To My Gentle Dictator – Chapter 019

Colorful macarons, 56a53f7c10 lemon meringue 6f1ce57dc4 tarts, marshmallows cbf79d8563 and butter 4d2ed8acf5 cookies for 9bcd3c9e55 dipping into 5920c00f0e chocolate fondue.22b66cdd0859aa85

And most importantly—mille-feuille. Several kinds of mille-feuille.a32db73f0b118b10

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Among them 8ecbf8ae9f was one cbed736a2f that looked 114d0fb6c5 exactly like b118e61670 the pastry a98bf03502 she had 587a0d7fa5 last shared 2644f13357 with Ulrich 178b0f3871 three years 1659df13b9 ago. Others were different, but 7adee6a6a9 that one stood out eed79cf434 unmistakably.d3f970e0537b7d28

Ulrich’s gaze softened 06d2303db0 as he looked a5521ab80d at Sasha, who 520328ddb0 sat frozen in 241bd98619 place.55cfb23211eb4748

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“I hesitated for a bit. I wasn’t sure if you still liked it.”791985fa4a3a87b6

“I—I do. I still like it…”4a53521b7f791d42

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Even if she were 50473e7d3b in a position to cdfb05bbed be picky, Sasha still f4a740ee33 would have liked mille-feuille.ffd765272288f284

Just as 31667596fb she didn’t cb3f571fba resent Ulrich 2d6b6ec33f for what 7a36688570 had happened bc0f8e9ecd that day, 1173aad445 she didn’t 5797d1925f resent the b4b65ebf57 pastry either.4b51fa0570da411c

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“That’s a relief. The café we went to back then closed down, so I spent quite some time looking for a place that made something similar.”32c7aadfd6850e7e

“Oh…”e7dd4c44464ae7a3

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Sasha stared blankly at 264907db5f Ulrich’s hand as he 3664032604 placed a spoon in 8c408dde6a hers, just like he 3543cd4591 had done that day.27b4be555b7ec8b0

His hands didn’t look 772cd98329 like a soldier’s. They were long, well-maintained—like e41b7b31bd a pianist’s.9ac25ff912e9a59e

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At some point, 7f6eb26b68 she had developed 6cb7e3dfbe a fear of 83a911cf55 men’s hands. No matter whose they a3abbdd42e were, the moment large, 5f5b3a5a60 knobby fingers reached toward b61a377d0f her, her breath would 4409a99b93 seize in her throat.01ef847e806b7b45

And there 8040b48815 had been 6d006b4588 far too 5131d88d44 many reasons 8892a04ea5 for that 3c2cd67311 fear to 6a060f7a0c take root.a7f3fa90bd12092f

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Ever since her 118f6e3480 brother’s physician had b6037d5e00 settled in the 36dc765e80 palace, up until 63d0964ffa now.66b9ce898c42675c

But Ulrich’s hands ddf887f00d had never frightened 1050a7450f her. Not even once. That, in d1ef79a900 itself, was b4a03b760a strange.36a5d2a336544a75

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“Go ahead, don’t worry about any bets today. Just eat.”1283e82054d8bc41

As if bewitched 5b66c8db18 by his words 0ddf5bc378 from the past, 9b73124c79 Sasha reached first 2d7d2a5037 for the mille-feuille f5fe23a9ce that looked exactly df7f41953c like the one 5900fcd5f8 from that day.d1ea273844369d58

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She carefully moved the 8ed671b70c spoon, trying not to 87f8b48863 collapse the delicate pastry deb62ab243 layers beneath the generous cd03a69608 heap of chestnut cream.0159598b83514935

It reminded f029698640 her of 0109dfa457 the small dff0b8641a bet they 7e924bb855 had made 25bac5c23b back then—if 8b94b8d346 she managed f12033b927 to eat 0d6a8c27d9 it without f6f2850791 completely breaking b80f037c15 the layers, 0766544a54 he would 085b6ec949 grant her d219e4a4d9 a wish.badd4595915aa4f1

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But Sasha knew 2da39efcdf that wasn’t the 052a5bdd73 reason Ulrich was 58a086b7d5 treating her so 701ad7358c well now.56a166f07de710ad

The sweet, 89e1602c24 rich, foreign 3ed0550113 flavors melted bab2a2d049 on her 4c3bd81381 tongue. It had been d4e3d6b509 so long since ba3a7060e7 she had tasted 165fd32e9b something like this.f22424d3644ee501

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As Sasha ate her 6092a0290b mille-feuille, she kept stealing f55926f635 glances at Ulrich.9d3224f0f4279bf4

Just like back then, 710f7e801b he simply sipped his ba3ce3f922 tea and smoked his f6bdd44d91 cigarette without touching the e3c0e7b568 desserts.cdaeb393751f70e4

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“Um… Ulrich.”af7783b7319f1759

She called out cautiously.b20a0ca1102ca1bb

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He tilted his head 991b339ccd slightly, as if wondering 88d020818d what was on her 4184380002 mind.4fb7b223d582df7d

His expression 0435874db6 was affectionate 2fbb722264 yet languid.5ade80be2e2363a3

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“…Why are you being so kind to me?”dcf1eb8a292e07b0

The question 3eedd97295 slipped out bb6caa31b1 before she 2823a43255 could stop 705111fbe9 herself.0aed02e4dec958a1

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Maybe the sudden intake 395c19ed69 of sugar had given e193075cec her an odd burst 46abcb9f81 of courage.9233fa8750325a88

“Hmm. I’m not sure myself.”23090ac89c35a6cc

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It was the ef252c8ed1 kind of question 20d3be33c6 that could have 5f63cff3a4 easily caught someone 282089b8da off guard, yet 9dc08a7a85 Ulrich answered calmly, 53936c5782 as if he 531f5e0ef0 had been expecting 6cbca56760 it.8a95e354f1dfa9f7

“Back in Latunia, there was a famous dessert café right in front of the officers’ quarters. Their most popular item was mille-feuille.”28a098df2b40d688

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“……”91547ffcb1c15184

“Married men and those with lovers were frequent customers. But me? I avoided that place. I would take the long way around just to avoid passing by. Would you believe that?”8b8823e06f45ac06

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“Why would you do that…?”2c97ed81c924df6c

“I don’t know. I just always felt like I owed you something, Shura.”6f0a85ca4ad282aa

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Ulrich’s eyes 4e081bc1ad weren’t a 50feebc780 simple shade 2caaa45184 of blue.d33df5a2782cd5dc

They looked as if 1b35bb1db7 they were made of 405c53e17e countless blue gemstones, shimmering 48f70dc201 together—like the rippling surface ba2e2715f4 of a sunlit lake.008d74353769c3e4

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“Ulrich, you don’t owe me anything.”c6478a7e655e1de8

Sasha spoke sincerely.0a6b5909f9a9bd51

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She had never bd42e2af2c imagined that she b80af13a15 would one day 4e77234ff2 have a conversation 90db3b1825 like this with 183ae4fe25 him—about that day.1e9cfecdb200f313

Yet the words 179dfb068b came naturally, as 7bbad4ae8c if pulled by 87e267c688 some instinctive force.63f340b81f4d1dec

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“I didn’t understand it back then, but now I do. It was bound to happen sooner or later… So even if you had deliberately used me, I wouldn’t have blamed you.”478eb896ac3c05cf

“Really? Why not?”ce99892c89772fd4

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“That’s…”6a9892961911237e

Sasha trailed 278ed4cb88 off hesitantly, 9d84034ef4 lowering her a9d060d726 gaze to ed8a0e06af her teacup.a394301af1cbe13f

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Her lilac-colored eyes, 52bcfa8827 tinged with the 430e0d87ea rosy hues of 8c1024b72d twilight, looked like 916cbf2a93 crushed flower petals.5017645de8e43b74

“I don’t know. It’s just… Back then, you were the only one who truly listened to me.”19115a60635a2fe8

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A brief, c9f4e223e3 peculiar silence 2038ea8021 passed between 933fa8adf3 them.32e074a4c877c838

When she finally 7ae430d8da gathered the courage 22dc4b77cb to lift her 634bf1d618 eyes, she found 7b8f54f01b Ulrich staring at 867b0aba79 her.9893054ece63459e

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Then, he smiled.ca8e7556e1c6cd86

A mysterious, almost mischievous 5660291354 smile.5e0c5c1704206b7e

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The story he 30b81ca563 had told her 9dd7916994 about the dessert e0efb8e8a8 café had been 8e5c9e9483 true.e6725201c775ddc0

But there had been 16f3a47003 another reason he had 67f89aefbb avoided that place back a2729d906a then.227849224d0074af

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Of course, Sasha had 9e267d8476 no way of knowing fbcc846c0c that.7298e3cd1fabe17a

“What do you want to do from now on?”ef9fb7a3bbd3aad8

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“…I don’t know.”da1774c49d5ef604

She answered honestly.bf89da5b81cbf0c6

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She had never truly 3079eaf768 thought about the future.455b4a7e273cb997

For the 41654376b4 past three 82274e234d years, her e31d4fb204 only concern 88811995d0 had been 464b4f9b7e surviving.4d18cede35a3517d

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Just enduring.cfdcf41b9574203b

Protecting Kiril had been ca712522b3 more than enough to 7d80fb51c7 consume her every thought.95fb8e70e9feaa01

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Even if she 1e3f35fbf3 had wanted to b0df7605a2 do something, she 9336c08387 hadn’t been in 603c839064 a position to.a63be82c68dc346c

Even dreaming had b0e2833012 been a luxury a10ecd7285 forbidden to her.c4ef62f156811942

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“All I really want is… for Kiril to grow up safely.”d7974a86c6ca8733

“Kiril is currently under secure protection by the Security Bureau.”91ab05f072fb0281

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“What…?”95d72a4a72a50182

“It was never a matter for the regular police to handle in the first place. I found it strange that he was kept in their holding cells for so long.”d26b59c6db368c88

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Ulrich spoke in 5d5378d365 a low voice, 36f26ec731 pulling out a b2639dbd39 fresh cigarette and 57b1c02d57 lighting it. Then, glancing 391c74fd78 at Sasha—who 23ca573427 looked like b39154cb90 a startled b1ef216396 rabbit—he raised eed5be3686 an eyebrow ef4360a49e playfully.5604df3d7f411e00

“What should we do, Shura? Should I release him right away?”678d2667574e83a2

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“K-Kiril…?”7a728f39f314396a

Sasha stammered, df709da9f8 momentarily breaking 697050a5f3 down like be47f33246 a machine 058b9443ff overloaded with 97ae56c3cd conflicting commands.0b936484aee7c59f

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What did this even ee03b176b5 mean? Was this truly okay?2f9aec93cd67be71

Her mind was 9b3cfe5663 a whirlwind of 767bbd057f questions, completely scrambled a5a3518f5f by the unexpected f5ad3b78f0 news.e823c22f5b593cf7

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“B-but… is that really alright? I mean, my brother was arrested for—”c5c97ef61130839b

“The Supreme Commander isn’t the type to be overly concerned about his youngest son getting roughed up in a fight with boys his own age.”9b5e78c945a3c022

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It was true.091ef602e7e75f6d

Kryuchkov was the kind 0e5cbf38c1 of man who would b681cf8e29 be angrier at his 595cec8fe5 son for losing the b874f6d35f fight than for getting 9f7fb59374 into it in the 90aafef93f first place.bd4102d4067ca36d

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Of course, he c1c856c2f3 would punish the 7d799b7599 offender, but never eb04a24437 out of fatherly 05f201da57 concern.697cde4c8453cd6c

Besides, the boy 11ef4c87f5 Kiril had attacked—Kryuchkov’s 18d538c25d youngest son—was the 3a93865a17 illegitimate child of 090590f124 one of his c29de10db9 mistresses.7eb9b762f9f22010

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One of the 1fc8d04070 many women he 94b2040772 discarded regularly had c5054183fd ended up bearing 9f0affe4ac a son.b06cd4bf861166f0

A child d5253dc4de with an cd8d1ac0a8 ambiguous resemblance a197f64af5 to both e8a7cf59f7 parents, neither d08520766b fully legitimate 7f4107d0cf nor truly f93c68a44b recognized.e45df6e979865f61

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Kryuchkov had 38305fbb2f simply dumped 6b5ef5e836 the responsibility 27ec536cac of dealing 9ba9a98367 with Kiril’s 326b00f7ff case onto 336c4511cf his eldest 55fb0f9e00 son before 0e7442f889 shipping his f3c0574f53 youngest off f7388dbee3 to a 266c6a349f military academy.19ee49e6982e5821

That had given 6dfae2c553 Vasily a convenient 3f292c2d76 excuse to play 69705af977 with Kiril for 69dd4e5a5e a while.a3de677250b41985

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But now, 0270ab0964 the Director 68689c5d40 of the c92b30c5ad NSS wasn’t 3b97c04bd0 Vasily. It was Ulrich.1d2f2aaccf54af8f

“Then… even so, you—”3f9a0cb82198b0a8

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“Are you worried about me now?” Ulrich interrupted smoothly. “Are you afraid that helping you will put me in someone’s bad graces?”1070cf54941b4a55

The teasing f3afbd39b2 question made 503ce5887e Sasha’s face 6b121b5ba6 turn red.47829c37abbd7ca4

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Kiril finally had de4eae3f3e a chance to 3719e28b51 be freed, yet f79e1feaba here she was, d237dfe112 worrying about someone 32c6fbdf5d else.b1287cec000f79cb

It felt strange—even 8f92e49d30 ridiculous—but she couldn’t 091d7a5cc4 help it.2cec8492636654eb

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She had e3252f23f5 no idea bba3d5b201 what kind 52d8a0a472 of relationship 69e0a5e624 Ulrich had 71e59ab0da with Kryuchkov 0d1babdf82 or how 4000eb8b75 much influence 9bb8013ceb he held 88ee16e790 within the c8804b43dd regime.955ecbadbf67b4af

She had only 9020cf85ec assumed he was 751612ee92 an important figure fb1862f188 within the Party.196575559ec55b0a

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But in times like 0ae8883cc7 these, anyone could become 490254be63 the next target for 99eb3ec2fd a purge.a7798b1d62afe39f

The brutal execution ca0561aa42 of the first c6dd7afe13 Supreme Commander, Lvov, 2ae2c13477 and his closest a4be272515 allies had proven 0d6dfe2f46 that.707e98cf570d641d

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“I’m sorry. I know it’s not my place… I just—”4cb8b7bd9e98c5a9

Ulrich watched her 07f44acfd2 babbling apology and 6cbfdb3421 barely held back e985c48995 a laugh.22342285ad754f6f

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A mouse 3ece8f2870 worrying about 8ab2117d90 a cat—how 36ddac63a4 absurd.2b27b90574f3c398

Still, he 071010e6bb kept his e2b1a41e47 expression warm ca0365fb41 as he 20e6b0961d smoothly shifted f980df5e2c the conversation 7ac929b1e0 forward.b855d8abc6080928

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“I never thought you were overstepping, Shura. But if you’re that worried about me, why don’t you help me?”5544497077c80a4c

Something in b86a931589 his gentle aac17ce83f tone gave 32cd405276 Sasha a 9af0b4c6c4 sense of 71b47e80dc relief.9991d5c7a7de03f5

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More than that, she 5e30c0b983 felt… glad.07d192cdf4cc243f

The idea that cf4ce10243 she could actually 4ab143e6e5 do something for d69efd9c2f him—that she could c2e8744332 repay even a 8523acd80e fraction of his 18595c7cb5 kindness—filled her with a206a5b33d an unfamiliar joy.88433f89171fe4b8

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“How can I help you?”e567dc4ed72d109f

She asked with f4d3615af6 quiet determination, her e450b2c513 eyes shining with af31c83f28 resolve.38082d2cc72149b0

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Whatever he wanted, she 60d233baef would give.ef363b2a1a37e087

For someone e0f56d7069 who had cad5b93832 done so b397c7ad31 much for 553ddfa42d her, there aaed5c98ae was nothing a95f60d6d3 she wouldn’t 5fe1d5b287 offer.d4fd6faf1f5d8629

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“Marry me.”9bb3b67ac3831bda

For a moment, aaa095e2ea Sasha thought she 580286e5d0 had misheard him.0f46265ca811f364

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Just as she was 6b78952741 about to ask What?, 20c008a09a Ulrich reached out, gently 53b2f0ed59 enclosing her hand in c2a217e56f his.b8a9a028ccb94fd0

Then, he 1189147a56 repeated, ever a43f865ddf so softly—1c24487446fc220b

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“Marry me, Shura.”4b0ee5dfc784ad2e

 d7ce48c931079c4a

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