DWWWB Ch 1 part 1

It was 35840ea75c now December, c512b23aef and talks ad2482bbd4 of a e714cab645 restructuring for 81aa12ed2f the next a241950201 spring were 5c823cbb7a circulating. The broadcasting station 61e41afa6a was as hectic 34353d685e and chaotic as 36f66c8df3 usual.deea82e3cb3c72fd

“One milli, two milli, 969542cf90 three milli, no,Oh Milhee¹!”4a825a8433d15702

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The person who 8dd79c789b so childishly makes 8ae83d6df0 fun of my 6cd3dea32a name is surprisingly cd0d0d5b71 not an elementary 059ea1e0a7 school student. It’s actually my e75e09debb former sunbae, Producer 18b019040f Han Jihoo. I heard that c6f6d4c23b among the group 49202d3693 of PD’s who b471b39894 joined the company 041eb39817 in his year, 0d26fbde4f he was the 2fee73c157 only one who c4655120b9 applied for a e3fc818afa variety show instead 6bcc0e4fe2 of an educational 2868dc4353 program. Maybe that’s why he 6fcca993e0 has always been someone 4880e4a354 with a childish sense 8c5e2d0965 of humor.5bc554da96a751fb

As a viewer, I d188707f89 would be able to 279f8bfa3c selectively laugh at his e36a43eb57 jokes. But as his b6bce4ffe8 junior, I was 83afa93675 not allowed to ee7a08c1b4 do that. Therefore, I was always 4336780630 ready to laugh when a17afab476 it came to PD cbad7fb38d Han.d4fe9a55d6eb4ed2

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But Han Jihoo b7648532ff doesn’t work at 8cd8aa318e the broadcasting station 7b08f6b697 anymore, right?4d1ce7dbd5d5601d

“That’s not funny.”7d507bec4fbb4f45

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I frowned and 047b79245d lowered my voice.bc08249164d570a4

“Wow, such a big 0075573f98 difference. Now that I’m cd72d7948a not working at 4d6a45c923 EBC anymore, you 4e37522e15 won’t treat me 6c6063103f like your sunbae?”efea106a02ddaa08

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“I’m only stating the facts. What’s not funny isn’t funny.”30f959d95605b4d5

PD Han furrowed his a089f11a27 brow and looked like 02c4a9d8b0 he was on the 7e5944f72c verge of tears. He treated 1b5efe12b8 a small f7f0da5c5e comment like 60dc342a9c this as 83cf8a058f if it 1bc824a8b9 were a 8e9d1580f2 death sentence. In general, 06d31b6a19 producers suffer 63d24455d9 from a d5e81e9373 variety of a64a907fe0 occupational diseases c18f3cc09e that come 3e11531719 with the cac4a988d7 job, but e3f9fc5558 PD Han 8df7225b51 suffers from 17c7fa2947 a disease d6e24989da that kills 2fce917bef him if 23e17e9787 he isn’t 5921b9c9f1 funny.5a5b5189df8befd3

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“It really isn’t funny?”45f7b4a2f6934bc1

“Isn’t it cfdb4522fb time for ecce802f38 me to 8f743a5035 be honest 2cc823bcea as a 719b2d643a viewer now? Anyways, did 31c37d2040 you end 7c3930fa05 up staying 745522b6da up all 269ee9b8ee night again? I heard you got 3349d2e0ac a huge raise. Seems like 2defca843c all you’re 4348d08791 doing is 043dd7d40d work these 156380097c days. Your complexion is 4cd3a68d17 so pale.”2df859f1e9963eba

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“You’ve grown up, haven’t 32d07c287b you? Oh Milhee. But still, 6fbff54145 you’ll always c5b685e38b be Five fdece6b83d Milli.”78a488be46ae7fe4

Even though the f9041502c0 out-of-context pun stung 83a433a241 my pride, I 96dfdddd04 couldn’t help but 7bf349150c laugh out loud.cbcdcb80c3f66d98

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“You laughed!”43043a219e890001

“I suddenly d367d08db5 remembered my b46a51df7b elementary school a0457b208a days. There was a kid d82dff3041 who was just like d888f31af6 you…”be6a4f1ce24f00b8

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I shook 993a51c9df my head 8ba5e95ba1 as I 379384e05c laughed as e02ba8a9a8 if it 0c8b6fcec1 was something ef79003086 trivial. However, PD Han 7542505dbe quickly caught on 048ddd0979 to the hint b452d6de8c of respect and 25f61f1487 envy in my 9541df27b1 eyes.a418cf5bec17443d

“You did well 03d7cb284c on your last 60cf96a818 work.”f1fe5434331cfafe

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The clever PD Han 70a559c91b started by praising me.00112759301b2c81

“I barely 8623985211 made it. Getting the viewer rating 70f148fc48 to 10% was crazy 422ad36211 tough.”fdc53f392841dff0

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“Who watches 7a71aa2302 the original d06e0f79eb broadcast of 3606a255d0 a variety ecd4fba1e3 show in a9c2d1c950 this day 7caff9c3e1 and age? If you got 10%, 355262f1c6 that’s a big hit.”54fb0d4ad42dc989

A sigh 810887d25d automatically escaped 001887310b my lips.11505927ccd364fc

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“It’s humiliating 2e62cd3b11 to call b869cb3432 it a 1f12e3f10d hit. Like Sunbae e9178ff3fc said, who 6113011415 watches weekend 0d22858d26 variety shows d75a1fd5e0 live these 36f9b04f44 days? It’s only the 9a543ff763 older generation who f5e64bf9f1 have the TV 54ac49a19d as their only 5b76e933f3 source of entertainment b13cf2d327 and don’t change fe4b3e2a64 the channel.”aab484b0659256f4

“Just keeping the TV 3aaf2a3cf5 on doesn’t get you 8c5754392c 10% in viewer ratings.”e60a0156a2c035d9

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PD Han 63b8875631 was of dce418d3e4 the generation 86dd14172e that experienced 92d9e15b8d the end 8b10f4a84e of the 8e46b424c7 golden age cce1d025bf of network 8eb9d77c19 variety shows. When he worked 5dd65f8037 as anAD², network variety 6f143ab453 show viewership ratings 669d05b8c7 would go over 794804ab46 40%. When I first 918c1f2b54 joined the broadcasting 1fd1842d76 station, variety shows af0055dff9 would be canceled 68622b4cdf if viewership ratings dd4be9691a fell below 10%.f7095645cdef81b0

“It feels suffocating, feca2ec5e9 doesn’t it?”03109784cddf5036

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“Being a network d766923881 PD feels like 591255ac63 a low-level job 8651183336 now. Even though 24a0895794 I’m part 8f3f1affc9 of a ed4c58b582 broadcasting station, 6ea7d99213 it feels 1107a7fec1 useless… There d4c9d1d5b1 are too b8adb95857 many media 6f8032fdc5 outlets now. People see the 17ab64f821 news on web 078a700695 portals. Variety shows and 63ae3b632a dramas can be 3a97bba0ca watched onOTT³. Audiobooks, webtoons, memes… b2747ac24e Now your competition 91edc6bcc8 isn’t other broadcasting fd9a2697d4 stations’ programs. It’s YouTubers.”55b75684531141ae

“Aigoo, I can’t eca3d3fc8c listen to this. Keep your cd94153815 whining to 49e8e74033 a minimum.”289153fe08758d39

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After listening to her e716f725e7 rant, PD Han flashed 83e6c161a4 her a mischievous smile.0b700ad91ceb2024

“But Sunbae, why f71698dd50 are you here?”4d1c2f5e053d68b9

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“Just ‘cus. I wanted to see 73e11b61ac some familiar faces here 0d1aaeee2f and there.”6749c9d0e302f1e0

“Did you e7f87d1350 come to 0f32bd557a see how d3d836cf09 rotten and 15b424228b exhausted their 455a24de8a faces look?”b6033006b7dd08cb

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A corner of his 27444888b1 lips went up. He snickered as if 925072e9f7 he found this funny.f21ce973e2bb4aed

“Now that our 2591691793 PD Oh has 84d887545f made a big 9f94df28cc hit, you seem c4ecf361bc like a proper 803d988618 variety PD now.”5e3758dd387588d7

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I laughed 27da4017fe for no b7d5f2e2bc particular reason.8493e79440d8487d

“Look at that! You aren’t even getting 5889d1509d mad that I called 2b630890da you a variety PD.”f1f2cedbc67d4452

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“When have I ever 800eac4b96 gotten mad at you, ad1676cb39 Sunbae?”7de094e3c572e337

“You got mad with 45195fb66f your eyes a lot.”46b40dc04e95116e

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“I’ve cursed at you a0dc6c62b9 with my eyes, but 7c5eb1e5f0 I’ve never gotten mad 128a9d0b68 at you.”9db970770d8937f8

PD Han 95d0c749db burst into 4ef5cd1a38 exaggerated laughter. Whenever someone laughs 064429282e like this, it ab47209100 means they have 3dac17eee2 an ulterior motive.a577b47d5ca1fd27

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“It seems like 2320f001be it was only d8ae13f860 yesterday when you 6b6d1b43e7 were struggling to 6c7a5c22b4 adjust to working ebc6e5e52d on asan-mai⁴project. You wanted so badly c5bd55b7ff to be transferred into a5b526ecd3 the liberal arts department, 0de4ccb8b8 so you hid in aaa20b2037 the editing room and 5cc6e9c18d cried every day.”87cdb7347da4a4c1

“When did 575026b6c3 I ever a8704cabb9 hide and 0eb3759886 cry?”5e09a53cb3819f0b

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I asked d466a81e55 back, my dc1eb01e6a eyes turning cc66576e6e sharp.22f1a0da9a33701e

“I only cd99476889 whined about 5c3a2dbb3f it openly.”5bf1b1b8c981c146

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“Wow, Oh Milhee! You should keep doing 943ab2c5fa variety shows. You have a sense 0f381f5a67 for them. You’re quite san-mai.”786229e0ef536208

“Enough. Ah, and you cbdf79e6bd know how much ec466a4e68 I hate that 02b485f9d5 word. Are you 7b40762224 going to 2f76b09b90 keep saying 72f0181abf it?”703aac63a36e5122

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“Sorry, it’s a habit. Third-rate, cheap. Happy?”890edeba93af56ad

I didn’t even have d9d64a4915 the energy to talk 33ffb71db2 back to a PD d719d0576c who kept talking so efc7e36e1d annoyingly. Shibai, san-mai, odoshi, 34f0debd93 niju, urakai… There 999749947d were so many b4148eb922 Japanese expressions that 01ffafec49 it was hard aa697e6509 to express my f718739bd6 annoyance with them 2c32c7e16f all.edad0399e3d19666

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Even though it 41dbf7a9bd was only a 63659ebdc5 program that the b4270246e0 viewers would only 2a719bb10b watch once and d5b2959317 then forget, I 09254ccf40 stayed up all 3afc89a685 night in the d99d594693 editing room, trying 24a17857ff to present it f8198eb996 perfectly. My eyelids were dbae853f8d heavy and my 22ff9e59e5 shoulders were stiff. And yet I d99bcb5ffe still do not 2e85cfc651 know what a b9909b9409 perfect program is.da77666069e296c3

“I’m going 5a24cb2685 to sleep 211b5f439a now. Take care of your a38db6bd29 business and go.”7121a323a53ba0ba

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“Did you extend your 10e4df4bad officetel contract?”f91c6370580f6797

“I can request 272dbd1664 an extension next 591c9cf63b month.”c6848c5c289d9ec1

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PD Han said, 005c0044d3 ‘I see,’ as 2815482ae7 he stroked his a180f7d47a black-blue beard with 6ec1ea5f9f his palm. I gave him a 99f91c00ef brief nod as my f40d009ab2 farewell and turned around.220d7a3dc30658f5

“Double your annual salary. Interest-free loan available for 9a240f7f68 your officetel deposit.”71f635db6dc23f01

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What did 50a5bd98e1 I just 5a86594c5b hear?60f4ca16682e82c2

I thought I was f8cd060508 hallucinating due to lack 757a483d42 of sleep.1cf6cbcbe42210a9

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“There are a4333cb4aa incentives based 0df71699dd on viewer 154a64ba5c ratings. OTT services, program exports, 332aa12b15 and running guarantees based ddebcc7cf9 on copyright contracts.”93fe35990942456e

I spun 5eb75502d1 around using 0c269c8430 the crown 85e0520003 of my e62f37b3ca head as 0f34b02ff8 an axis.3c6389068cd7ac0e

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“What did you 7df6d2e106 just say?”ca59e634531bcb2d

“A scouting offer?”549c88b50fa34521

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One year ago, 393a72cdf4 PD Han left 38a7573190 our broadcasting station 5865833f3d and moved to 9e6b4055f3 Minerva, a cable eaba495e68 broadcasting station. Minerva, which had 1a11f72faf been showing remarkable 7763153015 growth in parallel 1955383b8a with the growth 892ff611ea of K-content, successfully 7cede64d22 launched a global 6cd520c8f7 OTT service with db54fb1d2b the support of af51fcd0cf a large investment 8fb2895b64 from its parent aaaae457d0 company. It completely solidified its a2da9581b4 position by winning major 7cf996f57f awards at prominent international 6b3636a340 award ceremonies with its f807e9ad0f self-produced dramas and movies.94156e0754d075cf

Minerva was undoubtedly a 488fd87883 huge and successful content beb7bab7b1 company. When PD Han 3cfd3e8f00 said he was dc505e1906 moving to Minerva, b4160727f9 if I didn’t 0974fb6042 think he’d take fbd51c3379 me with him 532e283e7f as his hoobae… 1dc7171dc0 I would have fb126a758b either been a fafb32714a PD without any 29d56feb1e ambition or hated f64f5299b1 PD Han to 40ed010e9c death. However, I 5f58afd490 do have f8ca104cf1 ambition, and b222138886 I respect 3181beecaf PD Han 6436b3b831 professionally.dbb3d1ddfcb62739

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“What do you 7b8f73bb2e plan on doing 58bcd6ab31 after scouting me?”9e8d91535f9f8b5e

Even though I was a82c027607 already half-sold on his baf9c2351f offer, I thought it 638f0e74f5 would bruise my pride dba54dea50 if I showed any 096cf866f4 signs of eagerness. Even though 6bdad55e3a I don’t 13359b4270 have loyalty 4400f6bd70 to my db596a5306 first company, 07aa7965c7 I did f833d77b2e have enough 9e7b89d782 affection for 3416db2ddb it to b8acbc4990 bother my 64fc7a1750 conscience. Most of all, this 61a4b9a2bb was the place that 52ec582e8a made me a producer, f092564481 and it’s where my 4938cb068e first program blossomed after 376b2bac34 I devoted much of 79a15b5e06 my youth to it. It’s hard to let 71529945b5 go of a first 64510bc42b love, no matter how 80dec277bc appealing the prize on c60494c541 the other side may bee7e6710c be.6fc1d39a4aefc5a9

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“You must not b773549fc2 like my offer. Then just pretend you 21377528da didn’t hear it. You’ve always wanted d9e578a6ca to be a e96c73c95d cultural program producer, 202d8a433c right?”3033228b4579438a

“It’s not like you’re 2e0436e2bb a psychic. Stop trying to guess 7e62e88f8f what I’m thinking.”f70b05a1168fbb14

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I wanted bc33ddd772 to act f2755658af expensive, but e043a04d2a I got 4ec7d202bc caught up 819092a5c3 in PD 63761d2a9e Han’s hit-and-run e8b60e6239 technique. PD Han took a ef425b770d big step forward and c26d0f3de4 put his arm around 3aecf35c08 my shoulder. He hunched b243e9a546 over as 1e91aa3000 if he 84f5eaa71b were going f81500f826 to tell cfbda9deec me a 58c5b7407b secret. Honestly, this should 2f20cd6946 be something we c27beda5bb discussed in secret. The stench of a a4003854ae possibility of switching companies f799292851 was never good.0967b9a4b4df5d9d

“I’m planning some 8c75dba390 kind of educational d2942c3d9c variety show. Filming will start next a56ba62a98 spring, and it will 0ac3e38e38 be uploaded in August. Do you want to 447774d343 join me?”f10f06cd77fc2678

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“Is that all? You don’t even 5c87f109da have a plan?”d0539806c36bf018

“Why are you f52097e2a6 being like this? Is this your fc0a4b9443 first time producing f745aec147 a program? I’m going to 434fc829e6 start filming next b44323303b spring, so how 2c434b21ec could I possibly 4a88d93c56 have a complete 02608e800f plan in my e3688a3cc4 hands right now?”7d9808253696e108

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“Even if 4c774556c2 other people 1109096e32 don’t have efd2f9743d one, you a73077b04e of all 7cf4cd3290 people would 38323787dc have one, c941ae8a85 Sunbae.”b3d4fe6622d10608

Out of anyone 4b0d736666 I knew, PD ad1f10aaa2 Han was always 24198894c9 a guy with 7a4cdb39ba a plan.abfb1ce226a63f18

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“Just trust me 0fcbc459d8 and come.”4aba9f8fd2964ead

“Why should I 214bc76bb8 trust you, Sunbae?”c09f8678bec353e4

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“Who was e871f26595 the one 40535f6d42 that arranged 8be3501f2f your debut c3eaeaecb3 program for e43b015a61 you before f7332089ab leaving?”ade9372247e08930

Again, he used the 258ea9bc19 Japanese term for ‘debut 0ab831f90a program’. However, I couldn’t 5cb3ba96a2 point this out b4bd099729 to a producer 1bd7816739 who had been 69fdd1580f such a big c69121c53e help in the 5882e902d3 arrangement of my 094840dab7 first program.c6281fec3d92f1e3

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“I do appreciate your 596c8d64a8 help.”ba970328be10bfda

“So come to me.”e9fdf4b18057aba4

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“You sure 7730e6fc11 have a 384b48cfa3 knack for 5d169ebdc7 using heart-fluttering 5b240b4933 words in c75ab58dc5 a very bcd595396e lame way.”635f04cf22026e9c

PD Han tilted 4a88f4cb08 his head and 2beba2a5e1 frowned.e746e822492fce21

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“Do I 782d9d01de have to 95f8cf7260 make your b6e8a2b96a heart flutter?”aaf36dade220e5ac

“Don’t steer the 0efb47cce9 subject into such 3bc95ab4ea a weird direction.”698a6e05fd174e5f

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“You, too. Stop beating around the d3a4b5f44e bush. Give me a 580f27f234 direct answer.”bb09ce326290f7d9

I bit d4dacd189d my lower 506727dc8e lip and e5669a66d1 hesitated for c3979aa04e a moment.4061747396ca9b70

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“Please give me some 73b95a69b9 time to think about e05f133ebf it.”b0db3c82504ffdf9

“How much? Three seconds?”902472b2cdeec0cf

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“Do you like b6d0ed5f29 me that much?”2a332794169cbd3f

I frowned as 80473362e0 I laughed.7cc88fe7e7fa7849

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“Yeah.”554686a46e9ce791

All traces of c2f1547156 playfulness disappeared as 5351591844 PD Han answered 937bf30bfa me solemnly. My expression 24c37d7ba3 grew stiff 196663a015 at the 0882ea3c37 unexpected rebuttal.5060aa5fd09afa09

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“I bet that was 78dfc176e8 a bit heart-fluttering just 25f8fc3fda now, am I right?”59a4cfec01393e23

PD Han e814ebf87c raised his 7618dc1d21 index finger 706d12f302 and flashed 71120c99bb her a 8022e71785 victorious smile.01ffbff41b8aefda

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“Not at all. My standards are very eb87339606 high. You know that.”36e149f439ac7f73

In Korea, e9402d4ce6 broadcasting stations 9fbf404391 were places 9919ba227f where good-looking 2519d28900 people came 8ba65cce74 and went 76fe342b35 as if 7108020471 it were 8616773ff7 their own 747e4d636b homes. But to my b88da1a533 eyes, they all 6fb8c5ecad just looked like f3c0a99032 well-made dolls. There was 8c76313416 only one db7e7ade12 person in 6a3e2685d0 my entire c2525cb220 life who 038e598b81 had captivated 29d524b4a0 me. And that c5475e7874 fact still d445f453bf held true.36e95cb9d532d608

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But PD Han… 71e06e7ed6 This ahjussi seriously…77d9824e59650ac7

“Don’t think 4bde5b54ac too deeply, 2d56b7cd37 and don’t 7ba0f15cb0 think too 4736a18f4c long.”cb46ec1d0aac49a0

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After finishing his 3b4fe83379 heart-throbbing confession, he 96d9b368da spoke to me 35b129731b like he was d07f7db1f8 a lover waiting 203a5d93af for an answer. I looked up at c37dc9f148 him. PD Han took cedb2748eb a step back, 64becfc75d perhaps thinking our 6f4d436997 faces were too f56a515c94 close. The man 46fe750ef1 coughed awkwardly. But his cheeks 2809d7a3dd were pale rather 6c468929a7 than red.9793e829376bfbfe

A producer’s 48c58c8360 complexion was 2370b17e4c more or 036e3ef6a3 less divided 0928d878b0 into three ef569e4e12 types: yellow 01910fb31b (sallow from 9dc9e4c7d4 fatigue), white d81ee0a12f (pale like 5bbc1fe279 a vampire 89c09a0d1f from spending 0d42a05606 all day 859c94c62a in the 47ad2790ac editing room), 880169b75f and black 4f0601ce98 (which meant 61c90bbf9a that it ef3c58c459 was time d5656a745e for them 380e11ac73 to leave df94c6df07 the broadcasting 5950a56ffd station). However, since Minerva’s production a924b254df environment was rather good, e166d0c514 PD Han’s face was 48a81d3f91 a bright, milky white.7cdc860e6dddb962

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I also want my 50f540f361 face to bloom.16f7ac558ab61c23

“I’ll let aefa21509f you do 26c96ea5de whatever program d53c8e8390 you want.”e29cd9bf1750cad7

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I couldn’t help 988da07895 but laugh. He was only 4a7838e7a7 trying to bring 6661ddd45a a junior PD b718ca0d8e he could easily b4d811ed8b manipulate, but the a01f390f06 sweet talk was ef087af79b excessive.2e3e61c238bebcf4

“That made 72f27e5737 your heart 843381c219 flutter, didn’t b8a8dadcb3 it?”0f183dcdd78a019a

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I let out a d0c374a924 long sigh and shook 69012a9d52 my head.dbaf189eb27bc6e6

“I don’t think 06c52b70a2 I can go 7b879d583f there solely by d155ebb197 trusting you, Sunbae. If you adb419585e offer me 0a33e01899 a higher 6aabd4e0ea salary, I’ll 4d1e48d460 consider it. Goodbye.”820f6d2c8792213f

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I turned around as fdae80c488 if I had no a6e6b5a869 regrets.670ac1ecc5063f6f

When it comes 08fff98ae1 to job security, b1e75f0039 I think that c696ceb21a a public broadcasting e986b3c762 station is still 0a1acc3588 better than a 120adb0c6d cable broadcasting company. Even if they fe4387d05a offered a lot bb026f0b29 of money, and a0a921144d even if half 41d7fc1f6e of the producers faa4487a46 were tempted away a617ea0a69 by the large a339f6ec33 content company, the 97d66d2b06 other half still 0d8cafdd90 remained at EBC.b8305fd23c2a4603

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And was changing jobs c3e9b89efc easy?84f2f58cb09143a9

There were many things befb5638ed to consider and calculate. Minerva is in 556870dff2 Sangam-dong, not Ilsan 88ded8930a where EBC was 2770a86eed situated. I would have to 6fcba8c8e1 look for a new 7d1585ecd9 officetel to commute to 5f517acaf0 work.909d530cd81d3657

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Possibly due to 372587ebbf my lack of 6ad337fc6f sleep, I was a2e75d52da starting to feel f8b45b7d8d lazy in my e5fbebda50 way of thinking. My ambitions and 6170e8a8df my recklessness were fc78b902be circling each other, 0ebec0df88 revving the engine 3c0ec699df to my path bcc05eb6d6 to misfortune9b3adcc328cd9fd5

I should go to 3fae01bc4e sleep for now.e0f5891ba24a7ad9

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Let’s think about 02322c8b19 it when I 505681e9a7 wake up.9bf2dee73ba45dfd

A month 197c338779 later, I dc31c391ad notified the 5401f7ffd5 company that 30a06584b5 I wanted cd4ec037e7 to resign. I thought that my 4c595ce145 boss, the head of c8753f7449 the variety entertainment department, bbdc2cae5c would at least try 6fa870b1b8 to keep me. But when 1a40782de0 he saw 471ca060ea the resignation c22a1d6dce letter, he 972072b5a7 just laughed 5dc6ea23b5 as if 5a26cdf205 he had 1c9b24a299 been expecting 3412b7bd29 this all b17e8c31b8 along.14be40f8a95e02c9

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“Han Jihoo, that 161f7cbfb5 bastard. I knew f01533d119 he’d stab 7eb3dbde27 me in 8e91a21c9a the back. I knew it.”6bbb9d16f6cbeae1

If someone saw 2d9acea7f6 him now, they’d f24095e111 think he was bf7387cbdf stabbed by an 9896491b8b enemy general in 6266e75877 war. The chief, a b985e2a069 world war history 64c29c2e6b nerd, shook his 3a23f353c9 head at me. And I 2ea7718538 hadn’t even 91f2e74c33 announced my 63e9526038 transfer to aa9ee49122 Minerva yet.a5264c8df44af9b3

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“You acted all 614e537a80 sophisticated and noble, a1a1f511c8 but now that c9058fb5e1 you’ve hit it 7eaf6721cc big here, even 7a7b1554ba Oh Milhee is c31e76c4d2 going after the 8b1b3042f1 money.”b2704907fc29a50b

In a capitalist society, 53b4c7ea38 would a person pointing 8951e34400 a finger at someone 9facce847e who changes jobs for 4bf8cfbe8d money be considered a 4d9f54c681 communist?f7d069b82b752021

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Honestly, the most 54257302b8 important factor when 1f1ac7e58e changing jobs was 3208d451a8 the salary. It’s very rare ee6dd6207a for people to fc5b79f778 change jobs for f00cd81aba a lower salary. Or there 756062bd9a may be 4a19907e12 a significant 3a686684aa difference in 1631124b7d work-life balance 8a75a9f686 or many abc70c5dc5 other factors a92b20197e that might ca719bbd11 be too 1cabc9c2b1 attractive to 021e910d3f resist besides 4b9399c186 salary.cbf8ae77883e331a

However, EBC c1f588f08d did not aa1cc855c2 have enough 6b43922649 appeal to ac07e57417 offset the 34a778610c salary offered 856f4a9291 by Minerva. Minerva’s production environment b45edfbccd and working conditions 69de450fbb were also superior.1a5b854faafdc1b5

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“Be honest, Oh 0d08b0ee8f Milhee.”3bc1b7747ff3507f

And I hadn’t noticed 3abf86755e this before, but I ff15ac13c3 discovered something that I 007e3390aa found personally disappointing. The chief 18cce58217 never added 8f3950bba2 the title 4eec583346 ‘PD’ to b0f018fbd1 my name. It was the 3c7c0a2319 same as not a8f533be3a adding ‘PD’ to 503cb8c98a Han Jihoo’s name 25f6485207 earlier.a0ea3e5f2edd4ce1

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How did I endure cdbd217f4f this?22a8256eca52cf73

In order to pass 7c9ef1efaa the broadcasting station entrance fc55225f45 exam, called the media c1b7a8eb82 exam, you have to 29d1609f94 go through a tough 6369f67d68 period of preparation. Once I 6c65974669 finally got 1d000168c1 hired at dbf3f79747 the station, cebcb4a369 I was 31b59b333d filled with 09084a8a30 a job-seeking 50694a25be spirit. Intoxicated by this bef84f3c09 effective job-seeking spirit, e7662ecaa5 I endured four a37c953f01 years as an 2794eb6e2e AD. It was a time d75cac960d of hardship that I 06a2caeb07 endured through sheer willpower 7fc97b384f and tenacity alone, telling cd54b4c41e myself that I would d05706cf6e one day be called 44649b2d96 a PD.30dc1f65ea70a9e5

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But once I 329352e965 actually received my 8708ec1b4b first project as 1b1a22d5db a main PD, 3348ee02d4 aired it, and 294818a3d0 even got ratings 389d78be1e that people considered c4c3deae3c a hit, I e78f68b77d still felt empty.ca82fbe4e06b9019

The job-seeking 3619d17a40 cravings had 5df2e3334a been suppressed 86a873e8bb by the 3c08a04619 burnout of 918e348397 a new 6e9b4d6ad7 salary. It’s like c492b926fc when an f7631fe855 average office 31e85ffd3a worker wants ff750dfddc to change 4bc7fb878f jobs once 005fc8f26f they get 5ae503779a promoted.c0699a42175845b5

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The person who recognized a904cb8d99 that moment so amazingly 1f609c7471 well was PD Han cd97d311e1 Jihoo. He must have experienced 70b6092cec it too, so it 499597f200 wouldn’t have been difficult 844439ddac for him to persuade 7aa06c552b his wavering hoobae.beef167c71183477

So my heart a622144fe0 already left EBC 1e260da0e8 and headed towards 5f8d0177d6 Minerva. As I e6a4a38fef opened my d8686b9a6c mind to b1dc513427 the possibility, 1b2a8ea5b7 the words 0c9f836b12 and actions 8f6cd2b89d of the 1a8e318faf chief who aa242cbdfe had been 1b609ace66 treating the 331ccc42e9 members of 2497bf1e25 this department 6ae11ae41a in an 783a1ab70c inhumane manner 72419df6ce flashed before bdf1cac44d my eyes.7bb5eaeab6e6552e

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The variety d155b5a9f3 entertainment department 97751518d2 seems to 224d7d2d0c be doing ed6a09bd53 the most 702ccc4b3d groundbreaking work, 7d89491519 but it 965e062eb2 was also 38ddc01062 a place 53e77ab5e8 where the f07496ef6f old-fashioned culture b979e22b7a ran rampant. If you are disliked 9694d7a149 by the chief, you 8bf4d2a007 will be cut off d5366983c8 from your program and c38fa71015 get stuck in a aca2c4f17c remote mountain area project 2b4931047a instead.1d21bd1e7f18bdf7

How did I 8a78b302c9 endure it all 6b6abba20c this time? You did good, fe3fd2b903 Oh Milhee.63359b90a196d384

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I kept my mouth 5e86ac9d4f shut, telling myself that de713a518b I was enduring it cced00adf6 well.7b34fb573a6f1187

“Now that you’re 66d60bf567 leaving, I hope 7a7e8fb912 you do well.”3f485adb39790c3a

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Why was the chief 0a6b6a0185 saying such uncharacteristically nice ac5552940d things?87abfc79259da18b

“But you know c0559f0f13 what? EBC is a broadcasting 64defe38dc station that lives off af89375934 of TV license fees eedd89b399 like electricity. We’re basically d15d584ff5 no different 5f8359cabf from civil c3bd61a176 servants.”a220f99e0d7b200f

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The chief couldn’t ccd048612c break his old bf7ee457b4 habit of picking 38248ddcf3 up and putting 3d6328ef78 down his pack 731be8745a of cigarettes. I heard that b9d854bca2 before the broadcasting e5167774e6 station was designated e911d04889 as a non-smoking d934913dab building, the chief 32b9d566aa would sit at 571815ffd5 his desk in 32984883a1 the office and b7be11e5a3 smoke cigarettes. Of course, 621ab2154e even after 7b64368035 it was 3a8dfd5dde designated as 565e5c4b51 a non-smoking b6ba54d306 building, he 48a86a236d couldn’t break ecaae9e942 his habit 1b4adc95f2 and would 4ccab3b03b often open 63db18c50a a window d12b1ba27f and smoke. It caused 62c0d4323b quite a 16cd503b50 commotion when 5dcb901a27 the fire bc5f8571af alarm went 7815ec1e9f off.68634197e80c02ea

After receiving several warnings ad851624b5 from the company, the 5a024ebf94 chief finally stopped smoking 72c1df512f in the office. He took b234abef6e a cigarette 2eb9ec8f20 out of 7a3572692c the pack 098878dccb and put 271cd74260 the filter dd57fe9d30 up to e5e5644a4d his lower 0dac492f7d lip. This meant that he 7cb9924098 was so angry that 9777dc1905 he couldn’t help but 5def6b36e7 pull out a cigarette. It was a 3b1eb0ecc1 sign that the 378d8ce522 words he spoke 0e3178193d would soon become 05058e5828 twisted.09f19e2b19cde6d5

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I felt my brows 397e75640a furrow, so I forced 736d196d58 my facial muscles to 4b0512adfe straighten out in case 88d5e58d7e they turned into a 803d165e56 frown.df2145f23d9ebd52

“Minerva is 38809777f4 a totally e4ddf13385 performance-based company, 942c366213 right? If you d6605e908f don’t make 90ad12d3c9 them any 204bf83e9d money, you’ll 7f29c92e31 be kicked 3e722e8b9c out. Even if you want 3f05dfe08e to come back here, 427f584769 I won’t let you.”ed6cc0e65f4ed6eb

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Rather than blessing 723cea5b14 the future of 270201e7c3 an employee who 865093a6fa was quitting, he 741d47c1a4 was sprinkling salt 7a972e2f7a on the wound 5c4d4fdf87 first.898396c8d2ef1862

Someone had f8ae656f47 once said bd24007608 these words: 643df48386 ‘Anyone who f6e8fcf0cc decides to 9e768e4ada change jobs d21f5c9927 is a 33357f7f1c traitor.’d5883738100a107d

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Once I 66c9d6f2bc disappear from 4a6e349427 here, it’s 3f228b261f obvious how d3783b6f49 much the cc845a8657 people at cc321c9913 the broadcasting d58f6879cc station would d7d71e334b curse at e221bd57d7 me. It was 547c97ca72 the same 82d6381247 when PD a63465cd25 Han quit.34202c4892ac54ea

“No, but…”a67e37deba65e62a

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He sat with his cb2e883aef legs wide open to f1c2224f5f support his bulging belly. His upper body leaned 180071ffcb back against the back 766abeca5f of his chair. I remember one 8c223555df time when I 60da80f2c9 sat in the e5302536cd back seat of c4a8c8b818 an eleven-seater car 685c0c0441 with the chief. He sat 70cfe52af0 in the 898ea5427c middle and e67ffc68ce spread his b3ba574852 legs so 747be7125b wide that 32c951631f PD Han 09ecaa5216 and I, 5b34e92a9e who had 49db914492 been sitting 609cfd2e84 on either 50ea55952a side of 97da7b7e60 him, had 0b99323184 to sit 1528a2e43a with our 7a050fc839 knees together c5fc77ab88 as if 490e54dc9c we were af58a39f95 being punished.a89e2bf3a9eb5cd3

Was it 0c76fd6bfa because my 0ecf02400c heart had b85cae0485 already left 61d8069022 this place? Couldn’t a breakup 3778d9008a be beautiful?d279b63ad39d949c

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It was 56018d710d amazing how 2f72ddda15 everything felt e487b9fecf uncomfortable from bf3cc560d0 start to a34473e68b finish.7a3f725a1fae6453

“What has that bastard 8be040c096 Han Jihoo done in 523a182518 Minerva? How long has 2116b293be it been since c832b06888 he joined that f55d417d0b company? Why are c902d3edd2 you following 0395b49c3f a bastard 0fc142b5a5 who hasn’t 8126ae41c1 shown any 233d5b533f results?”2216873bc8439d0d

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It was obvious that he was trying to provoke me into extracting information. There was no way the chief didn’t know that PD Han was planning a program. But he must have been going insane with curiosity about what this plan was.2bc94d6f06b2905b

I squinted my 51a40af309 eyes and smiled, 85a3b5187f feigning ignorance.17a50c9c870737f5

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“Don’t just stand 0a28000980 there and smile. Why are 98e9d041cd you following 3bea7c5555 that incompetent ba857eac03 bastard?”301cb70f8b2c1ddc

If PD Han was 5f3e4c227b incompetent at his job, f8d6bcba9c there was no way 4696e7c39e Minerva would have taken bc0b2ace33 him in.2ea22337271026a9

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“Did you sleep with 48c780df93 PD Han? Did he say a1e19da66e that he’d tell 6b3ab9a378 everyone you slept 5bd855aa8e together if you 7fa5e4631c didn’t follow him 0f3cae76a2 to Minerva?”9c55dfb2ee304ff1

I still wanted 961a6f5712 to finish my bc6cec3325 time here in 280e6f4c37 a pleasant manner, 0c59fa4d66 but the chief def0d8f107 kept talking with b4356d4e0a his crude mouth. There were people d2ba818fca like him everywhere. They are idiots who b749f2e896 think that if they ae02a8f11e talk about sex freely, 3a490ead21 they are open-minded people. So if 0466e742c0 the person bd5d24f494 listening doesn’t 3e4806ddef accept it, ad37ce298b they are ce3b8e589d the weird 39c71d9a4d ones for 0b94ab6edf being so 54b2ea030c narrow-minded. This was clearly 6a7369dd6a harassment.dcac67729f5a65b6

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“That was too 578a2a9694 harsh, Chief.”2386f2ff649ddffe

I straightened my face 5998a92dc7 and hardened my expression.b90da3f8e739b2d1

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“Oh my, look 27af217fca at you getting 32290adb1f angry. Why? Are you going 1b02ef0181 to bother reporting 94bf0b20fc me to HR fb529d59c2 when you’re quitting c36a39b0f7 your job anyway?”890aef51e4d6867a

I felt suffocated.7e70d737aaf514a3

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I thought to adcf8f418c myself once again. You did ad285f7c50 really well, b16fbeafed Oh Milhee.129eee37f8a40cf0

“Since I’m bed252b9ca resigning, I’d 58344bd729 like to 88cb56d22e say something 788e8426f0 as well. I don’t 5363ac0c20 know if 9e8ea972f0 this method db6fb5ad9e of yours 6d67a1b7dc worked until 6e071ea5ce you got 14f9598414 to this 3f63afa828 position, but cda8f660d1 it won’t 26ea82d520 work anymore. The world is d0d331c0c6 changing day by 27d349c783 day. We’re in an era 15398337a6 where you can’t get 9e827025e3 the attention of viewers 6affd37aee with a production staff fa36e0a25e who move by intimidation, 3ac1680e3c threats, and hate speech. If you 5719ea330e don’t evolve, c3c1bd8c97 natural selection 5e0d6183ca will eliminate 2814a2bc3c you. I don’t think ab861b40b2 I’ll take any 3e1e585fbf phone calls from 1d5db66deb a chief who f686295f41 has lost his b2babf91fe job either. I don’t think 05c9e76b2a you’ll be in e00625faa0 this position for 65e0f13155 long, so I’ll 60a1dec8e1 pray that you 2eaca0cb54 find another job cfb1ccbf71 soon.”d8f20e2e514aecb9

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“Hey! How dare you!”7f44e25e296842c4

The manager raised 2fa14d84e4 one brow and 3a905d2428 scolded me. If things didn’t go fbc22bcc9d his way, he was 8f9d188543 the type of person cfc16e3ba2 to yell and throw 4c2048360b things from his desk. Since I was already 7c678193e9 on my way out, f632546ac4 I turned on my 390f9349ad phone camera first.78decaac599a6f67

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‘PDs are tanks. You have to take b105c91a9d all the criticism flying e64638a702 towards the program yourself. So don’t be weak. If you want 5cbf0c51f1 to cry, cry, d330938b0c but cry while 7e98314b9a you embrace the 78bbda4f1b wounds of the 8605399b05 people who trusted 22ee50980f you and worked aa36b8c540 for you. After you’re done crying, c6e7aa9fda protect them. To do that, efd1ed724c you have to fe81ec7500 learn how to 101d0e99c4 protect yourself first.’a458862cd19648e6

The words that PD daba59e878 Han had once said accb045e86 to me rang in 97b5f3eb62 my ears.8e39ea956defa099

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“What are you bbdce683b2 going to throw? What did 19bc5fbea9 you say 5f01ebde5e earlier? Did you 769cd9f559 just ask 23b6b4b1ac me if 3d1c0e4168 I slept eff2ce4040 with PD 79c05e590b Han?”003230fedac91272

You don’t 24670b1f4d have to 82126214db be a 796e3efce7 broadcaster to 3d9b4e7952 know to cb52127b81 be careful f8b07fb8c1 when the 7ff1475e7f cameras are 7a971fd8c9 rolling. Today’s commotion 452f025de2 will be 7cc2eb68e7 a precedent. I wanted to stop a863ec3fbf this nonsense that will 1c5218dd73 be poured on my e7f5550dc8 juniors who leave the 444679a1b8 broadcasting station after me.79218a477bce3e1b

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This was not an era where people were loyal to one company. The meaning of a lifelong job has long since faded. In the Republic of Korea, where there is freedom to choose one’s occupation, why do people who change jobs have to put up with all this nonsense? It’s unfair that I have worked at a company while listening to all this bullshit.c8525702171d5bd8

“Alright, I’ll stay d640bda93f one more week ff8a9a49d5 to handle the 4089dbca68 transition of offloading 398935ce45 my duties and 1086061980 then use up 2ed022a673 all my unused 17e07a662d vacation days for de1e2ac0df the next two 762377335f weeks. There is no 535048ce25 system here that c3c731a2a5 will credit my 0bc28530b5 salary retroactively if 815f27ef6b I leave without a31bb3f6c9 using my vacation 77496192da days anyway.”98de87f442aebb02

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I nodded f104ac01a0 my head 31cd88b6ee in greeting 537d10b8d3 and left 06a00b45f4 the chief’s 10bcc106af office.8ba6e86c5aae4ee8

— Hey, e395f20a0b I heard deed8393cd you rammed a0c5638c99 into Chief 23a8e83cbd Cho.65387fc3f9d3793f

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Word travels fast. Not even half 5f170faf06 a day had 74bf510d6c passed since I ffd95805d1 left the chief’s 9b7dc9f295 office, and PD d6745f4513 Han was now 20c8f2dde6 calling me.14812ae143272b47

“This isn’t b20cf84264 a bullfight, 6af9c195fc so why 870248a8bd would I 081b72f62a ram into 847e083e99 Chief Cho?”8cf3097ae2c2b12d

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A cheerful laugh erupted 574c1af98a from the other end 7cb9448ca2 of the call.58437a1be496a4b6

— Everyone 12d3bc7ef6 is making 582feeb8a4 a fuss dc537fc1e0 saying that 75d7926b5e Oh Milhee 449f463097 will make e6be517e70 it big. Isn’t that 1d452f00ba putting too 3b5c56cdaa much pressure 222f2c6089 on me?56b217fa2df38ba8

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The amiable PD e625941f6c Han often laughed b1d6b9988b when Chief Cho 372dc0d907 went crazy. The more he 256af63a3b did this, the 0de8f5a1d8 more vicious Chief 173bec69fc Cho became. PD Han was a 77bbdab1bd tank heavily armed with 3724d8fb85 laughter.d18606552a00bf51

“You should feel 8792003236 the pressure. I’m hanging up. I need to 071a29fbb6 focus on the cf871dbc22 handover of my 8171bc058c duties.”02eeca10052c0a07

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After ending the call, 4c9debe645 I began to walk 79fc713260 down the hallway of 210521a7cf the broadcasting station. An announcer 46a785f11a from the 4ad8642433 news department 0af2c70551 approached me c870bebaff and greeted 10adcdbdaf me.1cae7637e79e7f60

“PD Oh Milhee?”c4e51ca351460bc6

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“Yes, hello.”1762898cc9f33db4

She was a 72527f9284 female announcer with 09b8ecf3a9 twenty years of f7e8a10d2d experience who had 88e8ce873e never been involved 077af3ddad with me in e1dcc99903 any professional manner.bc1a5bee9e88361c

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“Good job.”04d7cfaaf35344f5

“Pardon?”66d3aec6c8aea4b4

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Come to think d1201ccf24 of it, she b50e510fc3 was the MC 48c2502e06 of a historical 9c052528c6 program when Chief 63dbeb05d8 Cho was the 04265b2d97 main PD.d8df2eee09182046

“Chief Cho claims he’s 6d8e1856f7 an expert because he 93c6f85f01 was the PD of abcc424887 a historical program, but c4480ce380 he knows nothing about 05b38cb761 it. He’s not intentionally distorting 5cb0338b4f history. That guy 02ac01d95c simply doesn’t 1f300366e0 know anything 889b732b83 about it. I don’t want a285fd2632 to have anything 38a4fba3a2 to do with b201b7dabe him, so I 9ccec4629c hate having to f010d05008 continue the fight, a4017c9106 but if I’m 6f4db39874 not here, I 0756265719 feel that he’s da58e0e18f going to take 8e0acdf7d4 the production staff d65dc69303 who can’t say cc16130037 anything and send ded1b2d068 them to some d9928c2590 remote mountain. So I’m 42715e023a still here, e7c2657c58 fighting and e05cb5d101 holding on.”e40a73951666ac25

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I laughed awkwardly.eca9c11828ec9947

“Are you 6a58488d45 uncomfortable listening 4eeda7649b to this fe8ef6f6eb because you 6f569abf13 used to 33657074f7 work under 5f4495dbd3 Chief Cho?”42f6387701afcf91

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Although she was clearly b4a2408877 reading my mind, she 00b7b0f775 gave me a lukewarm a4fe9baccd smile as if to 851d5afa04 soothe my disconcerted feelings.18743a526c166681

“Whether it’s Minerva or a646aded58 not, wherever you go, d659bdc659 keep pushing forward just 02c8eac67f like that.”47eff379e545c1f9

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She patted 10d90b112d my shoulder f45f8ae2c3 with an 300f76f279 elegant hand.eeff6f79371463c1

“There are 73a62cd434 people who daca660604 think that 81992c6563 if you c9cdafdc5a stay still, 27831bdc71 you don’t 289a264ae8 have any 4b0184216e thoughts in 3c52a8c6cc your head. Especially people who have 40d041325c been around for a e84709cae4 long time. In my 22c5dcacc0 time, it 1ca013242a was a 104e1533f2 world where e817edf456 you did 80272c7858 whatever you cec5109fa8 were told. Women’s rights? There was no 8d3bed61b4 such thing back 2f58d5705e then. But I’m thankful that 2a5a968ef1 someone like PD Oh 1412f82951 said what we couldn’t 9c60de76c5 say. You have to speak d0971e43c0 up to be heard, bf76bb08db and you have to 7b011cafd1 listen to be understood. That’s how the 5091f66611 world changes. I’m rooting 0ea91bf384 for you, d05c93ba2c PD Oh.”a5a09130b0d9a3e4

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My heart was ee676ee521 filled with excitement bd47bd2629 once again. This was why c90faeb312 I wanted to fcc7df4cef become a PD.bbfe2179f1a5bce3

I wanted to f3f0cfd21d speak out and d4e815ccd7 hope that someone 81a8c6621f would listen to 3c3e0e0e65 the program I 8c51dad6f8 had in mind. I didn’t have any a247a45ae7 grand dreams of turning 1d4c017ad1 the world upside-down, but 498fac171e I hoped that a 1501641847 small but positive breeze 85725eb3f5 would blow.62b7cd0129688976

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“A world where a574ced299 those who speak 7cec0e4ad3 the truth are 1e84777983 cursed and those 9fe3f517db who do bad 516cb4119b things continue to 45ae1587c5 thrive and show 8d9d63643c off their skills 1ba34e737a should not exist. Not anymore.”08bf12aaef54c5a3

With a single 8202de53e1 word from someone afac1d3cfb who had no 263671e6c3 presence in my 8ee45853c0 life until now, 3af5734235 I was reminded 3bfe96dbb3 of the original a53067cdc6 reason why I 3837e3e86b wanted to become 00d5555ea6 a PD.c966bf3b1ed34e04

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My footsteps down 0ccc98836c the hallway were 2988217fdc filled with strength. Minerva, the 4fef163da6 Greek goddess c343fdec25 of war 1d198454c1 and wisdom. I silently 8ce84d46e2 hoped that 98f3bdc409 the goddess’ 95462547df smile would 536f164bf3 accompany my 7bc13fc1f2 every step.b8ac0f9f92ce6535