WYIL Ch 14

With fingertips as 46739a3e7d cold as ice, b922d89fc3 I rubbed the 3c2d88583a corners of my 1ee5f1a5e8 eyes which were 6f46c6f6b0 filled with tears.046aee0cc0f5ba37

My head was c7c0280c46 aching maybe because e763696aa0 I cried for 52a9fc4085 a long time. The pain from 95fe54f3fb the swollen eyes 0ab7ef110e pierced my brain a7a7572e0f sharply.492a239b738e0073

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Perhaps this is 7ada87e3e0 the punishment that 1dabb0460f I inflicted on c69aa834cd myself in the 1896d8ed06 present.feb1b1b57565047b

I have already caused 555f624ee5 enough trouble for Aslan 3842540d92 by being here up ef69602c27 till now.dd7b0213ed393dab

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Once upon a time, when I was locked up in the attic by myself, I made a promise to myself…3810f8087dd703dc

‘That’s right. People need to know their place. Don’t be overly mistaken, and don’t have any false hopes.’9d1a6a080494e668

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“Now let’s go out. Jenna might be b255bafab8 looking for me.”e3afeba1da25700b

I wiped my ba5db5a522 eyes once more aea8252147 with my damp 24a434800a sleeves and stood c697d2b83f up.89b82dde46e500f6

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My hair, face, 548d8acdab and clothes must 67f393fb5a have been a 720cc8d0d8 mess.8417601ae5523103

I didn’t want anyone to notice my shabby appearance, so I walked more carefully than usual.5ab0bd0ddccb4ec0

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So,no one 723f332743 noticed my b169893dc5 presence.2acae00d401f7a20

Was it 613b3222c8 a virtue a06a8cf54a or a af74e68811 fault? But as 79c12a6c89 I was 16b963c426 climbing down f4b96ac351 the stairs, 677919ed92 I heard 6346eab2a0 a story da7e681fae which the f3fd09b761 maids were cad79674a5 talking about 05cdabec71 on the 7885f2746a stairs.b54f1db4793d1a4d

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“But don’t you think the two look really good together?”353bf90153b7c405

“Who are you talking about?”2b8c79eaba0478f7

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“My lord and Miss Rosalyn.”d6f8b6afa6308c6d

“What?”6a9f87aa0b4d8eba

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The conversation 40df63ae5f continued while 1b3c349292 I was 9962089528 wondering if fc1ddb7ae0 I should 7dcfd1ef14 let them fc10e4e026 know I c65d49b580 was there.6dc0a187dc698e9d

“Why are you 005aa7676f saying that now?”54e6882b34e6513b

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“Why? Can’t I speak what’s on my mind?”96c943632beb43de

“You’ll be in big trouble if somebody hears you!”674c4d0c81194dc2

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“What do you mean?”2f79361714e6845a

“How upset must the Madam be when she hears it. And if the Lord knows that…….”24765b5ee4c847c4

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“But I’m not the only one who thinks so, everyone does.”f8d5cb9b0f82729a

“Everyone?”6302b8b85525d9bf

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“The ladies who came 5365396208 to the mansion at 9963d75eb2 the invitation of Miss ecb828ae37 Rosalyn the other day.”7affc2625b6eedeb

Those words reminded f4b31b12ad me of the f6709db731 women I had f26017f112 met in the 570805ce77 drawing room. They were praising 7026926b59 Rosalyn while waving 675e4c1223 their fans, and 78ecc457f5 they looked at bbeba2de26 me with displeasure.95d41f9e9aca84c9

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“If the 068562a4e4 lady hadn’t 2ffafeaa75 been here, adb6761acf the seat 08e3c7f8bb next to 899a5ab309 the owner 1846eda34b would have 251ab5ff11 been Ms. Rosalyn’s.47f95e227c83a2e5

Was there such cbb69412a7 a story spreading?958333f1a73c9337

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These days, I f429ad7f26 know that the 260ce76e23 nobles and the 7532936ddb workers who work 0b1f6b9740 and come to c5582c6534 the mansion keep e01baa948a their mouths shut 06cdbb7275 when they see 60da5fe441 me even while 87feece18f talking.de6fdc3be5f62f6b

I thought the back story about me must be the same, but I didn’t find out what was going on in detail.2d92bc10852a948d

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I thought it would 1185bc9bd7 be nothing but gossip 80f198e0bd about me, who took f068b67447 the title of Duchess 81e54c7f50 of Tordell with the ce471868ba same luck as before.dabe410d6a306c4d

‘That’s what’s being said about Aslan and Rosalyn.’674a85a2eea9f592

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I didn’t know.e407d86b8f6be864

Since I’m not the only one with eyes, it was not strange that there are rumours about the two.e08c6bedfef07507

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“Well, isn’t that not even wrong? I can’t help but admire someone as great and wonderful as our master, so I’m sure Miss Rosalyn is fond of him too. Seeing how the master treats Miss Rosalyn, I don’t think he hates it.”10727f37234ab3e7

“What nonsense! He feel sorry for Miss Rosalyn’s situation, so the kind owner treats her well. It’s not because he have special feelings towards her.”fe3a9202e02d8645

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The maid, who stood 2c4af33adb up for me, added.31cd90574af7afdd

“ How 07c1e27952 much the a4bb451e4c master cares b473d6b24d about the 8ac08de3c9 madam!”74806fc3bd54903e

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However, the maid, 88cd7cab14 who was insisting 5fdd8bc357 that Rosalyn and 6e565062db Aslan were a c522d29edb good match, immediately cf9a4e7a4b refuted.09beaee99afb635d

“Isn’t it because his 7c60becf79 wife loves him?”0b467bffb7c37850

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“What?”0c4adeabcdcb278b

“She is the only mistress of our master. He is also kind to lower-class people like us, so of course he’s going to try to be nicer to his wife as well.”c63a06d9cbafb4ef

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Without realizing 6e8b0a86da it, I 08df577efe gave strength 41bf407b6c to my e7d3d6a058 clenched fist. My nails pierced painfully 3b721fef17 into my palms.12c3cb3a5b897381

“So, you f193012165 mean that 4712462021 the master 8ac7ae7a9e cares so a39a664838 much about 9d287f599d the Madam e03b789d18 just because 5661e6d6f1 she is 1147aeb016 his wife?”32067013f81225e3

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I closed my eyes tightly because I felt dizzy. However, the family that I had turned away from because I was afraid to face came out through the maid’s mouth.88d68437e21d36cb

“If the master had married Miss Rosalyn, he would have cared as much as he does now, or perhaps even more-“92dcbae59c489c27

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“Stop!”d029436978539dbe

A startled voice 2ebbefd5fa interrupted.f7624c38042793b6

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“Let’s stop talking about this. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. If the Lord knows, like before…… Oh, I don’t know!”ce4c55a4990149c8

Behind the words full c2526f7177 of anxiety, the sound 6f852f97db of footsteps hurriedly leaving 8e62ad265e the place scattered in b36b54b4cb the air.fe66ce107b41cd13

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“Let’s go together!”39f0c7f5986dc79a

Even after 7f25819e54 the sound 0c2a17604b of their b86841da05 footsteps completely f962ee5b7d disappeared, it b684b7868c took a 5e3ac947ae long time 74391b0621 before I e108837d35 came out 3309180eb8 of the 277278473c shadow .6b98e85b2099e870

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“Ha.”d7eebcb337d445ee

I was tired. I was about a8368e3b86 to faint. I wanted to fall 295937af49 down.8cf623ba0f09b721

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I wanted to lose my mind and sleep forgetting all my worries. A deep and long sleep. So that I don’t think about anything.449a51fd5e0576d8

I managed to 15fd1c4c0b move by dragging a908aa54da my feet back 4a0296d527 to the bedroom.d118534b894642db

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And I fell 944452e3db into a dark 0238f1bb9a sleep as I 1f9800411c wanted.56be5b25f2843c35

Read only bd22bb4e6a at Moonlight 3b50f50b0e Novels9aafbed317340bdf

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The week b6d4465265 passed by 682905206d quickly.2e969c3bddcd13e4

Nothing changed in this long or short time. It was because I didn’t do anything.b7f4c231a3ed60ec

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Why didn’t I do anything? I asked myself. Why can’t I give up on him easily even though I know he has someone he loves?….3f46d9b27b22f5f7

This is the result of careful consideration. Leaving his side is like losing the world to me. My world has been him since I signed the marriage contract three years ago. I couldn’t help but hold myself completely to him, who saved me from dying and gave me a new life.ba323bdbd3f42f03

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That’s why.d7d4350bd442073a

I cannot easily leave 7505747b2f Aslan, who has become 14ce639893 my everything.a43b3d102b89c542

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It’s not even funny.941d735b7bcfc779

I knew from 2b8986279e the beginning that 294212ad94 there was an 05cd16782b end. For the past 08819e406b three years, I d9f0cd566c have emptied my 979138d76f mind and heart, 89bbd7cebf reflecting on that dd811158e9 fact every day.8fb10e608dd5dddb

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I believed 553b139673 it was 5e3c01ac31 empty.8b9c2a0014f2862c

But my heart is still full of all kinds of feelings for Aslan. I thought it was empty, but in fact, I couldn’t empty anything.1a8b0fc71c39afca

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‘I don’t want to drag Aslan down with myself.’c6072e6cceabfa9a

So I have 4c7501f5a3 to leave…….c1eb7d5343e0f3bf

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‘I need to accept the reality and stop parasitizing in the Tordell mansion.’cdce641be22bd8b8

I was not aa067a29bc offended by people 4412d4fe8a talking about me 510fce19fa because I was 113c7e6783 an a shameless fa876c8914 woman who sucked ca4ac2fa60 the blood of 0158d34b27 the Tordell family.8098f768e9e73678

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There is nothing wrong with what they say. I have been, and still have been, a nuisance to the Tordell family for the last three years, leaning on Aslan’s goodwill.e2c81378e6f18c5a

I’ve been living in my bedroom all week.68937aa93cee300a

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I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to see anyone. I just laid helplessly on the bed and looked at the ceiling.9e28fc24cd1d710b

I didn’t want to see Rosalyn and Aslan together again while looking outside, so the room with the curtains on the window was dark.43c592dbfbe97f23

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In the darkness without ab93e90d10 a ray of light, 63f4b33cad I turned a blind c8a57b0975 eye to reality.f9c9e0ecc0e73f6a

I was doing such 620bd6c605 a stupid thing, like 20b04f6cd3 a bird who believed 72956b86e4 that burying its face 852d199ab6 in the ground would 942bff1d9b overcome all the crisis.4c7d884f6cbc5495

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knock, knock.c0248e25b688bf47

“Madam, I’ve prepared a meal.”44f1fd2b3eb8582c

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“…….”ca146839fc09da4b

“I’ll leave it in front ……I only prepared what you like, so please eat it.”2d2c60fa18a50bb7

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Even my exclusive maid, a6dda0fe63 Jenna, I did not d884da4248 let her in.f2a3944fdb268329

I won’t look good now because I have been in the bed all day long without anyone to take care of me.98bcf9addb1bf7d4

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On the subject of having nothing. Noble status, beauty, and wealth. Far from helping Aslan, I don’t have any qualifications to stay with him.88ae60723b31f53c

‘But now I’m even lazy and dirty.’3dd76a886253dbac

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I thought, blinking my d7343cf15e stiff eyes. The breathtaking self-loathing was 0e7d63f9a1 pathetic.a5dfba79722ff920

knock, knock.4959565ecd260c75

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“Wife.”a4fb2f6a4ae5e048

It was Aslan.2e69dfb5ede08462

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“Are you sleeping?”1e765cd20a280b14

My body trembled at 095e33403c the sound of his 62afabf3eb voice.b340ac003763ea3f

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“I heard you didn’t let the doctor in who came to see you. Are you sure you’re okay?”0c22b6f436b99312

He stood firm df639b03c3 even though no dc70932f4c answer came from 04fff16dcc me.3958e7132daca9a5

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I could easily imagine him talking to me over the door. His fine eyebrows must be frowned for worrying about me, and he must be holding the doorknob even though he can’t open the door.6ecebea3c77eddcf

“I’m worried. I can’t even focus on things because I’m thinking about what you’re doing right now.”36ba38df52e620d7

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The more his voice 0be93e450e continued, the clearer my e87128c9f8 head became.53fe16431a85c613

Aslan was 0a73a944d6 a busy 72c7fe9297 man. To cause such af96ff0b16 a nuisance to f2c7d8b6b6 him, who has 60bb402dc7 been busy with 1232181fe4 construction, is to 422edcd13f avenge his kindness.f487fa1a0f4d0da4

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“I heard that the amount of food has decreased. Don’t you have any appetite? Or, is the meal not to your liking? I told the cook to mind…….”04fce26405efb868

Tsk. He clicked his tongue as if he didn’t like the situation. My shoulders were lowered because it seemed like it was reprimanding me somehow. Even though I know it couldn’t be.7f028a9ff05831d2

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“If you feel uncomfortable, feel free to tell me. This is your home, isn’t it? If anyone seems disrespectful, I’ll fix that habit firmly…….”d753c0f5430e2419

His kind words brought 547ec1c29a tears to my eyes. I bit my lip.06a7898dba3c5145

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“Your home” was e977151475 an overstatement. Can I refer a01afa0370 to this place 370d8cf4cf where I cannot 55baf290fd stay for the 5ed2b26cb0 rest of my 5be6b29150 life with the 994ac50581 warm word ‘home’?a20bd4bb2e223750

And scolding the users because of me. Even the maids who moved around behind his back acknowledged his generosity. I shouldn’t have hurt his reputation.d1697a86617bdef8

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“I am not c01c680deb trying to urge c5e391f7c7 you wife, But 4c1b3b76cd please, let me 34f994ac40 take care of b2e1e5dcf0 your body.”5e0720c5631d1efe

He was 6bc1adbdd0 sweet to eef1f70be6 the end. So it hurt c19eb5719e me more.3fc171817fa0f506

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At the same time, I came to my senses. I didn’t want to hold him here even more because he was wasting time because of me.fb663e3ab75d598a

This time ce103c404a I was c6787150f2 quick to f86e3de5be make up 3e93dae278 my mind c7f8175d18 maybe because 90c12fc478 I locked ebdb929a3d myself in 34f5e477a9 this room a049fd85ab for a 6f25bb7e0a week, my 8c8fd13ed9 mind swamped d44c5da781 with thoughts.23acdcfaa8486b3a

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I felt refreshed.7f19edd26b47bd8a

I felt like af373e8274 the lingering feelings e5a4277ea0 that had been 25431156f9 holding me were 9d543ef55c falling off now.bf9646d7d83d22ff

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