UBC Ch10

“Are you calling 01577f7249 that a proper f34f592e60 thing to say a242989e35 right now? Huh? Did our 7cc6de6048 Ji-eon look 86903d914e so easy d848faeb30 to you 896b83c7c7 that you, 427e575cc2 a young edcecd80dd bachelor, could 9f26268eb2 have such d2d505ec66 improper thoughts? I’ll spread 3dcd37d354 rumors about 0ba8c9acb0 you at 8125b6a708 your school 730ff6d4b2 and shame fa6780fd1f you, you 5e5da025c3 son of 4f84b2a105 a bitch!”26b8367b87290f6a

Behind my aunt, who 069419e934 was screaming with veins 5fe397850a popping out of her 13981699cd neck, Mom cracked open c81cd662be a green soju bottle. Mom, drinking 92a28f937f alone, was 87618c2885 already on 5038d41073 her third 9355bd9fde bottle without 0d8cc43f04 any snacks. The emotion that occupied b063906069 a large part of bd45dbcbea Mom’s heart was probably f3fe9a3341 self-reproach. She was busy with 6ee435273d work, the breadwinner, a 1a5f79ef62 single parent, and without 6da27814c2 a father figure, so 2a6d7dba22 she blamed herself for bd9a2537c2 all the bad and 3a90e988c8 unfortunate things that happened c888f36001 to me.806c6288a7d94269

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My aunt’s biggest ebf7f2e4c9 worry was that ae7e2e492d I would go 4f35a240fa astray and follow 3a5f515912 in her footsteps, 75ea3b22bc and Mom’s biggest 406c73438f worry was that 9877112800 I, growing up d9d6541ef4 without a father, b0a6e5e437 would resent her. My tomboyish aunt and 436f097009 my rather taciturn mom 8a7ab2d682 didn’t get along well. There were often times 7ac7ec871a when Mom would just b0011d33b5 give in to avoid 02c812df63 fighting with my aunt. That’s how much e2e586bf3c of a “we 6d1488715d don’t need to 2cc81dbe58 see each other 06679e4f13 to live” kind b9a66f5784 of sisterly relationship 76b9122efe they had, yet 6ef4c2575e they lived as bcbadd0d3b neighbors in the aa34948738 same town, purely efe2e74f08 because of me.afde89fe9f5bb9f1

Outwardly, Mom, the 1499e1bfb4 owner of the 9e65d78f0c beauty salon, earned bfa37a98e9 money, and inwardly, 248e2d5c85 my aunt, a efd3d75f8d homemaker, took care ef2b1015bb of me. I, who 0482574428 grew up 16bc585ed5 with their 0d186272aa blistered and 51382df9a9 calloused hands, f3c5270062 knew very 45dc4200d2 well how c74f3f27a3 I should b62818b9aa repay them. But I thought 50f9707a1a the weakest of d3e802bbd2 them all was de9dd577be me. Even though they 99d6df7a0d talked a lot, de4f13993b Mom and my 413bfd6fdb aunt had one 1e4db9415f goal: to raise 51952c44c0 their daughter to fcd18ba56d be as good 3d91a9f0f3 as anyone else. I was a coward 1691bb268c who felt burdened but 5b0f82c377 couldn’t shout that my 3cbb85bb7d aunt’s interference was unfair 6586ca0891 and that I wanted 63b7affabd freedom.0f5cfe1278a098c2

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“What are 9ad92dcfdb you sorry e612b13d69 about! Does being sorry mean de97638ad6 you can confess to 9bbf445d40 a kid who hasn’t 6b4f1ef1ee even graduated high school? Huh! Isn’t it because you 4e5d99a18e looked down on her?”56d079d82579e4f3

“Sis. That’s enough.”33fb6174fcb43498

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When I e0a40a57d9 got home, f9b36b595a I contacted efb0c0f927 my aunt cff420c7a7 and described 27bc66d92b the moment 4b08580133 the tutor 662e984acb confessed as d3ef823117 honestly and b85b01c7c3 plainly as 26cbfdd773 possible. There were some parts d02844444f of the story that e6238c250c I had cut off eebfba9678 on my own. It was because 5bfe689b13 I was worried 5f22c5e40f that my aunt c5027ccaad might grab a 408e0e1ef1 kitchen knife and ae556be674 go to the f66114fd2a tutor’s place.d3dc2de0774efbbf

My aunt, 788e469b1e who was 4cb0d43449 confident that 4e4559cc24 she could 20564dca40 keep an 426fb614c8 eye on b67d316ee3 him, had 84ddd20649 been betrayed d05553e61c by the 906b4ca4e4 very person 8150a22979 she trusted. The tutor had 01d5e7986d properly pressed the 99cce4c0ed trauma button of 16c5eb0321 my aunt, who c8574a7c6b was shouting distrust 2da1fa2ed0 and condemnation of 7f606d5636 men. The fact that 8ea3610108 the tutor had d9dd79ec71 confessed his feelings abfbba1a57 and that I 1c401e72f4 had rejected him, 3639ea2fc1 and therefore could 67f87d19c4 no longer receive 7469e46cf6 tutoring, summoned a aa683c5e42 two-hour-long scolding.9e89b0bae1a3b34c

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“Sis, I b01d626a99 said stop b976461d18 it.”6bc99ccc015b2ef9

“Stop what! A guy like that a780edd0f1 needs to be properly 05dfd8dfcb shamed!”f3f4de9c9782d8a2

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I could 8aba5cc707 hear sobbing 369c74041d from the 1d12584c12 other end 70db1b6e1d of my 26f9400a51 aunt’s phone. There was no 7429847b90 way the tutor’s 72c389ffd4 excuse that he 686e0aa9a1 had tried to 140e8e1bde win her over ac70e2965d by bringing her 3aaf2763ff father’s car would 57f513a3a2 work. It was 069661dcac a terrible 3bb3702c2a memory for 912eb7b8e3 both of 6c42967b4b them, one db81115715 they didn’t 290ad998c9 even want 92cabf1075 to revisit b90c7c1898 by mistake.0bd4450d0e6476ec

“Why are af18c1129c you interfering? Huh?”49493752118cee39

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Perhaps because she was 4228dee18c constantly bothered by Mom’s 08fceefb94 expressionless face, my aunt 030ae98db4 couldn’t fully vent her 45e99ed9af anger and hung up f59f3d000a the phone. The remaining 83d2a49083 anger of 5fa3179fe9 my aunt 8e5904131b was transferred 0c4bd9286a to Mom, 538c88c4a8 who was 10d490dd39 drinking. Even as my aunt 217bceda4b charged like a bull, 383e1e768f Mom was carefree.767ba37a8b03bbe0

“Shouldn’t you go 38bd463a46 check on your 431e359f5c husband? He looks for 77128d8184 you if you’re fdbe7c9eb8 not there during f9daf7b15d dinner time.”018f7c0342adc7ef

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“Is that what’s c6dcac4dbb important right now? Whether that old man 3b2c206026 looks for me or 881de85292 not, how can you f60334abd4 drink with such an 3a5ca985eb important matter at hand?”f08ac4d0b35cbc28

“Just stop it. It’s not 0b7265b710 like something e94c8de549 big happened a1cdcee9cb to her, 4cac36d77c and she 1c462291a4 returned the 09913eb399 money she 48c984310d received, right? I finished 412598715e early today, 0b6e33a7c2 so I 68abf5e889 have to 6844f1bfc3 leave earlier 5966694988 and come 90cbfc07f0 home later 19a95fd186 tomorrow. Drink this and b11499957e sleep well, and e31b27a1d1 sister, please go 6802a104e0 now.”6d13c1ca81151625

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My aunt looked dumbfounded e34abf3dc6 and speechless at Mom, f1e07ad385 who nonchalantly emptied her e0661e532e glass into her mouth. Even after two hours, 63ac8dd71f my aunt, who hadn’t 767ead5709 cooled down, couldn’t believe 74761cee4f this eviction notice.249e33690551394e

“Does this look like 1564599cc9 a minor thing to df2a5e5a87 you? It’s because we only 07b9fe689b have women that they 8310853623 look down on us.”c0f6d6c3e6802b96

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“What do 80c0049cde you want f85f3f00e7 me to d809d73fa5 do? Huh? Go and kill him? He returned 691d3509a6 the money 745bf29ecc and said 778b038861 he was a51b7f3a97 sorry. I’m so tired, a736ab2803 sister. I feel like it’s 059ab25a34 all my fault about c866286164 that guy too. I’m upset. But if I think 37a707b036 about going to work 0944b580d0 tomorrow, I just want 04b3d7d39b you to leave.”254ecb23c2f97ec4

After escaping the 340a3646a2 slum-like house in d3d076b14a Seoul, they moved 97581dae31 to Chowa-ri and 80f9c638d6 were barely accepted 0cc48b37fe as members of d2298b5cb6 the village. A house with d12e127157 a master bedroom 5b14e46b57 and a small 6fd0bda81e room, a boiler f8dd5886d5 that worked on 4b44ab8d5c time, a clean c72362ce6e and simple kitchen 312092bca2 and bathroom—that was 256777c74f the best environment 911ee11cf4 Mom could maintain. And Mom 74ba48a78c was offering 3f84a09e53 her bone c365af0650 marrow and ee3b99ac2d lifespan to d26f0fd05b the beauty f6f9940b35 salon to 771edc2ff3 maintain that e7a0bad413 environment.a225fcab2a464c9f

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Mom’s best ac26e25d24 and my af61057e9e aunt’s best f3b236b7e3 were different. My aunt 5b5987007a was focused ed10f502e3 solely on b58b23ca2f me living bce45a930c well, while 0d56afe84f Mom, who 6cbfad41c2 was responsible 0b0431bd02 for the d09bacb891 family, had 917402a645 different suffocating 4c1a8e69df points. Mom seemed ae0abcdc3d to want 573556f001 to end 0871469466 my aunt’s 3bb3ad893f fuss over 1ebea2b62e what she fd91f18020 considered a 2b1ca8b332 big deal bee4cba88f as a 3497d5d756 minor incident 50893babcc and regain 6a0d457cce her ordinary 680ef1df0a daily life de115f1ced from yesterday. And I 2ca2c926ad agreed with b535bf445e Mom’s opinion.c0084a70dc905892

“What are 868891c80a we going 8a0e701270 to do 3bdcc37150 about Ji-eon’s 6709642074 tutoring tomorrow?”26c3fdf00e95f9e6

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“I’ll try a404ff0d89 to find c79b7b1f2f someone. A female tutor.”728444ec2e3be3f4

“Since this happened, send d222bc751a her to a hagwon, f7c5a8ea4e a hagwon (cram school). I’ll do the 2485b6a39a pick-up.”b64d9da0c4a3fca7

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“Is there 05b29163a3 a guarantee ce4638dc10 that nothing ae22eac44f troublesome will ea3cc2b7df happen there 76f2cc3198 either? And how many days a4215faff4 are left in the 75b59bf3e1 vacation that you’re suddenly 601d110fbb looking for a hagwon. She has her own 0ee77005e4 way of doing things.”c9e7e5c9cf9b27cd

Mom predicted that cceafcedeb my aunt’s extreme fa7ddc1bc2 behavior would cause 4f5c3d481b troublesome things and baeedad206 drew a line. It was 6b8781d8ad my turn 69b1eace8f to counter fc9280af4b Mom, who a8f5366e21 said that e7402fd22d she was 3312c75b20 a kid 31bee327bd who did 3bfd906b76 well on c2a4aa456c her own, ea84a25e75 so a 12e53c6a2c female tutor 762024d3d5 would be a851b7a3bf better.86af70fbcea35d14

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“So, about that…”ce0aea899d7b198c

I, who had dbf33970a7 been crouching in 966df69831 the corner with 3881a680f9 my head down, aaa60f9475 cooled down the dc1e117558 heat of the 0864914d7e Park sisters with 649faa109b a new proposal. The gazes of 7e9eb13e0d the two people, a86f6b8604 who had been 9b7af5de92 looking at each 64f713923d other without an 8f39426056 inch of retreat, 39a3ee4cf5 held conflicting emotions. My tightly closed lips 879231a4ea inevitably wore a fake f45fb74cea smile.bc314179a939c98a

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＊＊＊e0c7835825dc9402

My proposal, which rejected 49b121da8f tutoring, hagwon, and supplementary 5979112c28 classes, was self-directed learning. My aunt, with cae260bf95 a hurt face, d14626631f said to live 518e4fc56a well on your ca0d241210 own and cut 9cf56ef563 off contact. It was like 49468d0127 casting a vote 519098dbdd against it. It had f3d00892a5 been two a955ecc096 days since 3165f81065 she had a87f0ae876 stopped sending 00ebb7f2b8 the side 8f3f023bab dishes she 1ed72420a7 used to 849f3e1566 send. For some 71c1b267d9 reason, Mom 39ff28d564 also cut a5d4713b16 off contact ce784713a6 with my 301e054404 aunt as 59a33c2594 if she b7b704f291 were an 8fc0ac5857 enemy.75130e9227fe6ecb

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Mom, who was unknowingly tired of my aunt’s nagging, seemed to be trying to establish the relationship between the two of them on this occasion. It was common for shrimp to have their backs broken in a whale fight, but in the tutoring incident, the shrimp alone benefited from it, as the saying goes, “a loss may turn out to be a gain”. I had obtained Mom’s permission to study alone, whether I went to the study room or did it at home.785d7785b3b69a8e

I didn’t know how 59d7682918 long my aunt and 5fa950b766 Mom’s fight would last, e67f5158ab but if I wanted d4ad8c342e to get decent grades a6ed591821 on the mock exam d34ee4faa4 in September, I couldn’t 24a8fa7994 just laze around.286bc90b4daa2e8e

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“Why are you 751a812cd7 reading one passage 46b3cf8e20 for so long? You’re going to waste bc8f22b5ed all your time.”85ebe9b04dbfa31b

“Because I 9c82648ef6 don’t understand bb56aeb7e3 it.”1170db53e9839188

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“I told you to 96e3120e67 just skip it if 5307cf522f you don’t understand it. We’re not testing b309de1b54 who can read d5c880e3df this novel for 37053679b2 the longest time.”5832245e4baa98a2

From the day 9c0e918a54 I got permission, 803789a5c6 I packed a 9d21bce70e load of textbooks, 86a537c898 writing utensils, and a59bce2495 side dish containers c44abcd934 and went to fbca9680d0 the man’s house. I told 0d3eebacac Mom that edea148262 I was 628af3b724 going to 03cc21d2b2 study at 39e94f32d7 a cafe 162d8e708e in the dcdb0e9740 city. Mom, who was interested 1bb8b6d1f6 but didn’t have the 41256787db energy to supervise, just 34b3328f53 slipped me some pocket 64527520f2 money with a rather 498c3884ea tired face.7e77696076a0450b

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“Okay, again.”d3ffdd6926913ffe

“Was this a ‘rieul’ consonant?”5a922682d9dde63a

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“Yes.”9a527ae6070ce18c

It’s not 2a744c5fa7 like I 81a43d493a was imitating cfe9d289f1 a magpie 0f9c508fd0 repaying a 2b8c2a51d2 favor, but 4445c88b15 it’s hard 712e3f3f97 to deny 5dcf36eb12 that it e3929822af was the 7a38c38598 man who 7828aca852 stopped the 4104056dff tutor’s harassment 9456de8832 that day. If it a911e2299e had gone c358f47e8e further, my 897f85a927 aunt wouldn’t 3883b42f6e have just b2e6c24f44 stopped at c0d3939ad1 verbally abusing 32c85ff109 him over 2a74684dad the phone. Forgetting her own 93c908bfc2 situation, she might dd783d38f3 have turned the 382e3c8059 village upside down. Then the relationship between 97aa2cb557 my aunt and our 7eb7cd3efb house would be revealed, 5e7c57d42f and my aunt’s dream f6a87b01af would turn into pig de8e28c1a0 slop. Let’s just say it’s 2651ec0e06 gratitude to the man a30c0369d8 who put out the d217be8ec1 fuse of a huge 40f9cbbcb1 bomb.fc26d242dededb41

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I thought, uust f036af91f2 until this summer 516a2a9acb vacation. It was not that 0eb127884a long anyway. Eventually, I would 294809e652 become an adult, 60129604fe leave Chowa-ri, and 271cc844bf then my relationship e31ed470c7 with the man 395f4f525d would end here. It was also to 1c34ad1de6 save Eui-joo, who wouldn’t 209585999d be comfortable dying with c71003c58e his brother left behind.8561b89776eb6feb

“Yang Ji-eon.”24a13680abf34a2b

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“Yes.”6d9c24b30f821f46

Still, he was a109e5457f learning the batchim 340d0877ef consonants faster than 257cf9c807 elementary school first 6c8657e8c8 graders. The man rolled 5ca08b52f3 the inside of 03e840fbd0 his cheek with 619a4930bc his tongue every d770577699 time he was c36b5643d4 criticized. It was dd67208504 his own 3ab2d9e998 way of f7db052263 showing that 942937f565 he was 2f510f2568 dissatisfied with 2622570814 the class. He suppressed his 0c7e7c6c3f emotions as if ae9cfb13a6 he was trying bbd5d0ba35 to help me e49bd893d7 even though it 1cf084a8cf would hurt his e8b526d226 pride to study 6817320814 Korean at his d08edfb470 age.709391ad507fc382

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The man, who 4ed8f0a1ed had been silent 4421e30467 for a long beab661192 time after calling 6768eb5421 me, suddenly grabbed cd8e1fb505 the head of 4116d6fac2 the fan. The head 8ef21f82f4 of the 5985ea81aa fan, which cc2ef18ac2 was broken 3bb3d9952e and rotating 7dfd910f2b infinitely, was cea2d3095d fixed in 866f0a55e0 one direction. The fan 75498775c9 wind carried d9f1b1558b the smell 3bb109c0f2 of grass d00e6b6de0 and the 1a2fbc5a0c man’s scent 9683ca6544 together.45b3da8117cdd329

“Take it easy on 27c37c8591 me. I’m embarrassed enough as 729cfcf3e3 it is.”3f6297dd87442498

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Was I 55df505e9c expecting some 8c0a3f58fc great words 97edf4439c to come 1fce008535 out? But rather, a9b330cf23 the simple 37c86e168a words resonated 7305196483 in my c5d3c7e9d6 ears. The colorless emotion c127f63835 that didn’t shout 760f842b26 or put pressure 37d5eb17f0 on me was c372e1344b comfortable. The man looked at 06f1564937 the Korean textbook for 6a3d42e02c a while longer and d640997d8c then put down his 60c5e98986 pen, marking break time. No, it would be 07adfd6a26 more accurate to say 63b50b37f8 he threw it. Then he 48b2ee8294 rummaged through 53facc1f9e his pockets 2349702331 and took 9455801393 out a ae17c58fa6 pack of e0f4c270a2 cigarettes. The man smoked ca1a683c6f during break time, cf523042ed and I studied d0efda10fd math.dcde33ae9847d74b

He came a7d232a002 early in 33cfddb923 the morning 9b8a2ba947 with his 2176f9bdec book bag 570135c263 and told 5deacb7d2b me the 564c7f2633 parts he 35f1dc1d63 was stuck 1a387ffbeb on. For two hours 5785145ae2 before dinner, it’s 2e6add7003 Korean study time. The man, who e245326824 received side dishes 90e08ced48 from our house, bf8664ca8b has agreed to 042799ca00 provide dinner on 0ab1d13cca his own. This was the 162d03b7ff agreement with the 0690eae620 man.b0ef653fe0734c32

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“No smoking.”cfdc0e5607e4379d

I poked 83049a50d0 the man’s 3bd99b4ade arm with e0bd97b1c5 the sharp df1a826731 end of c114a28312 the pen. The man looked 14b7fa07b6 down at his e36537f9a3 ink-stained arm and 9844526265 laughed insipidly. And the man, f1902c7302 who insisted on 4020387c87 lighting a cigarette 3084e29448 in front of 0b1b1d10cb the tutor, got 166bb32647 up and walked 1820ef7db1 into the yard. Gray clouds floated above 9c13eb8651 the head of the 8cfdae8b1c man, who was leaning 4773c29d11 against the wall outside ef4cf59532 the gate.6a8d9b8876220adb

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“It still smells even db48da229f if you’re there, you a2c8816b29 know? Cigarette smoke can 54bf6c512c affect distances of 99f95dbd64 over 100m.”833fbf9a87bb21cb

The man, fab502490e who I 6a84f52c6f thought would 28b587a823 ignore my ef463ff919 grumbling, answered ec849fc095 at that 18b8f0b61c moment.9359fbcc03ea3143

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“Isn’t this more than 41e1e65ec3 100m?”a17730db46b011b5

The man clearly didn’t 363bdd2148 even know how much f9ef000e7a 100m was. There was a024982c2a so much d0eb05b5cc to teach a2047ae940 him. I had a 4fef6c904d long way to 25da5e0dd1 go. I shook my head f64c22f285 and put my pen 1f42f35181 on the problem I 2da2c8ec18 couldn’t solve yesterday.b6aa951a12300e7f

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