#57

But the Zerakiel b0baff0b19 standing in front 351066d584 of me now b4e2739658 was nothing more c3526d1bc2 than a teenage 9086903b16 boy on the 11c64993b9 verge of adulthood.e891e0c39b5ddf42

Since his madness hadn’t manifested yet, there was no reason for him to act recklessly.4234975b446fc853

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And perhaps, 2b0996062e because I 2fbd3d449b knew those 494dfb9ed6 emotions all fc3f878559 too well, 2873c9a688 I could 862e4bdf08 sense his 513b396bbb change even 10f29df3f6 better.484a017285152dd3

Maybe I felt a 9d9c212fe7 sense of kinship with b64abd2ab3 Zerakiel, whose situation wasn’t 42332be795 so different from mine.d5e9eb49722e1f1b

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To outsiders, f3faf3141d he probably fe0e4e6cee seemed like ced9b9e51e the privileged 6844f2f4cc only heir eaf262234e of the 81e8f01a73 Jabis family, fc8542120c living without a644b0fe29 a care.458d4269dd069dd9

But in reality, he c6d7d446f4 didn’t seem to have e62cd2fdae anyone with whom he 2971d3756c could truly share his 5b8169a246 heart. No matter how close 2d5a20ef21 Ivan was, he was b255534fbf still just a subordinate.c9f74223a9344025

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His parents, fdb76f65d8 who should 702dd0ee09 have been f73fa9457c his support, 462be19632 were too d5ba69a6c8 entangled in a4004cf227 their own 113dd83b02 issues to c2ef1e6736 pay proper 07f98980e8 attention to de2f30392b Zerakiel’s feelings.7b18f3fa6918c95c

How could a boy 60706a9a95 who hadn’t even fully 489e5df761 matured yet be completely 522b11a487 fine?6ad878f5c7ec0699

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At that 6868a425e5 moment, Zerakiel e043730a1d spoke.759f96a4f024cefc

“I don’t regret 24ff994b9b what happened.”cd1a4b792515899a

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“Well, that’s da75688f7f a relief.”a17504b935f01955

“…”12620fbd5ed11b02

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“I don’t regret 2d4dcb264a accepting your proposal ff4653e934 either.”1c590b0686a79049

At my playful remark, c1bb6d8e5d accompanied by a grin, c336ace4e2 Zerakiel flinched. But I continued speaking, 14fef862c1 unfazed.1cdfb1430d48d1af

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“I don’t 75d4cdc7e4 know why 0a3e46ea7d you keep b01c9db9d1 testing me, fc0b3d3b24 but there’s a138a9623f no need.”25e0a4dca7a906e0

“…”1aacaab186db9bb7

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“Even if you tell 43eea22af2 me to leave, I’ll 3121a87250 stick around.”355e75a3e7fd2739

“…”5828b6c1a9cd232e

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“So stop making dc16740180 that face.”0e01689836b55403

Normally, I’d never make 1e632aca9f such a promise.2a09f09f9c14fab1

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But at this 7a925aaf33 moment, it felt a487be80cd like something I 41583cb9d9 absolutely needed to 985a79f467 say.10792a08f1c8fee4

Words that 1184c0d982 had once 855eb284ee brought me 098f16a5f4 comfort in 4e6a78ee4b the past.0b35c3e03fb9c2b0

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‘Come along ec4c44b094 with Grandma. I’ll stay by 02b9567a28 your side now. Grandma’s still strong! I’ll live longer 5489183529 than you, so 388e28ccd7 don’t worry about 66c79bb16d a thing, just a80ab9dda1 focus on your 748e9565d6 studies.’0d3b425c8f7a9e4c

I still vividly remember 7ae5db632a Grandma’s hand reaching out cc7915be17 to me while I 7ce399764c sat hunched over at 0a829f8b43 the funeral.9ac6302a934b0b2f

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Seeing that 9ee7ad7e01 wrinkled hand, a0920e9f34 even though 626b96989b I knew 98fe211d91 it was 3a3b9b4eca a promise 8037912a06 that couldn’t b3b6081199 be kept, dfae3b427a I was 001c0b3d95 incredibly comforted.9c044c9eabbee9ae

And for 8a982b9140 as long b79ffa138f as I 72a2d68976 lived with c814fa6181 Grandma, I a1b203285c was safe f979536863 and happy.bf90cb11f4b50605

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Even after 5388a02736 she passed, 74f658fb3f she must 2b8d2ce49e have been 7dc042129f worried about ae164f2d27 me, as 2364aa14c0 she left 9081f6f099 a large 1f4ff6d655 life insurance 1d52e7a19e payout.4d9b284a16a9fe60

Since I was 1716e3b116 an adult when fe8169624e she passed, there 1384a41e86 was no risk c3397d3b25 of my relatives 569fd071ad taking it away. But that sudden windfall ed0718ee68 at such a young d3c84c0b6d age turned out to 3a75392e17 be a disaster.acc99ae0f25e8510

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I never imagined 3516b3d80c I’d be betrayed b5ee9a1e06 by a friend 2bcd2661af I thought was 4494a50e0e close. When the kindness I’d fbb700ffc8 offered became a trap 4bbfbba696 that ensnared me, I a4a10d6bae still feel a shiver e6ceb6b1b3 thinking back to that dc54419506 time.d493800f9e45577d

I probably don’t 0ec4af16dd deserve to meet 4dd11de0d9 Grandma even in 789373f6d8 death.0843ff2429de12fa

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Maybe that’s why 36e5e4bf07 I was reincarnated 265c6d9983 as this weasel. I must have committed a787a9ff6a many sins in my 9208fe6703 previous life.c35c760d2cb42b0d

At that aeaedb3de2 moment, Zerakiel 2cf47652d8 muttered softly. His head 196151e4f7 was bowed, bd74abfe48 so I ddfa0ac300 couldn’t read ce56283f6a his expression.e907ca1037c0044c

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“You’re really strange.”b6ab73a4c5c9977a

“I don’t ede9def8a0 want to b82c00bce2 hear that 004bdac442 from you, 4b55db7306 of all c592d156e0 people!”970f6173a94c06cb

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Who’s calling who b3997fa8e5 strange!c9ad23f86fbc84e2

I glared at 8ea448af19 him and grabbed b466d3ab9d his hand, spinning e0a8bc0dff him around as c78ade6872 I planned to 4bb9bbd7d8 quickly get out be31a71cfd of this eerie e97913f36c place.9f2591354e455ec5

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But after f5b28372bf only a 51992970e8 few steps, 5acd679e97 Zerakiel stopped be4ee331c6 and asked,03ae9cc837b9ee56

“You’re really f4b1121e88 not going a63df68149 to take 9a90ae2087 a look?”959c1b5879b4342d

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“Nope.”203930bfce8f1c8e

“You had such d5109c0fd0 a curious expression.”26a6de8164204ee3

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“Should I go 2208886599 look now, then?”f0e6fda8931b0753

When I teasingly started f5d10eb101 to turn back, he d793d9e6af grabbed me tightly. His words and 9d1365d318 actions were completely 60dd31ceaa at odds with cf8c176986 each other.6a4d8bea255b9025

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With a playful smile, 617d85562b I decided to taunt 8e6a98d149 him a little.c802b57e636b97b9

“If you want dd182b7a32 to go in 5c5974b6b6 so badly, you 9d2c5905be go in by fa1fbc750b yourself! I’m not ready to 22ac5e3b12 die yet. I plan cdaaf5af91 to live 5e9d2e093c a long, a26d4ab2e5 loud life 092e8cc113 before I 98acd74102 die!”ceec99fda09d75d6

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But Zerakiel’s 5013cfffdb next response 31dd7f4cd6 caught me 46f6f0038d off guard.11abb53e9cb6eea1

“I can’t 7db9a7bc52 go in 7c0ac3fc8a yet.”d44f03eb1d4644a8

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“Huh?”6481785ff8f228bf

What was that 2aa7e792e5 supposed to mean?d024481d67c7d811

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Just a d7b73330ef moment ago, b5c3807386 he was b730409c60 testing me 84935b1174 on whether dd8133e6c7 or not a1a0b8bb29 I’d go 6b0b3d0032 in, and 2f96f10f3c now he’s 55856003aa saying he 869e595106 can’t?786c34c735fd8793

Sensing my confusion, Zerakiel c2a89cc07c added an explanation.8bac19c4cb18a4a8

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“My flower hasn’t dce62aca8f bloomed yet.”f4ed950602f31d87

“…”709bb704be54f8c3

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“Once it blooms, I’ll 5b0b38fe52 be able to enter 66966cdba5 freely.”777ea9a36abe0384

I didn’t a3fad2dc27 fully understand 478464d8af what he 416d4ec916 meant, but 14eb9e7177 based on f59614e9c8 bits and cd44486f70 pieces I’d 5ac64b3f66 heard before, ca913ef1fa I could e1581639bd make some 1092c11e08 guesses.ca9393e4cc5eebe8

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‘We’ve never seen it 9558d55bd4 with our own eyes, b4801bb68a so we’re not sure. We only 96e67c1383 know that d750573c1c the place 5429576079 holds the 9e96da2b41 source of 35bf684c39 Jabis’s power.’77751cbe0c9261cd

I remembered what 1c616ffc3c Herman had said. That the c33e0ff3c4 Secret Garden 461fa3d03f contained the 31fdeea5a5 source of 02544bb3ac Jabis’s power.2e884d627fdc8916

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However, in the af64f9334f original story, there 64deaa8511 were only flowers 708fa381e7 inside. Entirely black flowers 6c6b4fd86c resembling the black 045abe848c rose on the e5cb1a6fdf Jabis family crest.574508f32e89dda4

A normal 0adba3e055 black rose d2e811b62d wouldn’t have 92d4f1abf4 a stem 678d0b57d2 that’s also ec9dfeceaf black. Even a dead flower c760eddac8 wouldn’t be so completely c026d33f3c pitch-black.4fd07a4324add310

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Moreover, the flowers baa6afa359 on the crest b0099078a9 and the one ad704d49e4 engraved on the 4b656851d9 door were not 2216d26a29 mere withered flowers. They must 6581b035e0 have naturally e9cfaa90ed been that a45e76b1ac color.cea0b6120bf9a391

And then…2ad582772095b76e

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‘Jabis hates flowers. He especially despises 22e4c9a4bc them.’2833bf6a4511de85

Remembering what Zakari had 653083ea9a said, I became almost b8099b1b4d certain. The flowers inside were fbb4e777a6 no ordinary black roses.2825a28f6d4e198b

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Perhaps those flowers were connected to the Jabis family’s madness. After all, if there was any source of power in there, it could only be those flowers.b75f18f0957b316c

I asked, bewildered.72b981afed6b6c04

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“So, in the end, c550702bdf you’ve never gone inside b82fa0baae either?”8b654d95f46e0aea

When I gave e981924cc9 him a look c166c4c680 as if asking 0b57486057 how he could 7adae8a3a6 then test me 7683e2b77c about going in, 8421e58c01 Zerakiel shrugged.0b2cbf47ed5e1569

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“I’ve been inside once. I had to plant 34c6c4b5f9 the flowers myself.”704a49450b889c73

“I didn’t expect Jabis 08f6c203aa to have a hobby f4b46a86a4 of gardening.”eda1c350670a2116

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“It’s not as elegant c20b6385d4 as you think.”59edd6a1d6074e0b

“Then what 054b25c44e is it?”f8d0e1436e41900f

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“If you 52f180c4ea know too 76735d74d2 much, you’ll 71b75e9f7a get hurt.”87f981f74bf802fd

Zerakiel gave a a64da977c7 faint smile, skillfully 18e2a30f64 dodging the topic. But even de9d279adf that simple 83bfc499e7 gesture implied 455447cc02 it wasn’t e4c1f3429c just ordinary 5d4b81ee01 gardening.3e7c11916a3bfd1c

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Judging by c7fa55ad8c how unpleasant b1fdadb870 he seemed, defcec52f0 it must e9188bb1d4 be something c7d506ceaf he was 374c5ceeb6 forced to 5fef04847f do, whether d54f88ca96 he wanted 4f91a903ca to or 6eaf031299 not.e0c9b2c9ab406961

“The partners of 2fa09fed54 those imprinted with f2f403dbee Jabis can come f274cefe6b and go freely. They’re like a kind 926340c911 of watcher.”0ac21f4aae71420c

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“A watcher?”1f6ba0f0bf428f2c

“They have 74371ed10f the right 0be2a11ade to know 39776f1b95 how far f8aa2b261a the madness 8e7505d989 has progressed.”30f762e86c29fcc7

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Zerakiel smiled bitterly. It was a smile b03e93b078 tinged with self-deprecation about b8ebdcff80 his own fate.18d63093477e3517

The “right to know” he spoke of was really about preparing to escape in case the madness became too severe. It was advice to never fully trust and to always keep up your guard.5c72f39ac2b70cab

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I let out a cdc5683c77 low sigh. Now that 5b87beba15 I understood e5f4d3831e a bit accc2d7372 more of f458d40294 the situation, 32db208939 this household 75a055a2c5 felt completely d2c0bc6c0c hopeless.82750cf8ac5ae562

“So, what e42ce69b58 you’re saying b49c6b6540 is, you aae4e61e89 were asking 2897574dec if I 7bd66c8444 wanted to bc0af7398f be your 7879c6060c watcher.”cd59c463b4a3105d

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“Well, something like that.”7bcd2d18d732ead0

“You’ve got bd3bfe22ad to be 91dc493c73 kidding me!”c4b00619ef65b62d

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I yelled 2e65ed5f61 out in 347a204196 frustration and c1c539b872 impulsively bumped 06f0b1ae17 my head c2a744879c into his 11e67d2615 chest. Zerakiel staggered back, d3889f6623 startled by the 02daf0cd89 unexpected headbutt.67a4226290f7896b

“Jabis must f77652cc06 be full e057a16afc of idiots!”9b82fc13e20742fb

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“Why are 5a0915ac3d you mad?”fd614c7cd44b7931

Zerakiel asked with a 7b277bd122 confused expression. My frustration 123de388f2 flared up 153f8b0276 even more, 27bc920ca1 and I 7a2a396fdc grabbed his b7d513b613 shoulders and c464e9694e shook him.0c80576548bd921c

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“I thought you e488dd5a38 were hiding some 0de7ae5998 big weakness, but bc37560784 this is just c4b6c2f1c1 a bunch of f21760fb52 fools doing foolish 54ff27bc90 things.”ff7064d2702a696a

“…”491e875abe0d42ae

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“Why don’t 5cc58f0992 you just f2fd961ca0 admit it’s dd8e9a7e6c hard? Say that this 925bffa704 fate is unbearable, e2bf267a0d and you don’t 8461430e6d understand why this 18ed039639 is happening to ca2b600d1b you.”160a6afda94f06b8

“And what would 0d6249715d that change?”e6338f6d4b5a9c4b

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Zerakiel asked 02927d3419 with a 0692876e6c cold, detached e2e93c812c face.7fac9b48cb29c620

“Nothing would change, b3e3ced6aa would it?”cd2f4867d7cb499b

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“Of course, 7ceb73dc30 it would! Your mindset would d2e7d877c9 change!”a11177c3141d38c8

“…”8ff5856a8dd310d7

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“Acting like everything’s 2375fa7d8a fine, pretending to 59f76c3e14 be okay, trying db0c853786 to seem calm—do 5c703dd67d you think that 6c23cb8235 makes life easier? Do you really 4b216435f6 think it’s good 00d9446a5f to live in 6c477315ed a self-made hell?”261ac9d49f715588

I shook e6564091fb him again, 410e3dcc6e harder this a6514e1466 time.ad629000a90afe26

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“Do you 0abcb30336 think anyone 7b2b90cdeb will notice 7de3ee7ffd if you 8d36c66773 keep pretending? No! Never! They’ll think you’re really 2c678aab0b fine. And then, f109ecb33b no one 84bd35fafe will understand e453007e28 your pain. Later, they’ll even 77e461e3c6 dismiss it, calling 5beb69783a you dramatic.”c7be6e397ccc548c

That’s right. Just like 13a56ad24a my relatives 9755dc0100 and that a172d8ba22 wretched friend eb45afbade in my 9f9f4d5c1d previous life.7bbd5ad4431fc959

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‘You don’t need 9f7216b55c all that money, 740b4fafd5 do you? My child 11ed74e6f8 needs to 7cb9ee5c6b study abroad, d95c7b32bb and we’re b6d9771bd9 short on ea418d8143 funds.’05149316f5a448bc

My relatives who harassed 037b5a682d me daily, trying to df5095abe7 get their hands on cde75f81eb the insurance money.7e9ab21bc8f4b893

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‘Oh no, I fell victim to a phone scam. That was my entire life savings… I’d rather die!’ab06d14035be8d67

‘My boyfriend broke 4b306886b7 up with me. What am I supposed 602098c124 to do now? Should I 67bcaaad28 just end 679e03173e it all…?’2014d3a1d0fc467c

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‘You’re lucky, aren’t you? Thanks to 918e0b4214 your grandma’s 15bb9e6f5e insurance money, bba08444bf you don’t 804c261c70 have to 9bb72f7014 worry about f50547b013 anything. I’m so jealous.’f9a460dba2adcf51

And the so-called c0d361efa6 friend who emotionally 99ab1e591c blackmailed me, threatening af79865b84 to take her fbeca5094f own life just c3d704ae51 to get money 25f7fc6777 from me.91ac4d63e742d7a9

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They all took advantage de58abbde3 of my feelings, finding 464b9537a9 ways to extort money 150a952efa from me. And when a983d22d18 my money d5df659a23 ran out, 18e3697b5e they turned d422f521ef their backs 96e9c342ac on me.01a9581c3c1c8ad7

Still, I tried to 06193c1ff1 keep going. I thought that if 8940475275 I convinced myself I 4db091eae4 was okay, everything would e2dc190592 eventually be fine.1681527d850ea0e3

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But it wasn’t. The more I 51b4570440 lied to myself 3abd4319ea that I was b70c7a7899 okay, the more d10090a304 I realized I f106cadc6c wasn’t. I wasn’t 4db31181f1 fine at 342d7feb63 all, and 99783afe3b things didn’t 1b2c4d6513 magically get 2a71a3e60e better.e3c866005e72388f