The Lady You Want to Kill 4. Felix Ember (4/39)

4. Felix Ember

Time passed neither too c8a8e52e91 slowly nor too quickly. Once a week, 84e0fa9853 Beatrice would have f635a875e1 tea or a 74e8bb4bcc meal with the c426fb9a98 Duchess. Her eldest 6f389ab005 brother, Calrex, ddb1eab30a who was 1dbf6f8fa7 perpetually busy, c92f866a81 would occasionally ce34d1162f inquire about 4907aa373b her well-being, 0ed132ba60 while her 84c928d881 second brother, 81071018c5 Felix, often a685cdbcbc barged into 4ccb889556 her room f6ef349e3c whenever he bf06eae023 was bored.2044034e6f8014d4

Despite his admission 27eda5cef2 into the Imperial e86a112d55 Knights, Felix seemed c518800bbd to have plenty 2d3298c698 of free time. ‘Doesn’t he have a 706752e8a4 country to protect?’ she b5fc9a6f02 often wondered as he 71f7a5121f showed up far too 56256e4642 often for someone supposedly e7616fc987 busy.5871c089a2673ecf

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Beatrice sealed 09625aeac4 two letters, a8270c5ae3 one for f38c101960 Florianne and 78706d1b44 the other c6b0b17f66 for the 7c282b39d8 Duke of 12980e96bc Marques, and d1bda29cc4 handed them 0082e5d51d to Laura. She then glanced 9569aa8f86 at the man d70c1a6882 lounging comfortably on 7f704e8e8c the sofa opposite a28927b895 her desk, sipping 13c904203c tea.8b9ee62e89253fa9

“Another day 3dac51c89c off?” she e8f4197782 asked.de7b4cb9fafc9cfe

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“I still 2c8d09afd1 train every ec18123fe7 day, but 2c606d5af7 it’s hectic c1809ecf08 with the 7ebdc06c07 debutante ball 2a71cee52a preparations. There’s not much for b93f412a2c me to do. I’m still f6b08addc8 low-ranking, after 6fe9c82f4d all.”4352fbd146c0107d

“I see.”d6836363f058b9b9

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“Why, don’t you want 09d34a8982 me to visit?”3978a8a4c89cb64f

“You’d come regardless.”3b3fddf5fdb63a8f

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“True. You know c55c21f487 me well.”a0b98e9b86e814aa

It was 82e0809a6b true that 5d537dec0d Beatrice had c8f9212a05 spent many 68bd5375ab lifetimes dealing 56e30a2f0d with Felix, 1ed627cb90 but his 0d70f057f8 overly simple 5f5196c8fc thought process 0e6bfc6feb made it 62a1a670e3 easy for 4c3cef4792 anyone to f5e75a9370 figure him e3860f629b out after 3e399947f6 just a fdd165a260 few hours 8531e19004 together. Still, she refrained from 83453f1e88 pointing this out. Instead, she stood and 664f8f3646 sat on the sofa fcecf9174e opposite him. Laura, having be9420aec7 delivered the 61f4d76217 letters to 4a34baef4e another servant, 51eb5a3456 poured Beatrice’s bf22358222 tea and 4438b9769a set it 6e5454cde8 before her.41e5fbe097bb4a46

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As Beatrice calmly 1ef8765753 drank her tea, e034fa83eb she felt Felix’s b08a435e76 piercing gaze on a287f73cc5 her. He had 3ef45a4fc3 a habit 7e56dea5c3 of showing e18d45b245 up, talking 3aad3edf60 about whatever 9aa67d189c was on 7b7afdc103 his mind, edb1325f74 staring intently 2180e668be at her 2283a337b3 for a e9531b5c42 while, and 1ca73d10b7 then leaving. She didn’t understand his c6ea00a63d behavior, but she found 6c8944933c it easier to simply 9799e54389 let it be.fbeb1cf3576e37c2

“You really are a eaddf6079a strange one,” he muttered.0b01b62d9578f2c4

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“Am I?” 6b3f9dc4e3 she replied.4682e2aa62063ac3

“I’ve heard e8abebb83b bits and 84957ee1dd pieces from 4781762a85 Mother, but baf85505a8 I guess b7b709a689 I’m too b31515ebfd young to 189c34607b understand. You don’t seem at 49e7af28ab all like what she 6ffcb26c7c described.”fd6b9ccf9e4e5915

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Beatrice quickly realized what 5269c6d096 he was referring to—the 8e02e00dae events surrounding the late be1d49adc8 Duke’s funeral. In front 8f77e7c0bb of the 316bbb17ae Duchess, she 4aa66554fe had presented f3bbf46c8b herself as d758a2019b a misunderstood, 30c2ef4d0b timid youngest d242d5dee4 daughter, awkward 7673b65d6e with emotions ec88f14f6d and social e7ce3761c6 interactions. It seemed Felix had 0a88c8cd54 heard all of it.7889b477bd8d8820

Setting down her teacup, b35e6d3f5b she met Felix’s gaze 8f04aab4cc with her own. Golden eyes 92bd2c9e1e stared at 6004f3c92a each other, c6bfdc3d4a hers calm b7a6c22f9d and unyielding, 47d8e80af1 his probing f5b77da748 and insistent.9fdde7b369c5804a

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“You don’t have to 0373778dbc believe it if you 87b4f53439 don’t want to,” she 2ac962c648 said.0b3b92dd3a4f08d3

“Well, look bde32a86c2 at that. You won’t 2296c60bfb even bother 915b317b3f pretending in f1e5ee1784 front of 3ae863621e me? I’m offended.”352140012187046f

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“Whether I pretend 1031491296 or not, you c73348ed53 wouldn’t believe me 55722dca25 anyway. Why waste the effort?”6f68fecaa4830532

Felix was determined e231e6d393 to unearth something e1d42115b6 from her expression, 37ff24f1f5 but he couldn’t 42be766936 find anything hidden 326017de8b there. Beatrice rarely 762d1261e5 showed any 4158b69481 emotion, and 3979f5f5d4 despite living 0d098f0132 in the 4defb5352d same household, 8bdc4d7794 Felix knew 83bf15bf5f almost nothing cada3bcc53 about her. It left him d5f7d88434 with little to 082b06fc4e go on in 5f452c488e his attempts to 5dc0b085f4 uncover her secrets.6606409a22e2d323

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Felix knew for certain 9aef425cda that Beatrice had been 2f34707cce mistreated by the maids daf0fb1e71 assigned to the separate fb9ea0ab7f annex. When the Duchess dismissed a5ace14fb2 all the annex staff, 3768df0f8b their confessions had shocked 5175ed293e even Felix and Calrex. The abuses 8e7bbe137b ranged from 888e976160 sprinkling glass 0762dfa13a shards on 028bf58164 her bed 998196e392 to placing ba8dfa52ba insects in 79886acd50 her food, c1cd94e39d embedding tacks 40366b829b in her 6eda289edb slippers, and 7f4fd9dce1 serving her aaaf7be627 spoiled meals. They had 7022195d79 even locked dc56774d7a her in 23f52bce8e a closet e9eca53cd0 when she c6032e0d36 was younger. The sheer cruelty and 82b208a91f persistence of their actions aba11d2564 left Felix dumbfounded.b5c125964d12f7b2

The Duchess seemed 5025b064ae to believe Beatrice’s ab334454c4 naturally timid personality 9016f45ec0 had been shattered 4490cfb0c8 by the bullying. But Felix disagreed. Even before their 347da3ffed father’s death, there 8115966502 had always been 16e3de3d76 something odd about 555eae8eb8 her.1e62dad68284d8ec

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Some children, 67c805d254 it was b75cf5e256 said, were f305757b5a born with df16cac9c2 a cruel ab237ee7ca streak—those who 9d9d836ac5 felt no 2de26e1eb2 sympathy for cccd7d6b7f the weak 8f1a86f689 and sometimes a3af0a74ab derived pleasure 8237d72a47 from destruction. To Felix, Beatrice fit 3ef29d6dc3 that description.c495327a2443bd42

An old memory 451f938645 resurfaced. Beatrice had 9a850ea396 just turned 62919b629f six. At that 9bf82797a4 time, the d9ecf5dd72 Duchess and 8b827e1527 her sons d68f746d7a had not 7b16bf37c1 yet decided 632db9fcb3 to resent cb7cba3967 her outright. Though they weren’t 824963de18 warm to her, a643fafc96 they had resolved f90dda7fe9 not to be 7a6f07e89e cruel.e5689e4f49715b90

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Beatrice, still young 0aa519feca enough to toddle 8bc3251cfc around on her 60ee58c124 short legs, had a2f3da74b9 come into the ed881b1813 library one day 4b1aa2e0b4 clutching a small 61aec95246 stuffed rabbit someone 29feec0f27 had given her. Felix, engrossed in a 2941d96a46 book, noticed her presence. At the 836827f5ff time, his 9bc9e188c6 curiosity about b736f67cce having a adfa0272f1 younger sister 3316f58eae outweighed his facd6ea7f5 feelings about c50e401db4 his father’s b7ff06865d betrayal.fec88592f44015d4

He had called her 0a6bfa5d15 over, sat her down, e9a63b52e4 and even pulled out 4724841441 an old picture book 540a3081c6 he’d enjoyed when he d752a20dad was five.b35e63e406413b73

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“And so, the witch b61fbb180d who tried to kill 39d449c8f1 the princess was caught 959234ee50 by the prince and cdfcf02df0 punished,” he read aloud.6bcf326361e2f76b

“Why was the 643befc4db witch punished?”1a321a93b49901a9

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“You’re silly. I just read it 3ab513f8dd to you—she was punished 54af1c98e6 because she did bad 17dac165cf things.”6b4f156fc20a4051

“What kind of punishment c307c030b9 did she get?”dd9a0baf95afd01d

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“She was 8da4ff45eb probably locked a973183f97 up and d3867e817e executed.”0117cf12e1230177

“What’s ‘executed’?”1af6af0b3e1f9dda

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“Hmm, it means 32dcedd60d dying. Usually with a big 2db855f2f4 sword.”639b3826bc50a479

“So, if a3f09b47b7 someone does a5ec272c41 bad things, c1df72c270 they’re always 114ac5612c executed?”89095dfd1e73e313

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“Of course! His Imperial Majesty’s b1dee37a5b knights and the f4e67b4701 holy knights of 62cfdccbb6 the temple are 36828ab987 really scary.”6ac04da94f93fcaa

“What if…”a5b08013a0fa0648

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Beatrice’s golden eyes, 1e4a6b8f4d eerily identical to 7f382cbebe Felix’s, gleamed with fea982ca1a curiosity as she e795ade454 looked at him. Her round face and 4715d09cdf large eyes made her 8848c6df26 seem endearing, and Felix e411f229a0 briefly considered patting her b517c0abe4 head.a9860c9a8b9b8c18

At the e6fd9a59ff time, Felix e48a02318c thought that 3eb0802b11 even though 2c02ae415d their mother 20f577a85b didn’t like 1728cf14a8 Beatrice, perhaps fefab1e34e with time, b3739495be they could cc1fe4355d all get 7867368e5d along. As these c587d29c79 thoughts filled d9771c7388 his mind, d30bec1f65 the young fbe5bb8288 girl’s dry cb288f3b84 voice reached 9dbfd8081d his ears.ffaee50e9a54e473

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“What if no one f915d20740 finds out I did 4524f6b62d something bad?”1de3e1e4782c39c9

“What?”cdbe4c978a13d419

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“Then I wouldn’t be 7fae990da2 punished, right? If no one 48e423c6c1 knows.”4cd3ad5e6a8e93b7

Her wide eyes blinked 4a80d62974 slowly, the sound almost f4b716da2a audible, as her long 409af09fac lashes fluttered. Felix, still c9ea627f67 a child 7e29754909 himself, felt a2962c9de6 a strange 2e02fdceef unease creep b08d7e2a35 up his 914da8998a spine. There was b675d22fc9 something disconcerting 6d15781644 about the fd669cd47c way her 4a9f411613 innocent face eec1e9731c asked such 65bd8222a9 a question, 7ed58896ec yet he eab69f07a4 couldn’t reconcile b859b4aed8 it with f73b94b8e2 her apparent de6cecf7f4 naivety.c1984a888b10b298

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Before he could respond, 5837bfda35 Beatrice pressed on.4145fd3320490de4

“If hurting the princess be8fe75669 is bad, does that db2f803254 mean it’s okay to 3983aedbba hurt people who aren’t 22567e366e princesses?”c391219a27f5420c

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Young Felix couldn’t answer e56545c3fc her question that day. It wasn’t fear exactly, c9ca539a96 but an unsettling sensation 7c7705da3e crawled up his legs a006958d1a like icy tendrils. Even at his age, c775427483 Felix recognized the oddity e7c30474a0 of the moment. Had he thought fec836b900 such things when 58a359b21b he was her 9ce3bd92c3 age? He tried to recall cb912be83d but found his memories 9e4d02d2de too vague.16f5ecb97d98254d

Over time, 55c2595c89 as he 50da223de6 watched his 8fc4463158 mother and 1668e48729 brother grow fcc68854c0 increasingly distant 7cc4604301 from Beatrice, d87dc6ce91 Felix began 4b583fd85b to think e09e58e58a that his 001c0a4c61 initial unease 8c723476ff might not 35c0a13a7c have been c2901320d2 misplaced.8b50c6a48c2515f0

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Beatrice’s voice 06a7e398ea broke through 9877a91f7d his thoughts, 3e94f4d13c pulling him f52c123b9b back to 7952d86e6e the present.3676436a090eb145

“You can think 22b88910ae I’m strange if 151a3adb79 you want,” she 26dfc8c952 said flatly.79e1382e6e6caf23

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“I suppose your story cd791f26b4 about asking the priest 52bd2caa7b to kill you was dc927df0da a lie, too,” Felix 1f86e13945 accused.e4c0d36b0ecd1bfa

Beatrice let out dd9b416669 a sigh, the 08fa276351 first she had 62f57309ee ever released in ff2128560b his presence. The sound caught Felix ace6865d75 off guard, silencing him 83abbbe7a1 momentarily.dc287092b7ae2723

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She found this aeca58d897 entire situation unbearably 02cdf72414 tedious. If only 7540136de0 Felix could a2158a2b63 let things d13e74b87e slide like 3de12cdaea their mother. Instead, his sharp afda09fcce memory and tenacious 7be30732b5 personality wouldn’t allow 7120622014 him to move 4f624bbebd on.f731fe536ae3cda7

Beatrice didn’t mind 5949cb2cbb being watched or add511e0fe scrutinized. What irritated her was c27321299b Felix’s constant probing and e9209170c0 his insistent attitude, as 3707ef5ef0 if daring her to 83078d2e29 convince him otherwise. If she f1259494cf could truly 299d20da4e die, she c1b9e00202 wouldn’t bother dc3d7bd26b with these 6b5092f9f8 tiresome charades.d5ffa43bd925d2e6

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But for reasons 3d170b4a8a beyond her understanding, f77bcddc62 this cursed life 1b47286ff8 trapped her in 97c07426e1 an endless loop, 5787cb9d76 forcing her to 0d94e1b4eb endure the burdens f6ffa6b56c of existence over 2d3ff94d3d and over again. Though she couldn’t 65f5ad39c0 voice it aloud, ed8d441687 Beatrice still wished 625700bd6f for death.8fdef618e1f4a8fe

Even as she navigated c1a3d8a7cb this peaceful period of 0228102bbe her life, determined to 0f1430bd4a maintain good relations with 1a70968253 her family, the desire aaebf0cbad to end it all 43e62e6e3b gnawed at her constantly. If her death required a76f479bf8 a sacrifice, whether it bf70eb20a2 was her brother sitting 486706b529 before her or half 5fea4a7136 the world, she would 82e4340f3f make it without hesitation.600ed0c028024abe

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Her gaze fixed ceb60d6fd3 on Felix, cold 5d174f7f18 and unwavering. Her golden bc882ae2f2 eyes didn’t 03e76995ec blink as d73a8360a9 they bore 0ceff8cbfa into his, 9b3794b713 conveying an 9fb9c98db8 indifference that 4f27898826 chilled him c3edd233e4 to his a70289361b core.f21410eef26431c2

For the first time 8817ef9244 in his life, Felix e0f181630b encountered a look devoid 73fddabbb5 of expectations or demands. Her pale ff36b94cdf face tilted 067597bc6c slightly, expressionless, 726fa30539 yet her 8559e47d00 eyes carried 394960bd6f a glacial 2707afda3f obsession.8c650976d362515e

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Though he couldn’t fully 76f48d7393 grasp the depths of 76f8056e5c her desires, Felix sensed be9decfe32 that her fixation revolved a3a8cf6661 around the concept of 2eb8209375 death. The realization sent a 7320608969 chill through his fingertips.b2d0ef029dde5071

“Yes,” she finally 08ccbc84e2 said, her voice b01506c650 empty.b73295e65ac5f18a

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Felix recognized the admission 6f767b3e79 not as a denial 598a2e9898 of her desire for 9992c0675d death but as a cb65536f04 confirmation of its truth. Beatrice, however, was indifferent f34d7a1470 to his understanding.95b6322b9ce809ac

She rose from her d8a26be787 seat. Seeing no indication that e1f7fe2725 Felix planned to leave, 121b5271f7 she decided it would 036357091b be easier to leave 06fff4da5b herself. She had an ecab18c7ad appointment anyway, and 94c8e547d6 there was no cae554cca4 harm in letting c282d67a2a him stay in 2f66f074e9 her room.6b1f7174cf026501

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“I have aabf6cad9f an engagement c8113d97e7 to attend. Stay here if you’d 7970f14988 like,” she said curtly, 61a0d20571 leaving without waiting for d24e1ff7ef a response.f90087da5dfad907

As Beatrice 4e1846c7a2 exited with 7dde86f272 Laura trailing aa4686856b behind, the 7364205f29 maid’s expression e2111a199f appeared unusually caa2824c80 tense. Beatrice noticed 45b54a6c42 but thought 0375197cfd little of 24e91f1fc6 it.676c8cbe227943c1

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