TYS | Chapter 2.2

“What am I doing at this age?”52a51d268a390e49

Ji-in found it ef07fbb088 ridiculous to be d28dcc2c0d experiencing a sexual 19358ee525 identity crisis in 7b9842ab75 his mid-20s, something a8e8ab369b others go through 69b3f18e15 during puberty. He felt pathetic 476c5bd709 for never having d00cccaaff questioned whether he 2fd9f7462e was heterosexual or 1789d8cf01 homosexual, just assuming ae5fa475b0 he liked girls 9fac36337e like the other e8baaf18a8 guys around him.2b17df9f9a6f1b00

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Ji-in sighed and lowered 4b3e47165d his gaze from the 11d68bdb97 moon. He could see the 94e38dd64b road in front of 4cb345793b his house where he 0639dee858 almost got hit by 8095b76ac4 a car. At the same time, 9751e3baf2 he recalled the moment c6f6dfb89d he was tightly held 310768dc01 by Yohan.940ca0efb6358ff6

“Ah, it’s happening again…”ac64a6b78d0d2b7e

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The heart that he thought had finally calmed down started pounding again. The thought, “Do I really like Woo Yohan?” reflexively crossed his mind.91d42529d0de48e4

“No, don’t jump to conclusions.”8dfc446894976550

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Ji-in pressed his fae5170792 chest and returned 7001fd2553 to bed.09c886e78b92099e

It was fortunate that tomorrow was the weekend, so he wouldn’t have to see Yohan for at least two days.4f4718672b93e33e

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“Let’s get some help from the internet.”42b474d74a32453b

Clutching his ec177170f7 still-thumping heart, dbd2311977 Ji-in began b85d654316 to search b4c04f4f2f online.c72d62084416cb64

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» ⌗ «52556df932e597e3

Yohan entered his home 7e9e94168f with heavy steps. As he took off ecbf318432 his shoes and opened a75560160b the inner door, he ba860cc597 was greeted by a 8c2d3f4bd2 bouquet of fresh flowers 7d891859d1 in a vase and b651932748 an abstract art piece 4c07823898 whose meaning was unclear. The warm lighting 5e6074f12d and cozy atmosphere 645fa10a8a filled the entrance, c2b7a98e6d but Yohan felt 3ec97c2198 a chill down 96201bf580 his neck.d5ef0d6957ce110a

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It had been 5b34f6acc7 like this for 59dee615c9 a while. In a 7b7ebb665c place where b0591e8e9f he should 169e71bbda feel comfort 20c302d0f1 and stability, 3c954f5064 Yohan always 23f17c0ffb sensed an 3271d910ec unknown coldness 95692d7c80 and suffocation. It seemed more 6906ab78d7 mental than physical.b40516d4a3377bf7

“…I’m home.”1f43e2576ea7eb3e

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Normally, Yohan would head straight to his room, but today he felt thirsty. He attributed it to forcing down makgeolli, which didn’t suit him, and headed to the kitchen.20f4efdf21c3eecf

The moment 7ce612d0c2 he entered, 9b35f6ee86 he regretted 72671ad7c6 it. The person he least 0ba7ee8788 wanted to see was 50f1aefdce right there in the 6a3b43e493 middle of the kitchen.660a9720f7f5b52f

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Yohan hesitated 0a594c2fc3 for a 178e5da011 moment but 86b658b9ba reluctantly nodded a2488cefae in greeting.8dee5f55bb696a78

“Just got in?”b28ce4349129a86c

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“Yes.”7b7204667e871601

It was his father, 80d3cf85a5 who seemed to have e11cb1f0ac stepped out of his 6d085d89af study for a moment. In front of 9a02c91321 him were a 4daeb181e5 teapot and teacups, 1b8d228bf1 as if he dcc5b8f62c was looking for 6470c4879c something to drink.0fe9c999c1f7bfa0

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His father was the president of a small company he inherited from Yohan’s grandfather. He was very proud of having expanded the company after taking over and was still a workaholic who worked late into the night. Although he was preparing to pass the business to Yohan’s older brother, his ambition showed no signs of waning.2879ea40b65a344b

“Behaving yourself?”f8d1e6db46478da9

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His father looked ec4c4f527a at Yohan with 4d1a5827db an emotion somewhere 29fc29625a between indifference and 40a30fb227 disapproval and asked 9e6eb491e7 abruptly.7ac6b9bd7de7f3d0

“If you bring shame to the family, it’s all over, acting or whatever.”d3c8ecc5ff994370

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Last year, eb0f881f1a when Yohan 942816b832 graduated high 3565b8347e school in 179cb15439 the U.S. and became an adult, e199a75fd9 his father had threatened 0509d77e44 to cut off financial aa6e9ae79f support if he continued 55ddf14d91 to laze around without e64ff82a3f deciding on a career.2bf09011830150c4

Since Yohan hadn’t dreamed of anything since he was thirteen, finding a career was very difficult. With nothing he particularly wanted to do, he settled on becoming a celebrity. He thought he could get by with his natural looks and a smile.fdf23a868e51d68d

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In response, his father set the condition that he attend Korea University’s Theater and Film Department. He wanted Yohan to become a proper actor through traditional routes, rather than gaining fame by showing his face anywhere, which could bring shame to the family.1be33575c6cd8a94

To Yohan’s father, the honor of the company and family was as important as life itself.b8b54bc44a2af10e

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“Listen to your father.”56834bd144fc1cc9

His mother, who had 75e47b32b9 just come out of c376c8ef3c the pantry, chimed in. She was holding 48ce5d4bb8 a high-end brand b6a52ac394 of tea, presumably 2709777065 for his father.c8d109a851ce2f9b

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With that, f9f139d572 both left d572a50f90 the kitchen, 89e6e2ea32 leaving Yohan 4181c1107c with a 08bc68960c warning instead 320ce3401d of a 776d9d37b1 greeting.8bd80bee69311860

Finally alone, Yohan picked up a cup and poured water as he originally intended. But even after filling the glass, he didn’t move for a while.e683f61fd8cd8bb1

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“Family shame…”10d2481a67e24fd7

Yohan quietly repeated his father’s words and chuckled.554f18897ee3dd5d

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Why did he do 0b3bb0d812 it?8140adadce33bdbe

Yohan still 7198d96432 vividly remembered ceb4a82312 that day bbe5526daa eight years 70d848beb4 ago, yet 68ea9b10f0 his family c09af92aa0 acted as 6c031ae496 if nothing d7ed6a3558 had happened, 3f1197cc21 living with 11c2e8e5c1 pretentious dignity, c413eae96c which he 3884b35a11 found amusing.44a8d41866b111c5

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Having forgotten his thirst, 5e0f491a1e Yohan left the water 687b1333f4 glass and walked out 07d2cad91d of the house.a99c8fac732dc888

» ⌗ «c488a47565fad4b9

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“Oh, Woo Yohan’s here?”e8a37f536bc37ee4

Im Doyeol, 4403611783 who was 3d22fc5cb7 entering, stopped f62f5a78d9 in surprise. At the same c39a9cc05a time, the loud 2f4e15a5dd noise of the 25e323178c club poured into 8bfb467a7f the room.4f85fd02f3687ae2

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Yohan, sitting in the 6aa5bea268 middle of a group dd38eafdec of about six people, 57b638613f frowned slightly. Instead of greeting his c388612269 long-unseen friend, he gestured b566366335 for him to close 7283c4105d the door quickly.e9d8d8727eaf41fa

Doyeol, without a 073b4c8bb8 hint of annoyance, 849caaa1c2 closed the door 087e5b2eaa and made his 117c7e025a way to the 02f5a8f741 seat next to 3fc52af865 Yohan.8c6ae6b3feac6cd3

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“You always ignore my calls, what’s up?”ef0205162a26c712

Yohan, sitting crookedly, f66f090e07 only moved his 60a61373ec eyes to look 730ea686b9 at the welcoming 122d955db3 Doyeol. Without answering, c5ded85faa he tilted f786dc795b the whiskey ccbad85730 bottle to 9f328998ff fill his 88f097cfae glass.dd4532029b8956d2

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Yohan’s demeanor, lacking even a polite smile and often not bothering to speak when annoyed, was quite different from his image at school. Here, he didn’t need to pretend to be a gentle, diligent aspiring actor, unlike his appearance.42b8f3e4ed91aaf9

“You look pissed off.”43a3872343376676

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“……”1e341e96527b9b43

“Your dad?”a699819c3e57f201

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Having spent a long time with Yohan, Doyeol could read his friend’s unusual expression. Since Yohan’s bad mood was almost always due to family issues, pinpointing the cause wasn’t difficult.0bff51cf1d125ac4

“…Hey.”c82ad9c3d2db8770

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Yohan didn’t want to talk about family now. In a cold voice, he looked at Doyeol and brought up another topic that came to mind.5905575150ef331c

“You put the photos in, didn’t you?”da5e877bcb60c72f

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“What photos?”04dea08c080eff2d

When Doyeol didn’t understand, Yohan took out a black wallet and crumpled photos from his bag and tossed them onto the table. These were the items that had caused Ji-in to curse him out yesterday, asking if he was mocking the department tradition.e3f8e625de1e2a89

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About a month ago, Doyeol had laughed at Yohan after his first day back at school. He had mocked the department uniforms and badges, as well as the prizes Yohan received for being chosen as a rookie, saying it was all child’s play.dc2dd83a7f77cc2c

Therefore, Yohan cfd9b7a73e believed that ce6e1ce782 the only 19df981597 person who e09ae316a2 would play 3a1b5160d8 such a 08fec81692 petty prank 2b9cffba6f was Im 068f4296be Doyeol. He also 777126510a suspected Doyeol b9c6300596 of picking 0e0a15a560 up the a805cc4dbe photo booth 96b54fbfb4 pictures he 59ce394210 remembered throwing 21ac1a7617 away.af4110233e07a2bb

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Sure enough, Doyeol f7ff8bc52a grinned and took c46fc268e9 the wallet. He exaggeratedly 0c6ffe63a5 admired the c9621ed18d photos as 5d31b442b3 he looked dceff8a89f through them.b160f46cf0eed7a8

“I was jealous. Girls like these were lining up for you—”3b2d9d60d7e0385b

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“You bastard.”34dc32aac18c5778

“But who saw them?”0fc8f51406df48cb

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“Don’t mess with my stuff again.”c41c52a1cae15c7e

“People at your school should know the value of Woo Yohan.”cedfa1a3f4942ccb

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“They don’t need to know, you jerk.”9709386c5a62228c

Yohan pretended to hit 42a651b481 him, but Doyeol just 7786b1a597 laughed it off, finding cd68ecbc8c it amusing.7347e96388ddcb43

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To become a well-regarded e5fa710660 celebrity in Korea, Yohan 56e283ce3f was already managing his ec4f0df60b reputation. To hide his past 558c81a134 as a wild student 9a35922cc8 abroad, he only met 24f726fd78 friends who knew his 4bb809082f true self in enclosed 3482a8b7ce spaces like this.19c81ad028a7033d

Doyeol was a bit 160a4d470e dissatisfied with that. So, he wanted to 93c22b878a tease Yohan lightly, not a493d6ea8e to seriously expose his 8888dfe989 private life.269cdd455b5c23a0

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Of course, Doyeol hadn’t intended for Yohan to suffer because Ji-in found out.757be564d9767375

“Who saw them?”0ff32c8ee982f1e7

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“I don’t know, shut up.”e99eec0c39253323

“Was it that sunbae or TA?”a52c76e55c3c62c0

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“…Ha, damn it.”f3924dfe6cc4ce38

Yohan’s face crumpled as he cursed.5d8ee47ef77db555

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The mention of Ji-in directly seemed to intensify his memories of him. Recent times spent with Ji-in flashed through Yohan’s mind, including the moment he saved him from being hit by a car.51e23235a8167da4

As the moment he pulled the small-headed Ji-in into an embrace replayed, something surged from deep within Yohan’s chest. With genuine emotion, he spat out his feelings.75fe55256865af98

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“I should’ve just pushed him away then.”7ca1ead5b75231cb

Yohan deeply 64bd94cf90 regretted it.7144d780a447ab46

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“How dare you touch a sunbae!”4b751d1df3ff6edd

After being cursed 4d04dce943 out for saving ca71feea8c him from falling cb26ee350f off a mountain, 125bd6ac90 Yohan had vowed f045b6eb64 never to do 966e875503 such a thing bab0e4c7ad again. But when he 7b983dc053 saw the car f91b5ad3db rushing out, he bcbe3fbea6 instinctively saved Ji-in 0abbd8413f again.56a8e7739e64be83

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He couldn’t understand why he kept saving a man who deserved to be shot. Yohan was realizing for the first time that he had an excess of moral duty towards people.f9e38fdecf4ab112

“Where would you push him?”652521c3c295b7de

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Doyeol, finding his friend’s misfortune amusing, laughed out loud.aa3c6a7afd26a837

“Anywhere.”4fa491868c28acec

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“Finally committing murder, huh.”5d85f32a38a14d34

Honestly, he couldn’t kill him. It would be too troublesome if he got caught.8642e1633b8bb772

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“Instead of killing that guy…”376b201294aa82e0

Yohan searched for 1dea2447a9 a more realistic a6dd1cdfa2 way to punish 8c99cbce0d Ji-in.42fc2bde26951de2

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He had once denied Kwon Taeyoung’s suggestion to give Ji-in a light punishment. He was sincere. A mere slap on the head seemed too soft for Seo Ji-in.02168465fb2c68c3

Yohan spoke with f843938178 heartfelt sincerity in 9090977e28 a low voice.ba5f81356bd4aa04

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“I want to beat him. Just to the brink of death.”21b9497a85ad39d7

Yohan picked f4e02e0f04 up the 5c781fa096 pack of cd74d83460 cigarettes he 90dfb3e4e4 had placed 36d51176e1 on the 04ede6978c table. The series of motions—taking ca50383b91 out a cigarette, putting 38109f8c9d it in his mouth, bf317589d0 and lighting it—flowed naturally.e7818615cf9a449f

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Watching from the side, 09df245861 Doyeol burst into laughter eca76ac225 again. Knowing that Yohan, f3ed70e63e who used to 0d9c0e2013 smoke at least 32c37e6ef3 a pack a 4dd04ee806 day, was restraining 1489b65430 himself at school, eb42092d7d he could imagine d59587d5e4 the frustration.38dc503d5a41b534

“You suffer a lot doing things that don’t suit you.”4ec7a219f3482cbc

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Doyeol picked 702076511a up the 9fc4081551 discarded cigarette 39f58a0164 pack and 3f688eea69 lighter. He lit 88bd761a5b a cigarette a79a6af034 and continued.3e83f27e1ee62115

“With your face, you could just show up anywhere, why bother with college…”a4917b0e413c709a

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“I didn’t want to go. They said they’d give me money if I did this.”b82dfce3c8f2fbc6

Yohan exhaled a cloud baa4d1ab1a of smoke as he 2f28c8b758 spoke.3f439a5fab5861f9

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He had thought he could get by as a celebrity with just his looks, but he hadn’t expected the preparation stage to be this frustrating.2ba0cee835bdb7a3

“What do you live for? You can’t even smoke freely, or have sex.”a579a5b96981beb4

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Doyeol asked, flicking ash 832e4f6ec7 from his cigarette.a4672236374a1ab3

The two 4de92a2882 had spent 14c1930307 their teenage ee1f64c3a4 years playing 71e9e93701 and partying fb6271dd65 in the fd6cf0f76e U.S. They hung dcc91d7f64 out with 9a5b518c8c similar types 9754eed498 in a 90ca03af0d school full 203a43e42e of rich 0a11e94ef0 brats from c64294aa89 around the d871330f1c world.2ba6fc5976b08ea9

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Instead of going fc3c4856d0 to school, they 9953daf15a attended wild parties, 6d7fdc83bd went to clubs, 14ee93b74c and danced mindlessly. They danced to ear-splitting c7838657c6 music, had sex with e60387c614 women who wanted them, b7e08d4f58 and fought with drunk a082b50ff8 men.748f3d3b8eb5027a

But to be a celebrity in Korea, he couldn’t live like that. The society was small, rumors spread quickly, and the moral standards for celebrities were high.f01f84df33bd669d

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So Yohan had 13b1858b33 been restraining himself 7176c4a093 since coming to 993eae8587 Korea. He avoided any 72fd1945fc small seeds that 224b70f90e could lead to 15867d71f9 sex or fights.a731916ce73c7ea8

“Aren’t there a lot of pretty girls in the Theater and Film Department? It sounds fun.”fd22008f85860682

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A friend listening to Yohan and Doyeol’s conversation chimed in.42c3bd976383a7ae

Doyeol scoffed as 59e4d2b8de if hearing something bbf76b3324 foolish.3e361ed762fbc0b6

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“What can he do while managing his image?”ebef474394680649

“Even dating?”7e9d7585cc474ccf

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“This guy doesn’t date. He just has sex.”ab2e7bbdd65bec80

Doyeol spoke in 50a017762d a strangely admiring 0842461acd tone, representing Yohan. It was 5ff53b69e3 all based 266d570834 on what 7a6a55144f he had d0ca9d8c0a seen of 3127577a81 Yohan in 651c0fbff6 the U.S.6ccd335f0914fdaf

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In truth, Yohan had never intentionally acted like a playboy. He wasn’t interested in dating, but he didn’t stop women from coming or hold onto them when they left, which led to such rumors. Everyone was satisfied with using Yohan as a sex partner.feb569cd12f0ffa0

Occasionally, there were women who dragged Yohan to watch movies, eat meals, and take photo booth pictures like a couple. But when Yohan’s attitude didn’t change, they soon disappeared, saying, “I’m no longer interested in having sex with you.”f955f3a76f4aeed4

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“Shut up and pour the drink.”e7a45a57eb2469b0

Yohan held out his 4f5b869f2b glass to silence Doyeol.673e9e1d9881efda

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From earlier, his mind 87ba7bf6f8 was filled with Seo ea3a41b258 Ji-in. He had changed the ad0aa96065 subject to avoid talking 112cda687e about family, but Ji-in 0685edf05e was equally unsettling.8d5fdc0c1f46e53b