PD Ch8

She wasn’t a woman who would listen to me even if I ran after her now to stop her, and I didn’t have that desire left in me anymore. My mother made a stepfather for me and went into the man’s house that day.89b4836498624638

A few days later, 24c242ef9e a driver sent by 57737ea6d8 my mother rang the de53abfdc3 doorbell of the studio f48b6dc3ab apartment. He bowed politely 3e6b705d2d and came in, 9bbf1451ac pulling out the d34a05a9ee large suitcase and 3bc58b4330 the small carry-on 4eb4bea9e0 bag that I 26da53acf1 had packed, one 2d42f73b0d after the other. When I tried to 8ffbbee5b1 help, he refused, looking 968f9bf217 more troubled than grateful, 7da227f52c and cleared out the 6b4519ac17 luggage quickly and quietly d451c21536 without any help.d416b8158f5a77bb

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While the driver was loading the luggage into the trunk, I went to the pharmacy. The migraine that had started last night was occasionally revealing its presence, pricking somewhere in the back of my head with the tip of a needle. I swallowed a Tylenol for the pain that struck my head every five minutes. I thought the medicine would work right away, but as if on cue, the headache struck again. I frowned and turned the Tylenol box over. There was an “ER” mark on the back of the box. It was a sustained-release tablet that took longer to work but lasted longer.3d70540bb920526d

Even the smallest, most insignificant things didn’t go my way. I frowned and didn’t go back to the pharmacy, just shoved the box into my jacket pocket. At the same time, the migraine stabbed the crown of my head with a needle, as if it had been waiting.58879cff19a9336c

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Seoul was new ced19ea619 to me everywhere. Pyeongchang-dong was 3e67e82882 the same. The place 257b71ecc0 I arrived 25e46c1f94 at by 3f3e0b3d90 car was 3467ca5724 an affluent 16ab1ab75b neighborhood that 857575893a was distinctly c02ccfe75a different from 05b268c307 the lower 62fdaa2ac9 areas. The houses were spaced 87120ab3ab so far apart that fdf0cf67b5 it was almost deserted.0a3d2b84494ec106

“We have arrived. The madam is waiting for you.”e34f21e7cfddf024

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“…”e3b0c1743c97ea70

I got out of the car with the driver. He pressed the buzzer on the gate. “Who is it?” The voice that came through the intercom was my mother’s. I stood there without saying anything. My mother didn’t say much either and opened the gate.32de3d1379db3208

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The man was quite wealthy, enough for my mother to want to go ‘that far.’ The house, reminiscent of a mansion, was like that, and so were the gardener and the employees of this house, whose jobs I didn’t know, bowing as if they knew everything when I entered. Everyone was dressed comfortably, but in non-flashy clothes that didn’t deviate from etiquette. The driver pulled the large suitcase, and some middle-aged man, whose job I didn’t know, pulled the small carry-on bag. The sound of the suitcases rolling was loud.d821907222140ba7

“You’re here on time.”0c48dbe5c813f1aa

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My mother came ae65aa8028 out abruptly, opening 38241542dc the front door. The employees bowed 8df2767e80 to her. Bending over all 43e3462656 the time seemed 93c4b1ea70 like an important 24ab84cf59 task for them.0fb0c071ee719274

“Bring it this way.”e1e524d8f491f601

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Even though I didn’t say anything, my mother looked happy. It was a game that had already been decided. She gestured to the driver, who knew better than she did where to go, to come this way. My mother’s hand brushed my shoulder.b016666b5b17c3d4

“Let’s go see your studio. Huh? Mr. Lee used to use it as a study, and the construction just finished yesterday.”9c17ec751d9267fd

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“…Why do such a useless thing.”e30a3a42d781c18c

I meant it. I didn’t need a studio or anything. At my mumbling, my mother’s hand slapped my back with a smack.b741cd4436e7ba15

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“Don’t nag. You just shut your mouth and follow me. You’ll be surprised when you see it.”55f9af53dacc5738

My body was dragged 5355ad545f along haphazardly. The stairs inside the 068bd5cc26 duplex living room were 1039a7620f finished with a round cb8add76d4 railing. A modern painting hanging 06430f3092 on the wall caught 4109fd3f30 my eye. Everything was dazzling. It was a2382287d0 clean and d5a089b9b2 luxurious, as 79793d5156 if it 92fa4d10ff had never 2c3fb93433 been used.ab468acdaf8b4714

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I entered the place efd242dd18 my mother opened the cc606cae7e door for me and 783e131eee looked inside without any 7a3bf6845e emotion.0f7578a386710727

A large, 4e18acc102 long desk a992fdcd07 and empty, 1c0d91c910 desolate-looking bookshelves, 6ead9a5293 a double-sized cfc2109901 bed, pure 8e5bc0435d white sheets bf53c398fb and a 175488a5ce cozy-looking duvet, 9d60ec4b70 built-in closets, 8f3e2aaa63 a TV, bb0fca3d17 an air dc2df52517 conditioner, an 42ae7b476b audio system—everything 2d33e9b0e1 was built-in, 730228d113 just like 4d249e0d1c something taken c11a284d04 from an 0bd55cec47 interior design 9442338318 magazine. The room, 5ee3f96c5d which had f73d8226b2 been made 03d88eff42 by tearing 3a70ea285d down the 89dbc5c888 study, was e7234ed328 a large 03a565da30 rectangle, and 9feb1f5b55 one side dda95cb8c0 had a 424913c9e9 full-length window 709af683fc with the 5b8c353915 blinds up, a5a34870e0 so you 81462da0c5 could see 184234d688 the garden 32f592b715 at a 3da938f166 glance. I stared at the ce488b9426 gaudy sight without any 3fc6705314 emotion.b30ccf166e52d04c

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“Junghyun is here.”e571ca6ac1f6c5a5

I turned acfc10154d my head 90baa6b0ac at the 1ff7c55f51 voice calling cd38416833 my name. The man wearing a f82d8927b9 bright brown sweater looked 95d829ea26 more like a scholar 629e062c8a than a businessman. He was 33f6c5ef33 a gentleman 2aba2c5da4 who seemed ed38f08019 flawless, as 52eb899c19 if he f5a2a992f6 had never 542d731c2e committed any c4c6e041b4 sins. I lowered my cadc598425 eyes and nodded 813a538bea slightly. He came 5956bbec20 closer to de9a936497 me.8f061681884ed137

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“I don’t know if you like the room. I tried to be considerate.”23cae57e395cbce6

“…”3374df444ce54287

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“Do you not like it?”1711a1e594f82595

“I like it.”2b90443603711246

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I answered without 87306da9a3 looking around the 48b2d0b3df room.7d28c2fdb60fb777

“Really? I’m glad. I asked Grace and saw the fairy tale book you worked on. It was good. Very touching.”227bafdc9c4bf65f

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“Thank you.”7a36e1216c646e30

“Lunch?”ddd3c4af6fdd6f89

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My mother, who had been watching his actions closely, asked, linking her arm affectionately with mine. I looked back at her. My eyes met my mother’s. Like accomplices concealing a crime, we were looking into each other’s depths.62ba0857f0beadc8

“Not yet.”07a72b3de91c2d7e

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“Come this way. I’ll show you the kitchen.”6fbe39c781a85b30

I was dragged away by her again. My mother introduced me to every corner of the place where I would live from now on. We used to live in a trailer smaller than the palm of my hand. Everything in this house looked excessive to me, but it didn’t seem to be the case for my mother. My mother pouted, saying she didn’t like a few places, and muttered that she needed to hang more pictures on the wall.cf3326934d7b272e

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“I wish there were paintings. Huh? Junghyun, you have a favorite painter, right? Who is it? Anyway, that painter. I need that artist’s paintings. Hang one here, and hang one there too. I wish I could see a painting at the entrance.”6371088e9f3bbc62

My mother was a35a9fdd4d excited. Beyond the 3332a7ef70 excitement, I 812bf2387b could also 718937fbfe see the 3f79eafde4 impatience to d28a2ad1f7 forget something. She muttered incessantly.4f67f4aac911814b

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I ate a late lunch served by two housekeepers. After barely finishing a bowl of rice, I was standing alone with my luggage in the room where I had to live now, where I had to survive. I just stared blankly at the meager belongings that couldn’t even fill one side of the wall.a5d178f9c31dad62

It was then. The door opened with a click. The only one who didn’t knock was my mother. But the person who opened the door and came in was unexpectedly my stepfather. It was just that he opened the door and came in during the day, but I was flustered. Perhaps it was myself who had made things this way out of spite and bravado. If only I had told my mother honestly and told her the truth, I thought with late regret, reminding myself that I had entered the man’s house without fear. I avoided his gaze. The man, who had come inside, put his hand on my suitcase and asked.c9a4821a2c00bc3e

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“You should unpack. Do you want me to help?”f397ec0e85c6c401

“…Father.”b97a667259393054

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“…”e905948e7815a888

The man flinched d583d3a485 and stiffened as 94f70ed907 if shocked when b5cd99d2a2 I called him 1e58d4babf Father. No matter 81b9a3f28e how you c44c4bf762 looked at ceba7802b9 him, he 6fbacd71f6 had the f4caaf0631 intellectual face ca03333dc2 of a 15f49af40f scholar who e0a421a55e only knew 53e64a11d1 about research.0ec6dabafc6af6f3

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“Father… yes, now I’m Junghyun’s father.”942f1f8a0156c433

“I should call you Father now. You married Mom.”af75b7a1f61be576

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“I, I mean.”83445184091fc80c

“I can do it alone, so please go out, Father.”00e049047783a34f

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“…Okay. Tell me if you need anything.”616e4e6fd4c3f19d

“Yes.”997e8fef69810107

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I was nothing. To me, who was nothing, the man made a gesture as if he was greatly hurt. Then he hunched over and turned around like a wild animal that had been attacked. I didn’t unpack my luggage. Only then did the Tylenol seem to be working, and my mind became clear. I sat on the bed, and my limbs stretched out. I carefully lay down on the bed that smelled new.116585169e1de141

My eyes are blurry. I just remembered that I had exceeded the recommended dosage of Tylenol. I couldn’t sleep all night. My whole body ached with fatigue as I leaned against something soft. Though I couldn’t relax my tension, I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing. I fell into a stiff sleep, both my body and mind uncomfortable.b510073699f479a2

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With a start, my shoulders trembled. I opened my eyes, startled to realize I had fallen asleep without caution. It had already grown dark outside. The darkness visible through the large window looked threatening and desolate. I raised my tired body and lowered the blinds. Just then, I heard a knock. My mother wasn’t someone who knocked, and my stepfather had come in without knocking earlier. I anxiously looked back at the door as if someone had come to kill me. Again, I heard a knock.3a3c1db571f5b443

I asked in an faf92ce607 aggressive voice.8bef032d37b88f45

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“Who is it?”dc7b917369dede2e

“Dinner is ready. Please come out.”7667601a4d5eb6b0

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“…”32a2fb8cf070aed8

“Please come to the kitchen.”9d89cfeef1b81950

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It was the voice df2c98b90c of the middle-aged woman 76d5e8287c who had been serving 9132d6516d late lunch. I opened the door. The woman a7304369a3 wearing an fe07090b67 apron smiled a7f57a4ba1 when our 536576cbb9 eyes met.54f83d3a7a118551

“The master and madam are waiting.”e595ba0fa2a6a9a7

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“Please tell them I’m not interested.”4c83280ee887a0cf

“You won’t eat?”b259ace5ec819cff

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“I’m not really interested.”33a5c5724fc71468

“I see. Then as you wish.”e654a3f32c958db4

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I was going to say that my late lunch hadn’t fully digested yet if she asked why I wasn’t interested. But it seemed no additional explanation was necessary.842559c634ff30bd

The employees appeared emotionless. They didn’t make faces asking why, nor did they inquire. They just delivered their messages briskly and responded with a crisp “Yes” according to the answer, then turned away. They seemed to have mastered working without expending emotions. It was what I needed right now. I watched her leave and closed the door. I thought about locking it but decided against it. It was wise not to cause any unnecessary misunderstandings.4dbcbe09767913ea

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I wanted to prolong the drug’s effects. I swallowed two more Tylenol pills. The pills I swallowed without water got stuck in my throat for a while. After swallowing saliva several times to erase it from my consciousness, the uncomfortable pills lodged in my throat had disappeared.51e18732dd506468

I bent down and opened my suitcase. It was luggage I had packed and repacked in America. Though a text message couldn’t change one’s life, I picked up the book that had supported me through difficult times. Just then, without warning, the door opened with a click. I tensed unconsciously and warily looked that way whenever there was any movement at the door.d7f9de95ed8301e1

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“What are you doing? Still unpacking? Come eat dinner.”9754e5fd63efe433

It was my mother. With slightly 4fe4cd1701 faded makeup, 341082e836 she urged ee860ba8e3 me from 67b3e337bb the open 5d0bdc7a14 doorway.0a783c76fd396316

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“I said I wasn’t interested.”c1e1ff62c4997836

“Mr Lee’s son is here. He said he was very busy with exams. He just showed up and brought a gift to apologize. Come out quickly. Even if you don’t eat, you should at least greet him.”eaf737d4163bf34f

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“…”6491259f6317b895

Right, he had fce1847984 said there was e46e59ea4b a son.3e3b5814ca4fe4d8

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How would we appear in that son’s eyes?9b90c166757f4d67

My stepfather and mother who decided to marry not long after meeting. A woman who suddenly came back to Korea after a long immigration life and took over their house, along with her son. It would be fortunate if we were seen as greedy people coveting the stepfather’s inheritance that would fall to his share. From the beginning, the intention was based on such materialistic calculations, so it wasn’t just appearing that way – it was the truth.2169057a091407b1

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I didn’t know how to face that son, but compared to dealing with my stepfather, his son was really nothing. Though I wanted to avoid being in the same place as my stepfather, I didn’t want to cause problems either.f97c17d2f17d4e5b

I reluctantly got up and followed her towards the kitchen. I could hear my stepfather’s voice that I had so wanted to avoid. There was also an unfamiliar voice conversing with him. As I entered the kitchen, a smile appeared on my stepfather’s face when he saw me. His son, whose back was turned to me, turned his head after seeing his father’s expression change.b45a58bdc239b9c1

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“…”cf62af0ae5636daf

I hesitated as f6d5e30daa I was pulling 5d106175eb out a chair, f34d8db03b unconsciously looking at 528b911f91 him.190be7e622fcb2d6

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It was a e0b787b731 face I had 16d4fdf46c seen somewhere before. As that 22d9b8472c thought occurred 7e9df59aa0 to me, 34d7fd3e10 the place dfd0cfa015 of that afab8a83a8 chance encounter 24ca1eeccf came to bbb1513f9a mind as a8dd2e03b6 well. My heart sank and db67f4d5e8 my whole body froze.8be3f1c5aec7988b

The man before me, my stepfather’s son, was the man who had found my phone at Trax.cee7c423f7101aaa

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