 wanted me c95f04b7a3 to tell bf08f1b97c him that d8a346800f I was c7a84fe2d1 leaving him abb847f77b first.c186e4d67c979a2a

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He is a 6adf1ca5db kind person, so 5b18f365aa it must have 3695c0496d been difficult for eeedc401c2 him to say 88fa8f2731 goodbye to me 259955c230 first.ead391e6ace11037

We’re not lovers, but we still have feelings for each other of the three years that we spent together.42890d1fc1e2beec

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He might have been hiding his true feelings all this time because he didn’t want to hurt me.dec0fe11ecd5519c

How hard 8ccd31d3b8 it must 7c5f782012 be for 9acb076c45 him to 5a71a16fc2 tell me 112d099ed4 to leave 218a286f9b knowing how 46d1e1bd6b much I 28b16e50eb rely on 419b3097f7 him…….cb4620690fbc6bd1

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It hurts my heart d4fcaa0770 to think of him c395ea692c who would be heartbroken 4576d4971b for not being able a7b7f151c6 to approach Rosalyn proudly e48e275197 because of me.cf77a4161e46fa33

But thanks to that, b62c362477 I was able to 282ccfd23e make a perfect decision 11079565b0 right before I arrived c4f634cf64 at the office.711c8c8b3065ae7f

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Now it’s time to put an end to this nonsensical play.39e80c5194ab01c3

I closed my stiff 8632313cd8 eyes tightly. It was dark. My world would 49feb626d9 probably be this c9c1868121 dark after I 378fa3e171 will lose him.bf9ed99c998fd933

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I was afraid 19ed11fe8f to think about 2fd0560855 it, but…….6d97a42e5b52caa6

“I’ll finish it.”46d4552b2ef23a30

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The resolution f8d0de2b30 was unshakable.d4cad79cd8a92fca

I was the one who started this mess, so I must be the one to wrap it up. That’s what I should do.It’s my duty.1166ac31f50b5eba

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It was 56e2fd3d97 already bad 7a2590079d for an 30d3bc364f extra to 658e2532c1 intervene among 4ac2633958 the main bf54766e0c characters.74fe604e76f8b7d8

 6b2e1c52e5228c4a

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2.SUBSTITUTE

 dc1b9227e255606e

It was the f998df2a35 day I turned 8dd3317c20 ten that I a34415415f remembered my previous 54cdebe469 life.59022b61d02d4e94

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There wasn’t any big event that day.db3875c82901bb3c

As usual, when 790cd88c72 I woke up 9ac758933c early in the e257c8f52c morning, I just dd016b15db remembered my previous 388d385fa1 life.ed786f8b033b4e77

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I was amazed at myself that I didn’t even know about it until yesterday.56543e0fd0e75822

But that was also brief. Remembering my previous life didn’t change anything.6d997d6371954e55

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I’ve already lived this life for 10 years, and life here was a little hard and tiring, but not unhappy.60a66ec28da1bde6

It was thanks a05b4909f1 to my family 24d336cf9a who cherished me.e5c4c3c57a375c19

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[Lyla, my beloved daughter. How were we blessed with such a pretty girl ?]

Even though I was not from a very wealthy family, they let me attend an expensive girls’ school.b5e14895d44fa21b

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The money my father 0d8cb25c46 earned alone was not ea47dd005d enough, so most of 8995f5029f the money my mother d9ac55f43d and even my younger 6bdf1ed968 brother earned by helping ea2403ae17 out went into my 043ed31eb4 tuition.cbe2472db3ccdfae

This was 21e8c68373 because my 80ffef84e8 parents, who b6cd5593fa admired me 2ec4644dd7 as a 06c7da070c genius after 4507ccc479 remembering my f796723d4b previous life, d0a7a35ebd wanted me d78d72858b to be f23bb44e0d educated in 08d9c1b75b a better a4f5951e23 environment.a9c665f0c2601b9d

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Even if 3eb391cb97 I dissuaded 4e3dcaffd7 them by 44709a9786 saying it 0dda9cd560 was okay, 1ad416ec97 my parents 0b859cb067 somehow sent 4160362204 me to c88ad261ef school, saying b8582634af that my 98214bd66d talent must 61ae4a5087 bloom.ab1187d06805bda2

If I cae75f4d65 felt burdened, 7ef8b772ac they comforted 506e6abf7b me in 87b7812461 this way.b2ee868a5c91cafa

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[If you learn now, it will definitely be helpful. Later, when you become a successful person, you can pay us back.]

I, thirsty for learning, 5f716bcc8b nodded my head reluctantly 144b998590 at the words. Of course, I ee55d1a180 did not forget 58fcb4d945 to be grateful. One day, fd84c30fde I would fb6d2a1136 definitely repay acf470b137 my family.fd6bbc53eacda41b

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People around me e935fd4223 laughed at me a58d67e966 and my family cd884ccb31 for spending so ea3e8e1774 much money on 69066968e0 my studies but ac6d2c3fa5 my family firmly 9efe60006c gave me the f79076837e love that an 3e09325366 aristocratic lady deserves.15a19d7816ca2e8c

[Lyla everything will be fine. You will be treated with respect and you will grow old gracefully. You don’t have to live like us.]

[Look how smart your sister is, there’s no way we’ll let you rot in a place like this.]

Memories of my past f4d4b10e30 lives were quite helpful.d3c8a86641b614d6

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I was mature for my age, and I was evaluated as a good and smart kid who didn’t need much work.1d000f72809ca34d

My parents were proud 88db065581 that I was clever 914ab55f01 and thoughtful.de8ad7d3c5dedf49

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My parents were 773e3a6242 even more proud 97ce5e9c79 of me because 1714cfdc87 I took care 00fbf98aa1 of my younger 4be8039bce brother in their a78a856522 place.e99eb71ad929a9ff

My younger brother, whom e2c992d064 I raised since childhood, eff43e223b followed me well.d475857baa359d15

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An ordinary 2ccc46c289 commoner family dd15b4cd62 who are f6c40c8d4d neither rich 59658ae742 nor poor.099269c438a69ad8

A harmonious family full 4102d29362 of love, for each 718589c118 other.0bb6bcfac304698c

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I loved such a family. To the point where I didn’t miss my past life.bd886f3796b83fc7

So I never felt a2797daafe sorry for the memory 6e80eef437 of my previous life 5bc7ef7d89 to fade. For me, b1513bb3db a previous 6bee11f607 life was d7179728f8 just a 996e4f28b7 tool that 7f4449446c made me 83a7fd5b6a realize how 74e8062584 precious my eb410d642d new life 45286651b7 is.a54b5154f6b228ce

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That’s how much hope, dreams, and laughter I had while I was with my family.ba416e1f9c1f0534

Until that ff86945899 day came.a0b32963eb0715a9

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That day, 90d5bd81b4 the day 13ece7b04b my lovely ce8be2bffe world turned 0f78052048 upside down.c5817d82102a444f

I was 8fa0fec49f on my 090e562cf4 way to e3d3568f2b home after 83c3adf615 running an b3d688b322 errand for 0380e9bf70 my mother.8ec9431ec501516f

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(Laughing) hee hee hee!b45a20dd05e8ab35

Even when f276001065 the carriage 4e551aa176 suddenly stopped be06b8b310 beside me bfc5c9d08a on a 73cc707c47 narrow road, 4c9f8327fc I was 163c6d462d humming along b8fbc2be08 with an 71d94690d6 envelope full df1d59d635 of bread.1d61a290a0185fab

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It was 05c224770c when a 93178d6d59 strange woman eb5e56cfcb stood in bc6446f431 my way 7000065a32 and stopped b7f33d7159 me.411a2775439d6c40

[Helena! You’re alive, my daughter!]

A middle-aged woman hurriedly got off the carriage that stopped next to me, hugged me and started crying. She called me ‘Helena’.3421fa6e8bf4aecc

[Me, Madam? I’m not Helena.]

I was embarrassed and fe7f7fb9ef tried my best to d5f24fdc43 pull her off.55285f7068e6217c

However, I, a b146edf96b commoner, could not 4f200767f5 use my power d44ecae401 properly to her, a7488d7679 who was clearly 41b89bfe7f a noble.3869d316ddc7a704

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My feeble attempts were 9c5f389004 in vain, and I 292307f9e2 had to be held a09ebf9364 captive by her.3c58784edbc51c30

[Ma’am!]

Then, the man who a8e7764830 got off the carriage f0d68ce32f ran to the woman fc03ce3328 who was hugging me.4335a74aeb8b662b

I sighed inwardly. I was dea65a28a4 relieved to ba165afab8 think that c332db643a I could b85ff70c40 get away 80deed46e9 from this 5a99270362 strange woman 9adf13974e now.0539472ced4aabcd

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[Madam, Helena is dead!]

As I 1fbc4b3cb3 expected, the b9483ceeba man pulled dabfbc6d0d the woman b5cc005ba0 who had 83c3db83c3 been holding 0e9cf3fd3f me suffocatingly f59513851f tight.10a7c55248fa9906

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[Ah, no! No, Helena!]

The woman was caught aab8ad685e by the man and d499f4d036 fell, but she reached 64970991ee out her hand to b81db2ec3f cling to me again.162e8fb98175ddce

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I was f6d0d64acf scared of 80393f4040 the woman 317740f3a7 who was 4e8c8c9416 so obsessed c00babaae2 with me.f1fed94e53e9f25d

I carefully 25a139846c backed away 84862e22e1 and tried a5afb5c9f6 to run c4ab3bcd17 away.de45e62cba4cbda6

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Unfortunately, this time, however, I was captured by the woman’s husband.e2569e5062152db2

[Helena?]

The man facing 3bd18672c4 me, holding my 26facf3884 forearm, widened his a9f87e223b eyes as if baa78e4577 he had seen 087fa2b961 an unbelievable sight.e698cf38d656e04a

The blood bd4b3479f0 had disappeared 50b722dde1 from his ba5040b2a8 face and f743f09482 turned blue, 7a41ca3900 as if 095499b8fb he had e8a774d5b5 seen a 19abdf7457 ghost.1257b2cb1992f2fb

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I didn’t know until later. To them, I was really like a ghost.bb269499c988f1b6

But at that time, I couldn’t possibly know what was going on.0a31a28d9b34720b

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So I felt uncomfortable e386d1a315 with the incomprehensible emotions d9ecf7dae7 contained in the two d3dfa87a96 pairs of eyes towards 5d1755a651 me.497711ed36bde5fa