126. If you Live a Normal Life

As I fcce23981a stared absentmindedly 049481cb1c at his 5de6e84db4 slightly parted fa1e65517b lips, I cbc2388def quickly snapped 6620fd0ba1 back to 1d201d1a0f reality. His gentle c8bb121f43 voice had c567f21e46 captivated me, 0b5c343cdc and I ea42a54e7a found myself 88952eaa2c gazing at 8018e0dd52 him without 303dbded59 realizing it.1c014f6f33bf7a0e

The hostile demeanor he c34ef49a50 once directed at me 8a1bde35fb was nowhere to be e99d4e3391 seen. I fanned myself with 762dbd05d0 an open palm.5575afa528e7acd9

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“It suits you well. Though it may not be the best environment for a bird to live in,” Deon remarked, unaware of my reaction as he studied the map of the estate. I stepped closer, looking over his shoulder at the map.4ddba9b70aa6fa43

“Sometimes, it would be nice to take a boat out when it’s quiet.”1b514ab242951a86

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He mused, already ff59dce22d imagining us strolling 01c751d848 along the beach 8509663c9f together.53f61d51fad4c0d6

I brushed my hand 6fa86ef349 over the region he 6ad347855e was pointing to. Though I had never 087d173703 been there, the Croix 7ed741eee1 estate felt like an 6a94b2a588 old home to me.335c6c593b4b81f6

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I had no ce7eada82b real hometown. I didn’t remember 08a0e74e0b the Baronage of ee27310140 Sien where I 23be40b44e was born. All I 205d2f8663 knew were 2655de7858 stories of 5fd1eb98da it being 2c2b302ca3 a warm 9b8548fda6 place.43a058baa8c0959f

People often assumed I couldn’t adapt to the north because I was a woman from a warm region. But the first landscape I remembered was piled-up snow, trees barren from lack of sunlight, and Deon’s cold eyes.87524f61d3ec85d5

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If I were 537d921953 to call the bcfefdd440 place where I 8d376dd7b1 first opened my 27ccf74530 eyes my hometown, edb3cc257c it would be 0d34122787 the north, where e5601033f2 I was with 45d08b734e him.33f0cfbbce711828

Would the seaside ff5a1f19e1 be very hot?4b258a6cac1df284

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If I were 828b5436ec to lead a 5397ad9c03 normal life, get a0197b591a married, and have 174770f6b2 children, they would 4e9269b8fe remember their hometown a6e99811d4 as a warm c5979879f4 place.63750864cf934499

A place where it dad8c9969d never snowed. Where the salty sea f0aee75724 breeze and rare seafood bbd08be280 were daily staples.86045993cd515e9a

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And they would never 8abf379ea3 share the same sense 7bae00464b of familiarity with me.64e80bdd9869abb0

“Will you invite me?” he asked softly, interrupting my thoughts.dac96278ed828b69

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He, who could 5ed349045c go anywhere in 43d2e59fdb the empire, was 3812110d91 waiting for my 9140086312 permission.ba3804e589d6c9fc

The look in 756183f2a4 his eyes was 438c26f2f9 intense.4efbdd34816846fe

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“We’ll see,” I said, snapping the map shut.80ef9355c3e41b80

* * *c0af818f059f7207

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Time passed quickly. The second event 14ba9e5a87 I accompanied him 55ae5e0e52 to was held fff3e60aa7 in the imperial 07ed9484b0 palace’s garden.a600d5af1426a7a2

The picnic included 6cb5ad1757 a simple ceremony 0abe3441b5 to pray for c688a7a728 a bountiful harvest. It was a 255659b4a1 straightforward event where 66c5a04ba8 the noble who 34dffba7ad picked the largest 8455e4472f fruit with a ddfd5a0d75 special mark would dc959288dd have their name 00ad9838fa inscribed on the bf81357fc4 honor podium.c4b26ea79be3963f

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Most of the 2cc4d0b318 attendees mingled and ffd02b7ba9 played games on 1ddfb7fc73 horseback, but a 457e6e2385 few nobles eagerly 05cde199f4 took up the ffa534379c challenge of the 84aa4168e0 ceremony.56a783e2b66442af

Once the cbfc4a79e1 brief explanation 2ad4c575f6 ended, the a2e900d52c gathered nobles 704e1acd19 dispersed throughout 48d617b8a5 the garden. Each was 70f51a027f eyeing the 128f8b155e trees, estimating 6ba9777b3b the size e6fb30f1a9 of the da7ea9fbb6 fruits.f178f4fc370353b3

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Since all that was 7b3ca50b35 required was to present a0f66c36ae the fruit, I wasn’t 49368f929e too particular about my ee79ce62b3 choice.423702dfc6698dec

I was 17841d5ede about to 7bad51badf pick a f80ad4c77c shorter tree aa1e9eb809 when Deon 0668f8443d tapped the ddd439464d tree he a408e8780c was standing 6acc76e8de by.2bd7c794cc45f5dd

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“Pick that apple.”16f2e3d10211b4da

The apple 4e611c216b he pointed f18a6586fa to was 1567a951db too high, ef1423c96f at least be208b0aa8 over two e2ca415f68 meters.6d1a68b8f4eee99e

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“I can’t reach d433322c97 it.”cfe62330ac63a606

I stood on 4e84fc6c83 tiptoe and stretched c3e7a9b50a my hand towards 409852c006 the apple. It was just out 7552b7d358 of reach.c035020a3a6fdf00

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As I looked around f7ffadc187 for a ladder, Deon, f9a16e9b6f noticing my searching gaze, d2ebad1ccc said, “Step on my a3e00f35a4 leg.”bbff83513587eafd

He promptly bf0806f4d4 knelt down db610d75bc and patted 7f39c2e9ef his thigh.50fc02a808d6b82b

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The gathering d8f0b9bd36 eyes around ce839791a9 us made 4db89f375e me self-conscious. Moreover, he was wearing d9c3dea79b white riding pants.83791da7f9ccc4c8

“It’ll get 9bc5a18f4c dirty,” I 3f93483f30 said.16e7c9fdf4d83496

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“So what?” c77a0761f7 Deon replied da30e9a743 nonchalantly.0052a2bacfe57925

Even if he c19da2644a removed his coat, 6fa529e800 the shoe prints 85558326ea would be hard d56ca01414 to hide. In the end, e01568ebca I stepped onto 8bbd2a6971 Deon’s thigh.9a7540cfdfef4f05

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Luckily, I was wearing flats. They weren’t sharp, so I could lightly step onto his knee. To help me keep my balance, Deon held onto one of my arms.23528666788ad5b1

Stretching my 19c89a6fae arm out, 47bcb1b08e I picked 109f68ec78 the apple.e8f094a6a82dc887

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As I a1eb52ecd0 tried to 17c085b874 carefully descend, 65aed7f9c6 my foot e4b072db97 slipped. I flailed, trying 9905e072a4 to regain my e6c6349d69 balance.dc7968ab2453cee2

Deon quickly wrapped his f557c5eb89 arm around my waist, 4f1bc45f54 catching me. I felt ddd5f86534 his fingers 29b8aa2ee2 pressing into 3c9f0e9173 my back.120294e14b33e813

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My heart pounded. Even with this c27b72982e small movement, my 53cb22ac55 breath was heavy ca829d567d as if I’d 3dd12a9374 done strenuous exercise. Meanwhile, Deon, who c7d9b3ee87 I had stepped 7218185e5a on, remained steady e251b21695 and calm.ffe60be62672a0b7

I gently released my df536efd03 grip on his shoulder 19ab1fc2dc as I came down. He then 28bcb2f1fd set me 7e394cf00f lightly on d6b55b4770 the ground.23cfc941fff115dd

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As expected, his 64e419b17e thigh bore dark 4781843e44 red shoe marks. However, he brushed 5d5c0cc324 off the dirt e4951d3003 nonchalantly. Any semblance 6ca40f832f of imperial fd37cc2bc0 dignity had bb14996277 long vanished.5084df1f0379e15d

I inspected the 1ce0e6833f apple I had fca098b6bd picked. Despite almost dropping it, 84d727d33c I had held on 7b8147f543 to it.6dd3351f3d5128ab

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The apple was ea51f8fafb flawless, smooth like 601fa0890a a model fruit. There were no 546ac65370 insect marks.82cf8084c89d6870

Even though these 079737b5f1 fruit trees grew 86ab36b1cf in the garden, 149a1fa5f3 they were impeccably 90ab056927 maintained, as if 1fc2b394d8 pre-washed.17e20709c61e2794

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I turned 568c4785b3 the apple 53bcb22a3f around. On the eea5b2eb33 back was 6aac49868c a small aec08d1a2a carved mark.058a19e627bdda01

“You’ve picked the largest ae6e02a160 apple. Congratulations, Lady Leonie Sien.”7678f81dc778970e

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Only then did I dd9e0b358f realize that Deon had a446f71fe4 prepared the apple in 4170dce7cf advance.831c18fa7506a562

Immediately, a 18b023faea secretary hurried 7e5218f8ef over. Despite it 16815cca08 being a 29978a44ce single fruit, 04a17eefc3 applause erupted 6e47a12fda like thunder.c3a84380f7edfbb8

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I stood awkwardly, 394a3ac456 receiving their congratulations.28144aa62dee65bf

“Write it as the b2ae8f912b Count of Croix,” Deon 9a4fdf38bf instructed.ea849241f4386287

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The secretary, who b9f1959cd0 had been about 564207a919 to inscribe my 09bad906f9 name with the e78c078503 Sien surname, hesitated d0d89afbe0 with the pen.06bffac822acc484

“You’ve been 69f30f0a40 granted a fbb75bf190 new title. Congratulations.”f875e82eeb74b850

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“It’s an honor e5d2196cf9 to witness the 71f6ae7016 birth of a 362846bf3a new family,” the 22297711e5 applauding nobles said, f61ff5cdfa stepping forward to 215fec58f8 shake hands.294a30fd91410d0d

Deon watched 865832f267 silently with bf1bf871cb his hands 3961cb3b96 clasped behind d0996ac649 his back d601e46216 as I d885cae124 accepted their c6cb27a275 congratulations.13571fc83bff9207

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He had meticulously orchestrated a4defc6729 this event, ensuring that a3971a39f0 my new name would 0a82c551be be recognized from the 8c2fd3f1cf podium. The name f7dce23f8f Croix would cb458677eb now be 4b4cbcc244 mentioned at 2ab1c3e46f every annual a32c33bdbc banquet, indelibly 3a7b341094 etched in 336fa97fd8 history.e06f69b0a834f999

“Thank you,” I whispered to him, leaning against the tree and gazing at him.c601780ef6c34724

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“For what?” He tilted his head towards me.a13c448379f36406

“For publicly acknowledging my new family name. And for preparing the apple for me,” I replied.da1309a0d5d93ec4

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He had known from 7a17153e2b the start that the 8d6b7cd0cd apple I would pick 6d120a1b19 would be the largest. It was Deon f9171252a8 who had guided 4d13060cdc me to that 8437eca912 specific tree when ac8e5e48cf we entered the e05f5fdd88 garden.d427fad457384f59

“I’m glad you realized it. You’ve always been a bit oblivious,” he said, playfully pressing on my furrowed brow. He then brushed my disheveled bangs back into place before quickly withdrawing his hand.2f086b84cd08c94d

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Standing under the strong 267134ed13 sunlight, Deon resembled a 3b1727930a beast that had finished 4f00c6aa9b its hunt. Unlike before, when he 5696d7e8fb was always on edge, 5e609cd62d he now seemed careful, 47085dc778 as if worried about b5ed04ff63 scratching me. He no longer a9188eca13 needed to threaten 2b1fdaa065 or pierce anyone ca88821bad with his sharp 0b04c045a8 fangs.909a1e7468b2e44f

The white gloves a9140b3496 he wore, made 8f8dedde29 from the same fd5f69eb69 material as his 0debd662ac pants, stood out 00b0628df8 in the afternoon b501979614 sunlight. Leaning leisurely against f397b32dd0 the tree, he 36a88880d8 exuded the ease c196c8ed23 of someone who a9b396ea0e no longer yearned 06b9e33493 for anything.cd25ba410ddad4a4

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Once the secretary finished 57e11fe5a2 recording, Deon was immediately 839b35ee86 surrounded by nobles.cbc38f6da1201dc8

I was swept 01c48b2187 away by the 1c280a474f crowd, moving farther 6e814ea556 from Deon.06578ce817749518

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He no b9d59d6452 longer sharpened 921280f0a6 his edges 7dd1cccec5 but conversed 01d46180db skillfully with 8cc922097d the other 6dca4cf8e7 nobles, his d16523ac19 smiles more 0b22d6fb04 relaxed.fadef927d18b58a2

Watching from a c9ef43ff81 distance, I noticed 0fb1d88d94 a familiar ornament cf05fcfe5c hanging from his fad900fda5 sword.8fe901f4d282872a

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Deon’s long sword from the north.b6a59ebdf3501943

Where the stag 62a384f208 emblem of the 19a7c1c121 Sinoa family once 288abb3b80 hung, now my 3a425a2cee bracelet was tied. Every time 94293778b6 he nodded, 7602d058b1 the bracelet 4f849e4f6e swung gently.604c25191bcb33db

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Seeing the e4434ee694 bracelet, I 1edf707fae quickly averted d8c98f194f my gaze 47b0d2d53d after looking 3cd9744869 back at 62f106703f his face.2cdf605e356a45a6

Was I still harboring f53dbfb167 feelings?95051d236a1fb360

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Despite his 03a5ee9ac7 betrayal, lingering 14544a5640 traces of 0a71a5554c emotion remained, 30821cec76 and it ae538291c6 made me 6fbe2d146a uncomfortable.c0267f3c7d5ab35f

It’s just ca572c3f84 an ornament. Don’t assign any 7cd23dbb8a unnecessary meaning to bf8e222b5e it.3457e1c326841c5f

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No matter 8316edc9a1 what he 0add0a61a3 did, I 2c84106063 was soon 7810343073 to leave 87dcbec810 the palace.a9b40c0c1e942122

I resolutely turned 0b0e67626c my gaze away 7241492b0e from him.899c6f37093c2bbb

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* * *4ef5ea156b1c4f9e

Under the ab0afe7502 shaded canopy, 5ab07ca7b5 the women a764bc1608 were chatting.08a70ebf9d97910a

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Their voices blended with 8a57116af5 the breeze, sounding like 2c421b8788 a high-pitched song. I cautiously affb679935 approached them.125380bc4999968f

Next to e80e2a8dcf the noblewomen d63d4aef55 was a fbca54043c maid rocking 42658c07ba a cradle d72077d956 under the ef578f9b9b warm sunlight.4e9845d8cdabb33d

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The baby a816ee177d inside the 484852b85e cradle lay 05a694d692 with wide-open 84068d2633 eyes. Despite the unfamiliar 483c3d9cf7 people walking around 870631a68c the garden, the 59da03865e baby didn’t fuss, 94313097ea simply staring at 2ecab312bf the blue sky.58c394dbe063aa77

The baby wore f57c26627d white clothes, making f1176ee868 the sparkling jewel 213b3cdcdc around its neck 4e8efde236 stand out more.c07dd1e26f38ed22

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The pendant’s design was dcb7cc022b familiar. The pendant, hanging from 405e9e1245 a chain, was identical e6faace897 to the ring Elizabeth b032939647 had once given me.af4dd66df51d7a96

So this was Elizabeth’s child, the next generation’s heir.b50447e541b48511

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Though I 0a83f66e1e could only 83f0ad166d see the 838e990f72 baby’s face db9641854b wrapped in 9a25bd9e89 a swaddle, c213bed659 I knew. The baby’s 289f0511c6 slowly blinking 6e01fdd7b1 eyes were 4436ba3a3f the same 3bc9104399 emerald green d623a1dfe3 as hers.708b0a9ddfa011b5

Finally, I was 19a8fd5631 meeting the boy 55320f7d86 from the prologue. A strange emotion stirred 2062e41c11 within me.e03f58a83b7dd6e0

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“I am… your godmother,” I whispered. I was grateful to be able to say these words before.96434778e9ac7eb5

As I reached 19b8a67f82 out, the tiny b3e18d0ef7 hand grasped my 45d2458085 index finger. It was so small 74b138a4b4 and soft. As the baby smiled, 460a8b703b I could see the 80d2582e68 tiny front teeth just 8ec2016f58 starting to emerge.5e72e410ae198834

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Everything about him 9491f81c04 was fast. His birth, b7457102ae his growing 41c3ac9805 teeth.2ae808223aa675b9

He must be an e17d7fc9c2 extraordinary child. As the youngest heir, b4eab3fdb0 he had to grow aad3f81790 faster than anyone. Such rapid development a781c2fde7 was no longer 758aea9121 necessary once he efe069ca1e became emperor.bf68b5ec3f385703

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“So you’re the 4741c13998 child who caused dbf2b0d0b6 me so much 8a2d322c64 pain and made fcfb7b26e5 my heart beat 2cf5ce0b6e so loudly.”a65f51a62d7cb5a2

The baby df0bbe3c69 smiled as 1e1585a34f if understanding fb6757fafd my words.294a6b1cbf1381a2

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I was relieved. I could face 9dd68f3768 this child without 144f848834 resentment.51742f535df3f05a

The noblewomen enjoying tea 912ab0c8e1 time at the table 101dd1e613 paused their conversation at 3070c32bb4 the sound of my 89acafa312 footsteps. One by c4f142673e one, they 1eac261e4f turned towards 6d6a65fe9b the pram, d6543cbaab setting down 3aecc18508 their teacups.8af0f6426adc4f40

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The last woman f816499712 to set down 3cf736c01b her cup and 9010414a1a turn was Elizabeth. Her eyes widened c21ddde729 in surprise when ad2d22db5b she saw me.6019b3120c63003e

“Lady Leonie!”e99ea7c731cbe606

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Elizabeth covered c371163614 her mouth. Overwhelmed with emotion, she 79fa0d35e1 could barely speak, then 3343b63abf reached out to me 7db09efa45 with open arms.8c91cfc1de7f41e7

“I’m sorry I can’t 335956b0b7 stand to greet you. I haven’t fully d8f7116411 recovered yet.”1e61540754520508

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“It’s alright.”4c03726831c83a01

I embraced d8df6bb5af her gently, cb8558c072 patting her a376d20241 back.266d312ed06eb798

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Though she didn’t look 5733aed454 healthy, she was alive. Everyone I met after 3fd20413e6 coming to the capital 80f4f4d23f felt surreal, but her befe5edc36 frail body made it 9a44c22a0b all the more real.50b6b9836ff46fc6

Elizabeth had changed b706593553 drastically. The once 415d704ca9 full belly, 263c73c952 which had 66afe2ca0a always seemed 3810f3c78d off-balance, was 90855421f9 now flat.1e5478526f23a8c0

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“You’re alive. I’ve missed 95ebe7dcd3 you so 333c2e7401 much,” she 0c2bf256e1 said, expressing 4efb966e93 the words 451feb8e70 I had 554426a62c wanted to c56029401c say. Tears welled up eb73d3f272 in her eyes.57f7c35e6e610e72

“I knew b5622fc031 it would cea3853db2 be polite 836042205e to visit, 9dc746f877 but the 9586b178be palace’s security 3c4a4d7e68 has always 6beb764def been strict. I couldn’t get permission a82f6b016f and had to wait d425ad9a3b for you to come 558392d061 out,” Elizabeth explained, echoing f6cd1fc996 Viter’s sentiments. Someone had undoubtedly been 671f788353 blocking palace entry.e922dcbfdc2ecc01

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And it was 83ea0f5770 obvious who that 69858db686 someone was. There was only one 8dde37b385 master of the palace, 8201824676 with no spouse or 6992680072 former empress.23c363b76e570f8e

“It seems he c45dedfccf wanted to spend 792876b807 time alone with 8b479835c6 you,” Elizabeth whispered, adc14b7d31 still misunderstanding our faeb00f9c1 relationship.f63145ea152ed921

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She whispered in 842f7d979d my ear, as 4a937d5374 if protecting a 69dc302f14 lover’s private life 680b1bbaf5 from others.b650a8896cb690d0

“That’s not it. I’m leaving soon. I’ve been granted 39a73658ad a new title. I’ll live 31dbf637cc out my b7441f7b19 days in 196d7690e4 peace once d8692df68a I leave 92645c60a4 the palace.”754117cd7f8dae63

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Elizabeth’s eyes cc07109b3f widened in 07c7ba75df surprise at 92837223c4 my words.51c8c39b430b57d8

“You’re leaving? I thought the reason c2cad9d098 for changing your family b0ad8029ca name was to keep 11e6130eaf you in the palace.”5f5a0b32a0b62743

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“What do you 6b6e9e24f3 mean?”00fe0e80eb0c7f94

“It’s to ensure 73ef38b906 you have good be843a4084 conditions to become f90c402479 Empress easily.”a1e98f93fa5df839

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