WBWB | Chapter 52

‘Let’s see how far she goes.’

However, the reason Baldr tolerated the Princess’s antics was because she was, after all, a temporary guest. She was royalty, an envoy sent by the King. The King was nominally his liege lord, so it wouldn’t be wise to antagonize him.

Baldr endured, indulging the Princess’s every whim, pushing his patience to its limits. He accompanied her on walks, hunts, and tea parties. None of it brought him any pleasure, only a growing sense of irritation, because everything the Princess did, he compared to her.

‘I wish it were her here, not this woman.’

This feeling reached its peak during the ball.

The Princess arrived late, making everyone wait. Although the delay heightened the dramatic effect of her entrance, it only annoyed Baldr.

‘She’s putting on quite a show.’

Her cascading hair, the star-shaped jewels adorning it, her sheer dress that revealed her skin under the bright lights – none of it captivated him.

Baldr, following etiquette, asked the Princess, the highest-ranking woman present, for the first dance. Afterward, he danced with Ana.

Ana, chaperoned by an elderly Countess, was delighted, her eyes sparkling with joy. Seeing her happiness, Baldr felt for the first time, a fleeting sense of satisfaction for having played along with the Princess.

He danced with Ana to the music. Thanks to the lessons, she moved gracefully and smoothly.

“Your Grace,” 

Ana whispered as they danced.

“I wish Teacher were here.”

Her voice was filled with genuine longing.

‘Indeed,’ 

Baldr shared her sentiment.

‘I also wish she were here.’

After dancing with Ana, he danced with a few other noblewomen out of courtesy, and as soon as his duty was fulfilled, he retreated to a secluded corner, repeatedly ignoring the Princess’s glances. After all, the right to request a dance belonged to him.

To avoid her gaze, he turned his gaze out the window. And he saw it. A small, flickering light on the hill in the courtyard, like a fallen star.

The servants were busy with the ball, and all the guests were inside the ballroom. Then who was out there…?

The moment he realized whose lamp it was, he abruptly stood up and strode out of the ballroom without a word, ignoring everyone’s gaze.

‘Blood is thicker than water.’

As he descended the stairs of the mansion, the thought struck him again.

‘Is falling for a woman I shouldn’t love a family trait?’

As he climbed the hill, he saw Jeanne huddled under the tree, her arms wrapped around her knees. She screamed at the sight of him, her expression as if she had seen a ghost. At that moment, he wanted to cry. He desperately wanted to turn back time, but the impossibility of it filled him with despair.

‘What do I want? And what… what should I do?’

A few days later, he heard from a servant that Jeanne had been summoned to the Princess’s room.

‘Is she meddling with Jeanne now, too?’

The news finally spurred Baldr to action. He decided to get rid of the unwelcome guest. But first, he wanted to know what the Princess had said to Jeanne.

In fact, he could guess.

‘She must have asked Jeanne to act as an intermediary between us.’

Baldr was curious whether Jeanne would side with the Princess or with him. He wanted to use the Princess to gauge Jeanne’s feelings, to see if she harbored any affection for him at all. But afterward, Jeanne showed no reaction, remaining confined to her room. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, Baldr knocked on her door late one night.

‘I don’t want you to marry her. If you must marry, please choose someone else.’

And he learned Jeanne’s true feelings, just as he had hoped.

‘Why?’

‘Because I love you.’

It was a shocking truth. Should he thank the Princess for inadvertently revealing Jeanne’s love for him?

The day he received her confession, Baldr returned to the mansion and, as if in a trance, went to the guest room where the Princess was staying. He knocked, and after a long wait, the Princess opened the door, her hair damp, wearing a sheer, revealing nightgown. When she invited him in, Baldr shook his head and told her firmly,

“I expect you to pack your belongings and leave tomorrow.”

The startled Princess burst into tears and clung to him, but Baldr felt nothing. Two days later, as the carriage carrying the sobbing Princess departed, he felt a sense of relief, as if a painful tooth had finally been extracted.

But the relief was short-lived. With the Princess gone, sleepless nights filled with anguish thoughts returned.

‘She says she loves me. That she loves me, but can’t be my mistress.’

Jeanne de Toulouse had chosen her family’s honor and her own self-respect.

He replayed her words over and over in his mind, both during the day and at night, whether going about his duties or lying in bed, trying to sleep.

‘While tutoring Young Master Mael, Duchess Ventadour’s son, I saw how they, mother and son, were treated. They were objects of ridicule and scorn, targets of resentment. I love you, but that’s not a reason for me to become a mistress. But even so, I’m speaking out of turn because… I want you to have a loving family and be happy, even if it’s not with me. I grew up in such a family, and the memories of being loved have sustained me through every hardship. I wish you and Lady Ana the same happiness.’

He didn’t know how she had been treated in Franc. But here, no one would dare ridicule or mistreat her. He wouldn’t allow it. Baldr wanted to rush to her right now. He wanted to tell her that it didn’t matter, that it wouldn’t be a problem if they felt the same way. That he wouldn’t let anyone scorn her.

But he also knew that wasn’t the issue. Jeanne hadn’t rejected to be his mistress simply to avoid ridicule. She had chosen to live as a tutor in exile to maintain her integrity. Was it right to try and sway her from that decision? Even if he could change her mind, could he guarantee she wouldn’t regret it later?

He didn’t know.

‘…I see.’

Sleepless nights, filled with pain and anguish, continued. The torment of not being able to have the woman he desired hardened him like steel. And in his suffering, he finally understood his brother’s feelings, the brother who had abandoned his title and the dukedom.

‘He didn’t want to bring shame upon his wife and unborn child.’

His brother might have died a tragic death because he left the duchy, but at least he had spared his wife and child from a life of shame and disgrace. 

If his brother had stayed, inherited the title, and taken the maid as his mistress, Ana would have been an illegitimate child, and the maid, a mistress. And his brother… his brother would have likely married a woman he didn’t love and passed on the title to her child.

‘Live long enough, and anything is possible.’

He couldn’t believe there would come a time when he finally understood his brother.

‘Did my brother ever regret his decision?’

The dead tell no tales.

‘Not even in his final moments, dying as a commoner instead as the Duke of Skadi?’

…So, what should he do?

Jeanne had chosen not to want him. Now it was Baldr’s turn to choose, but he remained indecisive, lost in thought, as if he had all the time in the world.

But time is finite, and fortune favors the bold, not the hesitant. Three months after the Princess’s departure, another royal carriage arrived at the Skadi ducal residence.

* * *

It was an ordinary day. I was teaching Lady Ana in the study.

Then suddenly, a frantic knock came on the door. The urgency was unlike the usual knock of a maid bringing refreshments. Wondering what was going on, I opened the door to find the maid, gasping for breath.