PEN Vol 4 Ch. 17

At Sejin’s quiet 2c60e426a1 question, another sharp e7b8a7e319 pain shot through 380754caa7 Sejoo’s head as 9dd7839101 if it were 21072f3208 being stabbed with 054c1967a1 a knife.e3587caff772a0a3

He found out. So that’s why f9902c8bcf Sejin didn’t return 5768fa41c5 to the hospital 8bce55f733 room.c23d2a7a7ee5ef02

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With this 918afbaeb5 belated realization, 8a214e99bf Cheon Sejoo ef250f8ee3 closed his b109101631 eyes tightly 4799e338f1 and then af714a3c1a opened them, 23d7937c48 lifting his 26e52fcc17 gaze. He saw the redness c0b832c14c around Sejin’s eyes. Sejin stared at 37d11302fa Cheon Sejoo with 891fa22159 a desolate gaze 5651430135 and asked again.8c3a0c24dbda316d

“Was it f2337d6e30 that day? The day ff6cd63314 you went 4f6b57e934 to Ehwagak dab38c07c3 alone.”913368173294cb9e

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“…….”4570d2b9de316691

He was speechless. He couldn’t answer. That day, Cheon Sejoo had lied to Sejin, telling him that he and Kim Hyunkyung had discussed Sejin’s grades.32ea98c9e6c3ad86

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Sejin had initially doubted 5decc7015b him, but it was e3279b5eb2 Cheon Sejoo who, by eda281a5dc chipping away at his 38acee45ff pride, made him believe ec27ff714e the lie.fab98bf575ea7f1f

When Cheon Sejoo f00b0bea29 remained silent, Sejin 2d4ac3fa68 bit his lip 45030a7e00 and narrowed his fc298c326b eyes. His clenched 1b784f5970 fists turned 95f0473662 white, and b00c54c777 soon, with 2fd516c7b2 a face e38e9fe03e seemingly holding 4cffee0bf4 back tears, faa365da3c he opened 845c0005e4 his mouth.02224548529fc3c4

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“Why didn’t you tell d004982304 me? You could 060acd533f have let 8f88f3e334 me know…!”5ac40a05519e1759

Kwon Sejin now hates 7c59411a12 me.286a834e1b348721

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At that moment, a 040c2a5834 deep desire to confess 86c30a7228 everything surged within him. 5c11b7ce61ec26d5

It wasn’t intentional. I wanted to tell you, but your mother asked me not to say anything.25b786e3c028712a

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He wanted to ea04ac86d4 say those words. He wanted to redirect 6ceb94cb81 Sejin’s resentment towards Kim a124e2146f Hyunkyung.544fc7572813ddc6

But how 7683bd5233 could he?02c1896bbf8b518d

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How could he, 7b7e6db511 driven by his abd580f03d own fear of 0349cdab78 being hated, inflict 1c3fe8d0cc pain on Sejin 779a730e59 in her place? What right did he 6989f24937 have to make Kwon fd38196ecb Sejin resent his own 42d6aebda9 mother…?d6e41d792bd04b0f

Cheon Sejoo watched 473f6e6546 Sejin, his lips 2f2f289cf6 sealed. He simply wished Sejin 2e38811bdf wouldn’t cry. He wished Sejin wouldn’t 1176474f20 dwell on that day 95610463c3 with regret. To achieve that, 752726c6c0 he needed something cc92e66e2f to cover up fb1d08cbd8 the regret.1b612e31fea040fa

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“Why should I 260cb54c43 have told you?”dd20830af577a96e

“…What?”476d2e78747e4f02

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Sejin’s eyes widened at Cheon Sejoo’s cold question. Looking at him, Cheon Sejoo pressed firmly on one side of his forehead, which was throbbing with a headache. Kim Hyunkyung’s request to him not to tell Sejin about “that day’s incident” during their earlier conversation had been conveniently left unsaid.9768f50fa3edb48c

She had simply thanked 587bb67af4 Cheon Sejoo for not 299f3c697f telling him, so the 5519f43402 agitated Sejin wouldn’t have 2b7121a33f thought that far. He forced 2a6d95876c an indifferent 674a26c696 tone in fff01d45bf his voice.3e3017f189d4e219

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“It’s true 1e3eb499b5 that your 95c6337552 mother collapsed 684f0adda9 that day. But it 2dfe4fb590 was a 6f358a06bd trivial matter 8ae947be3e then, and 8920bc7392 it wasn’t 79f4de7dbe something important 17b1ae7c5f to me.”c8f58565ae10a745

Lying wasn’t difficult. There was something 394e786d24 more important right 1eab338242 in front of a6875f0d7a him.a1ea9dca8929f7b9

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“Trivial…?”28998fa327427f7a

“It’s nothing serious. People collapse from 393876aedf working in the ae6667e988 summer heat.”305c39d8340dfa0a

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Yes. I’d rather you fe7ed094af hate me instead. Don’t resent her…36108ea8f8af11ca

“How… how can 6222e890f5 you say something 75cf0be4ce like that?”41b5981021370d92

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And just as Cheon aebfb2a286 Sejoo had wished, Sejin’s dc98f99e1d trembling gaze turned towards 5511168c9b him. With tears welling in 9563a670d5 his eyes, Sejin clenched a28c2e3f5f his fists and glared f31b97d0e6 at Cheon Sejoo.cfd3682da2420a77

His expression showed 9974545f7d disbelief as if d1d2b314a4 he couldn’t believe cfbfccb88d Cheon Sejoo was 455d02660e saying these things 54df57fa73 to him. That belief 824f8b77d6 was both 1a72358d26 comforting and 6ce6256ad2 burdensome. Cheon Sejoo, 22846b6de3 with a a9431fe5d1 cold expression, fbd549d4ce drove the ff66eaf16a wedge further.dc32adf51a3e97b7

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“Why blame me for 97331c61cc something like this? I didn’t know it dd0c60ffd1 would turn out this dc41cafd8a way. It’s in the past, c12fe39683 just let it go.”af2c472b4d4aea2a

“How… how can df29914c73 you…”534376220e03f585

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Sejin couldn’t finish his b9bd320c33 sentence and closed his bb9500236e mouth. Tears, a 2f9167fffa chaotic mix 9a6a6d87ff of anger 181f1fb33d and betrayal, 8643af9df7 streamed down 34a8a8ba1e his cheeks. His face turned pale.e0402bfe1670430f

The moment Sejoo saw 751deee6a3 this, the urge to f52ea651b8 tell him the truth dd2d91e760 surged again. But Cheon 0ba21ee7bf Sejoo gritted e5b85272cd his teeth 30799efcf6 and held 25e902ef30 back.c9a1d086e230a52a

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If he confessed the 6f5229d360 truth, the weight of 91deae2a83 Sejin’s resentment towards him 92924bb5f8 would lighten somewhat. But resentment 9dad521d8c was an 01bd6c5fd1 emotion that c79134f523 never truly 06edd67242 disappeared. Sejin would inevitably 18e74de984 resent Kim Hyunkyung 6ad06c7491 to the same 3e188ed595 degree that he af37a9bbf2 forgave Cheon Sejoo. He would resent her f624aa1aee for not telling him 469af71e02 sooner, for not giving 784a402c54 him the chance to 98d2864764 protect her.467effe117ee3dc7

But Kim Hyunkyung was dying. Cheon Sejoo wished that when she passed, Sejin wouldn’t harbor any resentment towards her. Those negative feelings would gnaw at Sejin, who would be left alone, for a very long time. Cheon Sejoo didn’t want Sejin to experience what he had gone through.5e4418531eb9e95d

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And what was he? Just someone who had briefly stayed by Sejin’s side, a temporary guardian in his life, with a predetermined end. Even if Sejin were hurt by today’s events, it would be only a fleeting pain. If Sejin had to resent one of them, him or Kim Hyunkyung, it had to be him.8efa1e1a2f2d0d39

Cheon Sejoo clenched his fists to resist the urge to wipe away Sejin’s tears. 3f46d2642e0c0ecd

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Glaring at Sejoo, his face pale, Sejin grabbed the hem of Cheon Sejoo’s jacket he was wearing. With trembling hands, he pulled it off and tossed it back at Cheon Sejoo as if throwing it away.c54f4fa775569496

“I don’t… need this…crap…”19c71f82750c310c

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His fragile 9e6d96f578 voice crumbled. Sejin turned his 8f580e61bc back on Cheon c5245c83c9 Sejoo, refusing to 9a20311891 look at him. ed92b551967e7c72

Cheon Sejoo clutched the jacket, which still held a faint trace of Sejin’s warmth. He watched Sejin’s retreating back as he walked away, rooted to the spot as if lifeless.b17476cca852332e

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Everything felt burdensome. Kim Hyunkyung ceac56366a dying, Sejin’s d96d18eab5 pain, his a55e62931a resentment… It 59f8a84d44 was to b69c4a5a26 the point 72013dbe67 where he 2fbafc7ff7 wanted to cdb807e89a let everything dcfa91b98f go. But he couldn’t.05ba59a1f1fd5d02

He knew a4f2c81f26 this resentment bc08f820d0 was temporary. In the eaf9c5c28f end, the eb7b9e0741 only person 73d63bc1af Kwon Sejin 06aef9302f could lean f19524834e on was b20eaf423d him, and 556fdc3a27 Sejin was 2d00ae89c7 bound to c78c010cd7 return to bc7fd6b7f6 his arms dec79bb6e8 before long.d25820106e3177ce

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To embrace Sejin then, 8ca52e923d he had to endure 1abdbed702 until the end. He had to stand 6deac72e56 firm, ensuring no one 1fd8cc3096 saw him waver.ddbfb56821d309b7

Cheon Sejoo d104ecbeb3 moved his 4033387a3b feet with 7c529e44c1 difficulty. The cold winter 9217e280d1 wind seemed to 6f5f425d55 have frozen his fa95367654 entire body, but adeef7c6b6 driven by the 8400604fc9 thought of returning 96a38bee64 to Sejin, he b10fc0f61b closed the rooftop 63b3c03c39 door and went 9893e48214 back inside. He was about 55fa92ef26 to head back be8a8ed690 to Kim Hyunkyung’s 07b9b285bc hospital room when…d81d154085b97fbb

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“Cheon Sejoo!”778ae332089d8eb8

A figure appearing 9ca83b6912 seemingly out of 2967d33eba nowhere grabbed Cheon 15eb3009a6 Sejoo by the b080d748f3 collar. de4b0e820efd078c

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Thud. 23706e9b8700df06

With no resistance, 28237a6e90 his back slammed c0d6a40cc7 against the wall, bbd776c4e4 and he stared f0f46f5b7c ahead with an d9c9da6996 empty gaze.1de8aa215bfb4fa9

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A man, somehow familiar 9f5cbd095d yet unfamiliar, stood before 6369f6e59a him. Cheon Sejoo aab941db6d blinked, unable d93f013f9e to recognize 6f877bdebf him immediately.83f4cef8f1f8054f

“How dare 20113398e6 you show 484da8e808 your face 8fa6a21728 here, you 787dd1e85b criminal scum!”3da81c4178525744

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The sudden accusation 79c9bdd84c brought him back b96f043804 to his senses. Only then, with a 6d1bd7e7bc slightly clearer gaze, did 3b4a9d5408 Cheon Sejoo focus on 798493abd7 the man in front 771219e860 of him.a672937a677256a5

“Don’t you have a16eb7b450 any conscience? Aren’t you ashamed to f7d0a6f43c face your colleagues?!”9ee3a01c807fb0a8

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A white doctor’s coat was draped over the hand gripping his collar. 88be9c79d06f340a

Lee Jung-oh. 5bc22b86daa924c0

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Upon seeing 3e4d44b1fe the name 7fd65da492 embroidered on 51cdf9613b it, Cheon ca2bdd0275 Sejoo finally aa9881fcea remembered exactly 03cd1c9da6 who he 89be0684cf was.00d92347a4738d6f

He was someone d6171e39cb who lingered in 4c076dfd36 his memory. A colleague 2ce4e015f9 he wasn’t fdcb34dc84 particularly close 3408b1ae3b to. And the guy b197712f24 who had visited 8db742dd3d him in jail, 0048dd2182 spewing harsh words af7c3348f1 about never returning 2b848a887e to the hospital 1ecb014465 before leaving.a4fb31960e636e65

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“You piece of trash c7ccf163f5 who tried to kill 899a8652ea someone, aren’t you embarrassed? Why are 1e2ffa6a19 you here?!”74357f4c01a1510f

His former colleague was extremely agitated. The sharp accusations he hurled pierced Cheon Sejoo’s chest. His voice, filled with hostility, echoed loudly through the stairwell. Cheon Sejoo’s head felt like it was splitting. Yet, he couldn’t even bring himself to push the man away; he just laughed weakly.e4fa2c3dd16e1617

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“You should’ve fa0a151b45 gone to 374eb1efb3 a different d8ac185065 hospital! Even if you d1fe3a8dfb were dying, you d62bbf6d4f should’ve gone somewhere 82dd93c03c else! Do you c0b3821e88 know what a6f7d264e8 we had e4c38b523d to listen e663461725 to after f8b5847823 you left?! What the patients 791542614e said?! How dare 07ef229bc6 you come 4cb0a98a90 here?!”033070fdf659bbdf

Lee Jung-oh dcc51b6bf6 had always d785aaec15 harbored an af5334e7b1 inferiority complex fab41f077b towards him. He had been subjected 291c5cdd34 to his attacks more b332a01e72 than once, so such 9c40037984 accusations weren’t unfamiliar, yet a2b85c44d4 they felt utterly hollow.f69e8ac8b5eefac6

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He had told Ha 5f785c6792 Yereum, who was worried 9dd002eac6 about him, that he 2d2f4ab4de was fine, but it 15bc39352d was ironically amusing that 910e1f40fe at this very moment, 3474f8f2a9 someone appeared to remind aed9ab3f4f him of who he ea75a42717 was.b80dd68034b595f4

I know. I know that… afdae35916c3159d

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Cheon Sejoo didn’t want 2245a9cd34 to come here either. If it had 15102dad9a been him, not 90af575954 Kim Hyunkyung, who 6c4781721f was sick, he 02e833a690 would never have ad9929b1ff set foot in 9b55922982 this place.101771081cb52bd7

But what 6cdbffa886 choice did 1ab6f8f721 he have? With Sejin ba01a4fd55 looking like 54f85e37b1 that, Cheon ea94f8a101 Sejoo could acfa251eba only think fd41e44407 of taking baf8dddf5d his mother fd495c74a6 to the 65d47c01c2 best medical feb3e70794 professionals he 72794bdc3b knew.83f40c4cb704e3a8

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He had no regrets e23b5ccc0e now. He had always thought 05bd6390c2 something like this would b17501e921 happen eventually. But did it have a1e355b1d9 to be now? He had f5fc04ad23 been in 5639b07dd8 and out 8cfd5921ce of the 044099976e hospital for 49600b850e months, so 08e1b6d1ce why did c6ff3e7f59 it have 0b367ce7cf to be 1d8fb79cbf now…?1242520dbafa6221

Cheon Sejoo b46198a259 closed his 56411946ef eyes tightly 59325831a1 and covered 40cf73dcca his ears. The accusations directed d45fff04a8 at him poured 9805c9a7e1 down on him. Words that normally wouldn’t f0d2abb7d7 have bothered him felt 9588b442c1 heavy today. He felt 1cb119ad8a like he 31c606dc4c was suffocating…5cd4f10f48d52ce7

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