UBC Ch4

In my nineteen years without Eui-joo, life tasted like unsauced acorn jelly. The ingredients were excellent, but the flavor was bland, missing the key element. Chowa-ri forgot Eui-joo as easily as boiling instant curry. Perhaps because he was an unremarkable presence at school and in the neighborhood, most people barely remembered him, only recalling the news that he had died of disease of the lungs. The village, extremely wary of outsiders, would bristle and watch any unfamiliar car that entered. Eui-joo’s house, which had been like a thorn in the side of such a village, grew more desolate with each passing day. Eui-joo’s bicycle was gone, stolen, and the pots and other belongings were neatly cleared away. The ominous rumors that lights were on every dawn sealed its status as the neighborhood’s official abandoned house.d6a11222a78774a8803e

As a model student, my spring and summer of nineteen were consumed by preparing for the college entrance exam. Special tutoring was arranged to make up for the time I had wasted grieving Eui-joo’s death. My mother, the only person in the neighborhood who knew of my friendship with Eui-joo, had forced it upon me. My mother seemed to firmly believe that Eui-joo and I were only acquaintances. “Men are wolves, so don’t get close to them,” she always said, and she hadn’t liked the sickly Eui-joo. Perhaps she couldn’t bear to see her daughter soaking her pillow with tears over Eui-joo’s death. My mother’s distraction operation began. It was her tutoring offensive, my aunt’s allowance ploy. Unfortunately, the effect was minimal. I still felt depressed whenever I saw the river or a skinny male student.525c9b83f0a36dfc7d43

My last, timid wish was now only this: that the lives of the male students who had tormented the ailing Eui-joo would not be easy. If Eui-joo occasionally had bruises, it was almost certainly their doing. I should have told his good-for-nothing brother, I regretted every night.10f3589495165568a58d

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The funeral on a winter night felt like only yesterday, but before I knew it, I had finished the first semester of my junior year and entered summer vacation. On summer days with a cool breeze on the way home, studying was no fun. Eating cubed watermelon in front of the fan was my only joy. When solving problems became tedious, I would ride my bicycle out at night to meet my mother. On days when she worked late at a side job and didn’t get off until nearly midnight, I would go to Eui-joo’s house for no particular reason. Seeing the peeling blue gate, it felt like Eui-joo would come to pick up a container of side dishes tomorrow.f31aee5852c6e2e8026b

That day was one of those days. My mother, who lived for the joy of accumulating savings, had gone to work at a friend’s factory, and I, having finished the closing ceremony for the vacation, was riding my bicycle around the village to soothe the summer heat.6e58c756bd985187ff1c

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In the past, I had been thrilled, talking about what I would do when I became an adult, where I would go, what I would eat. But tearing off the July calendar and passing the halfway point of the year made me feel restless. All the adults I knew said that now was the best time. Indeed, it was nice not to have water bills, electricity bills, or workplace woes as themes in my life. It was nice to be able to grieve for a friend for nearly half a year. I was taking to heart my mother’s words that she wouldn’t have time to shed a single tear even if her husband died because she had to make a living.c4a6688917b0964afe41

Eui-joo’s absence had firmly sealed my lips. I had confided in Eui-joo with the innermost thoughts that I couldn’t tell my mother or my gossipy, prissy friends. Missing my friend, my confidante, my bicycle flowed in a familiar direction again. Past the mill owner’s tobacco field, past the narrow alley without paved roads, past the house of Mrs. Mi-jeong, the poorest in the village, into the secluded alley where the rumored house stood.41739984b16fd38263d2

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“Oh.”98bb79059d4e8dabda3c

The bicycle wheel, spinning idly with a squeak, stopped. Unable to believe the sight, I unconsciously let go of the bicycle handlebars. Firefly ghosts must have possessed Eui-joo’s house, which had been kept dark all day to save on electricity bills.ac3a9971fd94e1f98f77

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Woof, woof, I heard a dog barking. Before I could even process it, the light on the main room porch came on. Had Eui-joo’s brother sold the house? But who would buy an abandoned house in a remote village? If someone had bought it, if a moving truck had come, it would have been caught on the radar of the village elders long ago.17df923791be08fd3590

I entertained the thought that Eui-joo had actually run away instead of dying. That she was sick of living, that I was the only person she knew, that she had run away because she wanted to see her brother who had gone to work. But as I pushed the gate open with the front of my bicycle, the ankle of hope was sprained. The smell of cigarettes, the exclusive property of adults, lingered in the yard. The owner of the cigarette smoke permeating my nostrils was nearby.c4862c4da48bb0bcc980

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That uninvited guest was sitting on the main room porch that Eui-joo had swept and wiped with a dry cloth every evening. He was a man who didn’t even seem surprised to see me suddenly appear in the yard. That unchanging expression was not unfamiliar. The way he nonchalantly put out his cigarette, as if he had seen a stray pigeon, was very natural.67e7c6afa893acdebaee

“Hello.”04f9e9b6662867589c8e

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It was Eui-joo’s brother, Kang Eui-tae. Unlike before, when he seemed to have injured his face and arms, he looked much better. He seemed to have lost weight, perhaps because he had no appetite in the summer. It was quite a sight to see him lying with the fan cord, which was connected to the room, under his leg. Especially that indifferent expression made my stomach churn. The man in the dark brown t-shirt was lying uncomfortably.57cf9e8406e8db8bc4a6

I thought I had come to the wrong place and was about to step back. Before I could even open the gate again, the man’s cold question came.e3208141a5448b2cc98c

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“What was your name again?”c3b76f209f73c18b9c5d

The man, who had only watched as people came and went, asked that. Having failed to escape, I turned the bicycle I was pulling back around and looked back. The man was fiddling with a lighter in one hand. I swallowed hard and brought the bicycle completely into the yard.3865b7133c5552e8ce25

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“Oh, um, Yang Ji-eon.”ba2f9186dfa09726b2ed

“Right, Yang Ji-eon.”fbf02f43d78c54e58438

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I bowed my head, signaling that our business was over, and lifted the bicycle. But a day that had gone terribly wrong was not going to let me go easily.38bc7afb74aeaa4705cb

“Ji-eon.”eee23c2c0813bdcf9c66

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The bicycle fell with a thud at the friendly call, without him budging. The wheel of the bicycle, which had fallen with a rough sound, was spinning freely as if the chain had broken. Even as I was flusteredly picking up the bicycle, the man’s voice rang out clearly.937dcf8910c75f1552f1

“Bring me some side dishes.”3b4d508c8f90e5709410

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“Sorry?”c71000a6877cf92ede32

“There’s nothing here. Or if there is, it’s all rotten.”9dca38815c7e0338fe5b

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“Is that… so?”255943b65c4948b734bc

“Bring me side dishes as a housewarming gift. Oh, and if you have any rice, just a bowl.”fe232fb3092a6d658e3d

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I was so flustered that my mouth dropped open. It wasn’t difficult to bring side dishes, but I had no personal connection with Eui-joo’s brother in the first place. The man’s eyes, rolling sideways like a calculator, were detestable. He wore something like a smile on his lips. The man puffed out one of his cheeks with his tongue and made a very bad suggestion.bd3d13940a460090c643

“Isn’t the room on the left Eui-joo’s room? There were some letters he wrote to you.”2175ad4bcf207a14e2d1

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“Sorry?”0ce0aa7198f9dfd33e62

“Don’t you want to read them?”59b5b1d796f9c09ba3ea

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Even without such a temptation, I probably would have brought side dishes to the man. I knew better than anyone that there was nothing in Eui-joo’s house. How could I not know the state of the refrigerator when I had brought so many side dishes to Eui-joo? But the man’s brazen attitude awakened the rebellious spirit within me.199102129e501a37bc88

“If you don’t want to…”05fd79b9604797d5b9d5

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Contrary to my heart, a smile that was somehow more sly than the last one hung on his lips at my timid reply.e8f019a5d222c1c17007

“I’ll have to bother you.”0eb7639bc218f18a1b0a

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“Sorry?”006483d0ee9acb8d57ca

My legs, which could only say “sorry?” like a fool, were moving out of the gate. When I pulled hard on the bicycle wheel caught on the gate sill, it rattled and rotated on its own. I got on the bicycle, thinking only of the man’s words to bring side dishes. The bicycle, which had been swaying at the start, gained speed as it left the alley.874143462755fe2f2072

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I should have gone home and opened my workbook, but instead, I packed side dishes like someone fleeing. I put pickled cucumbers, stir-fried zucchini, braised beef, and other items into my yellow schoolbag and zipped it up. I was curious, scared, and wanted to find out about Eui-joo in connection with the man, who had nothing in common with Eui-joo. It was an inquisitiveness I had never felt towards the townspeople, my mother, or my aunt, who had treated Eui-joo like a burden. Perhaps my patience, which had been swallowing words of condolence only to myself, had finally run out.03e89bff572654e1d1b3

Someone who could discuss memories of Eui-joo had moved to Chowa-ri. I closed the refrigerator, not knowing whether this was joy, sadness, or simple curiosity.0b3d777e9b7711fb544b

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As the man had requested, I also scooped rice and put it in a new side dish container. The heavy bag strap pressing down on my shoulder couldn’t stop my excited footsteps. Right now, I felt like I was crossing the line and finding freedom, just like when I went to give side dishes to Eui-joo. I must be lonely.7ae70852d25abedfc74e

From another point of view, it meant that I had something to do besides aimlessly wandering around the neighborhood. Every time I stepped on the pedals with force, the side dish containers in my schoolbag clattered and clanked.a37bdea8fbf770ef1ff4

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Perhaps my real summer vacation was starting now.66962582872612ebaaa6