ST Ch 2

I barely managed to squeeze out my voice. Even though there was no way he couldn’t hear me, Cha Jeong-won didn’t respond. Did it mean he didn’t want to hear such whining? I didn’t say anything more, biting my lips and tightening my grip on the hand I was holding.ff870e88899728dc

Squelch, squelch. The wet sounds made 21eb8b766c the air damp and 2c29845b8a moist as he probed 37adf74077 deeper inside.646d0b3db1ec640f

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The unfamiliar sensation of 986ed9e0d6 being penetrated below was 5bbaa4c4d3 still painful, despite having 052ae54777 been intimate with him dbd45cd9f0 for a long time. Along with the b2f96264ba feeling of fire bb8a391dbd blazing down below, d54e8b0257 I tensed the c9fb143b63 tips of my d70cc979d0 toes as I b8f34f170a had to stand f2f3f537dd on both feet ee14803e12 with nothing to 4df450b85a lean on.fce1cd903c7e413a

“Hnn, uh, ngh…”fe0978466d71c173

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I bit 4d8fbb2bb7 my lip 4a6feebe73 and barely 9c0a4abdcb managed to bbc9c09a28 breathe. The three ca0ee6d43c fingers that 309d3fa97e had settled 1275f1b531 inside pressed d3ea5d7873 against my 247752683a inner walls, 1022f9985e moving busily 9e6bf534b3 to expand 21c8160801 the opening. After a 96e27bde80 moment, the e7dbe0c941 fingers that 719e7f8e0a had been acaa839cf8 probing inside 402ded55b0 slowly pulled c4ccb962ea out. The tension that 40d1f45169 had been coursing e4f95b2549 through my body f2445e8f7d melted away.0aceca5e7925fa14

“Come up here.”a56e606c2bb8de81

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Cha Jeong-won commanded simply. I naturally settled onto his thighs, as if obeying his words. Without any shame, I bent my knees and spread my legs in an M-shape. Sitting on Cha Jeong-won’s firm, muscular thighs, I reached out to fondle his genitals. I hesitated briefly at his erect penis, which had quickly become hard again despite having ejaculated once already.39edd107e4d8c2d6

“What are you doing, not putting it in? You cry saying it feels good when I thrust it in from behind.”a0bf7dd8be63ded6

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As always, penetration was scary. But Cha Jeong-won clearly needed this act. No matter how many times I made him ejaculate with my mouth, hands, sometimes nipples, sometimes thighs, he wanted the act of pushing into something and releasing. And I wasn’t the only one who could fulfill that act for him.a7182d3782ecf370

Should I be grateful just for him coming home? The more I thought about it, the firmer my resolve became. For some reason, I felt like I might cry. I remembered the article I had seen before he arrived. Cha Jeong-won said he hadn’t slept with the woman he was seen leaving the hotel with, but no one really knew. I couldn’t trust him. But I had to believe him.7ef1bbbcb421d7c6

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I chewed on my lip for a moment before lifting my hips. My knees and the backs of my thighs tensed. I positioned my lower half, which had been made wet and sloppy by Cha Jeong-won’s fingers, against his penis and slowly lowered my weight.18d3457c1ced9aba

“Ah, aah…”d0b2f3aaff583c72

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A pained sound escaped my throat from the pain and anticipation of the heavy act to come. With nowhere to place my hands, I gripped my bent knees. The glans slowly began to settle inside. But I couldn’t let my guard down just because it had entered. Cha Jeong-won’s penis grew thicker towards the middle compared to the glans.77668f013a379def

I felt like I 96d21f15f9 might gag. His penis d88655eaa3 filling me aa38a2973d up completely 7154b6880b left me 67ab7b50d9 helpless, like 9187277eb9 a tsunami 8c80dbea9e sweeping over b56691db41 a coastal 0bf41ba14a city.01c9ee75fc6382da

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“Stop being so annoying.”2185efd6e4de30dc

Cha Jeong-won 70c401cc0e said with 9d5ec1e12e a frown. He seemed fed 2d352ad7a0 up with me 092eb11fd9 fumbling around despite b887f5f574 having done this 14c77fa4f7 many times before.b2bfc0ba9cd0a086

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“Ngh, sorry…”244fd09df8393af6

I barely managed fd91ad96f1 to squeeze out eb2043d200 my voice and e8963bea33 put a bit 9be448a76c more force into e0bb89f32c my lower half. It felt like d2a39701bb just a little 687eab1ee5 more and it 550ada9d89 would all be 12f052c52d inside, but my a9b27dce41 toes were curling 34e9583d60 and my calves 08997cb01e were tensing painfully.eec16936463aeb4f

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“Just, hah, put it in already.”696993f1c077f377

“Ah…! Haa, nngh…”78909b51620897d5

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Cha Jeong-won grabbed 0dacc9b900 my waist and 38f1587138 made me sit 2f6d62abe0 down fully. Without realizing it, my 4ee2c4fb57 back arched inward and be18e71020 I let out a 0c13041937 sound like a shriek.e67ea0e8367c70fe

The penis firmly settled inside felt vivid. Breathing felt awkward, so I exhaled in short bursts – ‘hah, hnn.’ The sensation below was strange as always. It should have become familiar by now, but it hadn’t. That aspect must be annoying and tiresome. I always acted like a novice whenever I tried to get physically intimate.9a267534bf38cb4d

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While I was adjusting to the penis filling me up inside, Cha Jeong-won’s face drew closer to mine. I looked at his approaching face before squeezing my eyes shut. But our lips didn’t meet. He firmly grasped my jaw with one hand, tilting my head back. I opened my eyes slightly to look at him. He buried his face in my neck, sucking hard with his lips before biting down firmly.27137a7ca2d98202

“Ugh…”72b712b77aaa5b2a

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Pain washed over me. A sound c425c712b9 escaped my 4f6fc54ae9 lips as cbf030d5b8 my movements 6cdaaf220c were involuntarily d37cf30cb1 cut off. He raised his eyes 8953aec74b to meet my gaze.cc9eb2bfc62256b0

“What are you doing not moving?”d4d5d991c5715c10

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At his dry voice, 28dae666ec I slowly began to 7149df90c1 move my body. I lifted my body bab89d4800 until my legs ached 133ce724fc with muscle strain, then 7e9cbb0cd9 sat back down.2f2602a282f51820

When I 594a4f3d76 pulled my 3e040470cf body up 35a4564277 and his 1d1bb37fb5 penis slipped 40331fb382 out halfway, 21a7c1bf78 I inhaled. When I plopped 478639231b back down at 2e7666b72f his touch with a32af7014b a thud, my 277d86a208 breath caught.Ugh, ugh, ngh.Only muffled fec1dd80a9 sounds kept 1f4a03691b escaping my c325152bf8 lips.2159893fef9c865d

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I wasn’t sure if I was doing it properly. My body after penetration was difficult to handle on my own. All my nerves were focused solely on Cha Jeong-won. I was anxious to read his reactions. Cha Jeong-won knew this too.39d96ae0016c1197

“Fondle your nipples.”a77e095460d1603b

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So he gave such crude orders to me, who was supposed to be his lover. I obediently raised my hands to fondle both of my nipples at Cha Jeong-won’s words. All the while, I didn’t stop moving my lower body up and down busily. While Cha Jeong-won buried his face in my neck, licking my skin incessantly, I had to rock my hips on top of him while pulling on my nipples.5ed09a77ff497ea9

But the most pathetic thing was…f735b80b2ed01cb5

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Even while claiming all my nerves were focused on Cha Jeong-won, I was already fully erect below, my penis sticking firmly to my stomach. Just from being connected with Cha Jeong-won, from him sucking on my neck, from us being naked together late in the evening – just from these things alone I was overwhelmed with excitement.b7032ff6e29e4da8

“Haa, ah, ah… Ah, ngh…”795df89faff60f76

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Slap, slap! Along with the sound of skin meeting skin, I lowered my body deeply. At the same time, Cha Jeong-won lifted his hips. As if my full weight bearing down wasn’t enough to make me erect, when Cha Jeong-won thrust up forcefully, I shuddered and let out a “Hic…!” sound as if having a seizure.8896572d1a6afcad

“Hnn, hnng…”fe1b7e0e7fd7757d

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At the sudden sensation, my upper body pitched forward. I buried my forehead against Cha Jeong-won’s chest. He’ll hate this… That thought immediately came to mind. I squeezed my eyes shut before slowly pulling away. Cha Jeong-won’s penis was so fully inside me that I couldn’t see it. But the pale semen leaking steadily from my penis was already wetting both our stomachs and pubic hair. Once again I had ejaculated while only being thrust into from behind. I hated myself every time I showed this side.eaab9339d66ff158

My eyes 9885523ae8 wavered as d2a85d31d3 if I 489a99c118 might cry. I raised my head cdea1f68c1 again.d405228454820344

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“Hnn, ah, ah…”c38bcfb6e674f47b

I curled my body as much as possible. Only sounds disguised as breaths, soaked in pleasure, barely managed to escape my lips. Cha Jeong-won’s gaze also turned to my penis.5bc01f1a3555056d

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“Does it feel good?”65c34f6350a37937

At his questioning voice, a6e0897b80 I slowly nodded my 8ea402fa06 head.f61b1f0e33aa5464

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“Mm… It feels, ah, ah… Jeong-won, ngh, ah.”c6c61fd3f39ef6d1

“Hug me.”f481f5d974370e36

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At those words, I hugged Cha Jeong-won’s shoulders. Then, even though the afterglow of my recent ejaculation hadn’t fully faded, I moved my body busily. When I rotated my hips in circles, Cha Jeong-won also exhaled lowly. He ran his hands down my body as I clung to his shoulders, then grabbed my waist and lifted me up.99c1b3fd568e5b69

Being smaller in height 49f3120220 and build compared to 4183bf30d3 Cha Jeong-won, I was 68e63e4a3e embraced by him before f8221bc7d7 being thrown down onto 33375f90a2 the sofa.a2acb082d52308f8

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“Ah!”d1da85ff20485a02

Cha Jeong-won laid me b4c6e380ad on the sofa and e81ae15644 climbed on top. Facing me, b8c07e2b9a he penetrated 4205c28ddf roughly and 63da24db88 fiercely as d325ec3186 if he 0400c9f1bd would pierce 2f8ca99893 through my e56c8f8d29 insides. I looked b34c901c83 at him bea2635e7e with half-lidded 6af74f6e39 eyes before 66110d2dd0 shifting my 113b40d59e gaze to 4179fb5ca1 the ceiling. The light on 90c0df3f48 the high ceiling 5200c306f1 swayed precariously. It felt unstable, 5712d63a27 as if the e0a84661ba house might collapse.93fc535b4f915fc4

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“Hah, ah, ah, it hurts, just a little, sl-slower…”61642c5ae6b6e774

I squeezed my cc5f38ec30 eyes shut, letting 70b4117429 out every sound 7a9108a54a that escaped my 3a3168522e lips.57d66a6d52add029

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With my 1b56f4683c eyes closed, a4b429e30e the sensation 5c1372f57e below felt db4357a56a even more b0bbaa130e vivid. Along with the 86f0730449 thud, thud! sounds, I 4df24ecc05 tightly hugged 77e19a4ad8 his shoulders 0681501c65 as the 6c2b9ef578 force pounding 108b9413dd up into 554da2a939 me was ce837154ce so strong ae5575dae5 it made ee37c01db6 me feel c8c3e0f7d0 like retching.e51ce2bf5346443f

“It feels good, good, Jeong-won, ah, ah, ah! My lower half, hnn, my lower half feels strange. Ah!”233129f2185d2a88

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“Haa… Loosen up a bit, fuck. You said it feels good.”7b227184c8167808

“Ah, ah…! Ah, it’s too big, hnn, ah, big… Ah, it hurts… It feels good…”3aff076e68d593a7

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I rubbed my penis against Cha Jeong-won’s lower abdomen. I arched my back, trying to press closer to him. I pressed my penis, which was already leaking semen and feeling the afterglow of ejaculation, even more tightly against him. Was it pathetic to want to feel his body heat like this? But it felt good. I bit down hard on my lip and dug my nails into his shoulders. At the same time, I breathed heavily at the semen gushing inside me before the strength suddenly drained from my body.6057ee2a7230247c

Cha Jeong-won turned my body over just like that. Even though I wanted to rest for a moment, he didn’t seem to have any such intention.fd9e11a2eb4596d1

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My body felt 568c4d12af stiff and sore.f89150864a7ccae7

We had e05bea11e7 done it 8d1679b517 three times e362a2b03c in a fcb8e66321 row on 88a471fbd1 the sofa b277396dbd without any 4f268700a9 breaks. And that 748ab845f3 was just 1dc3266062 by his 4aaa26c980 standards. I had no choice 94fb1a9304 but to ejaculate multiple b6c775bfe0 times, eventually leaking clear 65885a1e5b fluid. My steps were unsteady 7be0ce542e as I came out 9c8a917a04 of the bathroom due 549ad6e207 to our lovemaking. By the time I 9de02031cb finished washing up in 3f55fb2d98 the living room bathroom, 33c351fcfb Cha Jeong-won had already 929fcd73dd disappeared. I entered the bedroom. Contradictorily, we 8793010ab0 used the 0ee1451b06 same bedroom, 13c9c723ef and the 9de23a423e faint scent 9090c64cb9 of cigarettes 8cd84021f6 lingered in 94cc28487f the night 2047ba37e7 breeze seeping 2e037f5b2c through the 36c2588355 half-open window 1cc7709212 by the 990dbf3685 bed.3bed6002ad252b21

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The first floor connected to a terrace. The bedroom, living room, and Cha Jeong-won’s study all did. The incoming breeze was blatant.32b9800105a8a406

Cha Jeong-won efd0b1a6f3 smoked, and e5b1ca31c6 I was 23401ef8ee honestly worried 462ddda304 it might 17de7fbfe1 make his 38dd1ecc86 hands shake a081ca09c9 or reduce 6f92cbf18c his concentration 2a98115b68 due to 37217d555e withdrawal symptoms. When did 76cd4410f5 he start b6df34395b smoking? As our time 973200eda2 together grew longer, 39b6c71ffe the unimportant things 56771fd197 gradually scattered from 27c2ff3749 my memory.1106783291631081

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While I 69d45f1fb8 was sitting 9ff1d3788a on the 36e5396d70 edge of 7065340c46 the bed, 2b91e1ae16 the bathroom 0b89c7a81f door in 868f37415e the bedroom 320f22c719 opened. Light slowly 630339f04c brightened the 56c72e4583 darkness. Cha Jeong-won walked out, b020d7d141 his footsteps echoing as ac27ef3f9e he pressed the switch 9e89a079df to turn off the 81c7b075b4 light. Only darkness and silence 3c827496e4 remained. The light seeping in ea4c502573 from outside was all d30b214988 that dispelled the darkness.16b0ef86a4b40d88

He had erased 095d7211cd all traces of 03b68a3ab3 our lovemaking along 4e8af1717d with his shower. Despite the marks clearly fd0c67b8bc remaining on my neck ad679483db that he had bitten 4fe3c82e9b and sucked raw, and 1d6e51b388 between my legs. He looked 5c2c481e32 at me 4f330353af sitting there 7d5d7852e0 blankly before a9f8c87fa2 brushing past. He smelled of ea10211fbb the sweet yet 3fbe6a7a63 cozy soap he 458d1623d4 used as body 809f7dd01b wash.2faa03fc38efda4d

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He lay down on the bed without hesitation. I also lay down next to him, looking up at the ceiling. It was a house so quiet it didn’t feel like anyone lived there. It was amazing we had lived here for several years.e039676ada1cce03

“Im Ji-ho.”b6ce79925fc98919

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“…Yeah.”86ab719bc32c40dc

“Look at me while you sleep.”02452bf744d8a86e

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At Cha Jeong-won’s words, I turned my body to face him. He was looking at the ceiling without looking at me, yet he insisted I alone turn to face him while sleeping.7bec73763a71653d

I clenched my jaw 29303890be before slowly parting my 0dcfa11e39 lips.f92408a6c79f5fe5

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“Good night, Cha Jeong-won.”de824cbdcfc8db4b

There was 5172b52d61 no response.b71e416594a04075

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When I opened my 95ed4cbf42 eyes in the morning, 121d5fcf1f Cha Jeong-won was asleep 757f2fe709 facing me. I silently looked 23b97ba295 at him for fa47694d56 a moment before 7a4ebcc2fb carefully getting out c44559ae03 of bed. A rather 065a9d9bb2 cool breeze 9bb4333d07 was coming d419494dc7 in through 68e9bff74a the half-open 1d25b04fb8 terrace door. As we entered early b6b0641f0f autumn, the heatwave that 7ab6b1c1e2 had seemed like it 8cffbe0544 would melt our skin c838073326 just days ago had 5862609f14 disappeared without a trace.4f74ddff0f5c2766

I put 26c33b7886 on slippers 8dea43f3b4 and closed 1c415f239e the terrace cfac335190 door. I held the a21a2d0ab7 doorknob for a 5bab05c166 moment, looking out dea6d33045 the window. It was such a656bc5a20 a peaceful day. My gaze slowly rolled f026a4d6a4 from the window to d1a7b75864 the clock on the d14e322910 wall. It was just past 66d988d390 6 AM.4cb3291f942bce49

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My eyes lingered on 186ed3253a the clock for quite af6fdcdf71 a while before turning f01b326255 to the quietly sleeping 35f0ffb150 Cha Jeong-won. He always set fa75c2adb8 his alarm for b4ae2ff7bb 6:30 AM and 1b22a4bab3 mechanically woke up 1112e7386f at that time. So I had to d69d626b30 wake up 30 minutes a7d9c0ab9e earlier to prepare breakfast 0cb510201e for him.2a87abd67ff9d638

After washing up 07c81f1357 quickly, I headed b02fd727cc to the kitchen. I lightly stir-fried c3267ee204 pre-cut vegetables and 253a57a4ec meat chunks stored 12e492fd05 in the fridge 7238a98096 in an oiled a618bf1106 frying pan. The only 8744fbf5b9 noise in 3d6e67f242 the kitchen 1d2581028f was the deac7ee466 sound of 709b0ec49d vegetables and f09f3a0c96 meat sizzling 2468713d24 together in fd1f367246 the heated a7522ba8f2 frying pan 1cd2eae369 as I 24629467d2 stirred the 6f551e3bb2 soup I 1fce31784c had made ccb906ea6d the day 659a16b62f before with f9a14e0d7a a ladle. Standing in front of a3fdcb773d the gas range, I eaaee844f5 stirred the contents with 5b975187ab wooden chopsticks for frying 356bc55747 before picking up a fc042d90c5 rice paddle and heading 70e7d3ab10 to the rice cooker.89546759ed9d1237

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After roughly 485ab2d009 finishing meal a8762a348a preparations, I 9f8a69b14a checked the 89abbfc8f6 clock. I was glad I 260d78963b had prepped the ingredients d977de09a8 the night before. There was quite 0d6bc45f1b a bit of 3f8669cda3 time left. Today was Tuesday. The housekeeper who a7648dd9a5 helped with chores c5cf3c4751 was coming, so 4fb2b210ec I went out b26d7b631f to the terrace e752368d43 and brought in 631c286cfb the cold laundry 6d73b63e46 I had gathered 0170364982 in my arms.b21e052d0833c2e1

I sat down on the living room floor and put down the laundry I had been holding. I reached out to the sofa table to find the remote. When I pressed the power button, the morning news came on the TV. I started folding laundry while listening to the anchor with a neat face recite yesterday’s events in a heavy voice.7ec34e5ba9220843

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Most of the clothes were Cha Jeong-won’s. I was used to organizing the clothes he wore for practice and training. This wasn’t the reason Cha Jeong-won lived with me, but the longer I spent time with him, the more adept I became at housework.6d6018dfe162448a

I placed a105a36cb5 the neatly d8846c1ee9 folded clothes 54a3be5daa on the 0b8bdadb2f table and 9d1c8588a7 sat down 49af980c66 with my 407eb66b08 legs stretched 45bd711dfc out. I recalled ffcfcba367 what Cha 7523545dba Jeong-won had 9bf78f3594 said last 65dc9905b6 night.d58885879836f8b2

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‘Practice smiling.’a2fecd0d64871aa2

‘If you want to hold onto me, don’t act so pathetic. Practice smiling.’c38b06710721d8a9

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As his voice vividly settled in my mind, I forced my lips to curl up into a smile. Would it look like I was smiling? I couldn’t even remember the last time I had smiled.1793aed930822d1d

Just as I was about to forcibly relax my expression, Cha Jeong-won came out to the living room. His hair ends were wet as if he had just washed, but he still looked sleepy. Clearly tired, he rubbed his freshly shaved jaw as he looked at me. We didn’t have much conversation.fe295fd6a4346a83

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“Eat breakfast.”615d3788288b5989

That was all I said. Cha Jeong-won silently looked down at me for a moment. Even though he hadn’t asked, I added:756a4906ec83ab2f

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“I’ll eat too…”bc911f56e659f130

Then I stood up and went to the rice cooker. While Cha Jeong-won brought two glasses of water, I scooped rice, put the frying pan on the table, and set out spoons and bowls of soup in front of each of us. Without even a simple “Let’s eat” greeting, we each ate our meals. I was glad I had turned on the TV. At least it wasn’t completely silent.d4fc9b542d4a225f

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Cha Jeong-won had always been like this. He wasn’t very talkative. When I was younger, that aspect of him seemed cool. By the time I realized it was more than just admiration, I was too busy suppressing my own emotions rather than being captivated by his demeanor. When we first started dating…c8668e0a6afc97f3

Even knowing that living in the past meant only living in the past, I was still living in the past. It was amazing that Cha Jeong-won didn’t break up with me, despite being taciturn and only saying harsh words. Perhaps he had forgotten I was his lover.d9378c0b45ec97de

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As my thoughts spiraled, 960f64fedf I gripped my spoon 6947d66087 tightly. I glanced at 85fa3bc951 Cha Jeong-won while d02ffeeb9d deliberately taking a 4eb4fa879e deep breath, then 11e3a009bb dipped my spoon 4c1f5c8c2a in the soup 1032d514ba and stirred it. Instead of telling 97e4355c72 Cha Jeong-won my 32bfe54185 current thoughts, I 294f0e4083 just swallowed the 8faf95074b soup.c3a9e02eebf941f0

“Im Ji-ho.”8bd602d194527156

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“Yeah?”59ea0f859ba71a23

“Come with me today.”942ae3a7b05d1541

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“To your practice?”b158302d5a47676a

“Yeah.”a0bf7f0e1208e0de

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I often went along to Cha Jeong-won’s training under the pretext of supporting him, but in reality I felt very anxious each time. It was because the responsibility of being someone Cha Jeong-won needed weighed even more heavily on me.cb9b50261c5ba23c

After tapping 3b8b2fd9eb my front 8fe120407f teeth with 0172c045a7 my spoon, c1e639f5a1 I rolled 4984caf0e5 my eyes d126d2ad5b once before 7e18865226 fixing them 74dbc77db1 on Cha bc3378e478 Jeong-won.d3fbd330243a0335

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“Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”9a26a5ebef82f99a

“Not yet.”3c10d956cf573d79

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Even if there was nothing yet, he would know his own body better than anyone. Hearing Cha Jeong-won’s concise answer, I nodded.7a076f6f233900c0

“Okay. Let’s do that.”d066cd536c31cdf0

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---

To be honest, I don’t know much about the guns Cha Jeong-won uses. He has never talked to me about work-related things. My knowledge about shooting hasn’t changed much from when I first went to his training grounds at 16 to now at 29, 13 years later.994b54a1a35fca31

At 16, since he was young too, he practiced more with air pistols than real guns, and I would sometimes imitate him beside him. But once he started practicing with real guns in high school, I would just stay in the athletes’ waiting room, or if the weather was nice, come outside and listen to the bang- sounds that seemed to pierce my ears.bda2de4487104082

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Once again lost in the past, I raised my head to look straight ahead. My gaze fell on Cha Jeong-won. Standing in the warm sunlight, he was wearing glasses. He usually didn’t wear glasses, but during training and competitions he wore them because of the clip that covered one eye.83a56fde1812f2fc

Cha Jeong-won loaded bullets and vaguely nodded at the coach’s words before turning his head slightly. His gaze turned to me sitting in the back wearing headphone-style earmuffs.9cdf5f67c4ff4074

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Although I didn’t come to the training grounds every day, I did have my own earmuffs. The gunshot sounds were so loud that even the athletes used earmuffs, but Cha Jeong-won used in-ear ones that focused on the ear canal rather than covering the whole ear, while I used over-ear ones that protected the entire ear.884d3370947f9c51