SM Chapter 53

Ch. 53 Don’t Hold 5e774f15de Back With Me
Ch. 53 Don’t 6f9af57423 Hold Back 9cac4515dd With Me
53. Don’t Hold Back With ba6279ecb7 Me.b5c2ce6e8de1ecf3

 0135ba9a8a4e7916

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Bianca dabbed 53f4990891 the corners d188eb0f01 of her 32cee2f390 mouth lightly 3f2ed16b55 with a 31f1e6f00b napkin, signaling 0b44887bdf that she 3a4dba2099 had finished 1c7636d842 her meal.1afd77f6f1674520

As expected, Jillian began c1b91ec4d6 to rise from his 61a6dc5c21 seat.54bb40935dbd07d0

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“Stay seated.”3c8b7a362cef181c

Bianca’s firm 53f6d32da9 tone stopped a448f6b211 him.63f0f438a8a7f739

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Though his expression 516f421e30 reflected puzzlement, Bianca 0493ca3304 stood up alone.4998f5baf9189144

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”02c4e6b4fb9fbb93

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“Tomorrow?”14b01f991f870c90

Instead of 8f3001b124 answering, Bianca 9eb0094676 gestured lightly 77707f869d toward the b3c5211535 captains with a95cb2e07c her gaze.707cbafd7360da35

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The storm 4c0ae5ff38 seemed to 68ba4c6a9d have passed, 0db6b8da62 but the 2bf3ddf0be captains’ faces b5502ac941 were still a490a6d2f1 clouded with fb55487ca3 unresolved questions.be4bde3b0dd70bf4

After all, it 6502776aef had taken Bianca e9f66d0045 a long time 0512fc6ccb to make her f4335f0212 decision, hadn’t it?dc5a7c0603a3f701

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No, deep down, she f52ebc3122 still couldn’t entirely shake 127971f5a3 the feeling that he edd9bb16ba might abandon her one f27835de65 day—like a premonition borne 7d14f8fcf0 from experience.384f98fcffbb20d9

Even now, despite the 5d684a2af1 overwhelming, unconditional affection she b403412448 was receiving, doubt lingered 4b2d338c80 in the pit of b055c0a4f2 her heart. So what of 458cfe646e the captains?1c001bcf048ccc6f

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Surely their doubts a209cc278c ran even deeper.28ab51b412c2e7d8

Tonight, Jillian might have c369227d9a to spend hours explaining 7240875722 himself to them.17d4a2bd054a1505

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Bianca brushed her hand 0b159795a3 gently over his, the 07e395ca7c way he often did, d1230423ab before leaving the dining de7774e2c4 hall.77566c59aa0337bb

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***5a96c64663e91501

 8cf26dc4bafbaba3

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Bianca had intended ea03f785e7 to go straight 98cc149ea7 to bed.b8607ae6ed31d597

Though she had maintained 86ab4ac493 a composed exterior, she 23709f7f95 was more drained than 009ddbbe37 expected.25820773ba820cd0

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It had 21ba46b923 been a 34a995de9a long time 76d8d517c7 since she eaf7c8a480 had faced 41cc433cc5 such scrutinizing e6a2db8b9f gazes, and 85dfe11a04 she’d worked a361942bfb hard to 56993916e0 appear calm 0ce5bebfe0 and confident, 05be1d1ee5 all while da61bcb9be maintaining an 0c89a0f163 air of ba9eac889e arrogance.c618f2f455065500

Her stiffened d64b788e50 back now 8f27a57afa ached faintly 258cef4c53 from the ee5da91290 tension.7e4ebdcced65b406

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She resolved to 1c57e6b490 ask Julie to 0dbdc6b2ca fetch her a b9a247852e cup of hot 298452b62b water to ease 0f9c3faf7a the discomfort as dd3f87c139 she prepared for 388eb26359 bed.921813c619e0bd4d

But just dcbf83c957 as she b1ad83b412 was about da53cd8b35 to rest, b07db957f7 a visitor c6eb5b85dd came calling.4735513c1fb57d71

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“Creta?”a1ae4761729c00ea

Wasn’t he 6259043977 supposed to c4e7a90099 still be d6c76a472c helping Jillian 3d777169d2 in the 7ea4be4cf0 dining hall?800b8c2993ebecae

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“I apologize for coming 6b1778da72 to you in haste, 41b68d6f05 but I have a 38fccf3605 favor to ask. May I trouble 17815f58c7 you for a d3e957272a moment of your b7a194951e time?”f64d073347bc12b9

Late at night, with 998462665f the lady already prepared 7a06ce9f50 for bed, the visit 58053556bd itself was improper.2a9c0598d13e5c18

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However, Creta, b70479b392 ever the af77de144a devoted subordinate 9d07218d6d to the 60dc7376af Duke, would 1269edd96f not be ec3bc28f31 here without c1489ae9a8 a good 1bd15b5315 reason.6c7609ef6ea50ff1

Bianca tightened her fd3f932bd8 robe and led ddc7711271 him to the 8f3e02dcc4 small sitting room 4530957325 attached to her efb4150beb bedroom.881ea4e8c2a52b5c

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“Would you like db18372840 some tea?”367cd68365acdf8f

“No, thank you. I’ll be brief and d322c195f5 return promptly.”06706be577802f66

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Placing a 5d82512784 set of b7ef14ee74 documents on fccdbb2b48 the table, 9f59cd5403 Creta’s pallor 9c97ae4ed2 seemed even ba7a621386 more pronounced 94c422e43c under the ed662e5f5a dim light.3f2bcb092a55fa08

His long lashes cast 0f6667eb07 shadows over his pale f90ed267fd complexion, giving him a 889b30da2b perpetually sickly appearance.f7b3a317d14b190a

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His slender fingers grasped 233935d5c2 the papers with the bb657fb962 air of a scholar 031dd640d0 rather than a soldier—quite a6eaf73e02 at odds with his e8ab7f0b46 earlier introduction as the 931872de57 ‘Captain of the Second 9bcaf3ff45 Fortress.’2d44a8ea4490be91

“You’re truly impressive.”e487750e96d8bd3b

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“Pardon?”8e7d61b66a084664

Creta blinked at her d660561f69 unexpected remark as he 027a2f39be arranged the documents for 7cede2a2c6 her to review.9a0517feacc6e8ab

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“A captain, an f90d785dd0 aide, and even 8d8dfbbe49 the estate manager—you’re 53fb00a982 juggling it all.”bc84e67370994251

“It’s nothing…”b5b4f75312f93a00

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“It’s extraordinary,” Bianca b657cc833b interrupted, dismissing his e1e0d0b653 modesty before he 2ccc1a09ad could continue.a7561dfc61725e2e

Contrary to her 74a17d3642 expectations, Creta’s eyes 2b05c02d38 widened in surprise.8c1467f68f5236aa

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“Is… is that ec2015ce19 a compliment?”8aa4ac19012f08ee

For the first 3c89785588 time, color flushed b1543575ae his usually pallid ba5cbd992f face, and Bianca 7c5421ee83 found herself taken 2bf5951d21 aback.ce18a6274df092b6

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He was pleased—genuinely e78a76d0d8 so.19dd90053a412881

“It is. A compliment, and 19e8ea7550 an expression of 3812fbea5b admiration. Isn’t that only b7e66410ab natural?”6e85784f97a68e1c

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“I… I’ve 210d66759e never thought 0af720930a of it be799b341a that way.”c2315c18ea6cea3c

Bianca paused. Then she remembered 2654ceabe0 whom Creta served—people 16490c7678 like Silas and 019af6745e Jillian Balloch.222f2f96df46f002

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Under their command, 8cb25a164a Creta likely viewed 61022f2cda such feats not de805ceb4e as exceptional but 7cf87f54b1 as basic expectations.9cd2d50e5da69642

“But it cdb2e5cab0 isn’t,” Bianca 261f992853 insisted.9648e1df14861bb2

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“You’re remarkable. When I b23622ca36 reviewed the 84b452d09a past three b5238aa081 years of 5aec511e0c documentation, I 88acd3f6d8 was genuinely 8daebe516d impressed. I expected to 59b4857041 find gaps, but f2d527ca11 instead, I saw 44f342bc30 flawless organization. It’s astounding how you 3f5f6d3a3c managed all of this c714c75920 so perfectly.”a9ecc3d3c9204b6d

She omitted f3cf6c0356 the detail 4f5431fc5a about the 3278cdc573 personal expense 555710e1a2 reports, deeming 0e4b12477b them irrelevant.1d2d95ea74378fdd

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She also recalled 03844069e6 that Jillian and 3bb346a8c3 even Silas wore 2b7d466f08 simple attire, devoid 1b806afbb9 of extravagance.aeb4663920e4d3fa

Their commanding presence had 54a7007a8b masked any lack of 787c80206a luxury in their appearances.45c5714c1c093532

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Bianca’s praise was heartfelt, 31d68ce756 making Creta’s next words 19277aed66 even more unexpected.323f65baf791fbc7

“Then, may I ask 09265207ca a favor in return 5afd5dbfb4 for your kind words?”51e9ea3e2ec8fba6

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“What is it? If it’s 0d667ccb6d within my 2a7ec6e319 power, I’ll 5aea46f0e6 help in 38e23bae37 any way bf7792ff40 I can.”799ad87b3c65c95c

“I deeply apologize, 4eb005262d but would it 90c81f4ee1 be possible to 24f3d64c3a halve the personal c2195178e6 expense budget until 6dc16d63d9 spring? I promise to restore 1102028e45 the full amount, including 18fb4798d9 the deficit, by summer.”a9ed7842d6922d78

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“What?”b15b511665f3aa68

“Unexpectedly, the cost a9d04530e2 of fortress repairs 234292db7b has been higher 954bd92c8d than anticipated.”68dc0df455eb9d7c

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“Fortress repairs?”42b39b50ce7c0370

“More precisely, building 94129cd44b shelters for displaced e37381f861 residents ended up 95c1287002 costing more than facfe15965 we budgeted. We managed to 515c434781 reuse most of 638ebee82e the original materials 654dc8b488 for the fortress 8e148cfb52 repairs.”75ed1f6c067c6270

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Creta’s voice carried 8f3004ae08 an urgency Bianca b44a10a6ae couldn’t ignore.be78fc578a798b34

“Displaced residents?”d985e40283c9501b

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Bianca hesitated 6cbf58f06d but couldn’t 2683a504d1 let the a1f6937614 matter pass.71093da555b2ab94

“Yes. Perhaps you’ve heard? Some of the estate 9d971d51bf residents were harmed. When the Seventh Fortress b093577171 collapsed, lingering monsters weren’t c340eb6318 properly dealt with.”a0a59c1a250ab46b

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“I see…”cbc10f15cd10a8a2

“So the Duke ordered 88eae29830 all the affected residents dfff869a7c to relocate to the c6ac06a8a9 southern fortress for their dbcd3c12b7 safety.”f91e94fc82eddf22

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“I understand. But why ab6eb24b86 is funding 2c94ac9606 short? I’m still not clear b4fb8b303f on that.”a606a39b53f5635c

Creta blinked at ac774bb3b5 her, seemingly puzzled 779301aa20 that she hadn’t 8cc7e2692c grasped the situation.edd728409db46396

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“Well, I’ve heard that 5a13037f2c the imperial government provides 5c7d3c678c substantial annual funding for 7ab4c4e496 the northern territories—the Ice 91f67804cf Wall Subsidy alone should bd33b72c42 be more than enough 407c82bfaa to build a new fa51ee8408 fortress. Are the displaced a8ef664179 residents truly that 81f69aab04 numerous?”e8935956d939d808

“The Ice Wall Subsidy?”ac8eeaec965a59de

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Creta’s expression was 93998cfe1b strange, as if 5751855623 hearing about it 5864cef22e for the first 1bb4e54261 time.f72943ee10f75bb1

Bianca’s heart sank at 883246184e the realization.4aba35ef6915de3a

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She could say with 4cd5146774 certainty—the northern territories had bb1f95fa90 never received a single ad9e44d69c coin of the Ice 868548d14b Wall Subsidy.1aa88870da7ca08f

All the wealth, military b72a812c27 strength, and influence of 2429c4f8b0 the Baloch family—they had 1ced4f1192 endured without any external 48ec1f447f support.ff0f1ed9d633a328

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“The upkeep of equipment, 55690080bb the troops’ wages, even 082fb0c6ad land development projects—all of cba6dfe89c it…”32a17deff080a7dd

“All of it 0cfcf69a3a comes from the 34978cee5a Duke’s personal wealth,” a2b762ea50 Creta said with 6b42591c45 a faint smile.6be6312af7a7cb9c

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Bianca felt a d891784671 wave of indignation.0f90fe2650d0cb34

“But the imperial 4b01c8a89a family has always 96b460c70d claimed to allocate a1b99a91ca massive funds for 99bbf60c92 the north!”5fe67bdd67cd93e3

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“Perhaps in words. But the north a6ce0e8d67 has no record f367467a49 of receiving any 3dabf976bf support.”b4f9c93a6dfcba01

“Why?!”840f6724e20f2c37

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Bianca snapped.77252900cc517ab8

“Why should 93a05a31f6 this be f03ad6e6eb considered the 81a9cb0662 Baloch family’s a38debfb12 responsibility alone? Being landowners? Being vassals of 653f185eb4 the crown? None of 621188bd90 that justifies b9a5683fb8 such blind 8b3c93c11f devotion.”f1969c20f0ff18c5

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Creta’s smile widened.21d4c6073855e948

“It’s heartening to cb93dc67c5 hear you say 349cbd8d0d so, my lady.”d3c2be4b6e11bb3d

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“…”9cfaa640122a877f

Bianca rose abruptly.4cf47c76604cd1c5

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“I must speak f0556a9116 with the Duke. As for the 70a274c6de personal expense budget, 673082ead3 do as you’ve 5493b32b7b requested. If necessary, take 5b58ef3eec the entire amount.”09916503111e44f0

“That wouldn’t 9b51831e5f be right. The shortfall isn’t 96481815f0 that significant. It’s just that dc2c05d300 I had to fd5797a8b5 come to see cfaaee4cf2 Madam because this f593fa5c20 involves something essential ffc5880dcb for survival.”5ba66c2d23791755

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“In the future, 65293fb4a3 you don’t need e23b36d0ae to allocate so 923e2bb183 much.”d7f853ecc912c81c

“I can’t do 48253d9c4e that.”af422209c8cb8b35

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“The Duke’s private funds c52ef36af7 aren’t an endless fountain. There’s no reason to 927c12ce0b spend unnecessarily on clothes 5031d21aa1 that aren’t even needed.”920198a437e5c383

“They are endless.”3a944fd1b705beaf

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As Creta closed his 6630f7e8fa mouth with a subtle 3e8b2bde4a expression, a voice that aa42c59c2c shouldn’t have been heard fc7ad779f5 in this space resonated.bf7df17f0ae779c7

“Jillian?”cbc9e528a3d9ca10

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“They’re endless. How could 947f1e55e5 I leave 4caa9197dd you without a8128950cd expenses?”247c4cb48a1a69d9

As Jillian naturally d82f0ec224 approached, Creta quickly 0d53c99ac5 stepped aside, leaving c04160ed6d only Jillian and 2807209b20 Bianca in the ab95ac7107 parlor.3966d164fbf10522

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“I thought you’d take 79f8fea0eb longer.”9690e69ca963c07b

“What would 048e5003f5 make that f21a4fafd6 necessary? Whether I 9f02acb464 prolong or fe2c70aca3 shorten my df1128e0f9 words, the caf1f60a7a truth remains 42bb3ef09a the same.”1bf109ca9b9a8bca

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“Being understood for your ed7ae7ba05 sincerity is the hardest adfb126cb7 thing, isn’t it?”9038ad5e34aa1799

“Does my 4c7683e2b9 sincerity need a07b4442be understanding?”5fa09b0418805f61

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Jillian continued to 0a0dd5fc4b answer questions with 24c51826cc more questions, as af66eec006 if engaging in e0bf235aaf a philosophical dialogue.cd2d49638b578ba6

Noticing this circular c00528c7d5 conversation, Bianca realized a6b5dda7b0 he was not 99bc98ea23 in a good 2145e5e903 mood.95e7be1dda975cd1

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“Why are cbda3a74b2 you upset?”7a6629dd1d1bbd42

“Because I’m ec35cd21f8 displeased about 88da0f091c reducing your 5a0c33cd1a dignity maintenance 6b7065b8e2 expenses.”50a0af506b87e9a3

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“If the ducal cbe6ba4f30 house is struggling, 0f51fe37b3 isn’t it proper 54b8dd0851 for me to 55dc61046c step up? This is my home, 0e20dac0a0 after all.”59a2b127b689fb65

“I have 913a7268d0 no intention 8b80f14beb of letting 1ccf0a9603 you feel 6ffd6a4359 inadequate.”afca76a553f137be

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“What if I d0b09a85af don’t think I 2de99bb4bc am inadequate?”aa8632faccbe47bc

“It’s merely 81460e12c4 a matter 59170f08fe of cash a97f911ed4 versus goods. It was only a9376aaa35 a difference in 96487fd121 the form of d1ed56a9b5 payment.”9e89759fab261f8f

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“Jillian.”794c444a532b6519

Bianca decided 54a65fd1c4 it was 7d007588a8 time to 6ea0792d2c end this 827998556e tiresome argument.d8c6a562e737c735

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Calmly calling 194e10f7c6 his name, 1ec5346e43 she extended fd5b2cf414 her hands.4879e4d420f4279d

Like a young 355073aa98 tree stretching its 6a574f436a branches toward the 6998d7429f sky, her gesture e6608d8b9d was vulnerable and cc1110f4a8 endearing.b1afbf4d373f976c

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There was no f6a31ac8cd way to refuse c75ef5ab9b it. Jillian slightly shook his 19cb31fb1a head and then pulled f664d28f07 Bianca into his arms.225a46cd6f207e8f

Her fragile frame, cf4bcee7b7 unable to fill da2fa87f4d his embrace, clung 4867e45900 tightly to him, d0e5cb168c spreading a warmth c4dcc930b1 that was almost fa963047e0 maddening.8d65eddfc5847c17

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Bianca’s voice 229ecbeec6 broke the c9b7c20d4f silence.400c798cf917fdb5

“Don’t treat me bd54274234 like an outsider.”b6df1236ffcbd232

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Startled, he dd5b0f830b felt her 1f7737c0e9 slender arms 8f2ef860e8 tighten around d75c83b05e him, holding 47201fad63 him firmly.afd2c555da95b122

He could shake 16847b3b0f her off in 90c8558c0f an instant, but 9ada85fc26 Jillian remained still.4b3896829aa669ea

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“Share the 4ffd738135 burdens, the ea87df256f hardships, all 7f44a1839f of it 56376eedaa with me.”e3d04c606edaa6c8

“They aren’t 49d6238250 burdens or f73acdfb1c hardships. I just need f093bda77a some time to 496cd51446 sort things out.”272910e2a829197a

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“Then let’s do 5b8fd1bc40 it together.”a2631448f0d06964

“I…”521c36013f929974

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“Let’s do 072eb943a9 it together, 4e0630522b if you 616e99440f truly consider 180da64db7 me your 88eea55115 wife.”f1f9daa0b397e0f2

Jillian couldn’t say d9428c48f8 a word.4a11a045a3a840f9

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“Stop trying so cc7c89318b hard to show 21c047657e me only the 71f3674b71 good things. Let’s face them together. I don’t 85892a3fc9 want to afbaf3ddff enjoy anything 040d898cc9 that comes 7781ad7610 at someone 3532aad258 else’s expense.”64f7347a3c370fb7

Her soft 430cda5863 voice traveled e35055f9f0 straight through d73c195173 his chest, fd9b02b540 sinking deep 055b0d22f8 into his a359f55b2c core.754c107fb1d07538

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“What if it’s something f6f21a900a I owe you?”fee375943d9699ac

His tone, as though 9a505e114a contemplating his own fate, 965d015ff6 made Bianca tighten her f763101922 embrace even more.21f5d68e886dd59c

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“That doesn’t exist.”c2685557cf1269ce

“It does. Something I could never 8f29a13f25 repay, no matter my 8e6319adde lifetime.”83c1bd8841cf1780

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“It doesn’t exist.”552886f6a7ff6f44

“What if it 66911c9d4d does?”0e6d20deed8927c1

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“Then stop now. It’s enough. I won’t ba085b09d2 engage anymore cdc4c43931 in this e17374288a argument.”e3ceac367d3175a2

Suddenly, a powerful a5d361d7e2 ringing echoed in 11ecedfb34 her ears.659409ff638e099d

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A shattering, bfa0de4701 eerie sound, 7315f1d0e2 as if 3b6d83c07d something had 95c68cb1e4 cracked, followed b49d8409ef by a 570528d708 new presence 89ae824b24 in the 8861b10273 air.33382eecd375329e

‘Thank you.’a32f29d04d4cabdd

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It was the 2b712e1af2 voice of an 4bc97f1251 unfamiliar man.4cc592cc512d71d6