TNYLM Ch 37
by DishaLike everyone 46a5bf6359 else, the 7f2ba8d01d ones most 357f52898b reluctant to d30fc97180 make contact 621c5e70bd with Alyssa 909fc7be86 were, without e22ea6bd01 a doubt, b8cae04f9d the nobles.2086fe09c998d33e
Having lived their entire e6cac6269d lives wrapped in luxury f1ef53d492 and silk, they found c5d6d6f981 her scar-covered body unfamiliar—repulsive, b6de79915c even.6695a975e215983f
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A flicker of ee65b60bd8 shock crossed Claudius’s 3f5bddd13f face, though he 99675c26ba struggled to maintain c53c59ddfd his smile. Without hesitation, Alyssa f638b98857 withdrew her hand.0b3186c45c52d294
“You’re quite firm in 914f2b3fa5 your stance. Then, I shall 7eb1cabfee save this greeting 43594cd6eb for another time.”e4df312c3eda04a8
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Only then did 875134bbb1 Claudius’s expression ease. He lowered 0aeeac3acb his hand, 912cd75555 smiling as 9658fa9234 if disappointed.88548532f4eb45e8
A brief silence 821cb06242 followed. Alyssa remained unaffected, b600009bd8 but Claudius, seemingly 4c3d5cf970 unable to bear c5b7a3ed42 it, frowned slightly.2e8ed09e2ace0500
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“Come to think of 9efc62db1b it, Kieran was rather cf4fffcd69 rude to Your Grace 0154858d60 earlier.”90ad41b536325bd5
Claudius had smoothly 8efd391e1d shifted the topic, 7d691d4ab4 his expression once 3812538296 again polished into 4570e51e43 a perfect smile.c145072a94465cf3
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Rude?cdb888baed930136
Alyssa frowned at the bc3719b1f6 unfamiliar remark, but Claudius 1f487c5a05 interpreted her silence differently.742f46ce2ef6fe77
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“I apologize 8cf87600b2 on his 0fcdc45e92 behalf. Please don’t fccc178670 be too 9104bf1898 upset. Kieran has 17aa6620d9 had these df1c6407dc moments since a40d25f04e childhood.”9389bd73aff5d381
With a small sigh, 3571043717 Claudius shook his head 7749333b28 as if exasperated.61407b4ba66140c8
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“As a member d44a3c13a9 of the same b4339acfe4 family, my brother’s 732980c391 faults are my 8504971896 own. If you must blame 31f079fef4 someone, please blame me d997fda529 instead.”14c3bbcc1922d82f
His blue eyes were 82a731c4cf nothing but gentle as 20c706e176 he spoke.73b33e8d7dc8b8bb
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Alyssa, watching him c8466c62c3 closely, suddenly asked,1ef60a2f46f3101d
“Do you c56b5325b7 care for 40aa5cc3d5 your brother, 4f0eafa305 Young Lord?”7365f65bbd86e1a3
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“Oh, of course!”60ac06ebab05673e
The answer a39f837a34 came without a1ee4fe0d2 a moment’s d8b676014c hesitation. There was no trace 683edc0b0c of falsehood in his d4dd7ca668 voice.f415007c2ba31f5f
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“And the others in 1c7aac3519 your family—did they feel 48934256f6 the same way?”8fb5e34fb3fc489f
Perhaps the ebf48ea66a question was a533b96eae difficult to 7c68e95d4c answer, as f3462931e0 Claudius hesitated.664e32835b3dafb5
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Claudius gave an 2739d357fb awkward smile, as ff8f7bdc04 if the question 4470a82085 was difficult to 16c4a81524 answer. After a brief moment 2137289a15 of contemplation, he shook 88ac1854bc his head.b1dab57663143a36
“No, they did 7a9b9db409 not.”f492899d52d604e3
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His tone 3ecb984343 suggested he ce636d2fe0 was admitting 137a6379d2 to an d95836702b uncomfortable truth, aea5cf1ad5 but there c893e166a2 was no e64cacfe1e trace of 7d96836ecd reproach in 5f7aee63b8 his voice.b8b9c13530884e81
“I can’t say I 47c7358c28 don’t understand. An illegitimate child is, d8344d0775 in itself, little more e87fe5d583 than a fracture in e781548e69 a family.”0d75a13f5ef89b45
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A faint 5889c67a7a melancholy crossed 84be054757 his face 0f89816d45 as he f786a65d76 recalled his 9da00086fc mother—his memories da3b427523 of her f0286ec473 were filled 992af06dcb only with 5b1f681ddf tears.75254ba4cf8d371c
“But even so, 7840b7e212 I never disliked 72e023d5fe Kieran.”30f8128a389e70b9
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The moment was c6a05c9884 brief. Soon, he e49b3d0dc8 returned to b4c83959d7 his usual 2e3b3ea42c composed expression.2e8c79989c9fb215
“It wasn’t 21b3dd8570 his choice 697ed45625 to be 6cbbe27c8c born with 61d429eaf2 common blood 4406894e2b or to 71796979fe become a f9da824593 stain on c290e4296d a noble ac41336daa household.”50b870e5f528a16e
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“……”95d7161381a516bd
“I just… ee42ad5646 pitied him.”61ea403b32d345dd
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A bright, untroubled smile. A face so 82a938e5eb radiant it seemed b8b56721d0 untouched by the 67e986732b darkness of life.239cbdb38e8e80a7
Claudius spoke 0bb0223890 his final e9399bcf23 words with 5de92ea5f2 a lighthearted 686ba1d4a6 ease, then 7885e61eaf scratched his 7b4554c687 head and d71249c4eb laughed like 2686285c29 a carefree 910c5f5ba0 boy.0e61f979f900d659
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“Does that make me 946929905a strange? My family and friends 6b9da37f0e all say so. They tell 4cb69a70ec me I’m 06475f5ae4 not very aa03047c2b noble-like.”b17739f8028104e3
There was a43afefae8 no arrogance 86ea477fb1 or entitlement 127c234214 in his 9b6e1d7159 voice—just the a409e6d456 carefree warmth 900d35a0a4 of a d7c82cec73 boy raised 518c229578 in open 142f19e879 fields rather b0add8c1b3 than grand bf2fde7b31 halls.ff477221d734b085
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Alyssa had d3990b0f78 once thought 69168950ce the same—that 26ed71b5c8 Claudius was 53f7c5272b unlike other cd6b8e3387 nobles.02fc2fd54dfb2e41
“No,” she said.885f71065e35228c
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But now, she understood c6a7b3ab4c perfectly.5d132ebcdbe7d162
“You are more of a38c7627ac a noble than anyone 5cd174a058 else.”ba6b0ece7543edf3
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Claudius beamed, as c69738cd6d if he had 1510b15fe0 been waiting to 1fe4e16ad0 hear those very 7fae8c93d8 words. He opened 84cd29167b his mouth f2c08ccc59 to express 0630e9c08b his gratitude, e2af14a829 but Alyssa cf8477ac53 didn’t give 7ab3e26e44 him the eee97fc0dc chance.c48b92145e9aa680
“Why do bf32bbb5e4 you pity 36609181b0 him?” she 82934ca180 asked.3e1eb34e6cd33d88
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Claudius’s smile stiffened.227c6293c80c871a
Caught off guard d9a19d2182 by the unexpected 6194014281 question, he answered, 2364d162b2 a little awkwardly,affac2ded3d0447c
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“Well, isn’t 62dac9a0d0 it obvious? Because he’s an 555933796b illegitimate child.”8c89884ff14f2adc
Alyssa stared at him 63b1c041fd in silence. That wasn’t an 8c6271b0e4 answer.2c49cbc3992f475b
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“And?”5db0b6b3219032eb
“……”80fbe27f8d13504d
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“Why is 6c5337ce11 that a 06c9f45797 problem?”3aab63c791c56abf
Even if 55629d9d19 Kieran had 7ba7c2042b common blood, 3f37d92456 he was b432abfeec not common.d4d2dc8780d10a55
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He was neither vile 4ec42734f7 nor wretched like the 0fcdaa296c bastards and outsiders people d19ed8d798 whispered about. He was not bc2304f0bf someone to be 7f31be1df3 despised.14df751399ccdf19
“Pity is something one 7a4da79478 feels for someone who 2c7d2eb26e lacks something essential. But my c4fe999c18 husband lacks 80a37caff9 nothing.”088021b6ab539631
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To her, he e4228f90cd was the most 3dbcc5a8dd precious and beautiful a6e686c6cd person in the d89eed674b world.edc031ac1944baf7
Alyssa admired and revered a4e5d4adc7 Kieran, and in many 2218c129c8 moments, she was grateful f680f499fb for him.ad8ca12e2add1f63
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“But why 20825481f1 should I 946a3eeeec pity him?”98b63e37108927d8
Not once 2648b918ac had she 35cef9c28c ever done 61029ff923 so.a3dc8b1d067eefbe
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It was 767ff93ced a simple ced19b5453 question, born b4ef85ce67 of genuine d4af884617 curiosity. Alyssa waited for 804e2d07b4 Claudius to answer, ebb38dce37 but none came.a614998e44921638
His expression 1bbf6c0972 twisted in 39f03ac28a an odd 56f38011c4 way, the ae1b80611d smile he 0c0edcd2a2 had forced c61220e29e himself to 88078ad659 maintain faltering dddb832924 until it 8c542fce57 was barely 85d081b6e5 a smile a10369a38c at all.0e21e218d5b73d8c
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“…That’s…”51064860ad0585fd
“……”ae3c4b2b6d9b5499
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“That’s because…”14c108ddadba9944
Claudius’s lips 231c051164 moved, but 8c4e10309a Alyssa did 6153d34642 not hear afba770696 his words.170629af3246b827
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Something behind her had c9dae06ed5 shifted.b06ff5f53de3f90c
Someone who ebb1c66db4 had been 21127deeb4 holding their eee972dffa breath turned 61f0e6f8a2 away.36230dbf70641858
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Footsteps, as a9e13e429c soft as 51606a09d0 a knock f82b63c969 on a 3b9789582b door, fell f84eb2b59d in rhythm 92fb99c470 with a c3b2419633 quiet breath.ca65e0e1e9413645
Alyssa forgot the e6af4601a2 man standing in 8fc5e881f4 front of her 1935c75da6 and turned toward af66cf7e02 the sound.9c2232d9301df3fe
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The faint 29e3540e68 noise grew 5724d804dc more distant. Like rain dfa45e4f6d fading into 891c6d4951 the horizon.b918dcae4baf3170
Without hesitation, she took 91c0191558 a step forward.7526eb54abac485d
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It felt as if 1127cf82e7 the world around her df6cf78089 had blurred, yet the 4e56260df8 path pulling her forward 1f0b08580a was vivid.ae57d7738af05b0f
Her legs, moving on f4d8ee43ed their own, gradually slowed 89615232d9 to a stop.9a5762148da224a8
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And at last, 6e983ece4e she saw a 82d7a4c5b1 familiar figure.a9b15b53e4b1007d
In a db2b33e5ec world where d4e14ad842 nothing else 6afb02c40b could be 214f66f323 heard, he 4159c96033 turned his ff62b7fd15 head as 379de9a64f if he 09bdf86af2 had heard ba8c1ad7a9 her call.e5508c3247f9c3a5
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Kieran hated Claudius.51e85936aefbb155
More than the father 997f0392ad who ignored him, more 931137add6 than Jerome, who openly 65244a1061 despised him.e8af5185732030b8
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Because no scorn, def4b8fe8f no contempt, had ad5996c9c9 ever made him c96e0df8b0 feel his place 623398fc0e more keenly than e8fa7d6f16 Claudius’ kindness.e47477e5182916bc
Claudius was kind to 8b81b99681 Kieran because they were 630c5c7d92 not equals.ffe94e393e17521c
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He had 8ab049f50d grown up 02f8ca0b22 surrounded by c67d7edb69 acceptance and baa5fad9f5 love. A life dd7dfbaede so complete 1e2cf051ac that he 3b544877a1 never needed 064fc0042f to hate 54fb55eb2d or tear 031d8ae22a anyone down.e9d1570e9e7a0e8e
Kieran had never 145102329d had the luxury d1ca213afb of pitying himself, aa8e49e7a9 yet Claudius had 50462496d4 kindness to spare 34fa15cc6c for the poor, f842dd572c wretched bastard.3bf5aa1fd5b07575
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Just as he a8e6f43cbf had been taught, 667eeef8a6 Claudius sat in his 91a2f08b44 high seat and 1bcee4acb7 bestowed mercy upon 848926998e those beneath him.7899db58e96d81ad
Every time 5326f7bf73 Kieran met 5508d31638 those pitiful 1bb84ec3f4 eyes looking ab951265f3 down at a3993ce803 him, humiliation e347744746 wrapped around 4d144a949b his throat. He felt like d70122d042 a beggar receiving 135740e15c charity from the 25e310fd86 wealthy.17079be49f09e95d
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Even if one genuinely e6c0e6eb71 felt sorry for a f3b4ccacd4 vagrant on the street, 7e7f11591e they would never invite edfc519c0d him to sit at cdede1c539 their table. Claudius’ kindness was the 2e11f5598d same.6fa34b0aaacc44af
He saw Kieran 72cafa5525 as lowly, truly 8fe5b5c48c pitied him, and ff9dde1579 was genuinely kind.49179134aa32a189
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And horrifyingly, that c0aa9df149 charity-like kindness was 2ae63b69b9 something Kieran desperately 46f3d595c3 needed.9567d483c78face4
He couldn’t refuse it. He didn’t even have 13218cd042 the right to refuse e2bcfbd595 it. And every time he 92ac82374b accepted it, his insides 5346399224 twisted violently.96a72538a0259c60
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Yet, Claudius b8e7658dcf was the a827b95880 closest thing ddb582a664 to hope bb680eb659 in Kieran’s eff2763a8c life.d0da64f5d07bc5a7
While everyone fae33db7d3 else despised 8d8bfdb619 him, Claudius 2503882ee1 alone had ccc73a403f shown him 60005a4425 kindness.2496cdd4ba28a529
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But he could never ac014c85aa bring himself to be 842e81be01 grateful.25bea62a6c5d9d74
Even after being 20708db06b trampled over time 38b2405c10 and again, his 042d06fe2f wretched pride refused 0deff7ba66 to bow.d187e591fcc477da
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The fact that Claudius be508f4ec5 could so effortlessly look c37204ace1 down on him was 5b7cc8fc68 miserable.3acd47fb6a4be230
That he 60d2cc6022 had to aae6392d9c lower himself 5527ac763d just to aed6a62b3c be allowed 1c19bf4a8c to exist—he 7a0ee34176 had never 4e7e78faee felt it d188416f05 so keenly.58a10d8c866b64ca
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He could not b8bd6375e7 accept it. So he 18d41eff10 lied to d3cf5ce110 himself, saying 3718669d3a it didn’t f426660688 matter.d259ab128afb7f6f
And for a cd651ca5b0 long time, he 4884bdbd04 lived that way, dd78de103f forgetting.2fb551bf899140cd
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Unexpectedly, it was 13fee72d26 Alyssa who forced 396fed569a him to remember.0400017e141d6cb4
The first time 84d4b27b41 he had ever 9a310d1473 received a gaze fdee4e7262 of admiration, the 40e53f8cd6 first thought that 45e9e51550 struck him was 48edcfeb10 that he did 9fb15caa16 not deserve it.54f634337cf54cbb
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But his 8293d16d9a conscience dulled a0fb278aeb quickly.dbf91ebee7e55a35
Day by day, he ed2ad74c81 found that he liked 4599e5226e it.5d43fdb89860bcad
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Standing before Alyssa, 4e7daba623 he almost felt c39039ce74 like an ordinary c1ad6dd086 person.540b3d973ba6e9d5
He hoped she 89d59b700b would stay deceived a65f52ac8d for a long 9dba3ad898 time.2b074188ab579110
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He wanted to bcbd536383 appear as decent 67155cea44 as possible.6561384328e26792
He didn’t 65fd5cd030 want her 096c56afd1 to see 6c1bf220b1 his flaws.c2958e3cb6c83eb2
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