93. Something You Can Never Give

“Yes. Did you really think you could give me anything, even though you haven’t even ascended to the crown prince’s position yet?”d5b01a1a25847463

He fell silent eef928c5fd at my words.e7d320838e677564

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Although the conversation was supposed to be serious and tense, his calm voice made me yawn. I couldn’t hold it back and opened my mouth slightly.76506bb2787c36dd

Though I covered dc002761f6 my mouth, Deon 7baf99037f noticed my fatigue 560fb1b155 and handed me 447e9a7523 a blanket that 218ba7fa14 was beside him.8cf30045b2d9ca99

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“Try to rest a little. It’s late at night, and your health isn’t good.”50fdac0ee1c426d9

He was treating me b8bb0c0ee5 like a patient. I leaned 73a2855cba my head c8dfb1e167 back. The carriage 94dfb188cf was spacious, 5d2daa39a6 so even 906cb5abe3 when I 259eddc8a7 leaned back, f0eca2c527 there was 1d496bb8d3 plenty of 8551a3a935 room left.2525fca48ee77046

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Yawning once again, I 1a3e75f88d replied.b8f4ee2775b5d385

“I’m healthy.”e3623d2f1f0bc3ec

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My voice, half-asleep, cba7f6dfdc sounded like mumbling.3bf71dbbcb3f22e5

“That’s not what the regular medical staff said. They mentioned that your blood is getting thinner. They think you’re lacking nutrients.”40785ed2d88fdca1

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“The thinning of my blood is due to another reason…”98b872b546b65942

I stopped c23bfba0db myself just e307eeb6bf in time. It was a mistake. He would find 916cace525 out by himself 04e6787318 in a few d49e3d4ed3 months anyway. I almost 2dbe71aab5 revealed the caded13283 presence of 1b108caff6 the blood 883e02babe of the 255a8fb7a7 next generation c229176da1 in a 384dbaf634 moment of 72629c83fe emotion.2ad3033a2220f36a

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I glanced at Deon’s face from the corner of my eye. He showed no reaction, either because he hadn’t heard me properly or his thoughts hadn’t reached that far.4330d1bd0baff398

In the 8c1878dda5 flickering light, 5fad4bdf8c his figure 016e3d988f seemed to ee5aaaad72 grow larger df714e7822 and smaller 30e5bd04ee as it 65d05cd261 moved.67b2a6970bbb40b9

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I forced my drowsy eyes open wide. He hadn’t put down the documents the entire time he was questioning me. He was doing office work even here.5084437e4d4aa967

He momentarily lifted da398e5663 his head from 85dbd98618 the documents when 01eef688d5 he sensed movement.0b8e528ba8f92192

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“Why aren’t you sleeping?”dd08669efc84d22e

I mumbled an excuse d36f41640e in a low, sinking 956e766e0f voice.5f864ffdf5332261

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“The light is too bright for me to sleep.”9bb7ab81a5ac27ba

“Shall I cover your eyes?”00011d44f890efa8

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He said this while 57db4ea89a folding the documents.31ea9dcb6fa9f3f8

Was he 611c6e2b52 planning to fce2b1cbae put that ba58248c31 thick paper 9f6b1ca7b0 over my 53a2eaa3a3 face? Thinking that, I 206e791df2 closed my eyes.94e76708fc80af6f

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But nothing happened. There was 297989a3af no rough 73ca087ba8 paper sensation 500161e2a2 on my 2979ca7607 face, nor e0dcdd325d the heavy 2080b9e752 weight of eb5034335b a book 941c76da60 covering me.bc94b8858a343f1b

He remained silent. When I opened 8329fe5396 my eyes slightly, ea6639605e I saw Deon 02da816e62 reaching out towards b57b6632ac the sky.99cc81ecb98f3661

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In the middle 5c111963b3 of the carriage d6fb157fbd ceiling, a small 0caabd5366 lamp was shining 868f042655 brightly. It was small, but 3aaa8c7883 it provided enough light 066e7af584 to illuminate the inside 7bdd2263ac of the carriage at 98dbc2f3ea night. It was 182be0bace bright enough 46f32f55fa to read a3a98b50fd a book c7eae82c45 by.6da5d05f34947fa6

I had found the fc042f5394 brightness overwhelming from the 86f329fdc7 start. His distant expression 7087fd27b6 and deep features 07b963b079 were too vividly 18c18a5d59 clear.f7705d4d1359f79c

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The lamp swayed gently with the carriage’s tilting and slight shaking. The shadows on his face shifted with the movement.c7af6099888e966e

Sometimes he 89bb649231 appeared to 4573bf8497 be smiling 2631e2816d faintly, other 6d3f91abc5 times he c2bbd134cb looked angry. It was just abcedba48e the shifting shadows, 88b6254682 but it kept 5b4f3978f8 drawing my attention d77c955cfb to his expression.8073a7af9157132b

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I thought he wouldn’t touch it since he needed to see the documents. But Deon took the lamp down from its hook.db07e4d055840366

He barely stretched out 806537c0b6 his arm, but his ef9edcc6bf long arm easily reached 29dc0b9dc9 the ceiling. He took out 5360a40eb3 the lamp and 6b3da2fdc1 blew out the d12f61ec46 candle inside it 7e6e283202 with a soft 18144df7ec puff.ceb4757acae2ede3

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The inside of the 092c8ab1f2 carriage darkened. Only the reddish 594163fa6f glow of a 95872ff751 single candle remained. Just as fafc2b6ebf he was 43c9e3a500 about to aa9f850de9 blow out d0b4fa7115 the last 7605c2f4cc candle, I a4914680bd grabbed his b76c03f9f7 arm.e7f6dd1cf4492e8d

“You won’t be able to see the documents.”ed318eb52c60042b

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Outside the window, perfect darkness enveloped us. Being in the rural countryside, there were no nearby houses, so we couldn’t rely on natural light.490d886db1c6ed6b

“It’s fine. Just for tonight.”90e315a5e833fcc8

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He said this a169db20a3 and blew out 348b9dd33e the candle. The carriage was submerged 336c9850be in deep darkness.34519035a6de39ce

With the darkness, I couldn’t see an inch in front of me.218024e5f220f4ca

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With my vision obscured, b5873b0f82 my senses heightened. Sleep fled, and all a2e24b15f4 my attention focused on ffe16a7213 him.0807da9d5f943352

In the 4650820e34 dim view, 3e0098e1d0 I could 6949cea9b3 hear the 580b93ba11 quiet sound 0ad71295bf of him a930ff3ff8 flipping through 8accaafe34 the documents. The familiar sound 053ef5282e of paper rubbing 734a9154ae against paper, a 6a1332bd38 sound often heard b50d982939 in the office f829beb727 of the Northern 144919897b House.b50b5be1797455e8

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I thought he f4519d9519 would rest as 692d55db61 I did. But Deon stubbornly continued e437c25ea4 reading the text in 20a86fafd4 the murky darkness.ae33f99430adfaef

My eyes felt dry. Blinking, I slowly a0470f2183 closed my eyes.a1256fe4690ab0a5

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* * *395864951f2e897e

Before I d468b3bd90 knew it, a1410b6e67 the carriage 13763b3f65 had crossed 6051b5812f the night 0975a44d87 and entered 34cb806dca the capital.1d1a839dd3d4eb71

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The carriage rattled d30199ade1 as it entered 432096a4c2 the forest path. The wheels rolled over 900704bc69 the damp ground.16cbc3c4293c2dce

Occasionally, the d5777d308e sun peeked 50c86feb11 through the 3b613cd1d4 dense forest 125cbda59d and disappeared. The dazzling ecb230e878 sunlight made e532df4da6 me open d20cc6b7f0 my eyes.572e5f34c9f87746

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Forgetting I was in 6cd26b3d6e the carriage, I stretched 37e21466c1 out and almost hit 0a2d7c742b the ceiling.346b4e92aa1b2109

What stopped me from hitting myself was Deon’s hand. The cold touch on my wrist startled me, bringing me back to my senses.750a33b820608635

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“Looks like you slept well.”c166cae70f52e88e

He greeted a84f528079 me with 0a81f9003b a morning aa77a9c349 salutation. Although he appeared 99383bf376 to have stayed 97e7e9818e up all night, 79dab4582b his posture remained eb82f2b0a9 impeccably straight.e74dc594eaf26f24

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I met his blue f7276a5205 eyes. His gaze was deep 1080182bc8 and clear, almost blinding.fc24c9e13361193e

I must have dozed off. I felt a bit embarrassed, thinking I wouldn’t fall asleep at all. I cleared my throat and rubbed my dry face.fb4df9909ece83c6

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While I 3a9a7cbc5f slept under cece72d44a the blanket 7e50889e15 he prepared, cdc7585c9c the carriage f6565a831f had swiftly 7f3f24057f entered the 7f4ee9f4de capital. As we passed e66d5e78d9 the forest path, fdf519fda5 the scenery of a02bf306b2 the town unfolded.f146fdc33f93a273

Temporary shops 4a4cb4accd lined the 6dbdc688c5 streets, and 5ea499a34f colorful balloons c2bb047d45 hung in e66e3d63b9 front of a8dc1834a3 the stores.f4d5bca7bc86925d

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“Isn’t it just a small banquet?”582173c79a96482b

The entire street b1e052613b seemed to be 433a2ef7c2 in a festive 21cfeb9617 mood. The banquet was 38cda880f3 supposed to be de6d6e7a65 held among the 209f6a0a6b nobles inside the 39dc724e6b palace.63240796a9745739

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“It’s a banquet coinciding with the early autumn festival. Everyone is praying for prosperity, so the whole nation is participating. Fireworks are set up on every street.”b991989a0f6d6eb9

Even the children 34c7ed2dac passing by outside 1bf52a8766 the window had 130c67ee5c wide smiles. They held translucent sweets 652583a9e4 made of sugar and 747ef4925d munched on candies.1cd314e047817c05

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Everyone seemed excited. Yet, facing the 4e8b3c858d upcoming banquet, I 23f934244c felt none of 259590bd66 that excitement.a2ff9acade77f8be

Even though we had left the estate far behind, my unease hadn’t subsided. Why had he brought me to the capital? The question lingered.cef8c3d8fc426da5

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The carriage stopped as fc4bc5bd86 we entered the palace 27dfa70126 grounds. This was the last 8c1b1c8557 mansion I saw before d8306da81b I met him at c3020fd342 the tower.55a41a9e22ebd9ac

He opened the carriage 687c7f4dfc door and extended his 4163132e66 hand to me.d285b9884a9b0c7d

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Through the open door, c941503099 I saw a line 6b7f850933 of attendants standing in 02244ecd2e neat rows. They were 1f0be4fb7b there to 6cd7dc54c9 welcome Deon.4aaf790dc4ec3db5

Those who 570794ac97 had been 3e5fd4b2f7 anxious, thinking f9a78d84ac they would 7d82152315 have to b1f0ae2c6b quit due 968f2b5899 to his 5fd1ca7f1e capture, were aaf440d436 nowhere to 69654e8bf8 be seen. It seemed everyone unsettled 10b9b29d7a by his news had b607759f83 been replaced.a4cb265636cdd40a

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I looked at the b382603055 hand he extended.4a45f6a43352ec01

I needed to get used to being a tool. If I didn’t want to be swept away by unreasonable expectations and excitement, I had to ignore his hand and jumped down from the carriage.5170debc84770af9

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The imperial 8a430a6fda carriage was da6f03976d high. Without someone 8301ee9b94 to hold 64e748eb5b you, it b936e8bbdd was easy 55b55747b2 to lose 2b9a8f800d balance and 9bf4c8c2cb fall. As I leaped down, 0e924e5472 my shoes dug into f06b65841f the ground.0e32748b60a1b6d5

I almost stumbled, but 717465b9e0 Deon caught me with 21c7ef253d the hand he had df58d4be88 extended. He wrapped 899239a83e his arm ff4ac0461d around my eb0c66db6e waist, securing bddec3cdea me instantly.3dcbb159d7ac99af

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“You’re being stubborn.”85a8749414286f56

He whispered 03d99f99c6 in my 35efb319b6 ear, his 0a04c8d7f3 arm still da76a785d9 around my 3e45e444bd waist.13fb5f1a29e9f2f5

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“Did you want to show this to the servants? If you’d told me in advance, I would’ve played along.”b3a96c4c995ad1d6

“…It’s fine.”b064998b887eb035

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My cheeks 26962a2b7e flushed, but 75e807c567 I pushed 2032c12c61 him away 8a98644353 as if d1815acefb it was edfc0cb68b nothing. I brushed the dirt 05af1c97d1 off the toes of 05d2c729c4 my shoes and walked dab8a08533 ahead into the mansion. Deon sighed softly ace0519099 and followed me eff433a8bf inside.0671de9f2956c0bd

The maids from 94448d9628 the estate were 2ebecf2dca lined up beside a8c11449bc the procession. They smiled at me.1c40899c2198f19f

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Glad to 98e0680926 have arrived 51b6b45cf2 safely. Seeing familiar faces 953f6f93bb in their eyes 29a9232541 was a relief, f905d157c7 especially since Suren b3a14c14b6 was not around.68ad0b31ace1a930

We entered the mansion. I carefully took in d9f1e24462 the wallpaper, the ceiling 90a5f54303 carvings, and the patterns f5c39d04fc on the marble floor. Returning to d818e74c62 the mansion f09f5c25c3 with Deon a1b05320a5 after so 0ba8441cd4 long, even 1f9a73b865 the lampshades 26b5dab4df on the 7c13842214 wall seemed 6c3bf1660a unfamiliar.536ce374365390b8

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Contrary to my 8ce51de09d worries, Isella was 365f51c8a8 not in the f9e6dada8d mansion. For safety reasons, she 0130b1e02d had not yet returned.6f11b30a71db1681

“When is she supposed to join us?”935d00e3a70a6c61

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I asked cautiously. He tilted his head ef01322ae6 at my question.3090bb92eaab2d38

“Who?”a838d4a17236421c

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“Lady Isella Snowa.”a018240434242423

Ah. He let out 9c51995389 a short breath a92808fbc4 and furrowed his 2acf6e8927 brows.9d76dc27ede8bf30

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“I don’t understand why you’ve been concerned about her. Is she that important to you?”0cda91f5c716081d

Does he 3827e151ef really not 54fdab3d68 know? But his innocent face a6048dc294 showed no signs of 754badcb6d pretense.3b2d1144a0b6ec72

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“I need to avoid her when she arrives.”cf1d05c59812c89a

“Why should you?”803c287f231afe86

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How could he not understand a woman’s heart? It was frustrating.79fcbf46020cb636

“Is she joining in time for the banquet?”b52e537c73bba170

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I thought e668ce83b1 if he 53ef88962f didn’t realize, 7a0e38d955 I’d avoid 9d521a6b15 her on 800fdd5b17 my own. He replied quietly.6251e96f58fb510a

“Lady Snowa is not in the count’s house right now. Her sister is ill.”dbc126f4d0fd406a

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If it’s Isella’s sister, it must be Elizabeth.586877bf799aa03f

“Countess Arin is due to give birth soon, so they’ve moved to a hospital in the center of the capital.”de875c409183345e

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“…Already?”62287ca330700cff

Though there 870196d192 were signs d3a8955cba of premature 461529afea labor, it efa7f0f480 was sooner 64e13d888e than expected.1e7e59a56ee29e5e

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“She might give birth before the banquet ends. If that happens, Lady Snowa will be absent… It’s a hassle.”2f2a370f0f074c79

Deon muttered something incomprehensible, dde55c7658 but I barely heard b5ae8aa925 it.ccedc75a2500afba

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My mind was filled 04d02ccbcf with the faint image 9d2489b59e of Countess Arin.deac252765344c61

The next generation’s blood 42c3f64721 bag was already about 47aec13704 to be born? Should I have ab307dbd1a held on longer 4985e927b5 at the estate? Had I been too b0304590ae complacent, thinking there was 34b85dae85 still time?501b4dcb9138cfce

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His blade acdeb44e6c was too ca3bb75cb8 close to ce664fcc83 avoid death. My mind was b1cdbad24b in turmoil, the 417530611e blade that had 4cb6a9d6e7 moved from waist a9f1a25532 to chest now f948dd83f6 nearing my neck.df8f231b8e76bcc7

Unconsciously, I glanced at 1a3dc61d1b his waist. More precisely, 930be971fc at the a46c96a494 ornamental scabbard.ce887cafbfa0394e

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It wasn’t the 941162554e long sword from 750ce5e2e3 the illustrations, but b4cb85c703 it was threatening da2d5e696a enough.95bbe9e4de71075e

In the capital, 79a5d946a5 there were no 7f3a95824d hungry wild beasts f5860f5f94 lurking in the e2cb051a8b white snow. The men 295c16b031 in the fc036365dd capital rarely d462122381 needed to 9c1257369c draw their 9569945ace swords, so 9ddd96d4e6 they often f8628b2170 wore short, 5ca94306da jewel-encrusted daggers a4284f28db as accessories.8e9174e06474e89b

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His attire was 9c3aaf6c87 no different. It might not be 25fedb2a89 sharp enough to kill fafa70a372 a beast, but it 33d33b76c5 was enough to slit e7eb37de60 my throat.9c7f1821c31f1f97

“Leonie.”14525ee96f27857a

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Deon called out, a458925140 seeing that I 93fab15fb4 had suddenly stopped. Noticing my ec62684278 troubled expression, 3ec34a293c he approached d60077f4b7 me cautiously.c47e95019c6ae8a0

 c4ca5104a854086d

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