TL | Chapter 1 | Loss, and Discovery

Bang! Bang!

The echo of two gunshots stretched out, freezing my view in place. Colors began to drain from the scenery before me, turning everything into a bleak, gray world. In that ashen space, the sight of someone lying on the ground, bleeding red, was so vividly clear it seemed unreal.

Ah… no… no…

It felt like I’d swallowed a chunk of charcoal, with my throat burning up. My heartbeat thudded in my chest, feeling like it might burst, but no sound came out. Step by step, I walked toward him, but there was no feeling in my legs. Actually, it was like my whole body had gone numb.

Thud. I collapsed to my knees, and the pool of blood on the floor began to soak through my pants.

This can’t be happening. Why… why did it have to come to this?

Maybe I should’ve told him not to go when he said he was heading to the United States. But there was no reason to stop him from going to meet his father after so many years.

No, there was a reason. The moment I found out his father was an Italian-American mafia boss, I’d felt uneasy. The reason his father had called him back from South Korea, where he’d been living with his mother, was obvious from the start.

I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve kept him from leaving. If I had, then he wouldn’t have ended up getting shot in the States…

Get up… You promised me. You said… you’d stay by my side for life.

The words that echoed in my throat didn’t come out as sound. A prickling pain built up behind my eyes, and tears started trailing down my cheeks. My shoulders shook, and my whole body trembled with silent sobs.

Ugh… ugh…

The suppressed groan felt like it was burning my heart. It hurt so much, unbearably so, that I raised my right hand to claw at my chest, but the pain didn’t lessen at all.

On that day, Seowon lost his one and only soulmate in the world. Right in front of his eyes, unable to do a thing.
•

Gasp.

A harsh breath escaped as my eyes shot open.

[…tonight, the full moon and lunar eclipse overlap…]

The sound of what seemed like the news came from the TV I’d left on, but I couldn’t make out a word of what they were saying. Seowon lay there, staring at the white ceiling without even blinking. He stayed frozen for a long time before he finally took a slow, shaky breath, the ache in his heart fading just a little. At the same time, tears streamed from the corners of his eyes, wetting the pillow beneath him.

The same dream kept repeating every night. In that dream, he always died in the same place, in the same way. It wasn’t a dream—it was a memory. Just a month ago, that had been the last sight Seowon had of him in the United States.

He clenched his teeth, trying to swallow the tears, but it was pointless. Once the tears started flowing, they never stopped easily. The silent stream of tears soon turned into soft sobs.

His heart still hurt, unbearably so. He couldn’t forget those eyes that had looked at him before he died, imprinted in his memory like a mark. It had only been a month, far too short a time to accept the absence of someone he’d thought he’d spend his whole life with.

His own face had been so vividly reflected in those widened eyes. He’d been right there but hadn’t been able to protect him; the regret piled up every day until sometimes he could barely breathe. It all felt like his fault.

“My father wants me to come. I kept putting it off, but I think I have to go this time.”

I should have known when he said that with a bitter expression. His father—the mafia boss he’d practically cut ties with—had only sought him out because he needed an heir. To someone like him, who’d lived a normal life with his mother in South Korea, that position had been no different from a death sentence from the beginning.

I’d been uneasy from the start. So I told him I’d go with him. He’d smiled awkwardly, as if feeling guilty, but he’d also looked relieved and said he’d be happy if I went along.

I thought I could protect him if I stayed by his side. I didn’t realize until after I lost him how naïve and arrogant that thought was.

“Hic…”

A sob built up, slipping through his clenched teeth. He’d cried so much already that he wondered if he might just dry up, but the tears still didn’t stop.

“I miss you… I miss you so much, I feel like I’ll die.”

He didn’t know how to go on living. He was Seowon’s first love, his everything. From the moment they’d met, Seowon had felt fate, and when they met again after several years, it felt only natural to fall in love. And without a hint of hesitation, he’d marked with him.

Even now, at the moment of losing him, he didn’t regret marking with him. If it wasn’t him, then he couldn’t love anyone else anyway.

If it wasn’t him…

Seowon, half out of his mind, got out of bed and stumbled toward the door. He barely slipped on his shoes and stepped outside, wandering without a clear destination. He didn’t know where he was going; he just kept walking wherever his feet took him.

Who knows how long he walked. Eventually, he found himself at the park where they’d gone together so many times. It was past midnight, and the park was empty. Only a few streetlights scattered here and there lit up the darkness.

He continued to walk through the park, where he couldn’t feel a trace of anyone’s presence. In the innermost part of the park was a large lake. In the daytime, it looked calm and blue, but at night, it resembled a pitch-black swamp.

When he looked up at the sky, as always, there was no light in the cloudy Seoul night. Only a red moon hung in the center of the sky.

It looked like a blood-soaked moon. The sight of that red moon brought back memories of his blood-covered body, and he squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. Slowly, he caught his breath and opened his eyes to the darkened lake.

I can’t do this anymore. I don’t have it in me. So…

Take me, too. Take me to where he is.

It felt like someone was tugging at his hand. He didn’t care who it was, even if it was the devil whispering. He couldn’t bear another second in this world without him.

He stepped toward the lake. The water rose from his ankles to his waist in an instant. Still, he didn’t stop walking. Eventually, his whole body was submerged, and he let himself sink deeper into the water, not fighting it at all. He had no will to live. If this could finally bring him peace, he thought it wouldn’t be so bad.

Ripples spread over the spot where Seowon sank. In the center of those ripples, the red moon shimmered. A crimson glow spread from the point where the moon’s reflection began, intensifying inside the lake until it formed a bright light. The red glow that colored the whole lake then vanished as if it had never been there.

The lake returned to its original, calm state. As if nothing had happened, not even the slightest ripple appeared.

**

“It’s late. You should head back now…”

Iden glanced sideways at Min, who had spoken, but gave no response or movement. Min, too, refrained from repeating himself, only standing a couple of steps back with his head lowered.

Iden’s gaze rested on the pitch-black lake. It felt different from when he’d seen it during the day. He’d once thought it was peaceful, gazing at its blue water, but now it only radiated an eerie stillness, as if it were ready to swallow a person whole.

How one sees and feels something always depends on their state of mind. The lake remained the same, but Iden was not the same person he’d been a month ago. One month ago. Remembering that day, he clenched his fist tightly. His jawline hardened as he bit back the rage boiling inside.

“Your boss has asked you to return now.”

Min added again. Once more, Iden said nothing. Even if he hadn’t told him to return, he would’ve gone back soon anyway. He no longer had any reason to remain here. He’d only come to South Korea for one reason.

To hand over his lover’s body to his family and hold a funeral.

It had been some time since the funeral, but he lingered in South Korea out of sheer attachment. Even though he’d seen him die before his very eyes and watched his body vanish in the flames, it still didn’t feel real.

The fury and regret that burned in his heart and mind refused to cool. It was the first time he’d lost something he thought belonged to him.

“Live… live for me… live my share, too… Sorry… for disappointing you like this…”

Even as he took his last breath in Iden’s arms, “he” had worried about Iden’s safety rather than his own. That fading voice was etched into his ears, haunting him.

In his clenched fist, his nails dug into his palm, sending a sharp pain through his hand. Enough. He’d dwelled in regret long enough. Now it was time to go back and seek revenge.

“Over there…”

Min, who’d been standing behind Iden, suddenly stretched his arm out, pointing to something. Iden followed his gaze and saw a dark figure lying on the lakeshore.

A person? In a place like this?

It was past midnight. This wasn’t a suitable spot for a drunkard to have passed out.

Could someone have dumped a body here?

The thought made him frown instinctively.

“Go check it out.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to just go back…?”

Ignoring Min’s hesitation, he gestured for him to go investigate.

“Director!”

Min’s voice rang with urgency as he examined the dark figure. The unusual tone in his voice made Iden’s eyes narrow.

“I think you’d better come see this.”

Min’s voice was clearly trembling. Iden slowly walked over and kneeled down beside the limp figure, turning to look at the face. His eyes widened instantly.

Ha Seowon.

The very same lover who had taken a bullet in his place and died, whose cremation he’d witnessed with his own eyes a month ago.