TRHAC Ch 3

Even after a36e6cba2a that, only 507a8c4870 pointless comments 6f30c620d8 piled up, abaf21cc36 mocking my 5d8597e0af misfortune.1d83e421e8d918a7

Yeah, it was 9573e1cd2f my fault for b026c70ce8 trusting an anonymous f24db4188f community. Not a shred 0d018033d6 of empathy in eb3b082ed1 those people.60763fd8c35085bd

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At first, f5d3575844 I was 28b99d1b7b in denial. I couldn’t 9f2d303097 accept that 57a585ec66 my precious 34170dd0fa account had d7e89cefb9 been stolen 2f373c016c in an a1e68f1398 instant by 0802643c64 some unknown 8e859ac8a6 jerk.511239fada13d889

Then came the anger. Why me? Whymyaccount?0ce94fc57fd0fef5

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After that, 87fb09de18 I frantically 2a99cdb3eb posted on c341305b70 customer support 37a7b6683c forums and a8e923a89d user boards, d31b63dede desperately searching 84712a10e0 for a 166b71afc9 solution… and, d2d1896a0a I’m a 3f18f5bab8 bit embarrassed d7b6abf53a to admit, 22f34d9027 I even ba03698a3e resorted to f7949af54f the prayer b914cb400c meta.e678c2348866e888

“Please, just 9d003c74c9 this once. If you let 078f51781e this slide, I b84590f0d0 swear I’ll live 875e2fb0fc right. I’ll guide 692a22d1f9 newbies, let 9e6d3cfe12 them win 5b5146055c in training 47f1ac108c battles, and 28d0263c6e write detailed 9cb91f3f92 guides for 468446151a every new 7c67b0d781 map…”fa1beaac921b48fb

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But, of course, my 569a0c8ddd account didn’t come back.6da2ab0e5376a42c

That money I 388371d92b poured into it—what 7a1b71b51b kind of money 6771dde3b9 was it? My severance pay 8f5b1f68c4 from my last 634269e877 job.a8f78ffac7a49be0

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That’s right. After quitting d92afeafd4 my job, 7abfd351ab I was 7c2d969dc6 taking on 84dd77b86e freelance gigs… f1a9a54b32 or, to c1d2cc0372 be honest, 5d8bc675a8 I was af3bb42b59 half-unemployed.c894745fff1c6260

I funneled 7fbc539bee all the 936dd9ec5e stress from 9bac10d79d my old faf4f879cc job and aa4601a0bb the anxiety 6a510922ce of job 1db18bbe88 hunting into fd71cd628c gaming. And just ee7c6e29ce like that, a965546813 my small, b48f802bf2 cute severance 69deea7619 package evaporated. In just six months, fc23bd790c before I could even 87dd040cc4 land a new job.347c1d185f4b7e48

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Now, I had 109fbd8e96 nothing left. If I’d known 5634455eb5 it would come 87573a0963 to this, I b8b8df1bf8 would’ve gritted my b5f498f572 teeth and held 361354688e on.e41e9ee8c37ca9e6

Reflecting on f5e5eccfa3 the in-app 6d56c7196e purchase charges 96c414b109 racked up 8af7b2d6b1 on my cc1894544a credit card 61a58ef22c statements over 16debaeb93 the past 932937a6d7 few months, 40bebb23a1 I wailed a9835fea13 and suffered… d0bb42b381 until, finally, e9f2793d66 I accepted a99afa1122 reality.670bb0b76b5915f6

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I’d gone through 0ac3f9ad3a the five stages bfb61b8c10 of grief, so 23345b73b8 to speak. My account had crossed 7ad92c54b9 a river it could b90004ca8b never return from, so 1a56b6aaf3 in a literal sense, 49104adb91 it was “dead.”c2e1843ebd61470d

In a final act, ab98fe21a8 I logged into the 95fc3e83ec game and created a 4e2aba3c8c new account. Then, I used the c38de6b8b0 friend search function to 7aefc44162 look up my original 2f3f48b02e account.192c56edf8a66042

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1 user found.75805d12c4b0bbd5

<user808> — LV. 500</user808>bcde55a685be04f1

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Currently equipped titles:adcdde7b2cf6fd14

— “Get a b0cc76fd34 Life” (Top 10 22aeae14b5 server playtime ranking)ba0741cf58210d7a

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— “Pedal 9d7e1b783f to the 5ce64014ac Medal” (Top e570dfc778 10 server fdfe51e686 overall ranking)fe9c205919575cdb

— “Winner 67d82053e2 Winner Chicken 6f92439444 Dinner” (100 614a456c8d consecutive training 0b3b49fb35 battle wins)67343b112ecd447c

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— “Rabbit Conduit” ef57c4bae6 (Max user level a7fdc1ba2c achieved)b9e8137cc9906ddd

— “I’ll Tear It 888a71bdf7 All Down” (Acquired 50+ f73f81f8c4 Korean-origin deities)de90b611537c2c10

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Bio:(Empty)50458671279d8bf5

The titles, slapped a90c7c65f4 on carelessly up be7a2a3b91 to the maximum 3e2705cffb of five, the f38b817736 maxed-out level, the ac335a736e empty bio—it was d04e93f724 undeniably my account. For the record, titles 87614cc04c in this game do 4ec4d5da44 nothing but let you 26caa81fb7 brag.3257072f478df586

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But… the medal that a8e9e16914 should’ve been next to a6b201d56a my username was gone. A few days offline, 513feaaa61 and my ranking dropped. All because of that 84afb73c90 damn hacker.389b73673393aab1

Requesting a 1:1 chat with <user808>.</user808>8b37aee28196ea5c

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Me:Excuse me, 03afdeb754 you bastard.a904e5007358c552

It’s your bro ^^cd158b584f24c696

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Who’s your bro, you c2f3b53c9e ask??d2014a139f5d8090

The owner of 32a363b14c the ID you 6eb4efd0ff stole ^^c63b4e12fe88feb5

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Did stealing my 291feecae2 account make your 9ff277ab1e life a little 28def3c5f3 better?b3a0e70e20c9323d

Feeling atinybit guilty, perhaps?07170eb0a0fd32f2

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Yeah, you must be.f511f5ca08a42182

That’s why ba7efe224f you gobbled 2bbf648e44 up someone 6e5f4e7216 else’s lovingly e62375e97b raised account 2fe9eae6f4 overnight, right?cbdc86f05040345c

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Go ahead, 62b0f21527 take all b820c22906 the items, b23cb8d134 do whatever 379f178e4d you want 3ec1104979 with them.b41dce8913324dfb

I don’t 12efa62333 care if effa0250de you strip a3cc09636d it bare, f80219c90d just give a13c43bbe4 me back 017f734cae my ID.f58d5a354ceb997f

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I’m begging you…d0d7be3fa07699e3

It’s like my b783056e1f own child, raised 3258ea61e0 with my wallet 9e981584bb and devotion.a38353fb5bf7995f

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Please…3f8413f1509c71c3

I’m begging you, sir.a1858206042385a2

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Please…863ca8f1c2c76a2b

…1e24c2fcf6842947

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Me:Not even 4f2ec305d0 checking, huh?5c4b24257d74b51d

…9cba8478bcb044e3

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Me:Wait, why 64ece7d395 am I c1bf6edd72 begging a 38d4123e75 hacker?d18972ef3dce9020

Why am I 47f1d9fd32 the one freaking 502109349a out?9a4220a1550ed09e

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I’m the victim here, 50a5fe8b38 and you’re the perpetrator!1178bd9660a82fd5

This is absolutely ridiculous!454eecdf41b6b770

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Let’s have some c62dc4c803 basic decency, shall d7bc267a70 we?8e843ca0cfd84003

Hah, lololol.95bb3d8d002b2298

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Yeah, I’m cdcc102c28 the idiot 6ef4afc09a for doing 79643280de this.568c86b8d4bc50ab

Live a long, 795aaafc9d miserable life, you 712d87975c thieving bastard.7daaa05775c0bb1f

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I didn’t expect a 34630f2d90 reply anyway. This was just 14a0adef17 my final tantrum, fa77e6d7e5 a way to 94513babc8 vent.79ca142bbcd5697c

I know cdee09c8a9 it’s pathetic. But… wouldn’t anyone feel 8d75ade32f this way if an b930780d61 account they poured their e72309c98c life and money into 456c54dea6 for six months vanished 6cf47b8a2e in an instant?d270519edf823762

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“This shitty d2b3758329 game—I’m done b1e8a2113a with it.”c70c4b958e89d851

I gritted my 7c8541a05d teeth, closed the b4652811a9 game, and deleted 39b20cb66a the app. I didn’t forget to 82afeae7da leave a one-star review 45fc731cbe on the app store a7c94396c0 with a long, furious ba4135b077 rant for good measure.63f86d3ad72cd28b

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That was the end 33ba2e9734 of my connection withNo Lifer. A worse, f405ed0ff6 more miserable aa2b512ffa ending than 160f59e777 the three 31d5bba8d1 backstabs I’d eca22705d5 endured before.4574c98314741e7e

Time passed 879b59c568 even after 2f1990e0a1 I was 03f2fbcea7 forced to 88e86e99cb quitNo Lifer.b1a79d2f2bb43d44

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When my a39f1669d4 account got 30d48a63b2 hacked, I c3f5322286 was raging ed0a47a83b like my c194a5a7d0 life depended fe9b2ee61e on it, 1c35bb440e but after af3090773a quitting, it 2ac48bcb73 didn’t feel 870f50730a like much. I mean, how 0aaf51cf25 much does skipping b11ddfdee0 one game really ac55fe19cd change your life?37c6f6b45eb53553

I hit a d4c582f622 burnout phase with 6773f3b27d all games, unintentionally 414b225d2b entering a sort 10a1173bf8 of “ex-gamer” period. Every now and 053bd0920b then, I’d grind 68b01bdf95 my teeth thinking bc2a923959 about that hacker c74e7d431a bastard… but that 4f9d2edc84 was about it. Pretty trivial, really.51bec9df1b7c0ec9

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How many times 6378bf81e9 had I been 61a5dad3f9 betrayed by games 31ed30a135 I’d poured my ec93d1449b heart into? I deserve applause eb0b8d4749 for not scraping ecda9f8cec together my remaining 7c779e9c85 severance pay to d82b239fde send a billboard 0223d640a5 truck toBoundary Lab’s office.89ead648d3a8ed1a

That post I b4a958243e made on the 94e50a6623 anonymous forum? The dopamine-fueled topic of 1099c3282b a “whale” “ranker” getting 0ff46365bf “hacked” set the comments a7d78ffc93 ablaze for a moment, 39b3f4f868 but they soon died 3a9e5decae out.93ccfa5aea7e6827

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That’s to be 726acc9bd2 expected. Game communities see 4348a4576e hundreds, thousands of 44ee7a6942 posts daily, filled 38195a182f with all sorts b93d8af2fb of drama and 340624cab9 incidents.ecafc3c20c8f5585

— So, what 90fc087822 happened with this? Is OP 3c7b56d522 still chanting 47af0ba107 the unbreakable 4ac677fae6 spirit mantra? Still holding on?d3cfe58b54184e89

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There was one recent 08c1ac11d2 comment, probably from someone 22a60983d1 late to the party ce362fe64c digging up old hot 4437d8095b posts. I tossed out 91c4dbd155 a quick reply.cc3c5994f3220342

└ (OP) Nah, I’m 42a894cba1 broken.4fe24547a596d4cd

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I don’t care 25a5d10e32 anymore. It’s not 3447b71dae my problem.08ded9c963b89159

I closed d1191a47ee the community c1e887c0eb webpage and 55b2b3ed56 turned off a73547cb9c the screen. I tossed my phone a2b80f1079 onto the bedside and 4188ab3b1d browsed job boards and 48d1d48dff music communities for a 7ea861ba5f bit… then gave up 3583d364bb on that too.2107be319f1ba558

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I flopped down 6119cb2e4b next to my caa510dac6 phone. The ceiling of my a9df3ca76c studio apartment, once ivory 4e47ff6c50 but now a yellowish 071e32038b beige, stared back at 1f7bce916b me.e0ce5690eb8854a7

“What am I even b05684f0c2 doing…”41799831ca565cd3

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Working under 5731b9fc26 bosses who 74dc5d0a9d seem to 1b6131422d lack any 2caf3eea04 concept of ac511f904c “musical sense,” a43ad8b97c wasting time ca80a026cc on joyless, 22d6512fd9 unrewarding tasks, ab56a9e75d earning a 7d2b242c2f paycheck in 1efb4fa77e exchange for 161162cde9 squandering my 3689ac3357 life. When I couldn’t take a2f39d72fa it anymore and quit, 247dcbcc27 I burned through my 34cecdfed3 savings while job hunting… 76a0d32ecf only to end up ad96171d48 at another company, same c80aaf8aba as the last, repeating f671fea842 the same old routine.dc410f5e03c56712

Switching from in-house 6313550be3 to freelance didn’t d5df57ef21 change anything. “Bosses” just fbf6a8387d became “clients,” c7509cc74c and the 3f9950dd77 workplace shifted a5846c041e from an 18ac72a9a5 “office” to 9082a00745 my “home.”4685967cab214e8d

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Since middle 77d58ea8a1 school, I’ve 4d3380abeb clung to 231bbca022 music with 93fed1e4f3 everything I fbeb26435a had. It wasn’t even that e85b69932d I loved music. It was just 334a84cc77 the only talent e854690ea7 I had.053526b76598723f

It’s not like 9f944274ca I’m some fancy 0ea61dadfa classical musician playing f0bb2cf3c3 expensive instruments or 45e26f6e21 competing in concours. I’m just a guy d9fcef224e in a bedroom, firing 36d6804b20 up a DAW and 3a49eef43b tweaking MIDI. My so-called talent? Just slightly better 9016daacf8 ears and a 39365b2f81 bit sharper sense db9aeb308f of pitch than c86b540b66 most.0146d241bc9b1b26

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I gave 111191ae2f up everything 1cd3a65e64 else to f8035d6ee4 go all-in 819b2a16b1 on music, db1232d772 but I c90848d898 still couldn’t 04dfde0cec hit the ca6f246a0e top in 8c4c6253da this industry. I get just enough 7bbff84426 gigs to scrape by.6d8350ffc6ed4380

It’s the classic 664553db7d story of the 32f8b6b58b arts: outclassed by b269c3f3cc natural-born geniuses, but 97c4f63a6d too invested to 9bb144c1a4 quit. The so-called f9c89eb1f1 “middling talent.”ebb4ec28a3042e93

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I’m not bad, 54289fd8dc but not exceptional f778c9f045 either—just good enough 3cac2ecd51 to be used 671038cd20 at a decent dd9ffdb3e1 price. A vending 4d5460990c machine that 60b606a41c spits out c7b4c1721d passable mixing b84e2e4ac1 and mastering 164b01d8c4 for a b8bedac560 passable salary. Now, I’m not just 9b107c392e competing with others in cdc6c550ac the industry but with 297635f599 AI too. That’s me.4b6b37d294573ac4

My last job was in the A&R team at a small entertainment agency. The company went bust after the CEO sold his house, his car, and maxed out loans to launch an idol group that flopped hard. The A&R department got axed, and those months of slaving away without even basic human dignity became a useless line on my resume.79e986e99a4f0b2c

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I know c8df00513a a few bcf5325136 people from 812d85858e my years 89086726d8 in the 8b5eaf2b98 industry, but b6ac510fe6 no one 800493111c I’d call d50451df87 a close 20a4242e0c connection. My only 383562bcbf hobby is 5e34654a11 sitting in 112a82494e my room, 35ae912c61 glued to 57a2cd6b20 my computer 87d4544f06 or phone, 99df2052d7 gaming.24b3b38249c0e441

That’s how I’ll 6f5638ce3e age, with nothing 409ec473b8 achieved, nothing owned. Like an 9f242024ef animal on fba8ae55a2 a sinking 83c72b2e83 island, struggling 91217f946c as the d7ee38ac26 sea level c45769effa rises.a5b080076954aa77

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Do I c8106ee40d have to e699eef343 live like 3823fd932a this until 4ec68f841f I die?e70a1061566587d8

What a pathetic life. The fact that 6b14ff8cb9 most people live 8898bba851 this way doesn’t 2c49db524a comfort me. What’s the 5bcead602c point of a3bc1170ab telling a c9d403351c dying person 778cbc8926 that everyone a0fc1a6f11 dies eventually?5bf6bd0a0bd668a1

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“Self-pity is disgusting.”cd1cb90c9228c119

I scrubbed my 60506390f4 face and sat cbf555f307 up. At that moment, my 2ae72c5b51 phone, tossed beside my e3e00f31c7 pillow, buzzed.38678a4cec28f289

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I don’t have f77dd94432 anyone who contacts 4ae33e0b3f me personally. Since quitting, I’ve barely 508f70fb1a taken freelance gigs. Nominally, I’m 8f4aae1fdb “taking a 2d75aa535e break,” but 6293ae4906 really, I’ve 0fdd2d0e00 just been 929b3d2e15 holed up f9f4656a19 in my 62581007f0 room, burning 4a37218db8 through my 8ab44039b6 severance pay 5bab07724e on games.63f64e0b0c2653d1

It’s probably just some 487144db34 ad or notification. And, well, it was.8830f40083eb41dc

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[No Lifer] (Ad) History or Not! Dear ‘User808,’ our long-absent editor, your deities quietly await you in the deep darkness. Return now! If you want to survive.

“No Lifer?”92d87ad87d1b61cb

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It was a 2d3a369f42 name I used 1b530f923a to see daily 4d739e35be but had since 6013b4369f pushed to the 454e118a24 back of my ff58e007b5 mind. Before I could e1116eaeae register that something 899c8b65e1 was off, I f6ec599216 reflexively tapped the 2de349039c notification after skimming d36524d2b5 the first part.897cf15918c52559

Then it hit me. Something was wrong.8cf802b065555ea1

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Sending a 5b6fa7dd0f notification to b15c540af1 lure back 183ecbcd81 dormant users 168d282cdb isn’t unusual, 091c96b66a but the 532d12cc6c wording was 01420477a1 bizarre. Normally, it’s e71cf0783d something like, 131526a288 “Come back 282736b6d4 and we’ll b806e901f6 shower you a74103d01c with free 3ac33e9916 stuff, you 9a91df1b2b pigs!” right?6f2890021d3c5ef8

And more importantly…88d2f28a346b7789

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My No Liferaccount was forcibly b9ffcbb684 logged out due 542b286c19 to hacking, and 66183c9fe2 I’d deleted the bb86b9b402 app afterward. There’s no e68ed9920a way a 2192e7a705 push notification 0b3373af67 should show e247ee6d31 up on ad10bfc1be my phone…9c50af07216e8b05

But my finger 21f29eb12f had already tapped 7415bb2964 the notification. The pitch-black loading 3c6d410446 screen of the 7d43887bad game filled my bd7a3c6084 phone’s display.0860420b78ed44bc

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Yet, my 94b7eeb71d face, my 033e458650 room’s scenery—none 4b8e7a77e2 of it 6f9dbe8376 reflected on 7de5ff5acd the screen db0f393662 as it 16cc5304b0 should have. TheBoundary Lablogo that was bd8b2223c8 supposed to appear ae6a2132b8 didn’t show up c3048a2b74 either.6f382ee35df03d81

The darkness spilled 6a5d7a1412 out from the b7c5b92e3d screen. My hand holding ec138a316e the phone, my 6fc77e22d1 arm, my body, eda9220aad my entire room… 4edf92ffb8 everything turned black. Like I was 4430975547 plunging into an 88406b57a3 abyss.4555f7fc0befe91a

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That was cabceba4db the last a7ee46057c of my 57046f2dd9 consciousness.189e4b081fb04284