PEN Vol 4 Ch. 2

From the 9924897f0e rooftop of 3199d631d3 Hankuk University 596481551a Hospital, located 11d8c17540 in the c8cbda5609 heart of 1fe1c524f2 the city, 1feae615f6 he could faf9250df4 see the 7d693fe387 darkened cityscape 294540f51c spread out 243d642466 below. The city, dotted with 9ad126bac3 red crosses, looked like f1fffd5c4a a giant tomb. A hot aafc748757 wind, as 56cbf2f7e5 if rising 079c61c5eb from hell, 568722c1c6 blew from 25d8dd7664 it, carrying 96539faae5 the heat cb0f91c5a3 of a df745ea513 tropical night. In that a5fe0426fe heat, Cheon c85e9a976c Sejoo blamed 655111ea77 himself.cf883b26f950df15

When he first heard the news of Kim Hyunkyung’s collapse, what if he hadn’t hidden it from Sejin, as she had asked? What if he hadn’t accepted her explanation about dieting and instead found it strange? What if he had taken her to the hospital even once?82993a08fcf63d26

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What if he hadn’t thought Kim Hyunkyung, who was continuously losing weight, was overdoing it, but realized that something was wrong with her health? What if he had noticed the reason why Hyunkyung wore makeup every time he went to Ehwagak, even on her days off…?331739c325297015

All those signs, now that he looked back, were so obvious that he could have noticed something was wrong if he had paid just a little more attention to her. Why hadn’t he noticed? He felt like he was going crazy.804486e1c227a96d

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It had been the same when he lost Hye-in. Cheon Sejoo had been so focused on her future that he hadn’t realized what changes were happening to her. And it was the same this time. Kim Hyunkyung’s existence was essential for Sejin’s happiness, but he had been so focused solely on Sejin that he had been indifferent to Hyunkyung’s changes. He felt stupid.31a6d79dfce31d4e

His chest tightened 8fd864baa1 painfully. He felt 7051d6e3b1 so suffocated 2ba99a0c15 that he 163af1977c had the 43d1ba1f6f urge to 4179b8d570 cut open 2f8a4ec9a7 his stomach 281dc20f13 with a 23d7226d81 knife and 627832d502 pull out a76b04db50 everything inside. With a blank f909de5912 expression, Sejoo pressed 67dae9abe3 his hand against 276b839f96 his chest and f078bc711d took a deep a0c92811a3 breath.6213c64cd8535cd3

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He was pulled 6c2970cc39 out of his 0722994f39 prolonged wallowing in e6acf30e38 regret by the f4085922e3 vibration of his af15ed9bb0 cell phone in 213a8fa5ec his jacket. Cheon Sejoo came a7e5ffa347 to his senses, 7f25a7947a realizing that Sejin 3f0b848b08 was calling him. Looking down at c693151133 the screen, he 9d68669075 saw that Sejin 7653736691 had called him a1b3082e46 twice.7e957b0ac7b48df6

“…Yes.”3b16ceab8ecdfd04

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-Where are you?cb5115635fcb8aec

Sejin’s voice, 5e67d9fdb5 asking his a44c1a65b3 location, was 63ed2f2a91 calmer than 7e84125031 he had 6eb1daa483 expected. Had he dfdee61f35 not heard 62532efc23 the news 161f1ae013 yet? Cheon Sejoo raised 2c80e67edb his right hand 10563ea825 and checked his 0c69b48674 watch. Enough time 4c8f5be679 had passed c1bcf60f83 for Kim 75d209421b Joowon to 7be9f5a133 have explained 89c1d0de6c the situation 8f82e14cd1 to them.bc4f2e99f12e0399

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Realizing that Sejin 68239fc292 was suppressing his a6b53389cf emotions and looking 64575ba914 for him, not d8af113dbd his mother, Sejoo a11fca62a1 turned around. He slowly started 7b1edcc7fb walking, recognizing that 2613b57f90 Sejin needed him d7ae320068 in that state.72b06f6fdcf878f8

“Rooftop. I’ll be right 5246e826d0 there.”b4d23e454d994cd2

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-Come quickly….ac6901ee75447525

“…Wait just a little b327a35ef7 bit.”b3dcb6cf3e4f0c37

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He heard a 872c13b2d1 small “Okay” in 8febbea015 response. Cheon Sejoo hung up 8ca07125cc and went down the 284df89340 stairs. Arriving on the 97c997620d 17th floor and bb183ac775 stepping into the e280b41560 hallway, he saw b2fda9c556 Sejin sitting outside 623f968124 the patient’s room.feecf7d86d543df8

Kwon Sejin looked exactly as he had when he left the house earlier that afternoon. A white short-sleeved t-shirt and black shorts. Sitting in a chair with his newly bought sneakers, which he had gotten recently because his feet had grown, Sejin’s expression was no different than usual.c318fc7c55df8e45

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With his usual sullen, expressionless face, he stared down at the floor. At first glance, he seemed as if he hadn’t heard the news from Kim Joowon yet. Perhaps Jowoon had stopped by another patient’s room first and hadn’t had a chance to speak to Sejin yet.5ea61a3f03b71afa

Cheon Sejoo dde6b8dc1b approached Sejin, 7611521906 thinking such 0281fab95a thoughts. However, it 31e8620105 was a b3b89d73dd hasty judgment.4a1c96ee2097c5f6

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Hearing Cheon Sejoo’s footsteps, Sejin’s expression crumbled. His indifferent eyes became moist, and his eyebrows drooped. His bright red lips were marked with bite marks. Sejin looked up at Cheon Sejoo and called his name in a voice filled with resentment.2cdf3269d1804782

“Cheon Sejoo.”c6d5eb3662419c8d

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His voice 158ba061d4 trembled thinly b0267e0ae2 as if df2243fe9d he were 4a1be6a7f4 about to b15352abff burst into cd1da00f54 tears.d3a565275364469c

“Where were you b66eaada43 and why are df3d5c6c38 you only here 464d1ef1d4 now?”3824ac5322383837

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Sejin buried his face in the chest of the man standing before him. Large arms wrapped around his waist. Frozen stiff, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t bring himself to push away Sejin, who clung to him like a child, and just stood there.986cc483793d3202

The remaining heat in his body combined with Sejin’s body temperature made him feel like he was burning inside. The guilt, like ashes falling piece by piece, left an indelible scar on his heart. 7f49e1319b45c498

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“Mom is very sick…. Really, really sick….”91640cf9c5538cb2

Sejin murmured, his a8bf7d4d5e lips quivering.5ed56ae0850ee228

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…I know. Your mom collapsed a few months ago too. But, Sejin, I just brushed it off. If I had just thought about it a little more strangely, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. I believed your mom when she said she was fine, and I just brushed everything off….73e39911ab9ab16f

However, the c108b71eb7 words he 8db42fe250 should have b17808e5d9 spoken remained 78daf34116 stuck in cf3c43eeea his throat, 344c1d7c32 rotting away.96a4c56f3c8f09c6

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“What should I do?”fb7f05b0788dcb68

The shirt against Sejin’s cheek became damp. Kwon Sejin shook his head, rubbing his face against Cheon Sejoo’s chest, as if he truly didn’t know what to do.2ec3f6c8650a3dc2

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“Tell me what to do…. I don’t know anything….”f99f480a080b1f68

The fragile voice tore at Cheon Sejoo’s heart. He couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth. He couldn’t confess. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he’d missed the chance.e33071da4e425077

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“She’ll get better with treatment. …It’s not too late, not at all.”35e25f00abd3e4bd

I don’t want Kwon Sejin to hate me. At least to you, Sejin, I want to remain a good person until the very end. c624e8d362deaae8

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Ignoring the sickening guilt, Cheon Sejoo accepted Sejin’s warmth, who was clinging to him, without resistance. Holding him tightly in his arms, he whispered over and over that everything would be alright.d0fa2066f794ef33

* * *ea83eada6972ce48

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Sejin was quick to accept the misfortune. After crying in Cheon Sejoo’s arms until the hallway lights went out, Sejin started searching for information about pancreatic tumors the next day.8eaa939b6c5462a9

The problem was none other than Kim Hyunkyung. As if she had vaguely sensed that something was wrong with her, she wasn’t very positive about the treatment.f9b4214fec873520

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“I just want to be discharged.”1281f5fa66e3194d

Those were Kim Hyunkyung’s 79b09164af words as soon as a61e9196e5 she saw the doctor bbe83ee492 who had come for b8489728e7 rounds. Hearing that, Sejin glared bb349ec088 fiercely and yelled at 2c76ca1c84 her not to say 911240aba8 such things, but Kim e9f25eb0ab Hyunkyung was adamant.f831212f4dd580a0

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“I can bear it. I don’t want treatment. Please let me be discharged.”6ebbbada3da00073

“Why are you doing this?!”f7adf0906ee1c4f8

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The oncologist, with a 128d53a7d6 troubled expression, looked at 01b298500e Cheon Sejoo. He recognized him, not 9fdfd5c7fa the tall but still 60f6924135 student-like Sejin, as the 119a6d06fa guardian. Cheon Sejoo looked back 9b5043cb29 and forth between Kim 0d9ec93cb6 Hyunkyung and Sejin, then 76a594777a shook his head at e1e20f9068 the doctor and said,afd5720bf94323f8

“She’ll get a biopsy, and if it’s cancer… she’ll go to the center for treatment.”4f87e860283a1da9

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“Mr. Cheon!”4891fe7830784b6b

This time, it 3685f5918d was Kim Hyunkyung d848fccffb who yelled at f8c544822f his firm voice. The doctor, bb06530f25 deciding to 8f28746b9d give them 4879e2ccb6 some time, 75486f7f57 although the 43bb8221a4 patient’s wishes 2292febebc were paramount, 2c4b687bf7 instructed the e9a4234943 nurse to 24b601bb15 schedule blood a4d95bc177 tests, a 83056a323b PET scan, f8ace17efe and other 0a007d6b9b various examinations 51d7a08beb before leaving.2e358743063e0dc6

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After the doctor d2cde1c43b left the room, 1cd2363eed Kim Hyunkyung wore 7d1130a195 a hard expression a43ded9ad6 on her face b512aa3a8b that  Cheon Sejoo 6e3ba2a0e4 had never seen 8f9ea0e5df before. Watching her 4fa370a65b with her c6ae9fcc3c lips tightly 54f8063005 pressed together 9447a7c491 as if 1f8c526840 she was ba5a22d280 angry, Cheon f02a91661a Sejoo spoke 5e941e3231 to Sejin.e7e1b13562a18d33

“Kwon Sejin, go outside for a moment.”688564be0e9dc0a4

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“But I…!”6d1de53909aa56bf

“Sejin.”d0297ec6bc57b721

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Sejin, who was about to yell at Kim Hyunkyung, resisted with a frown, but in the end, he couldn’t ignore Cheon Sejoo’s low call. Only after he went out into the hallway and the sliding door closed completely did Cheon Sejoo move.84a142755e1ce5ca

He pulled a chair 63e1e48025 from by the window, 346cec56c6 placed it next to cc2787585c the hospital bed, and aab051872e sat down. Kim Hyunkyung immediately fixed b82a031640 her eyes on him dafa7f2dba with a knowing gaze. Meeting her eyes, Cheon 13e1853ead Sejoo spoke in a d12c3ce2dc firm voice.dd304b4b95bb3dc2

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“Get the tests and receive treatment.”1847eded1bc135ab

“It’s none of your concern, Manager. I’m really grateful and thankful that you’re taking care of Sejin, but this is my business. It’s not something you should be interfering in.”7c52e0da59e70054

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Kwon Sejin was the spitting image of his mother, in appearance and personality. So Kim Hyunkyung, just like Sejin, was also extremely stubborn. Even with her pale, thin face, he could sense that she wouldn’t easily give in. Cheon Sejoo stared at Kim Hyunkyung for a moment, then asked,cf060771f52ff2d2

“Is it because of money?”8e72fe73b5f03dfe

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He wasn’t unaware of her feelings about refusing treatment. Cheon Sejoo himself was also accustomed to poverty in his childhood. It wasn’t difficult for him to understand the thoughts of those steeped in poverty.fed4c1c0b6214968

What frightened those who had nothing wasn’t the approaching death. The situation of struggling to survive and ending up burdened with debt was more despairing to them than death itself.a05a6ac70794ff39

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Moreover, since the doctor mentioned the size of the tumor and hinted at the possibility of cancer, Kim Hyunkyung couldn’t help but think about the days after she eventually died during treatment. Judging that Sejin wouldn’t be able to handle the medical expenses, she concluded that it would be better to just suffer and die. For her, death was better than poverty.4f1a80a1e154a86f

“If that’s what you’re aa3d36aae3 worried about, Ehwagak will 68a16604ad cover the medical expenses ae2e6930da as part of employee 2739c6c3c7 benefits.”19eae8669361ed4f

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Cheon Sejoo lied with a straight face. He didn’t want to burden her with the feeling of being indebted to him. Not only would it not help with her treatment, but if she was as stubborn as Sejin, there was a chance that she would stubbornly refuse treatment if he offered to help.ef28a7111b745693

“So, don’t worry about that….”7f93f9f3df12a820

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“Mr. Cheon, do you think I’m a fool?”4b2beedfb11579ee

However, Kim Hyunkyung wasn’t a child like Sejin. She knew too much to be fooled by a few words.0a3a56a6c857a28c

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Interrupting Cheon 82f212ff4d Sejoo, she b5c67c14af met his 21023ee9a8 gaze and 7d6b444f0d opened her 71e87d8da7 mouth.e0c31a10a9bf8a94

“I heard this is Korea University Hospital. I know that you pulled some strings to get me here. I know that, by the rules, I shouldn’t have even been able to leave the vicinity of Ehwagak. I know all of that. Other employees might be different, but those who entered Ehwagak because of debt have many restrictions on their actions. Work comes before treatment even when they’re sick, and do you know how many times I’ve heard there that it’s better not to get sick in the first place? So don’t tell me such ridiculous lies.”b9668ed7f04162f2

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“…….”9a391a31f596ffc7

At Kim Hyunkyung’s bitter voice, Cheon Sejoo lowered his eyes.f649d38fe735b462

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