TRWBU Ch 1 part 1

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The first time HaYeon properly met Taewan was when they were eighteen years old at the start of a new school year. She had arrived at school earlier than she usually did and found that a boy was already there. 

The boy wearing the school uniform had brought a chair up to the window and was sitting on it with his legs stretched out in front of him. It was still chilly outside, but he seemed to be enjoying the cool breeze.

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What should I do?

Unable to stay neither here nor there, she opened the door. Hearing the door slide open, the boy looked over. 

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Judging from his expression, he didn’t expect anyone to come in at this time. Then he gazed at HaYeon’s face with uncertainty. Almost as if he could hardly believe what he was seeing. A long time passed by like this. HaYeon felt as if he was going to bore a hole through her face at this rate.

She considered going back, but now that their eyes had met, it would be too weird. Therefore, HaYeon walked over to the desk closest to the hallway towards the back of the classroom and sat down. It was the desk furthest from him.

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She could still see him looking at her from the corner of her eye. He wasn’t even going to greet her, so why was he staring at her? She wondered whether she should greet him instead, but they had both missed the proper timing to do so.

It was uncomfortable staying home, so she came to school early. She never expected to feel uncomfortable here as well.

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HaYeon faced the hallway and slumped over her desk. She was worried he’d call out to her, but thankfully he didn’t say a word.

The refreshing breeze grazed the nape of her neck, making her feel a little better. 

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She already knew of Kang Taewan. Ever since he first started attending this school, Kang Taewan was famous. He was much taller than anyone in their grade at a whopping 186 cm and was altogether eye catching.

Additionally, with his broad shoulders and sharp eyes, he was a striking figure. His face still suited his age, but due to the dignified way he carried himself, even their upperclassmen flinched and stopped in their tracks whenever they saw him.

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His early career as a model was also the topic of many conversations. His pictorials often showed up in famous magazines. HaYeon had even seen a few of his pictorials in her favorite magazines before. 

One of his more memorable pictorials was one that was taken at the seaside. In the black and white pictorial, he was standing with the sea at his back. His face was as relaxed as his undone shirt, and it gave off a very dreamy feeling. It was definitely different from the aura he gave off in his school uniform, so HaYeon had been unable to take her eyes off him for a while.

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Not only did all the girls in their grade have crushes on him, but even the senior and junior girls liked him as well. Wherever Taewan went, a group of girls followed.

All the girls believed Kang Taewan would become a celebrity. Therefore, they all joked around and said that it would be good to be on friendly terms with him before it happened.

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HaYeon wasn’t so certain, but she thought if it was Kang Taewan, he’d be pretty popular if he ever decided to go down that path. If he couldn’t make it, then who could?

However, her interest in him stopped there.

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He was just a boy with an interesting background. A handsome, popular boy in her class.

They’d never interacted before, and they were in different classes. There had never been a reason for them to speak with one another. Sometimes, their eyes would meet as they passed each other in the hallway, but then they’d quickly avoid each others’ gazes. But now they were in the same class.

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A lot of girls will start waiting outside. Looks like it’ll be a noisy year.

That was all she thought in regards to Kang Taewan.

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* * *

As expected, their class’s surroundings were noisy that year. Before her first year, she had never experienced that kind of disturbance. However, one thing did go against her expectations. Kang Taewan had ended up becoming her deskmate.

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After everyone drew lots, HaYeon found herself lucky enough to get the desk near the window at the back of the classroom. Kang Taewan got the desk right in front of the chalkboard, but due to his height, the students sitting behind him couldn’t see anything at all. The homeroom teacher spoke up for the grumbling students and asked Taewan a question.

“Can you go sit in the back?”

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The homeroom teacher seemed apologetic for having to ask this of Taewan.

“The back… Where exactly do you mean?”

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“Hm, where would be a good place… How about the desk by the window all the way in the back?”

The homeroom teacher gestured to the desk right next to HaYeon. HaYeon’s current deskmate was very short and had bad eyesight. It seemed that the homeroom teacher had taken this into consideration.

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Taewan turned around. Their eyes naturally met. It would be awkward for HaYeon to look away now, and it would be even more awkward for her to smile at him. So she merely sat there and calmly stared back at him. He looked at her for a long while. Then he spoke up with his eyes still on her.

“…All right.”

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After that, although Taewan had become her deskmate, they never really spoke. Due to his work, he always left early. He didn’t even attend school very often.

After they had become deskmates, Taewan didn’t necessarily do anything to bother her, but he was still an indirect nuisance. The female students would come by during breaks to observe him, and in doing so, they observed her as well. And these girls began to continuously ask her about him with no rest.

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“Hey, HaYeon. Um…”

HaYeon had decided to head to the cafeteria in order to avoid the gazes of the female students. Three girls from another class approached her. They had been in the same class as her in their first year, but because they were so different, they had never really talked. 

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HaYeon looked down at them in confusion.

“That is… you’re deskmates with second-year Kang Taewan of Class 3, right?”

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The girl had tied her hair in a high ponytail. Her tinted lips pouted flirtatiously as she spoke. It was a bit intimidating, but HaYeon didn’t let her feelings show.

“Yeah, what of it?”

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“Do you know Kang Taewan’s cell phone number?”

The girls asked as their eyes sparkled.

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“No, I don’t.”

“You really don’t know?”

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The girls asked with doubt in their eyes.

“Yeah.”

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“But you two are deskmates.”

“We are, but we don’t really talk.”

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“Ah, really?”

When they heard HaYeon’s reply, the girls looked a bit relieved.

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“Then can you ask Kang Taewan for his number? Since you’re his deskmate, I’m sure it’ll be easy for you to get it. Or you can just take a peek at his cell phone. Right?”

“That puts me in a difficult position.”

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“Hey, come on. What’s so difficult about it? It’s not that hard. I’m just asking you for his number. Hm? I won’t tell him that you’re the one who told me. I’ll keep it a secret.”

HaYeon looked down at the girl with indifference. The girls took her silence to mean that she was thinking about it, so they continued to chatter.

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“I like Kang Taewan, you see. But I don’t know any of his friends, and there was no other way for me to get his cell phone number. I just want to talk to him a bit, you know? So can’t you help me out just this once?”

You sure can ask such a difficult favor so easily, huh? HaYeon thought as she glanced down at the girls. 

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“I’m sorry, but I’m not even that close with him. So you should ask him directly.”

“How can I? That’s too embarrassing.”

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“It’s embarrassing for me, too.”

It was more so annoying than embarrassing, but HaYeon just went with it and turned around. Suddenly, she heard biting comments coming from behind her.

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“Geez, she’s such a bitch.”

“And why is she so tall? Is she really a girl?”

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“Hey, let’s just drop it. She’s not worth it. Let’s go.”

HaYeon turned the corner as she heard the girls’ venomous words. She already knew that people always attacked her height whenever they had something mean to say about her.

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She didn’t want to respond to them, so she pretended not to hear. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks. It was unusual for her to see a pair of shoulders at her eye level. She felt like she knew who the person in front of her was.

As expected, when she raised her head, she saw Kang Taewan’s face. The fact that he had heard everything those girls had said made her feel humiliated.

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It was too late to go to the cafeteria, so she decided to go to the bathroom instead. She walked around him and was headed that way when…

“Sorry.”

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HaYeon heard a low voice. She looked at him, thinking that she’d misheard. Then he continued to speak.

“I’m sorry you got drawn into stuff like that because of me.”

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“That’s okay. You’re not the one who’s doing all this anyway. I’m sure you’re tired of it, too.”

She was basically telling him not to worry about it since it wasn’t his fault. Taewan stared at her.

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“You’re good at talking.”

“……”

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“So why don’t you say anything when you’re at school?”

“But you’re the same way.”

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Just as HaYeon finished her sentence, the bell rang, indicating that break was over. She could hear the students running back to their classrooms.

A few kids hastily ran up the stairs and saw HaYeon and Taewan standing together. Their eyes widened as they continued to make their way to their classrooms, but they repeatedly looked back at them. As if they’d discovered something big.

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“Break’s over. Let’s head back.”

HaYeon was the first to speak. She frowned.

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She hadn’t been able to go to the cafeteria nor the bathroom. She looked down at the black wristwatch on her pale wrist and checked the time before turning around.

“If I start talking a lot, will you do the same?”

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“……”

Hearing those words out of nowhere caused her to forget the time.

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“Were you talking to me?”

“Yeah.”

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“……”

“If I talk to you, will you answer me?”

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“…Probably.”

Although she disliked being troubled, she wasn’t so rude as to not answer someone who was directly speaking to her.

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“All right, then.”

What was all right?

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Before she could ask, he walked past her.

* * *

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The classroom was especially chaotic after lunch was over. Some would leave to brush their teeth, some would look at their phones, but all in all, everyone just did what they wanted. Her friends, Jiyoon and Yulhee, asked her if she wanted to join them in the library, but she turned them down and slumped down on her desk.

She had agreed to help her aunt out this weekend. HaYeon was always edgy the day before. It would only take up a small corner of a magazine that wasn’t popular with teenagers, and they’d take the photo so that her face wouldn’t be seen, but she was still nervous about it.

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If her parents found out, they’d be displeased. And she definitely didn’t want anyone at school to find out. She wanted to live quietly until she graduated. 

Slumped over her desk, HaYeon cleared her head as she enjoyed her break.

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Tap.

She felt a shadow loom over her as someone placed something on her desk. When she opened her eyes, something yellow was blocking her vision.

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She raised her head and looked down. It was banana milk. She looked back and forth from the banana milk and the boy sitting at the desk next to her. He was also drinking banana milk.

“What is this?”

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“Banana milk.”

He answered succinctly. But she didn’t ask the question because she didn’t know what it was.

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“Why are you giving this to me?”

“As thanks for protecting my phone number.”

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“……”

“Drink it.”

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HaYeon stared down at the bottle of banana milk.

“It’s a lot sweeter than you think.”

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He frowned faintly as if this was his first time drinking it.

Is this the first time you’ve had this kind of milk? Why are you drinking it now?

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HaYeon had many questions she wanted to ask, but when she saw a crowd of students enter the classroom, she kept her mouth shut. Instead, she quickly put the banana milk in her bag.

Even if she tried to return it, she didn’t think Taewan would take it back. And it was also her favorite flavor of milk. If she could, she wanted to drink it now. However, she didn’t want other kids to see her drinking the same thing as Taewan.

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HaYeon zipped her bag closed.

“Don’t give it to anyone else and drink it yourself.”

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Taewan spoke in a soft voice so that no one else could hear.

* * *

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HaYeon started modeling behind her family and friends’ backs one year ago after having received a phone call from her aunt early one weekend morning.

Her maternal aunt worked as a magazine photographer. She didn’t work with famous models or actors, but her work was very much respected, so she was always busy with commissions. HaYeon had even heard that she had gotten lucky and was hired by a magazine to do their pictorials.

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During this time, HaYeon received a call from her aunt. The high school student that had been hired to model for the shoot had gotten into an accident, resulting in scars on her shoulders and face, so she couldn’t model for them anymore.

As HaYeon listened to this, she didn’t pay it too much mind. Actually, she wondered why her aunt was even telling her this.

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“So, that’s the thing, HaYeon. Can you help me out? The model looks a lot like you. And we can’t postpone today’s shoot either. We don’t have time to go through another audition, so… Can you help me just this once?”

HaYeon’s fidgeting foot froze.

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“Auntie, you know what my family’s like.”

HaYeon awkwardly turned her down. After her mother had passed away, she got a new stepmother. Her father and her stepmother didn’t like it when she spoke with her aunt.

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That’s why HaYeon always said she was out with her friends whenever she went to see her aunt. If her family found out that she modeled, they’d instantly know. They’d know that she had met with her aunt.

“I know. I know that, but… HaYeon. Save me just this once. If you only do it once, no one will notice. And the magazine isn’t that well-known, so no one will realize it’s you. You’ll be wearing a lot of makeup, and I’ll only be taking a profile shot of you from far away. Do you think I’d really ask this favor of you if I was going to get a clear shot of your face? So what do you say?”

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“Still…”

“If it’s not you, I really don’t have anyone else I can ask. Save me just this once. Please? Pretty please?”

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This was the first time her aunt had begged her like this. She only ended up agreeing after much thought because she had always been interested in her aunt’s work.

After this incident, she began working as a magazine model. She didn’t earn as much as she’d expected, but she never had to ask her parents for money again.

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On shoots where the face didn’t have to be clearly seen, her aunt commissioned her as the model. Whether it was shot from the back, the side, or the front, the pictorial was always in black and white, and it was always shot from far away. If not that, she would be hidden in a large group of other models.

After the work was done, her aunt lowered the camera and gave her a bright smile.

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“Good work today as well.”

They had used up less cuts than usual, so they ended early today.

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“Shall we eat dinner together?”

“Yeah.”

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HaYeon nodded. Other than her two close friends, her aunt was one of the few people who she felt comfortable being with. 

“All right. Let’s go. Let’s go eat some pasta. I don’t know why, but I love eating pasta when I drink beer. Especially after wrapping up a shoot. Maybe it’s because it feels like I’m being rewarded for the day’s work.”

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Her aunt grinned as she stretched out her arms.

Wearing her white t-shirt and ripped jeans, her aunt didn’t look her age. She was refreshing and beautiful. HaYeon felt that she always followed her aunt around because of her lively spirit.

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“When I grow up, I want to live just like you, Auntie.”

“Omo, what’s with the flattery today?”

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“I’m serious.”

Her aunt chuckled and patted HaYeon’s head.

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“All right. Grow up quickly and become like your auntie. But I want to go back in time and become your age. If we could switch places, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“No, I don’t want to switch places with you.”

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When she heard HaYeon’s resolute answer, her aunt burst out and laughed her unique laugh.

HaYeon followed her aunt to her favorite pasta restaurant and found a seat. Her aunt didn’t look at the menu and began to order their food. ‘One rosé pasta, a shrimp cream risotto, a bottle of beer, and one strawberry lemonade please.’ They included HaYeon’s favorites.

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“HaYeon, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Her aunt suddenly asked.

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“I’m not sure… I haven’t thought about it yet.”

HaYeon answered as she drank her strawberry lemonade through the straw. She was good at studying, so her father told her that he wanted her to go to medical school.

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Her stepmother looked at her with a strange expression and merely said, ‘You should do as your father says.’ She didn’t like both of their suggestions, but HaYeon told them that she’d think about it.

“Isn’t there anything you want to do?”

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“No.”

“Really? You’re not the type to leave things so unresolved.”

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“I don’t, though..”

Despite her words, there was something that HaYeon wanted to do. However, she wasn’t sure if she could take that path. She wasn’t sure if she had the skills to take that path. She didn’t have the confidence to go against her family’s wishes either.

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“Then why don’t you keep doing some modeling work in the meantime?”

When HaYeon heard the words in her head being said aloud, she slowly raised her head. With her head propped up by her hand, her aunt was gazing at her. She wasn’t giving her the usual bright smile. Instead, she was looking at her with an earnest expression.

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“You’re a different person behind the camera lens. This is just my opinion, but the you I see through the camera lens is very beautiful. And your aura changes according to the way I photograph you. Sometimes you look pure, and sometimes you look elegant. Of course, you wouldn’t know how you look in the moment.”

“……”

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“If there’s nothing you’d particularly like to do, why don’t you give modeling a try? Think about it. If you decide to do it, I’ll support you.”

With those words, HaYeon’s heart began to waver.

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Can I do it? I kind of want to…

HaYeon didn’t let her thoughts show on her face.

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“Okay. Thank you.”

Instead, HaYeon politely thanked her aunt.

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Her aunt replied with ‘No need to thank me’ as she grinned.

A model…

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Kang Taewan’s face flashed across her thoughts. How did he like being a professional model? Was he happy? Was he satisfied?

Sorting through the jumbled thoughts in her head, HaYeon looked out the window. From the second floor window, she could see a man walking with his long legs stretching out with each step.

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Although she was far away, she could still tell who he was with one glance. He had been on her mind just a moment ago.

“Hey, isn’t that Kang Taewan?”

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HaYeon turned her gaze to her aunt.

“Auntie, you know Kang Taewan?”

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HaYeon asked in surprise.

“Of course. We’ve worked together just once. Back when he just started modeling.”

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Her aunt’s gaze remained on Kang Taewan as he walked across the street. She looked disappointed that she couldn’t put him behind her camera lens right this instant.

“Ah, really?”

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“How do you know him?”

“He goes to the same school as me.”

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She didn’t go as far as to say that they were deskmates in the same class.

“Ah, now that I think about it, you guys are the same age. And he does go to the same school as you. Kang Taewan… That kid was born to be a model. I really want to photograph him again.”

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Her aunt looked at him greedily.

“Is Kang Taewan good?”

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“Yeah. He’s really good. He has good looks and a good aura about him. And it’s a bit wasteful for him to merely continue as a model. Aigoo, if only he’d had better parents…”

Her aunt’s voice faded off.

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“What do you mean?”

After taking a gulp of the refreshing bottle of beer, she continued.

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“His parents went into debt and committed suicide. I even heard that it was a fortune. The debt wasn’t from running a business, so I wonder how they lost all that money…”

“……”

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“I think his grandmother is raising him right now. Thankfully, he didn’t have to take on his parents’ debts, but it looks like the grandmother will have to pay it back. That’s why he’s always working so hard. He lives off of the basic living income that’s given from the government and all of the earnings he gets from modeling goes into paying back the debt. On top of that, I heard that his grandmother is ill, so he’s living a difficult life right now.”

“…Is that true?”

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HaYeon looked at her aunt in disbelief.

Kang Taewan wasn’t a bright kid, but he also didn’t seem gloomy. He merely seemed indifferent, but whenever a breeze brushed past him, he always seemed to enjoy the feeling.

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Because of this image as well as his aura, he gave off the impression of being the son of a rich household. Everyone else at school thought this of him, and she was no different.

“It’s true. I’m friends with the CEO of his modeling agency. I heard it when we went out for a drink once. He only said it because he got so drunk that time, so don’t tell anyone. I accidentally let it slip out just now. It’d be better if you just forgot about it. You two are not even that close, right?”

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Her aunt looked at HaYeon worriedly.

“Yeah.”

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HaYeon answered curtly. Not only were they not close, they didn’t have any kind of relationship. After graduation, he’d only be remembered as a kid who had been in the same class as her. If she got really lucky, she might even remember that he had bought her a bottle of banana milk. But even then, she’d just think, ‘Ah, that’s right.’ before turning her head and forgetting about it.

“It’s a difficult life for a kid his age. Aigoo, I heard that he was even good at his studies, too…”

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Her aunt softly clicked her tongue.

“Yeah, it must be hard.”

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Although HaYeon said this, she couldn’t actually imagine how painful it could be. She might never understand that kind of suffering in all her life. His life was so different from hers.

“But he still has something to be grateful for. Because he was born with that face, physique, and aura, he can take a path that most kids can’t take.”

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“I guess so.”

HaYeon wasn’t sure if she could agree with that statement, so she replied vaguely.

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She wasn’t sure if one could say that kind of pain was something to be ‘grateful’ about. That kind of gift was merely a mask for the suffering underneath, and it was probably all he had.

HaYeon turned her gaze back out the window. Taewan had long disappeared and was nowhere in sight. Her eyes were momentarily glued to the spot where she had last seen him.

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* * *

She had accidentally come to know Taewan’s secret, but she didn’t act any differently towards him. After that, deskmates were reassigned two more times.

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However, they remained deskmates both times. Because of their tall heights, their seats remained fixed. The female students were jealous of HaYeon, but when they heard that it was due to their heights, there was nothing they could do about it. However, some of them didn’t give up and asked her what they had to do in order to grow as tall as her. However, they didn’t last long and ended up giving up in a few days.

“Are you still growing taller?”

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HaYeon turned her head at the sudden question. Taewan was slumped over his desk as he looked in her direction. His narrow eyes were gazing at her.

She wondered why he was asking such a question.

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“You said you’d answer if I spoke to you.”

Taewan spoke up as she mused silently. She was a bit flustered because he hadn’t spoken to her like this after he had given her the banana milk.

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“I’m probably still growing.”

She had grown taller since last year.

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“I’m probably still growing too.”

“Ah, okay.”

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She didn’t know what else to say.

“Are you going to keep staring at me like that?”

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HaYeon asked as she prepared for 5th period. Taewan was resting his head on his arm as he continued to gaze at her.

A breeze came in from the window and rustled his black hair. His slightly disheveled hair suited him.

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He’s really a model that comes once in a thousand years.

She thought as she looked at him.

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“Why don’t you take any photos from the front?”

“Hm?”

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HaYeon’s face stiffened.

“I think you’ll look pretty if you take some from the front.”

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“……”

“It seems that you only take photos where your face can’t be seen.”

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“…What are you talking about?”

HaYeon furtively tried to escape this conversation.

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“The April edition of L.C.”

“……”

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“Isn’t that you?”

Despite his question, his eyes were filled with certainty as they screamed, ‘It’s you.’

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When HaYeon merely sat still in silence, Taewan’s lips widened into a smile. He straightened up and reached into his bag. He took out the April edition of L.C. and flipped to the page with HaYeon’s pictorial before placing it in front of her. She was wearing thick makeup and was looking up at the camera from below. However, only half of her face was shown, so unless one looked very carefully, they wouldn’t be able to tell it was her.

How had he recognized her?

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Her heart sank.

“It’s… not me.”

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HaYeon automatically denied it.

“Really? No, I’m sure it’s you.”

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“……”

“Maybe I should ask someone else.”

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HaYeon hastily grabbed his arm as he began to stand up. Sitting back down, he stared at HaYeon’s hand.

“What do you want?”

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HaYeon asked with a blank expression.

“I want an autograph.”

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“What?”

HaYeon asked in disbelief. Taewan tapped the bottom of the page of her pictorial.

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“I’ll keep it a secret, so just sign your autograph here.”

“…I don’t have anything like an autograph.”

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“Then make one right now.”

He replied stubbornly. HaYeon hesitated for a moment before grabbing a pen and half-heartedly signing her name. Then she quickly handed the magazine back to him. He looked down at the page and chuckled.

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Na HaYeon.

Those three characters were neatly written on the page. Taewan stared at it for a long time.

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“Have you ever given someone your autograph?”

Taewan asked as he continued to gaze at her pictorial.

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“No.”

“Then I guess I’m the first one.”

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The ends of Taewan’s lips slowly went up. HaYeon had never seen that kind of smile on him before. Was it because of the breeze wafting into the room? Or maybe his face looked more handsome in the wind. Her heart beat a little faster than usual. 

“I’ll keep it a secret, but in exchange, let me know when you have another magazine photoshoot.”

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“…Why?”

HaYeon asked worriedly.

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“So that I can look you up.”

Taewan placed the magazine back inside his bag. HaYeon asked him why he was going to look her up, but he merely responded with a smile.

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* * *

HaYeon was on edge all week. She had been afraid that Taewan would tell the other students her secret. However, thankfully, nothing happened. He acted no differently since she had given him her autograph.

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However, sometimes, when she turned her head, their eyes would meet. When they were playing dodgeball during gym, she turned around and saw that he was looking at her. Whenever their eyes met, it would usually feel awkward, but Taewan would merely continue gazing at her and give her a smile.

As if he were relieved that she knew he had been looking at her.

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Gradually, HaYeon became more conscious of Taewan. She began to wonder whether he was looking at her. Eight out of ten times, he was staring at her. The other two times, she would be the one who looked at him first.

Whenever she looked at him first, she’d quickly try to turn away in embarrassment, but Taewan seemed to intuitively feel her gaze and look her way. 

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Feeling ashamed for having been caught staring, she’d look at him in bewilderment, but then he’d give her a smile that was a bit different from the one he’d have when she caught him looking at her.

The smile was similar to one of relief.

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These instances when he’d smile at her only lasted a moment. No one noticed. It was almost as if it occurred in a crack in time and they were the only ones who were aware. It was a strange feeling.

HaYeon avoided Taewan’s gaze and looked up. The line of cherry trees stretched up to the sky. She could see the white clouds peeking through the branches.

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The cherry blossoms will bloom soon.

HaYeon blamed the cherry blossoms for the small seed blooming within her own heart.

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