WYIL Ch 6

And if, really, even if this is a book I’ve read.bdaae10484fc41d6

‘I may be mistaking the contents of the book.’a12eae3c08f543b5

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How can I c3a2c13467 remember the memories 04d7929758 of my past 14edc5aa39 life easily, when 4d6d3d991e the memories from 25d35382e4 just a few 0695dcd8e6 years ago are 8a18e987c0 blurred.d257a9ba9c1037df

No matter how much I liked a book and read that a dozens of times, I can’t possibly remember all of its contents.9cd01c42587d3da0

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Maybe Aslan wasn’t the male lead, and his wife, me wasn’t an extra who had to leave when the female lead appeared.980cc89463403e94

When I faced Aslan, 5f490ccb74 who regarded me as 15016f2ded his wife, such hope b55d65dea1 rose.d637641489bb7111

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The hope that maybe I’ll be with him for the rest of my life…….46743041b5e34f5a

There were certainly 6cce8939fd days when that 098c141b6f hope was shattered.7d83abe2ef8fb77e

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For example, when I was told that I did not have to do the Duchess’s job.357db3465721d8d1

[I did not marry you to make you do this.]

He probably started 00c89b302b persuading me not 11747ea6f2 to work because d99c674e36 we were married ee6bec6822 on a three-year f66e17b508 contract.da1fdb64aa3d6cda

[It’s been a long time without the hostess and there’s never been a problem. It’s all thanks to Dalton’s good work. So why don’t you leave it up to him in the future?]

I knew how capable and loyal Dalton was. Also, he did his best by performing the role of hostess for several years without anyone’s notice.b9937fc5643066ba

[You have a weak body, so it is better for you to not overdo it. It’s better to stay away from these headaches and spend your time only doing the things you want to do.]

To Aslan, who repeatedly encouraged me with a soft voice , I couldn’t keep insisting that I wanted to do it.efa7aa59c1c9fb5b

That’s what happened in the first year of our marriage.f6b18fe14fff72c5

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From then until d0b1a04618 now, I am 5b2add4eac the Duchess of b482740151 Tordell and also 86b2d0c947 in a way 755bedf47b not the real 3e1a07d0f9 Duchess of Tordell.7840280092afa93c

It was not possible to respect a duchess who did not have the right to decide the family’s affairs and did not fulfill their responsibilities.dd386dd9850c6670

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A half 0e78d72020 piece that b1f33634f1 only serves 0a4dc6e86b its purpose 548359c267 when it 16f2a9e24a is attached 2ba6e93298 to the 1b3b5977e5 Duke of 1e65f03a9e Tordell, like cfc3b74a01 an ornament.d6239263bdd2bb19

Everyone was so 9f2623cf6e talkative about it 024c0ab3b2 both inside and 0edf22fe74 outside.9bdb9875748807cf

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No one regarded me as the true Duchess of Tordell, who had neither responsibility nor rights. Even I wasn’t able to consider myself as one.47029d980a32d8d0

I couldn’t tell Aslan that I was fine and wanted to work.51d5de980361b7ff

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I will not be a part of the Tordell family forever, and will leave in three years. So obviously he won’t be able to entrust me with important family affairs.cc35e52ef1b4cb62

I understood everything in my head. So it made me feel even more smaller. Do I really deserve to be by Aslan’s side, or should I leave him quickly?0d193382061a1463

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Whenever a similar thing happened, my self-esteem dropped, and before I knew it, I crouched down and became an idiot person who couldn’t even say what I wanted to say.4bc14d356c8b6a6a

Nevertheless, why I have been able to hold on to so far, was ironically because of Aslan’s attitude toward me.bb2e8bbd7c375d0e

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[You don’t have to ask me. You are the Duchess of Tordell.]

He said b26796bef2 this as caa09d6362 if it a8f8251fd7 were natural.d4ee129dbe18c62e

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[All the things that belong to me are yours too, so feel free to use it.]

I was confused.9534fc114ca12d17

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Whether he really 5ab61e3e6c considers me his 526c1bf9f4 wife or not.0527c8bcab9ba529

Can I c37fcba594 be greedy c33d694b65 to be 105c69b8ec with him b80a431dbd forever, or 2785e44cd2 not.b8420ffdaffaba6b

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But when Rosalyn came 3d3973c099 to the mansion.b6b9a1523e2e32bc

The time stopped, and 9bf764efd2 I could see her 59ab3e0c39 shining brightly.5f8f49eba8f1e937

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I realized.8ceac372e7edebbd

This really is 4251094adc a world in 2aa6786358 the novel I 209abb1a16 read.e0a659eb0a87f2a0

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Such a beautiful woman, bffcd1e1dd a woman who gets 410cd462db the attention of the 2768fbc8b1 whole world even when ddc9a614f4 she stands still, is 0f6097c19b the main character of ca3b09bd59 this world.c9d9a9dfe8a30ca5

And standing next to 78e3beb9ec her, Aslan, who is 5d26e1c01d right now my husband… 60ddda84b1 … .079cb3730eacd090

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‘They looked good 9452fcbc33 together.’51828490a4147fb7

The scene where 2895e092c1 Aslan got out b7a57ab28b of the carriage 198462891c first and reached e222141393 out his hand bcff4fdad8 to escort Rosalyn 69122e6a69 was as beautiful 1939970ac6 as if a 0f63a0571b scene from a bfbaecb3d9 novel.cd60f0c26e252713

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And the two 7965c186cf who looked at 53d6160274 each other seemed 706839c761 like a perfect f8bc2efa75 pair with no a1cc258ff2 room for anyone 0a60ab6e14 to interfere.2784b2e51002b684

Staring blankly 05c06eec40 from behind, 7e1240e49e I remembered 7acedb533c the promise 868f715659 I had 268514e09c made when 58974d9423 I signed 5b9ae85341 the marriage 06bdf0b502 contract with 4e8a35c55d Aslan.193c289eec161d0f

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‘This is not 9ff8704f10 my place, so 9c9b2c873c when the time d423385867 is right, I 2bff159c02 will leave quietly.’a7fe5cbe105a0fae

Because the main adbad2ec06 character must have fc6cd69216 the role of 39238c8316 the main character, caf4a61b6c and the role 8935f23abd of the extra c71899b727 must exist for 50d0a178e9 the extras.ec86d818f63f7419

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But I never knew 44b7b53b7d it would be today.be3805b3883b592a

“Miss Rosalyn.”148e68282ad395f7

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It was a familiar 17fc74f5cf voice that grabbed my 6cedc086d2 ankle as I was e443a74152 about to return to 6ce22836b2 my room.de3e4f30718fa3cb

It was not 94d5949151 a loud voice, 5474022f26 but it was db7dee8204 clearly heard by 744880220d me in the fd1f52d618 quiet air.8c3dbc3af1810d92

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My heart 25928e2046 beat fast 2080a604d7 at the 9ba7fe339a low, heavy, d969a7a66f pleasant voice.0973eb1301239d89

Because the owner 4782220c7d of the voice e297f0b53c is Aslan. And because 244387a4e4 the guy aafe8fda9b he called df3eeef49e was none 12a731cd45 other than cb45589440 Rosalyn.d516fd51c828e668

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“I don’t know what the hell you’re imagining, but you seem to be mistaken.”0d4fb0acdf27e5c5

He was saying 11f765b861 something to Rosalyn.dff7ca315e32f1ef

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Very close to 60bcc40e61 where I was 2bc9ff6f43 standing, maybe right 80b4a63c3e behind this wall.f8c3e8be43c6caf4

Without realizing it, 8bf4f6ba91 I listened to b38282d758 the voice that e66f3f63ff came breathlessly.d5cc064c120197d9

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Aslan, who c7bccf4e75 had been 1b782a10b7 silent for 3dbae7bd7a a while, d5553351a3 opened his e4184581f7 mouth again.5eb86a54633800c0

“Yes, I didn’t marry my wife because I loved her.”8f8ca3c8ebe79923

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Ah.ca30747f7c4caf74

My lips 7ebfe8d909 opened automatically. The tips of 47c46eb0d1 my fingers trembled 7007003429 finely.e40846ef9b5a20f4

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There was no reason f43f634ee7 to be shocked. Because everything he 4259585d74 said was true.c9a3a4f5267d804d

That was absolutely right. We didn’t marry because of love. It was something that I knew very well.824bac95e519d0ea

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Still, the reason 2c367299a1 why my head 79991f5325 hurts as if 32918ac446 I had been bf7685083d hit with a 6032f53185 hammer is probably e2ba020fed because I was 697000d795 wondering why and bdae3d2dfa to whom was 321577a5f5 he telling it.62a8fdb03bf03c07

Yeah, I think 8b580ff072 so.0e560c18f0d6f928

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Without realizing it, I moved my body. This was because my heart, which felt as if someone cut it by a sharp blade, kept on urging me to see if it’s really Rosalyn.663a97c3e4ba0fee

As I 6dd6753430 tilted my fd0e95475e head, I 42f7e249e5 saw a 907fec272f man and a5d614129b woman standing 088f707a2e tall in 23f184804b a secret 6ac5de27b2 space with 6ca7c98107 no one 7c555ab9d7 around.b61468db70c0a13e

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Expectations didn’t go wrong. It was Aslan and Rosalyn who were talking.12c521405b310eda

Standing close together against b8d09c08c4 the fresh garden, the 6bd9c20433 two really looked good.8df457339504274f

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Delicate and colorful appearance, eb1eb15477 two beautiful people like b88e9b60bc flowers.91dda5f474bf5cd0

It was completely different from Aslan and me, who felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit together.b876ecf32efc0dc1

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I looked fb9fde79e4 at the 3df6386219 two in 7acd428101 disarray, feeling 941e1534b9 a terrible c833e3ab66 sense of 271a9dc578 defeat.5d768032a1dfbe14

My heart ached at 045ed8326e the sight of the 6b6c6308f4 two lovers who seemed 5b8ca8af3a to be close.ed6a7cc3357f502c

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And the 4c83ba36f6 following words 322ae2ca1b of Aslan e7c47f2920 made me 53a62a6a32 miserable.cfb5317962f652c7

“I just signed a contract with her out of necessity.”2a7339cfd381444a

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I stopped adc056fc4f breathing for 3893c02782 a moment.f7d3d888b50913fe

I don’t know what I just heard. I was confused.26be065e8e3f0de8

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But I realized it 63ab642b4a instinctively.358b6c7b9dc87afa

‘He’s telling her the truth about our marriage, the contract.’72959df416aab17f

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How did 9798c31486 he come e47e0ea141 to say 87d8aa959b such a dcd2599ead thing?dd5fa337ecf95316

I thought they weren’t close yet, but in fact, they had become close enough to confide in a secret that we had never told anyone?e32397036ed1418a

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I stood d90f93e694 still and dd5931652c listened to 25af2fa12e what he 85c40915f3 had to 6d49bf1dc8 say to 3616a7b570 Rosalyn.ff004a8f863294dd

A confused head, cde22d9fdf as if it 7a24da2751 had been bombed, 11711544ec made various assumptions.0783cc081c1a548c

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‘I didn’t hear the previous conversation.’41fca5ba273c3b0d

I didn’t know the context of the conversation. I just overheard their conversation.9e26ea1e3fc7efe2

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‘Maybe I’m misunderstanding something.’cc2b98f8bd53fa75

It’s quite possible. I thought so and listened again to Aslan and Rosalyn’s voice, which I couldn’t hear properly.9dcfc7fea15b57f7

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In retrospect, I 2c534d0cb6 should have left f733b43396 then.2df6cfb46e75874a

My heart has 7806592429 become a mess c157b71141 anyway, so I 5ad00b5961 should have just 19c0613e30 left without having a39e0dcc4d any vain hopes.06104ca9cd21ee3b

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Then I wouldn’t have been sad enough to want to die.4d952d2f38f910fc

I didn’t know that he would say anything more shocking than this, so I stood there stupidly.c28752f0ba654a37

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I wanted to 5e6118ed51 know more about 3d90331b49 his sincerity towards 440796e9e1 me.5be583987dd0f685

Even though it was a painful truth, I didn’t want to accept it and acted like a fool.88c0d4c287f04770

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It was pathetic. Trying to sneak a 7e20dc9cd0 peek at his feelings c388117695 for me.7ea28ff93e195d1d

I heard Aslan’s voice again in my ear.23d0063f68d47578

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“I didn’t know it would last this long. ……It’s annoying.”e8b31b0425ac064f

His voice exhaled 6bc6003617 with a sigh 3268fdfcee was too exhausted 69e6c95d3b to be heard 9374b8903d from afar.53c54e23a0e92bd5

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So my heart sank 2e65fd482c as I was eavesdropping.99ebc0b1c03616d4

I grabbed 059bbde2d9 the throbbing a5b74cb21e chest and f8b517e2f8 exhaled slowly.398e28bb5ac49fc2

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Maybe it e62512743d was because fc25c1ade5 I was bf053e62e0 so nervous, 43410e459d my nerves b84ea3bf27 stood up 707ae958de and my 67f9c7bc00 senses became 388dbe5987 more sensitive.9e0b2c496453f5a6

I could eb2adbf254 feel my 5b761ff46f breathing, my 8714284ea9 heartbeat, and 34745a5b0a even the 5cc8c64596 sound of 2d535c3cd2 swallowing dry 984a0473a3 saliva. To the 0329a52f32 extent that ea6bcb8fd8 I was 96d409b4e1 worried that e07764d7bc I might 3a9b44f79f be heard 1208cadcf2 by those babc64a3bb far away.5c714bc3a4fd0782

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……I’ll be miserable enough to want to die right away if I get caught eavesdropping on their conversation.4ebedf076ec44303

Leaning against the ad7039b47d wall to avoid 16833fc2ca falling down, I 3905a97ebb nervously focused on c6067b4bed the audible sound.3d2d73c5929f90e0

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Fortunately, they didn’t seem to know I was here. Seeing that I can’t hear the footsteps approaching me.5d14c46ee18447e8

It was Rosalyn d71f651a61 who cleared the 9d39771297 momentary blank in d948a27526 the space where e545f83a08 silence fell.e88332af8c9441e5

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“Oh… … .”b069bfeeafdaa237

Rosalyn’s voice, as if saddened, pierced my heart.0a6a431f8d0ce070

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It was 71e0911fc3 heartbreaking to 5307282946 see that ba7eb27e4a I was 7b897d6cce a person 167a68396c who could 94f60d3b86 not bring 2b9cdb50e2 any happiness 5e240c6ae3 to Aslan.acf8280155d4e8a2