TL | Chapter 36 | The One in Front of Me is You

“When did you get here?”

Seowon took a deep breath, as if trying to shake off the remnants of sleep, but soon winced in pain. Although he didn’t groan, and his expression only twisted for a brief moment before he acted as if nothing was wrong, Iden, who had been watching him intently, stiffened.

“And the job you had to take care of? Did you handle it?”

Seowon changed the subject, but Iden remained silent, not offering any answer. Whether Seowon was genuinely curious or just fishing for information was unclear, and Iden didn’t feel like responding either. When no answer came, Seowon stared at him for a moment before looking away.

“Was that guy a professional killer? Or just another thug from a rival gang?”

“…”

“I got shot by that bastard. Can’t you at least tell me who it was?”

“…A killer.”

Reluctantly, Iden answered, and Seowon let out a small sigh.

“And the client? Did you find out who it was?”

“No.”

“I figured it wouldn’t be that easy.”

Fortunately, Seowon only seemed disappointed they couldn’t identify the client; he didn’t ask how Iden had dealt with the killer.

“Is there any way to trace them?”

“Not for now. They blocked all our tracking routes as soon as the job failed because of how messy things got.”

“Yeah…”

Seowon sighed and winced again. Iden reached out and placed a hand over Seowon’s eyes.

“Get some more sleep. The medication should still be working. If you’re struggling, ask for a sedative.”

At the mention of a sedative, Seowon let out a dry laugh, as if he found it absurd.

“Don’t treat me like I’m on death’s door. It’s just a small fracture.”

“You could’ve died.”

Iden’s voice grew cold, and Seowon, sensing the shift in mood, gazed at him steadily.

“Sorry for worrying you.”

The instant apology made Iden’s expression visibly distort.

“But I didn’t die.”

“You really…!”

Iden’s bottled-up emotions suddenly burst forth, but he caught himself, taking a deep breath to swallow the rest of his words.

Seowon watched him, a faint smile appearing on his lips. He understood how much Iden had worried, but he was still glad to see Iden unharmed.

“Does this amuse you?”

“Well… It feels like we got through a rough patch. You’re safe, and so am I.”

“And you call this safe…?”

Iden’s brows furrowed again.

“This will be fine in a few days.”

“For now, stay out of security work. No going out, either.”

“Isn’t that a bit much? Are you planning to lock me up?”

“Honestly, I’d love nothing more than to lock you away on some deserted island.”

The sincerity in Iden’s tone made it hard for Seowon to brush it off lightly. He realized that Iden might actually be serious.

“That card key you gave me ended up being used for something else entirely, huh.”

Seeing his own jacket hanging on the coat rack, Seowon seized the chance to change the subject. He motioned toward the jacket pocket, and Iden let out a short sigh.

“With you in this state, it’s not what I want, either.”

“Stop with the nonsense and just get some rest.”

“You started the nonsense by giving me the card key.”

“Let’s be clear—you’re the one who mentioned ‘sex partner’ first.”

Seowon had nothing to say to that and fell silent, embarrassed, turning his head to avoid Iden’s gaze. Iden sighed deeply, as he had been doing since he arrived. Seowon figured it was because he was holding back words he wanted to say.

“It’s not like you think.”

Seowon muttered this as if talking to himself, turning his head away from Iden. Iden didn’t press him for clarification, but the silence was more unsettling.

“It wasn’t because of the heat cycle or some need for a sex partner.”

He tried to clarify his words, yet Iden still said nothing.

“I could handle the heat cycle with suppressants.”

In fact, he’d already asked Jian to help him find some suppressants.

“I just needed an excuse.”

As he spoke, he felt a strange resentment that he had to explain himself. If he didn’t plan on staying here, he could leave Iden to interpret things however he wanted. But it bothered him to see Iden hurt and upset over the term “sex partner.”

“I couldn’t refuse you… not because you’re Iden, but because I feel guilty towards your ‘Ha Seowon’.”

As he said this, Iden suddenly shifted, leaning over Seowon, his hands resting beside Seowon’s face as he looked down from inches away.

“My Ha Seowon?”

Iden quietly echoed his words. Seowon, unable to turn on his side due to the pain in his back, had no choice but to meet Iden’s intense gaze head-on. The proximity was too close for him to look away.

“The one in front of me right now… is you.”

“…”

In Iden’s eyes, he could see his own reflection. There was no hesitation in Iden’s gaze; he looked solely and unwaveringly at Seowon.

“I…”

“Are you going to say you’re not that Ha Seowon? Then who are you?”

Seowon fell silent at the question. What else could he say? His name was Ha Seowon, and that was his identity.

“Whether you came from another world or the afterlife, you’re Ha Seowon.”

When Seowon didn’t answer, Iden filled in the answer himself.

“That’s all I need.”

Iden’s determined response lingered in the air as he continued to stare at Seowon, almost devouring him with his gaze. Once he finally moved back, Seowon let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

As the distance grew, Seowon’s thoughts became more tangled. Just as he couldn’t see Iden and Iden Hyung as the same person, he couldn’t fully see himself as the same as the Ha Seowon of this world. Yet, Iden kept insisting they were the same.

Maybe… what Iden needed was a substitute for his Ha Seowon, Seowon wondered, unable to shake the doubt.

“I…”

He opened his mouth, only to regret it immediately. What was he trying to say? Why even bring it up?

“Speak.”

Noticing that Seowon was about to swallow his words, Iden urged him to continue. Seowon met Iden’s gaze, then looked away.

“Am I… similar to the Ha Seowon you knew?”

He realized it was pointless to retract his words now. Besides, it wasn’t an unreasonable question.

“Isn’t it strange to ask if you’re similar?”

Iden frowned. Even the fingerprint scanner on his door lock had recognized Seowon; their fingerprints were identical. It wasn’t just similar—it was exactly the same.

“I mean, not looks or physiology, but personality, speech patterns, and behaviors.”

Iden resembled Iden Hyung in some ways but differed in many others, which was why Seowon couldn’t fully equate him with his former lover. Each time he noticed a difference, it forced him to separate them in his mind, making the reality hit harder.

So he couldn’t understand why Iden was so adamant about identifying him as Ha Seowon. Was it just because their faces were the same or because their pheromones matched as Marked Partners?

“You’re different. Quite a lot.”

Iden answered calmly.

“Then how can you accept me so easily?”

Seowon asked, letting out a dry laugh.

“…”

Iden didn’t respond. His face was unreadable as he continued to look at Seowon.

“I’m not here to be a stand-in for the lover you lost.”

As he spoke, Seowon’s emotions became clearer. He disliked the idea of confusing Iden with Iden Hyung, but he also hated the thought of being seen as a replacement for Iden’s Ha Seowon. Even if he was the only one who could elicit that kind of reaction as a Marked Partner, a relationship without genuine feelings felt no different than a mere sexual partnership. Maybe that’s why he had blurted out the term “sex partner.”

“Too much of a hassle to be a stand-in.”

Iden’s response made him flinch. If he didn’t even qualify as a stand-in, then why keep him around? Or was he merely tolerating Seowon’s presence because he knew he had no place to go, his status here as good as a dead man?

“Then why go out of your way to protect me? You, of all people, know your Iden Hyung is already dead. You’re the one who said I’m different from your lover.”

Iden’s gaze was fixed squarely on him as he continued.

“Saving me won’t bring your Marked Partner back. And you know that better than anyone.”

Seowon had no words in response. Iden was right. No one understood the difference between Iden and Iden Hyung more than he did, and he knew that no matter how hard he tried, a dead person wouldn’t return.

“Maybe… it’s just for my own satisfaction.”

He swallowed back the bitterness and answered. What had happened couldn’t be undone. That’s why he wanted to protect Iden, at least.

“So, you’re saying you do think of me as someone else’s stand-in?”

Seowon’s eyes wavered with surprise at the unexpected question. No, he didn’t think of it that way. While protecting Iden did ease the gaping wound in his heart, it wasn’t merely a means of satisfaction. It was something a little different. He simply wanted to protect Iden, the one in front of him now.

“Are you truly seeing me?”

Iden gripped Seowon’s chin, holding him still as their eyes locked. Seowon couldn’t blink, couldn’t look away.

“I’m looking at you, the Ha Seowon of now. Just as you are.”

Iden spoke with a firmness that seemed to engrave his words into Seowon’s mind.