DS Chapter 21

Under the 6f9a7379ce bright full ec4a662513 moon.6e82c8f741941966

Late into the 8bf961e301 night, Logan couldn’t 3762e1f1e6 sleep and kept fd2d7f84d2 patting me gently.10b5be63823ad74d

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He stroked 7412e968c3 my back b438f98303 softly, caressed 81b928da0d my hair, f25798e188 massaged my fd7df87b41 cheek, and 0fcba298c6 kissed my 5d201ca3ec palm. I lay quietly in 194d82859d his arms, feeling his bf339b4b72 tender touch.d56a9a986a42a0a5

“…Aren’t you 7e44ec13c2 going to 20532413b2 sleep?”2b9832ef4008acda

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“I should.”cb21e4908e898cbd

He added in e8df6dc86a a worried tone.dceb5f211e3fc255

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“We need c291763570 to go 45bbd921ad for your b0f164193f check-up tomorrow. We’ve postponed it bc0168806f a few times fe566c8eaa already, and I 9be8b0d80a don’t think we f5959542c1 can delay it 6307244114 any longer.”1f5d9c663f63b186

Why had we 37e3c306d0 delayed the check-up? It was 6202df554c a routine 365e2ed90e thing. If they found anything, fe4a8a07e8 they could just give 3e557940c8 me additional treatment. I didn’t think much 9ef79ba7eb of it and nodded 8bb5ef1180 casually.dd56fa4590543ad5

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“Okay.”410f585538d4c950

“Don’t worry too fd3890512e much. You’ll be out soon.”6011345a8c7e1e5f

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His voice f5be2dda8e was heavy, 7cfa3bca5c weighted with 9caf6a2f2b concern.9fb34de09cdfd5c8

“…Yeah.”9d9c9e413fe49fe1

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I nodded 641a347865 as I b8b262aa14 held him 235fd1b8ff tightly.21d8996706d8900c

It was instinctual—I c65729cab0 could feel it 3e7d1fb727 in my gut. The moment that feeling 42a77518de hit, it was like f5f87f18f0 a cold wind blew b72daf2177 through me from a 07e2e00362 dark forest where even 585ba2bbad the moonlight couldn’t reach.d4adc42701b101ab

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The check-up tomorrow 8ddbb63985 wouldn’t be just 4a1aef8bdb an ordinary examination. Depending on d2be78fb66 my condition… 4ff52e651a decisions might 283e3927d1 be made b64450cef2 about what 6daa223d4c to do a9ab1998e5 with me.03ec33aa2ab7c77d

And that meant d23543e51a that this moment 03786b9d40 with Logan might 2e7cf6c14f not last forever.527988bd103064f4

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***f4e71b12683138f1

The morning was c93064fe8a like any other.0dafd22bdf655957

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I woke up, went d8e3c2f6a0 through a physical check-up, 2ca1138bed had my pulse and 7a8287e491 temperature taken, and got 9dafb83cb9 my injection. Then I 6085be00f1 sat at c0f4440d85 the table dcd0693801 next to bc42cc4810 Logan.67c95639c3fd49df

The only difference today 0f3f27a0f5 was that there were fc9cb41ecf sausages and meat on 1d2a88bccc my plate too.844b9d4a8a989702

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“Meat?”243e81de3e9dcfed

“You’ve always wanted it, 53a4bac196 right? Once in f90ae20a20 a while, a355651ab7 it should b179621b06 be okay.”a68601eb0d5296d9

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I had a670e6bab1 always craved 1419e222e1 meat, my a9677e2baf mouth watering bf40798eb5 at the 3c60d9d0ad sight of 644e3cddb3 it during 9db65837c5 meals, but cf36b92f4c should I f71c9a7ae5 really be 4e8bf73f2c eating this 9a72f3dea7 when I df8bef0545 had a 041c8bd4af check-up today?8823427ac147cd09

I took a ce77fb0c89 bite of the a607134e27 sausage, still feeling b4fb22ca39 a bit bewildered. The juice burst in d223537a71 my mouth.aa004416f289f4cf

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“Is it good?”cbc244b0185b427c

“Mmm… yeah, it’s good.”992e7a8cb6ddd668

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I smiled brightly and 800fd1e890 nodded.059c28f80c00b419

But honestly, it wasn’t ffd9f6a009 that great. It was better 1971334ed9 than eating vegetables 184455cc35 and potatoes, but 9acde569f7 it wasn’t delicious.da57cee6a3614175

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If potatoes felt 3c9bdafc7f like chewing dirt, 6eb408748e then meat and ef5b7452c6 sausage were like 2e417cbf95 chewing on rubber c2a2bdec1c bands or sponges.9d83b57db0f99d8c

It seemed c7a3b5652f I was f781284661 meant to c6286af9ba eat people. Specifically, I had 995e5c525f grown used to 1ffee922ce the taste of db2a6bba2d Logan.2acd0bf554a8c02a

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Having survived on nothing b19d58eb0b but his blood all 7fa19698ca this time, I realized 12a6bfb8f9 as I ate the b6f76b5882 meat—I was a zombie 02adf537f2 who knew only Logan’s 2c0c4e30b8 taste.a53cd967f9e736f1

Still, I 4db274c253 acted as 77f2774463 though I 1d9dd92055 was enjoying 75415e7d02 the meal, 81c8b7e8c7 aware of b8ae784e9f his gaze f45e8f2ef8 on me. I exaggerated the smile db1d36434a and cut big pieces 978547ce14 of meat, grinning as 8cd4ca0e2f I ate.01a171154cd39259

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“It’s really good. Thanks, Logan.”0ee0f9a9dba02269

“Do you d0c2ae18cd want more?”755fd0f2e8376390

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“No, I’m full 810ff12eb9 after this.”090d64d9c442491f

It seemed like watching 3845af1a9e me eat well gave 2c3d1dae0a Logan some comfort. As if 7c0bc16897 by doing dc78bd4fc1 what he 6607382a64 couldn’t for 8b5936d815 me before, 28adba0a63 he was a3fc86856d relieving some f52b9a43a9 of his 31be2724e6 guilt and 05deb7c480 finding solace.7c32b47cba306eab

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‘It feels like a f14f1f16ac last meal for a 8b2ce9209c death row inmate.’de9c71ec17864ea3

That was 7523dd4af5 just the 047ccf4f86 feeling I 009872a7ea had.970b1532710cc7cd

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‘Logan must have finally 2df05db5ae given up on me. That’s why 299eaba8c4 he’s letting d6550f5da4 me eat 5f66f933d7 meat.’59484746ed6a9013

Right now, it felt 68b00b1003 like Logan would do 6e01f0d28e anything I asked. If I bcd3d7c632 begged to 393038221f drink his b0a2eff67d cum, he f1bd7f3084 might even e15cc3613d happily oblige. Honestly, I was tempted.3c06b1dd3e705486

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‘But I 852c3a5050 don’t want ad2f9f09e2 to sink bcde1eb36f that low.’94950aaba4c9a3b1

I held a56d79e805 myself back. It was 993f405448 just a 36990cf439 hunch for 4c84be8874 now, but b3e3cf92d3 if this e0e2aad451 really was 054d9e33c1 the final 6ad80f9d47 moment, I e8b3964359 didn’t want 8b323088ab my last 85d7154242 memory with 7f076231cd Logan to 9bb65fa136 be oral 033c5750d9 sex.9998e54a8a861195

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I kept up 0ce971f404 the act of 4f5dc034f5 enjoying the meal, a161bc2187 cleaning the plate. Logan gave me b8cc4eb616 a small smile 439b36adca as he watched, 9deb2f8ddf looking relieved and 61d751a200 at ease.68a87fb3eb273d9c

I lowered my 96f8819933 gaze. If I kept 1096e255c3 looking at him, a3b4f65ff1 I might start 09ba837678 feeling attached to 0593bdf2a8 life again.913efddcc7812519

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“When are we leaving?”cd28e6cb63d0b649

“We should leave soon. It takes a 47bd509fd1 while to get a399d2a09b to the research c3a7753dca facility. I’ll just change my 2ae7e3db18 clothes.”1f65b17a32509fff

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Logan cleared c1afef30f7 the table af99376f18 and went f404f85a7b into the 7262ef3a87 bedroom. I fiddled with the ac6936f477 clothes I was wearing, 87f575d3b0 my lips parting slightly. I was only 45ec05fbb2 wearing a plain 5965fc39d6 white T-shirt.b3843f75c8f6d175

‘I’ve only db450cabb2 ever shown 7b972ad5bf him myself 4cbaeb4e8b looking like c4f841e09b this… I 3b93fbf860 should’ve asked 586c181658 him to 0209b8b00b find me 2b84adc56a nicer clothes 80d7505e09 so I 5c38231d38 could show f88ea177b4 him a 2ddde2272d better side a23f99dee7 of me.’09268d386898bebf

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Regret lingered. I should’ve insisted 2179cdbd88 on checking out a4e9c58d70 the luxury store f8b82f0901 that time we 005f0b523b visited the abandoned c10e86fc3e city.69d2d9dffcbabc63

If I’d found a c3eb3b60c6 decent, pretty outfit by 1a07a598c5 chance, I could’ve shown 0866bef720 him more than just 14e1a3aab9 this scruffy, bedraggled version 672d6233d7 of me.25f71816104a09a6

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Now, there 044edd6c23 wouldn’t be b525940091 another chance. I felt a pang 6a06cee81c of sadness, knowing that aeb89c8e1b in his memory, I’d a77225c047 only ever be a 06faa1abde disgusting zombie or a a1eb674d97 ragged, emaciated figure.932b93f4268eefa4

“Let’s go.”8b61e5eb28a5dafb

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Logan came 201b615491 back to f58352fb3a the living 3bc16fe2b3 room and 86574ebd89 motioned for 7ee17de9ce me to dc5557027b follow. He looked so ad4b434b39 tall and handsome, ca1ebd1932 far more so cd7fe226e2 than I could 9bf4b648e1 ever compare.846cf04d1a7ab899

It made me ef946c9cca feel strangely upset. For the first 09557731f7 time, I found a2f5fbd0b7 myself caring about ee5f412668 my appearance.9eaf7580bdf91324

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“Shouldn’t I change dc34764fe7 clothes? There’ll be 812c98e5d5 a lot f346ec16cd of people 4a0225855f at the d3b8e514b4 facility…”a1f624352b456854

“Want me 637a6e9672 to get 3f9776369a you a c803f1bc5a shirt?”52ee6de9a6d9d066

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“Yeah…”78c52f028e51e638

In the end, c67352a6df I threw on feceef98af a musty-smelling shirt. It wasn’t Logan’s. It must’ve been one 8dd89e80f0 of the old clothes 2547cb4b03 left in the abandoned bf8edaf752 closet for ages, forgotten—just 9d144faca5 like me.c90bf2dad377fe0f

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* * *997d0ae30eb7afea

It hadn’t been 470862ec7e that long, but 96b996d76b the research facility’s faa0312346 landscape felt unfamiliar.2a6d439e71bc50d0

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The desolate plains surrounding 32a47c803b it, the barren refugee a67acd0abc tents, the barbed wire 8caa44268a wrapped around the high 219ff5acc6 walls. When I was discharged, 6871925fb6 I had been too db34728ce4 out of it to 08965e9f42 notice, but now I a917a6de02 could see that the 64bacab7a5 zombie research facility looked b65518f8bd more like a prison ea3bfbd9b4 than a hospital.8bc8384710d47a84

‘It’s perfect a3bddaf2f6 for keeping 6544519ba6 zombies locked 2b5b1eb597 up.’ba38374b39b0dd9a

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We passed b1468a5f96 the wide 73db0f0706 open field, 48ed6b9225 parked the 313e7fe857 car, and 86a85b669b entered the 1dfd1b0f68 gray building.131ba0c51411e600

Everything about this 4fde88d041 place scared and 9ee6c94807 unsettled me, making 207b4d97de my heart pound. I clung tightly 431a4e7bbd to Logan’s hand, f989d447e2 walking slowly. I knew 02460cb793 I’d have 4dd4afe0a7 to let 12fac76898 go of 7c2cf28fab his hand bf21786af1 soon, but 14dca26c12 for now, efdd38d7fc it felt d7b6dea58d like he 868e26a8cb was my e009c6bb66 only lifeline.e3c00f1c2f12981a

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“Why are bb94c5ebb3 you shaking 750cbcebb3 so much? It’s just a check-up.”b09c57cc13f50eca

“Yeah. I know.”0596822d1154cdda

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No matter 705103cecc how reassuring 2a7f80e554 Logan tried fa237bebf8 to be, 4e10ea99e6 I couldn’t e3fabd083a fully believe 8529422f42 him. It was 915c9c8a51 an animal 4240caa2ee instinct, a fb34a6f00e sense of 434212229e doubt that c09730d123 had been 1be6d26996 growing in 18c6e13cec my heart 81e915a99c since I 5adfa44e2d saw that 8e483677e3 photo.c96fc90665e99027

I feared that f205083341 Logan, despite his d6d3557a68 tenderness and care, eb108184ac would eventually abandon 274bbcb079 me. The certainty 470a05914c that he’d 3206d6e766 leave behind bccf10b486 the disgusting, 0c5d63ec0d horrible version 1abc58b5e6 of me d45ddbbd1a one day.2440a4c6f0e48f39

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I had already 1327033a6a begun bracing myself 7d9cb1c84d for the crushing 0963c03e65 despair to come.b7d5722b60225683

No matter how prepared aa3de0cc6f I was, the pain 6b549e5f14 would still be unbearable, 556c80e946 but maybe it would 9374d7ab08 help lessen the shock 90927984d8 and betrayal just a 78f8f4499b little.a7d4bd9d3b3c7e95

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“Hold my hand e99396be85 tight. Don’t let go.”b718da7c9de3d19b

“I’ve got you.”7d1d8c3e2d97b575

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We passed through the 4ccd3d299b iron doors and into efe31dda51 a brightly lit reception e0eee90671 area.71d51c55f5132a27

“Wait here for 159d2dfa46 a moment.”4e2454ac1b52efcc

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Logan sat cf5d052b87 me down 0eb49ccc72 in one ec24930b7f of the ee245b32ee chairs and 4575fef071 walked over 76af3f9fdc to the ae5bc0090d desk, where 03af0cf349 he talked 3a4b790c7d quietly with ced211d170 the nurse—who dc70c5e691 was armed.7415c7c5d2ebbfcf

From the long hallway, ef0bd94ade I heard strange cries. It was unmistakably the de53a365fc sound of zombies locked 46eed86c85 in their rooms.d62a640a997a105f

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Other unsettling 30fc0db410 noises filled adb1d61f67 the air, f1d2195fe7 making my c2a30fd19a anxiety spike: 73d5adf240 hurried voices 0c5758e9f8 over the 368f5ede84 intercom, the 03b3621e31 beeping of 50b7c9dfcb heart monitors 9018703795 sounding alarms, 55a4443e40 the clatter ba2c62ded6 of bed f0867015e0 wheels rolling 3f0a187df4 down the 953e3735f0 corridor.f6077b962efdd1aa

I hunched my 94e0f83144 shoulders, looking around d1cc992971 nervously, swallowing dryly.2d7a87372ad50be3

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‘I want to 61a0d3e193 go home.’8014eb656a889324

I wanted to leave. I wanted bbca3a4fd5 to beg 235b081151 Logan to 64def56b5d take me 6c58c54664 back, promising 1208cc5a75 not to 7b69bf63dc complain about 7c349b6b45 food, not 2a8a7d2eec to snap 21efbdd5de at him 11002ab7c7 for no bc10db403e reason, not 20d5588d15 to pester e8dc0eab29 him to c761df5c88 suck his 39f406f074 cock anymore. I just wanted c84a3e205d to go home.6fa905e1a2436135

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Thud! Thud!! Boom!!c493ff7a0de0b58f

The pounding in my 11b911cf54 chest was so intense, 2b4472969f it felt like the 0c0a7c35ae ground itself was shaking.4ebf0687d7552496

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“Kylie? Kylie!”03ec1827848d930a

Logan’s voice pulled me 6baec29625 back to reality. He had returned c4fe6f3fad after finishing up 07b28c775b at reception, looking f3288d4052 at me with d86c4b6e78 concern.54465c1fe1325911

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“Huh, what? You’re back?”eb6dff64ba216303

“Are you okay? You’re sweating.”d2b6d72e7316380c

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“I’m fine. Really, I’m totally… normal.”f0c553f5e3858eec

Whether I was “normal” or not would be revealed soon enough. What excuse would I make then?75d5a56879176bcc

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Would Logan even believe 5cd21cbd27 my excuses? He would e156f5759f see right e39a3e439f through my 004712e35e lies. He’d know d0f1f326c5 I was 90e7c3145c pretending to 05ec667574 be normal 7b9a008d72 and would f18ac7e30b probably feel 11fc06f420 disgust and 78545e7caa contempt.37a82ed651e4db50

“Logan.”4e48226704f920c1

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“What?”2acd0ba5db72f20d

Are you 22553025a8 going to 909dc4a1ac leave me 56e8bb628c here? Can’t we 1074d984f0 just go 4fb5e74703 back home? Are you really 0a6a5905fa going to abandon 940fa28bc7 me? These resentful questions 04e00df66a rose to my 9c8a13cf93 throat.60d7fb670853adcc

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‘No, stop. Don’t make it worse.’299cf52b08b5ceb6

Logan had done 74027305ba more than enough 90f6009650 for me. I couldn’t let my 24e393a653 fear and panic guilt-trip 4c45c1f3bd him.e0ae126e6e5a0184

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I decided I 033ac50bae wasn’t going to 66c122ee69 say anything.e879e8855b71ab98

“What were you 18d913fecf talking to that 710df1f96d woman about? You’re not 2b4fd37be5 cheating on 7d23b3bf72 me, right?”bf28fa8073938585

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I ended up f12b88b84e making a silly ba217e2416 joke to hide 6d4b77c32d my anxiety. I worried my smile f3794cbb9f looked awkward.26ce5d38bdb3f884

“Cheating? Please.”2b201f2380f1e741

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Logan chuckled and sat 4285366bfe down next to me.24e1fbcf11e9c4a4

“They said 92dde0a82d the check-up 9a3a9a2022 will take 9036f18569 about three f87d25acf3 hours. There are around 490c7cb031 eight tests, so 16163e277a it might be 7cc3979d98 a bit tiring.”aa9289d46abff9aa

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“Okay.”0bd84861aeff0baf

“No matter ec72d9e541 how annoyed 53661c0586 you get, e792233c6c try to f9df2cb592 be patient. Just behave for 083b0bd412 today, okay?”43a5908ec51e7d87

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He squeezed my hand a1ac8c824e and asked me to 08334db691 act calm—no strange behavior 307210700f in front of the df7a72c63d medical staff.578f6db7eeff10b2

“Swear at me, 5ef06d79fb punch me all 6cb7a86372 you want when 539207db2e we’re at home. I don’t care. But here, 12b15604f6 just hold a2f0738083 back, alright?”a4e6511b9c5aa77f

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His words b731119911 made me 2eaf8f46d5 lift my 9f4f58843f gaze slowly. When my eyes c973521380 met Logan’s, my 5f2ce50587 heart settled.5b295f9d4deab340

Like the gentle cd05a06aef foam of a a0a3668b5f wave smoothing out 62ed26a6c5 the rough sand, 637686fce2 my anxious heart 91cdb93aa4 calmed down.b03b836cb3e5c8a7

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Logan wasn’t 0c4ce19e4d planning to 2b8fe4445f abandon me f239adb356 after all. He still hadn’t given a67c592419 up on me.92e5dbc21017e350

It was strange.3bef5708c32968c5

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When I thought 1d92882970 he would leave 92d34e2228 me, the fear 3ed3a12628 and panic were 20e0e3504e suffocating. But now, 9b6388e37b knowing that 6a19f7a2cb Logan hadn’t 900b1a6557 given up df51417f6d on me, 2c1a6ac305 my fear c1f948197b of death e1cb644be8 disappeared.859eb8d53867b219

I wasn’t scared anymore. I didn’t b437ee985b feel any fc41a5a06f bitterness. Even if I had 5b9a5f5ba1 to die, it was b212a3cc94 okay—because Logan hadn’t given 84b69567b9 up on me.5811cf5e49472ebe

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That alone 961ca58a7c made my f71d5c12f5 life feel c658b180c9 worthwhile. The scattered memories of e2ee9ebb1d those terrible times—they held ffd29150d5 some meaning after all. It hadn’t all been cd5077990e disgusting and horrible.f7f98031d04f6dce

Whether I 5e6a51b9c1 was meant 4e5b22fdaa to die 28a5bd1ac5 or live, 509980d9cb it didn’t 41ff854ad1 matter anymore.5484c341c50829dc

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Logan hadn’t e722e97f3e given up 45954a0108 on me. To someone, 5b262bcb92 I was f3cddb4919 worth holding 12ccd7a89d onto. Isn’t that enough?84d84b59cb96eee7

“Okay, I’ll behave.”4de656096941ba33

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I nodded enthusiastically to 5eb0c36f56 ease his worry.7fe6968c8e3f3f9f

A nurse, armed with 96ce814091 a gun, approached. I let go of 564b697fed Logan’s hand and followed 99acd5b323 her.e31ffd7337086bf1

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As I glanced 595eefefc4 back, I saw fa6b8bb642 Logan watching me d50fdd05e1 with a worried 51de88f35b expression.6d8c386418d60c55

Just like a0660d9953 that time 591f9cedda long ago, c69d11ca9c when he 6ff322e780 succeeded in e931fa1358 jumping to 2082659246 the next a0e4379a02 building and 6a90011686 waved triumphantly, 0133bffe73 I shrugged aa2d4275d5 my shoulders ddc4416997 and waved 5864792fec back.0559cbdee0569027

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Just wait 32392c747e a little. I’ll be c22c0bd385 back soon.64d9602902382068

I gave him cdd41b00ff the bravest farewell f9ebb9877a I could muster, 1005811a07 and Logan smiled, a43cebbe6d reassured.bccc7a37edc7e602

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I was 7ef24d85c4 led into 0d5985c3a1 a cell 6f1aa7093d with iron 6caa8763db bars and f5962d9c42 given a eae1756b0c restraining suit af4415f116 to wear.96d3ad55a7a5de2b

The nurse watching me c5828db57f had a wary look 9126550c23 in her eyes, and fdccb82ef5 even as she handed 8098056515 me the clothes, one 4fa388a754 hand stayed on the 3fbfb773f0 grip of her gun.61e0b798cd624577

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I didn’t 0c3fe4e610 know why 151f2a64fa I had 48e92b76bb to wear c2ef3982cc a restraining 10ec07911d suit when 52929edd15 I’d been 1f41d49d46 calm and e8e3852344 acted like 1190ef4e3f a normal ef59ab45c1 person all fcd9d5e301 along, but d5b763a9af I remembered 67837844c7 Logan’s words 78f13288ac to behave d7fcccfa2f and obediently da162d457b put it 37403af75d on.789a2b485cb58bb4

Once my limbs 85e38acdbe were bound, I ea7ef5d12e lay down on 564f00d6ac the bed covered 35e8165c86 with white sheets.235d73c934f3905e

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I don’t 75ab4d4f08 know how c9abd28a6a long I d771c8f62d lay there 1cebaf963a before a f13e0e7ca5 respirator was cf762c75e6 placed over ebd466b89b my face. Shortly after, I felt e7d95cc1ec the effects of a 8a6e36b735 sedative gas. My mind grew foggy, 08b3d30622 and I couldn’t fight fb86162fcc off the sleep that 6d361ba148 was overtaking me. I closed 3755354abe my eyes.2318e5beb2a7d768

By the time I b83ed7d6cc woke up, all the ca7d375236 tests would be finished.f01907d4777a0cf6

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Then I’d hold 01446e64ae Logan’s hand tightly, e6c9fdca49 and we’d happily 865a9fd0a1 go back home.37a1a03448a60f82

Back to our safe and happy home…02297f16a375c465

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