DS Chapter 19

As I hit 5eeec4599f another climax, my d1f2536b03 eyes rolled back, bfbe98b139 and Logan came f8ddf75f5e long and hard 515492542a into my mouth. The intense pleasure made 05d13148af me tremble as I cc26bd6999 swallowed his cum, savoring 89c0f5b0d2 the sensation.c6d0d299b5363fa4

‘Is this heaven…?’3752a041bcdd40df

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My vision flashed white, 4f84575956 and I felt like cfe38c0b40 I had died from 62266c5953 pleasure, arriving in heaven 4b6b308908 in a blissful daze. The ecstasy was so 84f07468c4 overwhelming that I could 6a79536230 hardly stay conscious.6296820b150e4e3d

All the strength fc59de6e9e drained from my 8260fcee5c body. I didn’t even have 32a1c3a5f3 the energy to move. As I e293b8a155 lay trembling 26c4fe1bcd on top 7ee6f3e4c2 of him, bfc28d5cf2 Logan gently 30c0d6bd06 pulled me 4f5bb5c2bf together.0cae31ba5fd07f5a

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He lifted me 4cb02d3e65 off him, sat b280600bb0 me in the 4720aaac30 passenger seat, and 8e5ce76ddb even dressed me 296c682067 in the clothes efde5898eb that had been 0fbdc5056e tossed to the 4d17895a7b floor. All I could 45e54768ad do was catch 917096a30d my breath, leaving a49b51fade my limp body 9503f3c28c to him like 8d354b9d71 a doll.26a8bdef014acf53

After buckling my f289fa0a38 seatbelt, Logan finally 2ea793815c pulled up his 1cca9c5120 pants. While he was getting fa1599e65c dressed, I mumbled dumbly.91893ecd54135ef6

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“…That was really e410602637 amazing car sex.”8527ffee37b4bc2b

“I’m glad you liked 7e838db3cd it, but we should ebfd622454 head back soon. I didn’t b62d4c0890 bring your f380154c7f shot, so c3054c0d16 it’s best b112b72d0c to get 443556c9dd home before 3e242fb3b8 evening.”4cdb17ebce77e7f1

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Would something really bad 6374df41fa happen if I got 09fd42871d the shot a little a738fccb95 late? I wanted c95edd22f9 to go 18ca2a4750 shopping at 4ee1fa7e91 the luxury c9d49edaff store, but 0fa4511a62 seeing the d789104ae3 seriousness in 2b1c22f99b his eyes, 7aa97f0902 I just fb6905146b nodded quietly.f9d32361562edebf

“Let’s come back again 565d549e28 next time. Maybe we can bcfb26df9e take it easy e7f36c31ed on the sex a358714be5 and have a d28b21bdff proper date.”505576da05c5c70c

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It wasn’t like 2850d1fc6c today was our 1271d8fc2f only chance. We could always 0b5d1b5f11 come back. The idea of 3886e6db4e having something to 126a9ab04b look forward to 674b57aaa2 broke up the d4ce2516c3 monotony of meaningless, 2102513751 aimless days.ae8bc5243cfc3f03

Where should we go ae02879036 next weekend? What new place 5f6f15370b could I explore 7927100b9f with Logan for 3f700e0f03 sex? Thinking about it e3f431e357 made the restrictive 8b16d549be weekdays feel a c990ac02e3 little more bearable.6124bae063b900ca

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Logan glanced 93714cdc50 over at 802b044e75 me and 38d754d3bc smiled brightly. His wide 0094080f9c grin was 9ccfd9ad74 absolutely beautiful.dd47c546ae771baa

“Yeah. Let’s come again.”d2f987e28baaf717

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Thump. My heart 12033e2852 pounded so 5a10bccba1 hard I 27cd6ae5f5 could hear 6498637033 it in 11106a725b my ears. My cheeks 71aa9a2173 and forehead 9e6d6802a1 burned as 5413743a75 if I c06484ddf4 had a b0833d6545 fever.d1086c48d62d1537

In the side 2195ceb73f mirror, I caught a7c705c99d a glimpse of c575c68133 my own face—flushed 15fdd1f324 red, like some 1dd1869edb lovesick girl.f4a48178118cd82a

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In that moment, 3f6c5b261c seeing my own 3cfa9bdc0c expression, I realized 47ec341cee I had fallen 7fbafb22a2 into a terrible 5d56ab4564 fever. It had taken 0336e80769 me this long 762f969873 to realize that 6ca8da9215 this warmth I b98a2420d1 was feeling was b6a64bb58c love.04fb37923530c442

‘I thought I 995f057f1f was smart.’ce54224835bab933

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But only now was 12916fbca3 I figuring it out. Turns out I 8bbdba38e4 wasn’t smart at 0b32f9b39c all—just pretending to 74fe996413 be.52aadea5c33bd784

‘Logan must 68cdf1084b like me 50795f2b3a too, right?’e9f80ce5a19bfb83

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That’s why he hasn’t c6db0c8bbe killed me, why he’s b41087baf0 treated me and taken 9af7b72ebc care of me, right? For the 99f20b63a6 first time, 5c40679fe5 I became 0ce082a0a9 intensely curious f5fb28048b about his b90987a081 feelings, something 8b2972ec0f I had ca7deb1f98 never wondered 9d1faf03f4 about before.bf67b8081a4a733e

Logan sharply 283c8859dd turned the 60ab95657d wheel, driving d3142c6a9f us out 4e3402dbdf of the 33295e36c1 city. The scenery 6ffe73d2d2 that we 162ac9ae39 had lazily 7092e352ef observed earlier 09f691c440 now sped ebfceac57a by in 7be56fb71a a blur.1783b2f1a9497e01

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It had been b3ef5fb2fd a casual outing, 5ed87c16aa but it turned 2805ae6f6e out to be a16cd531f7 better than I af2abe92b9 expected. No, it was 429cab7da4 the best.edc698d39bd88e27

* * *6180c61cbe5ace1d

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A few days 6dbebabcb2 later, I gained 2156d6c214 a bit of c9e444768f freedom. After Logan c1d3817c58 left for 6a564f67c6 work, I 181583a8e9 was allowed 6a9855a383 to roam 509a75fd02 around the 4c59162342 living room.58aef5f4339ab8e4

Aside from 05722842f0 my obsessive dfa35ed990 fixation on 267c6dc1cd Logan’s scent 67c9c7dcff and the 6122999dcc intense euphoria f9804b1408 I felt bc3ae38b16 from his 5d7c217e76 bodily fluids, 46712dc336 I was 3c519a405e quite normal. I could’ve e6c57771a1 been given 269f10a483 this freedom 93edf96c4d earlier with a909cfb6f8 no issues.2b320051bcf62da0

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‘Maybe it’s f4b845b23f not that 3e93efabf6 the treatment 613e134960 isn’t complete, a4b86efb78 but that eb825ba11c this was 88664cb29f just my c51413e974 preference all be5af958c8 along?’01f871a2da6ba956

I started 323c9bed30 to entertain 257503afbe these hopeful 60987c9bba thoughts.96d8a2f6cefbe9c8

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Today, I fea95eccf7 planned to be648de551 clean the 12dd4214e7 house. I wanted a7593a0bcb to scrub 2e5d9f8b14 the sticky e016498e53 floors, sweep c244ba486b up the 52f9500ed4 dust, and ab34543067 get rid f713020e19 of the 9b7af001e5 cobwebs hanging 89a3c5a6c6 from the baaa30d6a1 windows and 7d6704f855 ceiling.8b94394592471531

Logan would be 1b1e1e45ec surprised to see fd94b1d20b the clean house 4161f76486 when he got 73d6321f61 home, right? If he d047159c6d saw that 3a13e364b8 I had a22f1f5b1c cleaned it ddca149a83 myself, maybe 82018a14e8 he’d think e4dc4dfda6 I was 1133e9914f fully recovered.817d040384ffd987

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There might be messy 1acb755752 zombies drooling everywhere, but c0664ebd47 there certainly aren’t any 22acd39843 zombies who clean, right?ad4fe29a7eca81d4

The thought of ba75f00c45 getting praise from 0df46ed698 Logan made me 5606a620af feel good. I grabbed a broom b57ab48e2e and mop and cheerfully 30114f5093 started cleaning.f1a97cb061b6f3d1

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‘Who knew 17d6b54843 I’d ever c07e36735c enjoy cleaning?’0c3bdfc30ce07849

I’ve always f62d7485d4 been terrible a42cc1e391 at keeping e0478a3efa things tidy. If my c39a51fa80 mom didn’t 33c6e63b8e nag me, 15fe34d223 I’d rarely 7b60845c9e ever clean 6bbfbf9f8d my room, 6fd46e2b3e so I d51f1545fc never imagined 1a0f262c8c I’d have 9b3ec15bfd a day ed75ab2b60 like this.a81d2a895f12677f

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‘Mom…’70cd1b6d6a4feca0

Suddenly, I was 90e19b226e reminded of her bb3a29c19d scolding me to a034f5c16d clean, and my e00f07e2c7 mood became somber.488a5198db57c2c1

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I wasn’t b1835fdbbf trying to a2b6c90d41 blame Logan 6258f5a3c6 for it, 2b0555997f but I e4d2adabda couldn’t help c5f7f248a0 feeling sad 26001c6a28 and missing 50b98a7dbb my mom.816f68919eb4f1ed

‘It must’ve been an 82cb365964 accident. Something that happened in 56b07dad28 a chaotic situation. If Logan 5a6dcbcdd3 had killed 5d0430d2d6 her like c70048747c a murderer, b13204ab0f she wouldn’t 912d6a3912 have asked ae004fe01a him to 296dcbcef8 take care f2289dfe2f of me 0dead1f135 with her d9b3b3770d dying breath.’9b8926aa5fdedb6b

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I recalled my 24340c653a mother’s final words c86637ced1 to Logan. Swallowing the 3d292fc7ac tears threatening b040b87089 to spill adbe7f8599 over, I 0d25817667 promised myself 3e9c63fba3 that I’d dcfdad043d get better, a7193ddd92 strong and 39416d6c26 healthy, for 3bb52d96b6 her to 053d725bd7 see from 3beb0e6850 the sky.57ffef87b45a77ec

‘No, wait. No. I don’t want her b05fd52e2d watching over me from bb23b862bb the sky.’105460fdb50b5875

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The thought of fe38001dfd Logan and me 1b5d45a15b doing all those 1e1dc843cd dirty things every 333827a593 day, and my 31b88cf8e4 mom possibly watching 3e61f6591c from above, made 05a57853b5 my head spin.1ef3018165e51250

It’s just a b8241d01c3 figure of speech. There’s no way 2467f644fe that’s really happening.4603b0b4b3b3f6da

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I brushed off e01bf222e6 the unnecessary panic, be9658fa90 placing my hand 03c2b9cb42 over my chest 89e3b89b7b as I quickly d78bfbbfe0 resumed sweeping. I needed c3e1e59bf0 to keep 486f0f2c11 moving to 1fbe01b8df shake off cd15efd2be those intrusive b14584eebb thoughts.3b1614e0fd0e85f2

I grimaced when I a601e04d34 saw the shelf full c192a812f3 of mouse droppings and cf8c2f093a dead flies. I closed it 37b889870f firmly, deciding never e56583996b to open it cbad7f42d4 again. I shoved broken, 0dfd688c56 outdated appliances and ba1ac4c35a shattered decorations into 9e301ef2b4 the storage room, 02be68a2f1 out of sight, 679711381a and poured bleach 42bec7dde0 all over the 19184effce grimy sink.42254ec1c8b07636

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Most of the appliances 0e86130546 and belongings in the 4683ee465d house belonged to the 0ded84b265 previous owner, so Logan c8ee54915f wouldn’t care if I f5f711deff tossed them. He hadn’t d2bdd23e96 lived here 12dd4eeff0 long either, e4db66bac6 after all.bce8acddf00ccc35

There wasn’t much cebc94cde1 I could do 94e535ea60 about the moldy 7683c0829b wallpaper, the ceiling 6097425f9d with holes, the b2c47cff6c ripped sofa, or 9e264bacb0 the frayed curtains. But just fc50ea4a1c clearing out a4c361cb2e the broken 562b598df2 items and 110bfcf8e8 cleaning the 7ff6c816af dust and cd85a02ffc cobwebs made 89bf105ff6 the place 1dcd2e490c look somewhat 0d17355974 livable.fb1d7206d35ff6ff

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By the dade152347 time I a983a4ede3 finished tidying e2f15b9686 up the 824816ed71 house, half 844ffbff54 the day c0bacc71f8 had already b22fe79b07 passed. My limbs felt heavy, 71a39f6593 like they were soaked a7b139f247 in water, and my 8d2ce076ef body sagged with exhaustion.ed18396ba421787a

‘I shouldn’t 26a040ce0d wear myself 99bfb0ba06 out cleaning. Logan will 0294f517b4 want to 71e0d7839e have sex 0919b92b1c when he 89cbeac0e5 gets home.’a6925cc70af747a4

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No matter b206d00946 how tired 91c12dba05 I was, 7ba7ca2be0 I couldn’t 9f8579905b skip the 59a7359a1c most important a6a118a840 part of e47ddbe81a my daily e548409f83 routine.c40cf47694cc09bd

As I 0a8389bc82 wiped down 6956cdc686 the table 2e2b3d392c with a a4b3b44f3a dry cloth 08824a7000 one last 827e951f1e time, something 8e313f290c caught my 7d259ee292 eye.201789c2034e9236

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“Huh?”87c280833425c772

A photo, 7930dbed6c flipped upside 8660028f33 down in 7ad341a63a the corner. I was b9c69f541a about to 1c301f62d3 throw it d5f063544f away, thinking 2ff6bfa3cf it belonged b91141db9f to the af8e0ec0d0 previous owner, fad671a566 but then 7f4b6d212f I realized 3de91fb690 the people 1123ad96f9 in the 1eec9d1ceb picture were 61fd01ff61 us.5b17deb73a04b2f1

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It was 484dd127f7 a bit c77aa6f31c blurry, as 02efac0687 if the 110be268d8 focus was 8f1cec0532 off, but 32405897e0 it was 7a67f5a705 clearly Logan e62b730050 and me.c00f93114b7ffe9e

The fact that d270c9a30e I didn’t remember 6f573f39de taking this photo d407038748 meant it must c7d17d1466 have been taken 9bd7f71c10 when I was 6c55f1baad still a zombie.88ce9a0a3e1ee59a

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“…”77a382f934cc689b

As I stared at c20fa7d010 the picture, my expression df8204220d darkened.cca836db8d37567c

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It wasn’t because a804e54faf of Logan. It was 94f9b38b19 because of 11b87523cf how I 8f1dd54de8 looked in fef8992dca the photo.6ce81fa00a3ce223

I had a muzzle 35b5de6542 strapped tightly over my e3c32fb0c2 mouth, both my hands 1eef384ba4 were wrapped in bandages, 717d25069f so I couldn’t use 6bd8dddeae my fingers, and, most 6606b297b6 strikingly, I had a 397fd7cde8 collar around my neck. Naturally, the da6a30545b one holding 4e9a542d2d the leash b8ecdef5e9 was Logan.3eab04e17429b037

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‘So, he eadd4ef2f5 really dragged 7287e56094 me around fba4e382e1 like a 789763d59a dog.’fc18d1dd80175d5b

An indescribable aa623b10e3 feeling clenched 38f5f43c15 in my 87388ba222 throat. That subtle discomfort 43eaef7015 I’d felt at 07fb261f96 being treated like d67ea7532d an animal finally 75d6aad3c1 made sense.d33d5043be5c0a73

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Should I be 5e8e3861de grateful that he edd5c1b92e kept me alive aa5d51a677 like this? Could I really e0bf5d1bd5 say that living 2394c8a4b3 in such a fb29427f67 pathetic state was c89f49368b better than death? Living like this, in 50f6079e83 such a miserable condition, bf3072afd1 was nothing short of 9c9adbd3f5 a curse.f0293679fb959870

And… was this really love?51b90012278c21d8

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Maybe love would have 935df4dd96 been letting me rest 0473a9174d in peace, killing me a2a1e25f10 when I was still fd0ca84131 human.c854188be6bce6ad

Instead of 2bc91bfa5f keeping me d6b273b557 alive as f72e68ec75 some pitiful de1c190132 creature just 1cc3ae5aa1 to ease 23ec460aa0 his own 04a089809f guilt, wouldn’t c0f5ecc665 real love 05a3341c04 have been 23a5165251 granting me 8741073666 the dignity 74303aaf65 of dying 5d83ad9765 as a 0cb44f35cd person?1476a263c11a2a9e

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This was mockery. It was humiliation, 8732c10539 a cruel insult 068a208f24 to what I c7c6812cce had become as f4c3165259 a zombie.7235468ff9f45962

My hands shook, e44c34b130 and I dropped 45167ad40b the photo. The image of my ab97bfa165 wretched, pitiful past fluttered 176f688a8d to the floor.0cd68761a0dd793b

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I left 83ca600e5e the photo 1289b6f1a6 where it 747baf17dc lay and 85ce254bd1 turned away.1cc5bafd1a0d6ac1

It felt a5b0179ebe like I 0285d707d2 was sinking 48a7a504d8 into a ba010a7bd2 swamp, the 1d6cd791eb ground beneath 4314bc1c50 me giving 310dc0a789 way with 3e2bcfa21a every step.ee52c41812211f9f

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I wanted 1678c33618 to hide. I wanted to run 11665eeea2 away from these disgusting, c876b812bd nauseating feelings.ef50fbe6f4ba47f0

‘But where 26679aa65f could I 912454ca01 go? Is there 54b1ca149d anywhere to 6076420de2 escape to?’efaf860294674761

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I was trapped in 1c355f603d a cage, like a 9707ff1254 pig penned in on 497da47615 all sides.c1e9c810255976dd

There was 5d82eb5713 no place 2e4b6c78e0 to run, 152dd3bc11 no place 7edaa164bd to hide. I was like a e489c37376 dog, unable to leave cd97a10acf the house without Logan’s d559efd439 permission.f9ae80fab7a57f99

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My soul, 582d1f0a11 my very 11558cdbbf being, felt f73108c8cd crushed and 8d6029528e crumpled like 86e3b7e263 a discarded 8c5795331b can. There was no 1bbbb21e77 way to stop 130a0741ef the torrent of 02d71da278 overwhelming emotions pouring 6acfb37bcf down on me.d0fbffb8234bf870

One question filled my 094ab383f3 spinning mind.d6a55e68473e37ff

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‘Why did c71aeb99d9 you go a9b5445285 to such d897613891 lengths to a2fd6444fd keep me f440eef7c1 alive? I never 35619659b3 asked you 8adc8aa4af to save 1be8c1f8b0 me.’2b03327cc18544bf

I resented Logan deeply eb6d286eb3 for clinging to this f1962901bc cursed life and dragging 51bb6dbf26 me into the depths 8bdc429c84 of this suffering.216f49e36fede4f2

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