TIOAWN Chapter 22

My dad ruined that person. No, was it really my dad who ruined them? Wasn’t it me, who ignored reality and knew nothing?

 

No matter what I did, I couldn’t bring a dead person back to life. I couldn’t undo the ruined life of that person. 

 

Even if I had foolishly stayed home and only painted, I could at least understand that much.

 

It felt as if my blood had stopped flowing, and my heart was clogged. My throat tightened, and my vision turned hazy, as if shrouded in mist. My whole body, from my toes to my fingertips, turned cold.

 

An inexplicable guilt crawled up from my toes and hammered at my head.

 

I had to do something—anything.

 

Ha-yoon covered her mouth with both hands and took a deep breath before speaking in a trembling voice. 

 

“I-I’m sorry…”

 

Moo-geon’s eyebrows furrowed sharply. 

 

What did Seo Ha-yoon just say? Did I mishear her? 

 

“I’m sorry. I sincerely apologize.”

 

Her faint, wavering voice trailed off like a thin thread, barely holding together.

 

Moo-geon’s brow crumpled into a mess. It felt as though a burning lump clogged his throat, making his breathing rough. 

 

Seo Ha-yoon…

 

He swallowed the name that almost slipped out of his lips as he watched Ha-yoon bow her upper body.

 

Even as her shoulders quivered, Ha-yoon stubbornly bent herself in half. Watching her, Moo-geon clenched his fists.

 

“Seo Ha-yoon.”

 

His voice carried a cold anger as he suppressed a sigh and stared icily at Ha-yoon’s behavior.

 

You’re apologizing? Now?

 

In front of a corpse burned so badly it was unrecognizable, you’re saying you’re sorry, you are apologizing, that it’s your fault? You are begging now?

 

His scalp tingled as if boiling water was bubbling beneath it. The more Ha-yoon’s small body leaned forward, the more Moo-geon’s nerves frayed, scraping and snapping. 

 

There’s a limit to how much one should do things that weren’t asked for. His jaw muscles stiffened. 

 

“What are they…”

 

A man, oblivious to the tense atmosphere, tried to speak, but Kang-heon grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

 

Even with the murmuring around them and the oppressive aura radiating from Moo-geon, Ha-yoon maintained her stance unwaveringly.

 

“What are you doing right now?” 

 

Moo-geon grabbed her frail wrist and twisted it, but she didn’t budge. Ha-yoon stubbornly held her ground.

 

Since she couldn’t bring the dead back to life or pretend not to know her guilt, she decided to beg in this way.

 

Even as her wrist turned red, Ha-yoon left it as it was, bracing her trembling legs to stand firm.

 

“I asked you, what are you doing?” 

 

Moo-geon growled through clenched teeth.

 

Moo-geon’s ominous aura made the men observing the scene bow their heads deeply. Even Kang-heon took a step back and held his breath. Moo-geon moved closer to Ha-yoon.

 

“I want to apologize.”

 

The words came out of her mouth like nonsense, stabbing into Moo-geon’s ears instead of bouncing off. The more she spoke, the more his anger surged.

 

“So, why—why are you doing this?”

 

His voice was rough, as if he would slap her at any moment. His throat bobbed as he held back the emotions threatening to explode. The veins on his forehead and neck bulged vividly.

 

You’re driving me to the edge.

 

You’re forcing me to turn the blame on you.

 

Looking at Ha-yoon, who was doing something no one asked for, Moo-geon clenched his fists tightly. The snake tattoo writhed as if ready to bite at any moment.

 

“Who do you think you are?”

 

His jaw clenched, his raw emotions trapped in his mouth.

 

“Because of me… someone died, didn’t they?”

 

Gulp. As Ha-yoon choked on her words under the sharp tension, Moo-geon’s nose nearly touched hers.

 

His red lips twitched as if he were about to bite down on her lips at any moment.

 

“So?”

 

So, you should crawl on your knees. Collapse weakly to the ground and beg pitifully, miserably. Shake your head as if you can’t bear it. Rub your hands together, grab at the hems of pants, and declare you’re not at fault.

 

Not with this pathetic excuse of an apology.

 

Moo-geon tucked Ha-yoon’s hair, blown loose by the wind, behind her ear and slowly swept down her nape before pressing firmly on her shoulder with one hand.

 

His thumb pressed into her collarbone, and Ha-yoon’s forehead crumpled miserably.

 

“Ah.”

 

Even at her faint groan, Moo-geon didn’t loosen his grip. Instead, he pressed harder, as if to crush her.

 

“Then… what should I do? How can I… make things easier for them, even just a little?”

 

Ha-yoon stammered as if carefully selecting her words after much deliberation.

 

She said she’d do anything if she could. Her tone was desperate and earnest.

 

Unable to handle the situation unfolding, her lower lip trembled as she bit down on it, staring at Moo-geon.

 

Confusion shimmered in her wide, round eyes.

 

No matter how much she racked her brain, she couldn’t figure out what to do. Her chest felt stifled, and her fingertips grew colder.

 

The overwhelming pressure crushed her, leaving her feeling like her entire body had been pounded into pulp. Overcome by the sensation, Ha-yoon tightly shut her eyes and reopened them.

 

Someone died because of me. Is this really the best I can do?

 

Is bowing and lowering my head all I can manage?

 

Am I… this useless again?

 

“Should I… kneel?”

 

No words, no matter how carefully chosen, would ever be enough. But she had to do something. 

 

As Ha-yoon bent her knees halfway, a harsh voice cut through the air.  

 

“Do you find everything that easy?”  

 

At the unmistakably mocking tone, her legs buckled, and she staggered.  

 

She couldn’t kneel, nor could she stand upright. Watching her awkward stance, he twisted his lips.  

 

If apologizing of her own accord was this easy, how much easier would it be if I demanded it?  

 

Moo-geon placed a hand on his waist and let out a long breath.  

 

The curiosity he had about how she’d react upon learning that he’d received the heart meant for Cha So-eun was gone.  

 

She would probably bow her head flat to the ground, mumbling apologies like, “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” over and over again, like a parrot.  

 

It grated on him. It twisted his insides.  

 

Moo-geon ran a rough hand through his bangs. His chest heaved with intense emotions, rising and falling repeatedly.  

 

“It isn’t… easy.”  

 

Despite the pain, Ha-yoon forced out her words.  

 

“I really—”  

 

“So annoying.”  

 

At Moo-geon’s sharp response, Ha-yoon, who had been staring at the ground, gasped as if she’d been stabbed.  

 

The words pierced straight through her heart.  

 

Her desperate emotions crashed to the ground.  

 

This isn’t right. What should I do? What else can I do?  

 

Seo Ha-yoon, think.  

 

While Ha-yoon was engulfed in confusion, Moo-geon removed the hand pressing against her collarbone. Without hesitation.  

 

The awkward twist of her lips and the reflection of her image in his dark pupils disappeared without a trace.  

 

“Why…”  

 

Before Ha-yoon’s question could reach him, Moo-geon turned his body. She extended her hand, trying to grab even the edge of his clothes, but it was futile.  

 

“Cha Moo… Cha Moo-geon.”  

 

Ha-yoon couldn’t hide the tremor in her voice. Despite that, Moo-geon gave no reaction.  

 

“Are.. Are you just going to leave a person here like this?”  

 

Moo-geon’s steps, which had been heading forward with resolute determination, stopped.  

 

“What?”  

 

Without even looking back, he muttered in a voice darker than twilight.  

 

“If you leave like this, what about the body? It might rot… Or maybe we should report it to the police—”  

 

“Ha.”  

 

Ha-yoon’s continuing words were cut off with nothing more than a scoff.  

 

As if there was no need for further conversation, Moo-geon continued walking without turning back.  

 

As Kang-heon, who had been quietly observing, silently followed after Moo-geon, the other men hurried their steps without sparing Ha-yoon a glance.  

 

As she stared at the broad backs receding into the distance, a sharp ringing pierced her ears, and her vision blurred. Ha-yoon blinked hard, trying to focus while pressing strength into her trembling legs.  

 

Prove yourself worthy enough for me to feed and clothe you, Seo Ha-yoon. Before I throw you away.

 

The voice, brimming with disdain, buzzed in her ears.  

 

“Is it because I failed to prove my worth properly?”  

 

Ah.  

 

Ha-yoon couldn’t finish her thought and stumbled after them, but by then, the distance had grown significantly.  

 

Moo-geon was heading toward the car they’d come in.  

 

“Ha—”  

 

Running made her chest tighten painfully. She could barely lift her head, unable to keep her tilted upper body upright.  

 

Was he really going to leave her behind?  

 

The sound of a car door slamming shut was deafening, even from a distance.  

 

“No.”  

 

Being left alone on this vast beach was terrifying.  

 

Before she could even think, Ha-yoon dashed forward. Her slippers fell off, and her knees wobbled as the car began to pull away smoothly.  

 

Get out.

 

The voice from the day she was thrown out of the house echoed like the wind.  

 

No.  

 

Her heart, which had been racing from the run, now pounded with anxiety. Ha-yoon’s face turned increasingly pale with despair. She stretched out her arms, reaching into the empty air.  

 

She clenched and unclenched her fists repeatedly. Her actions, both powerless and desperate, repeated over and over.  

 

Ha-yoon slowly opened her clenched fist. The reality that her empty palm held nothing struck her.  

 

“Did he really… leave me?”  

 

She felt as though Cha Moo-geon’s warmth still lingered in her hand, yet he had completely disappeared before her eyes.  

 

The memories of the previous night, which clung to her like an afterimage, the sensations that had left no gaps between them, now seemed like nothing but a delusion.  

 

She had been abandoned.  

 

Everything about the situation felt unreal.  

 

What now?  

 

How am I supposed to live?  

 

Can I even… go on living?  

 

The feeling of being abandoned in this vast, deserted sea was incomparable to being cast out in front of her house. It was overwhelmingly despairing.  

 

Crash. Crash.  

 

Only the waves acknowledged her existence. Her nerves froze with unexpected fear.