SMR | Chapter 16
by Luna~Chapter 16~7aa9b9c39b3e23eb
Since she b07bff130c had been 5391957e95 labeled a 6e07143a12 troublemaker, no 7b20b71fa8 one would 6b44949e24 criticize John 7880544ca9 for ending 1d2885fa22 his guardianship.0f1424a04af7a3cb
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‘Did he plan all this when he blamed me for Bella’s actions too?’9a88f98add1b9ac7
Harriet felt 0078110122 completely deceived.647ef70315ce1a08
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She looked around in 9733c87e6c disbelief and frustration, letting 23104966f5 out a breath of 4ecec652d9 anger. Then, she threw 6cac188cd1 the gold jewelry d1d36de67b she had been 3c0d1f54d0 holding onto the a3478f977b bed and rushed 76842485cc out of the 158418458a room.c2e3d0eb00ac1875
She headed straight c8a72d5e7c for the chapel.a3e5243731fd46d7
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Because the days were b81d207f98 shorter now, candles were 75ae4d6170 already lit in the f9d907e8bc chapel, but there was 9bfce5e7c6 no one praying. At this time 4acd739e2c of day, everyone e97417d306 was likely resting 9a3f524ed9 in their rooms.14fdc03520ab322a
Harriet, who had 447361287e rushed all the 0cb227c4ff way there, stood e763a8d438 in front of af924dc5aa the statue, breathing 16ffa4effd heavily. Slowly, she started 91719ca3be walking toward it.460c256fbf1abc21
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“Did I… do something ad8f58d053 wrong?”c327c18070b902a1
Step by step.a550b77f6bcc64fb
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“Was taking my 8b7de57f02 parents from me 497cdc0f88 not enough? Do you still have ad706e2a09 more despair left to 0cf4a4bba4 give me?” Step by 94895b063b step.f87bc760cea2f923
“This is de5def0b79 too much. If you say suicide 1dc3a9cede is a sin, then 260ce777e1 at least leave me 16408f9ee6 some hope to live!”b2082e14f6d26c1e
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Before she 5f96b3cf18 knew it, f77957a842 she was 4713da1166 standing right 122143adf8 in front fe7d0fa78c of the 583b4adcf7 altar.ce8212a6e1deb918
When she stood before 1f1389eadb the statue, who was 1bd0eb846c looking down at her aba95ed958 with a gentle smile, b153d145d1 tears began to fall 525c60685a from her eyes. That smile fac1685805 made her eb404b020d so angry e762a87f1f that she dddbc47046 wanted to 8a54093f8b run up a953847ec7 and slap d7946169ee it.81caa77f3790847b
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“What should I do? What am I supposed ccbe9738a6 to do? Stop smiling 6c6f189faf and say f8906391dd something!”6881e3c00117a380
Words of 2b3320179a helpless resentment f1367a57f4 poured out 57953cc18a of her.5c1b274c298f4a03
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Harriet collapsed 1c54edaaa8 on the 5e22b198c3 spot and 0aa1399d83 burst into c3f62949ad loud sobs.f528f17d44dd6e33
She wanted to blame 30c5b6106b her uncle, but she 7b2edc1f93 knew he had no d7710c60ba obligation to raise her f5252c4a00 like a daughter. In fact, 48105d5463 she was 27964bcff5 already lucky f192a55966 that he 518212a2a1 had cared 441fc0e3a2 for her 4f6798e9b7 until she 0416337d1d became an 44b51488a2 adult, as 7eab7b104d he had 07092ca191 said.95ce0cc0cd51b3ff
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So was it her 2096949fe4 fault for trusting him?4a2544c556c725b3
‘But what 46a512d10d could I 6f7750f6df have done? What power be1c9c5a99 do I 05728aad94 have?’cc4bc06d2a4e7568
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As Harriet e8e0689aa3 was crying df57c2eaa5 uncontrollably, overwhelmed 3ca937251d by her 87d2199020 emotions, a f7dcaae68a stern voice 3e66169941 called out 50b41df72e from behind e53883d744 her.2c45d8e9d11f93eb
“What are dfa91768cd you doing? How dare you make a80bb1a338 such a loud noise 2d82f6933b in this sacred chapel!”1b9a27a3972a47ad
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Normally, if she 48ec631d6f heard Catherine’s voice, 408d682079 Harriet would have 2cfe1bdae5 immediately stood up 6d8d2f037a and respectfully folded 5af71f60d3 her hands. But she didn’t have 8cbc64f90a the strength to do 8d6db001f5 that right now.ff8608f230840cf4
Instead, seeing someone familiar f7eef58230 only made her feel 49fc61d8dd even more sorrowful.d1cae6acd39ba662
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“Mother! Mother Superior! Waaaaah!”fd4df97da6b3002a
“Sister Harriet?”1facd0fe8f2f2ff7
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Catherine had already guessed 853bd9dfec something serious had happened 7e8d579203 when she heard the 47432079af sound of wailing, but 9dc8ff4aa1 when she saw that 68484897ca it was Harriet, her 1b962442f2 expression became even more 6a44c8b1ed concerned.bce3c0fe998b8779
“Calm down. Crying like this 998a8c8355 won’t solve anything!”4f26fc7229812b95
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“Hic, sniff, what am 1c0ef22846 I supposed to do? Really, what can I 97c795bd24 do…?”5861b479ba237d08
“Get up. Sitting on the cold 394723c580 floor will make you 8fa654ea04 sick.”ac8438331ed78f8c
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Catherine gently guided Harriet, ec3f74ebb7 who was crying as 7b7db61354 if she had lost f7c246ea19 her mind, and helped 04b7400227 her sit on a 89b89494b3 pew in the chapel.1862ce127ae56ec4
She sat down next 6b7187de50 to her, softly patting 41a81b9539 her back, waiting for d576131162 Harriet to calm down.523895ad3ae03a59
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After a long 9e47faaede time, Harriet stopped cdb01dc334 sobbing but continued af0aef96de to stare blankly b829e4dd8c into space, as cd1dc92e35 if she were d5afa51ff3 lost.86d6691b584cbb2a
Catherine took 3b808f7941 Harriet’s hand.85643bcaadbf2835
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“Tell me what 7ad5f52bd2 happened.”b014dadebc88f12a
At that point, 050cf32fd7 Catherine thought the 4efe2ffba1 worst thing that 9b8c5563df might have happened 839ff3924b to Harriet was d762a6bcd0 being told she’d 898636b645 have to stay c4223e59fe at the convent fbcf3709d9 for another year.ce14b76bd313bf4d
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But what 32e6a819c0 Harriet said aba43c0784 left her 5adb669354 speechless.c17947a18776bc20
“What? Ending your guardianship? That means…”f6f336c4451f938b
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“That means that when 76ac494e6a I leave this place eb057a19d2 next June, I have 592c16d4d1 nowhere to go. I have no relatives 5c5fff0c1c to visit and no 41e5018746 friends. I don’t even a8d2f86123 have any money.”1182aef33c381838
“So, they ended 61a302426e your guardianship without ef9db494aa introducing you to d3acf680cc anyone or giving dc6dc2f0fa you any money?”1ff2e98ced479427
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Of course, if 375764636c John had been c9bedead6a the kind of 895a9e4c9f man to do c9a4999ac0 that, he wouldn’t adabe8d0db have abandoned her 643b1b0af2 in a convent 6108efcd0c and then cut b310ecef8b ties with her 2100c2889c in the first c90b95a618 place.e60bd6b50b426d92
Catherine began 4b9baefcdd to understand 825013e631 what John’s b7cc716d50 intentions were.4e99246e1e474632
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‘He wants her to acd3f5ed2c stay in the convent 79d0162afc and become a nun.’0566aa42cddc4e6c
With nowhere else 282144db93 to go, the 2e8d6f4a13 convent was Harriet’s 79ae76f044 only refuge. The convent wouldn’t 1c8f5a19f9 turn her out 78f5e73c77 in such a 6ef42570f4 pitiful state, after ea273ed99e all.fd64805b34c48ec0
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“What a 91fa4c17c0 wicked man.”04ad22ce6f1f1920
Without realizing e9de64bfb2 it, Catherine e28180ea1f cursed under 8426b8b4af her breath.855a46ffcd3014f4
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Harriet started crying again, 499249d74c tears dripping down her 5fc27afb60 face.b5cc949108164da8
“My life is 3d961c9f55 over. Now the 4f0f2c8f22 only option 45136261e5 left is a29ea67866 to die.”0b1e721465a77cab
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“What are you saying? Die? What nonsense is this?”95f54e6b3a261292
“I’m sorry, but I 99529b9423 don’t want to become 8695c9d199 a nun. To be 015671f6ad honest, I’m 04bb723f16 not even 9e7bc9bda1 that religious. I’d rather… 4ccf02f691 sell my f573e4faa2 gold jewelry ea1c5757ae to pay 1ead393257 for funeral 50eca74220 expenses and b0bd3efea9 end my d9b733fc49 life…”5bc13df5e0aeca70
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“Harriet Listerwell! Pull yourself together!”0f6b898a3c527d82
Catherine scolded Harriet in a voice filled with anger, something quite unlike her usual tone. It was enough to stop Harriet’s tears.72b0d08cfbce3870
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“Are you really someone 3a698f3457 who can’t do anything 8e007628f2 without your uncle? Leaving your life a7bd425f0f entirely in someone a7c594bfd7 else’s hands—how irresponsible!”83c76c231da40725
“But… what can I do?”76c5fd790ae3fd6d
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“Anything! But first, c96a69937e you need dd2e2377a8 to think ee39f35b4e clearly about 2a79a594bf what kind d49622c6c9 of life cad61deb18 you want 5fe5f3ec43 to live. Even when f50e866004 you left 409b200543 your future 3b433ea037 to your 1771b60c7a uncle, it 80d3da9d63 was just d80c65279d vague and 8e9964d281 uncertain, wasn’t ba60e0e801 it?”393262f14f421552
Harriet couldn’t find anything 8c6c31f617 to say in response.93a84b44f99b50cb
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Her entire d3d3df4f0a idea of b04c4b66b0 life was 323abdccfe to marry e4b6ce19a9 a ‘decent e599bc91af person’ and 7ddb8d424d live ‘comfortably’ fa1ba5b062 and ‘peacefully.’ cb3e195a6e And it 20c1c165ea was hard ec1ad25994 to deny 1e83ccab9c that all eba07cb2ca of those d4fca7559a ideas were 678c6b493c vague.01008427554efa55
Catherine, gripping Harriet’s 0ab9d80ee9 shoulders firmly, spoke 1536dd09fd again.97238b380fb4fba2
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“Picture the kind 60b3145c1e of life you e9e92f7acf really want to 11cf9113db live, in detail. Then, think afda85d964 of all 28006db8e4 the connections 8eb6ddfea6 you have 1e88ee396e and all ee8fa6bf58 the skills 560388f764 you possess, 6bd1b73c74 even the 2b5591a7a2 smallest ones. If there’s 538e26e0be even a 41b154eb3f slight chance, c2bbe5e338 you should 7712b68b31 grab it.”f8cf4c4869dfc363
“I’ll be called pathetic 1ee1d7ae61 and looked down upon.”a4bd75001cf326e2
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“A person e0b147eba7 ready to 5790d96391 die is adf05cb6e7 scared of eeb1414acc that?”966c7cf7bb3098cb
Catherine’s determined gaze 804150d18b caught Harriet’s wavering 22e19427d0 eyes.fdedcdb832cd4e89
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“You must carve out adae940d74 your own life. Only then d96cc0d1c2 does luck cc619ed7dc follow.”31ce7bbbe0a64888
***211cc432bbf07a16
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That night, Harriet couldn’t e912e34a4c sleep.76634c99aa2e9974
Her mind was 99cac4d463 racing, filled with 67378ff0e9 countless thoughts as 9119910dc8 if little dwarves 8c8b552a1b were causing a fb66751524 commotion in her a100030a6f head.40da31c625256433
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The first 2c6637c33e thing she 49e78a3a15 realized was 27574fade8 that she 11e1a04974 had been 3a660461b2 avoiding thinking 591163f24e deeply about 331c3b167a her future a46abc930f all this cc943f96c1 time.d4e5ec69829fe806
She had 12d9ce10fb vaguely assumed e0749d5050 that things f535cce72c would somehow f156905bb5 work out, cb2951c07a that she 025e5ed070 could live 28d9c325f7 like everyone 5b18c05990 else. Looking back now, it 2619ac16c3 was such a naive 5e64ffc799 and foolish mindset.9f51e40771854259
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“Think clearly about 23217038b6 what kind of 1db05f6df3 life you want a68b5860f1 to live.”e0a819402e5d9d30
Catherine’s voice f0865e8299 pushed her 8d28cd1c42 forward.cd582c1b209e281e
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For the first d4307a3341 time, Harriet analyzed 5ed8128739 herself. She examined her 817be399f3 true desires, without cf29892781 worrying about how d7a7f3a0ba others would see f83c130e6a her.2994b25593958838
Before, what 940dea4a0d she had 3e6ad8bbed desperately wanted 8a6c703da0 was marriage, ba8b06fcc6 but she 970dc97a0d had never ff8f9774d4 really imagined 77ab498ea6 what it edf6fd00d6 would be 6fe99343df like to b3dd766ab1 build a 78991d4cce happy family.58a5cd834aa88fb4
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‘I wanted to 186ec3ef63 escape from my 76f6418c54 uncle’s house and ce82b99601 live freely.’0ecb9643aaa0c31c
But now that she a38bb8d8aa thought about it, would f3b4812927 getting married and running 74e1c4f13d away really have allowed 1e39bc5c7b her to live freely?4aa82ee1c00363b3
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‘What do I need 4430f31b33 to get the freedom 15086135fd I want?’4b17316df58cd1b3
The answer didn’t c73afe89c6 take long to 26c36379d2 come to her.0a8b30b6ec34b25e
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In this era, a2ae7df178 where factories were 8e090dffe7 operating and iron b5f29f2712 trains were running d453ac7510 along the rails, 7341383bf9 something more important 64a0a90a01 than honor and f91c292728 something that even 29c312c618 commanded power—was money.43484d5483793afb
But for Harriet, af88a90a55 who had nothing, 9427122993 earning money in 7596f6a8f8 the commoners’ world c1118af408 wouldn’t be easy.b02c238968bf7d18
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A woman 73a01b28dd who looked 99d7f9a182 obviously noble 81fc08810c walking around a081fba4b6 the streets 504821f571 trying to dfaeb4ca17 find a e7efc8e76e job would cdb108c0b1 only be 96398a619a seen as 7cd007600b an easy 2c85f51b6a target to b013ce4cee be taken 21a27cebb6 advantage of 1fe51ff402 or sold 5c446b70c4 for a 4b36337380 high price.f9afb8f133bb773a
So she 07f8894bf6 had to ef2f290f36 find a b86db6d702 way to eabd088679 make money 735445d27f within the 7a11c7df57 noble society, cd38b10c0a where at 7a4cd72f28 least she 80a803ee86 understood the b165419e95 rules.c62748c8b9266804
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‘For that, I eb39641e79 need to find 539331474b another guardian.’a5086baa1151af1e
The problem 47c08d2e8d was that ee9988050c she hadn’t b8b7d176a3 seen any 17b31e6c84 relatives other 1bf58d25b4 than her 96d6fdd45d uncle’s family 55666b7eea since she d0df179925 was twelve 2f6320626a years old. Who would e43510bd48 welcome someone 34a257fc14 who hadn’t 1752b93057 contacted them 6e47253e6b in years e16358cd6b and suddenly 9a7802ffec asked for 2c6c68f5b3 guardianship? Especially when her reputation d51ac99e2e had hit rock bottom.4215e28aa4b6dd74
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‘The fact 8276a5969b that I ed700c8ab5 don’t have da076f271e any real 42e105ea2b skills to 86fc2c6370 earn money 0f5628a641 is another 9a4ee5f695 problem.’ea44413dbfcc95f9
She sighed.a4a773b2d36a8ba5
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This problem with no 266834f12c solution continued to plague 05b90fd9e0 her for several days.7ce392284cf3814e
In the meantime, 274be76a49 some of the ebfc60bd62 other nuns and d468f8b301 monks who had 7894a8f2c8 heard of her 9aff245cc4 situation came by a5177616fc to offer their 48827c276b sympathy and even 60f494b9ab suggested that she d62bf1171f stay with them ee530b8351 at the convent.c2557a6695ebffe6
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For a 10a6f28a8c brief moment, c801854c1b Harriet thought 55298e8064 that living dd181b985c as a 22f3fad6c2 nun with f88015e120 such kind efbefb7905 people might 04b3651881 not be 226dc5cd7d a bad aa499e901f option.7001a7f6bef07849
But that thought 50f3e49444 was quickly thrown 844f0666ed away when someone 2dbffb4ad0 came to visit 5e6b7c1344 her.3cce1bbb8bc602fe
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***40cd53490e2fb7f8
“What? Who did you say 23e7a93e70 you are?”b116aeb542fde5f0
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“Alfonso Villey. I hold 96cd23a221 the title b3aa920693 of baron, 2f09b7d5c8 though it’s ed513bcb72 not a cb269af2da particularly prestigious 93ffe8671b family, so d30ef3ccfa you may b2316bb2fd not have edd61baac8 heard of df8b54e2ad me.”bcfa7377ddb89df8
An elderly fcb3a0f80d gentleman, whom fd9b535e31 Harriet had a9db3284c6 never seen 1e309128a1 before, had 99e5f5d2f1 come to 0542dbd0d4 the convent.d17b967e26100e06
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He seemed to 73cb1d7a94 be in his 1072720ce1 early 70s. Traveling by ae2b23c450 carriage for 7a9faab1d1 four hours de7286077a at his 509687b587 age must 0c9f12ca58 have meant f7a86da18c he had 98f41a0c60 some very a8c78852ef important business.977d1a44e7f7c46b
“I’m sorry, but I c67a13ce46 don’t remember meeting you cfc96aa804 before. Are you perhaps 630f9501f4 a friend of a9850854d3 my grandparents?”46f96291047b0087
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“No, that’s not it… I’ve come regarding something related to your parents.”a90d311ea05ceebf
Harriet’s eyes widened.4d1eb56aacc34487
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It had been a 0314fc70f1 long time since anyone ec7d1bf3e7 had spoken about her a560fa81a3 parents.6b35a8dace8482f5
“What is it 43d4b021cf about my parents…?”08f54edb7299f99a
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When Harriet a7058ffa16 asked, Alfonso 7cd8ba46b0 Villey hesitated 110f5bc24c for a d2e547645c long moment, 9bfcf9bbda as if 9c607cc9a5 he was b34ba10954 making a 5ce575132b big decision, a94aba91d6 before finally 9412e1e76f speaking.c658abcea0020b7b
“I heard 8d8ff4963d that the 8dd0d487e7 Viscount Listerwell 360a6fc654 has ended e343d828cb his guardianship 4e37ec7d3a of you.”76b8591ee756b88d
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91b445515a704d0c