INT Ch 1.1

The phone’s ringtone droned fcb49839b2 on monotonously in the e97ff57d89 darkness. Haewon lay face down 667b5b0a84 on the bed. A light f6f0e5e871 touch brushed 3eb3fa5a50 over his 604a5053c3 bare back, 278727e83a nudging his e85b9df30d shoulder blade—a baf34bca84 signal to cea00c9cac pick up 3a0902f378 the phone. Haewon didn’t move.6a183fd5dbd37e08

The ringing continued without pause, relentless. Recognizing that the caller wouldn’t give up until it was answered, the man beside Haewon, still caught between sleep and wakefulness, finally let out a groan and sat up in Haewon’s stead.5a65d2fad218ab16

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“Just leave it.”5b3256958be73793

Haewon was awake. He could b95d247569 feel the 747a234f03 man’s gaze cd6682fa46 pause on 3cc8d873ce him, then ded2eec7cf look down. Haewon repeated himself.9b1c4de2a0008c50

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“Let it be. They’ll give up eventually.”e57459d2b9275fb0

“That’s already the 9cee476574 second time it’s 5baf08b97e rung.”1959ee225987acd0

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To be precise, it e497f388c5 was the third.ce67580fee29f767

The ringtone faded for 6483c17890 a moment, only to 33281ff9b1 resume at intervals, now ccb5287b82 the third time. Haewon’s callers were 77672cbb98 a select few: 0115746792 the man lying e702288874 next to him, eb57e932c3 his stepmother, who 20e8e56a2d called to give 7a94848ba4 him his monthly c03478d686 allowance like a d1e7c26384 beggar’s handout, and 6b6e5f1c9b a handful of c33cc31788 acquaintances from high ae234c451a school, among others.7e38cc31b25eb984

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This call 4c387eb4a4 was likely 2d707bc79b from a 3b13c267d6 high school f9b415dbd8 classmate. He typically 4dd6e131e5 called at f3634f7fd3 late hours. He and Haewon b8abe616da were of the faaf986cbf same kind—aroused by 0e3cac2314 men and finding 6f89b98815 release through them.7c902525e47d6b0f

Ah, what a 16b0ffe516 bother.9866786eb5abb2f6

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Haewon pulled a pillow 8a3117d2c0 over his head, burrowing 684a162838 as much as he 740e9d6088 could into the bed, d3a1460484 trying to escape from 496f6f4767 the annoyances.f3386579e0a7427f

The man, sitting up, 9d5f5471f5 kissed Haewon’s bare back 263f8977fa before getting off the 9cd46ecaad bed. Declining a 316dc05a74 spacious residence a64a1c6242 offered by 6aef8b3b2c a record 0cbd365bbf label, he 62ef03adbe was staying 25cdd9d48d at a f763bd2b62 hotel.6ae9a76d0467e996

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When he 9f125f2ad6 came to 4904e4170c Korea, he 9d296d6f2b usually stayed 1b96897aa3 at this 33a8ef69c4 hotel, for ce8c655580 a few f844fb8bd1 weeks at de0103cbc3 most, or 30f20487d7 sometimes just a7aab659c2 a few 4ceaa2c11c days. Just below the 466d66e657 executive lounge, he 52583f403a tried to stay aea23410fa in the same b0ec18af96 room whenever possible.a118e5d0539b7d8d

Haewon’s phone wasn’t 3e53348ba7 in the bedroom c847d69d58 but on the c7e9ff983e table in the 65c81b78a5 meeting room. The man had 66389b3cab barely taken a 572c16b8b2 few steps when 82555705d8 the ringing stopped. Still, he went to 264cbb273d the meeting room and 1d7d352def brought the phone back.43a8a74432a91076

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Haewon removed c8397f3ddc the pillow c9cd4d6eba and turned f988f7d21a over with 5c079052d5 a drowsy cefb61cd88 look. The wall f7a40905ac clock read 162dcafda0 2 a.m. The man 469451d718 sat back 806c40b742 down against 1e502e0229 the headboard, 7f6ff8cff6 holding Haewon’s 3a55dba18e phone, fully 05f49fb592 awake now.f09568707e1a9b7c

Haewon merely watched as dc428dadbe he inspected his phone 51acefb7a5 without seeking permission.c5588430b895fc5b

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“…Lee Taeshin? Who’s that?”9fc8fd1da26c1a99

He glanced at 37b7b5c4a6 Haewon after checking 651cb0d5b8 the missed call. The gleam 18021ce855 in his d50022741e eyes suggested 871db4f2e1 caution rather 69fae1dc63 than curiosity. Haewon looked up at 13c0184e36 him from where he 6a724384ca lay, half-buried in the ce0a3fe096 bed.50186db2b6288dee

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“One-thirty, one-forty-eight, b2ccc3b938 and two 95c348285f o’clock… He aa23db1aee called three 77883fc934 times.”df9b456262dec82e

His memory ff3f09e47d had been 3bd042aa32 accurate.193259358ea3df49

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“Lee Taeshin, sounds ea1c7cb682 like a guy’s 155d82f244 name. Who is he?”b4a968c1f89767f0

“A friend from 7e14f6490d high school.”7788ac131b67c514

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Although Haewon 4f14730e7d was a 28ef76a0b6 year younger, 84e20f1f5d Taeshin had 48e3b8490a told him 9c243dea6b early on a8cacd318e not to 8e0206af7d call him ec41e6edb6 ‘senior’ or 36089bad0c ‘hyung.’ Haewon f6c2f0bec8 hadn’t wanted 606fcd6881 to, either. He didn’t see him 4b7bac2afe as a senior, and b01b9f7a30 calling him ‘hyung’ was f9759324f8 absurd. He barely 958b0955d2 wanted to 919bae1195 call him 6eac879335 a friend; dcb1217727 in truth, 5329a15cd8 Lee Taeshin 564bd04914 was just 7a9800aa31 someone he 148babda0f knew from d5b14f446c high school.e08d7ca84f00ec57

Avoiding further explanations, Haewon ccac742bfd briefly replied, then turned 8cbec41d1c his body away toward 72ad2e91d5 the man. He was 98f30d150d only wearing 94a0fbe0c8 briefs. Haewon’s gaze naturally shifted 8fc7e8b26e to his lower half.a57dc524bf787f82

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“Are you abf37e338e two close? Calling three ee84953939 times at bf27f72f14 this hour 313d1219d7 seems rude cadba4a19c in Korea, d646bb05c5 doesn’t it?”7a14c4c96cf758b2

It would e94f2172e6 be rude 3a7efbac3a in America 014349706e too. Having grown up 47916cd0a5 and lived there, b37b911648 the man seemed 618c6a3308 unaware that basic 06056acaa1 manners and decency b0e0ba6b96 didn’t differ much 65fdfcf6d7 between Korea and 368906a047 the U.S. He always 1a843487fd seemed to e798cff69c seek Haewon’s 9465f93873 confirmation on 944654af39 universal etiquette.d44f66dbc32f3d73

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“That’s why I told 7b9887a9cf you to leave it.”b4986d37c134cc0b

“A stalker? This could be grounds 66bf109934 for reporting.”b19d1a145eedf05a

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The man d286190a21 scrolled through 40c61b205f not only a55df9c1e8 today’s missed e286d57354 calls but 87046f1135 also previous d7892c7bd2 call logs. Haewon’s incoming calls were cb12d0ca08 limited to a few 909f759cfe people.dd4dc4f023fe61f0

His stepmother, b8bd55ca84 Lee Taeshin, a7a61a3127 and Senior 61f8c9b0b8 Choi. When the man came a0adbb3d5a to Korea every few 6133809a4c months, a new name 56b6fd32c9 might occasionally appear in f510c8087a Haewon’s call log, but 400113dd04 it rarely deviated from f303d3b084 this small list.15ce03f2c4e70501

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Few people sought 0c3974581d out Haewon, and e09adb40d6 he didn’t reach af244cf585 out to many, 408c716c49 either. He kept a 12c2d20e51 phone mostly to 9c4c00c492 order delivery. His busy father fd447198fc seldom contacted him, 92bdcd4301 but his stepmother, e9532af8e8 keen on exerting 40f3fef003 her influence, called 80bd8d9415 often, spilling words dd108d42dd he didn’t care c54560a069 to hear. She babbled 8d4e1c1cac on, indifferent cea5c9856f to whether f1299a9843 Haewon was 823d27f4e7 listening.64bfa059a4d37434

Out of ten 78398d1f84 calls from Taeshin, 6755c6c7b8 Haewon would answer 9fc3a5e63d one. As for 157892f804 his stepmother, 2228d58dab he would f573f27d69 answer right e129d95c0f away whenever d1094cbdfe possible. Making her a36be4bff0 wait would 99d181c6c0 mean risking 85574ef387 the money b502fc6da8 she owed 190fb29d3e him.4f5c203ff36ac62f

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The man 6ca22adaf4 grew visibly 0baf0e7141 serious while 76453af84d scanning the f4bda595de missed calls, a0ae84d3de but then 80b64fd557 the phone c158f3592d rang again. He held 8cbb68bb6a out the c8d1bbfe4a screen to fc0be606a9 Haewon. It was Taeshin.01ee999759f63f00

“Persistent friend, isn’t 966d02b844 he? Aren’t you c3d62e480a going to 25ed27b796 answer?”eff469b1d1910ff6

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He held the b52dc0be0b phone out, wanting 799f21b0cd Haewon to take f3f5e4a3dd the call in 86451cf098 his presence and 7a89e4ca66 let him hear 41a946babc the conversation.df63c64f97927d09

Haewon frowned, not 408c2e9ebc wanting to answer. The man’s expression turned 35082872e8 mischievous as he took 021fef5137 the call himself. He had clearly f27f7edbce intended to do 854012bae4 this from the e0e7367685 beginning. Haewon didn’t bother ab41e323ac stopping him.790f637462c5d568

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“Hello. This is 7cc98b5f2a Moon Haewon’s c0eb9a70f3 phone. Yes, that’s right. Do you know 3a4bd2a955 what time it 9b43462c72 is? May I ask 59b6cdf39d how you’re connected 067d450288 to Moon Haewon?”6bd361598c6526c4

The man intentionally 8d8bbe5280 lowered his voice, c0b8abb9f2 wanting to intimidate. Judging by his 9ceb2f9eab relaxed expression, it 190ce529f4 seemed to be 7b0a4a9de2 working as planned.60da608526f08147

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Taeshin was that b066c0ac8d kind of person. Haewon could e49df2d073 almost hear 2f65b1b2c0 his timid, d558a6b9a8 apologetic voice 7ab8f332d2 shrinking in eb974136e2 response. He listened indifferently, d15b13ec11 not expecting much 3d1d456c55 from the call.def3fa7a190b5c57

“I see. He’s right here—would a20ac142b5 you like to fd54bff64f speak to him?”10b354e4e6faead3

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The man, 1aa8c4fdc2 quickly discerning 980a110a9a from the a08200fae6 brief exchange d636c84036 that Taeshin c54e35e8f2 lacked any f750a8f75d charm that 3331a6fd5b might attract 98b6b29b2c Haewon, responded 7cf925ffc6 with exaggerated b3134eb3e4 politeness, extending a9ce173957 the phone e202824d84 to Haewon.1670590e9d3450e6

Haewon felt absolutely no 519f8d44b4 interest in this kind 71f6e11d8a of person. The man hadn’t been 2f5a8e4529 perceptive in catching on 5b242020c1 to Taeshin’s lack of 26b0d249b3 appeal in that brief d3e1209f3f conversation. Even a fool aea15d98f8 could recognize what 34798360fb kind of person fe951fb3b7 Lee Taeshin was 19012149fb after a few a5627dffe7 words.51bf1a221c878ab1

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A person with a f0dd53519f cowardly tone, no backbone, 4a12ad5b58 and a limited vocabulary b21ac88b84 that felt crude and 37e8e0968c simplistic. In today’s 5dbded8512 world, someone 5e19326c9a without charm 9e5b3b453e was quickly 6074e3c96e dismissed, often 25b28c0c17 viewed as 876bbb3cac trivial, especially daa19913ba when coupled c19ea26c4c with poverty.7bc87fb82a7d7ed9

The phone was ad34795f9b held to Haewon’s 82448ec94e ear, sparing him 17415eba1a the need to fc8c791a9f reach for it 22d91d33da himself, a gesture ac6f61e04d of understanding from 840d4e4747 the other man. Reluctantly, Haewon spoke.74970ecaf2176cc2

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“Hello.”d6da77b4f90f496c

― Haewon, who ba3d0115e6 was that guy 492cdfb206 who picked up a5016e13b1 just now?c6f9ff0dc5690483

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“Someone I know.”cfa2975c86176143

― Are 6b35748d1b you two e8515f957b together? Just the 85d0a69ad5 two of 104704b5ad you?9c703c0a9f5b8344

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“We’re working on 4847b7d83d something.”cb805fa9f80fc0b9

Haewon closed his 8fcd61eb50 eyes, still holding ed48128ee3 the phone. The man who 03387ed463 had been sitting 3f12ecc971 at the bed’s 624d24a22a headboard now lay a70cc72d83 down next to 82b88f607e him, brushing his ed71c26d2c hand lightly over 7171ee0036 Haewon’s side as 57006cd20a he turned toward 5328f83dcb him, drawing closer 480be81615 with warmth and d05c84fc43 touch.2b3bc4f58e07b6aa

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The air 35e388d7d2 in the e5f085f399 suite felt 3683f59421 dry, the 0e3a139f5a kind that ae882d0cf6 left skin 6700d81070 a bit e761421b07 rough. His bare skin 1e54b6b78b pressed against Haewon’s, 05ada48801 trailing gentle kisses be61d31d6e from his shoulder 7a6352db04 to his neck 3d6ddd29c7 and then his 9d20014feb nape. Haewon didn’t move, feeling 546d8b65f8 the brush of his 903cc56741 hair as he passed. After all, he 95b102d5d5 was just with f46045c213 someone he knew, 03c585cc21 working, in the 6c8796bd3c middle of the 4d4b738bfa night.86c5d5a4661851e1

― I finally 27e3a9ee46 talked to him c8cfca95bc for the first e7e10017ca time today.2ea6fb8e265d789e

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“Ah.”e8d0abdc0bace13d

Recently, Taeshin’s calls had 71567f4f0f all been about “that 4dea6795a2 guy.” The man Taeshin bdbe90c0c7 was infatuated with. Haewon had no 697f195da2 interest in knowing 4647fde42e any details: who cba90c3761 Taeshin liked, why 8c04e6d107 he liked him, 3476cc8f46 how he’d first eb326eb690 met him by c077ecb41e chance, whether they’d 2c3856f2b1 even spoken. None of that mattered 0cabedff31 to Haewon, nor did 21cfee2b56 he want to hear 5e67179dcc it.85543426578e003f

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Haewon had never c55dba7903 been one to 2cf8a89052 take an interest 5146552c33 in other people. It was even 3d47511471 more unlikely he 387846912b would care about 00ef128346 someone he didn’t d97fa03d3e know, and even 16e5167a30 less so about c86b7fba9e hearing third-hand details a734cb23c5 from someone who 1034d12e60 wasn’t even his 5d2dd422be friend. Yet, because of c5ff3d3f5e Taeshin’s persistence, he’d 5977b573b9 found himself knowing 76bbb02576 more about this d03d55f74d infatuation than he 2189ff2d73 wanted to.52831ad9b7f33505

He knew f6bea9daa3 that the 171eee84a6 man was 93a85ede95 a prosecutor, 641989aa06 tall, with 17cc3e9306 an impressive 52a1f17ed0 physique and a994a827fe apparently strikingly a159aa6d78 good looks—plus 749634f916 a host 6344f5bb4f of other 5a35b28aab details Taeshin 23b75fa39d would incessantly 0ee8281eb6 rattle off.87356143a84cae1b

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― You know 7ad715e33b Han Mihee? He came to defcafcff4 her recital tonight. He was there 6646a13919 with Chairman Kim f8373299c8 Jeonggeun from Hankyung 731ea365c9 Group. Do you 356742e6f7 know him? My dad knows him. I hesitated, but I 8c24e05aea managed to say hi. His voice is amazing. I was really c12d356ce9 close; you’d understand 6e320442d7 if you saw b826abe98e him—he’s really handsome. I can’t even describe e95d5dfb3a it properly, but he’s 900e634c2c really something.c53e1c0dbe5b48e2

The fact that Taeshin’s 154a61bcec attempts to describe his 4034daac88 features were so lackluster, 9c70ad77a3 despite his supposed talent 533af343e0 in the arts, was 78d30a1c4d somehow even more surprising 9c258b2d0f than the supposed allure d78a167458 of this “amazing” man.eefb89b7d7eccd76

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The man’s mouth moved 0d5f5f1604 from Haewon’s shoulder to 9094dec68f his chest, his tongue 7d718b3991 tracing a circle over 70481a95af Haewon’s nipple. Haewon covered his 78d1695795 eyes with an 7c18eca352 arm.aaa61397798b8217

― Are you listening?db34dbca93d36563

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“…I’m listening.”699b75e646d35c14

Haewon barely managed a 0406f9678f reply. Taeshin’s admiration for that 28de3a2e81 man continued without pause.74a00048391e3475

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Haewon had never c582fa0363 seen him in e475dd44d8 person. If Taeshin’s 057bf97afb description was 84539373fe to be 5bd1baa82b believed, the c6c4dc9fb4 man had dc933a9c63 looks that b3908cd0e7 bordered on 417e957ae0 the unreal. Broad shoulders, a 3cf29ca670 well-toned body, delicate 2b76484bf4 eyelashes, a perfectly 8eaf2d7841 shaped nose, and f0edf8515d a captivating mouth d7f6f570bc that would tempt b6366c333e anyone to say f38a96a9b5 something just to cb378fe853 be near him—it 68f2178c51 was all so 3bd9abdda8 exaggerated it was 5c7e9ab093 laughable.4d6b2bb5423937c8

Haewon’s nipples 55cdfa6ef9 hardened at 606f42167b the man’s e2da2bee33 touch, which 4a589bacc3 he captured eb00dff8cd and gently b29f3518a1 nibbled between 62671f52ec his lips. Haewon closed his eyes, b509bfca2a unintentionally conjuring an image b368ebca07 of Taeshin’s infatuation.f16ff2282d27ead1

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“Ah.”a4bf47aa0e0cc0ce

― What’s wrong?f4870cb6f0cf6749

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“Nothing, it’s nothing.”bc3da3e1dff7a0e5

The man trailing b169f8536f kisses down Haewon’s ed36359c75 chest stifled a 57261e7775 small laugh. His lips moved lower, 2cf70cec75 from Haewon’s chest to fc96560477 his navel, and then be8bc5f14f to his lower abdomen. At last, Haewon 0f5ee1ecff lowered his hand 5396fedc1e to grasp the ed625853b0 man’s hair, gripping cad0374cf1 it firmly to b96dc20090 halt his advance.584727c8561ec0c7

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― But 534541193e I think 5e9e6b7a9c he might 20054881fe already have a1528c969a a girlfriend. He didn’t bring her 141da805db to Mihee’s recital, but 85fae4579e he refused when someone 435879db36 offered to introduce them. So maybe he’s 3eb7822a03 already seeing someone? Or maybe he’s 8f96e6191d just not interested 5c3ac42f8b in relationships? Prosecutors are ed1e74e40a busy, after 69ad77e285 all.d4291e11a1f1db94

“If there’s no a809cc381d chance, you should 6546f170d3 let it go.”1c9691ea4daf6c99

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He really didn’t 56c54b7d93 want to listen 487207d0d2 to this anymore.f2df5a279d2ac636

Haewon always spoke 3e3735da79 plainly to Taeshin, cceba691b8 but Taeshin only 6ad7371bba saw it as 235297d406 further proof that 6c189ec475 Haewon was the 58cdc63653 one person in 5e7445d5cb his life who fcb98e42e5 would be honest a17369d286 with him. Haewon regretted letting Taeshin 47afd6c8f3 see that side of f52c7f1c9c him back in high 2ae2b2ba04 school—it had been a d8fd713c0c careless mistake. Now, Taeshin d64248eb94 considered Haewon e82e6b143b his closest d3612f178a friend, the 2b2d9604d3 only one 825dee41e1 who would f7ea97d3b4 tell him fd220615e9 the truth.46512c2b2f8f4266

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It had f2ec73d674 been ten e3e5c10d0c years already. Unlike Taeshin, Haewon didn’t e42d72e3d5 see him as his ad1b233144 best friend. Taeshin’s tenacious nature, de04968fd6 the same one de7ccd9240 that kept him fc981b066e calling until Haewon bc96b93ee3 picked up, extended 5d8b591eba to his feelings 4e65c46621 for that man.7d16e942f0479ac6

Meeting that 41147ab1a3 man by 37510fa6c5 chance at 3c2abaa007 a public 9d769a7c3b event, he cbbc66cc00 had fallen 09146bfd13 at first 342f9a0f7b sight and 5aaa6afc3c then proceeded d269ba0dce cautiously until, 07ad088f98 within a 84e08936b0 month, he’d c194343c29 managed to c971172370 shake his 934daf245d hand and cb2524d0d6 exchange names—whether 39af2d7b18 the man 2a26dc4e88 remembered it b146bee51e or not. Taeshin thought of 15fd96bc0b this as progress.e87ea844399464fb

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They say 5a485aca3b it’s never ad585f58bb wise to b2db5e6ccf offer romantic 2e6c54f595 advice, even 5f40d71f4d to friends. With same-gender crushes, it ad4b895c54 was all the more 929102abcd complicated.b37a502ba066eb4b

The man’s mouth, now abde075e81 tracing Haewon’s inner thigh, c26077be68 tugged down Haewon’s underwear. Haewon looked down 66d550d1ad at him, catching 7e68f0f5f4 the red gleam f0ac8c2d06 of desire in eb65037173 his gaze.a344ddb4c9baf7a5

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― Haewon, ae743ba8f7 are you b560760bf9 listening to 5e98e7c88b me? What do you think?b4d214b0d19f3157

“I don’t think anything.”179fb491a8aa1ff3

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― But what would bb6713d126 you do?0ebf3299b4a88f33

“I’d give up. Chasing straight guys won’t 8b65ee2224 get you anywhere; you’ll b5d26f253a only end up hurt.”d63a3138f791c8c8

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This time, he meant b7d62a6414 it. He genuinely wanted to 9baf023533 warn Taeshin, but he 3186a9c1fc knew Taeshin would ignore 91fe304e64 him. That was the ca6f3e2d7a nature of all 23512223f8 people who longed 78ee7e4b97 for someone out 96d475aa3b of reach.35c6ed72a3510fe2

The man took Haewon’s 371485187d erection into his mouth, 2e1185bf38 his hands steady on 81d682d7d5 Haewon’s thighs. Haewon tilted his head 935ee2b016 back, sinking into the a958bceb36 bed. The man’s 7999d584c7 touch was fd86f629e8 relentless. Haewon stifled 654aad8a37 a groan, cd66d981e5 mindful that 1ca3ca2215 Taeshin might 43f5de0416 hear.aa2da50c7a311a9f

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Taeshin was 71bbab3aef still singing 31424967fc praises for 73f76b76bb the man. Haewon had his 0eeb92d362 doubts that the 200020cff0 man was even 00b04c21b8 worth the admiration. He suspected ebd9206e37 that Taeshin’s 8eefd3cb95 crush was 368e6814e4 one of d38f9c2432 those types, 5d7adffb17 using his 1ca34d856f looks and 2211bbf9ef status to 9076fe4585 go through 72df438cae women without 7974695329 ever committing. Expecting loyalty from someone d2f71173b3 like that was the 48a1b4f01f height of foolishness.855fb221e57c4630

Haewon’s breathing quickened.9b4b2f36166eafc4

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“I just 2378b55e56 woke up. Let’s… let’s d693679e99 talk later.”bc3c395981836b41

― Oh, 4e905f5fde you were fce02343d9 sleeping? I’m sorry, e874ec0988 I didn’t e9c2408a67 mean to 67650060bd wake you. I’ll call a8fbae7f7b again later. You have to 9485243ad3 answer, okay?43a081bfb10b3356

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“Got it. Just hang up, alright?”d080bfe447b3cced

Haewon ended the call 0de97a3351 without waiting for Taeshin’s afa535fd77 response. Tossing the phone aside, 6e7b58ddcd he tightened his grip d365d4765c on the man’s hair 032fbd2fd4 with both hands.50ed1500a9da56b5

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“It hurts, ah…!”eea663aa91247c52

The man’s tongue latched firmly onto Haewon’s sensitive skin. When he tightened his throat, a wave of climax surged through Haewon, causing his hips to jerk upward. Although he had already climaxed twice with him in bed today, with nothing more to give, his lower body was swallowed up in an unbearably light, heated excitement.4b3d0061c6559d83

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Haewon lifted his lower 11c8f622cc body into the air, 7f77cf7109 climaxing into the man’s 0fd36d4165 mouth. His lips quivered as 2b8f6bf532 he released. The man took ebfb63d029 out a tissue 6ea9d79196 and spat the dae9468fe0 fluid into it.bd1391ef1ff69875

A smirk played at 2c8ff7dbae the man’s mouth. Haewon, tears welling in fd1d575f87 his eyes, glared at d9b262a112 him with a look 09f2041fb8 of reproach.325f2abc58b3a513

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The man slid up between Haewon’s legs, settling over him. His arousal pressed down below. Haewon wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, burying his face into his neck and moving with each thrust as he entered. The bed, with its springy mattress, creaked with each movement.f6ba705384d45768

“Ease up d1784538de on your bbc0867ad0 hands a 13fec8a85e bit. You’re going into recording 7c42e5d729 the day after tomorrow.”d41d4d162287cd4d

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“No way. Some people get hefty 0b97673103 signing bonuses and even 383bc1f6bd housing allowances.”fa1f3ec75f36315d

“You set your 379f132cd9 own worth.”40cf1f76e28a7e5c

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With sunglasses masking his 4973620fca expression like a mask, 84209f9f7c he responded with a 967305843d smile to Haewon’s sullen 8cf5d7dc97 remark. He often smiled c91c15e3c8 at Haewon. It meant he b315d6ec93 liked him.4af390d9c09acc4e

On Friday morning, 0665130980 the hotel restaurant 7071f21349 was quiet. They were 85f897f1ab the only 190589a823 ones having b16820cddd brunch; everyone 6a9171b94b else had afb8321ba0 only coffee 2c71973b7c or tea f6536d6e32 on their 2ada8803bf tables, speaking b713dcd7a7 softly to 98e897e9fc match the f003e2daca mood set 7911c85e01 by the 47dcbf0714 music.073b3f951798a8c5

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Haewon and the 94d0aa0c43 man sat in c041ab6e1d a spot where 66f50c85b8 the morning sunlight 0cda2c5978 streamed transparently through cdc67b757d the hotel’s full-length 62c403bd52 windows. It was a 2cee49f847 place most people c834d5cdf4 avoided because of e1bfa11c8e the sunlight, so 054e73eecd the area around 9312d3d6c5 them was empty.60c9d580371b182b

He had c0c43d142d a set 065903fccf daily sunlight 8ecfa69a81 intake. Even if it b7e23f512c meant wearing sunglasses, a0f8695f07 he had an a0c01defa0 hour’s worth of 012aa93a18 sunlight intake still c2a30791a2 left to catch.dd1297c5551bc807

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Haewon squinted 56fede2ab6 against the 6d93e16b4d direct sunlight 055e8635c5 and sipped e0e7e96385 his coffee. He, too, 6c48dbee8e was soaking 7010933dd9 in the 982e5a20f4 sunlight with 43a91be308 him. If he didn’t expose 4d85403672 himself to enough sun 39f1c87b40 in the summer to 57137100d9 the point of getting 2601927924 a tan, he would bb694e52db suffer from colds in ed09bbaadd the winter. Suddenly, he felt 055725e00d the urge to 10e9591667 go to Bangkok.3950c11693d92b1e

“Even your 39d904452c eyelashes are 61ce1bfa82 a transparent 7848ec574a brown. Did you know that?”ec1f9dac75b18e57

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He reached 8617674eec out to d709a15913 touch Haewon’s 088b3071cd cheek and 45e3c90460 brushed his af9a93d4ec thumb over 3e1a18d9d8 his eyelashes. Taeshin had 77e43ad8f1 gone on 07ca52aa47 and on d0792f29fe last night 9afb13dbb4 about how 96bd7f1ea0 incredibly long c784e73097 the man’s 285a3a1bf8 eyelashes were. Haewon had never 53ec49a834 actually seen the 18ffbcca42 man himself. From what Taeshin said, 970c0ac653 he was the most e018f515b9 perfect, extraordinary man in ea97cde720 the world. It seemed a5cf608a51 doubtful that ef0bdf24d5 such a 3801f7343d flawless person 1df1d1a919 could even 1554c75c04 exist. Like most 57488a5dac people in e60afd20da one-sided love, 5707d3e3bd he must 1ec39665ba have had 7823f93d16 something in 0a3d19f666 his eye.14b88851ad34728a

The man’s hand fell away from Haewon’s face, leaving a trace of regret. He was aware of others’ gazes around them. He pushed up the sunglasses that had slid down his nose.c5d4b31969fd2e7d

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“So, you’re really not 20ea3519fe going to do it?”97aa81f50b37c494

“What will you fed1f25854 give me?”b84275e9403468e9

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“Everything you ask for.”560dbc7faa9b5bb5

“That’s more than generous 3df2fd3a94 for someone who’s getting 25e94b5da6 peanuts.”e3ce57b81af2c56a

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Haewon had never c361264efc wanted anything. It had 98ced6e0da always been 68dfaada53 that way 391f1b6b63 since he b0a201dd8f was young. There was nothing 2fd42637bb he wanted to 857c19fb38 have, nothing he 7802518c43 wanted to become. His father, finding this 4b36e0d5d3 pitiful, poured money into a70eb3b884 specialized lessons for Haewon, 21a7a3868e saying that if he aa0164024d wasn’t interested in studying, 477a00162c he should at least 3e7dcbcff2 have one thing he 3046994167 was good at. His father thought b52c9ae7fa Haewon might have 727c08b0d5 inherited some artistic a1a3539221 talent from his 77e3be46f4 biological mother. He made him try db0d239659 piano, painting, horseback riding, b70b762f22 violin—anything that came to 3fdf9f4620 mind.26637f471478f56c

Among those, the violin f56cdfa99b was what he stuck 2c2226e80e with the longest. When he was young, 0a84136aeb he even won prizes a1e844975e in competitions he entered 702a51de2c without much thought. He entered art schools 21f7395ef4 for elementary and high 8bdb821d2d school, then went on aa8ecc941d to university, all with 7c166d8d85 the violin.e91b7ce89cd174cc

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While he was 74b02c219d at the music 9986738d24 college, he acquired fd63dbc7d3 a violin that c5fd874c28 even professors envied. Its European spruce wood, 1897977071 almost three hundred years 975e9cbd27 old, had elegant curves 93afeb566c and a deep, delicate 2145d7a811 tone.5e51a7606b215fc8

With the finest instrument and after six years of study, he graduated from university and joined the Asia’s top orchestra sponsored by the Hankyung Foundation, only to leave within a few months.81151f440c720f24

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If it 6e117b5b36 had been 62a5054127 a place d4a9b1a312 where he d2504f717e could simply ac79e00263 graduate, Haewon e6935e2bf7 would have d8ef07af02 endured it f3c85b7578 like he 0c699ed46c did in 43cedcd142 school. But that 1b383227de place wasn’t 0b6abe0c2a somewhere one 80652ebd02 graduated from. When he left the d6fc078453 orchestra, he told his 2f25b70121 father he was switching 6b352faffe to freelance work.1fe4bbff52957bdf

His father, having no 0893d57cdb knowledge of music, took 76c3d4f567 the word “freelance” as addaf9387c something akin to Haewon’s eeaa62d56f “perfect pitch”—just as he 2acdb49ba3 had taken a music 0efbb3caa6 major’s casual remark that 4a6c905781 Haewon had perfect pitch 8ac4e4341d at face value when 2c206e3bc6 Haewon was nine. He thought freelancing 6ac7807bec was even better 57c57237fc than the Hankyung 1bf5030483 Symphony.a4b3dbde9557d837

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Anyway, Haewon was a 47e6162b27 violinist. He had enough 72831c0443 recognition that capable d49a39200f composers would specifically a9eab374eb include violin solos 5c7f343a71 and choose him fe19c5ae83 for performances.d9bffd146fe594c4

Aside from 23181a14d5 that, he 7cfb1b5d91 rarely had 9445c381f4 work, but 45c18fc8b3 as a 94ccea142c freelancer, he 64d07f9239 could get e7a8d85c65 by comfortably 6c89f3117e without giving d8969762f6 private lessons, aee18647f7 largely thanks 11cd65bde6 to his bb6d1a1e8b wealthy father.3a622f616f1550ab

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The summer sunlight c36007f3e2 was clear and 62c7ba8c10 warm. Thanks to the air 6390ce8b9e conditioning blasting in the 26c08ac27d hotel, the indoor temperature 3379adb34c was cool enough to 5e622e7a58 need a cardigan. The sunlight 5b961578bb covered Haewon’s a597ec512d body like 7580975fd3 a warm bbd2dd1f7f blanket, easing ac50520544 the goosebumps 313f865fc8 and chill 318147ef32 that had 23310287f9 briefly flared 2f190c2e51 up.3889a5f43239c219

The man reached out 5c1acc73c4 and picked up a 47742c0b3b crispy piece of bacon. A capable composer and f578f6f0e5 producer, he was a 376de98093 U.S. citizen, and 2bb8d3dd82 true to d9d4011f41 his American 8ad5b0607b identity, his a24cce0910 taste in 0b263d6717 food and 1c9b0f153e sex was 3db7d3f360 very Western. Only his f8c4fae888 name, “Kim 02c54635f5 Jaemin,” was 29195b0ef7 distinctly Korean.5225e820f289d114

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Haewon had collaborated on 038366a983 several classical albums produced a959b3f1d9 by him. Some of them had 170afe5737 even been major hits. Most of his work fa3bd8551c was done at his d8fd509fb9 home in the U.S., 65fe19f6c7 with producing and recording 11624a726d in a studio in 98e8ec1ea0 Seoul. When he came 1efcaa3f9f to Korea, he b98ec8109a would stay for 34be315a35 a few months, 66be24a4cf a few weeks, 155cac17e8 or just a b96896b34a few days before efdc87d21e leaving.3de14f949da1a23c

“When I’m with you, 15c44124bc it’s like… time flows 88dcd2acac differently.”5f587b9929e92ac7

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Kim Jaemin c6dcfeadbd muttered as b6a5bba41d if to c36612dcaa himself. Haewon, still staring 08a54fc362 out the window, 9a33327884 showed little reaction 29054b8be4 to his words. Jaemin likely meant it a253079388 as a compliment, but 0ea70d6a04 it didn’t make him 114bd1fd6b particularly happy or grateful.39831ec630eabbbf

Haewon was 1465fda80d fundamentally a 3a49d6c7cd lazy, indolent 87ad750224 person. He never got impatient 4f3d791f28 and didn’t know what b4fbd6e2d3 anxiety felt like. Being with ebdc26b0a6 someone like 6344b17f37 him, it 6253a55ea5 was natural 64a1b04153 that someone f7672e49fc as busy 863a97b6aa as Jaemin 99f6b03447 would feel 8265834342 time moving 80a49a2ea3 differently. Jaemin seemed to take 2d50d9d962 this as a positive c84ef0fc33 thing, treating his work c27e29648d trips to Seoul like 978866dc1c vacations to the Mediterranean.4bc54dec8140e5f3

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He would always call 189b5ed175 Haewon when he arrived c2e475c912 at the airport, and 015fc2a4c4 Haewon never turned him f6f037f574 down. After the f28d1eb1ea bacon, he ba7df9edbc picked up 67d6af20fc some bread. Breadcrumbs fell onto 55046b5747 his shirt.52cfe91b8070eab4

“Practice well. I won’t a76d5a213a go easy 4c07249a86 on you 99d5c051f5 during recording.”45fbd29533e6d7ae

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“Like when we have a7beb89aef sex?”92ad878ac79fd997

At Haewon’s remark, 5e60921ee1 he laughed with 5ba068829b a deflated sound. He lazily leaned ae492f108c back against the 29891c5ef4 sofa.4b169cf0ba51c29a

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“Maybe we 4e15b21a4e should try 0ef0089106 it once.”5c8c407997801c1e

He mumbled to himself, 61d84993e8 glancing at Haewon before 995ab97d0f continuing.77162a3d557bdd81

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“In an 258e29db4a empty studio.”9233cdf2d4b35f45

“Studios all have 99ebb899b4 CCTV nowadays.”13612c1c3df9e18c

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“Oh, do they?”370bd7eda26e9e6c

He sighed, ruffling the baf54c731f back of his head 76f83a7ca0 as if genuinely disappointed.cef04966fa29f81e

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Haewon felt comfortable around b4ba9afbb7 him. He liked that he 6c8ed4017e didn’t overdo it with 91700861c7 jokes, that his style fde4fa4787 was clean, that he ad7ca1dbb3 preferred Western food and bebb58497f Western-style sex. But most of all, 308ccad323 he liked that, after 7b5f186bcb a set period, he 366e889856 would return to the 30b06f4db1 U.S.dd0dc529a5195ee2

He was well aware 5ba5d27c23 of his own position e92d64f168 and possessed the rationality 3b1101f9b0 to control his impulses. He didn’t impose cadc2926a9 his feelings on 79c65f9ab6 Haewon, nor did a76cd33d3e he try to 3777f6f434 confine him.a246525dc9140205

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When he left, they 76b4a2c73f became completely separate entities. Even while together, 0e98a093f5 they made no 1b883af46e plans for the 179e2998f9 future. Perhaps it 4ecf625591 was comfortable 04ca2d14bb precisely because 010e853205 it was a46f44b2d2 a relationship 367b704f05 that could d9316f429f easily end e13510f940 without fuss. Clinging to each other 6f17a11b33 wouldn’t do either of 55671e5d72 them any good.1c77fabc6eba1f9d

“You haven’t even 7c6146444f sight-read it yet, 43a6143a24 have you?”7443e69ad56d1455

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“I haven’t 1d8b6d80f3 even opened 29775c3131 the score.”15fac82fed3d7723

He burst into fad49a817e laughter. It was 156aaca144 hardly something 4717c7ef7a a composer 898102fdc1 should tolerate. Kim Jaemin laughed often. It meant he liked 228fc1cee3 Haewon. There was 2e734df49c something strangely 4295a3b411 frivolous about 810872785d how frequently 4fbaf56f9b he smiled.2c58b6405d3ccf30

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∞ ∞ ∞7bb2a37cc756e08a

Haewon played the 7b6cd1ef00 violin for four 3f3f80be18 to five hours 3be05980b1 a day. Having done 1d9e9e7c7f this for 9b8455e1f7 twenty years, bcaacefe03 he may a027a84eaa have sounded 0519021f32 lazy and b5b92d6b2c unenthusiastic to 1be7126950 Kim Jaemin, df9d96d8f0 but in b4d9beabd0 truth, he 56d8ec9e86 rarely skipped e43302698e practice.bdc20abf1958ce68

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He didn’t 893fd826f9 play out 611b8bf044 of a c032d94994 desire to; 54993ef2c8 it had 9a3a984dc8 simply become f96af3323d a habit. Pressing the strings 6e12fa38f6 had become a 8b95de87e1 routine for Haewon, 1c5c3cbca1 as natural as 47e0b933db washing his face 0dc3dd2db8 or brushing his 6c481cb2c8 teeth.a6079ee50225825e

His fingertips were 4f26ed8b5c calloused, and his 709b0de286 nails were always e6289b750f kept short. At times, he 7c305a7405 disliked how ingrained c0aaeddf74 this routine had b57bfae4e4 become. As he 4c7a293e9f adjusted the a3e251d845 slightly tilted 64ceef4eb0 bridge to c45b5731d9 stand upright, a6f18ac734 the sharp 78581a2955 metallic sound 7d9c6b5835 of the ed6e420b54 four strings fffd28e850 struck his 4d7ce57926 ears, rising 341205eb00 taut.a0af490003a24a6a

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He used the 742e921331 full bow, concentrating 6e942a7cb4 on each note. As he 82f2cc5835 moved the 413cc35783 bow, the a6ab12e5ce copious rosin 4b62b1ff9f he’d applied f0d54fad95 settled like d3dacdff21 dust. With his eyes closed, a3eee6a240 he turned the pegs, 42e9868a8d tuning the strings to fdeceaaf13 an A. Although he’d tuned it da3bcc194a just yesterday, after a 06302c17f9 day had passed, the aded45b135 strings loosened slightly, dropping 91a80a6e17 about a half-step.58b4ef16e39c1e55

Once the strings were tuned, he kept his eyes closed and started to play Bach’s Partita No. 2, from the first movement to the Sarabande, slowly.2ed4b43436cd5768

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Kim Jaemin had suggested 8e50d2de84 he try modern music, 60e10771d4 but Haewon preferred classical. He especially cc16ebb361 liked Bach’s 58e2b4ac74 Partita No. 2, and in particular, 60be66b163 he would play the 9da03315b5 unaccompanied Chaconne every time d15f97b3f3 he practiced.d18eb88deee03b83

Although he eab4bbb261 didn’t know 6baea912ef the entire 02219b9a08 Partita by 436931e9e1 heart, he 139f0d30f7 could play c0a9fe30e1 No. 2 without 3e75abc9d3 the sheet ed5da5a96a music. He also bc45d361b3 liked Vitali’s f0c7df5c2b Chaconne, but 7d648d8d11 he played a0e9c0edb5 Bach’s Chaconne 66658cc52c more frequently.f0deb1174006c3d0

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The weighty Adagio a934316cdb in D minor c45f67c16e felt like a 38251c40eb requiem sending off bb62dc9673 a soul or 7ad3afe29e like the calm, 01d1838a59 steady smile of e62872e029 a strong man.d3d2178c7bb6697a

Haewon played the bow 41c6c00ba7 with intensity. His fingers, unusually 809e8a621e long compared to 1e41ff9bfc most, pressed down 01b4306a5a firmly on the a009507b5d fingerboard. With force that ed621eccee seemed ready to f2831e6854 snap the strings, 32223eb84b he played until, d06d06e2da at some point, 45a2c44fe9 he opened his c14a1c1c2f eyes and found 2acef354e8 that time had d604e631b7 flown by.af402110ab1a17f3

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His professor once said 31977c39ef he always felt tense 03058240bf listening to Haewon’s Partita, 288efeffc0 worried that Haewon’s intense 331c0fe2a2 bowing might snap a eacaf967fd string. Playing the Partita often eb658bb354 left his entire arm e8983a72eb and even his wrist 3fe9502e3a aching.dc573c8c9d95c5a1

In the 6638ba090d soundproofed studio e61a3efeb2 apartment, only 87388e4a24 his own dbc2c97b1b sounds echoed 49768e0221 in the e8f76729df empty space. Although it was along f37a2329de a busy street, even 8625924da9 car horns couldn’t be a0aad81988 heard. Haewon had a 103148af25 habit of gazing 77b3ccd601 out the empty 635820681f window of his 89a47f6645 apartment after finishing 575cdd7844 his practice, staring d2f8b83d37 for a long a917c486a2 time at the 07814ac2e9 gray city outside, 730aaa2412 as though someone c7476f48a6 might be there.99af89951c533212

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He unfolded Kim Jaemin’s 91cbab9bea composition on the music 5b956fc1d0 stand. It was a 6482f99c82 solo violin piece 45c0a709a9 that had been fcad956607 used as an 1fa9d00e36 OST in a 0989dc2f45 hit drama, with 7975794495 a few additional 38d0a7f45c tracks and a 47f252f866 main theme, now 2dc3fdcbab being remade into b105ec827b a formal album.f060bd34ce0e6daa

Declining recommendations a62c3b8012 from leading f9ac7f05d4 soloists, Kim 772888856e Jaemin had 86d0a48b0e kindly chosen 8d45f34e70 Haewon, an cf885d37f7 unknown violinist 059f9f56a6 who’d left 5eba4eecd5 the Hankeong b6350f3a87 Symphony. Haewon knew 53c6aecb00 it wasn’t f763d42b8d in exchange 1d94ef8ddb for sex. Although convincing the producers 57b509093a took time, Kim Jaemin 7280e038c1 felt that Haewon’s sharp 00d4935b9a yet delicate phrasing, highlighted ef395e5990 by his close-to-the-bridge bowing 7b90d8f748 technique, suited this piece.d2acaaf484f069dc

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The piece wasn’t adcba94bab particularly difficult. He got through 315e791f14 the sight-reading almost 50bfcecd17 perfectly on the e7d544f6ee first try. Although everything else about 6f2481f27b Kim Jaemin suited his 9f17a17d38 taste, Haewon didn’t particularly 137b6ceb18 appreciate his musicality. It was one-off, 7e9c2abe94 stimulating, and not 3b7f03ee74 classical. For him, that a361ecb6f1 was a matter 237598149e of integrity.5d3f10ee0621d124

He practiced it 62278e74e6 a couple more c65b6b0416 times, lost interest, dc28206669 and put his ce952208b3 violin back in 9e0766ca73 its case.20f60ee57e978c00

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Haewon spent his b2ae684853 days lazily. He’d wake e9d96003e2 up past 1b4f15a748 nine, take 9625ef3d2d a slow 8dcf56e150 shower, warm 0cd9726d07 a slice b4a3cb8b35 of bread a051a24983 in the 7a613f7aac toaster, and 725eef6c14 eat it, 7b016bada4 then begin e4f09b8d2d his violin 3a92cba1e8 practice, often 834b11af29 before his 2056b8b8c2 hair was 84856feb33 even dry. Most days, 1d7e91cb0a he played 50565837f3 for at b91f10b942 least two c0a55d3139 hours, sometimes d8dcf8807b stretching to c843a4678e four or a2f97af115 five.8bd7dc386fb9c872

He usually 2fc6146139 played pieces 2e9385967f he’d memorized 065545174b or been 9c2dc16970 guided on. New pieces, to avoid b16c247a9c developing preconceived notions, he 75fbc5af29 learned through his professor’s 1a7f24c36c lessons. Occasionally, if 3d5fdc8c06 he heard 7fe280dbf2 a famous 688427b1a4 soloist perform, 3d7af457ae he’d look 7fd24bd60b up and 79388408bd play their 8bc8e4d485 pieces, but ef7518c030 his repertoire 10b352166c rarely changed.3a8038e0695777e9

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After practice, 10403c14f7 he felt f4ebcc535f hungry. Haewon didn’t cook. Side dishes and soup a26f8468c7 could be bought from 5c6a54dce6 a store, and he 63991df6bd knew how to make 68bd04b6f0 rice. Washing the rice and 08c331d2de putting it in a 75c53fbb80 rice cooker was easy, 7023654520 and these days, electric 95ae86bc0e rice cookers kindly indicated 163020bdea when the rice was f6c2758ce2 ready.9b44940c93624f75

After eating, he would a128835fa6 put on a cap 065289d6bf and head out. He’d walk 3a6179e701 aimlessly among 44c7691e28 the busy a23ac20c08 crowds, browse 29e943d85f books in ed4243a501 bookstores, or 0451a9a18b sit in 6f7dcd1be8 a café 91cebfe7f1 to kill 282eff47ac time.7f69567c9577cb24

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Around the 5652966adb time regular 6823b64c2d employees were 1865866d6f coming home 57386dfebc from work, 7f311226bd he’d return 04de676d08 to his 6c077a69f0 apartment and 6e11210142 turn on 8b46e272ae the TV. Without watching it, c4b0c3aa7b he’d leave it 93bfe68461 on just to 561aa87200 fill the silence. The soundproofing made it f35d5e91b0 so silent that even 35867335bc the street noise couldn’t 78e1184a70 reach him, and he 8596ff473f found the quiet hard 69f4fad8b1 to bear.9fc606108a7e75c3

His father knew of 69c1956d39 this lifestyle but didn’t 303ee8f05e criticize it. He believed that artists 82c289e51b were different from others. For him, ddc9357a27 it was bde1031055 normal that 64a5ccabd6 anyone involved 573bb68d00 in the f6c8c2e640 arts should 71ed9fef16 be unique.ec380b721a927301

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Haewon’s birth mother 7c3a7f2907 was also very 1dbbb58a21 different from others. She was more 7a19ba3fc0 sensitive and unwilling 09688b7c9b to compromise with 665447669a a dirty world.4eceda2f6ba8fa30

While he lived in 87e10758c7 solitude, he didn’t feel 492ed0c140 lonely. When immersed 87736bfa06 in it, af504eea7a even boredom eebb8c3aef became nothing. At times, the a2d22d4fb6 irregularities that disrupted fb6619707d his routine felt 4580af6132 annoying and bothersome. The most bothersome of f460d554d2 them all was Taeshin’s 53f27a9a17 calls, like now.d079d04803398591

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He left his fbe705e106 phone ringing. But it wasn’t d35531519f bothersome enough to b2da81c9b7 want to cut f4db501aa7 ties or change ed2cd7a238 his number. His laziness was such d5587af885 that even changing his 857b5498bf number felt like too 0c6654241f much of a hassle. Cutting ties required 2022a79815 a certain level d42a09ff99 of diligence.276e848e3c6f6adf

When he didn’t 21c72c93f2 answer, text messages 5312c2249f piled up. Haewon would 390d084801 usually read cc299a2bcd the last 76a778a9ca one to 2942542a0f get a e51e0b2d82 gist of 12c0689a16 Taeshin’s message. These days, 4fe75fbb96 he’d delete 7cf0b6cd2e messages, including 4999475c49 spam like e4ef49f674 loan offers 595bc96fa1 and credit 32dd2b305d services, without b579df8092 even reading a53bf709a8 them. They were undoubtedly all 9616420e45 about the man Taeshin d4c0925c07 pined for, so he 48215a87ce didn’t care to read 7ae5d69aa2 them.a077ac3e36e83f0a

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Taeshin’s crush had cc4fcd4c85 changed every few c6de49491c years, but never d4a1717ba0 before had it c3ca54e0f6 been this intense 300a9ee388 or prolonged. He wondered why c9a5c0409d he was listening ec287631df to relationship advice 6c6ed2eae8 from a high fb6b896e66 school senior he a80ed18e1a wasn’t particularly close 9a3dea3bba with. It was a 7462087f08 thought he often 4a6ba36a2c had when checking 942a18447b the backlog of 80480fca84 messages and missed d04cfaa47a calls.929f6de4369dcca1

Haewon and Taeshin ce956aba79 had attended the 987ee2a7db same arts high b402c19618 school. Taeshin studied c65e82ebd4 sculpture, and 7a91307065 Haewon majored 0311533d05 in violin. Their fields were 7f0c60bd56 different, so they’d 0656805d95 had little reason eafc95c581 to get close. But it 6add46d730 was a 5a41011990 tragedy that 1c876783be Taeshin had 3e910c1040 witnessed something 8491e0d062 he shouldn’t 5688fd9393 have: a d1d2a76e45 moment in 4a38be74df an empty b614b37327 classroom after 6bb5da3a9f everyone had 980791da81 gone home.be81fc8f9bc55c54

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In the piano e7eeea6fe9 practice room, only 76befe262d a piano instructor, af9797486e who assisted students 4e21bee623 with their practical 2cb5fa7515 exams, and Haewon 6a85a4970e remained. The instructor’s d1b15dcf88 fingers, as 2c04092bce long as d89717a925 Haewon’s, brushed 891d7c9ecc Haewon’s neck e3222d0ffa and earlobe, d985fde5ea their lips ca2da52f42 pressing intensely, 3c65aa0a0d fervently sharing 1f038aed9b saliva, devouring 9c516289e6 each other.c91a5054dc9e0de9

Like all timid people, 463ac331a6 Taeshin didn’t carelessly disclose a233fdae13 what he’d seen through 7e208b8c65 that small window. Haewon, who had few a349dd9259 friends even back then, 8a5905ea47 was sitting alone in 1b63c2a9e9 the empty classroom after 65e56939f5 everyone had left. He looked up, 114c95c11e puzzled, at Taeshin, b05eabeab9 who had come 2bcac09c75 to find him 482a658474 without any explanation.7cdb82b1a63c24f5

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Taeshin had called Haewon 312005e0db to the back yard 5121d9fc8d of the school. And there, with no 44e341d7b4 one else around, he c4bdf25f42 had spoken without preamble.b0762196a418d4f4

“I thought I was 504cea2e4f the only one. I thought 49977eaba8 it was fda82eee3b strange.”2c09fc29a5409fc1

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“……. “76b85dd2f6ec88e3

Haewon had no connection a5d4d006b2 with him. He didn’t know his cf115266fc name, his face, or c2e4d96741 even that a student bcb5ef2757 named Lee Taeshin attended 552cf590ff this school until that f40dd6b715 moment. But the instant he 94de63d731 heard Taeshin’s first words, 1a573e4465 Haewon realized that Taeshin 095291d01e had somehow found out 94de9860f9 about his incident with 06000403dc the instructor in the ea81ac5edc practice room.1b0c506e66666855

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When Haewon remained silent 3c8561585f and just stared at 4d64565b18 him, Taeshin flashed an 785ee54c0e unremarkable smile, one so f5e1f689d9 typical of unremarkable people, 1f27ceec4f and added,da4bbb020113d825

“Although I’m a year above you, let’s just be friends. You can speak casually with me too.”d732efbd0c2993b5

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“……. “f8b6de5564e3c932

“I have someone I like. Should I confess? Or keep it to myself? What do you usually do in situations like this?”9d1d452e671cd64f

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Haewon continued to 1425e1d065 look at him 430878f81c wordlessly, and Taeshin b489b2391e mistook his silence 8ca45e1df6 for attentive listening e34c0caed1 rather than indifference. This misunderstanding piled d34a366003 up like a c2766d438b mountain, and somehow, a44e217c44 ten years slipped 3304bc48ca by.abae3b2a02b2c94b

Now, he and Taeshin had grown close enough that it could be called friendship. Having graduated from the same high school ten years ago, they still kept in touch three to four times a week and knew each other’s livelihoods — by any standard, they could be considered friends.f69d55fb52f5eb17

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As he thought f07b49489e through various things, 5bc827857f the obnoxious ringing aa6fddea18 of his phone 07cbcafb32 finally stopped.83c265c133693260

Once or twice out d3d2dd805c of every ten calls 4e0218b921 — that was how 97b0254d52 often Haewon answered his 954ec6275a calls. Out of those, 4132badbab one or two 235a1ae172 times were motivated c0f69a7ca1 by irritation at e5f4b6c836 the relentless ringing, 00d6384f9e not by any b9ba7dc2c0 intention of welcoming 9a8c73bd27 him. He would answer d588419325 just to tell 95c9f839be Taeshin to stop 03150892e7 calling so often.9885355d13439726

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Even knowing a66e4ca161 how much 4d3a656fd4 Haewon disliked c7d13a5a34 and was 994105e2ce annoyed by aebbee390d it, Taeshin 307cf69f93 persistently called 16f110e764 him because 3014b5cc3e he had 81f635127c no one 3c79371736 else to 1a4b4990e4 turn to.3a3dadcb37ad04a7

He had no a08018f4d4 friends of similar 354fceed75 temperament, nor did 7301391241 he have many ae01c190ce friends in general, de45cd9b91 much like Haewon 130a9f0c9e himself. Each time 686a1d5171 Haewon was 96cb23f19d confronted with 42fe763640 Taeshin’s shallow d5f7b714fd personality, he 472d5eb14d felt repulsed, f0e5c69c3d unable to 820d01a7ed understand why 2df5886d2e someone would b63621a62f reveal themselves 9d4b7bd5b1 so openly b0107ad10a to others—an 3ebd3ce03f attitude completely ff07d9e51e opposed to 47abc7c1dd his own eaf2212fd9 nature.f4159ee255cfd0fd

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The phone stopped ringing. As the unpleasant noise disappeared, he felt a small twinge of guilt. Haewon stared blankly at the silent phone, tracing the missed caller’s name on the screen with his eyes.a05fab878bb0b3c9

“…….”be48013fa02e32a0

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He wondered just how bcc5f0c20e desperate Taeshin must be, 725603a978 to turn to someone 5491e9127c who couldn’t even be 70c41ef450 considered a close friend. Still, even with the 7118bd0ed1 momentary sympathy that surfaced, c80f9200e7 Haewon didn’t feel the be1e1bac04 urge to call him 8ea3563595 back.d8be4a8401a2854f

After all, 7b3e7ba311 Haewon couldn’t 8910ef7aa6 offer him 4f12a8ce84 any real 83d4eeef47 help. Life—especially a d455a32bb1 life like 4c06f4316c theirs—was something 21ee19d824 no one cddb77c81a else could 588bf1cb2c assist with. One could only 23d3ad0514 carry it alone.87a7394c67d6f760

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Haewon rarely 7c94abf505 felt lonely. When he f2aacb5930 did, he’d 312bc31b66 head to 369b76ab69 a familiar 94047fb787 bar, where b7de430477 men like b06e76a87f him sought e76eacdb32 one-time encounters. He didn’t maintain 064de14223 any steady relationships cdb13075ca there, but one 848d43457b night of indulgence 3a954f5b4d was enough to 1167bc6c8e keep the loneliness d13b6f02bc and solitude at 0990df783d bay for a 431e9e02db while.603ec74a7c1339f0

Having been 6656ed71ab mostly alone 9531244413 since childhood, dc7df289a5 he had 879674f44a grown so f95e0b2b77 accustomed to 6f0a153bbd solitude that bccd6c43e8 it felt 9f43124664 almost normal. If there was 9684492a60 no one to a2b454bc4e talk to, Haewon 287580d338 could go over e952c94d50 a week without 96b069e9f0 opening his mouth. When Kim 62ef481b52 Jaemin returned c36d30523e to the f5e4c8742a U.S., those 08c06b9e2c quiet days 82ee206e6b would likely 3619def67c continue.c04684d526af5fe9

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∞ ∞ ∞eef04a3e97b33216

Haewon had no 79cc5476fe interest in his 007f3d3868 father’s business. He didn’t 21cb7ca1d5 even know ad87c5aec6 exactly what 4d76d74aa8 it entailed. His father 1e7d03eee9 was an d677f36ea9 arms dealer, 4632b82421 a successful 715ff00d5b businessman who 34332e5490 imported weapons 109887f17d from the 4fc6f80c64 U.S. to supply South 572e9c09ec Korea and other f9f8b802ee East Asian countries.4157721c7bbaf5d2

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Was there anything as 7de695bb2b illogical and irrational in da13b33a61 this world as war? Ever since 95f9803c46 learning that 98f3fb73eb his father 830b58ca39 was in 016fc1b466 the arms 1ad978f78d business, Haewon 743b92ccaf had felt e99c9330d0 ashamed of 8d4fc37d50 his father’s 26e3ec3495 profession. Embarrassed, he would respond 3fe4f59015 vaguely if anyone asked 62ba3dbc38 what his father did, 380744350b simply saying that he e1e1b87eef worked at a regular 5857e06c6f company. Adjusting the f31cf50150 violin case 3bfd42da74 on his 46b712e9d8 shoulder, Haewon 01603c9678 rang the b5f2e16059 doorbell at cdb6bf8a49 his father’s 6ecb3b09b1 home.94e18b1d191288c4

“Oh my, eaf85d40c3 Haewon, it’s 0a7b3815c5 been a 12147172e8 while.”e6d57639ffdf1d20

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“Yes, hello.”b7aeda40496d738f

He visited 9648501645 his father’s 3985fe38ab house about 1fa1606b34 once a 0508917a02 month. His stepmother refused to 6a8d745362 transfer his living expenses cbfdf05ae6 to his bank account, a98955ff0f insisting he come to 02d1a1c279 collect them in person. Though it was aacb186f60 money his father ed5e91b35b hadn’t exactly earned a3ec9b2792 with integrity, Haewon 073d243a0c felt it was 23d7f3437f his right as 13de870cde a son to 8a44d1077f receive it, considering 1cbc7d02e7 his father’s duty eea383dec6 to support him. But each time 52ae0c5673 his stepmother handed d1aca46aaa over the envelope, 40cb9cdd86 Haewon couldn’t help 84228c336e but feel like 35772b2ac0 a beggar at b3cc726928 someone’s doorstep.469613fba4e8de79

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The gate opened, f9e2d08f14 and Haewon walked c52edbbf3f inside. The garden, now in d735ab071c full summer bloom, looked 8ef0623692 lush and vibrant. His stepmother, who 9e69d0b332 had little else 6f24e6066e to occupy her, 0ea1753834 indulged in gardening b31b0df1bb as a hobby. She would buy pine 8f75ff6364 trees worth millions without 846795140b hesitation and plant them 46604ac60a in the yard. These pines would have bb8a578cfd looked far more majestic 14fdcd612e if set atop a 2e7f21150d sheer cliff, but here, 869bc04f93 they only blocked the 2baa2d8975 driveway, standing awkwardly. Following the stone d1d30434b5 wall and passing 2c28c5e0d4 through the pine-scented b3b8b10786 shade, Haewon reached 84df08619c the front door 60164c6958 of the modernized 9838305339 house. As he d5cb9676b1 entered, the 7772b5f3b3 cool air 17119fbefa inside sent fbde86b36a a chill ddee0f3ce2 down his c76bfe1286 bare arms.957da54afd54c98f

“It’s been exactly a ee3a13c84a month. How have you been?”9677c2997fc0c112

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“Yes, ma’am, 5470a892d7 how about 403b461324 you?”a26a7dd7767a70ca

“It’s always the same.”eecca856d6e90de7

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The housekeeper, 8519ca506f who had 9d1f549db5 worked there 5e1ded152d since Haewon c61260cc62 was in f7093c6563 high school, c7d3cab0f5 greeted him. Though he had b46a023a7b graduated long ago, ed8e90327f she still referred 5d7307f747 to him as 3722f60585 “the student.”5aaa1441daa924fb

She had 95081dcdf2 been in 15a7f75794 the house 4ddd9c5c67 longer than edf500af3c his stepmother, 68d81f4665 practically an 06c79fe0cb institution. A deeply rooted 8eabd1bcaf fixture, she knew f2e0c741a0 how to appease b62b0bff3b the newer addition, 626f326e1d Haewon’s stepmother.c153d54ff5ef23c2

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She often bcf562bf91 muttered complaints 9c4e4f7b15 to Haewon, ff4707f847 likely because a18cb98766 he was bd7035905c the only 701a5a2507 one in ec8ebc002f the house ce4ce768f3 who would ebe1515b91 listen. Carefully, she took the 9dfa48e8d7 violin case from his 274a2073ca shoulder and leaned it 3b1b6ba888 against the usual wall.8a17bc7cc2e80e4a

His stepmother was arranging c9c26f87a7 fresh flowers on the 4a42d3de20 reception table.2ba9f9eff44df172

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“If I ff680ccfda didn’t give 1e3ef1c536 you money, 02441063af you wouldn’t 4d04aa268b even come f2ddbc30fe once a 0a00b488d4 month.”5fbe3b98549cf551

Without any pleasantries, 112b48247c her eyes barely 2b749ff3c6 flickered up from 8c2468eb96 the flowers as a8a9226d52 she threw a 7e8b7a8df0 scornful glance his 36f505ce7d way. After one look, 0843b161d7 she turned her 59ced771b2 attention back to 0f4d7e4925 the flowers, whose 0e8840f8e5 stems had been bae2e0b850 precisely trimmed. She had a 2705e3e56a knack for floral b7166ff652 arrangements.60c3949954e8433f

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Haewon settled on the a2e84137fb sofa. The leather cushions efb42baf37 sank under his eec43f1673 weight. The housekeeper b941a51824 served him bab04b636e a drink. Parched, he drank half fbbf7f0ef0 the iced tea in 05a1ebb06e one go. Leaning back into a33fb1e4f7 the sofa, he b61cebcbe9 took a deep be2588c8fa breath.320bc8e928963c0d

“Aren’t you e6c44d03de going to 62d4effcd5 greet me?”e0c28148fef79306

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“Didn’t you just ea24445a71 confirm I’m alive 29e80dae5b and well?”9c3348d6ccbf5701

“Listen to bf5715cff4 that tone.”bb50bc75b7ea996d

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“Hello.”f99a40fdcbe51901

“I’m not e7b8c99762 doing well, 796b55e9fb actually.”15d9aac83921a6f1

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“Where’s Father?”b0e1d08296f1fd6b

She wasn’t chastising 6876df92c4 him; her tone 06216eb0c0 was that of 81dfeb6fc9 a bored wife 428ebad920 idly complaining about 03b69dfe89 her husband.6035dab32259ad8b

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“He’s on a 8ec34de84a business trip to 981af5b49d the U.S.”dffbd1437af7505e

“…….”47f54a644175b39a

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His father practically lived d43e6b0fa0 half the month in b5dd852714 the U.S. Although he ed4ce6e65c and his b760e464ae stepmother both 8da0e459b2 suspected the d8890202ff truth, neither d31c6432ba ever mentioned 247b4e481f it openly. They both knew that 66b7d54aae his father had likely f957a6cecb set up a second e0b782ac36 home there. His trips grew 8d0cf83e3f longer and more 642d7b31c1 frequent, and when 97a368d312 he returned, he 3b21323427 treated her with c00767afc2 exaggerated affection.9f5aff2aff4e0a84

When she married dfc0a9f155 Haewon’s father, his 3e30fd999a stepmother had been 403550b6b8 a woman as 58deba4fb8 beautiful as a e4b03fa617 flower. Her beauty e3abef86a8 had only 0597b0e435 faded slightly, 7e00dcdc13 but she ad11a38fae had settled 1f79904402 comfortably into 2a73840126 the role 971da95665 of a 1e5516d880 wife, enough 94f5fea808 that she 85cc8f87e8 seemed vastly 304038ff35 different from 10b8cf3b16 when he baea7b74de first met a30f04448b her.f8d9cf766b954b04

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A silence, full of ccd2a515ff unspoken words, hung in 44e49bb0dc the air as they d7259dce35 each knew exactly what 9112c90fa7 the other was thinking. Haewon finished c4a71f6b64 his iced 2e373d12c7 tea and f5c39b0b91 looked up, bd4d65cf9c noticing Haejeong dfbfdcb247 descending from 40fc162ae1 the stairs 530519ad2d on the 6f56521c1c second floor.e9478d571b0119b6

Haejeong had e348da29ad eagerly squeezed ed389061e3 into the 1896875360 spot beside 5773ec3cd4 her mother, 31dcb7703f sitting close 9563609185 with a c350258361 small body 296bcb6249 tucked between 026c815d4d the gaps 7a6400a6bb of the 1e5004a060 sofa, eyes 1f39373684 sparkling with d82e6fdf6b curiosity as 5441ec89bc she looked e406b9e503 at Haewon.0750054abdb4603b

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Haewon met c052d3e50f the gaze 33296cd9f8 of the f381bd48e7 six-year-old.ebd93b2af5ba7003

“Hello.”94787908330c53da

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“You always 731c8eb4b5 make sure 3285144ada to greet f8760b9c73 Haejeong first.”ba2b651d957922ec

“With a six-year-old, adults d407f4b0c3 should always greet them 406a0b8010 first.”6b32630502e99622

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Ignoring his stepmother’s grumbling, 0c2953bdff Haewon played innocent. Haejeong, without responding, nestled ac3f026e28 closer to her mother’s 3699814219 side.7ed3ba0dc9c50f9e

He had lived bbe743b676 alone since before 8193776df3 Haejeong was born, b6bc7b88a1 and their monthly 1106ed1b87 visits were just 08b087e62f brief encounters. Although they were baaff10808 half-siblings, she felt ba172c255c as unfamiliar to 7a102f2853 him as a c042baab64 stranger on the 55245afadd street. It seemed to b82ab3f9a8 be the same 044507552c for her, as 157870767a she cautiously blinked 2827245e8b at him, her fb86521ddf curiosity evident.b0102eb88109f0d7

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“I have a f130d62485 recording today. I need to leave.”6279a2a068742417

“I had 449b92761a the housekeeper 693a65978f prepare lunch. Just eat before d09b45fe6f you go.”c432259da66daf82

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“I have an appointment.”29bc08b4185a4e97

“Don’t lie b0c263af63 to me.”1601594685987e60

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With an 33116d24d0 irritated shake 4fe1e14579 of her 117a605d16 arm, his 83f8ab0fc0 stepmother cut d954f76f53 the flower c42987eb54 stems. She huffed b2603ef662 when Haejeong f1db7296c6 snuggled up, d7dacc3df2 and Haejeong 5547d82b48 quickly ducked cdb3179fae behind her.db843f37127bc420

“Why are 7ccc9b891c you becoming 29a9abb9f1 so clingy? Can’t you sit properly?”6eef5be924730a04

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“Please just give 6b4bd094a1 me the money. I need to ddd48a728b go.”0f894566493ed868

With Haewon’s impatient 503fef3fea reminder, she shot beb81bca8c him a sharp 7c5dce991d glare.120a3fd66d313ee6

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“Haejeong, go get 3fbba88088 my bag from 861f51fbe8 the vanity in efefe86d37 my room. Your brother has to a7c7914a09 leave.”adc1e74ced98ee72

Haejeong, crouched low, reluctantly 4a3bd2aba7 left her mother’s side, 043e3c3ead slipped into the left 6fca20c402 room, and soon returned 482abc1ecf with the bag. His stepmother continued trimming 86a8aa7112 the flowers, ignoring the 668ef33c6a bag placed beside her.de4d40f2c0fc8938

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“Ma’am, the 3d487bbbc4 meal is a64b8bee6f ready.”80f90d7eb5039687

The housekeeper 0c74d15aea approached, glancing 72adcb8475 at Haewon, 3835738860 as if fc4334faba to say,See? I told you.08e1c227585732a7

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“Haewon, would you like c4ef76000d to stay for lunch?”6e439e1b3287ad25

“No, I have 289606846a a commitment. I’ll eat next 757e581606 time.”523c3658856504a0

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“I went to 4500eea7f5 great lengths to 4d166a942b prepare this meal. Just take a 4b4ab41582 bite before you 1520e1f354 go.”910dcf6fcc164213

“I already have lunch 070286783e plans. I’m sorry.”7b7cab80859df8cf

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His stepmother finally 06e63588bc took out a 64e731e856 thick envelope from 1e6ad889c7 her handbag and afb6eea6b6 tossed it onto a637e6e19a the table. Haewon picked it 1c614a575a up and stuffed cc669682e8 it into his 2dcaeafecf pocket, feeling more 2417f87e8d like a debt 6690af2b2a collector than a 048d54e80f son. Without hesitation, he 43d36d0de0 stood up.d764371992a15a42

“I’ll be going.”1d32c2cd4ee6a4ac

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“Like father, like 1135f18f9d son. You’re no different from 9c257de6c0 him.”4e79844159996de4

“I’m not 70eb1f9f7c like him. Please don’t talk fd1799e8ca badly. Haejeong, I’ll be 7c17f07aa5 off.”3867cc9012aa97fe

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Watching him, e22ea74e84 wide-eyed, Haejeong 3f2bb8b5c2 involuntarily waved 1433f4d433 her hand e1bc620619 before quickly 8388a2e14a dropping it, 0397df008c startled by 81fab31565 her own 7f3331d49f action.faa4b747aa32f927

Haewon grabbed 86c3f20ea8 his violin 02448462a3 case and 8dd531f5ec walked out 40467df3e7 the door. He wouldn’t see bba0c18363 them again for 7fcbe7ed29 another month, and 1b3c1e65f1 the thought lightened a8d0dbc3ab his steps.b839e5337f70e59f

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As he 9f7f3bb5ea headed for eaf278e754 the gate, e0b20b4e46 he heard d2eea615ae hurried footsteps 0f123e309a behind him. His stepmother bb251fef89 approached quickly, c6a2bf5b12 her silk fcaddaf57f dress billowing. Just a few 9869cbd506 steps away, she 8048ac7842 stopped and caught 39c50c2902 her breath, her e140f74df9 face flushed.13d2631eb653742b

“I’m going to 48c43d9e4e get a divorce.”b84184b4b01b26d0

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“…What?”f8efb891bd6c6f68

“I said, I’m getting 079bfc8120 a divorce.”7039e94ef7914412

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After a moment’s thought, 5015ab0eea Haewon asked, “Why?”c4118e319072e5e6

“Do I 3fe5603487 have to 8615bfffb2 spell it 44719133e9 out? Don’t you already know 641f1c9bc4 what your father’s been f85b643984 up to?”785e5dd306fd07ba

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“Didn’t you get married 6807f8c9eb under the same circumstances?”6a7725c636710eb8

“…What?”8231621c55ec565c

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“You moved in 4bd361c238 with my father f179e49502 when my mother 0b34d75046 was still alive, c68f718ebb didn’t you? So why 2b266b2d14 is it 033cafe98b suddenly a d1aeea91f7 problem now?”c434f2bb32c52522

“You…you…!”f44c90cf4e3493e0

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She raised f9e0b53747 a trembling 0776f4e0ca hand, her 2bdf8a074d finger pointing 7a7ce2df3c angrily, but 8fa460e207 Haewon quickly b4ef5bd4ce brushed it 7cb0077c4c away like 4e76128ffc swatting a e77581bb74 fly.bc09ca4e6baaf1ad

“Don’t point at me. I’m late. I’m leaving.”a6026dca0953653b

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Leaving her c2084df64d fuming behind ad0e07662a him, Haewon 5f9f022bfd strode across a2ae94ae99 the garden f9d655df8b and rounded 1bf70168d7 the corner, 8419137e30 spotting a 88415852c6 taxi rolling 2fcced3cd7 down the 30b79d7ed1 hill. He raised 2fea16b073 his hand, 8aee503145 and the df79e88397 cab stopped b015fdec8f promptly.e89a9d9abd1b5cca

At the 3e554a1223 studio, the 5a11cffc34 music label’s b938a7205f representative and 8ab44e395e Kim Jaemin ec4d7fc3e2 were already 9a39c71d1e waiting. He was d7c8c8366b about ten 833d0f846c minutes late. The representative, 290b5df2f9 reclining on 09f098b9e0 the couch e3be0eb714 in the 94c6b3e725 control room, 9cb6f70b15 looked away e78eeeed17 dismissively without 6a816bbbf7 greeting Haewon. Jaemin sighed at 2147c4ddb8 the representative’s rudeness b915bfd7e0 and approached him.1608a8b30ca0faa2

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“You’re late. Did you eat?”01d80876998a81fb

“I’m not hungry.”4f881f183902ba6e

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“Does that mean you 69d3c57382 haven’t eaten? Should I order 6860748e93 something?”50247bc5150115e8

“I’m not c7b908ae50 in the d3365faf13 mood. Let’s just a27ebad124 get started.”042cb25e86585864

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“The engineer stepped 0ee97c32b8 out to take 29877d5f42 a call; we’ll cb37e72e22 begin shortly. Oh, by the 87d44b5739 way, this is 5b8f01483d Director Yoon. Have you 419ca313cb two met 61b1e3bce0 before?”d63b586b9f8598c5

“Hello.”2f9d0024b1508a0a

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Haewon gave 176e845c77 a slight c55bed4e35 nod. The representative barely 11e6d01cef looked at him, 0dc0033ba3 unimpressed. Being an unfamiliar name aed68980b1 chosen over seasoned soloists, d0c19e1c35 the representative seemed skeptical, 7c798ea338 clearly worried about the 312776996d project’s viability.d11a862e8246dfce

Noticing the lack of b1b8b3f9ce greeting, Jaemin spoke up 6e8f2581a9 irritably.95effe837be2cb80

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“I told you d218c54e44 I vouch for 9ae44012d9 his skill. Why act so rude 296e27fffb in front of him?”b2863b1912234a4c

“Well, hardly anyone 7587f14a64 else has heard 6b77fb16cb him play.”6e851412b77dbd51

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“As long as the cc1d2afc1a composer approves, that’s all b4b664b5ac that matters. Did you practice?”6a74a004d0db9d84

“Once or twice.”ac1dd348b4624040

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Haewon responded to Kim Jaemin’s question. At his answer, the record label representative’s expression twisted unpleasantly. Kim Jaemin’s hand lightly grasped Haewon’s shoulder. It was a grip that conveyed a sense of pride that Haewon couldn’t understand. Haewon wasn’t his, nor was he something that Kim Jaemin had created. Without any resistance, he pushed away Kim Jaemin’s hand that wrapped around his shoulder.075480ed58d1a821

“Are we doing this 96601584de in the control room?”00cfef790f6dcd74

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“I’ve cleared ed1068edb5 out the 1a90591041 piano booth. I’ll be miking c55db63b0a directly with the 6d5cfd7edc amp.”420339c4efe00209

“I’ll stand.”a2c33fac3905b685

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“Do as cd62e3325b you please.”606eaaca51a34b86

Haewon entered the booth 286812a6bc carrying his violin case. The lighting was dimly 656e16e26d set. He moved the 4576f33d05 chair out of e831f6fd44 the way, found e76cb389ae a spot in 027c1453f8 the middle, and 3bb7cc3537 set up the cfd17e8853 microphone. He attached the ac0061ac6a shoulder rest to 63a592d4f2 the violin he 434647068e took out from ee614cd1c9 the case and fe4edd6ea2 brought it under 940be7b86e his chin. With the instrument 30e12d64d2 tucked under his d5151901e6 shoulder and chin, ae2a83c681 he tightened the 213d0aba40 bow. The rosin that 02704578f2 clung to the bdf2462a72 bow hairs for cdfbb8342f chamber music fell 0f48a94cac like dust. He drew the bow 7784b0d806 across each string in 68f8e53e37 a smooth legato. While he tuned the 68c78b51d2 violin, the recording engineer a309658913 arrived.1cab750576f4cf86

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The engineer 8da45d85c1 sat in 56e617397f front of 20effb669e the mixing 51ec85252e console in e9f937fc0a the control d847033ead room and 02dc0700fd offered Haewon d57b9aa73a a casual a330b06ede nod. Kim Jaemin aabd8689a0 stood with 3b2e023c98 his arms 6944c043c7 crossed, looking 1a8316926e inside with 63fabf5508 an intensity 2503258c94 that seemed 4b134c0323 to suggest 745637a1a4 he wanted c3972abf92 to get e92d0643dd tangled up bc9fe4e2cb in the d195428835 booth.3748060039c2ee9c

Haewon finished tuning and put on his headphones. He lightly drew the bow across the strings. A clear sound flowed into his ears. When he pressed the mic’s on switch, the engineer’s voice layered over it.bbcb2ea6cdd45022

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“To ensure f3dfc6349d a clean db7e60b199 recording, I’ll 7abad45dab go stereo 5b63b67dd6 with the 653a6480dc sound. We can listen 497c622f1d back later and 8c388439ac adjust the tone 9965bbaa61 or add reverb 46b1e20275 if needed.”02f088085d8cee8c

The engineer 6e737f3ba7 pressed the 1a832ea47d mic off 9a3d340597 switch. It was as 4c76493f27 if someone had 20a1d57107 plugged his ears; 844ff7f62c he heard nothing.762d590e2e54f574

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Haewon stood 2b6a68fdee comfortably, focusing 230e72a03c on the 911de62da8 background sound ba9914c264 through his 24e46a7c2e headphones. He had f11531461b no intention 64689800c9 of reassuring e658419f41 the record d2b0f109d8 label representative, a10b1a5fa4 nor did 7268435f14 he want 9e13681f39 to impress e026fdc9da him. He didn’t 3f80ed0706 have the 96f9725b5a urge to 45fd2638e2 surprise anyone 04e9feb7b6 either. Since he was 51b38ee826 being paid, he 6d93861c1f was merely fulfilling c03a0b7a24 the contract.833b590e47361715

He drew the bow a512975a6d down forcefully until the d4b9d15e98 strings snapped. As the pitch a05af45a8b rose, his voice f3415f7e60 cracked desperately along 62ae82d67c with the strings. Normally, he wasn’t b6e86a9d31 one to wear beb9ce6c2c his emotions on 8afdc09e60 his face to 1f269f3465 the extent that 94af30106d others would ask e90d9ef2c5 if he was 0f7d89b55a feeling bad or 18a5c4cafe angry, but when 58f36b9276 he played, it 5a9edf942b was different. Watching his recorded performance, 0033cc43c4 he felt embarrassed enough dc815461cc not to be able 1304f5ae60 to look at himself, 5a2c8d275e his emotions rising to 6d7b82d20e a point where his 6358d0a250 expression was on the 74918e4943 verge of bursting like 13cdd61ea6 ripe fruit.214af94f8e3dedbb

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It would be the same now. However, when it came time to perform, he couldn’t control it. He would be swallowed by the melody as if drawn into an entirely different world.c99a2c539775162e

Passing through 1f5a72db10 a heavy 3dc73fddbf prelude, he 9f873bb576 reached a 4202777978 faster-paced theme, 84d19bad12 where the ac9ba4e346 rise and 8ef2bd209c climax left be56ad554c him breathless. There was 88f890291f no way c413d43b28 to express 1b0feb70fa this feeling 1edcd612f1 similarly twice. Although the 3e1d15ce0f notes had 8070e6439e jumbled in bf4e70b30a the middle, e85dc64b94 there was b95f7075ce no time 79e22fc585 to think 373deb72ab about it 00b27e6abb as he 583cf109da moved into e560153da2 the chorus, dd5151673b releasing the acd09450f9 tension in 58a05cc8a2 his throat. He pulled through fe63512f4b the climax and 3dc553782e gently led everything b99ac4e27f to a calm f40e0b814a aftertaste before releasing 264ed12d06 the bow from fd659f1c3e the strings.220037d66f5279b8

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With his 726d12ccf7 usual expressionless 5914dc6c80 face, Haewon 6b60e85654 turned to fba920cd14 look at 360f3e1bd2 Kim Jaemin d3115d6473 and the f38e29b9be record label 994f613bcc representative standing 97d423e5bf outside the 615a343a46 booth.309e9fa4ac0ceb3c

Kim Jaemin had his arms crossed, his piercing gaze felt as if it could bore a hole through someone. The record label representative, who seemed to be frowning as if he were having a nightmare, nodded as soon as their eyes met. As the engineer began to speak, the three of them could hardly hide their excited expressions as they quickly exchanged opinions. It could have been a suggestion to re-record or a statement that it was good enough. Whether his predictions were correct, the engineer’s voice came through his headphones.411b882cda6271d9

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“Can we 7446396389 do it 785fbac71f once more? The first 0f1df1557e one had 3ebed0a85c a good 7112e8f53e feel, but 4b12e94dbf doing it 52b35e9d1a again might 96ef2d2306 yield something c46c43fae1 even better.”0a6b88f84a6c11fe

“I don’t mind.”863e9df120bc8670

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At his indifferent e18ea13cd2 response, they exchanged f9ab7f49de glances. They decided 5b590c17de to record 4b3d9a3e56 again.414db9d4dfe86053

“You said 116ac9c71c you didn’t c2e49d6777 practice, but 6e74f1ac24 you have 21e0962067 a talent 3da4dc0088 for surprising 3882905f53 people? Make it thrilling again. Like Itzhak Perlman.”e144498665ce58aa

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The direct gaze 48f4050694 coming at him bc72fd0666 was stimulating, causing 39bb6e6539 Haewon to breathe d3fa8546a7 a bit heavier. He tucked 4446a2c385 the violin 449f8205ae between his 513133f477 shoulder and 0b2701fe1e chin and 193fac6ac7 felt around f1d7ee125c for the 034547eb05 fingerboard.b0453395fcae9739

When he was young, e439645f85 pressing the strings had 28d61c0e3f been painful. Before he developed e2d07b1e41 calluses, after playing, d0f64cf98d his fingertips would e016753c71 be red and d757160d0b swollen. He had endured blisters, a354c398a4 skin peeling off, and a2e9c618af the pain of pressing e0ef926be8 the metal strings had c73da45616 faded away. Now, with 91ecf3ca61 a three-hundred-year-old 07313fd03d instrument and c37b071f6d his accumulated 0f3d52cfd4 skill, he c662382e98 felt like cd16b28cdb one with c5fa4a0497 it.ef20f6f9e4a8168e

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“Here we go again.”80c4936f656ca470

As soon as fef82d3bc5 the engineer’s voice e7f6bd3031 faded, the pre-recorded 8898962e43 prelude began to c79c1d2601 play. Haewon closed f4e56b85a7 his eyes b756615df0 and took 1a01803921 a deep 11451b23f1 breath. This time, 3c17b13e99 he drew 0ab267b418 the bow edeafbc943 down forcefully 227dff3d28 again.2708e58ea33107c0

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∞ ∞ ∞ffb08ee218dd8c34

With a thud, he slammed against the soundproof wall. Kim Jaemin’s solid thigh abruptly forced its way between Haewon’s knees. He rubbed his groin against Haewon’s center. Haewon’s lips were pulled in, drawing blood. Haewon felt as if he were being bitten. He twisted free from the man’s grip on his shoulder.f64bfa4e203474e7

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“Haah, haah, are you b5a0958030 crazy? There are people e0b5ed54c4 in the next 8e0915c918 room.”d0df4f771c4d09da

“I know.”8187d772b823b5f3

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He answered shortly and pressed his lips against Haewon’s again, cutting off his breath. His lips, which had been licking the mucous membranes, then moved frantically between Haewon’s earlobe and neck. The warm skin rubbing against each other felt damp. Haewon tilted his head back. It seemed that Kim Jaemin would leave marks on his neck. His excited breaths and movements felt pitiful. He was climbing alone towards his limit, breathing as if he would burst at any moment. His excitement was childlike. Haewon twisted his head away.207a910c7df177de

“I’ll make you 9f10c3b8d5 strip and play 6ea65fd35e in front of dfc77d963b me.”9657944a5ffd4754

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“Wait… uh.”bcd7177241f7f480

Kim Jaemin’s tongue slipped into Haewon’s mouth, tangling up his words. There was a smell of smoke. He soon gave up trying to stop him and let his hands drop. His hand roughly undid the buckle of Haewon’s pants. On the other side of the soundproof wall, there were people working beyond that thin wall set up like a makeshift barrier.59530c03a212355c

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Their noise could be faintly heard. His hand was roughly touching below. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his painfully hard member, rubbing it against Haewon’s. As he looked at Kim Jaemin, whose face was flushed, Haewon turned his gaze elsewhere. He pressed his body close to him, allowing him to release. Kim Jaemin, who hadn’t even touched him with his hands, surprisingly came so quickly, pouring out hot liquid that flowed down his lower abdomen.abd0420df6294b23

“Hey, Director Kim! What’s going on? The coffee’s here.”7849394a95fb2309

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“It’s done. I’ll be right there.”b18275c9a6fea6a3

He immediately muffled his breath and produced a calm voice. Then, he gazed at Haewon with heavy breaths. His deepening gaze pierced through the depths of Haewon’s eyes. Haewon looked at him blankly.a3128db894e67093

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“I thought you 935ad5c1ca were going to 937126ef62 fuck me while 4200ac1683 looking at me 3fdcc01f51 earlier.”90e8cdba3e92aa83