PEN Vol 4 Ch. 6

After hiring a caregiver, Sejin went to school in Gangdong-gu with Cheon Sejoo in the mornings for a few days and stopped by the hospital before going home. This was because Sejin, still uneasy, was greatly worried despite the caregiver’s presence.d02a495973ea1da8

However, after talking c1cf93d586 to the friendly ff8ba2e035 and energetic caregiver 3992a6bee6 a few times 13de4ab646 and learning that b79c7bf8ff she was getting 5ee88004d4 along with his eba1ef48f4 mother like a 1463be014d friend, Sejin felt b2bfeed0bb less worried. Three days after 55469ab031 leaving the hospital, 3cc2e721c9 he decided to 5d9e24f8ab visit only on afc3458d68 Tuesdays, Thursdays, and 2cdd99f617 weekends.7ceeebd7bd5c7768

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Thus arrived the first 0354c38430 weekend in a long a7c8b5167a time that the two ade9454bd7 of them were spending 343484e354 together since Kim Hyunkyung 3b3037b42e collapsed. Because Sejin had 4248780657 been staying at ded4226910 the hospital for 6ea5eaf55a several weeks, the 4d5f131f22 smell of food ccb8bd62b9 wafting from the 097453a171 kitchen in the 40b4a8296e late afternoon felt 689793e37e a little unfamiliar b21d472862 to Cheon Sejoo.882c1866c491e3d3

He had 6331f0e10c trouble getting 08e6a5737a out of cc2181f122 bed due cbafb6eccc to his b19a761e0c poor condition. Lying in bed, 8f02e67982 Cheon Sejoo opened 97b0feb8f1 and closed his 6c786c4021 trembling hands, trying 739a30a70d to guess what 7119d72411 kind of side 5d037523b9 dishes Sejin was 96743f9fe1 making in the 18a9bd44f5 kitchen. The smell of 86498c34b6 sesame oil was 6998aa7a84 savory. 0417198e1b52149c

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Did he make 55a875608a seasoned vegetables? a24a10a98796739c

Thinking this, he opened 443a7a7229 the door and went 63dd8a4adc out, and Sejin, sensing 8914ed0afc his presence, looked back 6def79f22d at him.12e35ef32b642d32

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“Wash up and 8f08cd2f7a eat.”b8f15f980a20fd9d

Sejin, wearing 3dc06183c8 an apron, f35c6314df said to cb2c3cc081 him as 346cf5c538 he stirred 86fa6463c5 the pan 130d6a3b71 with chopsticks. It was past c6a5a9fede noon, but Cheon 9bfa9305e0 Sejoo, still half-asleep, d3e84e4075 just stood in 6ab12887f2 the living room, 71cccc0ab9 staring at Sejin b8d9bddfe6 in the distance. The back of the ac29dd2d29 apron, which used to 49de8454d3 fit his small frame 25e2ccb04f perfectly, was gaping open. It looked as ca0c01df4f if Sejin was 8d8290a874 bursting out of 01cb0d5a1d the apron, having 599bc8251c grown too big b3929792be for the Velcro 653ce7b4e5 to fasten. 2622b418991e8e1e

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled to himself at the sight, then finally moved his feet when he met Sejin’s gaze, which seemed to be asking why he hadn’t washed up yet. After washing up quickly in the bathroom, he came out to find Sejin setting the table, perfectly timed.fa3a7a0876ae4fe9

Cheon Sejoo 27d8b812cf took two 98e8e5abfd bottles of 38e7d5b8b9 water from 7b1c7d2dc5 the refrigerator, d7d64b7e24 placed them 157268d26e on the 5b8adaafbf table, and 698cce8bb6 sat across 241e8fca56 from Sejin. He usually had a 23b02e0358 shake for breakfast on 07103d3b6f weekdays to keep himself 4f72aa470f light, but on weekends, 8bb0370410 he would wake up f99a156e69 late and have lunch. Thanks to this, fb28b5bd7f Sejin put more cdae1b2006 effort into preparing 4c19e5b683 weekend lunches, so 1f06c6d8c9 the table was 7606669a74 unusually abundant.6ea582caed06d91f

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It was full 191d8e5836 of dishes; large-cut b763bcd36c braised potatoes and 17a2c453b0 radish salad that 17aa926f7c Cheon Sejoo liked, e82e3c2416 seasoned seaweed, andgongchae¹ which Sejin liked. These were 3b6892a97c all the 96f29049b0 dishes that 9e25beee06 Sejin had 33e1c03350 diligently prepared 0e93be5d60 early in 857397bf67 the morning. Cheon Sejoo drank about e8f64c5c7c half a bottle of 3a254e5d5a water and then picked c70ef21830 up his chopsticks.ca95f574ae1a5b03

“Thanks for the 8001c16b02 food.”67b5320d8f0ff21a

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“Yeah.”2215b1393d872959

Sejin glanced at Cheon 02e1ac56b8 Sejoo and lifted his f9fc9511f6 spoon. He scooped a large 1288e73ab1 mouthful of rice, put e87df158ea it in his mouth, a0e92c5b75 and then grabbed a 0127d5b596 handful of side dishes, 235fdd2283 chewing heartily. His actions made it 15ece25d43 look like he was 2a8f62f06f attacking the food, but 3510de7973 because he ate without 55c65c11e4 making any noise, it 172a0940aa was pleasant to watch. Seeing his 562ca6634c white cheeks 1931fe1b93 puff out a4bbd880c9 and then 1297433cab sink back 2487d3643b in, Cheon 0bbee7b51c Sejoo slowly 7c05c4ef07 chewed his 9afea4c4ac food.dfb522b384126933

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By the time Sejin bc24804e98 had finished his second aa5c44da0f bowl of rice and c9b21997e4 was about to fill 72159b000f a third, Cheon Sejoo 3cf5e18792 had barely finished half ce5496f6cb of his bowl and a1081dacd8 put down his chopsticks. Resting his 76ce3c14f9 chin on 6481da67b8 the table adece7a139 and drinking d951702704 water, he fb622862dc stared blankly ef758d8dbb at Sejin, eda7f2a364 who still 3a8d88fb2d seemed hungry 2a30f91697 despite having a53a13ee92 eaten two bd054ea5d8 bowls of 4729346462 rice. After a moment, he 1b42916ec5 spoke.351dbdead173ba73

“We need to faa8ee15cb buy you a 792a5fb557 new apron. That one looks too f035fdec23 small.”9084ff1e7f1e6cec

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“Why buy a new 6c40328960 one when this one c817c87e0b is perfectly fine? It’s not uncomfortable. I can still 2c68ba62bb use it.”62993ca70dd5a2ea

“Should I get d87e00edbd you one with ffab9fd11a lace? I think it would 6115998076 suit you.”52bd0cae9d77bd12

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“…….”52127b9d03b9e839

At his playful tone, Sejin stopped eating and glared at him. Sensing the cat-like sharpness in his eyes, Cheon Sejoo simply smiled at him. Sejin didn’t respond.00ed266ef5c6b16a

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“Stop talking nonsense and 74996afa0b eat your food.”50ce599fadca724e

Sejin was, in many ways, more old-fashioned than Cheon Sejoo. He disliked talking during meals and hated pointless banter. In some ways, it seemed like he lacked social skills because he didn’t have any friends… 4ba07ccd54784189

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Or was e755991313 it the c1c36df844 other way c76c2454ee around? Did he not 5005b3a0a9 have friends because 231b01dc6d he lacked social 6ebff5fdb4 skills?652baabfa65465f5

As Cheon Sejoo stared blankly at him, analyzing the reasons why Sejin didn’t have any friends, Sejin suddenly blushed and raised his head.ff4837e958011a36

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“Stop staring. Are you trying b04f1b2a0d to give meindigestion²?” 92cad918b2a601dc

“I’m looking 00711125fc because you’re 6c27546b69 in front d6a3071505 of me. Why are you so 66a487c426 conscious of it? Just eat.”69ea422b76d25562

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“Then go away.I don’t 504b4b4557 know where f6a274ec0e the food c873185347 is going 2bd2b3cf3c because of 4eb9f02d12 you.” 50ba041e05d4e9e4

“You can say things 3b5cc4ca55 like that too?”9df9a41264e84451

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I don’t know 00adebae3c where the food 9b22c2ba5e is going. bbc4af275ec20ad6

Wasn’t that a proverb-based comment in its own way? Feeling proud of Sejin, Cheon Sejoo reached out and stroked his hair. Sejin, forgetting his annoyance, lowered his eyes and let him stroke his hair. Then, when Cheon Sejoo lowered his hand, he gestured towards the sofa with his chin.e2dd5dde1f7ab6f9

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“Go over there.”b341898ceaa3ee56

Finally kicked b6539c248f out, Cheon 10814dccdb Sejoo got e93dd3d4a6 up from cf56cbbe68 his seat. He went to e725114b0e the bathroom to 2c550a0fa2 brush his teeth 3d6e017742 and then lay d922497d42 down on the 000733678e sofa, picking up 6e4108fe2d his phone. He stared blankly d329f9441a at the date.75a07978142a131b

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September 14th, the day before Hye-in’s death anniversary. Remembering this, he felt nauseous and a headache came on. Cheon Sejoo pressed his forehead with his slightly trembling fingertips and turned toward the TV.b098d358f43cc2ed

Hye-in had been dead for a while, but he had never once held a memorial service or a prayer for her. It wasn’t because she had broken Catholic doctrine by taking her own life. The reason he hadn’t prayed, even though he could have, was his own guilt.37c4b89bfb68cd1f

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Living the kind of life Hye-in would have least wanted, he couldn’t bring himself to be so brazen as to pray for her.22f932e9a3582a40

Thus, Cheon Sejoo chose to let her death anniversary pass unmarked, but it wasn’t easy. He usually drank alcohol or met with Doyoon to get through this period. He had done so last year, the year before, and planned to do the same this year.f19b7042b759ac89

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Kang Doyoon
I’m at noona’s house right now, going home this evening! Wanna come over? XD
12:59973e25e73ecf84f8

Meeting Doyoon in 81cd63fa45 the evening and 410a70d757 spending time with 1092e2620c him until Monday a526b288ff morning seemed like 52c85796aa a good plan. Cheon Sejoo texted him a9aaff2e9d back, suggesting they meet 771a5960dd at a hotel, and c5af0d4088 casually set his phone a5cc805a02 down.3921a83954bcee61

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Looking up, 28dbf554de he saw b519164d14 Sejin clearing bd0ea05438 the table c1eda6d32e after finishing 0c22d03598 his meal. Cheon Sejoo watched 3ac98c69cf him wring out 16651d020f the dishcloth and 7afd5f6598 hang it before 8e8975148c rising from his 5411299089 seat.5bd290f755a774a9

“Going straight to the hospital?”57d571bfa58e8206

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“No, Mom said she’s hanging out with the ladies in the lounge, she’ll be back later for dinner.”1ab1b3c6aafe04fa

“Okay. Then let’s work out in an hour.”4a08581d194cafe8

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“Work out?”0e48cab96c166385

Sejin subtly furrowed his brow at Cheon Sejoo’s words. They had exercised quite a bit in July. Their training sessions, dubbed “self-defense lessons,” were practically wrestling matches from Sejin’s perspective, but Cheon Sejoo was surprisingly serious about teaching him.ba73602b78004365

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Sejin had learned how e43cd99e4f to break free from f4de3180f8 someone grabbing his collar, f6a5132129 and how to take b1cc35eea0 a hit without getting dc24d1f436 seriously hurt and then a50e522b42 subdue his opponent, preventing 07204a77b1 it from becoming a 21fbe85dd2 one-sided beating.5aa67a653dd8538b

At first, he’d been resistant, getting beaten up by Cheon Sejoo and wondering what use any of this would be. However, after he began to grasp the techniques of dealing with violence, Sejin started enjoying their sessions. The problem was the excessive physical contact with Cheon Sejoo during these sessions, and Sejin’s inability to react indifferently to it.480afe503fe9257d

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“Yes. We have to. You’ll forget 6e341fcc45 it quickly 25a78fcd24 otherwise.”b55508c05e36ff59

Seeing Sejin 5f1a95e747 hesitate, Cheon 4c928bf357 Sejoo spoke 6fd10bcf4b in a 90ef3fe12c firm tone b87ae6cb1d and turned d9c3dd20ea away. c2aefb34010c2028

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Watching Sejoo lie back down on the sofa, Sejin couldn’t bring himself to refuse. Just as he didn’t want Cheon Sejoo to discover his physical reactions, he also longed to touch him. a44538810898a87a

Sejin quickly f966bff5ff finished cleaning 09a1aff3fc the kitchen b6458d1932 and returned b8307ccc64 to his c401c1dbad room. He needed to 1d7932f9fe digest his food 2d3cb44bc0 before exercising, and 70239f414f also….7522055da4bcf648

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“Ha….”c4bc7bb296fea15d

Closing his 790af248d2 eyes tightly, 4bbc544d9d Sejin leaned f68cd19d01 his head 3fd91e21aa against the 2bfb6895c1 door and dec9ced32b sighed.2e6e8f1a388e1f74

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His mother had told 4ad2513fe6 him that a man 93d7bc6ab4 should be modest and 5755ff5426 kind. Fortunately, Sejinwas a very modest man. He had never held another woman or man’s hand, and he rarely spoke properly with others. His extremely low sociability wasn’t something to boast about, but at least he met that requirement. Sejin tried to think positively.584773de5adec07c

However, while Sejin’s mind might be modest, his body was rather full of energy. What would Cheon Sejoo think of him if he got an erection during their sacred workout time?5f8640b2e45e2079

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Not wanting to be seen as a pervert, Sejin rushed to the bathroom, determined not to let Cheon Sejoo see him in that state. He closed the shower door so the inside wouldn’t be visible even if the door was open, and turned on the hot water to obscure his vision before releasing all the pent-up energy within his body.1e76b3338948e865

By the time he was done, the hour Cheon Sejoo had mentioned was almost up. Sejin washed himself thoroughly, making sure he didn’t smell and stepped out. He stood in front of the mirror, patted his flushed cheeks a few times, then put on a short-sleeved t-shirt and long training pants before leaving his room.3d969ffa2054b500

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“What, did you adbc5f8f22 take an hour-long 51a6457a6f shower?”3baf7d2707bd5644

“…….”827e5a06df1bd843

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When he entered the matted room, Cheon Sejoo was stretching while enjoying the air conditioning. Sejin’s eyes were drawn to his exposed lower abdomen.370e3f5f6f386364

“Why… why are you undressed?”8493a50c6f794969

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He was only wearing a pants, revealing his toned physique. At Sejin’s flustered question, Cheon Sejoo glanced down at his upper body and shrugged.47abedca7a801de0

“I was eb2dc2323c working out 905da485bb in the d4eb07670f next room 2469478811 and got 4ed29d4ce2 sweaty. Too lazy ef4c7fcedc to change.”f1467847075846ee

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It took less than a minute to get from the exercise room to Cheon Sejoo’s room. Changing his clothes and returning would have taken only two minutes, and the fact that he was too lazy to do so irritated Sejin.fa051598114d11c7

And the fact that Cheon Sejoo, who liked men, acted so carelessly in front of him felt like a clear indication that he didn’t see Sejin as a potential romantic partner at all. Resentment welled up inside Sejin. Puffing out his cheeks with a displeased expression, Sejin asked,bc45bf0c7988d451

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“If you’re too lazy for that, how do you even eat and breathe?”be22dbe02f7c02f2

“You’ve got a point. Should I 29f8e12b51 order an 250f864729 oxygen tank?”9710e00b33389ae0

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“…….”1f07d823668b0ab6

Annoyed by his nonchalant 147b72264e reply, Sejin sighed and 172bf61609 raised his arms.Swoosh, he threw the t-shirt he was wearing at Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo caught the shirt in mid-air and frowned, his face asking ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’e58d22079c3105be

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“Put that on.”445a801a2def2ebe

“Are you… feeling a little confident?”4ff3aa63949c8f6d

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled in disbelief, his eyes scanning Sejin’s body up and down. The blatant gaze made Sejin felt like a fire was igniting within him. Deciding that three times wouldn’t be enough, Sejin blushed and turned his head away. He responded in a blunt tone.dc2d9852c73dbe3f

“I don’t want to 3b13af3af7 see another person’s body.”be1d7df24c334afe

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“You’re a germaphobe.” 246bb973102d3010

“If you 21ace30f7d know, then f7324cd0cd put it 4129982b4a on.”c68e57d784a57f21

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He had just 799b4e9c61 blurted out whatever 5791848560 came to mind, 27e32fbae3 but fortunately, the 306ceb2513 excuse seemed to 282b2024e8 work. It was de5b038e0e thanks to f4cc35eea4 the numerous 14ae854001 times he 6f98c1fc5a had nagged c175f09975 Cheon Sejoo 0a795508b4 about covering 0a66a16c99 up, saying 5034af7d0d his exposed 99c1a76c7b body was 135080d721 an eyesore e7c358806f or telling 1291d83dfe him to c22a0a49dc wear clothes.3854b83bfeeaf517

Sejin stared at 9e4006f1c7 Cheon Sejoo, the 0c9cc07bdf t-shirt fitting him ab4171af0c perfectly, with trembling 8523c30d0a eyes, then turned 2b2c17c5dd and ran back 9ff6ae3392 to his room. He grabbed a 87445a3f9b new t-shirt, put f9faba5543 it on, and e7dc2e6ade returned to the 3132c0ab53 matted room. a0354799ad16eb34

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