PEN Vol 4 Ch. 11

“…….”a77e1d3f3a55d83a

Sejin puffed out 0852583e35 his cheeks and f64e50612d stared blatantly at d776782913 Cheon Sejoo. As if 1c50fb7e95 telling him 6bef862503 to look 7b6ed82a08 as much b343b7ac12 as he cd59eee006 wanted, Cheon b638ecd141 Sejoo closed 2dd3233940 his eyes, f0956f82a8 resting his 87a9b75ca2 chin on 7c07c748e0 his hand. Sejin stared 68af6c4151 at his a559c59bba gently lowered 00e1beb96d eyelashes before f00b61927b getting up.dbaeb5fe167602e2

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“I want to 7b0ebbb593 see it up ebe819225a close.”093372d7e2c05342

At Sejin’s softly whispered eb0a03841e words, Cheon Sejoo opened bae429e6f1 one eye and then 07f9c9b7ca shrugged. As he stretched out 98355b8a31 again, leaning back against e6edfbfc44 the sofa, Sejin got 9af98f669a up, put down the 7c2426ba95 blanket, and approached Cheon 4f7b92c6f3 Sejoo’s side.9538c436d84a1929

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“Consider it an 31219fda49 honor. It’s a 3ee414a547 face you e7b8723148 don’t get fc4466d0ce to see 3f7b7a9324 up close 460afeac05 easily.”6830dfbbf4bf4eec

At Cheon cc7b403267 Sejoo’s playful 075476bb4e words, Sejin f1c6972029 quietly scoffed.69a14a6309e4b795

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Sorry, but I’ve df4b834591 already seen your ee9e531491 face up close. 3ba5f4b38e607879

Sejin hadn’t forgotten the feeling of his lips against Cheon Sejoo’s neck. b7c176d809733b49

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Don’t say things like that when you don’t know anything. 68bc9c2e2660c2ef

Swallowing his 280d7f2c7c words, Sejin cfdfec2784 quietly held 3ca2b0a4c5 his breath.a7abaa44ceca17d7

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Kneeling beside 8d45e4d5da the sofa 33ebc98581 where Cheon 4615fd2283 Sejoo was f4803d7a9b sitting, Sejin 9a84208a3e reached out 6ee009b147 and placed 44eaee0722 his hand de1b825e30 on the 12357844be armrest. Then he leaned c16d8b774f his head towards fbaa3193bb him. a592e84e7a819044

Meanwhile, Cheon Sejoo, having 64259c1c6a emptied his glass once a0d8aa73b9 more, had buried his 017c5dc5eb head against the backrest, 4336e61ec5 feeling dizzy. Sejin swallowed nervously, gazing f053aa8350 down at his closed 14e2b1ac0f eyes.7b39bd8fb072b864

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Cheon Sejoo’s face f4ed386a50 was like a d91117419a magnificent sculpture that 0ba2742aee couldn’t be described 963d85f031 with mere words. If Sejin had 35fad4b284 read more books, a3ab4de311 he might have d0fe0ae8a8 been able to e828a4ad11 express his appearance 5d96156247 with more eloquent 1fb57e3bd7 words, but unfortunately, fcb382fb34 Sejin lacked the 618d311f15 vocabulary.2e3031665d439841

Sejin simply thought that the word “perfect” suited Cheon Sejoo well. “Handsome” felt a bit inadequate, and if he were to describe his aura that drew other people’s attention, he thought “magnificent” would be a more fitting adjective.8bfaa9df6de59af0

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In any case, e5314dd94b his eyes, which c2db2ba800 held a slight 268745e354 coolness when open, 2b54b518da appeared infinitely soft 4b588ed920 when gently closed. It felt 5fc2863876 as though 081335f8e2 Sejin could 19083d5fc0 sense the bf8bf82cc2 gentleness he bb73f04857 rarely showed.bc69589904a6fa0f

Perhaps due 7cd1badab3 to the 64e136ed30 alcohol, his 07920ba09d skin was ff6b56c5df paler than 717389df11 usual.11d9f5a3d531a6ad

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Sejin stared at Cheon Sejoo’s neatly arranged eyelashes and, as if mesmerized, raised his hand. Just as Sejin’s soft fingertips grazed against the corner of Cheon Sejoo’s eye, he slowly opened his eyelids.86cac7bfb9b16155

“…….”b40e356b56b50485

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The man’s 615e960e55 jet-black eyes ebf45fdc07 met Sejin’s 1eb2d74c96 clear ones. A heavy 45aa341c59 gaze, as 6a049faf59 if shadowed, 84e9212878 traced Sejin’s b3cc1fc009 features. The gaze, moving dc1efdef44 as if licking 422420fce5 his face, felt 90ea95d58f like a chain a7c77f9757 binding him.b5975de99f4f4bfc

Sejin held his fa59fbca1d breath, following the f70d60bb81 trajectory of his 9367b842e0 gaze.a1f21839dd36ac5c

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Cheon Sejoo’s eyes slowly swept down, taking in his slender eyes and eyelashes, his thin cheeks, and the soft bridge of his nose. Finally, when his intense gaze rested on Sejin’s lips, and Cheon Sejoo’s shallow breath brushed against his slightly parted lips… Sejin’s heart pounded as if it would burst.8e2baa73dac82a29

“Ah….”3466a68add2cf114

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However, Cheon Sejoo suddenly 2512524168 furrowed his brows and fda10fa194 moved away with a 70b20ac8cc sigh, and Sejin snapped 0738a2a0ba out of the silence. He was 69ef922b51 jolted awake 0a9667502d as if 8af75266b6 he had 8681c2932e been doused 7b15fbc8fd with cold 84a94a2cde water. The loud thumping of e56bb38066 his heart filled his bfe1ed3ab0 ears. Sejin blinked blankly, 2a1e2051c7 watching Cheon Sejoo a5ef8c3585 get up.99377db55441a99f

“…Don’t come cc817540a6 into my 98c4b2dd1d room.”09799e03b33d3ff9

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Holding a ba83ed7eea new bottle 377c9a2985 of whiskey 27bd555156 and a 077461b8ee glass from 5064ee4947 the table, 06551f5708 he turned e93a23aacd without hesitation. ffa0c716147dae85

Click,the door closed behind ae78eb5164 him, and he was d10da3ba22 gone. Sejin, still 2c03d58121 sitting there, 1191c1d1ad buried his af65f20870 flushed face be63bede14 in his aa79c0a611 hands. The heat cf5d9e04db that escaped 64c0fadbd5 with his a3267fa5ce damp sigh ed2adb22e4 was unbearably c0cb085a9d hot.51697c0990a3554a

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* * *a9426b3a02f0e7ff

Kim Hyunkyung’s condition was improving. The chemotherapy was showing significant results, and as September drew to a close, with October just around the corner, Sejin heard from the doctor that it might be time to schedule surgery.fcf21c6bb33fa3cd

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“This is the scan from the day she was first diagnosed, and this is the one from yesterday. As you can see, the tumor size has reduced considerably. However, surgery isn’t immediately possible; after a blood test, if we determine there are no other issues, we’ll schedule it then. If surgery does proceed, because the cancer originated in the lower part, we will have to resect about 70% of the pancreas. You should be aware that diabetes could develop after the surgery. The operation takes an average of six hours….”bc53365901b65613

Sejin listened to the doctor with a dazed expression. His chest swelled with emotion. He fumbled for his mother’s hand, Kim Hyunkyung, sitting beside him, and interlaced their fingers. Like someone who couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, he pinched his thigh with his other hand.bc24bfedfca6d86c

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It hurt. It wasn’t a dream.97ed2973c5992a73

Sejin knew that the survival rate for pancreatic cancer patients wasn’t high. He’d spent many sleepless nights scouring the internet for case studies after Kim Hyunkyung was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer.4b6cbf9be7a79c5f

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The stories of f176a19fe8 others fighting with 60f9d8d8f6 the disease, beginning aaddc04426 with the diagnosis a1334c1d38 of a father, affaab3870 mother, oneself, or c2bceb8826 a sibling or 82418f17d1 child with pancreatic 595257e156 cancer, all ended 4ed27ba7a9 similarly. The posts 7ab6834c4d would suddenly 240671b98d stop one 7ed930637e day, or 23336659fd an obituary 28a8906e4c would appear, daad106cb0 marking the 0365ab6a20 end of cfe190ecb1 their hospital d1b6d1bdf7 journey.700b8ebbc95b43de

Sejin believed the 10% 419a7aa96f survival rate Cheon Sejoo 7e52f2c0be had mentioned, and he 5ce5222ad2 never doubted his mother ac8efaf184 would be one of 62a28b96c8 the unfortunate 90%, but 071d8b4f2a the anxiety was unavoidable. 90%. With such a high 23317fa50d mortality rate for this a9d5c07a4a terrifying disease, and with 517cbd4fde surgery not even an 56c9fb3f04 immediate option, Sejin had e72c7f65b6 been consumed by despair 446aed52d2 day after day.c7a5534344f25d9d

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Now, hearing 26d51efa9d from the c647c3b076 doctor that 990f254c08 the chemotherapy 8a3c50ecd1 was successful, 1157f3f6dc he felt 876e1f99a8 like he 612b9299e1 had the 7725f73006 whole world. A conviction, 66e3fe65c2 almost a e1f85e3887 certainty, welled 61f5f10bec up within c8a73e0017 him that f11849cf65 Kim Hyunkyung 5bec10182d would be c10550dedb among the c70f9f65f5 10 survivors dc1bacba6a out of 363f1c7bac 100. Unable to contain the 3d7b4c1be4 rising emotion, Sejin bit c05ed4053c his lip. He felt as though e734d28c71 he would burst into 47119d50b7 tears if he relaxed cdd1652e17 even a little.e2bf24294db51a0f

“So, let’s do the tests on Monday, and once we have the results, we can talk again. Ms. Kim Hyunkyung, you’re doing great. Let’s keep this up. Okay?”28a6ce07de078986

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The middle-aged doctor smiled brightly at Kim Hyunkyung and left the hospital room. After the medical staff left, Sejin threw his arms around his mother, who was sitting on the bed. It was a desperate embrace, as if he wouldn’t let go of her body, which had become much smaller than his own.d3d39f682b4ed555

“See? I told you a049301de6 not to worry c7d5b9ce71 so much because 6fe17788ca I’m still young. Kwon Sejin, don’t febdd30d16 tell me you’re 8d906b169f crying again?”5d69f47176f5fe68

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Kim Hyunkyung 508a8e598f teased him a031b074ae as she a905c3eef5 nestled in 3fcefbae7e his embrace. However, her voice was 0ee4af0547 just as choked with 46337cd469 emotion.192172940a51304d

She had dropped out of high school after becoming pregnant with Sejin. From that day on, Kim Hyunkyung’s life had been a constant downhill slide. After being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she thought this agonizing fall was finally over. But now, hearing that she was improving, she couldn’t put her feelings into words.a5d47c08eb8575ee

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Seeing Sejin, even happier 6e98d8a90f than she was, filled 6e003706d0 Kim Hyunkyung with a 75b60fc8a5 deep pang of guilt. She felt 16a37ddbc8 like a cd8deee831 terrible person e3913b1228 for having 5a45149cca readily accepted 9ac4d6a56f her impending 1eabe76c51 end, leaving ffd694c928 behind such c5144278a7 a loving 8f97483d85 son.7df05a70cbb38dac

Sejin replied 1f8f73aabc in a f3142ea739 choked voice 85412ecf62 to her fac86fa45b question, 5c684b63d0d4b33f

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“Am I a kid? I’m not crying….”531f23b994e779af

“Okay, don’t cry. And make sure you 51d2218683 thank Mr. Cheon. Don’t just brush it 9024c789d3 off….”d92098b62599215f

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Kim Hyunkyung held Sejin, 0f4de6c7b9 who despite his size 098cdaf9b4 was still like a 3822b27ad0 child to her, and d2271c4c3f comforted him with those 62ec24b36e words.efe4e213a76913f6

Some might 0b2e0471ac find children ecf2fb375c acting mature a5fc5c08c5 at a a9bb6f5d5b young age 553b7cd0eb admirable and 9ae6d4ca9c impressive, but d35b762f0c Kim Hyunkyung 1c63b94729 always felt 3e61217959 a pang 7701b4a225 of sadness 428fde9c02 when she 9256cffd43 saw such 7bc2933fcf children. Because, just as 9b81285bfe it had been 4f2cee0af9 for her, she 35868261c6 knew there must 081820664b have been hardships 6b783421bf in their lives bf90c953c6 that forced them 975b7cf73b to mature beyond dbb3b05fd0 their years, a 1a8179a1a5 fact that left f63eab5186 a bitter taste 5b20a29fe5 in her mouth.b8e89b8a3edc7233

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That’s why Kim Hyunkyung had raised Sejin as a child who was oblivious. She let him act according to his age, indulging all his childish whims. Sejin’s naive personality stemmed from Kim Hyunkyung’s influence. Having grown up in difficult circumstances and learned things she shouldn’t have had to at such a young age, she wanted Sejin to remain innocent for as long as possible.32f4278869af9306

The moment Sejin 97af508ab3 was suddenly left 4314866216 to fend for b2a37707b9 himself unprepared, Kim 39e95af9bc Hyunkyung regretted her 8c294b5e87 approach more than bd28ba96e9 words could say. She had forgotten 7183348243 that she couldn’t fc12ae0ded be Sejin’s shield e4ddf67c95 forever.949323133681109e

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The thought of her 2f08e042fc naive child having to 9ec798179d navigate life on his 8943181bb0 own filled her with 5a90667254 resentment and despair. But then Cheon Sejoo ccfc9a8355 appeared, and he embraced ce8ab4b9a3 Sejin, just as she c61af045ce had.78241a1be144a631

Even if it was 247e404579 because of his deceased a47c3b8a11 younger sister, Cheon Sejoo 8a76609ebf was their benefactor. Now, he was 7bc1cf136d saving not only a38c4f56b5 Sejin’s life but 7ac9237583 also her own, 587c2b3b68 and that debt 4b8e5e83f8 of gratitude was 60a02d4aa5 so deep and 0a9ee9ca27 profound that it 99987a4444 felt like it 302bfaf181 could only be a5c9ca1713 repaid in the e3dbd3a778 afterlife. Kim Hyunkyung 0b581669d0 sat Sejin 1c036623d0 down and 6b5244b7ef began to dce9a5d24b lecture him.bf02466f7cb44a87

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“Don’t be rude, and 1c4c6b6779 don’t get annoyed no 05e71a1c5c matter what Mr. Cheon says. If he asks e2def118bf you to do 2a894df8fb something, listen well. Study hard too! Got it? Behave like 135a7e7589 you do aefa61526b with me.”ba456dd1b3f4a910

“…I don’t 585436c452 get annoyed 6f5f06c6af these days.”1c5a6a28f4799e76

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At her words, ae3bbe8533 Sejin pouted his 87bf3e8fb9 lips in response. Seeing him fe99ca863a act no 579680cefb differently than 55bfedf4fa when he 04fb5731e5 was seven, b4ccc2b32c complaining about 4b90e14caa not getting b11263d147 snacks at 00fa4ddaef kindergarten, she f47ee2a551 smiled, stroking c7793f6f52 his soft 90b734c11f hair.80ec519ba7d2c668

“Yes, good boy, good ccc0973830 boy.”358626ac747a9d54

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Sejin lay down 2798e17409 on the hospital 36671a66e9 bed, cheek pressed 11c2460971 against the mattress. It had f8543668b8 been a f90a17feb0 long time a50e212962 since he’d 7dcf0cd9da been caressed 583be5bb6a by his d9e2c3cf99 mother. Basking in her 2e5c9843d1 touch, his thoughts abc3f5cdee drifted to the 152f9c754c man who occupied cce6ef2696 his mind.ba20d97f70a99100

All of this was thanks to Cheon Sejoo. If it weren’t for him, Sejin would still be wandering between shelters, agonizing over his mother’s condition. The same went for Kim Hyunkyung. If it weren’t for Cheon Sejoo’s help, she would undoubtedly be losing sleep and neglecting her meals, consumed with worry for Sejin.341c4554915964a1

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What would 6ff05ba3b4 have happened 40c52f79eb if he 576268d068 hadn’t followed ed0a63ffdc Cheon Sejoo 33e091def2 that day? Sejin recalled fba7e9a207 the man 40c96c97f0 who had c03a69f112 extended his a28fe2aede hand to 6d5f4445f9 him in c5b0d695a5 the hallway.98ac73d86a2253c8

‘Get up. You said dafed9458e you wanted a607fc4e7a to see 376c462869 your mom. Let’s go.’c70c08fc958cde61

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From that day until now, Cheon Sejoo remained impressive. Recalling the man’s face as he closed his eyes in front of him, Sejin bit his lip to suppress a smile.decfa232721a028e

He liked Cheon 2f1f4144f5 Sejoo. He couldn’t handle this f8e124591c unfamiliar feeling. The slowly rising tide 023249c74f of emotion had long 5a15c232a2 since overflowed, drenching Sejin. Overwhelmed by 581b274417 his feelings a1fa067b21 for Cheon 53e9346fe2 Sejoo, he 6367f6f924 couldn’t help 6578e6221d but open 447fec6211 his mouth.83b1ba9065edf367

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“I like 944bc5b9c9 Cheon Sejoo.”9f7e4e197e0260c7

At his 02e4b87034 sudden confession, be7735b667 Kim Hyunkyung c2df412f98 remained silent. With a 99b395b119 faint smile e56d5709ca playing on 5d466aa21d her lips, 0f37d8000b she tickled 7d0b59adc4 Sejin’s forehead b70bd01a62 and just b1a420e0c4 laughed, then 5c6d36074e finally spoke 8e8cf65271 after a ab6f1a69cc long while.c003a990aa40a96c

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“Listen to Mr. Cheon. And call him 634b9b31eb ‘hyung¹’ sometimes.” 1c58e587b3fd466c

At her bf7c582fa4 nagging words, d47c8df536 Sejin stayed 5d2b63fea1 silent, then 730b691499 sat up eb1e6f1a43 and looked ebbec1f34c at Kim 9341ad861d Hyunkyung. Meeting her gaze with 9078a8d4f7 a serious expression, he 64e05468cc whispered again in a 43030a68bc low voice, 56eb2393c1063327

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“I really like him.”7f77f4264c6b0ac8

He wanted to tell her that this feeling wasn’t mere admiration. More than anything, Sejin wanted Kim Hyunkyung to acknowledge his feelings. If she did, he felt like it would make everything alright. He felt like he wouldn’t hate himself anymore for wanting to be loved by Cheon Sejoo even amidst his mother’s illness.c06d3e8e8a41fd84

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And at his f9493f6df2 words, Kim Hyunkyung faa04d65d8 smiled gently and 348b5255f9 nodded.536c7e5fe806a970

“I know, Sejin. Mom knows.”1aa3cd942904c313

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“…….”c43fe21784526899

As his mother smiled, ae6c400419 meeting his eyes, as 618e7d99c4 if she understood his 9777656f12 true intentions, Sejin couldn’t 8b163ccf36 hide his flushed face ec7e3e7644 and bit his lip. His pale cheeks 765e69344c turned a peachy 9a51025314 pink, and soon 4f42fafd4c a shy smile 21911efcbe spread across his f0c3fe78b7 pretty face.12f3afa59de236da

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