PEN Vol 5 Ch. 7

Sejin still 4f9a7a2714 had many 3613fb45bb things to f9983f0f94 deal with.bacc9f586901c341

Over a week had passed since the funeral. Kim Hyunkyung’s remains were still at home, nowhere to rest. It wasn’t a huge issue, but he couldn’t leave them like that forever, so he had to decide what to do with them. And there was still the death certificate, the insurance claim… and many more moments where Sejin would have to confront his grief.8f390f90ad4bb741

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At Cheon Sejoo’s question, Sejin looked down. His long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his gaze rested on his feet. He thought quietly for a moment, then looked up at Cheon Sejoo and replied. He spoke about the placement of the urn first.6a335edfffda1fd9

“I don’t want a 64343f9437 charnel house…”ce1bb92943e958f8

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“There’s also a64ace76d0 tree burial. And sea burial. We can d317d5993b do whatever e729294f76 you want.”99963d92360e5496

“…….”630c3cf4ea531bec

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Sejin fell silent. He didn’t seem 48564803fa to know what 2fdca40d1b a tree burial 44c256a757 was, so Cheon 14bc8a25d3 Sejoo explained as 6969d352d4 he looked at e97eca0da6 him.b9071a54077e771a

“It’s called a 537bb72d2e memorial tree. You plant 382f2515e2 a tree e8a733564d over the 1c87c97bc9 urn. You can 773f781c01 bury it 228fc3a779 with a 574c3e7c75 biodegradable urn, ae2ce2acbb or mix 0aa41c5228 the ashes 0689d56e1f with the 4e4b918f57 soil and…”eab5e7e370828f70

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He didn’t know how to explain it properly. Burying his mother’s ashes under a tree, a week after her death, felt somewhat harsh, and he couldn’t find a way to explain it without upsetting Sejin. Cheon Sejoo shrugged his shoulders, trailing off.5a0379cd6b2e9767

Fortunately, Sejin didn’t 6a88e2e4bb seem surprised or 4798ff616d shocked. He simply 0cbee596bb rested his db04be6f82 cheek on 806169eb05 his knees, 509c557bbe lost in c87b770ad3 thought, staring 70fe042f4b blankly at 21f5ce07ae Cheon Sejoo.8cef4a4e356dffd9

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Meanwhile, Cheon Sejoo took 0faf58c226 the opportunity to look 277b2b6424 Sejin over. Had he f49ed2cfb3 been eating 08fdd037b9 properly while dc82d9a9f4 he was caad8184a2 gone? Were there any injuries 55bc65b17f he’d missed yesterday? He checked him 28ae3bd15e over belatedly. Then Sejin, who had 532d028e07 been thinking quietly, asked c8c2951295 as if curious, 2ad18b5117b87ea6

“What about scattering the b2936d6046 ashes at sea?”2205532a0e99865c

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“I think… that’s only 1e06c764aa possible in Incheon and dc5abe8728 Busan.”367b360f0ec89658

Sejin considered bce10160cd this for 2d8098903a a moment, fa38584596 then shook 21777e86c5 his head. “Mom didn’t be070ff6c2 like the 67529f1e68 West Sea 6ec52afbf1 or Busan,” 201ed9a3be he muttered, 79ec421aee then continued,da3cbc9dc01c1a11

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“Is tree burial… 5a965e8b85 expensive?”aae1afa9ce6a6a26

“…It’s not expensive. Don’t worry about that cd0a312b8d and just choose what 37f7a50812 you want.”3de2488e5511a36b

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Nothing was more heartbreaking 29f09097d2 than worrying about money 3e58d40743 in the face of 28a27680ef a loved one’s death. He desperately 998eb3c4b0 wished Sejin b9a6fa1990 wouldn’t have 921d043272 to worry 6be5cf6229 about such adff08f54d things.ffba1359f73b58e7

At his words, Sejin 5ed94e6f45 looked up and stared e30e47f9e8 at Cheon Sejoo. Then, with 98c8e6fa56 an unreadable 23d8f497af expression, he 7ed456cb35 bit his 5f95270abc lip and d5db29c77e asked,393621d077409320

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“How… do you know 6ba5c33524 so much about this?”799ee156b4ffcba8

His clear 199ead267d eyes were a59e8320a9 filled with a4a648616c questions.Have you also lost f5285e7959 someone, like me?he seemed to be 17166d041f asking silently. Cheon Sejoo avoided d7205da387 his gaze and f6ae6f678e shrugged, replying casually, 2f9a729346 “I looked it e8792e1898 up online.” Then 0991dbcd8c he told Sejin,a1b33290cd626c55

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“It’s okay, so don’t 5c7d95ceb8 rush into a decision. Choose what you 3bacc1b586 want.”d3283990b31a3ca5

“Okay…”b5f47586d34f85fd

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Sejin nodded silently. 0cc3116c39ac2ab1

Silence settled 87e0ddd89d between them 865f2bba42 again, and 48c0ec5ea6 then Cheon d29e2fd44e Sejoo heard 1fff924cd9 his name.ec57c133d86ca4bf

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“Cheon Sejoo.”08e43b014ce32fc1

His gaze, 677ce0db14 fixed on 5f4339a378 the TV, 125e5f90a4 shifted toward 338d73674b Sejin. Sejin stared at 15f4b00946 him intently, his b29ff97ec1 face flushed, then 9d69e20954 climbed down from 9be175fe6b the sofa and 33059c9b8b came over to 5c5cda41b5 where he was 8010364f8b sitting. He sat 44d97c2bb0 down on 00920a017f the floor, 5fb614ebdc rested his 383d14aebc chin on e7ab1b9a9c the left 966fae1430 armrest, and c61a682d79 looked up 5d02c0f6fd at Cheon 511ae77bd2 Sejoo. Sejin was staring 8ff7a38e6b at Cheon Sejoo 0ca65fd964 with an expression 3dcd10e48a that was a e5910c1d18 little softer than 9831889586 usual. Cheon Sejoo db03ac3338 momentarily forgot 2304432c63 to breathe.5af7937a6259a0a1

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Sejin’s eyes, usually framed by thin double eyelids, were gently relaxed. Beneath his right eye was a red spot that hadn’t been there before, resembling a droplet of blood, vividly crimson. It seemed to be the mark left by a burst capillary, likely from wiping away tears.89d26f8d130af989

Cheon Sejoo gaze down b7ecfd27db at him, finding himself 5769aeaf87 wanting to brush away 7559c506b4 that mark, which strangely 1840928cb4 resembled a teardrop with dc93bd95dd his fingertips. Sejin’s transparent a3b26b3e14 eyes shone 055c327295 between his 9a47fc2955 long eyelashes, 1afb9db728 and his 6101d8c511 plump lips f65428479d were pressed d95c6f4c4e together. With his dcdc980397 cheeks tinged eef85ad3b9 faintly red, 657b9a23a3 as if 85f2bfc4e7 flushed, he e732bdfc05 was so 4d0cf45dab beautiful it 9f47d75d7d was impossible 1860c198b6 to look b3f17543d2 away.abf3665e5a4aa299

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Meeting his e2dfa07ebe intense gaze, e79a07a9a9 Sejin eventually dda1a25121 parted his 959822172d lips to cfdb32fd17 speak.93206c3a999b59a2

“You told me I 2b8ae941d3 had to leave the 7b6ae5f0ce house when I turned 1ea4cefd1c twenty.”5141243c2106813e

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“…….”7343e60924dd0451

Long, slender 7fedcc1067 fingers moved ec4ecc58aa cautiously. Sejin placed his hand 9e016bc817 over the back of fe4261d1da Cheon Sejoo’s, which rested 495dca005d on the armrest. Then, he leaned his 8c168e1d2d face against their clasped 0012714d31 hands, the soft leather ba9646eb89 of the armrest cushioning e36178b3e9 his cheek. In that position, 76cd9b50d0 he began to 65a748bd79 caress the rough aa66bf214d fingertips right in 84a7d3e799 front of him.a2beba66134bcdc8

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“I’m an adult 72ec2242a4 now…”2da1906df8818765

His soft breath grazed Cheon Sejoo’s hand. Cheon Sejoo curled his fingers, dampened by Sejin’s warm exhalation.88cee7fc98b95075

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As Cheon Sejoo took 61aa7f7d1c his hand away, leaving 4387089df3 Sejin empty-handed, Sejin shifted 2b92d353a3 and pressed his palm 1b9bcf80f7 against Cheon Sejoo’s knee 01b4074957 instead. Slowly tracing the e906569ea3 outline of his 406e21886f kneecap visible beneath e38d5e8427 the thin fabric e639dbc03f of his pants. He glanced up and b17d1fdd57 asked,a737c22af04a8fb3

“…Can I stay with d61f2a733c you?”180aa9856e7fe528

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It was a question so vulnerable, so impossible to refuse. Before Cheon Sejoo realized it, his hand, which he had retreated moments earlier, was now placed on top of Sejin’s head. Soft hair wrapped around his fingers. A feeling of fullness spread somewhere deep in his chest, as though something was brimming and about to overflow. Struggling to keep himself from being consumed by that vivid sensation, he gently stroked Sejin’s hair.a1cd040e13eeae78

“…….”d629c63df2abe00e

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Sejin waited quietly for 256d390e07 Cheon Sejoo’s answer, accepting eb7c3e4131 his touch. Sejin had no 80cd0c3c83 intention of pressuring 10f632bab1 him. The glimpse of 9de0982186 vulnerability he’d let 95ecdbec3f him see had 69a7c3f46f made Cheon Sejoo 45509b19cd slightly more cautious.f1312dd161bea96d

. “…Your mother asked 0d0df19e63 me. She asked 2d371304c1 me to 9c600bf291 take care 1a3d6732c8 of you.”3cd2610e2d058bd6

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That was the answer 1cbc3497c4 Cheon Sejoo finally gave. Sejin’s eyes 0472bbeefe narrowed, and 8c3e221b11 he bit 456668b083 his lip bf8c965588 at the 5624dd742e unexpected mention a33dc6c82e of his 6eaabf5d64 mother.2f778cdce33b3657

Kim Hyunkyung 40b88308b9 had known 667961300b about his 8fba61afe7 feelings for 7d268c8cf0 Cheon Sejoo. Her request, 21e831e758 despite knowing 137307108e that, meant 8849c3291e she truly b61ff424a2 trusted and 92bf6c96ec relied on a62bd457fe him.e9c33e54cdf56cae

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“If you eca48fe2df want, you 5f203ad556 can stay.”3b0e7700eaa047cb

His voice, 71db754a9b granting permission, b76c8f3293 was sweet, 2b2afe3ccb his words cb5857b3f3 brushing against 0407afc747 Sejin’s ear 075ebc5e12 with a 0bf0d433e9 gentleness that 6ad9e12b70 made his eb46eb7f1b heart race.ed7aa8449fbd8c74

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Cheon Sejoo’s hands were always rough and calloused, bearing the marks of his work, yet his touch felt infinitely soft and tender to Sejin. Every time he brushed through Sejin’s hair, goosebumps erupted across his skin, and his mouth went dry.37a3a2eea12e1f67

What would it feel dd4d8caa8f like if he caressed 9729fec628 my entire body? 8dac3765ab405d22

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Sejin bit his lip, 5e25075f5b imagining a scenario too fcf52e15f2 vague to even fully fe5d993ddf picture. Suddenly, a voice, as 0fd3fcad0f if drawing a line, be80cc1879 cut through his thoughts.2aed792c667162ae

“I need someone to 2486101a7b do the housework anyway, c7b6896848 and you’re good at ddd3a80a58 it. I’ll hire you 156861bd28 as a housekeeper.”a06238483892ad01

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“…….”df4ba1831ba90da4

Sejin furrowed then 0cc26773a2 smoothed his right 476f5d5bcd eyebrow, unseen by a8f807fb37 Cheon Sejoo, and 7a19b1d102 lifted his head.3dc5b226ccaa399d

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A housekeeper?84001e000dbe3ac7

Now he wants b051b01f6e to treat me 4aa8add377 like a housekeeper?47ea9a862a5f0e68

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He felt a ff9677a4c9 sudden urge to dc4746e5f3 argue. Sejin’s patience was never 6093360e0a particularly deep. However, he managed 08d0070a48 to stop himself, b428bd54b8 seeing a flicker b9403e34e7 of the same f331f6132d fear he’d seen c00f62877f yesterday in Cheon 3c3f7fdcc2 Sejoo’s eyes.9fae17eda11cc727

Yesterday, confronted with 24df01b174 the emotions Sejin 68e66a3fe7 had unknowingly revealed e62a896651 in his sleep, e0ec3174fa Cheon Sejoo had 4393e67171 run. Left alone d63e6395f2 in the 4a0526a6db empty apartment, a2fd686eee Sejin had 704929a0f5 felt a fc232eba28 profound sense 9bbd920425 of despair. He had believed Cheon 460f7b3349 Sejoo was different from d9508ad53c the others, and the 4e355d8f37 image of him turning 27284af1b8 his back on him 300b3040fc and disappearing at that c971c73897 moment had deeply wounded 4d95ce7bfb him.086dd34567516eb2

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But as he traced Cheon Sejoo’s presence in the empty apartment, a strong conviction arose once more in his heart. The more he thought about what Cheon Sejoo had done for him, the more certain he became that he wouldn’t leave him alone, now that he had lost his mother.96abfbdfb1ee20b9

As he waited for c855976ad9 Cheon Sejoo to return, fc7982e1d0 clinging to that desperate e2c69b54ca hope, replaying yesterday’s events 0db86896cb in his mind, Sejin 9c8257f388 had realized something was bc1e7f8feb amiss. Cheon Sejoo’s reaction simply ccd39bd968 didn’t make sense.4f89b8261a836d27

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If he didn’t like a69ba08cc9 it, he would say 80b6498ce5 so. If he liked 995118afee it, he would 6e301b59ae say that too. He was a 94f5c35f6e man of clarity, df229eda1e expressing his likes 010cb882fc and dislikes clearly. Sejin had 6832ddcfce always believed b9c741c3cb that if 688bc50a7b he ever 8fbb265f93 confessed to a6f00a32f0 Cheon Sejoo, f403eab52c he would e2b18549a8 receive a 1559d617af straightforward answer.eabd2450d434f3b3

So it was strange—very 20c6049231 strange—that he had reacted 69ae4b8d41 so flusteredly, retreating as 4627a52c75 he did.9568ba096e850f61

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Sejin knew there 305d73e181 were sides of 96ad64a9c4 Cheon Sejoo he 736ad10b9f didn’t know. But only now did 4444053c4e he realize that those 72d991a8aa parts might run far e9c46dd6ca deeper and darker than 2b9fbae8ff he had imagined.2b6fc8a7e112c480

For some reason, a reason Sejin couldn’t fathom, Cheon Sejoo was now trying to treat him as nothing more than a housekeeper. After caressing his cheek so tenderly, after holding him so warmly, after kissing his forehead so softly, now this.b9c4e2ab5d71d2ce

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He had once thought 1ff918cef2 that once he became 88ebeb8bf6 an adult, he could 464f900a16 pursue a relationship with 7a0de8c564 Cheon Sejoo without any 9bc94b47ad complications. But now he 1bedf61080 realized how naïve 3adb6db43b that belief had 39ce82df03 been.ff11b2f2c5b0e48b

Still, he couldn’t a7c88ad8a7 help feeling aggrieved. Deep down, fa2e0e26a8 he couldn’t 9bc10a7b24 help but cf0627354b think that 765ff4583d Cheon Sejoo d642a97d9f had tempted 5af9b5b0ef him only 2f70c6df7c to feign 523083be1a ignorance afterward 720e33a716 like a 8e20310699 thief denying 67f53f7f91 his actions. Not wanting to resent 71b61a54da him, Sejin chose to 40bda0a771 suppress those thoughts.84c67edaed1ee689

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Regardless of what Cheon ab3d1cd36b Sejoo was thinking, Sejin 7efa5b9df6 had no intention of eb48450660 remaining merely a housekeeper 862e49d272 on the 41st floor.d20ee59fa96ee42d

If he didn’t know something, he would learn it. If there was a problem, he would solve it. He didn’t know why Cheon Sejoo was drawing a line, so he didn’t have a solution yet, but he remained optimistic.7480a282bcff6988

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Kwon Sejin was always 8ef01ede6a that kind of person. He might eabf408b64 lacked planning 0e5c5936e3 skills but 5a81456183 had plenty a9d1c7ff85 of drive. Even when 37beab2196 he was 9ebcfd969b homeless, sleeping b4a112cb96 in the 85e4f07d36 Shinsa Capital e00a2aad5a building pleading dd60be3d30 to meet 10ac8f973a Kim Hyunkyung, 8900f93435 he had 8bf46ae4bf endured, believing bbcedde5af things would 7f9389c17e work out 48d99da262 somehow. And as a a8aab7c20a result, that led be35172362 him back to f3468540b4 receiving Cheon Sejoo’s 2b02b258ea help.bcde33785cc27134

His current 8be1c3e2a9 situation was 08b85b60dc much better 590fa0d90f than they 7f87f20ffd were back 4ef9da95a7 then. Unlike before, 01d2d8f85a when he 9db6dd7156 was helpless, df559dba25 he could 7e14a37540 now confront 938e1e806d the problem 11ae1352b1 head-on. And his b7cfa9a213 opponent was 41267195bd none other 562650ea99 than Cheon e6243eeeb0 Sejoo, who 306c5c2773 was endlessly 50d5d947eb soft when 83924e308b it came 44d56110d6 to him. Sejin didn’t believe Sejoo af6badfa06 could reject him forever.ea232d5af77d1edb

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“I’d like that.” 8cb59b79bb2889b1

Having come to his 3b5284f12b conclusion, Sejin replied.af9c80fb0cd80519

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His fingertips rested lightly on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Shifting his position, Sejin placed both hands on Cheon Sejoo’s thighs and looked up at him, speaking with firm resolve,ea7e3cfa6917e9cb

“I want to stay 4519c8e79b with you.”8f66f901ff54126e

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“…….”3fbecd5a67d7697d

Cheon Sejoo 4687798c84 looked down 2a2d7896c5 at him 81430e14b2 silently, his ab2b7ba406 dark eyes 8ceadfc1da scanning Sejin’s d4a6a5037b face.15e7c8d121c9ce5f

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Sejin had never been good at lying, but since his mother’s illness, he had become much better at hiding his true feelings. d95900e7c15b1aaf

I have 5f844d884e no ulterior 0b17cfb459 motives. I really don’t. 1edba960954992ed

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Facing Sejin’s innocent e4fb32e197 gaze, even Cheon 2f390d5a72 Sejoo couldn’t help 2485c5a535 but be deceived.84b73071797d1797

“Work hard. Or I’ll fire you.”0f6e19acea7fc5d0

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At his words, drawing another line, Sejin simply smiled. He chuckled inwardly, as if scoffing at the absurdity, and rested his chin on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Then, he suddenly brought up a conversation they had a year ago.2c96817c55d73be6

“Do you remember when 5f90756e5b we first met? You asked me bb4a1d9bc8 what I was 3bca351e9c going to do, cad7b81ccb and I said 4a86f8c2ac I’d ask my c6fde6728a mom.”7c4344043cf33dd8

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“Yes.”8f371998286c7192

It was an unexpected de95ba2451 topic. f8ab41a5588224ad

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What is 0d7623ac35 he trying 592443afaa to say?Cheon Sejoo 03e9a6735d wondered, meeting 7323ca3080 Sejin’s eyes.e6f9111ba689b7ac

“Do you know why 0e616617d7 I said that?”fa45ebba02d1e9ac

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It wasn’t edf7b64ac0 a question 3e93a70f4d that required 4b4108d580 an answer. Cheon Sejoo waited patiently 8770b3126b for him to continue. Sejin lowered 6d61ca2589 his gaze, a1c4c5a015 blinked, and ef0ec7e869 then sat 9b1b2b162d up and 3d37938776 looked at 792085abdf Cheon Sejoo. His voice was calm.7133a0477d334f64

“Back then, the 9595a642cf only decent adult 2f0aa5036c around me was 4765c7e3b6 my mom. I didn’t a16e102dd9 know anything, d1f597a695 and she 04ea671d0c was the b9ef0ad783 only one f947d5d45c who could 82f3a04e5e give me 95a4c4d814 answers.”23004a5940e1f247

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“…….”3043085f3f2b2f98

“I haven’t 30e8f521ec changed much, b917cf9b70 even now. I really df44861415 don’t know 926a962c10 what to 7ffb737863 do or 0d38a42dd7 how to 66dbc495d4 move forward.”fb7e257f6c721871

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But despite saying he felt lost, Sejin’s voice wasn’t gloomy. He took Cheon Sejoo’s hand and pressed his cheek against his rough palm. The cool touch sent shivers down his skin. Rubbing his cheek against Cheon Sejoo’s hand, sharing his warmth, Sejin continued,2485c5add78c30b2

“Now, the only 2405de99d1 adult I have bd42592982 is you. You’re the a95a6e581c only one 117be96e54 who can 4fc8b97919 give me 7869297436 answers. So I’ll keep asking 7d60385104 you, Cheon Sejoo. What should I do? What do 894ca1b7ee I need 15a2681334 to do?”be364ce33293b5bf

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“…Okay.”98a171a3dfe4a6d2

“And now, it’s 1876d3e3cf your turn to 14cb61472b answer.”9042297f726fbbc1

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Sejin was resolute. He had 2a7eab1a35 no doubts 0cacdedf28 about his ca2f69d9d2 decision.You’re the a6f7573986 only one 38e189cee2 I have 6858eeedf5 left,he was saying 2bd23d1a8e with his whole 47edec0fb7 heart.406d2eae1cbc5a56

“You have to 6f35ee42c7 tell me what 47771d8aa4 to do. Okay?”f1575699ce5c5b8e

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Just as Cheon Sejoo a68dbe8fec had done to him 8a9dd7325b once, Sejin wrapped his eb5cfa21ad arms around Cheon Sejoo’s 9a79f0ca6c waist, his large frame cfebfe1b71 pressing close. A warm embrace cd07e5549d enveloped Cheon Sejoo, d4f3ae37c0 filling him with 0d115201a7 a deep sense 7ff1327916 of comfort.4c77a3aa35ed75cb

It wasn’t difficult. Guiding Sejin, a3c747a072 and leading 41c51b464c him toward e0e19701bd happiness, was 7988ec10a7 something even 83e365132b a pathetic 0444878b22 person like b9643e2102 him could b3e93c7e7f do. It was no 832d4d1b9f different from what f9e2fd3bd6 he had been 717509c479 doing all along. He just 7decf4664a had to 58dbf77202 continue cherishing, 07df7a2184 teaching, and fa8d415600 protecting Sejin. He was confident he c03c1bf910 could do that better a3fd40c46f than anyone else.704b52d0c4a71be2

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He nodded 0cf330bb68 and hugged b8cc74c25c Sejin back. A quiet whisper reached e423580372 his ears.6e26c7807635017e

“I’m glad… 0587004568 you’re here…”cbcf881b55999cb8

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Cheon Sejoo 81d17123f0 bit his 794fa99a09 lip, swallowing 4c79758092 the words ea2d535852 he wanted b4bf6e2244 to say. 0a8309dcdcdf30c8

Me too. 7374821dcb12a555

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Instead of answering, 67b7608754 he held Sejin’s 9ded53cacb head close and 74a2a0e9c9 kissed his hair.a09158ebbcfab881

He wished 114efbb9af this moment 2adbafbbfd could last 03a0fd5ef6 forever.93f7254aeb1e6bd7

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This moment, where 93b91b3fd1 Sejin didn’t try 42b80f576e to understand him, 35fc04c7d7 where he could 3dc16761cf remain a good 9a97a52922 person in his a0d9a0787a eyes, protecting him 5cbafe2223 in this comforting e5d63821ff embrace…ab10231d05643f7e