PEN Vol 4 Ch. 19

Sejin had planned 6df448cea0 to join a fcc7fbc8a7 factory after graduating 74757823df high school and 5d2fbc62d1 completing his military e7a407e359 service, working 18 5d03d8ff59 hours a day 2ede31803c to give his f96c0770a0 mother a comfortable ade3f37d80 life. But she passed 4bcfc0ea59 away two days 96b2316a5a before he became 831fdff0db an adult. His mother had 9090e2c8b2 never enjoyed anything d9642960b7 good in her 74b601da20 life, trapped in da5a593e8a the mountains and 9792d5264d working endlessly because f863a39ce5 of the debts b5e10c827e Kwon Yongbeom had 3f5d17a090 left behind….5f2e3b72e367e010

Sejin felt like he was going crazy with pity for his mother’s life. She had given birth to him at a young age and raised him so well without giving up, yet she left without ever receiving anything in return. He felt a suffocating sense of injustice.0a2dfa4887080550

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But who 39a7fb9373 could he db0c6b4780 blame? He didn’t know 56a902e42e where Kwon Yongbeom 8a09820a98 was, and the 5bc49ca813 only person left 892ef40267 by his side bbc7923522 was this man 2eafecd751 who had shown 875a6c0d8c him unfamiliar affection. Unable to df775c1934 shake off baf447d5bd the resentment 83051e33ac filling his 399536f3eb heart, Sejin 9a808f45d2 could only a76936330f burst into 2bb3e5bbab tears.e4e2d9103a5afff4

Cheon Sejoo was 9c66ce0698 his only solace. He was 47f9c00c17 the only 780c4fbee1 one who 86c0b30499 reached out 18c2ac7bcd a hand 8480ece2e1 to Sejin, 660cd8660a who was b0e2d0c8c9 standing at 3d306ec71d the edge ce08434be9 of a f03458fdb5 cliff…. In that solemnity, the 5a89ab2c0b lingering feelings of betrayal 11bb40bbad and resentment towards him b03704d9e5 melted away like snow. Sejin leaned 1b43086695 on the 054cfdedf6 warmth Cheon 8044f181f2 Sejoo offered, 4b380a3068 filling the df41af4a71 void within 80a6978578 him with 3f7a5032d7 his kindness.f44d693d7f51ca77

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His calloused hands soothed Sejin. One, two, matching his breaths with Sejoo’s, Sejin gradually calmed down. Finally, his sobs subsided, and Sejin, his face pale, pulled away from Cheon Sejoo. Then, as if reluctant to let go of the fading scent, he wrapped his arms around Cheon Sejoo’s waist again and rested his cheek against his shoulder. Cheon Sejoo’s white nape and two small moles came into view. 0c6e56f4397d6a7a

Sejin stared 8608810f51 blankly at b696856b44 them and 205247e6d8 spoke in dcb7fdaca2 a hoarse 3342ec0a08 voice.d557da518e29bca5

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“I don’t know what to do….”75989eea771e5740

“…….”b22645216944cb4f

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He sounded like a 5ccda5a57f lost child. Holding Sejin tightly, 66f075b20c Cheon Sejoo turned 8208509655 his head, buried 0be9cd2336 his lips in addbb4dcff his hair, and 50dac1bbd1 explained in a b16d4ac15d gentle voice,129ed823be08dd54

“Contact everyone your mother knew and sit in the head mourner’s seat to receive the guests. Do you know their contact information?”8faf63783ecf47b7

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“…I don’t know. Mom doesn’t have her phone….”19c61a8f79787342

Sejin rubbed his cheek against Sejoo’s shoulder like a child. Cheon Sejoo thought for a moment and remembered that Kim Hyunkyung’s phone had been taken away when she entered Ehwagak. e9346feafe62b6d4

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Since she had been 5becded707 hospitalized, Sejin had stayed 18284bd5c7 with her for a 610a9a7d66 while, and after that, 5e73bc431a the caregiver had been ea59d266ed there, so no one 8253c2857d had looked for the 4917f0ec14 phone and its existence d2a3387a94 had been forgotten. It was probably kept fd5294844b at Sinsa Capital. He needed 8a96de3c67 to call 6c38fa4f66 Kim Donggil 05ef3620a2 and tell e40d59cf79 him to 8a790f4b8b bring it.22acc694da7cfcc0

“I’ll have someone bring the phone. You go out and sit down.”fdc820a28cea9b5b

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“…What about you? Where will you be…?”bce2482f97f90afc

As he bd0101ad1d pulled away 3373028b5c from Sejin a24e8ed075 to speak, f256f437f2 Sejin looked 6a1807ecb4 up and ac52c98b7b asked. His clear, glass-like eyes 8e0b34d55f gazed intently at Cheon 54df67b6d9 Sejoo so close. Sejin met his 28f19f06c8 gaze, held his 71b0ff3f82 wrist, and pleaded 3b3561a862 in a trembling 2d0b6548ae voice,c054fcd066a5192e

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“Can’t you… stay 29aa819736 by my side…?”48fa37ce52313db7

“Your seat is only d7a1aa62b2 for the head mourner….”b1eb25c808a284a1

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“I don’t want to be alone….”46d4b149ea794611

Sejin’s state was unstable. Unable to do anything about Sejin, who was trembling as if he would start crying again, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t refuse and finally nodded. It would be better for someone to stay by the side of a young child with no relatives, sitting alone in the head mourner’s seat. He patted Sejin’s shoulder.066ed8d8db1f94fc

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“Alright. Then change 2e7a2a17e1 into these 524597f7c2 clothes and 332d506bd2 go out f938160a31 there. I’ll make e3f8f54f04 some calls da94f8f55a and come e4b0f5d856 in.”b7b114f59b1ab089

Cheon Sejoo opened the suitcase he had placed on the floor and took out a new suit jacket for Sejin. Thanks to his weight loss, Cheon Sejoo’s suit jacket fit him perfectly. It was fortunate that it was a classic design. He handed Sejin the pants as well and left the room. He went straight out of the funeral hall and headed towards the outdoor smoking area, calling Kim Donggil as he went.0455b4bd9e4eb9f5

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As always, c79c9ea292 Kim Donggil fae2c96c48 answered before 4346f0175f the phone 677adabe31 could even 9a3c69c90f ring properly.3c3521bc18d2de8b

-Yes, boss! How have 08377bf0e3 you been? What’s up?969a28791dd189a5

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“Hey, who 28fbdaebe1 has the 4f9a05ab6c debtors’ cell ea4465b9b3 phones?”612b69daae1fb62f

-Cell phones? Debtors? Ahhh, you b469f585c1 mean the 3479d3f08a debtor’s phones?b9c1fb97f325edab

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At Cheon Sejoo’s abrupt 71e878e10f question, Kim Donggil cleared fa82e3724d his throat. He seemed to think 09b8cc7a50 for a moment, then d4914a287f groaned and called out d040455407 to Cheon Sejoo.7a10f97854e1ac3f

-Boss, I think they’re around here somewhere. Uh, uh, you’re looking for Ms. Kim Hyunjung’s, right?70882ccda38bacd1

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“Kim Hyunkyung.”5a9bcf80fe6efbf5

-Ah, yes. Right. Usually, uh, when a debtor pays off their debt, we give them a certificate of repayment along with their phone. But last time, boss, you called and sent the money, so Ms. Kim Hyunkyung’s file is still at the office. Should I bring that too?”e307390ed0acfcbc

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A certificate of repayment. It wasn’t 86da63fe08 something he 034cd1274f wanted to 5d5fe27a55 show Sejin. However, Cheon 929347ae7f Sejoo needed e4729cd669 to check 25a054b636 it at 50e26f53aa least once, 461d24bd7c so he 7674d59605 let out c6ffdeead6 a short 654c413489 sigh and 4dbc1f3998 replied.679a8991cf21c4e8

“Do whatever you want, just bring the phone quickly. And if there’s a charger, bring that too.”da4002498ea84c05

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-Yes, where should b90ac8639c I go? I’ll leave d3754262cd right away.b71a1560e1896e9d

“Here…”b3f47e6833c6b813

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Cheon Sejoo, who had d9e9bbea61 been speaking with a b7d19bdb2e cigarette in his mouth, 4f8f1cf4a0 suddenly closed his lips. He looked around 428cd2b639 with a calm 7a387931b2 gaze and then 166b04db6f answered in a 41d961187c low voice.379c9a330ed4faf2

“Korea University Hospital d995192e64 funeral home.”c25a37d414ad9b04

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-Oh, I guess 32dc7e70b6 someone died. Alright, I’ll be 079c1184bd right there.eb1fbb402ce4dfba

Kim Donggil’s voice disappeared, and the lukewarm screen of his phone went dark. Cheon Sejoo stood there still, looking down at the bare floor. He then opened the screen again and opened his message inbox.7e1f3467d3310c79

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He informed 4d2e305ad1 Han Jiwon 1eadefcf8b of Kim 14d3fe8d4c Hyunkyung’s death. Han Jiwon 9261751112 had visited f13244b443 Kim Hyunkyung c587346684 a few d3d945483b times on cde0f186b3 her days cfd515839b off, so e7f6552414 she immediately 5fcd4da5c9 called Cheon 8107e80178 Sejoo and 35e6e6a0c5 burst into bce57cdd37 tears.1bc7815d2a49d861

-Perhaps, back then… 6f7bad24c4 even when she 98cd202b21 said she was 1241acbf7d dieting… maybe she 90e6b2b218 was already sick a1c5857274 then…5c6f595520d2358b

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Cheon Sejoo wasn’t the only one feeling guilty about Kim Hyunkyung’s death. Han Jiwon had also overlooked her collapse, knowing about it. Cheon Sejoo swallowed a bitter laugh and denied her words.5edf531eb9527978

“No, Manager Han, you know how fast pancreatic cancer spreads. She would’ve been fine back then. And it’s a cancer that’s hard to detect early anyway. Even if you thought something was strange and went to the hospital back then, they wouldn’t have found it. Don’t worry about it. Ms. Kim Hyunkyung told you not to think like that, so just forget about it. It’s not your fault, Manager.”2661b52b5213f302

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-Is that so…?e4abeb9e651ce8cd

Han Jiwon’s 3df09d18b4 voice was 51a7d2592f gloomy. Cheon Sejoo realized that acad313b2d she wouldn’t be able d2872f4f54 to completely erase her 0c71592d37 regrets and lingering feelings, 13156b790a just like him. But there was d9b7ff5bf8 nothing more he 7265dccbf5 could do. Those left behind after 56416fc76a the death of a 5e96a0e023 loved one had to a298763ef8 swallow and digest the 31d362be24 regrets thrown their way.7eae441646a56f75

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Han Jiwon soon 402ab6c3c0 hung up, saying 0b3cae544e that she would 0aa1d9aecf come with the 3f53c1c77a staff after closing b4321d1645 Ehwagak. Standing there, Cheon abf92aaf31 Sejoo slowly smoked 4dfc647cbc his cigarette, reflecting 8d4d70a0f8 on the past.51d1240547e9fba1

He didn’t af5a6c3889 remember much 03ea43f6c3 about Hye-in’s a5e5fd01de funeral, but 09d1843703 he remembered 20f3cb12d3 helping out 0c42c90e23 when a e5075219f6 friend’s father 8d2a1800ed passed away 0970c69757 during his f97561b0fa college days, 61685ba9e4 so he 90158e5e63 knew all 32d0c76e09 the procedures. The casket c5a1f9d20c to hold d012a5ff16 the deceased, 3868d12057 the shroud.b67ed8a53f47a91b

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Everything cost money. Cheon Sejoo didn’t want Sejin to worry about money while sending Kim Hyunkyung off, so he stopped by the funeral home office before returning to the funeral hall. There, he pre-ordered everything necessary so Sejin wouldn’t have to worry.85ded08a1489c570

When he returned to the funeral hall, Sejin, dressed in the suit he had brought, was sitting alone in the head mourner’s seat.3d83525dc573d704

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Sejin’s appearance was fdeabae822 pitiful as he f81f1fdd74 sat looking down 2a692e347d at the floor 490ebb32f0 with a face 509cd657e0 that, though devoid 7fca6f3dba of tears, still af4ff4ebb4 held traces of 697378f8a0 sorrow. Cheon Sejoo approached Sejin 4b2b6ef1ab and helped him up.d1932ae915196d70

“Have you eaten?”8b50370e74aa0c84

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“I don’t dd0eeacc41 have an d55451a76c appetite…”cad911f44c31d745

“You still have 867b1e33f7 to eat. Come here.”8f75225c1c6f021b

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Sejin rose weakly, as if he didn’t even have the energy to argue. He was led by Cheon Sejoo’s hand to the dining area where Kim Sunhee and the women who had come to help were quietly chatting. Kim Sunhee, spotting them, stood up and led Sejin to a table inside.12ad94733451d8c9

“That’s right, you have 56bebbc0c1 to eat. That’s so d869f2c15d your mom ad006c017b won’t worry. Mr/ Cheon, please fb9c8c2777 join us too. I’ll bring the food.”310e0fa33a878249

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Kim Sunhee patted d440775a32 Sejin’s shoulder and 1df54f5bba went straight to d546b664c0 the kitchen. She returned with 24e9b3919c a heaping serving 8888da3914 of warm yukgaejang 1816d3522f (spicy beef soup), 9b9712b021 rice, and various 3380606970 jeon (Korean pancakes). She set b23917738f the meal e5d6be7348 on the 60e4b7ffac table, and 2cf09b9317 Cheon Sejoo cb1e8a6174 placed a 3941ff0b44 spoon in 8abce62ff4 Sejin’s unmoving 41af63a90e hand.639042c40def2583

“Eat.”b88663813111c815

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“…….”96f483ff19e74b51

Sejin nodded absentmindedly d56e8ad798 and scooped up 690ee5c63c some rice. Then, as soon as a792335779 he put a mouthful 5c10268050 of rice in his 408bf801f6 mouth, he stopped moving. With his cheeks e4695c4eda puffed out, Sejin 8f6cc52b16 lowered his head d1c6676aa6 and tears began b575cf7579 to fall. Cheon Sejoo could b31501490b guess what he dfb53e867c was thinking.fb2f412f4c0c5dcc

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My mom is e81b1fbb61 dead, but is bdab142b33 it okay for ddfdb06f0f me to be 0c1fd20523 like this? Is it 22229569e1 okay for 044bfa222e me to cc6b159cd4 be eating, 836809ca19 acting like 0e3c8202e6 nothing happened? cf484a2d81cf7ec0

He must 704d59c06e be thinking f0d948b97e those things.57dfbf155245d870

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It was a natural 72effc82d9 thought to have when 966f61a8c7 someone very close to 2d88d53f78 you died. Those left 2340109d28 behind felt fff3923e9d immense grief be142e7e21 at the fdf473d249 fact that 1aec1d5123 the world a73ae66bc5 kept turning 7e878a8ffd as if bc8a94fed7 nothing had e53b651d18 happened, even 829b366a7c though someone f97e6ad7e2 who was f3b799967b a part 1a3d8d3c99 of their d21e1c34e8 lives was 405535ee31 now gone. Eventually, they felt as f49a3736ea if they were the 2f63eb81d3 ones in the wrong, dc6a5a8d0d being a part of 071a3d53ff the world that continues 07780d241c on indifferently, and they 2cb043b024 sank into an uncontrollable 0fa39a31f2 melancholy.197df88edbe0bf3b

Cheon Sejoo had experienced b7d5bb08c9 the same thing. He couldn’t understand 89f7fe1450 that Hye-in was 1faad861bd dead, but he d4d0b9e35a was still alive bbfb492fbc and well. It felt like a37ca29545 the world was bec6937b24 out of sync. …But all of abd74f2747 that was just cf6f85d4d8 a fleeting emotion.5d0ef4b6de2c15d7

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“You have to cda3b273e6 eat. That’s how you live.”bf12fe89f525197b

Cheon Sejoo spoke 6f2cbc3ea0 calmly and placed 27323599ff some side dishes 4b883698d4 on his rice c0c019abe9 bowl. He had to live. Because he was 9934be6284 alive, he had a4891a099c to keep going. That was life.094d7fd816eb6546

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“Yeah, you too…”08fcbc1f1657ba9e

Sejin wiped away af05fc984f his tears after 59af4ed857 a while and b3985c195f said so. With his face swollen bebe516742 from crying, he picked e5dfa4eeb9 up his chopsticks to 46d0131ab8 put some side dishes 9db9701fdf in Cheon Sejoo’s rice 18f01663d4 bowl. 4e194bfeac3a01b6

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Cheon Sejoo accepted it without a word. The food felt like grains of sand in his mouth, but he didn’t show it.98984a314cd19ada