TM | Chapter 30

Yoon Sung was quietly staring at the stone tower when he picked up a small stone from the ground. He reached out to place it on top but didn’t know what to wish for. Should he wish for Kang Taegwon to have feelings for him? Or should he wish for Lee Seol to have feelings for him? Unable to wish for anything, he lowered his hand.

He recalled Kang Taegwon’s cold gaze when he suggested marriage. When Yoon Sung proposed, Kang Taegwon had said without hesitation that he was in love with Lee Seol. His gaze was not a lie.

Moreover, Kang Taegwon had been furious, worried that he might have said something harsh about Lee Seol. He had raised his voice, asking if Yoon Sung knew the depth of his long-standing affection.

How could such a gaze be shown to someone he intended to marry?

Yoon Sung let out a long, powerless sigh and sat down on a nearby rock.

If only Seol would change his mind. But it wouldn’t be easy since he had held Yoon Sung in his heart for so long. After all, Yoon Sung himself couldn’t let go of Kang Taegwon, whom he had only had feelings for over a year…

His insides were burning. He felt suffocated. His heart, unable to do anything, felt like it was being crushed by a thousand-pound iron weight. Sighs continued to escape him.

Perhaps because he had cried a lot, his eyelids felt heavy. He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned his gaze to the sky. Under the warm spring sunlight, he watched the clouds drift slowly across the blue sky, feeling the cold wind.

“Sung-ah.”

A voice suddenly called out, and he turned his head. A butterfly with white wings was fluttering toward him from afar. As soon as he realized it, Lee Seol flew in front of him and lifted him high. Startled, Yoon Sung wrapped his arms around Lee Seol’s neck, causing the bamboo hat covering Lee Seol’s face to fall off.

The fluttering veil blew back, revealing his dazzling face. The gaze that appeared for a moment was chilling, but before he could realize it, Lee Seol buried his face in Yoon Sung’s chest. Looking down at him as he took a deep breath, Yoon Sung lifted the veil caught on his fingertips. As he adjusted the veil and bamboo hat, he heard Lee Seol mumbling softly.

“It’s true.”

“Huh?”

“I like the natural scent. I don’t like any scent other than yours.”

“…What are you saying? Put me down.”

Yoon Sung grabbed a few strands of Lee Seol’s hair, which was buried in his chest, and pulled them. Then he turned around as something hard touched his back. The corner of a hanji box wrapped in silk was resting near his hip.

As Yoon Sung squirmed, Lee Seol slowly lifted his head from Yoon Sung’s chest. Lee Seol, with a happy smile, was about to put Yoon Sung down when his eyes widened.

“Who is it?”

“Huh?”

“Who hit you?”

In Lee Seol’s low voice, Yoon Sung touched his cheek. It seemed the mark from being hit by his hyung-nim was still there.

“…Older brother.”

“Why?”

After a moment’s hesitation, Yoon Sung answered, and Lee Seol’s question, filled with anger, immediately followed. His fingers gently brushed the swollen area around Yoon Sung’s eyes. Glancing at him, Yoon Sung noticed the sharpness in his eyes. A few days after showing such a gaze, Kim Hojun, who had been teasing and bothering him, had lost an eye.

“He’s my brother. Don’t get any strange ideas.”

When Yoon Sung spoke firmly, Lee Seol’s eyes turned to the sky, dissatisfied.

“So why did he hit you?”

“…I talked back.”

“Why did you talk back?”

“I came home late. He told me to come home early… I rebelled.”

Finally understanding, Lee Seol’s eyes quietly observed Yoon Sung.

“Even so, how could he hit your face?”

“You once hit both my cheeks and made my nose bleed when I said I didn’t like you.”

“…”

Lee Seol awkwardly laughed and averted his gaze.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. I came here to make a wish.”

Seeing Yoon Sung’s puzzled eyes, Lee Seol’s gaze changed slightly before returning. It was the look he always had when he lied or changed his expression, but maybe because Yoon Sung couldn’t fully open his eyes due to the swelling, he could see the change in Lee Seol’s gaze too clearly. He didn’t know why Lee Seol was lying, but he didn’t particularly want to press him about it. Knowing would only disturb his own peace.

Leaning against the rock, Lee Seol lifted Yoon Sung by the waist and sat him on the rock. Then, lightly stepping up, he sat beside him. Meeting Yoon Sung’s eyes, Lee Seol smiled, his eyes crinkling. He then opened the hanji box and offered the octagonal box with both hands.

Yoon Sung, accustomed to this, accepted it with both hands and nodded in gratitude. He was used to Lee Seol giving him gifts, and since they were always things he needed, he accepted them gratefully.

Feeling dry-mouthed after crying, he hoped for some sweet candy or taffy as he opened the octagonal box. Unexpectedly, there was a silver sangtugwan inside. He turned it around in his palm, and Lee Seol’s buoyant voice echoed in his ear.

“How is it? Do you like it?”

“…Why would you give me this?”

“Since we’ve shared a room, you should put your hair up.”

“…”

He wanted to ask why he should put his hair up when they weren’t even married, but there wasn’t really a reason not to.

“I’ll do it for you.”

“Now?”

Lee Seol, smiling brightly, reached for Yoon Sung’s hair. He gathered Yoon Sung’s not-so-long hair and kept fiddling with it.

“It’s a bit short.”

Lee Seol muttered as he looked at the hair that wouldn’t tie. He gathered about half of it and lifted it to the crown, placed the sangtugwan, and inserted a pin, but it slipped down quickly, perhaps due to his lack of skill.

“Can I not do it because it’s a hassle?”

“Hmm… I wasn’t satisfied with the craftsmanship anyway. I’ll ask them to craft it with mother-of-pearl and silver in a floral pattern.”

The word “craftsmanship” made Yoon Sung’s eyes widen. There were only a few artisans who crafted gold or jade, and he had entrusted the crafting of Kang Taegwon’s ring to the best one in the neighboring village, the Baek family’s grandfather. Although it was unlikely, Lee Seol, who was to marry him, must not find out that he had entrusted the crafting of a ring. Before drinking the engagement blood vow, he had clearly answered no when asked if he had someone else in his heart.

“No! I like this. I’ll grow my hair. If I grow it before the wedding, I can do it.”

He held the slipping sangtugwan tightly on his head with both hands. Bringing it close to his eyes, he spoke as if in admiration.

“Wow, I really like it. I should give you a gift too.”

As he awkwardly trailed off, Lee Seol reached out and cupped Yoon Sung’s face with both hands.

“Sung-ah. You’ve already given me a great gift.”

“What gift did I give you?”

Lee Seol smiled silently and pulled Yoon Sung into his lap.

“…Am I the gift?”

“Yes.”

Seeing Lee Seol answer so confidently, as if it were obvious, made Yoon Sung’s hands and feet curl. Embarrassed, he turned his head as his face heated up.

“Aren’t you embarrassed to say things like that? I’m embarrassed.”

“Why are you embarrassed?”

Lee Seol, as if he truly didn’t understand, widened his eyes and patted the outside of Yoon Sung’s thigh, as if comforting a child.

“I’m not a kid. Why are you doing this…”

“Can’t you be a kid sometimes?”

“What?”

He didn’t understand why Lee Seol was suddenly saying such things. When he glared at him with narrowed eyes, Lee Seol lowered his gaze.

“We don’t have kids. Sometimes we have to be kids for each other.”

“…”

Lee Seol lightly tapped his forehead against Yoon Sung’s and gently hugged him.

“When I was young, I thought it was natural not to have kids, but seeing you changed my mind. Watching you splash around in the water, seeing you cry with a runny nose… At some point, I started thinking it would be nice to have a child who resembles both of us…”

“…”

A child…

Yoon Sung had thought about it too. A daughter who resembles Lee Seol. But if she had his personality…

Yoon Sung glanced at Lee Seol.

I’ve already sent her off to get married.

He clicked his tongue inwardly and quietly watched him. Lee Seol wrapped his arm around Yoon Sung’s waist and, after glancing around, pulled the hanji box closer and took out the clothes inside.

“So, could you wear this for me?”

He pulled out a pine-colored silk garment and offered it to Yoon Sung.

“This is a color that Cheondung or Kkotnim would wear. Why do you always make clothes in this color? Even before.”

Annoyed, Yoon Sung snatched the clothes and stuffed them back into the box.

“You sold the clothes I gave you as a gift back then. I checked every pattern I wanted to embroider and had it made.”

His words, sounding hurt, reminded Yoon Sung of the day he was forced to wear clothes that looked like a chick. Lee Seol had kept throwing him into the lake, pestering him to wear them. He even tore Yoon Sung’s clothes, which he took home to use as rags.

Annoying thoughts crept up.

Should I sell it again? Maybe I’ll trade it for some taffy.

“Sung-ah. This is my heart. Please accept it this time.”

“…”

“Could you wear it just when we’re alone?”

“…Okay.”

As soon as Yoon Sung reluctantly agreed, Lee Seol beamed and hugged him. Even though it was a color he disliked, the fact that Yoon Sung accepted it for him filled Lee Seol’s heart with joy.

Perhaps he hugged too tightly, as Yoon Sung groaned in his embrace, and Lee Seol loosened his arms, resting his face on Yoon Sung’s neck. As he brought his lips to the bruise he had left, Yoon Sung pulled back.

Seeing Yoon Sung’s awkward movements, Lee Seol touched the bruise. Smiling with his eyes crinkled, he touched it with his fingers. His voice, playful, flowed out.

“You got bitten by a bug.”

“R-Really? No wonder it stings.”

Lee Seol’s eyes, which had been crinkled, slowly opened. His sharp gaze turned to the flustered Yoon Sung. It was a bruise he had left. He had secretly made it overnight, and Yoon Sung knew it but pretended not to. No, he hoped Yoon Sung wouldn’t know.

A wrinkle formed on Lee Seol’s smooth forehead. The actions of Kang Taegwon and Yoon Sung over the past two days replayed in his mind.

Yoon Sung, who cried, saying he was startled by a snake in the mountains. Kang Taegwon, who said he was with him in the mountains. Yoon Sung, who declared a break in friendship despite being close friends for a year. Kang Taegwon, who said it was a misunderstanding.

Kang Taegwon, who looked at Yoon Sung, his fiancé, with the same heated gaze he had for Lee Seol. Kang Taegwon, who chose Yoon Sung’s sangtugwan. Even when Lee Seol spoke with a captivating smile, Kang Taegwon focused only on the content, not his face. Kang Taegwon.

Kang. Tae. Gwon.