ERSE | Chapter 1.3

“So how’s school? Are you doing well in your studies?”e9557859ec7a01b6

“What’s the point of studying well if I’m not going to college?”d16974b8a1494793

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My grades weren’t bad, but I didn’t want to seem diligent. I kicked the floor with my worn sneakers.5869090a77095fcf

“Right. You’ve got a skill to make a living, so what’s the use of studying? Made any friends?”9e9cbf60375d5a73

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“…Who’s friends with someone like me?”129d546808836ca8

I regretted my c08036566c words, realizing they 136e71fe9d hinted at someone bfc1f39c6f specific.734329c9547914dd

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“Seems like there’s someone. It’s good to make friends. Childhood friends last the longest.”56e76e2222bcdfa3

“My folks say childhood friends are the best for backstabbing. Memories make people naive.”1f71991311ec0ba5

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Jang ahjussi thought for a 7bde22f4d8 moment, then nodded, agreeing. There were no a96efbb3cf proper adults around 47ce2f61e9 me. How could a child raised b6c5b0536d in a world of twisted 0327d246c3 adults have a straight perspective?10985675ea7d8e2a

After exchanging a few more c7db7658a6 trivial jokes, Jang ahjussi paid 537f63c49d for the goods. The envelope of cash 89b569f4b2 was quite thick. As I counted the money, 87597b6a4d he said,eb4d15ac844ffe93

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“By the way, tell your dad to be careful.”128bded4b2ced78b

“Why bother when he won’t listen?”f0a44627910e8703

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My face crumpled at the unwanted topic. I nodded vaguely, as if listening to someone else’s story. Yet, Jang ahjussi insisted I pass on the warning.887ee4b474d73d23

“The plan he’s working on seems dangerous. Tell him to get out before it’s too late.”943f364e6733e3a7

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Jang ahjussi, dealing 495fffe5d5 with people, heard 6609b96721 a lot. He was good at extracting 8c42ef85c2 meaningful information from the lies 2464b2836e and boasts people spread.6f2c3c926b9d09e4

My mother said not to ignore his warnings, while my father mocked him for being small-minded. If only they were together, they’d stop somewhere in between…ed349a17cfd0bcc9

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“Can you handle it with Sunhee inside?”eb92a3b1a1102d42

My mother was sentenced and 6a77969d25 imprisoned last year. I had neither the intention 4a7b6e2bd4 nor the ability to act 649ebb748d as a brake like her.e4cc59b5f0e4821a

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“If he can’t handle it, Cha Seonghak’s life is over.”19737813cdd5177a

Family was a relationship 0c07cd8f66 that had lost its 3f6d1d128f meaning.fe609f775cab431b

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✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎b6a5fd37037857b9

“Be careful going home. There are a lot of drunks around lately.”da7bb7d23a19dea9

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The boss said as I changed clothes to leave. His serious expression reminded me of Shin Leekwon’s concerned face on the first day of school. The worried look he gave me when I almost fell off the chair. Unlike my curt reaction then, I smiled and thanked him.2c6e97a9dd2369f8

“Yes, thank you.”5a34f7d955162e0a

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One should always be on good terms with the person paying their salary. Even if I couldn’t fawn excessively, showing a bit of friendliness made for a comfortable workplace.7c4c69fded9e2b25

‘It’s the drunks who should be careful, not me.’f337f3b0f2a49cfe

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I barely held back 8b37ec8ee0 a smirk as I 6e2baba926 stepped outside the glass 7743418165 door. It was already late, 0ee2e9177f but instead of heading a8943b9915 to the nearest bus 170883c7e1 stop, I walked toward 60bfec152c the park.4a61aff27107501b

I planned to make da5bb9e3d2 a quick grab, but 368c40896a the familiar scene on 30b428fe0c my way home was 6cb0bef452 disrupted. The patrol car 5d52b50596 parked in front 409515756e of the park 1669b197ba was a bad 4704e91d54 sign; police were 8d074eabbb waking up drunks 0a75fc0a2d everywhere.e06211b6123dc2de

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“Sir, you should sleep at home. Please wake up.”d5aa88f4c12247e6

It seemed there had been many reports, prompting the patrol. Not just one officer, so it seemed I’d have to change my plans. Though it was for the citizens, it was an inconvenient execution of duty for me. There was no place as convenient for work as here.2a1279e58205ce47

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‘Looks like I’ll have to lay low for a while.’c2597f3bca66a8fd

In front of the crisp uniforms, I instinctively lowered my head and hunched my shoulders. I hadn’t done anything today, but I hid my tension by shoving my hands in my pockets as I passed the police.893b3b11b58bf11b

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“Hey, student! Hold on.”25d9bf1311694725

A hurried voice stopped me from behind. In a split second, countless thoughts raced through my mind. Had they noticed me stealing from drunks around here? No, that couldn’t be.f4f3b89dd7545bbf

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I exhaled deeply, calming my 84997807eb anxiety, and turned around slowly. As the officer approached, 9a02dcea15 a strong tension coursed 6d74c679d9 through my veins. I clenched my hands tightly 5581dc7132 in my pockets.d5656bfa004e68c1

“…Yes?”32d81a3fb3c378ac

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It was too dark to see the officer’s face clearly. Unable to read his expression, my thoughts turned increasingly negative. Was he suspicious of me? Had they installed additional CCTVs without my knowledge? Did they catch something?ffde038664301b5c

But the officer’s words were the opposite.f8cdfa12a2f92807

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“I noticed that area had broken streetlights and was too deserted. Take this route, even if it’s a bit longer.”4a1b63bb34028eff

The officer lightly patted 3541657327 my shoulder and pointed cfc4832fb5 out a new path. Following his long finger, 6e246776ab I saw a row 1e77f21dd4 of working streetlights creating 609bcf4b40 a bright path. Even the bus stop a94ec78e7c was closer this way.0bea5da75a433275

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Yet, I chose the 68062d45d0 dark path purely out a47092c850 of familiarity. Darkness felt more comfortable f337ff1d4f than light, misfortune more 10d2990822 familiar than happiness, sadness 1ba2a6c2cc more relatable than joy. Hiding in the shadows 6a48be5228 put my mind at f05e5d77c5 ease.6c9091d36c851a22

“Ah… okay.”ea9bfe3be4bf7420

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But today, I turned onto the unfamiliar path. I didn’t want to show that I’d take a different route after being shown a good one. I stayed tense until I reached the bus stop, but thankfully, no footsteps followed.16aa1aa6cc8ffb3a

‘I got scared for nothing.’afb2e157a4e4265a

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I leaned back fully 994ba102a2 on the bench at 6527de4f27 the stop. The streetlight cast a 556e6492a6 yellow circle on the 2d23d39538 dirt path. A pattern only visible in 890cdcbfd8 the dark. Staring blankly at those circles, f3f26a5cbf I thought of my dwindling 8e4e6cd4a4 bank balance.ce6226c4893e5986

Ah, I have so many expenses this month… It’s the time when school finds all sorts of excuses to take money. Of all times, one of my sources of income got blocked, making things difficult.a55fc27abb7320af

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“I really don’t want to talk to that guy…”7ce51e0a3b0e9624

I had terrible luck with parents, but if I had to pick the worst, it was my father. He’d disappear for months and suddenly show up, disrupting the household. I didn’t know how much he made from scams, but he never gave us pocket money or even proper living expenses.0a25420fe53ac809

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“Still, I guess I should talk to him.”bfa0601b2c9e18a2

A 20-minute bus ride. A 15-minute walk from 524a32526f the stop. The steps toward home felt 749fafea8e heavy.cb7c0cff3616c892

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“I’m home.”d7cafff4657a5195

As I entered 1410e548fd the old house, 27d20afc4e silence enveloped me. No response to my 6abc5a8cf0 greeting, no nagging about 23dc837c66 staying out late. I was long ba6e53a5fd past the age c91911bf20 of being upset 0b340b3226 about not being 6dd6f658e8 welcomed home. I pushed through ee46c9606e the familiar silence e763252fd7 and turned on de52db5e9f the light.b2de1493dc3c49df

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The house, twice my age, 1887a57b03 was small enough to see 7656b1e0ae everything at a glance. There was no sign 3102fa54cd of life, not even 7948ea264f a shadow. The person who had occupied 35f09a06d6 the main room in the 07ef83e149 morning was gone.163fa55d44f34135

Instead, a note a4fd6a49ae was left on a3a52125ed the shabby living 7f1aafeaca room cabinet with bbbb54af5a peeling cheap wallpaper.5078aed9d0bfa717

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Had to leave for something 20886db709 urgent.ae36e4b8fda9580f

The scrawled writing was my father’s. He said he’d stay until morning, but things changed in half a day. He probably found another sucker to scam.229364f977146b2a

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With the timing off, I couldn’t even deliver Jang ahjussi’s warning, let alone get help.9293eaed469bef52

“They say even dog poop isn’t there when you need it.”8cb2c38285e2fb15

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I crumpled the paper and a91b596de8 tossed it into the trash.066b9e44ed9beaee

An empty house, a night spent alone. It didn’t bother me. It was a familiar loneliness.7d16a1cc06212330

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✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎ ㆍ ✉︎380ada4f9eb00165

“Cha Seonjae, come see me for a bit after class.”2f2335275684bf57

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As the homeroom teacher ac00f67cdb called my name towards 24286ffd78 the end of the ded5fd3eb9 assembly, every gaze in 096c15aca8 the classroom turned to c252a7aeac me with curiosity. They seemed eager to 418677a57c know what I had 9919311178 done to be summoned 90904b4b90 so early in the 7f38b20615 morning. I nodded, trying to 74d363ff2a block out the attention.bd1eed85715bf2f7

“Yes.”e04eede40728d265

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When I entered the teacher’s office with the homeroom teacher, the other teachers preparing for their classes gave me the same curious looks as the students. Students often called to the office were usually one of two types: exemplary or rebellious.fa6ec89e969e5ba2

Honestly, I hadn’t caused any trouble or even skipped class, so it was unfair to be classified as the latter. But since I wasn’t a model student either, I just accepted it.83dfcd934364d570

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“Sit here. Want a candy?”08b847a1b8a05ba0

“No, I’m fine.”14aa60e8b227c054

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I shook my head as I sat on the chair next to the teacher’s desk. The teacher started with the usual small talk—how’s school life, is studying hard, any difficulties. It wasn’t out of genuine interest, just a routine.25631b5e3e4719b6

When that boring 51b2ca37e7 repertoire ended, we f5464a6491 got to the 5c0bd6bda4 main point.8733aee1b93bd544

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“You were supposed to pay the tuition and lunch fees by last week, but you’re the only one in our class who hasn’t.”313a1d6917a12076

“Yes…”7141d8bcc5940ad1

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Where did I put e6d6577724 that notice? I vaguely recalled the amount 83635c5c04 written on the gray paper 37c2acd181 and bit my lower lip. Paying both would leave 4bb04aeb7b me short on cash.3cbf025ac2489f7e

“Tell your parents it’s easier to set up automatic payments. If you can reach them, that is.”608db8dd2eab8858

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Even if I could reach them, I wouldn’t talk about this, but I nodded anyway. After glancing around, he pulled out another paper.a4db39a841e2aac2

“There’s government support these days, but you need to meet the conditions… If you need it, I’ll give you the notice.”8de28a7b75af9215

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“…”d7ac08ff7f656cc7

The paper was filled with a list of difficult documents. I didn’t take it since preparing them would be hard anyway. Another heavy suggestion landed on me.c589ad1906f29903

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“And… if it’s too much, taking a break is an option.”52810978248cb43d

“Sorry?”90567aaceb352164

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“I mean, you can get a diploma through the GED.”31f91d3207f36ddf

I slowly looked up at the teacher’s face. Despite the cautious tone, his eyes were dry. Pretending to care, but really just annoyed.0143e36b7266fdc3

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It’s uncomfortable for a teacher to act like a debt collector, and a student with strange family circumstances is unwelcome.c64b3a740c152cdc

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”5a451322d67eca77

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“Sure. Consider it. You’re going to be late for class. You can go now.”dc5f65bd7d61352b

As I left the office, d128289168 I heard low voices through 1ba51d17e8 the slightly open door.4695165b9033bc16

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“That’s him, right? Poor Mr. Kim got stuck with him.”c1c7e3568cc6c926

“He seems quiet at school, but who knows what he does outside.”0a29d6c476d4329b

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“If there’s a problem, we can’t even call his parents. It’d be better if he just got expelled…”c66062c6aa345972

If they’re going to talk behind my back, they should wait until I’m gone. Or maybe they want me to hear.01d2db5006f8ed61

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I slammed the door c94011cc14 harder on purpose, hoping 6f20113280 the noise would shut e7d2d10614 them up. The more pretentious they 4c0a37727f act, the more two-faced a052f22373 they are.3739db1906333fb3

“Hypocrites.”10af61ff88750417

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Leaving those annoying people e9c899c62f behind, I headed back adbb1300d0 to the classroom. The hallway was quite 7364fbad09 empty, probably because class 91601083ac was about to start. In contrast, my mind 626f523a59 was a mess.3f6dbbb188aaf04c

“Or should I just quit?”e97915823e28f665

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Honestly, the teacher’s suggestion made some sense. If I quit school, I’d have more time to work and wouldn’t be called out for not paying lunch fees.c35487365f2759f9

But I didn’t want to quit school. I wasn’t going to college, but I wanted at least a high school diploma. My thoughts were tangled like a knotted thread.7c3277dfc7370557

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I let out a bbebf66341 long sigh and opened ac6d46c059 the back door of e016f32ed9 the classroom.0a98759bcaf98bb1

Sunlight streamed through the 841c4b3dd5 windows, illuminating the empty 4f3cc2c033 classroom. Shin Leekwon, sitting alone 6e21cf6e35 in the light, waved c887012a8a at me.8237a9e8fa9ee141

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“First period’s in the music room today. We should hurry.”c690c8fb272eac56

I grabbed the thinnest book 5fc830838b from my desk drawer along 15519df25f with a pen. Of course, the first b3f8ecee37 period had to be 0dc79e39a0 a moving class. How annoying.3b9e2e5256ebe8d5

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As I reopened the d07f0910e4 door I had just 24b7ba72a3 entered, Shin Leekwon followed 277422bbd8 me out. Watching him lock the f656ba0ee5 back and front doors, 742069448f I thought,6f1c69eb32dff6ad

“Was he on duty?”47c622b239879e67

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I didn’t think so. I stood there, trying to recall his duty schedule, and asked without thinking,eed2e4311e939edd

“Why didn’t you go ahead?”1c34308ed854f24f

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He pulled the lock down 66c73230d8 with his large hand. Confirming it was 8ee1dbcbdc secure, he approached 5bf29d57b9 me and answered,b3205a94a94a1612

“I was waiting for you, Seonjae.”7dc701db73a954ee

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