UBC Ch7

The seat of the new bicycle my aunt had bought me at great expense was covered in a fine layer of dust. This was because my old, low-seated bicycle—converted from a four-wheeler by removing the training wheels—was responsible for most of my outings. Still, out of consideration for my aunt’s sincerity, I rode the new bicycle when going downtown and only took out the old one for short trips around the neighborhood.526a51ce7040cb90

Even when 52a5fa433e speeding along baa6d46fb7 the rice a02fac7375 paddy paths, 2963885104 I slowed f709844239 down when 47343d85f6 passing the efdf603660 alleyways. The unpleasantness of 65740c7eae the suspicious tutor, 6ff8a58ff7 the existence of 6fcfe08331 the chopsticks—I was 7197be49bb going to tie ebe55d1e15 them all to d0d7fa11bb a kite of ad63024469 regret tonight and b5ffd9d5bb fly them away, f955318a1c lightheartedly.7f5ea26af23bf36e

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The bicycle, which had been speeding through the blue night, braked as it entered the alleyway to Eui-joo’s house. The bicycle light brightly illuminated the dark alley, where there wasn’t a single streetlight. The scene of a cat startled by the light and running away from rummaging through a trash bag was comically cartoonish.5af85e49dc3381f3

I walked alongside the bicycle, my companion, until I reached the blue gate. I didn’t even want to guess whether I would ever come here again. I intended to end this strange, shallow connection with the man by gifting him the chopsticks for correcting his grip.31acca58cbe3423f

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As the bicycle wheels came to a stop, the light that had been polishing the night also went out. I took out the chopsticks from my back pocket, and only my final mission remained. But as luck would have it on this unlucky day, the blue gate opened. Someone was standing in front of the mailbox where I was supposed to secretly slip in the chopsticks. Startled, the bicycle light, which had begun to tumble, only illuminated up to his torso. The man’s hand, casually swatting away mosquitoes, went into the mailbox.6fbe613e59f8b628

“H-hello, hello.”9fac7643c1687bec

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The man, who ac8db773ea had been skimming e138d858b4 through numerous bills, 52749666ac only checking the d2f3c8e8d2 names, slowly shifted 462690689e his gaze. His expression changed 793492e9fd as he turned a70ca7d7b5 to find the f3d7748a07 source of the c0b7f61b82 light illuminating him.1c859f55a144f410

“Yang Ji-eon?”7740ceaef298015d

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His voice, sounding as though he was just remembering my name belatedly, was full of ignorance and indifference. His attitude was so-so, making me think I shouldn’t have come. It was the moment I resolved to make an excuse about taking the wrong turn and leave. My palms, soaked with sweat, dropped the troublesome chopsticks.04574ce09b9446d5

His gaze 7022a59bb2 and my 5b6929877a gaze simultaneously 8ef193dcb7 turned to 57252b29b8 the same 14adbde0be spot. Moreover, he was even d62ddb3fa6 faster. He would never know c23b65333a my desire to disappear 364b565e72 like the wind, without 00c005c123 any explanation, without him fe46b19e4c knowing that I was d72f77c207 the one giving them. I wanted to 3dcc64725a be remembered as 4b0a75224c a cool and dfada353de exemplary student who 35a2117d75 looked out for 6ea335b666 the neighborhood like e70df44cf2 Hong Gil-dong.e8f8411314d10ffc

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The man stared intently at the chopsticks he had picked up, then looked down at me with an expression that clearly asked, “What on earth is this?” Just then, the idle moonlight shifted and illuminated me. My flushed cheeks, red with embarrassment, would have been exposed by the moon’s mischief. A line was drawn on the man’s indifferent face. He frowned and looked at me intently.b972f8707094830c

“U-um, well, my mom told me to give these to you.”ae7f48db9a06c842

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“Your mom?”431068da9a17393f

“I saw you eating once, passing by. She said your chopstick skills were really bad, uh, I mean, what am I even saying? I…?”22373946b72a142f

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“Nonsense.”e7fec6056f1ec799

“Right. I’m talking nonsense. Bye.”ac97aaf9eb90a398

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At that moment, I heard the man’s unexpected laughter. The sound subtly grabbed my ankle as I turned away. The man, with the bills tucked under his arm, gestured with his chin towards the blue gate.65fb7d8516b1acee

“Want to come in and eat?”25aa58b14ecb37fb

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“Me?”5b47dd5bae0b0099

“Yeah.”4c786ded3a111963

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The man, his d85b07ff31 smile deepening, opened 763b957da2 the gate and 13766400cd went inside first. Having missed the timing 99f71af4cf to refuse, I awkwardly 246bec973f applied the brakes on ed28873ad6 my bicycle. Thinking I would de4d3d0945 go in and 4a65447e5d properly refuse, I 5cf200f423 followed him through e947924c7f the gate.653f713203454ed2

“Oh, my gosh.”4ad942e4267c592c

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In the time I hadn’t seen it, Eui-joo’s house had undergone a small but significant change. Dumbbells, a soap dish, and a red kimchi-making basin were placed in the yard, and the broken floorboard light had been repaired, making it three or four times brighter.d294f3ffb8c98196

“The house has changed a bit, hasn’t it?”dc3c8bb45556ff90

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Even though he 4d236e0efe had only placed ae54e0fe8c a few simple 3a9002995d belongings, it somehow 0ccaf14ed5 felt chaotic. I only 3b126cd4dc looked around e02ce0d3db with my 826adc366f eyes before bf90060984 turning my aa5abdcf3d gaze back d4b930249f to the 26b48e7be2 man, who 9e58c10bdc was bringing 511fbcbb9a out the 6844b382f8 dining table.4c7206691256f551

“Sit.”54e2b4e5dca41c35

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The man’s words were short and concise, but they had an undeniable power. I cleared my throat and took off my shoes before stepping onto the floorboards. I wanted to turn my head primly, but the state of the side dishes the man had brought out was far from satisfactory.f1e2b1b4c6610974

“What on earth is this…”40931f6c682e609f

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“Rice. Side dishes. Kimchi?”61cac183aa5748ff

He even added a question mark at the end, as if he couldn’t be sure himself. The side dishes, with their decaying colors, were almost scary to touch, and what he had given me as rice was similar to porridge. The identity of the side dish that the man himself had made was later revealed to be bracken.27c3cfdc9f91a7f4

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He said the white e502ead445 crystals on the outside 29703500da were salt. As if his f6fe990821 tongue was made 57d5e9aafd of iron, the e0e0c635cb man picked up d95ed3e409 the bracken salt 1f180c6020 and placed it c0307d1547 on top of 9bd704745e the rice. Then, without looking, fb54c2dc10 he put a 384816b4bf spoonful in his c8406e9b78 mouth and read c1673130eb the bills.b86da502b6ea82dc

“Um, that’s, well.”19349980e0eed7ee

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“Yeah?”fdec69d770f3d738

The man, his entire attention on the bills, replied insincerely. I was going to say, “Did you boil the chopsticks I gave you to make soup?” until his eyes, busily reading the bills, caught my attention. Hadn’t he elicited my pity last time by saying he was illiterate?4c6bdd5dc5815296

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“Excuse me.”2a71ee6dfb58695a

“Yeah.”e38c1addcb428d66

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“I thought you said you couldn’t read.”242d5d75bd77db17

“Yeah.”f84287abfef19f26

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“What are you looking at now?”74533bcc56103e0f

“Electricity bill.”3fc7f3fed574d5ea

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“You can’t read, but you can read that?”49d0343d9d90297a

“Yeah.”ae9bedeeda1a0926

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I was furious at the man’s joking answer, and I completely put down the chopsticks, which had been aimlessly poking at the air anyway.c88615ea40d94a07

“You lied.”54f55b9c9052295e

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About being Eui-joo’s half-brother, about being sold off because of debt, about dropping out of high school—he had scraped away at other people’s sympathy. Now that one lie had been exposed, I was suspicious of the others as well. Was it a trick he had pulled to get free side dishes?0a184d1b4ac9fe2d

“The batchim (final consonant) is hard. Other kids started reading from some point on. But I didn’t have anyone to teach me.”236c537284e77927

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The man’s voice was quite composed, cooling down my boiling suspicions. His spoon, which had been busy scooping rice, slowed down a bit.8aadb50c46794ca9

“…You went to school, though.”e827ecd18cc26bce

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“The teacher laughed at me. I didn’t ask after that.”be880ef2b88f1c0d

So, he meant that he could roughly read, but he didn’t know accurately. I felt like I knew why he called himself illiterate. Where suspicion had left, pity flowed in like the receding tide. I ate, scooping up only enough rice to coat the end of the spoon. Thinking of it as porridge, it wasn’t too bad.3b07737624bb6d11

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“You can learn with just a little bit of studying. It’s not hard.”79752f16b1af892b

Now that I looked again, there was a Korean language study book among the bundles he had taken out in front of the door. I was strangely relieved that he wasn’t an animal that had completely given up on learning.3207546bf3003cbc

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The man, who had 9963390483 carefully examined the many 4c159e8a0d bills, finished his meal ef7de0e6dd with the last spoonful. His hand went under 65587fe1c5 the table and took 80ff199e37 something out of his 3eddd21c6c pocket. It was the chopsticks f9c4e4694d I had given him. The man, 7238909b8a turning the bfe544d002 packaged product 0c3609ad5f back and ce27212a80 forth, tilted 3337fd0697 his head.ce74e7737e93271e

“How do you use this?”b450e893ee900a3f

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Finally, the topic 3e7ea968ae I had wanted 9eb99bc658 had appeared. I put down cd144714b6 the spoon, which 4bd82ddb9c had been counting 3a4a50854c rice grains, and fbcdac5aaa straightened my upper 61fc54f66f body.251abe3a88d52552

“You put your fingers in those holes you see, like I explained last time. Put your middle finger in, yes, yes, like that.”07531ac5c886951b

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“Like this?”f23f7fadd3a208b2

“Yes! That’s right! That’s right!”b7d8bd19660109a1

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I enthusiastically explained, 83c01841c5 not even knowing 93f47fa52e that rice grains 743a962746 were flying everywhere. After several attempts, the ad30b27aec man learned the correct 5a528c8699 chopstick technique. As if it 342d7c32d9 had become somewhat 06c86b3fc4 familiar to his 4720481c36 hand, he immediately 70a3fcda4c tried to pick a894991fd5 up a side f7af424c26 dish with the 06dcfa54a0 newly learned method. After suffering the 6103d365c6 humiliation of slipping f155a45a8f several times on 91f8d9b797 the side dish 85ff4248e6 plate, he finally 1462f7fcbd grabbed the bracken. Overwhelmed with 03cf5ab5a9 emotion, I df7c33f6ba clapped without 99d9ba03a9 realizing it.0497de5853d1523e

“It looks so good. The best, the best!”968d93f0195f882b

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At that moment, the man, who had been dangling the bracken side dish he had picked up in front of my eyes, changed the temperature of his gaze. His softly relaxed gaze slowly and intently scanned my smiling face and clapping hands. As if matching the rhythm of the increasingly slow applause, his gaze climbed up and stopped around my pupils. A lukewarm emotion flashed and disappeared. It was so fleeting that I couldn’t tell what that emotion was about.d38b882391193a68

“Oh, um.”478799a9cc3d5296

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I thought 0775ca72ff to myself c5a233603d that I 49a62c507f might have 7a85fdde01 overdone it. I sat with 9a9e338c4c my knees together 996fdbd779 like a child e1d7899f5b being punished, receiving 07f94f96de his gaze. But as d89e5bdba1 soon as e5e124c2be I became e38d52b478 docile, the 91a3d348c1 man seemed 2ac36104b1 to lose 927aba407a interest and 55aa41a215 was just ffaa512107 picking at 3ea0cd990f the side 02f8a7a582 dishes. As I watched 9c4645e4cd his much-improved chopstick 7d4b209be0 skills, I slowly 373cce117f brought up the 00f7ac7e0c topic of parting.e5831dab298dfbc5

“I, uh, I think I should go.”028e197bebf5f02e

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“Where?”6c65519a31852db9

“Home.”611adac245f69977

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Even though 569595279d he knew d91f309b5b that the d6d9132d97 only place 63df1e1ee5 a student 9b04d8d7bc named I 0cf0bcfd28 would go 5d64ea5af3 in Chowa-ri 7078d9445f was home, f7793fdba9 the man 11f9c9532e still bothered abf4564254 to ask. I thought he 53f5aa816f would say goodbye, 9d6e2c7ab2 but the man e82e3ce0f5 dragged out the 9ea02acd65 time with a 801c8e3df6 lukewarm gaze. Having progressed b8c647d86d from fist-chopsticks, b8f8ea9b1e he continued 5b11309b70 to try 58908eb7ff to pick 2dac8c4893 up the 9590153d65 bracken. I confess that my 62718533b2 heart was filled with 54f2627cf8 joy as I watched d944fed1a6 him. A smile 6998775284 filled me 6cbf8b78cb at the cf562a9617 thought that 2df4672451 I would 6f31a06d3e sleep well.c593ae188b6746b9

“Yang Ji-eon.”d0e626b017228b2c

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I wanted to ea8b6f23fe stop flinching every f42188cc55 time the man d7351343f2 called my full baf581359b name, but I ba64a0195b instinctively startled. Without showing 01c9e8b6a1 any personal 602ad62d87 dissatisfaction, I 55744bd722 answered brightly.eb685d35316e6dc0

“Yes?”0f4276e7cac5a1e1

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“Teach me how to study.”098d6a290900896d

“…Sorry?”16548906114e5b27

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“I need to graduate high school because of work. It’s hard on my own.”a02d0a5018a0079a

The man, revealing his circumstances in a calm tone, now looked me in the eyes for a long time. His proposal, brought about by a single pair of chopsticks, was quite unconventional. I, who had intended to end our meeting today, couldn’t readily speak.c0c8080d0d80d401

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A person trying to study with determination, a person isolated in the neighborhood—my thoughts went that far, and just as I was about to utter words of permission, my aunt’s angry face came to mind.1048abd4fc7fa924

“I don’t think I can. I’m busy.”90501892c7603e0d

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If I were d6e08a1dc6 to be caught ec5cc4f024 playing alone with 2ff5366966 the man, it 374ea020e9 would be a 4bcba4d6ac death sentence. The man, who I ec93095cd2 thought would show at ea927f7855 least a little disappointment, a1576083bc nodded as if it cb40238f5b were a natural result.3a104ab54391089e

“Yeah, okay.”59b2d124aaac9da0

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For the last 1f705d7414 night of me df7289bf66 and the man, 964099a5df it was somehow 7a31185c56 a bland ending.4ea17ea7463bca5d