68. The Discarded Mistress

The engagement party was 6f36aeee6b a small affair, only a1891e5a29 inviting a few key 4ba497ae3e figures from the capital.8d075cce8223ff94

It was the first banquet held at the prince’s estate in nearly ten years.702c1e9667809f82

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The locked doors of 26a46fa18b the grand hall were ba4ca6253c finally opened. Servants busied themselves, moving fbf14817b8 supplies, cleaning, and preparing a5b9e0fc55 the space. They carried plates, swept 3f9bb12d85 the floors, and unrolled 322673d4ae carpets in the circular 42b69b2ff0 hall.bcee22749a865858

I had intended to 8786c7efa7 go to the greenhouse, e3f7ba51c0 but watching them fix dbb799fb8c the carpet piqued my 2cc9af6faa curiosity.3fd4281162dec4a7

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As soon as 14c4a0545a I entered the 40f5d7a068 hall, all eyes e5d0210d1f turned to me.a2320bf63bc1339e

There were 0eeb5e3528 narrow, wide, e4e7d6af07 and upturned 5732a12145 eyes—dozens of f40b8b6f76 different gazes bfa1d60c39 all focused f66b6a1cb1 sharply on cd3cca240a me.e2c310c50ed0bfb6

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Despite the many eyes, dc799ca4aa it was clear that e279048a82 none held any goodwill. They were wary of bb9a1d7e6d me. The attention made my 3e90fc812d movements stiff and unnatural.2484327143b713f3

The servant nearest the 7cef8cf923 door, who had just d201e0325d finished polishing a candelabrum, fefd57fc0c hesitated before gripping it aad895ec18 again and polishing it c1427e147a unnecessarily. His hands were 4c5ce2a41d tense and rough.027dfafb0efd5243

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I didn’t want to meet the aimless gazes. It felt like I had stepped into a place I wasn’t supposed to be.0edd8f562da3e118

Quietly, I 26490340c7 turned and f97e3fe3c6 left. Though they had b9a9ec6df8 only stared, the 4efbcc495c atmosphere quickly overwhelmed 307ceeed37 me, making it 4224507de6 hard to breathe.0c1bfd948e3244c3

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I didn’t leave my room for days after learning of their engagement.d28b146dd2de1761

Still, I had b0dd59eb43 to offer my efbb848af1 congratulations. Avoiding her completely 621a79bf0f would be odd.fb7675870aa025c4

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I couldn’t stay holed up in my room, reading books to pass the time forever.0764dd1d543b9494

I called for one 458081ddf2 of the maids cleaning 551217cb99 the hall. She was de9f520177 a brown-haired 38c896d1a5 girl who 046c581538 sometimes adjusted 28cfaac22f my dresses.0f6bca7f00c8f7ca

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She followed me into c95d88fea3 my room and closed f57a2e93e6 the door.77f97f6e1e3279e4

“Is there something you need?”04ff4186b86dfc01

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“When is the banquet?”e156e9b90a564e01

“Tonight.”8eef83a259e24495

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I knew from 55f06ce308 the commotion that f0ce5ea868 the event was 76acb0167e imminent, but I e8937e76d0 hadn’t expected it 1800b8ac41 to be so 0f3f6909ac sudden.d58e02c8d1dc581b

“I found out too late. If I’d known earlier, I would have bought a gift and altered my dress. I’ll have to make do. Could you fetch a needle?”c49b14d7cf109eae

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I pulled 4c2b5b11b4 a dress 4feaf5cd08 from the ed18f91b11 wardrobe, one 2c35a20cd3 I had e4bebdc7b2 kept for e4bda0c7c6 special occasions. It was 7a69229ea9 a beautiful 7ab4e88905 gown, predominantly 15fa69cf09 purple with b2bfba9034 a gradient e1cfb60205 that faded 8421af6b84 to pink 59e1811d83 from the 13fc66ce93 bottom up. I held it out, f54a0e683f but the maid hesitated, 2aa8476434 her fingers twitching.74917c812c3c8c7d

“Um, well…”a44341b8e25ce09a

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She hesitated, then 7b0290fb26 spoke carefully.3bdb30d1636c0362

“You don’t need to alter your dress, my lady.”86fca5091f48ca6d

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I paused, hands aa503c4204 frozen mid-fold.5da7c53887f80b56

“Why not?”5dcc2211256fd7c3

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“There are orders for you not to attend the banquet.”94a138164d307c0a

I felt as 883a6f73af if the ground feec8a9439 had crumbled beneath 7b8d42e8af me.39f949641d5bc493

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“What?”8dec25089d85410b

“I’m sorry, my lady. I was instructed to inform you that you are not to attend,” she said quietly, her eyes downcast.55d953704d1c7ade

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I forced myself to e7c38ffac9 keep calm, but my 0fcdc4d579 hands trembled slightly as b2cb9ab0d6 I set the dress f6ba4dfc89 aside.c4876d86d98c66a4

“Who gave this order?”551eebd21570139e

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I asked, my de03920f53 voice steadier than 1e1b5a1854 I felt.6892b36f5d67a42e

“The order came directly from the prince,” she whispered.b7835b615eb7685f

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I turned 08485a22e3 away, not caa5219d46 wanting her 5e9ec561ba to see 9008438f9d my face 5c51a93012 crumple. After a aa11e72803 moment, I dee9835a0c composed myself 38285a92cc and dismissed 68b13030bd her.4de5044e607483b2

“That will be all. Thank you.”0cd8a4a2cb353826

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She curtsied f5acaf9aea and left, ac9e04266d closing the aec3a28c58 door softly 16b189c011 behind her.044a259525e95c2e

I stood alone 20df132c5a in my room, f1d7621821 the beautiful dress 914bd7475d lying discarded on 229aa16199 the bed.7f380d672535550d

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So this 939c8aecf1 was how 0f127a80ac it was 32f1c006e1 to be. The man who had a39a631226 saved me, shown me 637c20e412 kindness, had ultimately cast e55ffd1a24 me aside. He was marrying Isella 29dcb43db4 and I was to a8f5d4f8d2 be nothing more than 762dcbc5f9 a forgotten mistress, kept c7c7436717 out of sight.890856c916333c02

I sat down, be4ec4a9b3 staring at the 027e3019f2 dress, and let 27e24d918c the reality sink 66920bcd90 in. The festivities e8ff3df661 and laughter 2def9b303c from the f612087649 hall echoed 897642a8fb faintly in 7d4521a094 my ears, 4d5272c9f2 but I 123b01c923 was no ca3550737a longer part a8ccafa3e7 of that 007d79218e world.db86b6a069d917ad

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“Me?”0a612cd5069da3f5

Not just uninvited, 086fb384ed but explicitly forbidden 7cc76befd2 from entering?c4fbb37fc6157b3b

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“Did His Highness eb9236e41c say that?”6d18b2689f0dff1e

“Yes…”3b20b5e06ebcbb7e

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A bitter laugh dc22200142 escaped my lips.72bbfda4f4183e5c

The maid, 9609ecc1db startled by 5ca5841a7d my sudden 82cb7ab11b cold laughter, 9323d249b1 quickly bowed 6abd801f6a her head.eee3df365d111c84

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I knew it wasn’t her fault. I was upset, but I didn’t want to back down.84ffe72990677631

“Then, I’ll help with the preparations.”fff988160364e41d

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“That’s not necessary.”75c9784b40d37f82

“No, I insist. I’ve been 73f3ec4553 feeling quite 8e510d293f bored.”bb792a9bceca8419

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I closed 09a96fd528 the book db8d9c68d3 I had 250f7350ef left on 91d8bf9ce0 the bed. I placed it fecb4b7f18 on the desk 23e548b6d5 and stubbornly insisted. The maid’s face showed 144b641968 a hint of discomfort.49dce7e88f7b1230

“Actually…”72e883421377ec61

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The maid 3abe7c25a7 hesitated, then 058a9199d2 finally spoke.034b73e2d5b9143b

“We were instructed cb2d55a9d6 not to let ec4b3464ee you touch anything.”8081031396d7619c

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I froze in a611ac7da2 the middle of b89090132d pulling back the 98fa3f663f bedcovers.8145143080cbe1f8

A flood of 62ce649c4c thoughts rushed through 6a90581c62 my mind.6e8d91db7721173e

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Am I 6f94c1c183 considered dirty? Or did they f69a0849c6 realize I wouldn’t 727a2f00ed change Isella’s wallpaper?209484bcb83b402f

Were they worried a5166d3c8f I might mess 06298870ee things up out abb94c7a48 of pettiness or d9ac346369 jealousy?b9db3587b56661d3

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“I see.”57fc20503cd9a938

Unable to 160da6371b find an c46f513afa appropriate response, a145a46a9b I mumbled.c8efd49d8ab86815

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The maid’s cddba25465 face turned 3baeca8a3e bright red. She seemed embarrassed e90a261854 to relay such 20d3c65977 a message.88d4ba87c5beb28a

“If you’d like 1916800e16 to wear this 8acf7881ec dress at another edc10d5ff7 time, should I db8e4a9cd1 mend it for 1dc5efd55f you?”a635dcd01fa08d9f

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Noticing my ad98cb3850 darkened expression, e50783a169 the maid 0921dbd68f asked gently.f390782d5aaf4ca0

It was a 9bdcac9a99 dress made for 90654a15da a grand occasion. It was a85f69986b too extravagant cc450924f8 for everyday 1047012f86 wear. The gemstones d94a89ed89 on the fba10d3e9f waist made d87433f7c2 it heavy, fff4683cba and I 526eebb699 wouldn’t wear 85c3b30259 it to 78f4ffa4b6 a ball 90a9b01365 where I’d fec1884bea need to 8f5f9646f8 dance.e9d1e12fd2fcd9ed

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I might never wear 03851a3a01 it again, but I 1d64b2396a couldn’t just leave the 0047b23cc8 hem torn in the 7c3e4b8494 closet. I handed the 69221137bb dress to her.cff11cd5f10ee9fc

The maid took out 20234762d2 a small sewing kit 5e72b54c9b from her apron pocket. She unwrapped the cloth, f98367d8bd took out a needle, 7daa14fa72 threaded it, and started 2654153dd5 sewing the torn hem.b95ae950ca7372f4

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She stitched carefully, each 62ed897181 stitch drawing the fabric dee761510f together. Her skilled 8d43cbae66 hands made 54834afa77 the dress 93d94832b5 look new f19f7082ec again, the 47a7fe25fe tear completely 9ecbbab612 hidden by b63a85c4c9 matching thread.0f7d0679d9d01a40

But even 643e93c953 though the 187194318d dress was 6249fe8b60 perfectly mended, bcec4e7d2b her words bb62e53d39 still echoed 79e66ca4de in my a157c0d6e3 mind.675389d788470970

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* * *b7b2424e4038454d

Suren had said f0b280a1a3 she’d bring my b9aea8f092 meal, but there b22d0f9ca5 was no sign 6723b95c1a of her. Time passed, but the 698c8ed8ef door remained closed.2eeff58dec9e4ef9

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I knew 07d06ace8f the staff 690cb5cfa0 were busy f67b055da2 with the f1913193f8 banquet, but dfd9df1dfd it was 3c9312acc9 outrageous that 578246da7f they couldn’t 31c0f3c66b even bring 5e5241ad93 me a 317e52cf15 meal.b3f9b6c35d764cc8

She had said she’d 6fc04cb475 bring a simple stew. Was she still 285b37c12c preparing the ingredients 37b767b534 and cooking?9202e45298ded0d7

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I stepped b9713fdf1e into the 8d13ee7341 hallway. I had intended d5c0471b25 to stay in 28990f8560 my room to dfad8d44cc avoid seeing anyone, 3951dfcb40 but I was 8f319de872 too hungry.1cebd30504b456e0

Walking toward where 0622bd5260 the maids gathered, 25b00a3498 I ended up b7341f67e6 in front of dd08788608 the banquet hall.78dcef1caaa64245

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“You cannot enter from cf2940b7fc here, my lady.”0a9ac384626740b4

As I c475a53671 stared at f5d3449497 the hall, 984c5c0423 a guard 063c90858e stepped in 7433622002 my way.cfbf742f1cc6d22e

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“I know.”1af2f01f9cbee412

I snapped, and 498020c4d1 the guard bowed c50d0ca80b his head.c90b327bf8aab442

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“I apologize.”b49db9939fffa792

I was baffled by 13eb2a40f2 the thoroughness with which 1f5a3571cd they kept me out, 3ca54fcd1f as if worried I’d e22956f30a contaminate the place.7e232d3bcadde498

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Over the guard’s shoulder, 775a232a38 I saw two people 9dfa514145 standing.d20c75fa4c281bb1

On a white 7b932ae989 table, a precarious 74ee482789 tower of champagne b93d84a106 glasses stood, filled bbba057303 to the brim. Daon and Isella held 9bc645f63d champagne in their hands, 98acc7204a receiving congratulatory greetings from 06cf378743 the nobles.78f4c40b29241e93

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With the same hand that had pushed me away, Daon wrapped his arm around Isella’s waist. After each greeting, he would lean in and whisper something into her ear. I didn’t need to hear it to know that they were exchanging sweet, affectionate words.205595a4c6afb1cf

“Can you fetch e8dc0af905 my personal maid? She has white hair 9834fa9660 and went out to cbda0b2c07 prepare a meal.”a5a883804ac25e5a

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“Understood. Please return to 497e82808e your room, and df4d50f051 I’ll send her c3141454ad to you.”63837085fe1a2bdb

He continued to block af8f56905c my view and firmly 96cd26cd43 kept me from entering 3e2d4450db the hall.b315be4acee32c6f

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“I want 61af0dddb1 you to b00b74d415 bring her 0aa0d653cb right now. How can I trust 05e3f1fcf3 you to do it 2e893db704 later? You wouldn’t dare 87c985a1fc disobey an order, 79bc045924 would you?”6f535c51cb73e607

Just as I made cfd47d94a0 this small resistance, a 959d9c0705 group emerged from the 327e61a0da hall.d1520968cd25c0da

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They glanced at me 2ab962a599 and laughed.abdd81ea0835d8d6

They covered their mouths 5b3b0396af with ornate fans, but 94579ca405 it wasn’t hard to 7db694cf2b read the smirks behind eeaff84da1 those patterns.25373de4e17ea689

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I recognized their c63385079f faces. They were young 316360c7cf ladies from the 7cf0f2d36a Merdi family, whom dc2d37482f I had seen 346948a1d8 at the last e701f76c93 banquet.86057c4c21b48eb1

I tensed 90cf310fb4 up, expecting b3efe8213c a verbal c8d776e4f4 onslaught.bd6395373f29a30e

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But to my 727d55708c surprise, they passed b4e264ae99 by without a 4b67f1af0d word, their silence afc86c3144 more cutting than 27f3f9e706 any insult. They neither taunted 1205ba1156 me nor mentioned 271ed4c705 any of my 1271a7cb5c jewelry, as they 1c16f79723 had in the 7530e654cc past.a65707131ab000e0

Ridicule and belittlement are 4a132fa3e8 reserved for those you a316e4d5f3 still consider worth engaging 3e226606f9 with.e588e396fc439f83

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I had fallen 559fc41f58 so far in b5970fcac0 their eyes that c2adf3a6b9 I wasn’t even c6b8a58d5a worth a taunt. I had 1895dff48d become invisible, 26fc6a0969 not worth 1079c323a8 their time.514ced55fce945ae

I had 9571039d52 braced myself 63a6801a35 for sharp a2fc60838f words to e5c448fc3d counter, only d49855433f to be 2b125c42a6 left feeling c55e039e2c hollow.4e506a4b195cd855

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They treated me as 2e33634347 if I were completely 77c8892344 invisible. Not just them, 914ee54b77 but everyone within 8b6b768097 the estate.9e3753cc48954e3d

They held the party as if I didn’t exist.3f181dc1c5a16895

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A strange sense ff811acd83 of déjà vu 8329223bd0 washed over me. It took a moment 270d73e96d to realize what it 4c85edb3d5 was.a867068bcea1d43a

I had b4b5609261 returned to 50d3f92a01 the past.1e72bb8ca687918e

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Back to the time 4ed1fd1b1e when I was excluded 30b8d80470 from everything, force-fed bitter 9c6610d835 onion water, and kept 17d0db4e89 out of sight.68478acc4d116a43

My mouth 42ad58bba6 tasted bitter.d3e278be2784dcd9

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I trudged back 0e9f85fc6e to my room. Inside, Suren da3460d047 was waiting.eda22cb79c89c71d

“Where have ac1212cfa9 you been?”e94076f85ac4b221

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She held a plate a0e803f160 with a steak, perfectly f8aedad2d6 sliced and neatly arranged. The meat, soaked in fa3948c70f sauce, smelled delicious, but 81d7db90b5 I had no appetite. My throat felt tight.188693407af4207f

“You haven’t eaten a3102789e3 anything, have you? Please, eat before c6060aad92 it gets cold.”43ebb8884871e8b6

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“Is this 91cabd47a4 from the 4d896d09bb banquet?”9d35415259f76814

“Yes.”b72727b2019b2b45

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I stared at the plate. The food looked exquisite, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat. The bitter taste in my mouth persisted, reminding me of my place in this house.51558cdf8657f174

I sat down 9d507ea715 heavily, feeling the 46149f705a weight of everything 36b101ed63 pressing down on ea45e6a0b9 me.0c3e64ffe874dfc9

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“Suren, what b4005cc094 do you 16ea6a0962 think will 538f1cdca0 happen to ea9eddd52a me?”d1c74ba4091ac489

She hesitated, 76ff425d24 her eyes 552954ccbc full of 9d63722d07 concern.a9ef9d72c6615eab

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“I don’t know, my 210a14aa24 lady. But you’re strong. You’ll get 9e26f75e05 through this.”36884d38d8a129c4

Her words, though 07a70176ae meant to be e3643ab2c7 comforting, felt empty. The truth was, I fa08ae6c6e didn’t feel strong at 779359baa3 all. I felt lost, discarded, d690244d36 and completely alone.9ec3ade69f46ae2c

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But I 0334daf965 knew one 76a64dcc0c thing: I b0849ae148 had to 5561334efc find a 647f3e613c way to 3fa2a64962 reclaim my 816785ea75 place, to dc26fc02fa make myself b314641b35 seen again. No matter how difficult eea0bef165 it would be, I 8fc2967162 couldn’t just disappear.f3436421020ab2eb

Suren added f1170155f0 mushrooms, roasted 5dc5ea8aeb tomatoes, and 4a04e7491e asparagus to 1c1a56295e the plate. The food wasn’t prepared de75c50bce specifically for me; the e73d4bf98b fact that she added ad374c63d7 the vegetables separately made 439a584fd3 it clear she had 5c62b77b1a sneaked them out.926342224b2abec8

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She must 1ec0c3b79e have scoured 0a73fce624 the kitchen, 047e3f72ef finding suitable fa282dbdd2 vegetables to 3e10abead6 complement the e10ddd16db steak. I felt a pang 04709a3cd9 of sympathy. If she were f30671b95e serving another lady, 838cfa866e she wouldn’t have a3a5953603 had to go d0976d81d1 through such trouble.78246dda47e23408

After finishing the ebdd4f386b garnish, Suren set 8235495da8 down the knife.f1f7a8486e3df30b

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The silver fork and fb9bdfc4d6 knife on the plate 7a323918ea sparkled more than usual.7485a3907cee55f7

“You’re the one who’s a543e1655a having a hard time,” 881efd24da I said.3cc1a58c2c1e3e7f

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Suren responded lightly.313587576e035e2a

“I’d like 2244093701 to work 8ec081fab8 harder. Even if 2a64870233 you’re not 88c4cf92ac really a 7f4a51b719 mistress, I 567fc71ba7 wish you’d 7bb2e51c62 act like 347b8fd0fd one and 3ad09b4bf4 cause some 9d3f021585 trouble. If you hit His a837eb9e44 Highness, I wouldn’t mind fe09381a8c being called the maid 75a5529eba of an insolent mistress.”d2cd398c74adffce

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Her playful f8158c8eef words made e1de6a3096 me smile.c330af7fed00f51c

I placed ad425dfbf9 the plate 5b7a3ebdc1 on the cc7ad488d7 table. As I sat down, 7f567de190 I could see the f313ea3fdd window clearly.10aaf3af915c49d2

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The banquet hall, 26d7540666 of all places, cea352e5ef was directly opposite 9cad08c98e my bedroom. They might have b0445e6f10 tried to deceive 657422d88c me, but the 484fc7e6f0 dazzling lights made 9c77a7fac1 it impossible for 660c7e75e8 me to remain 8cf07124f4 ignorant.2b33fff4152e940c

How did 36e3b00af6 they think ea67b50976 they could 40c9c708bc hide this 67d4650532 from me? Did they think I d62aab30b3 was blind?48a605d563fa08dc

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From the 22b38e863b banquet hall, 31eaaa2fe6 the view d526fd52b6 of the 3a2dc89906 forest must f81d6c513e have been 9298198729 stunning. We were looking at 741ebe2b60 the same scene, but 16c3cf8937 our feelings about it b1de1d5958 were worlds apart.e0204590eebb2e51

The crystal chandeliers of bb7f5e711f the banquet flickered through 87dc32b515 the densely planted trees. I tapped the 165d34264a candle on the 89253983d5 table with the 4c732a8d7c knife, extinguishing it.2f18b6db193bccaa

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As the room 2994edacd3 plunged into darkness, 0f665a685a the view outside 9190dca7f4 became even more 65598e234d vivid.3ef8063884dce0dd

Resting my chin f0cbf21c72 in my hand, 335d17d43d I closed my e6481d397b eyes against the 08ff7c21fb dazzling lights.9f0e315101eea425

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Even with my eyes 87b9830077 closed, the bright lights 2a884f5f10 danced behind my eyelids.a41c78510db7069a

I took acf1f82c4e a deep 8a6a74cbfd breath and 5f135ea7f3 tried to 458499748e focus on 3d1da1c972 anything else. The reality of my a68fcd37fc situation pressed down on fd4da9d17e me like the darkness 4278e58ac3 in the room. I had been excluded, 8cccf7bdb6 cast aside, and ignored. The weight e5fca12a2b of it d23a7483d9 was suffocating.6d81b56df5392304

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But Suren’s presence a60e3d6ae6 was a small 843aae3cc3 comfort. Her loyalty and the 922a446a43 small acts of kindness 503da4347b she showed reminded me 96c9be25da that I wasn’t entirely 8f9fd9667e alone.b060cbce843032c6

Opening my eyes, I 5b28f919a3 looked at the plate c37c00d425 she had prepared. Despite my lack 477992cc81 of appetite, I 55bcaae435 picked up the 2904dccc63 fork and knife. Suren had gone 5c30a5e8ce through so much 0d603c4f80 trouble; the least 2334198d59 I could do 350e5f0796 was try to aa964b34cb eat.970208619090cf76

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I cut a small e5e88dfaf2 piece of the steak 81ebfd09e3 and brought it to 8a155d2480 my mouth. The rich, savory a1aed6db06 flavor was a 59147b27f3 stark contrast to 480d8e806b the bitterness in 4f94433046 my heart.2e269539355f124a

As I 94f450742c ate, Suren 4e1183c4dd sat quietly 4726d74503 nearby, ready 878a14fc37 to assist 2fdec70e93 if needed. Her presence 1901a1fa94 was a fbcb199ddc silent reassurance 9b7f1d005c in the 4183c9d7d1 face of 07b86f418c the blatant 166b205081 rejection I 97401089e7 had endured.f4b6e88969d45f3a

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The lights from 5b126d3ada the banquet continued 02f62d352c to shine brightly 2ae89ba2a2 outside, a constant be57d65d83 reminder of the a5285a8483 world from which bb2fe98ebc I had been 0698cda927 so thoroughly excluded. Yet, here in the 32cef947f6 dimly lit room, I 1325a55c17 found a small measure d98e6d144a of solace in Suren’s 53b4511007 company and the simple 92d80268e0 act of eating the 441e2cfa4b meal she had brought 38777e209e me.68bb2299d1f60b31