UBC Ch20

People generally said that the GED was much easier than the university entrance exam. But that didn’t mean you could just take the test without studying at all. I sincerely hoped that the path this man, who had unwillingly gone through the gateway of dropping out of school, was now challenging again, wouldn’t be a thorny one.109b06e6a2bd71d7

I genuinely, without a shred of pretense, cheered for the man’s new beginning. It was a little different from the way I cheered for Eui-joo’s life. Eui-joo seemed like he could take care of himself. He had a dream of living with his brother, and he was steadfast and strong, not like a sick child. The worries I had for the man were not the same worries I had for Eui-joo.20d2aba058049847

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I worried about how lonely, how sad, how tormented the man might be. Ironically, the man’s sadness, who didn’t shed a single tear, felt more genuine than my aunt’s loneliness, who constantly complained about her misfortunes in front of me.6ba272c35a4a1823

It would have been easier for me to define him as something living in a different world from mine, like others did. But I had entered the man’s world. I opened the blue gate, sat on the wooden porch, and ate with him. To me, the man was no longer some unidentifiable thug.c2e3e34071a0e9b0

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He was Eui-joo’s brother, he liked math, he wasn’t picky about food, and he seemed to be doing harder work than I thought. His personality was easygoing itself, but his quirky way of thinking sometimes bewildered and amused me. That was Kang Eui-tae.c739c259665b7f4b

And recently, a new symptom had been added to the man. I hadn’t been aware of it, but once I recognized it, it kept bothering me. For example, it was what happened just yesterday. With the start of school just around the corner, I made plans to meet friends downtown. Because of an unexpected schedule, the test with the man was postponed by a day.5848c8a8efc4198e

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I didn’t know whether the man would exceed the average score we had set or not, but the next day, I grabbed the promised bicycle and left the house. But instead of the old, used bicycle I usually rode, I chose the new bicycle my aunt had given me.b01ffa2e38d96739

Even if she said that, it didn’t seem polite to give someone something that others had used to their heart’s content as a gift. Anyway, I liked the old bicycle, and my aunt’s bicycle was too big and burdensome. My mom probably wouldn’t even notice the bicycle was gone, and I would tell my aunt that I was more comfortable with the old bicycle.45c68e570bb7d60c

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To be more honest, I wanted to see the man’s eyes widen in surprise when he received the new bicycle. The reason I chose that bicycle with the clean seat instead of the old one was that embarrassing.ef726412e4b22b21

“I’m here.”3a6ac761d8db4b4f

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On the man’s dining table, where he was preparing for the test, books were piled up in a Leaning Tower of Pisa shape. The man barely took his eyes off the books and looked at me, a shy smile spreading across his face.2501a049bb526c3a

“You’re here?”7674b42d0a4541ef

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Now I could read the man’s expression without misinterpreting it. After his expression, the man’s shorter hair came into view. Noticing my gaze, the man self-consciously swept his hair back with his hand.c70b70fca1abfc38

“Does it look weird?”5d3c7ef55078011d

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“…No.”d01c59a329b91f34

The whole story was like this. I told him that I couldn’t come because of my plans with my friends, and because I was taking a day off from studying, I couldn’t easily end the conversation with him out of guilt. It was only recently that our conversation, which had been just a word or two, had become as friendly as friends. I felt inexplicably comfortable with him. I guess I liked his indifferent expression, his reaction that seemed free of the world’s prejudices.bc9894c6a5730bb4

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“When did you get your hair cut?”7dd622abd07467a4

“Why?”73dbf1311a7548f3

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He asked back as f3e49be941 if he was genuinely a5c529549a curious, so I shrugged d36e1b25bd and answered.56de88dff891abd1

“Don’t guys get their hair cut often? It seems a lot longer than when I first saw you.”6c268d8fb77f9543

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I didn’t know enough to discuss the man’s hair like that. I didn’t really have anything to say, but the first thing I saw was the length of the man’s hair. With our mock test just a day away, the man must have been busy just studying.ec9894e383664e60

And I realized.c7123eb8f3fe877a

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“It’ll just get longer if I leave it alone anyway.”0064407207971d7d

For the afccaabbb0 past few 915e40967b days, the a8e0008f45 man had 86f2984e84 been listening 0a6f8188d2 to my 65135d5f62 words so dd75402cca intently that 166ccf041d it was f1513c1553 almost blind 1a0e896808 faith. Whether it was e220b09bb1 a casual remark 9c893cefa3 or a flattering 7eb41313a3 compliment, I confirmed faaca61248 in that way 239ee8b35a that my influence 3116ab8204 on the man 1e6db938dc had grown.0c4385b366feb911

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Standing in 504a2605a0 front of 5c3a76962d the gate, 73dc9c8b09 I watched 6e105d47a5 the man 322dd8303c immerse himself 90f2046c2a in studying b43c1da614 again and ea4b891723 felt a fe91fbc5ec bit curious. I also needed 898b3de22f to be sure 8355b10c46 if what I fb224830af thought was right. It was just a d03280175a test born out of 0f08cef721 pure curiosity.2119f66ea61aeddc

“Hey.”50285fe5d22a605e

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Even though I called out in a smaller voice than usual because I was timid, the man’s reaction was lightning fast. I was helplessly captured by his gaze, which was more intense than the summer sun. My palms were sweating in my clenched fists because I was nervous.6ef8f080c16d6190

“Do you want to catch freshwater snails in the river?”eba7abac6c6320ee

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It must have been 11dce24299 a bolt out of d35007e454 the blue for the 620f8eae82 man. The man af608dca43 was the 4c04040de1 type of 56c14f6cfc person who f08551bdaf preferred to 5a6a29d38f lie down e0965d3f6b comfortably rather 1641be6866 than go 06177e0d46 to the d01d43a26f trouble of 504a3b108a catching freshwater f3c1f424df snails. Because he would close 88b5697149 his door and take cb6df89685 a nap after his 34e7327b4e study time was over.68f067ba94b941ea

So this was just a test. A test that couldn’t be passed.9e2069409b529b0c

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“Okay.”0b8eeb5e406726f0

But the man gave 5362f14c6c a positive answer. Without adding any questions. Flustered, I took off 8f2db4113f my shoes and jumped 19b2746cc9 onto the wooden floor.5486bd08b506dd63

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“Have you ever caught freshwater snails before?”d89be3ed02721f0e

“Eui-joo taught me.”46c1d073fd2813aa

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“When did you meet him?”5bf7aaf1c9d16a02

“On the phone.”9ceab970896c1458

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As he said that, the man’s eyes didn’t leave the black, earthworm-like print. He turned the book towards me and pointed to a part that had been marked with a red pen.fc13d04427eeeac9

“I don’t understand this part. Explain it.”3afe6e2ec1d68fcc

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The man, who bc21864c1f had a strong 481476c665 desire to explore, cd8e6d93c2 was unknowingly biting 44b6b1c4d8 the end of a373fc91ef his pen. His bruised cheek and 25da3e5931 innocent eyes were not 30d2735a87 in harmony. But with 121b1eea8c my head f9039cffc8 full of a980f2fb38 freshwater snails, 5209feb26b I asked a87f7d0752 a quirky 21675e2b79 question like 139b6558f5 the man.4b247421101db984

“We’re not going to eat freshwater snails, we’re going to catch them.”14760649af66fee9

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“I know. That’s what you said.”c855fd50e55f6710

“You’ve never caught freshwater snails before. It’s really annoying.”35b7c581e32d8540

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Then the man exceeded my expectations and gave a soft smile. This was it. The man’s expression was sending me signals, little by little.f56dbfc59a818d68

“Don’t go if you don’t want to catch them.”d49a92ff2525ca77

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I had become an important person to him. At the end of the summer vacation, I did something with the man that I hadn’t even done with Eui-joo. He granted my requests like an obedient puppy or a caring older brother.d8d3378ff0abb1d2

“When is the test?”7f3adf93c80bca0a

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“…Now.”f050bad9b7e8a422

Coming to my senses, f7b29c1864 I opened my bag 0261561ca9 and took out the f552a37eb5 test papers I had a9e0108be6 printed in advance.32819068cfd6fc5d

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“I’ll come out when you’re done.”aa98f0a01c8e7954

I put the test papers on the dining table and gave him space. Where else could I go in a one-room house? The man was engrossed in the problems at a frightening speed. Meanwhile, I, who had taken over the man’s room, sat blankly in one corner of the room where the folded blankets were placed. 59db98030e89c93d

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I took bb21dcfeac out a efc05c3a84 book from f628b8ea14 my bag, 394bb5c168 but my 6475044a4d eyes were 9eb2d01d11 busily scanning 29bf73f5c1 the room. When the man was e56864aa05 struggling between life and 8ab7f7071f death, I barely had d0077a3389 time to look around fdad3b730e when I was frantically 8423177115 taking care of him.749f808c1abb83a6

The luggage was still in the same place, the blankets were in the same place, and the structure with only one drawer hadn’t changed, but there was one thing that was different. Eui-joo’s belongings were displayed on top of the TV. It was an old photo. A childhood photo of Eui-joo with poor image quality, and Eui-joo’s student ID were in the frame together.8f25e5274848b153

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It was the only thing he had kept without throwing it away. It seemed like the man had finally accepted Eui-joo’s death, and I watched it without realizing how much time had passed. This part resembles his brother, this part doesn’t resemble his brother, I compared them.24d88c021f9badbb

And the time for grading approached. I left the room, giving him some space. I caught a glimpse of the man’s shyness, who had left only the test papers on the table and left. Looking around, I saw gray smoke billowing over the wall, and I saw the man’s back.8528b0f5b8e82bcc

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“I finished it all!”b95fe4727dd17b07

The man used 13401100b2 his tall height 7d1dae2e66 to wave his 5e188bd998 hand over the 0ae134811e wall. I chuckled and sat f77c6a16c9 down to start grading. He got 1b082e0bd8 90 points aefad8db97 in math. He got exactly 0dee707e9c the average score d18c201591 in Korean, and c42762bd05 he did better 5995019ec5 than average in e51dbb9cc5 the other subjects. At this rate, he 4949c1070d would pass the GED 0b217d5d59 without any problems. I just 7374bf2d62 regretted that 15a11a9202 the man eef75b4eee had decided 46fdb3eaa7 to postpone 9f096a2ed7 the test 5ba0012684 registration. If he had 96b7f8ca3b done well, he a92d5c7ba9 could have taken 3f378d06a5 it and finished 2c55fe9708 it in August 0393cca33a of this year.a60102fd7be5e37d

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The man, who 391a4742a9 exhaled a long aeaa85a3c0 stream of smoke 73f0bde07b as if he 8640a8adf3 was nervous, turned ab670ad052 his head only f03d82e542 after hearing my bdb34abf45 laughter. The same emotions arose 152d3c7521 in our eyes that fb0f65b69f met over the wall. Expectation, excitement.5fec0ee7da2f1939

“You can have that bicycle now, oppa.”942f08ba7aa78cd7

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At first, the man’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe it, but soon he showed a soft smile. The way he smiled with the corners of his lips raised suited the theme of summer. It was overwhelmingly refreshing.cf9742e71b88b55f

The man gave 94bbeadd60 a naive smile 184f1b2fa9 that was fitting 05751ef4cc for his age a36030b10b of twenty.70285aeffb5eb681

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“Ji-eon.”c64ba215eb4dc1a6

I liked the man 92de6b6aa2 calling my name without ccff63e5d0 the last name.3025b3c057f31c52

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“But I don’t know how to ride it.”feafabb65d948771

The man, who 9459eb56ba was clumsy with e54e0d9298 chopsticks, had never 524fbc62f0 learned how to a2e6652a68 ride a bicycle. It makes sense that 4e7f775ef1 it would be difficult cb23e6de4d to ride a bicycle 0538bcc23a if there was no 4cdba7e31d adult to teach him.27344c2ecac261ad

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So there was one ecbff8b743 more thing I could c68df7d693 teach the man. Catching freshwater 66a52d0aae snails was f99f6dd866 postponed to fe1644e083 the next 46139e35f4 time.6f73581f336c261c

“I’ll teach you.”4acdd78af896a18b

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We had a next 6735a0c26c time.2347cca4335c3369