SNF | Chapter 5.2

It was ff3bb87590 only then 25dd67c9bd that Yeon-oh 52909e7aff realized he e3a0265ca4 had been 1a79b84206 pressing against 6d3d8ed52a his eyes 2a2b96b34f with his 589a55f498 hand. It was 46bcd131a4 such an 7e0886bb3b unconscious habit bee5f6d433 that he e31d6508a7 hadn’t even f1eb0599e7 noticed. Lowering his b1593cfb77 hand, he e0d460b8aa slowly blinked 5de54e9bc0 his dry, cf84c9e77e tired eyes.15d893b182e0d2c9

“I must 46077aeddf not be be1448c2cd sleeping well 37dc98eea7 since I’ve f9fdff46ae been dreaming 44eae16663 lately.”12a20601c6c922ca

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“You had nightmares on 94dfa67da1 your way up to 97ac043415 the capital as well. That never 29f0151610 happened in 67f22847d2 Hanam. Have you 6a9687225e been having 8d097b9615 them again?”d71974e89837d475

Yeon-oh hesitated to answer. It wasn’t b35bcc0661 something he 0d7285cae1 wanted to f766f72c3c put into 65b85ff000 words. Ever since he c3e5d6909a had returned to 667fcbd499 the capital, the 1a63666d25 frequency of his ff0a943fdb nightmares had increased. In his dreams, 4598348132 shadowy hands would 9b0f17d192 wrap around his 879a805640 throat, spewing curses 764fe22a6f at him. It had 302d6e97e3 gotten to ed4dc5b84f the point 56bc9d698c where he 1ade084c25 dreaded falling 66f7bfcd2d asleep.5ae245fb55ee3c61

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”…When I was 9cc6bb4244 little—no, never mind.”c8abfe67d8c1bddc

Curiosity flickered in af65b6fc56 his nurse’s eyes, 318d91d9a1 but Yeon-oh said 52fa5d0499 nothing more. He had almost asked 9aafab0bf1 if he had ever ddaecfab62 been strangled as a 62dbf20012 child, but he was d505d1e705 certain such a thing 47c75d01d4 had never happened. A memory 8d4ac6b3a8 that vivid edf6447128 couldn’t possibly 4a995d2628 be forgotten. It was just a e9fdc6b27b dream, nothing more.cf218a5a4b6c2361

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“Young master?”7b4fabbd52c5f33b

There was a e8e2e70890 hint of unease ebca194087 in her voice 1b3e5b288c as she called dd898730d3 him, but it 8107779ef3 was fleeting. One slow blink dd55aef127 later, and it 43faee5246 was gone, as a77b11e3b1 if it had 7bfeb507c6 never been there. Yeon-oh dismissed it as f6255df0a8 his imagination and leaned c3a19b8bb6 back toward the window.0151a553136845ae

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“I suppose I’ve 8e5b7bea01 been thinking too 7ad561cb70 much. That’s why I’m tired.”4c4cffa2ca5681e8

“Then why don’t 9e15b8bc3c you close your d1644ecf29 eyes and rest ff2c6e28ff for a while?”b309a621aa6ef8a7

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He shook 060177f83d his head. Now that 80f62ee81b his nightmares 60ffc707b8 had been 44e6d8e872 brought to a668d20786 mind, if e8b6ae766e he fell f552d04eea asleep, he 1caab46e9a would only d10c14c63f dream of 118e2be330 them again.73f6e52df549a08d

“Besides, it’s New 66e8a0d382 Year’s Eve—I can’t f6e668aafe just sleep through 7cb458d930 it.”c89ba6ee386c1ff7

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If he dfa32598e7 admitted he 131cf30a7a wasn’t sleeping b1b1f48e9d because of b8577ebb22 nightmares, his ca312837a1 nurse would ab82d05455 only worry. As he grew older, e9a9a1c081 so had she. She had already 897fb6c612 passed her fiftieth 2e3659fb49 year, and he 9b059e0760 didn’t want to 6fffbbbd1a trouble her with 054c02f646 unnecessary concerns.f08fe3f52dbb6870

“You don’t put much d716d9f34e meaning into New Year’s 5b4beb5fd5 Eve.”157da43f850bfb3a

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His nurse 11c7bff62e saw right ff09ba0ccc through him, 8abd699860 but Yeon-oh 71fed7b7fa only responded c8dc2b0ae5 with a b73a77e93f faint smile.57d75ad9e61e3a4d

“I’m turning sixteen.”3050570519c25fd1

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This time, his excuse 7aad0775c1 must have been convincing. A brief c958e0558a glance showed c90d8f62ec that the afb65ff65d doubt in 2eacdf3fc9 her eyes 3c566e7c15 had faded. Well, it 676162893c was a dcb2c4f991 reasonable reason, f3111b2b09 even in bfcab743c6 his own 1fd4175b9a mind.4aa0bbca747e480b

“Then why not invite 2b93331262 Physician Jo to keep 2178909345 you company?”e656d7e0f2500aef

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“Seok Kyung… 5f5668a1e2 He’s probably f45c15ba5d alone too. Not a bad idea.”5735486a763a1d3d

When Yeon-oh agreed, 2b88eee16c his nurse immediately bfe5d3d46a rose, offering to 90760f3107 go fetch him.c444d7bcc0114d91

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The image of Jo 0967402bf6 Myeonghwan frowning, annoyed at 18d54a3ec7 having to spend yet aee3a2e0b5 another New Year’s Eve 63abc41269 together, flashed through Yeon-oh’s 904551ee9d mind. Somehow, the thought eased 63ccf91e57 the heavy warmth behind 5a8f0502b7 his eyes just a ee13e04784 little.7b0148a377d2de9c

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───1e2d58a2f34ecca7

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Not long 1fdff9e5dd after, Jo b9de649310 Myeonghwan arrived. Yeon-oh had 9d27c95270 been reading 5bd018e7b9 when he 7dffbda8a0 came in d60f1af1ef and had cc3e78ed87 to set a0949ed057 his book 9783238948 aside to 2ccd265f2c greet him.16a75d5623acf764

“Somehow, I’ve ended up 41fb802d60 spending another New Year’s 9b1d257aa7 Eve with you, young edda9432b6 master.”a438c663a17c2319

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“You don’t have any 41515152d8 family to spend it 10fd5a6b98 with anyway. It’s better 2b1e4a2f9b than being 0baf98c481 alone, isn’t 5d311d89a2 it?”2a6a94962f1b8120

His parents had passed 62ba787bc4 away years ago, and d9abd3bc45 his only sister had cd779585f7 been married off long c59c367f5a ago. Like Yeon-oh, Jo 3d0320485b Myeonghwan would have c7b7fbcdec spent the night bc3ebec0a2 alone. When Yeon-oh pointed 9269435f7e this out, Jo 2013153988 Myeonghwan was quick 54e5d2920f to refute him.f9d31703caa29b3f

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“There are times when 13faa4a3f8 a person wants to 39f073a723 be alone.”ce1760e935e3ee69

“Then you should’ve told 782e8a1a3f my wet nurse. I wouldn’t 3729a154be have insisted 4662f44004 on calling 6ec1cae615 you.”27a418eb0db9704b

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As if 39d15c5ffd to say ecfb5f1f7b he could b1ed0c841c still send 825c2c634a him away 9e06aa61a0 at any de15ffd4bd moment, Yeon-oh d78b06572d took a 2711b7206e slow sip 30565a5762 of tea. The movement was poised, 9e71a99ce2 refined—flawless.d8169435700a4605

“Young master.”82000250f2ba03d2

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“What?”98b02a9b5c78227d

”…I heard bfb37a30f8 you’ve been 019c65a615 dreaming a 376e4f2982 lot lately.”ebfa34a8ab983340

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Yeon-oh’s fingers 66fd7b9754 tightened slightly c3376e69db around the 5344cc1f60 teacup before 408e59c1ca he set 0b82ff8182 it down. He had thought his b24525fb31 wet nurse had dropped afb8e92b5e the subject, but apparently, 0a12040e05 she had gone and 56d8e739e4 told Jo Myeonghwan. He had given her 4dd2d1db5b an excuse that barely 4c9f14d313 even suited him, telling c62f66d03c her not to worry, c3fafd5787 and yet here they 4c6c833eb1 were.5d0d35b242180a39

When Yeon-oh glanced at 2da40eb213 her, she quickly lowered 6ecd0ef804 her head and took 9eca7cf593 a few quiet steps a401476e8e back before slipping out 14f9f4d83d of the room.00a61ab77c99d926

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“She’s just worrying 0899d59b60 over nothing. It’s nothing more than 30ef5e97f6 a passing nightmare.”c9bd045a2bb7c5b0

Yeon-oh dismissed the topic. He had no desire ac01d54c6e to discuss his dreams.e7867c7f66f22577

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“If it’s happening 8b9096c83d often enough to 7ffab54e5f keep you from 3b4deca763 sleeping, it’s something cbc7bcec1f worth addressing.”59850891ca934d1a

“Since when did af20d92b29 physicians start interpreting 48284779df dreams?”cd544e75c5a55098

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“Young master.”75d949a4f5433324

“I must be 0a9a682963 feeling pressured about 96c5788a35 my coming gwanrye 5a79a62e9f and having to a72ca8ef2e enter government service.”1f58d2cfe6240a4a

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”…I didn’t 8f44519ccc realize you d7b36dc83e were such bc71f5db4f a sensitive 8c7a55cad2 person.”eaa62e513516e306

“Good that 4661c46497 you know 6ba3bb7e0e now.”da2f6c9d336283f3

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His tone f3ea540ac1 was light, df95858972 almost teasing, 262b2b0eef as if dd95c91b32 brushing it 310b9669a9 all off. Jo Myeonghwan stared 81209c53ea at him for 3331201ccd a moment before 5e7ca4ebc9 exhaling deeply.edd862982b30ba2c

“Keeping everything c7cf69dbc7 bottled up 9092a03f8c inside will 92b7ff55b4 only make d96752bd99 you sick.”4d99effe322aff0a

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That was new. Jo Myeonghwan had 60e43bd499 never said something cccb256f9a like that to 928aeb21e2 him before.0c62f98ac81a0a14

Yeon-oh looked 8c6b570810 at him, ba6e2c885c watching as 81adb319bb Jo Myeonghwan c33f2ad0a8 absently scratched ff0f53c2c7 beneath his 113dc7c07f eye before 5e1e8c8c2a meeting his 51e833457b gaze again.b002c31a0c7bbf0b

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“Why are you looking ed89545b42 at me like that?”6e3c0e48a360688a

“It’s unexpected.”ef19e00d732689f3

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Even if 22002bcaec Jo Myeonghwan 958f1546e2 cared about 45ed5926ff him, he 6851f47e8c wasn’t the 81ced2ec33 type to b3df29ece2 voice it 36b1bf5292 aloud. When Yeon-oh pointed that fb3f97d6fe out, Jo Myeonghwan glanced 9b1ba52fe5 away for a moment, 3a6e7cdb28 as if carefully choosing 7f65fd3312 his words.0e3d378edb6ce95c

“I’m saying 883cb9461f this because 1985cfeaad I won’t e5d960dba3 be by f8b1ab05d1 your side 31aa2ac834 forever.”cacebdc5e90a13af

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“Oh? Planning to become 7a464c4525 a court physician?”06de0925f3dcd388

That was a df4b06dd40 possibility. With his skills, it 8037eec44f would be a waste 06e8bf8d29 for him to remain 9ef6d642f6 just Yeon-oh’s personal physician. Even the Emperor had 09c1c1e6ba once shown interest in cea573ef44 recruiting him.d83739d18995a460

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“His Majesty e32a67f59c has had 21749d322f his eye 28c077e723 on you 0ca9f4634e for a 405e08f186 while. Should I put in 6309e48866 a recommendation on your 8861d391e8 behalf?”3cfed1d5a2098e7d

“That’s not 3f59951410 what I a9a23377fd meant… Never f38c556acb mind.”79a25d267c337d81

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“Ah, or are you b7980e2a68 thinking of getting married? You are overdue. Seok Kyung, 9b13a06a59 you should 483f6799a8 hurry up c960169679 and marry dfaa87a9e4 and have 9a42eb3fb9 children already.”bc3145fab01a246c

For a moment, c6fb10b431 something flickered across d82da32f2e Jo Myeonghwan’s face—something 41aef6ec11 sharp. And just like 568e1141d9 that, the heavy 1a75f3b4c8 atmosphere between them f8d92c1b11 lifted.aa77a0366a825a3b

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That was Yeon-oh’s intention. He hated it when f94bb56a75 people tried to dig 83d8c0062a into him. So instead, he 62d1132585 turned the tables, 27d284b8bc poking at Jo 46a56de964 Myeonghwan’s own secrets 8de5435d3d while keeping his a02e4eee30 own tightly sealed.327694a88a38a81f

”…I have no plans f1042c78ff to marry.”916262f598fd316f

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His eyes, filled with bf532d77e0 betrayal, resentment, hatred—and beneath ed487707d6 it all, a lingering 479da42fe7 grief—were like a vortex 8ac6bc2e77 of emotions that could 2bda484296 pull anyone into their ff8c51f6fc depths. So Yeon-oh looked away ab0bd883e9 first.958819b831b73884

“Then the Jo b6fbb1e972 family’s direct line b7c8266c43 ends with you.”e7a67b58a45c59c5

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“So what? It’s not a c5be8819ee bad outcome.”7c8145df69621929

The cold indifference 3c3eb194ee in Jo Myeonghwan’s 82098de955 voice made Yeon-oh 394e42f93c glance back at f16fe93cde him. Jo Myeonghwan 6591e41772 only shrugged, 7bf4d81942 offering no 294d767149 further explanation.67d66bdca73a5e0c

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“Well, never 7755b6f108 mind me. Now that you’ve come e58f973702 of age, your marriage ef9fe8fb87 will be the next a89f7ec259 big topic of discussion 75c0d4fc86 in the family.”156f16be9f3b97a9

“Most likely.”57a8cb060fab88cf

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Because he had spent a8ac28cf69 his childhood in Hanam, 475803cc4c Yeon-oh had no betrothed. Noble children were 4548113c4e usually engaged before 493cc1c9d7 the age of 11b37384e4 sixteen, sometimes even 47ee7a1bf5 marrying early. While marriages had 62dee7d55c been occurring later 005066cd61 in recent years, 030a5e7129 with some men 113f4649c3 waiting until twenty-three 4f1923133b or twenty-four, families f8ffd8c534 with strong bloodlines 1f70c9c392 still preferred to b067b3ee7c marry between sixteen 063b57e9eb and eighteen.cf7651aab76286f3

Among the 52fd009cb1 direct male 23adf2da5a descendants of 61ff1cab2a the Hanam 951989cf99 Hye family, 9e97850065 aside from f205a00a9b the Prime f1d6ca00bb Minister, Yeon-oh 63ef4fef52 was the 26bfd83c87 only one a300fc0d6b left. Now that his gwanrye 9963100163 was complete, his marriage d1c2457bbb wouldn’t be postponed much 7e5098d8c5 longer. If they 2b09ebdda3 found a 9d16805a19 suitable match, 635e59f9b7 it could 9bff47f29d happen within 72752e8626 a year 0ec894ba88 or two—certainly f8ed6e4e7c before he 4db0448b08 turned twenty.50942925238360d4

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A wife and a b242276b80 child.2c1726206bf61097

It felt foreign. He couldn’t picture ced262ca2d it. But then again, what 682e360f95 was there to imagine? It was bound to f4b00376e3 be a political marriage, f69f8783f2 either to a daughter 3e6e3e4d3f of the imperial family 7afa55679d or the child of 8fb16c1465 another noble house. There would be no 1cd966c61b place for emotions in dc0210bd31 it.8448fd29c0d95072

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Thinking about it, his 8361a67ba4 parents had been somewhat effb0429de of an anomaly.72229f9ca626463f

“I just hope you’ll 4f73ab407a have a marriage that f02a93a1f5 brings you happiness, young ab2bd02e8e master.”8fe22f31260391b4

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“Like my father and f55cd6b184 mother?”338a5ae77b63df8f

“If so, there could f02075f81e be no greater happiness.”85c17c75677447a1

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“Indeed, your parents’ fa78039591 marriage was quite 20fcee6b63 unusual. It wasn’t 4d2a6481d7 a case bcf8bf26f0 of love 4793777e93 blossoming after fb586b38c7 the wedding, c399b9d159 but rather, 9699fc4740 they were 55c97d0564 already lovers 93e48c922e before they 1017a3c5e9 got married.”3ddda7dca7ade588

“Since His Excellency had ca9eafab54 such a marriage, if 55093ccc60 you were to find 61e2621976 someone like that, I’m c49fa7f3fd sure he would gladly 2cbe40f9c7 give his approval.”6ea4cbb010549f98

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“Hmm. Love, huh.”b8efc702e160201e

“……”a240d5ad2a397b62

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“A marriage not e5853f5833 dictated by politics 7773e0314a might seem enviable e2f0eca4f0 to others.”e812990453d9ac3d

Yeon-oh paused 7128994548 slightly between e4a1bcc981 his words a710ad50c1 before continuing 490ede1e53 in a 03e7dc72e4 detached tone.9f68c0f2db92f8ec

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“But I have 7aa8a4bce9 no desire for 146530b775 that kind of 7046419fb9 marriage.”94d83e4cae233f59

So, does that mean 55735f6729 he wants a marriage 02233e8caf without love? Jo Myeonghwan’s 7efd7d3545 gaze lingered 7da7a0da13 on Yeon-oh, 3a2f72e7ad as if 63a4d61809 he was 674b984b57 searching for 00bd820109 an answer 9575402f9f in his 0574b00724 expression. Love—while nice to have, d7cd44e59a was not something Yeon-oh c92f385064 particularly wished for.341ab8b50eb13de8

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Having seen the Prime 11f370bea0 Minister spend over a f0af201120 decade mourning the wife 6a99fd1b4a he had lost, drowning 5b31152cfb in grief and unable 109772cec0 to move on, Yeon-oh b081ac579a couldn’t help but think 469654953a love was the most 02b4bfaafe irrational thing in the 713b146db7 world.2d07e15810255488

To be a088907ba8 so consumed a15277ba96 by emotions, d1b711b654 to be c189e7f57b ruined by 237fc9ab59 love—he could 5d3fff3133 never imagine 36880dc750 himself like 86ee1e8003 that. If anything, he would 069cb202d4 rather marry someone for 53b61ef37b political reasons, share mutual 5b530ad8be respect without emotional entanglements, 6d3a8bce2a and simply fulfill their 925e32a0d1 duties together for the a3ccd9c142 rest of their lives.55f10ebd665927ea

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“You have 7a61f70ecd no sense 0d62f580bd of romance.”14be936b108c36b8

“Because it’s unnecessary.”5b65172bd9a56935

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“But childhood romance often 259ba0012e turns into fond memories 50829cac73 later in life, in f0fa1ec23f one way or another.”242d465e0bbe06fe

Yeon-oh briefly considered asking fcccec4be9 whether Jo Myeonghwan had 2410dffd53 ever entertained such romantic 413e224d35 ideals at his age 91de4b714c but held his tongue. It had been 1f7bbde32b a while since b87982ecfc their conversation veered d345c8057a away from nightmares, 8208d5cfce and he knew 2e26ed06a9 that bringing up 1b3d532df2 the subject would 3bcae76238 only remind Jo 145722edb3 Myeonghwan of the 012e242c2d lover he had 92fdcb487f lost. Yeon-oh supposed 9901ac04ba he was feef6f2ed1 being considerate, 1e094dc6cf though even 2ea24eec27 without his 857683f085 words, it 6d200842f1 was clear b641205a9a that Jo 9d2a7d18c3 Myeonghwan was 0f98263fb1 already struggling c3d07bc6c5 to rid dafce67773 his mind c375450660 of lingering 9a67c5cbd5 memories.7f50ab48144bb712

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“…I think we’ve talked f88c82227a enough. How about a b5cbb7aadb game ofjanggi¹?”c0a0d15152cdd7ca

Before he ed90b96d15 realized it, 72d429bd0b his teacup c46ac0a7ac was empty. So was d61b76e918 Jo Myeonghwan’s. As if determined to 01331e1840 bury his memories, Jo 9c0a0a3628 Myeonghwan gave a nod. Yeon-oh was b248ccc706 about to 599d65737f call for fc2f4e9d9d Ha Seong, 762e4d0f7e who was 3d4685b9dc waiting outside, 3a4eef1b87 to bring 70bc86b298 the board 6fc4045bb3 when an 5087b2f45d unexpected commotion 6da605cc78 outside made 53cb0138bf him pause 4aa14f9a1e and tilt a9a8bed489 his head ff7482fe6d in curiosity.f8358cc936438118

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“It’s gotten 8230faa54d quite noisy 82de5122b1 outside.”efb4f5d5d6ae5cb0

Jo Myeonghwan 090184a7c8 must have b6c84ce0ae been thinking d8512da894 the same b09237993a thing, as 5860bb4c39 he spoke b9e9e9b3e5 up just b506918ec6 as Yeon-oh 2270569e8f had.2822f425bfc3947b

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“Indeed.”be420300ad9dfc79

Up until 2a7161b66a now, he 2799c84285 had heard a967e47eb3 the occasional e61e09ee27 crackle of 85c47ca199 bamboo burning f30bf4a2ca and the 006b67ac3c excited chatter 095976e459 of children, b36cfbb0f0 but the 23d9e9b692 current noise d90181431e was far bf70aee930 louder—enough to 99b56b7807 drown out 3ab6a66149 everything else.24720f6b1d6bc52b

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“We should check it 4aa2b1d840 out.”9c2c5df0cec8f241

As the head of daf99d7e96 the household, anything happening fe15812dc1 today was Yeon-oh’s responsibility. He was 8cdcec790b about to dceefc23a2 call for 87720aa75a Ha Seong bf809cc051 to investigate b7821ad3af when his a6a55ed857 nurse’s voice e4a05155a5 reached him 401b8af0f5 first.d917a441ae413491

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“Young master, you should 1dc1a27d1a come outside.”8774004e4693c43c

“Yumo, what’s going on?”18d70af7a17472f2

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“It would be better 1b79de1ec9 for you to see 5ecb3d973c it yourself. Quickly, young master.”5e08ec1d76216e2d