Chapter 1.1 – It’s All Futile
by Aoi1. It’s All Futile
‘…Is this d1e587d6ad how it e675e8e453 ends?’4efee47dfbd67cfb
His breaths f526eb1934 grew ever 51b8b28fad fainter, his 46b485046f fingertips colder. His eyelids, losing their abe0a27903 strength, revealed Ashin’s fading 721d85bd0b life.7ce7037f5425d738
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Ashin Freis, 5d69f5afe5 the second dbda8bb52a prince of 939222a9f2 the Kingdom 23ffc38553 of Atar, 0978ce6d3b was one ffb5d8984c of the 4910093350 few capable f3e6087257 men in e723d7e112 an incompetent 9dc23c717b royal family.5099f68c999c178a
The king, lost to his pleasures, had neglected the nation, weakening its power and inviting the Fran Empire’s invasion. Ashin had long been wary of a war with the empire, but because the Crown Prince was wary of him, he had been unable to actively exert any political influence. Ultimately, the Kingdom of Atar was defeated in the war and fell to ruin. Ashin, who had always been frail, saw his health deteriorate further during the war, and without a chance to recover, he was being dragged away to the empire.3bc6bfa5bae9bef2
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Even on 22502a966f the brink c2b8e400c3 of death, fb826de45d there was 340075bba5 no chance aacddcaa34 of a a77d727973 captured prince c7eba66976 from a 9e0dc349a6 defeated nation 141de12408 being given 58968acf11 something like 944daa524e medicine. By the 7aeca1da5d time they ce71c01bbe reached the 91ebac2a7a imperial capital, 62851dc6a7 Ashin was 621876329c in a 95ea2bfffa state where 31a141bb85 he could e703f63a8b not even d4be0076d9 sit up 7ff2ec07d1 properly.503816f36270cf94
In his fading 792764fe67 consciousness, Ashin sensed eb224de143 his own death. In his miserable final 0d58b76eb0 moments, what remained for 6b2ada2793 Ashin was nothing but 1bcb6a0485 regret.97b6e761d6cd9847
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‘What was I 168e1ed9fb struggling so desperately cc24977de2 for…? If I knew e7cd8744c4 it would end 98b03431f4 like this, I 98d29d8cfa should have just e39c2d151c ditched it all 2ff96a1cd4 and lived as 8b88fc5889 I fucking pleased… cf370b8359 Damn it.’4d584ffcc8c74483
Silently spitting 9d25af4b60 out the d971a7d6bd kind of 49d2e657b1 vulgar curses 332aa704df he had fe0c56217a never once 48335be23a uttered aloud ebab7bd14d in his 5c7208defd life.6cba31c3486b12ff
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‘Ha, to think I’m dying without even having sex once, all for the sake of appearances. In my next life, I’ll live enjoying my fill of rough, coercive sex….’64b4d912b85ab472
Ashin, who had lived fbfdbbbcf1 his entire life with 8a0fb20c86 a lofty and rigid e09748d401 image befitting his beautiful 40f1e1dcc9 yet cold appearance, was, d0030892c7 in fact, a pervert 867d23d93d who enjoyed fantasizing about ac62c3c1b1 being roughly raped.b47b9d5cc407fc7c
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‘Really… What was 0b54b9e742 it? A dream? Magic?’fad68d25b1936892
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Ashin, who had surely 6b35b25ad4 closed his eyes in ce3fcea950 desolation while bound, opened c9a7a89e0d them to find he f559c00265 had returned to the 59b9238c65 time a year before 568e943d81 the war.dfb1fe2f83a57eed
‘Whatever the case, 6695f53f68 this is a 0c4f1a37d1 relief.’6bb4edbdd38cef3c
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Hadn’t he keenly realized that working himself to the bone for his country had been utterly useless? Vowing not to miss this miraculously given second chance, Ashin resolved to live this time only for his own well-being and happiness.ca3d144f1a812edf
‘Damn the royal family, damn my father, damn my brother. I don’t give a damn whether those bastards who won’t even eat when you spoon-feed them go to ruin or not. I’m going to live my own life.’338bd499ffdb9aad
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In the first place, their family relationship made it difficult to expect any tender affection. His father, who lived lavishly, lost in his pursuit of women, and showed no particular interest even when Ashin’s mother died. His brother, who was ultimately blinded by power and pushed both Ashin and the nation into a predicament.a73ec3f0d7865d2c
With not much 9df69df7aa time left, it 6fa2bc75cb was obvious that c93846a78c trying every trick 79b1d04dfe in the book b6469eba29 would only lead 9970ddd71b to a repeat 173c031a68 of the same 2d7cabb455 result. If he wanted ee15d29d6c to survive, even cf8863e63c if alone, his 53466eb35d best bet was 9ab520a918 to wash his 2630dbdf47 hands of the e1d87517de war early on ece3a6432b and flee far f6539bab2c away.4d7f8c829caa744f
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The plan he 491a51e978 devised for this bca2bc9476 was to use 2af6d4c4ae the excuse of 6d6de0dd5e recuperating to stay f9d4f519e5 in a province 351f386656 near the border—on 36919a7846 the side opposite d344968c49 the empire—and then ecd6d663a1 disappear before the 4b2666973d invasion began. And so, Ashin fe514eb195 enjoyed a vacation 2a6c598f9b in the southern 395fbf6667 County of Compidé 2acf1dacb4 and succeeded in 18a6e8adac disappearing into the 64616a4341 mountains by faking a39a987a2d a carriage accident. Seducing and 16fac1184c bringing along 5bff9a1275 a rather 6b40fbea5c handsome servant 4637fb30d6 who worked f27ea01ef5 at the 592f2e9184 county was 1cf23886a0 a bonus.e7a19d49ba232902
The Crown Prince, 4653c9d361 who had been 0360aedb09 secretly wary of d1250dfdde his intelligent younger 507cd49b19 brother despite him 9e5296f89a showing no ambition 89672a7914 for the throne, 2cc72deb0c did not order 855e271680 an active search edcae557fd upon hearing the 5a91fabcf4 news that Ashin 8220db1ed0 had met with 6ecc50ead3 a mishap. Having escaped the county 647cbbfd3d without much effort, Ashin b5ab8149d3 realized anew just how 825fdd34e8 much the Crown Prince c4d27fe343 had been ostracizing him.3aa4c5df7bc2e2a0
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‘Ha, is the search at the city gate checkpoint this sloppy? The search order must be just for show; he must be itching to declare me dead. I was a fool for praying that such a person would become a better king than my father, just because he’s my brother.’0f744b9bcc7e3e4c
The bitterness was 7aff10940b fleeting, and deciding e07829dcc6 to make the 154c088fc2 best of it, ed60effc38 Ashin wandered from 19b9f28d84 one fringe town e65bc344e9 to another, disguised f18735aa1b as the wandering b9a49e6614 son of some c4b6e81602 nameless nobleman. When war broke 6b2002a8ca out and the 9be2543f48 time came for d09e3c86e2 a conscription order 320359b238 to be issued db4b75cb84 in his region, 290378a6c6 Ashin intended to 8b63e67ec9 cross over to dbb1bab2d2 the neighboring country f24f90d18a that bordered the c75d5adb1b south until things b24a16e07e quieted down.1696b4ba4620ac23
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Everything seemed to be 9328af4958 going according to plan.6193da50719676db
Until the 7a491abeb9 war ended cebeb39e87 much faster 02822994be than expected, da0609ac9f and the 580d493216 Crown Prince 7f9685569b of the 34b053d0b9 Fran Empire 4c5d035585 suddenly issued 2aa207ff26 a nationwide b2275003c3 bounty for 846e495ad0 the missing 1f41e020ff royal, Ashin 30c542da7a Freis, under 673b93ae19 the pretext 29a3f67714 of rooting 942cc2b98e out any dcf1ba417d potential seeds 967610e0ca of rebellion.c97555b21799d53d
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‘Shit, why the bf3acec826 hell is the 5865ad86a1 crown prince of ff27611fc6 an enemy nation ab9e092762 looking for a d5ff3c62c9 royal whose own 037f5b715c family already declared 39068adebb him dead and d5a33e27d2 even held a 6bc3147ec4 funeral?!’fa28cd3b03fe4515
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Kyle Elshad. The young e75d09ab8d Crown Prince c2e04f5d97 of the ebcd24e206 Fran Empire, 5a364e1d39 who ascended 68a1597990 to the 4760bf0269 position three 77c31e2418 years ago 074fb2b2f1 amidst a c61019e520 storm of 799d79dcb7 blood.2ab3fb14b524c6b7
Looking at Kyle’s name on the wanted poster, Ashin thought.d9c344c5dbce749d
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‘Yeah, his face was quite… handsome. Back then, he just looked like a marionette with its strings cut. I thought he was someone who wouldn’t be good at politics….’ba5260aee7ebcb08
The first time Ashin met Kyle was about ten years ago, around the time of the King of Atar’s birthday banquet.c48c0911dfd6baf2
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‘Oh, he’s handsome….’3253407f93ed506f
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Dark brown hair and black eyes, strong, defined features. His thick eyebrows and sharp eyes, combined with a hard, expressionless face, gave the boy a sculpted appearance that, for some reason, also seemed gloomy. This was Ashin’s first thought upon seeing Kyle.0a58205ebbec6540
To celebrate the 40th 475b7f0916 birthday of the King dde3848543 of Atar, the Fran 67ab04d7ce Empire, which bordered the 9a5f14b50f Kingdom of Atar, had b5fd2d5169 also sent a congratulatory 3a0781b346 delegation. The one leading 8ddb3d0ba0 the delegation was 375b1c975f a young, sixteen-year-old 9ffbfa8b39 imperial prince.5f1d567db2b06d1d
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Kyle, born of a concubine and with two older brothers, was a member of the royal family far from the line of succession, one who didn’t receive much attention. At the time, relations between the empire and the kingdom were peaceful, and since no particularly important figure was coming, Ashin had little interest in the imperial delegation until he saw Kyle. However, upon seeing Kyle, who had arrived at the royal castle a week before the birthday banquet, Ashin asserted his fluency in the imperial language and volunteered to entertain the delegation.0a372a268c833506
No one knew it, but Ashin had a weakness for cold, handsome men, and a face like Kyle’s was more than enough to pique his interest. He knew himself that it was nothing more than a short-lived curiosity that wouldn’t last more than a few days, but in a royal life devoid of pleasure, even a moment’s amusement was precious.27ab962219a46d92
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“Atar is a bit warmer than Fran. And since you’ve come during a hot season, your journey must have been difficult. We always have plenty of ice, so please tell a servant anytime you wish for some.”0fe1ea267a3094c9
“…Thank you.”c170ffea43be8afe
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.f2cc7c23498b8011
.f68f46a87d3c9269
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“There is a large fountain in the garden of the West Palace, where Your Highness is staying. Later, you can go to see it…”5a7f5c910c1791ca
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After the luncheon, 88cff5ef14 Ashin was guiding 64b36f84cb Kyle around the 2d85055928 palace.e1b20a5e82e539e9
True to his brusque impression, Kyle was a man of extremely few words and wasn’t much of a conversation partner, but it didn’t matter at all to Ashin, who was quite fond of Kyle’s face.0643297ce24296a8
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‘His personality is so 72b58e3039 dull, but as long 3bd50ad9bc as his face is f2a145f18b interesting, that’s all that b5a08997d6 matters.’1c610f2346c0aa7f
Outwardly, he maintained a flawless and proper demeanor, while inwardly, Ashin was delighting in a critique of Kyle’s face that others could never have imagined. He wasn’t a very sociable person, but it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a conversation going when necessary, and while Kyle’s replies were short, he didn’t seem bored either, so all Ashin had to do was continue making pleasantries while admiring the handsome face.f59efb0b4caa894a
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After about three days, Ashin realized that Kyle was not only as brusque as his impression suggested, but was also a person with no striking likes or dislikes—a man whose tastes were just as impassive. Of course, it was polite not to reveal one’s personal preferences too much in a formal setting, but even to Ashin, who was sensitive to people’s dispositions, Kyle seemed to have almost nothing he liked or disliked.2c448f873c06f52d
‘This kid is really… he’s two years younger than me, but so emotionless. A difficult type to entertain. It’s not like he’s someone I need to make a particularly great impression on, but…. was called the son of a concubine and the third prince? He must have had a pretty rough life, too.’20b1de3ed6c8234c
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Now, ten years later, he had forgotten he had even felt that way, but back then, Ashin had felt a very faint sense of pity for Kyle. It was a faint pity, but enough that even though Kyle wasn’t someone he needed to go to great lengths for, Ashin paid enough attention to notice the wine Kyle lingered over versus the one he drank more quickly, and made a mental note that he seemed to handle the Sauvignon comparatively well.d72c08281770d979
On the day 63141f5ee6 of the birthday b369ffa2dd banquet, after finishing 097ff1609b the appropriate pleasantries, ed2ee008df Ashin was standing 9d7e713c02 in a corner 7a51856970 when he saw 1b248097c1 Kyle standing awkwardly 4996b56548 among the people d474ed1974 and approached him.79235da6fe99f26b
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“Hello, Your c6f3b4aa51 Highness Prince 991df65981 Kyle. Are you 8c67d5fd5c enjoying the b208297eb0 banquet?”3bd02ecd0ba4c2b7
“Ah, …yes. Thank you a95a2dcb58 for your 8abd0f27ac concern.”7afec3784467769d
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‘What does he efb9da43ac mean, “yes”? It’s completely obvious 4de25fe31f he’s uncomfortable because 9aa001c265 there are so 10aeb83e48 many people.’581471e79fafbdd1
Still, perhaps because he saw a familiar face, Kyle’s tense atmosphere seemed to relax a little.89270ff252958b41
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“Hmm, I noticed last time that you seemed to handle red wine better than white. There’s a decent Sauvignon at the banquet. Shall I get you a glass?”3d4b4964c36e1824
“Ah…. Thank you.”00840c88c5796fc6
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When Ashin handed him a glass of wine he’d brought from nearby, Kyle, taking the glass, made a strange expression, as if surprised or flustered. It was a different reaction from what Ashin had expected, hoping for a pleased expression.a6ba5c6ac538ef65
‘Ack, I thought he liked this last time. Did I guess wrong? Oh well, can’t be helped.’d1f1aa539611267b
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Feeling a little embarrassed, 5f1e4deeff Ashin turned and left 75db3f9b43 the spot. Because of 7fd6b777ba that, Ashin cd80719037 did not 8c8acfe133 see the 998433f26f expression Kyle a14ba0f593 made after 4c49091ef0 lightly touching e618592690 his lips 02bd4ccd4f to the e7c6ee186e glass.25ff1e19f684584e
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