Warning: NSFW
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TRWBU Prologue
by AnonAnemoneAutumn passed by in the blink of an eye. She could hear the weather report on the TV saying that the cold would come a lot sooner this year than last year. She remembered how she could still feel the chill in the air despite wearing thick, bulky clothing when she had stepped outside. Winter had truly arrived.
Thinking that she should wear thicker clothing tomorrow, HaYeon raised the remote control and changed the channel.
「 Now onto the topic of Actor Kang Taewan and Actress Lee NaYeon’s scandal… 」
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The brisk voice of the reporter caused HaYeon’s hand to freeze in midair. The reporter was grinning as if he were talking about his own love life as a picture of Kang Taewan and Lee NaYeon popped up on the screen. He continued to speak in a lively tone.
「 2 years ago, these two actors showed great chemistry as they starred in a drama together. When it was revealed that they would be starring in another drama together, they gained a lot of attention once again. While both parties have remained silent about their relationship, the fact that they haven’t denied it has fueled rumors. With the influx of witnesses and witness reports that they have been seen together with mutual friends, even more attention has…」
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HaYeon gazed at the photo of Taewan and NaYeon hanging out with their friends. She had also seen this on the internet several times. Whenever a scandal about them resurfaced, this picture was always recirculated.
Kang Taewan and Lee NaYeon.
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Their faces were turned towards each other as they walked down the sidewalk. Kang Taewan’s hat was pressed down on his head, and Lee NaYeon was looking at him as she gave him a bright smile. No matter how one looked at it, these two looked very happy together.
When this scandal first reared its head in the past, everyone said these two suited each other very well. Whenever HaYeon heard this, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to agree with their comments.
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Because if she did… In this silent house, sitting at an empty table with her dinner before her, going through the pointless motions over and over again… If she agreed with these comments, she’d feel too sad.
Beep, beep.
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When she heard her cellphone ring, she grabbed it and held it up. The caller ID of ‘Him’ popped up on the screen.
“Yeah.”
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She put the cellphone against her ear and answered.
– HaYeon.
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She heard the caller sighing on the other end of the line. HaYeon wanted to ask him.
Do you know when you started to sigh whenever you called me?
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However, she didn’t say a word and waited.
– I think I’m going to be late tonight. Because of the scandal, a swarm of reporters are here, and I’m not sure when the paparazzi will show up if I leave. I think I’ll be very late, so go ahead and sleep first.
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His gentle, low voice was faintly mixed with annoyance.
“Okay.”
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– I’m sorry. For making you wait.
“Okay, I understand.”
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– I’ll come back home as soon as this has been taken care of.
“…Okay.”
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The call ended as soon as she replied. The uproar in the background, the voice of a woman mixed in with that chaos, the sound of cars… She wasn’t able to ask where he was and what he was doing. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Kang Taewan was always busy and was always surrounded by people. He didn’t have any time to listen to her stories.
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And it didn’t seem like Kang Taewan had the time to ask his longtime lover what she was doing. It didn’t seem like he could afford to explain this scandal to her either.
Standing up from her seat, HaYeon looked down at the cold meal on the table. There was a cake at the center of the table to commemorate the anniversary of the day they began dating.
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She pulled out the unlit candles from the cake and threw them in the trash can. Then she packaged all the food on the table and put them in the refrigerator.
Today, when HaYeon had gone into the bakery to pick up the cake, her friend Jiyoon stared at her profile. Having been close since high school, Jiyoon was one of the few friends that knew of HaYeon and Taewan’s relationship. Seeing how HaYeon was clenching her hands around the cake box, Jiyoon’s asked with a shocked expression on her face.
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“You guys have already been dating for 10 years, but you still celebrate something like this? Wow, you guys sure have a good relationship. We stopped taking care of anniversaries like this last year. But it wasn’t because we both agreed to stop it. That jerk actually forgot about it! Can you believe it? That’s why I told him that we should just stop celebrating events like this. I told him we’ll just celebrate birthdays, and that’s it. And when I told him this, he got so mad. But it looks like you two are still going strong. How nice. I’m so envious!”
At Jiyoon’s words, HaYeon merely laughed without saying anything.
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She didn’t say that the reason why they were doing this wasn’t because they were still going strong. She was doing this because she felt that if she didn’t, she’d forget that they were dating at all.
Instead, she tightly clenched her hand on the box before it almost slipped and fell down.
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* * *
When she arrived home, she took out her phone to text Taewan. However, her finger slipped, and she found herself on the internet instead. Before she could exit the browser, a window popped up. The first thing she saw was the top searched term in real time. It was Kang Taewan’s name.
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As soon as she saw Kang Taewan’s name at the top of the list, a chill entered her mind.
When she pressed her finger on his name, ‘Lee NaYeon’ naturally popped up next to it.
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The reports began to fill the screen. Including the heart between those two names. Because it wasn’t the first time the two names had been involved in a scandal, she merely skimmed through the articles.
He won’t be able to come.
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Even though she knew this, she still prepared dinner. After Taewan got famous, they hadn’t been able to go out to eat. They’d either cook at home or have the food delivered to their house.
The one who cooked was usually her since she had more time. Even when Taewan still hadn’t contacted her by the time she was finished cooking, she still clung onto the faint hope that he’d still come.
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However, as she expected, he couldn’t come in the end. HaYeon went to bed and decided to go to sleep. She fell asleep quickly due to her exhaustion.
Beep, beep, beep.
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HaYeon opened her eyes when she heard the sound of someone entering the password to the door lock. She turned her head and looked out the window and saw that it was dawn. She stumbled out of the room and saw Taewan leaning against the wall in front of the front door. When he saw her, his eyes narrowed into a smile.
“You drank liquor? At this time?”
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HaYeon approached him and supported him as she asked. He had started out as a model just like her. He was a lot taller than her, and his shoulders were a lot wider, so it wasn’t easy helping him inside.
“Yeah.”
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He looked forward and answered succinctly.
“Then you should have gone to your own house to rest.”
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“That’s what I was planning to do, but it looks like I came here out of habit. Our password is the same, so I only realized it when I came inside.”
So he was telling her that he came by mistake. As if this was just a mere accident. When she heard those words, her heart dropped. However, HaYeon didn’t show it.
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“……”
“Did I wake you?”
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Taewan asked as he took off his coat. His coat still felt cold from the winter air. Feeling the tips of her fingers grow cold, she clenched them against her palms.
“Yeah.”
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“Sorry.”
“That’s okay.”
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The emotionless conversation continued. Taewan naturally walked past her and made his way to the master bedroom. He didn’t turn on the lights because he already knew where everything was. No, his movements were cautious, almost as if he didn’t turn on the lights so that no one could see inside. After tossing his coat onto a nearby chair, he began to take off his clothes.
HaYeon watched his back as he went through the motions.
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Turn around and let me see your face.
She suppressed those words and said something else instead.
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“Who did you drink with?”
“The drama director and the staff.”
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“What about NaYeon-ssi?”
“She was there too.”
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“……”
He answered carelessly. When HaYeon didn’t say anything back, he turned around.
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The black hair falling down his forehead. The sleek eyes underneath. Those closed lips that had nothing more to say.
He seemed so unfamiliar today as he stood in front of the window at dawn.
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“I saw the scandal.”
HaYeon spoke quietly.
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“Ah, uh… It’s nothing. Scandals happen just by being next to someone.”
“Okay.”
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“NaYeon is just a colleague. I have no interest in her. You know that, right?”
Taewan spoke absentmindedly. Rather than the fact that he called her a colleague, HaYeon honed in on the fact that he had called her ‘NaYeon’.
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“…Yeah.”
HaYeon answered off-beat. She knew that Taewan had no interest in NaYeon.
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But still, wasn’t it strange that they were always involved in scandals together?
NaYeon might be interested in him. However, HaYeon couldn’t say anything. Because she didn’t know enough about his matters to speak about them.
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“All right. I’m going to go wash a bit. I only have four hours to sleep before I have to head out again.”
He didn’t wait for an answer as he began to walk over to the bathroom.
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Whoosh.
She could hear the sound of water through the door. She could see the flickering light through the crack. HaYeon stared at the door.
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Taewan was always surrounded by light, and she was always behind the door to his world. Just like this. She felt as if she had become a shadow.
Since when?
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She asked herself, but there was no answer.
HaYeon repeatedly took her hand off the doorknob before placing it back on. Then she pushed the door open and stepped inside.
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The room was filled with hazy steam. Underneath the shower head, Taewan turned around and looked at her. Drenched in water, his eyes were half open.
“What is it?”
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He asked in a tired voice. His expression asked her if she had something to say.
“Do you want to wash together?”
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HaYeon leaned against the doorframe and asked in a quiet voice. He silently gazed at her. This was the first time she had initiated something like this. An erotic air settled inside the room.
“Come here.”
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Taewan stretched out a wet hand. HaYeon took off her pajamas. Her pale body was was now exposed to the light. As soon as she entered further into the bathroom, her body was surrounded by warmth. HaYeon stretched out her hand and grabbed his.
His hands were big, sturdy, and hot.
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As soon as her hand touched his, he pulled her against his chest. The water began to trickle down her body. The water was too cold for her taste, but Taewan’s body was hot, so she didn’t mind. HaYeon raised her head and looked at Taewan’s face.
His tall nose, his cold eyes, his closed lips… He was perfect in every way. The fact that his facial features were so impeccable was quite fascinating.
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Taewan silently lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. As if it was merely the next step in a sequence of events, his movements came naturally. Their lips touched, and their tongues plunged between the seams.
They had done this hundreds of times, maybe even thousands, but their tongues tangled together as if this was the first. As if her tongue weren’t enough, he began to explore every nook and cranny of her mouth. Every time he did this, she could taste the refreshing flavor of the toothpaste.
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“Haa.”
Maybe because of the water falling down from above, HaYeon found it hard to breathe. Panting for breath, HaYeon tightly wrapped her arms around Taewan’s neck. She heard a sticky, wet sound that wasn’t coming from the water.
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Their tongues were moving in each others’ mouths, and they were so close together, but why did it feel like they were so far away that they couldn’t hear each other speak? Did she just have nothing to say? Or did they merely have nothing unpleasant to say? She couldn’t tell.
She tightened her arms around him in order to forget the hazy thoughts inside her head. Something began to rise from between his legs and poked her lower stomach.
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Taewan tightly embraced HaYeon as his hand ran down her back. She could feel his breaths against her shoulder. His finger traveled down the seam of her bottom before touching a sensitive spot.
“Ugh.”
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As his finger moved, the water began to trickle down to that spot. HaYeon flinched. His index finger circled around the sensitive flesh.
His movements were soft and coaxing, making her grow warm. Feeling something trickle out, HaYeon pressed her legs together.
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However, his hand was already in place. No matter how hard she pressed her thighs together, it still continued to thrust in and out.
“Haa, haa.”
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As HaYeon panted for breath, a strange pressure began to enter inside her entrance.
“Ugh!”
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One of her hands grasped the nape of his neck while the other gripped the wall. His finger continued to push in and out. Then one finger became two.
“Haa… Ah! Aah!”
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HaYeon pressed her forehead against his shoulder. This man was very familiar with her body and knew what brought her pleasure. He continued to attack the spots that made her weak.
His finger thrust deep inside and scraped against her sweet spot. She was filled with immense pleasure and a slight sense of pain.
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“Nnng…!”
The finger continued to plunge in and out. With each passing second, she felt her head gradually go blank.
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“Na HaYeon.”
“Haa, haa.”
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Taewan called out to her, but she didn’t answer.
“Hold it.”
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At his words, HaYeon took her hand off the wall and gripped his cock. His enormous, hot rod of flesh filled her hand.
Within the haze, her hand began to move. They had already had sex dozens of times. She could go through the motions with her eyes closed. She knew where and how to touch him in order to give him the greatest pleasure.
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“Haa.”
When HaYeon began to move her hand, a low gasp burst out of his lips. Her hand was moving faster than usual. This was all thanks to the water of the shower.
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“Ugh.”
“Haa.”
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Their breaths tangled together between them. Taewan pushed her away before turning her around. Before she could secure her hands on the tile wall in front of her, something plunged into her from behind.
“Ugh.”
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HaYeon closed her eyes for a moment. Her eyelids were trembling. Although his fingers had prepared her, she still felt dry and stiff. Maybe because they hadn’t done this in a while.
“Haa.”
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His breaths were buried against her back. His hand on her hip began to travel. Their lower bodies began to move.
Every time he thrust inside, her pale bottom shook. Her breasts tapped against the tile wall.
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The feel of the cold tile walls only lasted a moment. When he thrust in deep, her whole mind went blank, and all thoughts flew out of her head.
When he pulled out, a sticky fluid began to drip out from between her legs. After turning her around once again so that they were facing each other, Taewan raised her legs and sat her down on the bathtub. Her wet entrance was exposed to the light. TaeWan gazed down at her before pressing his cock against her entrance.
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“Haa.”
Her entrance flinched with just his touch. He slowly pressed his cock inside before swiftly thrusting in to the hilt.
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“Ugh.”
HaYeon gasped. Her mind went dark. As all her thoughts disappeared, all the nerves of her body went on edge.
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A warmth began to spread from his cock as it continued to thrust inside her. His body felt so familiar as he moved at a steady pace. His movements were slow at first, as if he wanted to appreciate the view. However, in no time, they began to pick up the pace.
“Aah…! Ah!”
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HaYeon couldn’t hold back her moans any longer. Her toes clenched. Her arms tightened around him.
It was hot wherever their skins touched.
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In this moment, she wanted to ask him. It’s so hot between us, almost as if we’ll explode from the heat. But why does my heart feel as if it’s freezing up? Why does it feel as if we’re so far away from each other even though I’m tightly holding you in my arms like this?
* * *
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When HaYeon opened her eyes, she didn’t see Taewan. The blankets had been tidied, and the clothes he had discarded were nowhere to be seen.
If it wasn’t for the chair being slightly askew, HaYeon would have thought she had dreamed everything. HaYeon sat up and placed her feet on the floor. She reached out to grab her cellphone on the side table. Taewan hadn’t left her any messages. She thought about calling him but ended up sending a message instead.
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[When did you leave?]
The reply would come late. It might not even come at all. At some point, his texts began to come back very late. Sometimes, he didn’t even send a response.
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She couldn’t remember exactly when this all started to happen. As the leaves grew red at the start of autumn, the change had come so naturally.
Because of his work, communication had slowly deteriorated. Then they gradually met up less and less. Rather than seeing his eyes, she had grown more accustomed to staring at his back. She began to hear news about him through other people rather than from his own lips. And now, he had forgotten the anniversary they had considered to be so precious to them…
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But he had changed the most. His eyes weren’t on her for very long. Whenever they were on her, they looked tired and uncomfortable, as if he wanted to focus on something else.
She only saw his smiles and laughter through the screen. Whenever they faced each other, it was only during sex. And when the sex was over, he would fall asleep. As if her purpose had been fulfilled.
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When did the misunderstandings arise? Disrespect became comfort. Boredom became familiarity. Habit became love.
After placing her cellphone down, HaYeon looked out the window. The gray sky seemed to announce the arrival of winter. Could the seasons change overnight? The summer that had seemed to pass by so slowly had ended so quickly, and now winter had come. It was as if autumn had vanished.
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Relationships between people might also be like this.
The person that was by your side might turn into an unrequited love overnight. And that person would end up becoming like the dry, fallen leaves outside.
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HaYeon quietly lowered her eyes. Her dry eyes stared at the footprint Taewan had silently left behind.
I think it’s time to let you go.
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She thought silently. She glared at the footprint before turning her head away.
* * *
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HaYeon saw Taewan three days later. Exhausted from shooting his drama all day, he entered her home with a tired expression on his face. His coat still smelled of the cold winter air outside.
“What is it?”
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He asked in a low voice with a stiff face. She told him that she had to see him today no matter what, and he came with a tired face.
“You know I’m in the middle of shooting a drama.”
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He spoke in an annoyed tone, as if asking her why he had to do something like this at this time. His lips were tense.
“I know.”
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HaYeon answered calmly at the entrance.
“So why did you tell me to come here?”
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Taewan’s handsome face twisted. He grew even more handsome with age. She saw someone write that in a comment online. She realized that it was true. His face grew more handsome with experience and age.
“I think Taewan is growing more handsome these days. Aren’t you scared of being the lover of such a beautiful man? He’s going to be surrounded by pretty celebrities, and he’ll even film love scenes with those actresses, too. What if he ends up falling for one of them?”
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Jiyoon had asked her after having had too much to drink.
“I don’t know. I’m not scared. I haven’t really thought about it.”
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She had never felt scared. They had a lot of history together, and at that time, she didn’t think he’d ever betray her.
“Amazing.”
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Jiyoon said, genuinely shocked. Back then, HaYeon merely smiled.
However, if Jiyoon asked her the same question now, what would she say? She might not answer her at all.
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History didn’t mean that the love was stronger. Actually, it might end up as baggage that held the other back.
“HaYeon.”
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Taewan called out to her with a tired expression on his face. Feeling that this would take a while, he began to take off his shoes. HaYeon raised her hand and stopped him. He frowned in confusion and looked at her.
“This won’t take long.”
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“What is it?”
“Take this.”
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HaYeon picked up a small bag that was sitting at the entrance.
“What is this?”
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“Your stuff.”
“……”
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At HaYeon’s words, a silence settled in the air. His expression showed that he was trying his best to understand what she was talking about. During this time, HaYeon stepped up to him and stretched out her hands to smooth the wrinkles on his clothes. Once she was done, she grasped his collar.
She suddenly felt a sense of dread.
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If I let go, will I be okay?
While I was just one part of your world, you were all of mine… Will I be okay after throwing it all away?
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She was scared.
“Na HaYeon.”
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When he called out to her, HaYeon returned to her senses. She took her hands off his collar. Her fingertips felt as if they’d been cut.
She clasped her hands together as if they had been wounded as she gazed at him. Just as if she were looking at him for the very first time. And as if she were seeing him for the very last time. She stared at him for a while in silence.
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“…Let’s break up now, Taewan.”
“……”
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“Let’s stop.”
Ending an 11-year relationship was a lot easier than expected. One beat too late, her heart dropped inside her chest.
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Frozen in his spot, his eyes were terrifying as he stared at her.
“Na HaYeon.”
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His low voice called her name.
“Yeah?”
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HaYeon answered back in a calm voice.
“What are you…”
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Taewan couldn’t finish his sentence. He tossed the bag onto the floor.
“I don’t ever plan on doing something like that, so put this back.”
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“Why?”
“What?”
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Taewan frowned at HaYeon’s question.
“Why don’t you plan on breaking up with me?”
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The love had deteriorated in all his actions, so why was he being stubborn now? She was genuinely curious.
“…You… Why do you want to break up? Are you telling me the love is gone?”
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Taewan’s lips twisted. He barely managed to get the words out of his mouth.
“No, the love isn’t gone.”
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HaYeon shook her head.
The love had never gone away for a moment. From the moment he walked over with the springtime as his backdrop, it had always been there.
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“I still love you.”
“Then why?”
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Taewan shouted out as if he couldn’t understand.
“I don’t have the confidence to love you tomorrow.”
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“……”
“That’s the reason.”
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Barely managing to give him a smile, HaYeon’s lips slowly lowered into a straight line.
That’s why she was saying goodbye. Before they dragged this love and wore it down to the point of collapse. Because she felt that putting a period on this relationship was the right thing to do.
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HaYeon swallowed back these words and picked up the bag before holding it out to Taewan once again. Taewan’s face was frozen. As if he hadn’t expected to hear these words at all.
“So let’s break up now.”
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“……”
“Be careful on your way out.”
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HaYeon turned her back on him as he stood frozen in front of the front door. She didn’t want to show him her wavering heart, so she used the last of her strength to walk into her room.