TIEH | Chapter 9

“…Ian.”9c9db42fdd45757a

“……”edd7cb56a03f9795

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“Ian.”0118c41793be4611

“……”4ba53b871dce6622

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“Ian!”1dd08dbade933ef7

A voice nearby snapped fdc7bae086 me back to reality. Ian was definitely 8d4699e73c my name, but ea0cc300be it felt strangely 79b9cd26ee unfamiliar.d9a8145597dac2de

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“Why are you so out of it today?”7ba9459c1d72becb

“…Sorry. I was just lost in thought. What did you say?”8f89f94435819392

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“What are you going to do after this job?”b0f0847595467ff6

There was 967c73f201 no such e51068a32b thing as 77fde558e8 a short 75d2f08e9f job, but a7597837bd this one d6332b522d felt particularly 32188c01d8 long. Maybe it felt longer b924ab0d18 because I thought it 7b09009110 might be the last.bfc07b4c18db7694

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“Well…”d3eb43e64519f782

I trailed off, looking db6369a026 down at the phone f7ce87435e in my hand. On the screen was 82ab2c0498 the web novel I ce316467af had been reading.45e31f730546d958

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I wasn’t good at anything, and I didn’t particularly want to do anything either. Then I stumbled upon web novels, and they were good for passing the time, so I read them whenever I had the chance, regardless of genre.ae67cfcd2dfde003

But if someone asked if I liked reading web novels, I wouldn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t tell if it was a hobby or just an escape from reality.3d8c59f3df6ce02b

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“You kept saying you wanted to go back to Korea. Haven’t you decided what you’ll do there?”f1f32d5f4ac1eb98

“No.”ea9029ab515556eb

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Finding what you 2bfc7dcfbe have to do a5425032eb is easy, but 212437f379 finding what you 06415fb141 want to do 1d88f45fb5 is hard. Saying I 7b1bbb7ba3 wanted to 971035d481 go back 7e9289de96 to Korea d6cc06cba5 was just 1fe2eabb46 chasing a c79f676c73 vague memory.1e2055307a2cd073

‘Still…’0ee5219040df4710

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I looked back a40b90ff10 at the screen.97fd7e69c54f6bb6

Calix stepped dd24c93ddd back with 3204d83d2f a hardened d5ff256fc0 face, watching 0f174513b3 Ein stagger, 5c237a22d3 pale as 230fab43ce a ghost. He knew that pale 1ceba41012 face. It was the 565bcb514a face his only 8c7a9fb7ec friend, Jayden Liddell, 84d29c7d9f wore right before d044efc2bb he died.cfd08766abf30c83

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Calix had witnessed countless deaths. War was a disaster that devoured countless lives, so he couldn’t dwell on each life that faded every second. Yet, he could never get used to saying goodbye forever to someone close. So Calix chose to distance himself from everyone.f62748d8125d11b9

But seeing Ein, who looked like she might collapse at any moment, he couldn’t remain indifferent. It meant he couldn’t see her as a complete stranger.ef9ad71e0f7bfb86

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‘…This isn’t right.’99127ce402440ba9

Yeah, something 736a813eab was wrong.b616950607fc5c62

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After Jayden’s death, Calix vowed to live like a coward forever.a7f2d52732d4396a

So, to avoid 04e711e743 getting hurt again, e92837b091 he had to 34bf3b7bb5 push Ein away.e14fd2f3fe707e51

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I skimmed over 5fb9cedbfa the line about 70b70a02b6 living like a e445edd312 coward several times 9475e4a81c and chuckled softly.a566b7952d1d22da

“Maybe I want to live like a coward too.”c17e7aabcfd518d8

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I couldn’t put down this boring novel because Calix and I were alike.729124297b661e0b

☀︎ • ☀︎ d3368a33ba • ☀︎017b6307f0c7b629

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It seemed the heavy weights were not only on Calix’s ankles heading to the Ducal Castle but also on my eyelids. I struggled to lift my eyes, which felt unusually stiff. My body felt so heavy that I didn’t even have time to indulge in the nostalgia of dreaming about an ordinary day from the past.e8fe4b2402b4e10a

“Jayden…?!”00c5835d8e88fb8a

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After blinking a few dc2b477c09 times, my blurry vision dc0f24e1fb returned to normal, and 745c77ea2b my mind started functioning fa2d1f6e77 again.b997a44a503a5115

There had been strange symptoms before I collapsed, and I even had a nosebleed. No, the fact that I suddenly fainted despite being fine meant my body wasn’t normal.b00e6c4b67d2e595

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“Ah, young master—”714c0bfa7f680a98

Seeing my mother crying 96bd56a6f6 sorrowfully while holding me 519f9b6c13 and my father trying 4e4308061d hard to hold back df472653aa tears with red-rimmed eyes, 89a9d8aa1d it was clear that a47cd98723 I had been diagnosed 273b815414 with a terminal illness 75bc570363 by the family doctor, 2773df08f2 Hemel.689196900d5a69e5

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My mother 5bc2c7dd3c clung to 9b3afdadd9 my hand 2ff5cd3986 as if 24c98f4168 it were 6982736050 a lifeline, cf1eef5ae8 crying for bcca136359 a long f05c902cb5 time, while 0b1a38777a Hemel, watching b4193098c5 sympathetically, asked 83a55f8894 me.aac0e592c409a7bd

“Young master, do you feel any discomfort? Even minor symptoms are fine.”f9dc871e48905175

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“I feel heavier than usual. By the way, how long have I been out since I collapsed?”ecd0af68d83505d2

“…What? Ah, it’s been two days.”1abd1c356bae25cb

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No wonder e5efa47f15 my eyes 850f84d1b6 felt stiff. I nodded calmly, and 67dc9069d8 Hemel hesitated several times, ea09aa6030 contemplating how to convey 0faf32fefa that I was terminally 6f8dcf4751 ill. He seemed to have 28349807ac decided to tell the 7912dbbab3 truth, thinking it might 98c3631ff2 be kept a secret 82ee316eb7 for a while since a7388c6f56 I was so young.ea49991d8a5c4c2c

Well, my condition would worsen day by day, so even if they tried to hide it, I wouldn’t believe it. While I waited patiently, Hemel, who had been opening and closing his mouth several times, finally spoke as if spitting out a blade instead of words.cafceb87563ff24b

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“You have… an illness, young master. That is…”0e9c9da79fe40f6d

“Yes.”72738623f501b067

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“…Mana sclerosis.”06a1b1db53bae38e

Everyone knows d83b13989a about mana 369b61dffe sclerosis. Since most diseases can 81d5a7e421 be cured with divine 5dc7250b72 power, people fear the 9795e1fa3b few incurable diseases even aa29438fca more.dc24ebf0ff11177b

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Unlike other diseases, mana sclerosis is notorious because it inevitably leads to death once it develops, and patients have a very short average lifespan, so Hemel didn’t bother explaining the disease.eb955cca3a49891d

Though it was a shocking diagnosis for others, I already knew, so I was unsure how to react. Pretending to be surprised wasn’t an option since my acting skills were terrible, so I awkwardly nodded.ddc18d0755ad2549

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“I see.”fdfe194e3386b72f

At that moment, e9c095e7bb my mother, who 4cbda80653 had been sobbing ee7ed786cd while holding my bfb7c9e642 hand, looked up c070b3dff8 sharply. Her tear-soaked 5c1e4e0364 eyes slowly 487116ed7c filled with f1b5b2fe30 shock.4b98352d1175a39f

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“Did you… know?”a35c1d7f5992ebd7

“Pardon?”1f7e6195ad8d31a7

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“Did you already know?”b92ce7de4e81904a

“…No. It just hasn’t sunk in yet.”43e674eced91c7e8

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“Is that why? Because you—”de8979b98c40d889

Seeing my 9d43f6ac0e mother struggling d1a97ccd0b to speak 92e3dc8eab through her 9fd4ba7f04 sobs, I 96d054738f swallowed a 242835ead9 sigh. The piercing c9fc2cf594 gazes of 50ccc49962 my father 99c3f3217d and Hemel, b4fe3c502c who seemed 29e6d971c1 equally shocked, 7e87e4116a were uncomfortable, a985400796 and my f315a9c83d heart felt c5eaa878cd heavy.fadd90f72f7f00b8

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In my second life, a09c844ca4 I had a warm 700dda905b and loving family for fa23d471a4 the first time, and d14b800970 I wished they would e38d1b4fc8 be a little less 0dc9c778c8 sad, as if receiving 1561891d10 a precious gift. So I chose to 86b217085f distance myself like a 79c5d3a554 stranger.f7ab3dbe730dc886

I ignored my parents’ longing gazes, who wanted to talk more, and didn’t even properly reply to my brothers who sent letters and gifts monthly despite being far away.43d65ea20f12a2c4

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But hoping they wouldn’t be hurt was my selfishness.85b10d3ca35128a5

“How could I have known?”31593dbc2cda60af

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Even without the d3f904ca6a vaguely remembered original 64cca17639 story, I instinctively 26201f4b62 felt something was 6aad6ceb25 wrong. It was because 54b79cbc76 of the unusual ed55928749 symptoms that started 79f7660cfc two years ago.69b3a4c4904053da

Though rare, there were times when my body suddenly felt sluggish as if I had stayed up all night, even without overexerting myself. And just like how the air feels heavy on very humid days, the air touching my skin started to feel uncomfortable. Even if I didn’t know the future, I would have realized something was wrong.033b7989bcceaa3a

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Moreover, mana sclerosis is a condition one is born with, so the concept of development doesn’t exist. It’s just that you can’t confirm it until the disease progresses to a certain extent. So it wasn’t strange that I noticed my body wasn’t normal in advance.1af2bdb3cdd702c8

“Please be honest. Hmm?”76f408dafae955e4

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I could have just said no, but for some reason, the words were stuck in my throat, and I couldn’t get them out. My mother’s expression, which didn’t seem like she would believe me if I said no, was one thing, but my personality, which couldn’t lie and preferred to avoid answering, hadn’t changed.1ca8eeb315223057

Since I didn’t respond, Hemel, with a dark expression, chimed in.171aa5cddf66f7f3

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“Young master, you need to tell us honestly when the symptoms started so we can predict the progression of the disease.”70af3527cfc1b437

Hemel’s words weren’t wrong, but they would ultimately answer whether my mother’s suspicions were true. After hesitating for a moment, I had no choice but to answer truthfully so Hemel could diagnose my approximate lifespan.65a1fe1216737f09

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“It started two years ago. It wasn’t severe.”0c697727b8c4eb54

At my words, my 641195b1e2 mother gasped as if 71aa71c2f1 the sky had fallen, ca9ed506fa and my father tightly 43d1570739 closed his eyes.e32c0d32632cb02e

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“But why didn’t you say anything? If you had hinted to me…”e772dc37638dde61

Hemel trailed off. As a doctor, he knew that telling wouldn’t have changed anything.62b3a82fcbf840e1

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I gathered 1bbebfba20 my thoughts, 38bff8f162 wondering what d2e69e1cd3 to say 2fcfdf70c1 to comfort bcadd9f287 my despairing 80da0193a7 parents. Even in my d3298891e6 second life, having a3d47f07d8 parents was a 5c21249d1f first, so everything cdd05d2af9 was difficult.b115b565851bcf3b

“The symptoms were just similar to mana sclerosis, so I only suspected it. Considering that commoners without mana affinity typically die in their late twenties or early thirties, I guessed I might only live until about 20—”b1af16bd81ba6266

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Since it was already discovered, I wanted to say they didn’t need to worry too much about me being shocked, but my father, who had been calmly observing the situation while comforting my sobbing mother, suddenly stood up.c62dabb41cb83995

“That’s nonsense!”a5167c3576c2c4d3

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“What?”d955a2b2e5618263

“I won’t let you go so easily! No, you won’t die, my child.”bb8cf798223e01ad

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In the original story, I died at 18, but I generously said 20, which didn’t help at all.2152195fd35eb3af

“Father.”3b0206f432743889

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“You have nothing to worry about. Just rest easy.”a4c33b7a30507757

With those 28359400ad words, my de673a9b02 father left 6c3bbec30c the room 07980057c0 as if 3e7ec043e6 fleeing, and 8313a5e4f3 my mother 953226ffbb struggled to 618de75413 hold back bec92d96ba her tears. It seemed neither of 052f83e85c them was ready to 0488745567 say goodbye to me c12aede9dc yet.7566133684c74ad4

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☀︎ • ☀︎ • aad1a39a06 ☀︎bba1bb78eddd7f48

My mother, more agitated than I was, was chased out by Hemel. Since I was the most important person to Hemel, the patient, he couldn’t let anyone make me more anxious. Though the wording was a bit harsh, it was essentially the same as being chased out.3005a849f30fc5d7

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I wasn’t sure how much stress was related to mana sclerosis, but in my previous life, stress was called the root of all diseases, so I roughly accepted that mental and physical comfort was important. Hemel then informed me of a few precautions.cb703d8c95d255b2

The first and foremost was to be careful with mana, and as mentioned, to minimize stress. Since no cure for mana sclerosis appeared until the end of the original story, Hemel wouldn’t have any solutions either.46d1751b79085010

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