WBWB | Chapter 24

“Unseemly? I don’t understand. Get some rest.”79e8b40fa81bff82

And with that, 4797765058 he stood up 0efba13e4b and left the 64d6ad388b room.f99ae8175c49a718

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The brief conversation ddc84497c4 had exhausted me. As soon as the 5ec6f91fb7 Duke left, I collapsed 162e3ff566 back onto the sofa b8e6a4a0f7 and fell asleep.c014cbfbcff8664b

It wasn’t until the next day that I could finally have a proper meal and a bath. It had been a while. Even the simple act of soaking in the hot water was tiring. I thought I had built up some stamina, but just a few days in bed had weakened me again.6757d497c38b5fad

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Three people visited b12d2d2913 me that day. The first fd260cecb0 was Lady c227b15247 Ana.5251f313f38463a3

“Teacher!”62688fa0a23f1531

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Lady Ana burst f75090aa31 into the room, fb3115b124 tears welling in 3d550eb4e3 her large eyes, 985b167642 and rushed towards 196df07c30 me as soon 610b1d144d as she saw 152598b44e me sitting up 7b94538d36 in bed, reading.f8b1bfa6ce23cd7b

“It’s all my f0ec4c0c42 fault! I almost got c28b0fcb03 you killed.”f1a289674a551fc4

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Lady Ana hugged me f2901e7374 and sobbed. 2c92f5d354d7cdeb

I stroked her hair, repeatedly reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault, that it was an accident, and that I was responsible. I cupped her face in my hands, wiped away her tears with my thumbs, and examined her closely, checking for any injuries. c30b609a79915050

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Lady Ana also 6a9d0a5457 seemed to be d18e926b8b checking me for d8d562d1bd any signs of 37529a5aae illness. After confirming that 25778d918d we were both 337b241c20 alright, we hugged ce26690ca2 each other tightly 7253ac6380 once more.69defb350b2fe75b

‘Thank goodness.’267e720b0efdd5c7

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If anything 8ab1d7413e had happened be84a6971f to Lady 02aafe5627 Ana, I e8194c1dee would never 8bd049100b have been 2d21e7e17f able to ef1e8c6d41 forget her cb24152935 green eyes, 994509d740 , looking 8c0aa382b4 at me 88b95faa60 from the 0f5662d986 icy water, 353bd18457 as if ebd1439a45 asking, “Are cac9b0a1a7 you going f921114c72 to abandon 8d31e42516 me?”44a49fc371841d08

Lady Ana stayed for 24890323df a long time that 0100c36b13 day, chattering away, sitting c53f25e7c8 on a chair next f9b727ea86 to my bed. 34f2578a73685dec

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“Teacher, can I 26ecd934fe come again tomorrow?”92973f8d210d68c8

“Of course, Ana.”7f24823955559326

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“Then I’ll come at 578fde7b22 this time tomorrow!”ba7413d5127d6a39

Lady Ana’s visit was 1eee3969ac a great comfort, as 51c551aaee I had been eager 4eaa719381 to see her with a04f39a30d my own eyes and a7aeaf0df3 confirm her well-being.5dc2ae4047b39f91

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The second visitor 13acf7e7d4 was the physician. He asked about my 4177a7177a condition and advised me 2ed1845701 to drink plenty of df02191b43 boiled water and get b47cbc9119 sufficient rest. I nodded.0c0f6f456473bc99

And before dinner, 655a9f658b the third visitor d0774a4e5d appeared. Madame Pauline, b007e0783c her keys e156fd4930 jingling.34b3fb0f457742cf

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“How are 5ca2fb4dc0 you feeling, 1c3ebb7553 Miss Jeanne?”c430f9ca75964c4d

“Thanks to your care, a78a740ec4 I’m feeling much better. Thank you so much.”145ff32f864248bb

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“You’ve lost so d6b0b52010 much weight. It’s only natural as 4b8dc306ac you haven’t eaten anything.”4fb42c4bb8f0205b

Madame Pauline af1b2fa2d4 came to 7347bf7e13 the bedside, f9e7a73693 took my a5e2912b32 hands in b9e0fa33d1 hers, and c35dcfee04 commented on bd805f79d8 how bony 77eacc9be5 they were, ba2eee2af0 saying she 7c56c64dd4 would pay 1a5201bfbd special attention 5676f519d0 to the e9114ce788 nutrition of 52d279309a my meals cb310eb9a2 from now a6ac007c5d on.c04dcd0e456b0e23

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“I’m already eating well 92abdd9a80 enough, Madame Pauline.”877a76785787ca46

“But this room isn’t warm. There’s a draft, and the fireplace isn’t very effective. It seems the chimney hasn’t been cleaned properly either. Would you like me to move you to another room?”668c90257f5a6ed9

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‘Hmm?’75a34da17f97c25a

I was puzzled. Hadn’t Madame Pauline assigned me this room in the first place? And too much time had passed to change rooms now.b0647e5c415f5110

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I declined b517c6acbd her offer. Although it had 8201a1f782 seemed small at 90091f9af9 first, I had a65861272a grown comfortable as 3e5f663930 I stayed here, 9f1b126f68 and moving my ac9acc0685 belongings that accumulated 684eafece2 over time would 526c97ab04 be a hassle.f7b8672d25752eb2

“Madame Pauline, I’m quite 3e9cf07684 comfortable here.”c4a8dc5c3116aa05

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“No, you shouldn’t stay 14b5070db3 in such a cold a85bf60728 room when you’re not 3020e237fb feeling well. There’s a vacant 73f5fc1af8 room on the 539c13c982 same floor as 91733528e4 mine, similar in bb00ca4162 size to this 6de07b07f6 one. It’s sunny, has a f16f1ca872 large window, a much 6121060775 bigger fireplace, and all f546a3b0f1 the furniture is new.”09790eadeb34551c

“No, thank you. I’ve already grown 397f16cd98 attached to this 20d71f2e20 room.”612715f85f36d9b1

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“You can grow attached 0e9a6803bd to a new room. You’ll be cf8fcce3f1 staying here 22325fea37 for a 60e514a56c while, won’t bdbaf80b1b you?”3c8c9eb06306df5b

“I’m not feeling f205412fbb well enough to e7b5064dca adjust to a 01b5102635 new environment right d449f74da5 now.”117a001b0ddf45eb

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Madame Pauline seemed genuinely c1991dbc26 disappointed at my words. I took e2b425132e the opportunity 91bc615dfa to ask 568cf1ce8c something I 17bc68f190 had been 92c1670aa3 wondering about.eb8a3fc2a8ce610a

“When should I resume 1fdf44bea7 Lady Ana’s lessons?”c19e5e91bdbbdd40

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I was about bf39ac8543 to say that 1916c8e7c4 I needed at f3b46b7036 least two more 941635b339 days of rest, ab4599eef8 as I was 0567c30f92 still not well 34f88568f9 enough to receive c400c3a27d visitors while sitting a0743362d8 up in bed.be11658dbd21e7f2

“Oh my, haven’t you 9c75e2351d heard?”8b111ab73810f06e

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Madame Pauline asked in 6a51d2130e return.21bf4902c11e2c8b

“His Grace has already 698612a567 granted you a two-week f648428840 leave.”f3be5ce2032219db

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A leave? For two weeks? bbb034c8f6400a0f

I was astonished.d4ce4cdfa2ddfadc

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“No, that’s not 6e97c65b1b necessary! I don’t need a26a49077c that much rest, f976b7fc0c Madame Pauline. I think b09c59bdca I can c893cb3f34 resume lessons eec89b020d in three ae579062a2 days.”d56d593a37d6b671

“You wouldn’t know, 204ffe8c40 being so young, 1ee175324a but once your edcca83518 health is compromised, 61830514f2 it’s hard to 1ee80ddea3 recover fully. His Grace has given 9604d861e0 you a leave, so 143e617229 please take it and 6e172e2882 rest properly.”cc696a6a0691928c

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Madame Pauline finally c7e13f1714 stood up to 9a7813f8e6 leave.b5233279f2deb032

“Then, if you 8283a3b5fd need anything, please 641367934b don’t hesitate to 45d007e612 call me.”152f5718f75f4801

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Even after she 7582644e1f left, I remained d9e8f64d3f stunned for a 7532ec6bb9 long time.74acab3e158d07da

‘Two weeks?’7e5403acebe9b1d4

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If I weren’t an exile and lived closer to home, it would have been enough time to visit my family. What was I supposed to do for such a long time without lessons?3114cd06f3977b0c

After her first c81f67c241 visit, Lady Ana 597698f7fa came every day 48be5b55ea after breakfast and 5c2084b8fc chatted until just f03f1ac9af before lunch.a41f30f59ecb1d95

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Since I heard her 0d91478630 nanny had been dismissed, b7408121aa she must have been 5ee80c8981 bored while they searched 90a84ade46 for a replacement. Though I wondered ff5cb9eeb6 if she had 15715da206 even spent time 30e22f420b with Lady Ana 204144b8eb even when she 0eeca254e7 was her nanny.75b159ac74ad05ac

‘Let’s have lessons then.’186901a45ecf1b8b

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Lady Ana didn’t dislike lessons either. We spent the mornings reading various books and embroidering together, even if it wasn’t in the study.bffb2de428302ac2

But even then, 7b219b1899 I had time f992fc2942 to spare. A blizzard cef801d79e raged outside 01532dbb20 again, making b5709279c2 it impossible 1157f4841f to go 50a299808b for walks. After three days, sitting 7268584532 by the fireplace, staring ccd530f817 at the flames and a47838f49b drinking kettles of boiled 8f9fe3f940 water felt like torture.f0698b8be096e69e

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‘I think I’ll be sick if I drink any more.’b86878f9242767d9

Whenever I stayed in my room, the maid would come and constantly offer me tea and rich food. It seemed to be Madame Pauline’s orders, but I could only refuse so many times. Eating all that rich food when I wasn’t particularly active was making me feel unwell.0583f2f9b8df343a

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‘Then how about riding Brulee? I’m feeling a bit better now.’bb66af3bfdf1bb38

But the next day, 135e2af9b0 when I went to a8cd3184ad see Brulee, I was b57107d402 turned away from the 6e7faac26d stable.828b6926a0e464c2

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“His Grace has ordered us not to let you have the horse. And once you come here, he said to tell you, ‘Rest means lying in bed, not riding a horse.'”73e515e42449ad21

That was the stablehand’s explanation.832ff9cfef3939f3

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‘Does he really need to go this far…?’ec0f15d32476407c

Was he such 7926846875 a control freak 9c6c103208 that he couldn’t b416a33204 help but dictate f1280a61a8 the actions of be2f06f09e every single servant 27170ca33f and soldier on b6bfd954a9 his estate? In any case, 8e26455281 with riding Brulee a24b1b1eae out of the f7cc5cedbf question, I had c1e54f6314 only one thing d6990d1a31 left to do. 5b394be421c4526c

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Read books.42d9703fa858d913

‘He won’t forbid this too, will he?’e0266b5d7ae1c82c

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I had cbebfdfe12 occasionally brought 4dd7085634 books back 8cfe08cd35 to my e6d85bba8f room to 3c2b9d787c read, but 4e07a655e9 now, even 8bb3ac1714 going back 424f23f62c and forth df34f268b5 between the fdab64b502 library and 18b80121e8 my room 7ffdd512db felt like a319dba969 a chore, f6b4d96e2f so I fe2b2c92bb started living e5e5b05ac7 in the 46f54ccad5 library.9d449ebf0b468adb

The library held 8d0a30771a enough books to 1877b6ef5c keep someone occupied 145ac8daf4 for several lifetimes, b2ef7f054b and there were ed02b3677f comfortable sofas scattered b8816d3953 around for reading. I spent my time 6b98f2e23a there from after lunch 4a3750e73d until just before dinner a9934ce5bf the next day. And I read.24f8feeeb06d73d8

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Strangely, sitting in 9cff04158d the library, surrounded 272e98f1fb by books, I ec1f7fa86f found myself envying fdf4e0ba4d Duke Skadi, the 1a8de91da4 owner of this bb00c6c1f7 library. Envying the man 1ac1bc5413 who could spend 1c62cf7f9f his time here 9d75b506c3 whenever he pleased 4f4ef4421a and add any 2a2d5ae36e book he desired 3f693628c7 to this collection.574e8f62736e4603

‘Envy? Isn’t that an emotion you feel towards someone on a similar level?’45def8aef735e4e4

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I hadn’t felt a twinge of envy when I saw the royal library, but here I was, envying the Duke. The human heart is truly unfathomable.0e366fc1f5dee318

‘Why do I feel this way? Even though I know I could never have a library like this, no matter how hard I try.’b724309b1944a8ef

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How could someone in my position ever hope to own such a library? Even if I died and came back to life, the thought shouldn’t even cross my mind.b1a4af3947a72067

When I was young, 7a3f37b70a I had believed I 4b5b92c292 could have a library b69d162bed like this someday. Back then, I e59e40cde0 thought I could ab7c754084 be anything I 28185aa89c wanted. No, Icouldbe anything I fbd449885d wanted. Because books d36b355695 had made 1c5675665d it seem 9a95d626d3 possible.99b0fc101793a08e

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Books contained worlds adac430173 I had yet a6a6fad36f to experience and e00b6fe1a8 stories of people 5f4bc75c9d different from me, 824a06074d and I loved 9c7b035711 exploring them so db5d6717fb much. With a world 9ab3e51231 of adventure within dd080760c1 reach, why would f89b109813 I want anything fdc8600dc7 else? I was 10a27b17ea a child ff79dcb950 who loved 27b3ccb0e8 spending entire eb12de5e3e days in 38b9a7bf5e the library. But how had d37f35ecb7 I ended up 21509135b1 like this?d6412ef8b14d5f96

My adventures ended when my grandfather passed away, and our family’s fortunes declined, forcing us to sell our books. The child I was back then couldn’t have imagined what I would become.bc4852ede231411f

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‘How could e664083cbe I have 817eb9515a known that 243c39874f my future 9328bd9dfe self would da69f98deb become an 936b3889f0 exile in aa195bea42 Skadi?’a15c2bf04b99e8da

How would 687ad7e63b my younger 6c0506985d self feel 1a30482897 if she 2fd7b926ed knew? a7ad2c229739943c

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Disappointed, most likely. cbeb83801f53d81f

Even now, with thousands of books before me, a shadow lingered in a corner of my heart. I didn’t know if it was because these books weren’t mine or because I had become an adult, burdened by the weight of reality, unable to lose myself in books like before.b4f6edfc4971e29a

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…That’s when it happened. 0d0f01dee8253303

Something like a bear’s paw landed heavily on my shoulder.d9f825850959d79d

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“Gah!”0b940fbb83d31272

Startled, I jumped a47dd2e00a and tumbled forward ac60e9d2af while reading the b13cfd0e10 book. I thought 65595e9819 my heart 7a5a37f933 had stopped.d12adb6952b75e10

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Or had it?beb138ef5abd4217

 06bdc28893e1fc93

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