STGL Ch 1

There is a monster living in the palace. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe. But truly, there is a monster living there. And generally, the strongest and cruelest monster sits in the most noble position. Sometimes, someone who isn’t a monster sits in that position, and if there are no other monsters in the palace, then all is well. However, what happens to that person if there is even a single other monster in the palace…?

“Uncle, have you ever seen that monster?”

“…….”

Taerok stared into my innocent, clear eyes that were gazing at him. He felt pity for me, asking as if I didn’t even know what my own words meant. My reflection was visible in his obsidian-like, black, and shiny eyes. Taerok answered, looking at his reflection in Nanyoung’s eyes.

“Yes. I have seen it.”

Nanyoung was weak from birth. He was born prematurely, an eight-month baby, and everyone thought he would die as an infant. As the legitimate son of the king, no one could voice these thoughts aloud, but could even his parents have truly avoided such thoughts?

Even more sadly, Nanyoung was an exceptionally lovely child. Taerok hadn’t seen it himself. He had just heard it said. When Taerok heard the news of his second nephew’s birth, he was in the midst of hunting deer, and upon hearing that the child was premature, he’d simply thought, ‘He’ll die soon then.’

Taerok, the youngest son of the late king, born much later, was thirteen years older than Nanyoung. If he had been born a little earlier, would something have been different? He was seventeen years younger than his brother, the king, who already had a son. How relieved everyone must have been that the frail Lee Nanyoung was not the firstborn son.

Taerok met Nanyoung at his first birthday celebration. He studied the baby’s face carefully. The chubby cheeks, innocently closed eyes, and smiling lips were indeed a lovely combination, worthy of the gossip surrounding him. Taerok, however, felt no particular emotion.

“Taerok, isn’t my child adorable?”

Taerok gave a hollow laugh at the affectionate voice calling him and asking so tenderly.

The child’s cheeks were plump, but his arms and legs were rather thin, and his complexion was pale. Could he even live past five?

“He’s so cute, even to me. So lovable.”

His elder brother, the king, was exceptionally gentle by nature. Such a nature wouldn’t be a flaw in an ordinary husband and man, but his gentle nature was problematic for a monarch. They had changed the name of the country and the royal family’s surname and had only reached the third generation of their reign. The wolves who had betrayed the previous dynasty were still on their side for now, but there was no telling when they might reveal their true nature again. Having left the palace the previous year, Taerok was well aware of how much they were enriching their own coffers.

Because of this, Taerok swallowed a sigh at the sight of his brother behaving even more softly than usual. Then, he looked at Nanyoung again. How much could he have changed since he had just looked at him a moment ago?

“…….”

Nanyoung opened his eyes. As his eyes opened, his constantly smiling lips ceased their movement. He pursed his lips and made smacking sounds, as if there was honey in the air. Was he hungry? Children are naturally like that, but even this young nephew seemed remarkably carefree. Taerok, with eyes not befitting his fourteen years, observed Nanyoung.

“…His eyes are as black as Go stones.”

It was the only compliment he could find. The king laughed heartily, as if that simple observation were something remarkable. It seemed that the single comment from Taerok, who had been as cold as the ice of Bingo to his other nephews, was fascinating.

“Yes, it seems even you find this child lovely.”

It was just a casual remark. The meaning was over-inflated. Taerok scoffed inwardly.

However, Taerok, thinking to play the part of a loyal subject by humoring the king, reached out his hand. Taerok was said to resemble his great-grandfather particularly strongly. It was said that his great-grandfather enjoyed hunting, was skilled with the bow and arrow, rode horses exceptionally well, and had a large build. Perhaps because of this, even at fourteen, Taerok’s hands were larger than those of his peers. As he extended his index finger, Nanyoung’s Go stone-like eyes focused inward. Seeing this, Taerok, uncharacteristically, played a little prank. He slowly drew a circle with his index finger. Watching this, Nanyoung flailed his hands, and suddenly grasped Taerok’s finger.

“Ah….”

Such a small hand. He needed both hands to completely grasp Taerok’s index finger. Taerok, unexpectedly, found himself a little flustered. The grip was surprisingly firm. Such a small thing, like a freshly steamed white rice cake that would crumble with a touch.

“It seems Nanyoung likes you too, younger brother.”

The king whispered. Taerok was about to scoff, but stopped. Nanyoung had pulled his finger to his wet lips and bit down hard.

Chomp. Yes, that was the sensation. A sinking-in sensation. Taerok frowned, then roughly pulled his hand away as soon as the king turned his head. Even so, Nanyoung didn’t cry.

“So, what did you think? Is the young prince really as cute as they say?”

Outside the palace, to his close friend Saon, who asked with a playful tone, Taerok replied with a single word.

“Frail.”

Four out of ten children who don’t live past the age of five. The misfortune wouldn’t bypass the palace. After Nanyoung’s first birthday, Taerok didn’t visit him. Just as he hadn’t with his other nephews.

🌱

Taerok grew up and became eighteen years old. Thus, Nanyoung turned five.

There had been no news of death from within the palace. So, Nanyoung had defied everyone’s expectations and survived. At least until the age of five.

During that time, the king’s health had also been deteriorating. Nanyoung was the spitting image of his father. The burden of his position was one of the reasons for his declining health. He wasn’t suited by nature to be above others. He might have been better off as a teacher in a small village.

Perhaps because of this, it was said that recently the high-ranking officials, scholars, and others were troubling the king with different matters. Petitions to prohibit members of the royal family from holding government positions were constantly being submitted. They were clearly wary of Taerok. Taerok scoffed. As long as Taerok showed loyalty, his brother wouldn’t accept those petitions. Partly because he was weak and gentle, and partly because he was intelligent.

The soldiers personally trained by Taerok were far more skilled and numerous than the private armies of the high-ranking officials. As long as Taerok was on the king’s side and remained his brother, he knew that weakening the power of the royal family wouldn’t benefit anyone.

Perhaps because of this, the king summoned Taerok one day.

“Taerok.”

At the sound of his name, instead of his title as the Grand Prince Baegan, Taerok tilted his head slightly.

“Could you look after Nanyoung?”

In private, the king acted as if they were ordinary brothers from a noble family. Taerok thought this was utter madness. The king should always behave as a king. Calling him by his name casually and making requests like this was tarnishing his own authority.

“Look after him? There are plenty of others who can do that besides me.”

However, since the king was acting this way, Taerok responded in kind. The king, unable to be harsh due to his gentle and meek nature, simply laughed off his younger brother’s somewhat rebellious attitude. Unlike the king, who was weak in both mind and body despite sharing the same blood, Taerok was born with a warrior’s spirit. Even the way they held the same teacup showed the difference between them.

“Still, aren’t you the brother I trust the most? I feel bad for Nanyoung, but I haven’t been able to find him a tutor because I’ve been so preoccupied.”

That’s because no one expected him to live this long.

“I can’t teach academics.”

Taerok drew a firm line. The king hadn’t intended for him to teach academics anyway.

“I’d like you to teach the child the sword and bow. A true nobleman should be proficient not only in academics but also in arts and martial skills. Especially if that child is to become a Grand Prince…”

Taerok scoffed inwardly. To expect proficiency from a frail child… The wish for him to simply grow up healthy was probably only a well-meaning platitude until he reached six or seven years old. Since he was born a Grand Prince, he couldn’t grow up completely incompetent.

Yet, at the same time….

“Wouldn’t he be unhappy if he becomes too exceptional?”

Taerok posed a pointed question indirectly.

“That’s why you’re unhappy.”

And the king, perceiving the barb, returned it right back to him.

Taerok ground his teeth. His brother was weak, but astute. He could hit eight out of ten targets, but he lacked the stamina to shoot all ten.

“If Your Majesty sees me that way, then I must still be lacking.”

“No. You’re proficient. I’m just worried that you’re so exceptional that you’re lonely.”

“Is that why the Ministry of Rites is working so hard to find a consort for Grand Prince Baegan?”

“It’s for your own good.”

Taerok was disinterested, despite it being about him. It was already a rather late marriage. He didn’t care who they found. He doubted they would find anyone at all.

His first fiancée had fallen ill after a horse-riding accident and passed away. His second fiancée had visited him late at night, crying and begging him to break off the engagement because she had someone else in her heart, so he had obliged. She had taken care of the reason for the broken engagement. Thanks to the blemish on her family, she was able to marry the man she desired. Taerok knew that people whispered behind his back. The lonely Grand Prince. The Grand Prince, like a tree frozen in the depths of winter.

“Even if it isn’t time yet for a Grand Prince’s consort, it’s time for Nanyoung to hold a wooden sword. Will you teach him?”

Taerok lowered his head and rolled his eyes. The expression on his face showed his utter boredom and annoyance. He loathed the idea of looking after a child.

Seeing Taerok’s displeasure, the king added,

“You don’t need to be a perfect teacher. I said he should be proficient with horses, but I don’t expect that much. Just…”

Taerok, about to refuse politely, became irritated by the weak, affectionate tone that held no expectations.

“Affection without expectation is worse than hatred.”

So, he blurted this out.

“I won’t be the good teacher Your Majesty expects.”

A smile bloomed on the king’s face.

🌱

Taerok twirled the wooden sword in his hand as he watched the small figure approaching from afar. He was already regretting this.

Although he had seen the child before, he needed more interactions to be familiar with him. He saw not his nephew, but just a strange child.

How old is the young prince now? He couldn’t quite recall. Taerok asked Saon, his childhood friend and fellow disciple under the same master.

“How old is he now?”

“Are you referring to your nephew? He is five years old this year.”

“Five.”

Right. Five. The one who barely survived until five.

Taerok muttered. From a distance, Nanyoung looked very small. Of course, in Taerok’s eyes, who wouldn’t appear small compared to his large frame, but perhaps the fact that he only remembered Nanyoung from his first birthday made him seem even smaller.

Taerok tried to recall what he was like at five. Naturally, he couldn’t remember clearly. It would be better to visit the Queen Dowager and ask her what he was like back then.

“Was he always this…small for his age?”

Taerok tucked the wooden sword under his arm and gestured with both hands, as if measuring something in the air.

“Small?”

Saon narrowed his eyes, assessing Nanyoung’s physique as he drew closer. Saon had an exceptional memory. This was the reason Taerok, who abhorred incompetence, kept him by his side for so long. Saon recalled Taerok’s and his own physique at that age in his vivid memory. Even considering that the two of them were larger than their peers, the young Grand Prince was definitely smaller than others.

“A little…”

However, how could he say that the king’s legitimate son was small or diminutive? Saon scratched his chin.

“Uncle!”

Nanyoung, having approached in the meantime, bowed deeply and greeted him cheerfully. His speech wasn’t particularly fast, as is typical for children, but his pronunciation was relatively clear. He might be small, but it seemed his speech wasn’t delayed.

“Greetings, young prince.”

Because the king wasn’t particularly authoritarian with his own bloodline, Taerok followed suit. He had no desire to bow deeply and observe all the formalities with such a small child, so for once, he benefited from his brother’s ridiculous family charade.

“I offer my greetings. I hope you are well. My name is Im Saon. You may call me Saon.”

Taerok inwardly clicked his tongue at Saon’s overly-obsequious behavior, kneeling and meeting Nanyoung at eye level. Frowning at his friend, Taerok flinched and lowered his head at the feeling of his trousers being tugged.

“…What are you doing?”

Taerok asked, looking at Nanyoung, who was hiding behind him, clinging to his trousers.

“…….”

Nanyoung didn’t answer. Nanyoung’s eunuch approached with a chuckle, bowed, and kindly explained the situation to Taerok.

“The young prince…has started to be shy around strangers… My apologies.”

Nanyoung, still too young to receive a formal title, peeked at Saon from behind his large uncle. Taerok twirled the wooden sword in his hand and, pointing to himself, asked,

“I haven’t seen him that much either, have I?”

“Well…”

The elderly eunuch looked a little flustered, then gave a benevolent smile.

“Still… you are family… his uncle.”

Uncle.

Even though he had met another nephew before, the word felt awkward and uncomfortable for Taerok, like a starched garment that didn’t fit. He looked down at Nanyoung with a dubious expression. He was so small. As Saon observed, Nanyoung was smaller than his peers. Looking down at the small head that he could easily grasp with one hand, Taerok clicked his tongue with a somewhat harsh tsk.

“Why are you sucking your thumb?”

Nanyoung, who lived apart from his parents in his own quarters from an early age, felt lonely. The eunuchs and court ladies treated Nanyoung not as a child, but as a member of the royal family. One couldn’t sleep with a member of the royal family. Lonely, Nanyoung had been sucking on the back of his bent index finger.

“Your thumb. I asked why you’re sucking it.”

Taerok asked again, his tone cold. Nanyoung finally realized that the question was directed at him, so he slowly lifted his head and removed his thumb from his mouth. A string of clear saliva stretched between them. Taerok’s face crumpled in disgust. The eunuch hurriedly wiped his lips and finger with a cloth. His reddened, swollen finger looked so small that Taerok wondered if it could even wrap around two of his fingers. No, perhaps just one.

This was going to be a long journey. Taerok suppressed the urge to scold his brother. He couldn’t do that anymore, not now that his brother was king, even if he had been able to during his time as a Grand Prince.

Taerok bent his knees and met Nanyoung’s gaze. Even when he lowered himself like this, their eyes were still at vastly different heights.

“A royal descendant shouldn’t do things like thumb-sucking.”

Even though Taerok was technically speaking respectfully, his tone lacked any real respect.

Nanyoung slowly followed Taerok with his large eyes. For a moment, Taerok wondered if he was simple-minded. Perhaps it was because of his unusually large pupils. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking behind those large, clear eyes. Only his own reflection was visible in them. This was why children were unsettling. Taerok took Nanyoung’s hand and squeezed it tightly. The child winced in pain, his face scrunching up with a small “Ow.”

“Don’t be shy either. With the exception of His Majesty, His Highness, the Queen, and the Queen Dowager, there’s no one you need to be shy or apprehensive around.”

“…What about you, Uncle?”

“I…”

Taerok paused, his tongue running along the inside of his cheek.

Your Majesty, you were the one who told me to teach him.

Taerok decided to teach Nanyoung in his own way. Not in the endlessly gentle, affectionate, and weak manner of his brother, Igon.

“You should try to defeat me.”

“Defeat…? You, Uncle?”

Perhaps wanting to speak clearly and deliberately, his sentences had noticeable pauses. Taerok waited patiently for the child to finish speaking.

“I have to defeat you, even though you’re my uncle?”

“Family doesn’t guarantee eternal loyalty. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they won’t bare their fangs. From now on, I will teach you those things, young prince.”

“Uncle, you’re…”

What? Scary? Taerok blinked, feigning boredom and annoyance. He figured the child would say he was scary. Taerok would try his best, and if Nanyoung continued to be a nuisance, he would tell the king and resign from this position, then leave for the border. Hunting barbarians and wild animals there would be more beneficial for his anger management.

However, holding Taerok’s hand, Nanyoung answered slowly, yet persistently,

“You’re kind.”

Kind?

Taerok was so taken aback that he missed the chance to scoff. Instead, Saon stifled a laugh behind him. The eunuch also seemed bewildered. After a moment of stunned silence, Taerok finally became irritated.

‘This naivety is excessive.’

A royal family only three generations into its reign. The so-called meritorious subjects were using their merit certificates as weapons to monopolize the three highest government positions within their families and constantly seeking their own profit, yet he called him kind. Taerok slowly straightened up. His long shadow fell generously over Nanyoung’s small form.

Nanyoung’s skills were atrocious. Taerok judged Nanyoung by his own strict standards, and while Saon tried to be more lenient with his young nephew, even he had to admit that Nanyoung was utterly unskilled. His grip on the sword was weak. He lacked the core strength to control his swinging arm. These things could be developed over time, but his thrusts and the spirit behind his swings were feeble. He lacked the will to harm others, the resolve to stab someone if necessary to protect himself.

“Appalling.”

Taerok muttered, covering his face with his hand. Saon let out a chuckle, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

“Young prince.”

Taerok clapped his hands together and called to Nanyoung. Although his body was weak, Nanyoung was intelligent. The reason his face was flushed crimson wasn’t simply due to exertion, but because he knew where and how he was lacking. Taerok approached Nanyoung and stood behind him. The child was so small that Taerok had to bend down considerably. Even enveloped within his embrace, there was plenty of room to spare. When Taerok wrapped his hands around Nanyoung’s from behind, the child practically disappeared from view.

Looking at the tiny feet, Saon thought, ‘They look like father and son.’ Indeed, Taerok was old enough to have a child. In fact, he was a little late. His elder brother, the king, had already fathered the current crown prince while he was still the crown prince himself.

“Didn’t I tell you to imagine someone trying to harm you is standing in front of you?”

“Wo, would there be many people who would try to hurt me?”

“Yes. Many. A great many.”

Taerok had no qualms about frightening a child.

“They could be outside the window, beyond the door, under the privy, or even inside your clothes while you change.”

Nanyoung’s face paled at the words spoken in a nonchalant tone. Taerok chuckled at the sight of the trembling body. Strange powers and mythical creatures were just nonsense to deceive the foolish commoners; his tutor must have told him not to listen to or believe such things. Or perhaps because he had truly never heard or seen such things, he displayed such an innocent, almost pathetic reaction.

Taerok, whose nature had been cold and cruel from a young age, couldn’t understand Nanyoung’s childish reaction. Nor did he want to. However, when he saw such things, he could at least teach him how to wield a sword.

“You must grip it firmly. A blade has the property of creating fire and tilling fields, but it also has the cruel property of being able to harm you. If you handle it clumsily, like you do, the blade is bound to try and devour its master. Now, look. Does this have eyes?”

Saon found Taerok’s explanation interesting. He was unusually verbose, unlike his usual self. He was probably enjoying teasing his young nephew.

‘He’s so twisted.’

That was a thought he could only have because he had known Taerok for a long time and could consider himself his friend.

“It doesn’t, Uncle.”

“Yes. You saw correctly. It doesn’t. And because it doesn’t…”

Taerok abruptly twisted his hand. From the side, he heard the eunuch’s anxious cry of “Oh dear!” Although he lived apart from his parents, he certainly wasn’t lacking in affection. It hadn’t been long since he began teaching Nanyoung swordsmanship and archery, but it was already clear. Everyone around this young nephew cherished and loved him.

However….

Taerok had noticed something after observing Nanyoung for a few days.

Aside from the palace officials, there was no one else around him. Palace officials couldn’t be family. Of course, they couldn’t be friends either. He was a child protected, yet isolated because of that protection.

Concealing his observation, Taerok treated Nanyoung even more strictly.

“This is how it can stab its owner at any moment, without a second thought.”

The tip of the wooden sword touched Nanyoung’s shin. Taerok didn’t know much about children. He knew they had weak bladders. What if he wet himself? As this irresponsible thought crossed his mind, Nanyoung’s reaction was unexpectedly calm. He was so quiet, Taerok briefly wondered if he had fainted standing up.

“Yes. I’ll be careful.”

However, contrary to Taerok’s intentions and the worries of those around them, Nanyoung adjusted his grip on the sword. Taerok let the small fist move stubbornly within his grasp. Though he could have stopped the weak movement with a single finger, he didn’t this time.

“I’ll hold it properly. If something scary comes, I’ll focus so that the sword I’m holding to protect myself doesn’t become the scary thing.”

“…That’s right. And if it attacks, you must cut it down.”

Nanyoung didn’t respond to Taerok’s casual remark. Despite his delicate appearance, he was stubborn. Just like his father. As proof, Nanyoung carefully repositioned the sword, turning the blunt edge downwards. Taerok clicked his tongue and abruptly flipped the sword back.

“Do you plan to wait until you have a scar on your face to come to your senses?”

The low, heavy voice didn’t reach the ears of the courtiers or Saon, who were standing further away. Only Nanyoung heard it. The single remark from his uncle was far, far more frightening than his mother, who would scold him by calling him Lee Nanyoung, his full name, which she rarely used. The single word, spoken without inflection or emphasis, held so much weight.

His spirit broken, Nanyoung gripped the sword as Taerok had instructed. Only then did Taerok step back.

“I don’t expect much from you, young prince. Since you’ll be busy just getting used to that wooden sword for a while, try not to drop it while you swing it downwards ten times.”

“Ten times? I can do it!”

Despite his trembling limbs, Nanyoung declared bravely.

However, no one present believed he could do it. Nanyoung swung the sword down from above. Saon clicked his tongue and sighed, “Oh dear.” He was already wobbling by the third swing. Swordsmanship was something one could only properly practice after developing calluses on their palms. Nanyoung was still a long way off.

In Taerok’s view, Nanyoung wasn’t a foolish child. Of course, in the eyes of others, he was young enough to act spoiled or whine. But for him to behave like this meant one thing. He was being cautious. Did he not want to be disliked? No. Why would he fear dislike he had never experienced?

“Ha…”

Taerok rubbed his face, watching the wooden sword swinging haphazardly sideways, diagonally, and in curves.

Even as he struggled, Nanyoung kept glancing at Taerok. He resembled a puppy, checking to see if its owner was leaving.

He was lonely. He wanted even his frightening, unfamiliar uncle to stay.

‘That’s the most tiresome kind of sentiment.’

The fact that he wasn’t openly demanding made it even more tiresome.

Taerok rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. Eight times. That was the most Nanyoung had managed to swing the sword in a single attempt. Nanyoung finally began to sniffle. Even though the tip of the wooden sword pointed downwards like the setting sun, his arm, stubbornly refusing to let go, was pitiful.

“…Put it down, young prince.”

At his words, Nanyoung looked at Taerok again.

“Are you…disappointed…?”

Five years old… He was still young. Too young to talk about disappointment. Nanyoung had grown up enveloped in a very gentle world. Every time they saw him, those around him worried, “Will he die this year? Will he really die this year?” Nanyoung was aware of their feelings, and sometimes it felt less like concern for him and more like a hope that he would die this year.

Perhaps that hope was justified. Perhaps Nanyoung had seen through the hidden desires of those around him. Distressed by his suffering, they might have unconsciously thought that an early end would be a better life for him. Thus, Nanyoung felt very lonely in his comfortable world.

As Taerok nodded, Nanyoung dropped the wooden sword with a thud. Taerok, about to scold him for dropping the sword like that and damaging the blade, paused as he saw Nanyoung’s face drenched in sweat and tears.

“Oh dear, young prince.”

The eunuch rushed over fussily. He was such a softy. The eunuch embraced Nanyoung and wrapped his small hands in a cloth soaked in herbal tea. In the eunuch’s arms, as he was being comforted with whispered words, Nanyoung turned his head and looked up at Taerok. His eyes held a childish plea: I tried my best, but I feel sad.

Even if you’re sad, you won’t give up easily. Taerok chuckled. It was the first time he had smiled at Nanyoung without a hint of sarcasm.

The smile quickly disappeared. Taerok spoke to the eunuch soothing Nanyoung.

“If you indulge every single one of his whims, the day the young prince wields his own sword will never come.”

“But he is still very young…”

“I was already handling a real sword at his age.”

That’s you.

The eunuch muttered inwardly.

The eunuch was well aware that Taerok, from birth, was significantly larger than his full and half-siblings, grew faster than anyone, trained in martial arts earlier than anyone, and left the palace at a young age. The eunuch had also noticed that Taerok was very cold, very aloof, and cruel. Wasn’t this a place where one needed to be perceptive to survive? The eunuch felt uneasy and worried that the gentle, lovable young prince had been entrusted to this uncle, even if it was by order of his father, the king.

“Young prince, how long do you intend to rest? Or shall I take my leave and return to my quarters?”

“N, no!”

Nanyoung, who had been sniffling, abruptly sat up in his true ally’s, the eunuch’s, embrace, as if not recognizing him. “I’ll do it again!”

“No, if you’re tired, don’t force it. There are plenty of people to protect you, aren’t there?”

Already bored, Taerok coaxed Nanyoung gently. However, to Nanyoung’s ears, the coaxing wasn’t gentle or appealing at all. It sounded like a taunt, a provocation. Well, it wasn’t entirely wrong. Nanyoung was rather perceptive.

“I want to be like you, Uncle!”

“Pfft.”

Saon barely suppressed his laughter. The court ladies glared at him as he covered his mouth. Glancing at Saon, who was feigning a cough, Taerok looked down at Nanyoung and sighed deeply. Nanyoung’s cheeks gradually flushed red at the lukewarm response to his aspiration.

“…You have much to learn, young prince.”

Taerok ruffled Nanyoung’s hair roughly. It was hard to even call it a caress. The neatly braided hair became tousled. Realizing he had been teased, Nanyoung covered the ruffled spot with both hands, biting his lip in embarrassment.

🌱

A few days after hearing the shocking declaration of wanting to be like him, Taerok was in Nanyoung’s quarters instead of the training grounds.

He dismissed the attendants, insisting he would open the door to Nanyoung’s bedchamber himself.

He had heard about Nanyoung’s illness three days ago. He had become concerned about Nanyoung’s condition this afternoon. In the morning, he had been idle and bored. He woke up later than usual, enough to be considered lazy by others. He opened his eyes and, without even changing his sleeping clothes, ate breakfast and continued to idle away the time before asking,

‘Has there been any news from the palace yet?’

There was no news. Taerok considered spending the day like a wastrel, worse than a street idler, due to the lack of news, but then he got out of bed.

This meant his visit here was impulsive.

As he opened the door, a warm, milky scent wafted out. Did children’s sweat smell milky? It was the first time he had noticed. Amidst the warmth, Taerok felt a breeze tickle his cheek. He turned his head and saw that the window was slightly ajar. Wasn’t it customary to let out the heat when someone had a fever? Taerok thought, entirely according to his own standards.

It was autumn. The breeze was still chilly. After a moment of consideration, Taerok decided to leave the window open and sat down. The eunuchs and court ladies here were, in Taerok’s view, a little overly attentive to their master. They couldn’t have possibly left the window open to cause harm. Since Taerok rarely fell ill, he could only assume they knew better than he did.

“…….”

One might expect a child to whine, frown, and call for their parents when sick, but Nanyoung was behaving well. Perhaps he was too ill to make a fuss, but for now, Taerok decided to consider Nanyoung’s peaceful slumber as good behavior.

“I’ll give you credit for that, young prince.”

Taerok propped one knee up and rested his arm loosely on it. The child’s shallow breaths were quite loud. Perhaps his nose was congested.

“…….”

Had he come for nothing? He had come out of boredom, but here in front of a sick child, he felt equally bored. It was obvious, but he wondered why he hadn’t considered this before leaving his quarters. It must have been because he overslept.

Taerok soon lost interest in his nephew and began to look around the room. It was evident that much care had been taken in decorating it. Images of carp, symbolizing longevity and health, were everywhere.

“He’s smaller than a carp.”

Taerok chuckled to himself. ‘He’, of course, referred to Nanyoung.

Books were piled up as well. Quite advanced books for such a young child. After briefly flipping through them, Taerok quickly grew bored and stood up.

I should leave. I should go hunting. I’ve been playing the unsuitable role of a teacher, looking after a child, and now that I’m not even doing that, I’m going crazy with restlessness.

Just as Taerok was about to turn around, Nanyoung, who had been quiet until then, stirred, then whimpered, unable to move comfortably. He also began to whine.

Frowning, Taerok threw open the door. However, the hallway was empty, filled only with the fragrant scent of pine. It was because he had dismissed them.

“Damn it.”

Taerok clicked his tongue and called out, “Someone!” He heard a response from afar. They would arrive soon, but Nanyoung’s cries came faster. At the sound of his loud wails, Taerok pressed his fingers to his forehead, then returned to the bedside.

“Young prince. Where do you feel unwell?”

It was a harsh question for a child. He was crying because he felt unwell, and he was being asked to explain where he hurt. Naturally, Nanyoung couldn’t answer. Taerok even wondered if he had understood the question.

“Where does it hurt?”

Taerok asked again, leaning closer.

Taerok smelled of a winter forest. In his feverish delirium, Nanyoung’s eyes fluttered open at the cool scent.

A man like a tiger god stood before him. Taerok looked quite different from the king. Forgetting that he was his uncle, Nanyoung grasped Taerok’s fingers, crying, “Mountain god, mountain god.”

“My head hurts so much… Please make it better…”

At the sound of the tearful plea, Taerok was slightly taken aback. What did he just say? Mountain god?

“I’m not a mountain god, but your uncle.”

“Mountain god…”

“Young prince, you’re quite stubborn, you know.”

Clicking his tongue, Taerok cupped the small, light, but burning head that was rubbing against his knee. The loosened hair spread out, intensifying the milky scent. It was a scent Taerok didn’t like. He preferred the sweet, almost seductive scent of orchids. He preferred maturity to immaturity, and was drawn to blatant openness rather than clumsy concealment. Nanyoung was the opposite, and while it was partly due to his young age, there was a sense that he might not change much even as he grew older.

A useless thought.

Just as Taerok pulled Nanyoung closer and rested his head on his lap, the royal physician and eunuch, who had been waiting, entered.

The eunuch, discussing Nanyoung’s condition from the previous night with the royal physician, hadn’t realized Taerok had arrived. He was slightly flustered because the person attending to Nanyoung was none other than Taerok, who seemed like he wouldn’t shed a tear even if his own family were ill.

“Where did you go, leaving your post?”

He truly hadn’t expected to be reprimanded like this by Taerok. The eunuch bowed and stammered an apology.

Taerok told him to forget it and attend to the child. Then he stood up. The eunuch became even more bewildered as Taerok placed a pillow under Nanyoung’s head and rose abruptly.

“A, are you leaving?”

“Of course. What else would I do here?”

The slightly irritated reply left the eunuch speechless.

There was certainly something Taerok, skilled with the bow and sword and notoriously fierce, could do here. At that moment, the royal physician, who was applying acupuncture needles to Nanyoung, asked, “Pardon? Grand Prince, what did you just say?” At his words, Taerok turned his head.

“Uncle… don’t go.”

The eunuch let out a distressed sigh, his heart aching with pity. However, that cold-blooded Taerok didn’t even blink.

He’s so cold, even to his own blood. The eunuch glared at him while keeping his head bowed.

However, if Saon had been present, he would have been surprised. Ignoring Nanyoung’s pleas and going his own way was typical Taerok. The fact that he had stopped at all was already unusual.

“I keep seeing scary things… I think they’re what you… were talking about…”

“You’re seeing things because you have a high fever.”

Or he’s making excuses because he’s lonely.

Taerok coldly thought that the latter was more likely.

Sim Eung, the eunuch who had served Nanyoung for a long time, gritted his teeth inwardly, thinking, “Look at that cold-blooded man!”

“But… they’re attacking me…”

Nanyoung looked at Taerok with teary eyes. It seemed the acupuncture was working, as his vision was clearing up. Taerok observed the royal physician. He was quite skilled; he should remember him.

Whether Taerok was looking at him or not, Nanyoung, who had been showered with affection since birth, continued his plea, just as he had always done.

“If you stay by my side, Uncle… I think I’ll be much… less scared…”

Please stop, young prince. That man is cold-blooded. Ice water flows through his veins instead of blood, and he has a block of ice instead of bones. The eunuch, hoping to spare his master any hurt feelings, approached and tried to soothe him. I will stay by your side. Or shall I call a court lady who is good at telling stories? Listening to these attempts at consolation, Taerok was taken aback.

“Speak clearly.”

Taerok turned around. The reason was simple. He wanted to tease the eunuch, who was openly avoiding him and fretting over the young prince he served. Sure enough, as Taerok approached Nanyoung’s side again, the eunuch gasped in fear. Taerok sat down right next to Nanyoung’s head and took his small, fern-like hand from the eunuch’s grasp. It was damp and hot. Certainly not a pleasant sensation.

“Speak clearly. Don’t trail off at the end of your sentences and don’t speak indirectly about what you want. Otherwise, I won’t listen and will pretend I don’t understand your feelings.”

Although it was essentially a sharp rebuke towards his maternal uncle and grandfather, Nanyoung, more docile than usual due to his fever, didn’t grasp the underlying meaning. He only understood the initial instruction: Speak clearly.

Nanyoung liked his uncle. He liked his imposing figure, like a great mountain, his handsome features, more striking than anyone else in the palace, and the scent of the winter forest that clung to him. He was the kind of man Nanyoung wanted to become, a role model. Moreover… he saw him almost every day. The palace was too large and empty for him. Someone he could see every day, someone warm, someone who didn’t need to speak formally to him, someone who had no reason to be apprehensive around him.

So, let’s do as Uncle says. Nanyoung gently squeezed Taerok’s hand. It was a ticklish sensation. Taerok, who didn’t like being tickled, furrowed his brows.

Regardless, Nanyoung repeated his request in a soft voice.

“Please stay by my side… until I fall asleep again.”

It might even be a demand.

Taerok clicked his tongue, annoyed that he had settled in just to tease a eunuch. The eunuch’s expression was rather bold. Did you hear that? You’re not actually leaving, are you? Those thoughts were clearly visible. If he were one of his subordinates, he would have been demoted or met his demise long ago. Taerok wondered what was so special about this small, frail child that the eunuch cherished him so much. What was so lovable about him…?

Nanyoung’s briefly improved condition worsened again when the needles were removed and moxibustion was applied. He grimaced and tears streamed silently down his face. A while ago, he had been whining, and Taerok had considered indulging him, but this was different from what he had expected.

“He tolerates it quite well.”

At his murmur, the eunuch inadvertently replied,

“Because he’s often ill. He doesn’t want to upset the servants by showing his distress, and as for those above him…”

He hesitated, and Taerok could easily guess the rest.

“They probably stopped listening because he’s bedridden so often.”

“…The young prince is not one to feign illness.”

So he must endure it until he can’t anymore. Still, it happened more frequently than others, and the visits became less and less frequent. He was afraid of disappointing them, afraid of being a burden.

It was understandable.

“So, at some point, he started enduring it like this.”

The eunuch murmured, his gaze fixed on Nanyoung.

At his words, Taerok looked at Nanyoung again. He was very small. Definitely smaller than others his age. Moreover, he was often ill. By Taerok’s standards, he was nothing more than a useless, burdensome existence. He couldn’t believe this frail child was his nephew.

However, even Taerok found his patience, restraint, and ability to conceal his feelings admirable. He liked it.

“Hmm.”

Making a strange sound, Taerok rested his chin on his index and middle fingers. The eunuch was bewildered by the unusually gentle expression on Taerok’s face as he looked at Nanyoung. Sim Eung had entered the palace long before he began serving Nanyoung and had spent his entire life there; he was older than Taerok. This meant he knew what kind of personality Taerok was born with and how he grew up.

Therefore, he assumed that the reason for Taerok’s gentle expression was that he was enjoying his nephew’s suffering.

‘Cold-blooded! The kind of man who wouldn’t shed a tear even if his own family died!’

They say one curses the king when he’s not present, but what harm was there in stating the truth inwardly? The eunuch hid his expression perfectly and stood up with the basin.

“I’ll go change the water.”

“Do as you please.”

Taerok waved his hand dismissively. The eunuch hurried over the threshold. Just before the eunuch closed the sliding door, Taerok asked,

“Do you always leave that window open?”

“Ah… We leave it open when his fever is high. They say a prolonged high fever can permanently damage the body…”

“I see.”

A fever could permanently damage the body? Taerok chuckled, finding it both strange and amusing. At the sound, the small, soft hand wrapped around his finger flinched.

“He’s so frail, it feels like even a touch could leave a permanent mark.”

Of all the things Taerok had touched, Nanyoung was the softest and most fragile.

🌱

By the time Nanyoung recovered, a rumor had spread throughout the palace and even reached Taerok: “It seems even the cold-hearted Taerok has a soft spot for his nephew and finds him endearing.” His response to this was:

“They have too much time on their hands.”

Saon found Taerok’s reaction unexpected.

“No matter how you look at it, it’s a rumor you wouldn’t be pleased with, yet you’re letting it slide?”

“It doesn’t harm me, so why bother?”

“Huh… It seems even ‘that Grand Prince Baegan’ finds his nephew endearing.”

Instead of replying, Taerok carved a piece for his bow. It was meticulous work, carefully checking its shape against the light. He was planning a hunting trip before winter arrived. Saon’s words brushed past Taerok’s ears, yet he gave it some thought. Did he find his nephew endearing because he was his nephew? However, the entire premise was wrong. If he found his nephew endearing, he should feel the same way about the crown prince. However, the crown prince was outside of Taerok’s interest. Not just outside of his interest, but rather annoying.

And he didn’t find Nanyoung endearing either. He had been bored, visited the palace, and attended to the whining child, that was all. They were making a fuss over such a trivial thing, calling it endearing and cherishing. He wondered, with a sarcastic twist, what kind of rumors would spread if he truly set his mind to doting on the child.

“Perhaps I should try it.”

The sight of Taerok, smiling with no genuine feeling, resembled someone poking a beehive out of pure curiosity.

“He whines a lot. Since he’s surrounded by people who pity him and indulge him, the child has no sense of the world and smiles foolishly, thinking everything is fine.”

“Oh dear. That’s precisely the kind of personality you despise, Grand Prince. However, the world finds such a personality lovable… Ow!”

Saon flinched as the arrowhead pressed against his lower lip. A thin, vertical cut appeared, and blood welled up. Saon covered his mouth and protested indignantly, “Why did you do that?!” Taerok replied calmly,

“Your words were long, so I wondered if your tongue had grown longer. I was going to cut it off if it had.”