WBWB | Chapter 50

I couldn’t say anything in response to the Princess’s words.

“Was I too blunt? Or are you perhaps hesitant because you have feelings for the Duke? If it’s the latter, it would be better for me to be his wife than any other woman. I’m not the type to be consumed by anger and jealousy after losing my husband to a mistress. Why don’t we share him? And you can share my lovers as well. We’ll be good friends.”

As I listened to her words, I realized.

‘Those rumors are all true.’

The realization stunned me. The Princess before me was still as beautiful as an angel, but I saw her differently now. She seemed like an empty shell.

‘She’s never loved anyone but herself.’

The rumors about her enjoying the spectacle of men fighting for her affection from her balcony must be true. And the rumors about her instigating their rivalry as well. Because to her, lovers were no different from clothes or shoes, objects for her amusement.

And the Princess wanted to marry the Duke. What would happen to him if he married her, if he fell into her trap? I could picture it clearly.

‘His heart would become a wasteland.’

The Princess was asking me to lie.

‘But…’

If I told that lie, I would be free. And I wouldn’t have to worry about my family’s livelihood anymore.

“Could you… give me some time to think about it?”

“Of course! Thank you! Thank you, Miss Toulouse! You’re a true hero, saving me from that monster! Perhaps you were exiled here for this very reason, to save me! Here, this is a gift to commemorate our friendship!”

She ran her fingers through her thick hair and removed a hair ornament. It was a star-shaped jewel, which she placed in my hand. Startled, I shook my head.

“I can’t accept this. I…”

“Why not? Take it. What’s wrong with a friend giving a gift to a friend? Have a necklace made with this, or a bracelet, or a brooch. When you return to court, show off your star jewelry! Then everyone will know you’re my friend, without you having to say a word.”

As I took the jewel from her, I suddenly remembered the star-shaped brooch that had glittered on Baroness Etoille’s chest.

* * *

Back in my room, I turned the star jewel over in my hands, lost in thought.

‘Her Highness overestimates me.’

That the Duke would listen to me, even if he didn’t listen to anyone else… I didn’t know what rumors she had heard, but I was no one. He had offered me the position of mistress, but that was months ago. How quickly people’s hearts changed. And hadn’t he told me himself, just yesterday, that it was out of pity?

‘Even if I speak well of the Princess… would he even listen?’

But I also felt uneasy. If he listened to me and lowered his guard against the Princess, would he be able to resist her charms? She was truly, breathtakingly beautiful.

‘If I just praise the Princess, I might be able to return home.’

I was torn. It was clearly a betrayal of the Duke’s kindness, but the temptation was too great. And there was a chance he wouldn’t fall in love with her, even if I praised her.

‘But what if he falls in love with her? Because of me?’

Even to me, a woman, the Princess was captivating. How much more so to a man? The Princess could kill with her beauty, and she had killed before.

‘What should I do?’

As I wavered, time continued to slip by. While I was relieved not to have encountered the Duke, I also worried about missing the opportunity to be freed from exile.

Sleepless nights returned, and I became noticeably thinner, worrying Lady Ana.

‘This is wrong. Wrong to Ana, to him, to everyone.’

…And at the same time…

‘I want to see my mother. I want to see my brother. I’m so tired. I want to escape. Escape to a place where he isn’t, where I can stop thinking about him.’

…Those thoughts consumed me, pulling me in opposite directions, as if tearing me apart.

‘I love him. I want to escape from him, from this exile. Because this love will never be reciprocated. But I don’t want him to fall in love with the Princess. I wish there was someone else, someone kind and gentle, who loved him…

Why am I wishing for another woman to love him? Why? Because I’m worried he’ll be lonely? Who am I to worry about him, an exile myself?’

As I struggled with these conflicting thoughts, I secretly hoped that time would simply pass without me making a decision, that I would miss the chance to return to Franc, and the Princess would leave, blaming me for her failure.

One day, as I remained confined to my room, tormented by these irreconcilable thoughts, unable to make a decision, the opportunity came to me.

* * *

That night, too, I sat at my desk instead of in bed, clutching my head, staring at the window, which had become like a black mirror. The willow bark tea didn’t help with the headaches, which were getting worse by the day.

‘I can’t do it.’

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t.

‘Praise the Princess and tell him the rumors aren’t true? I can’t.’

I didn’t even know how to bring it up, and I doubted I would even have the opportunity.

Then, a knock came. At this late hour. If it were the maid, she would have announced herself. But there was no sound. I opened the door, puzzled.

I had expected Baroness Etoille, coming to urge me to make a decision, but it was the Duke standing there.

“…”

“Why are you still awake?”

It wasn’t the kind of question someone would ask after knocking on your door.

“What is it, Your Grace?”

“I came to talk.”

The Duke said.

“It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to come inside, so put on your coat and come out. Let’s take a walk.”

At this late hour? In this cold? I looked at him, wondering if he was joking, but his expression was serious. I closed the door, put on my coat, and lit the lamp.

‘What is this about?’

I tried to guess, but I couldn’t.

It was a dark night. We walked without a destination. As I stepped outside with the lamp, I glanced at the mansion. Most of the lights were out, but a few were still on, including the Princess’s room.

‘Is she watching us again?’

What did he want to talk about, summoning me so late at night? I wasn’t afraid of walking alone with him in the dark. Yes, my heart was pounding, but not because I was afraid of what he might do. Even now, I thought, ‘Even now, being alone with him makes my heart race.’

‘I’m insane.’

“The Princess doesn’t seem to want to leave. As if this place is coated in honey.”

He began, as if talking to himself.

“They claim it’s a border patrol, but the Princess and her entourage haven’t left the mansion. They say they’re worried about her being kidnapped or injured if she patrols the border, but wouldn’t it have been better for her to stay in the safety of the royal palace?”

“…”

“I’ve been patient while they deplete my stores, destroy my garden, and hunt my game for sport. I’ve even tolerated her hosting a ball and acting like the lady of the house. To prove my loyalty. But my patience is wearing thin.”