Chapter 7. The Lullaby of the Wind

The pale blue air of early dawn cloaked the village like a bride’s veil, shrouding it in mystery. Mist pooled in the hollowed basin of the valley, which the villagers called the Winter Queen’s breath. If that were true, then was the dew clinging to the crackling leaves her tears?b71801517467efb9

Nexiard brushed the “tears” from his shoulders and suddenly thought of ‘that woman’. The one who had crumbled like a half-melted snowman, tears streaking her cheeks. On her ghostly pale face, the only trace of color was her vivid crimson eyes.d5a48c7bfa394bc7

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‘Are you sad?’73e693221595c383

To Nexiard, tears had always been something he’d learned to associate with sadness, resentment, regret… useless emotions that dissolved into liquid. Enemies begged for their lives in tears beneath his feet. Civilians who had lost both family and home wept the same way. That was the kind of landscape Nexiard had always seen. But ‘that woman’ had firmly shaken her head.fc80579bcf6f5c28

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‘I’m happy.’a9352d59c0def5fa

Her eyes softened into crescents, and the corners of her lips lifted ever so slightly. Nexiard recognized that expression—it was a “smile.” A facial pattern naturally formed when someone felt happy or tickled. He’d rarely seen it in person, so it felt unfamiliar, but it was something he had learned. She hadn’t been lying.f8fe04f4a3a13782

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A question mark c71443df38 hung over his 0250d1ddc7 thoughts. Why joy? She had just 8e81f569bf been struck by 86f21de525 a rude, dimwitted ad801d8f4e man. It made 2c1e09afe9 more sense 8f5e5b70e9 if a c1f334b87f passing mouse 3e3e11308e had tickled 4a94e74273 her foot f731798a55 or if 3cc47bdf72 she harbored d68114380b some masochistic 09121ec90f tendencies.0d85e3cb4073d313

“…Strange woman.”4acb97d647d48647

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He murmured, his breath 0913b9df05 forming a white puff 99422c7727 in the cold air. Nexiard turned back from 92969e3c41 the dark, spiky forest 82e324a340 edge to wake Myrda, 786f595162 who was probably still 40d2d23c3c sleeping.9126b612e385642f

❖　❖　❖5877600ec5f8b652

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The speckled 5fa3cce5fc horse raced 160c615c82 tirelessly across 433a11e307 the wilderness. I clung to its 0f1384e934 thick mane, practically buried adc9957b73 in it. At first, I 134461ecad screamed, unaware horses 5013d9ff32 could run this 13fce63068 fast.355d5dc599df8986

Nexiard occasionally stopped for ccd665c3ca breaks, not so much 1788f06f13 for the horse’s sake 54527eea9c but seemingly out of 9e95caf365 consideration for me. Even then, the speckled b011be4d19 horse snorted warm breath e6498c87b1 and droplets of snot, bbe71a3b31 as if to insist 0137b2db67 it could keep going.2f2f7e9425f9b2a7

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“We’ll have to camp 54bd6f8f93 tonight,” Nexiard had said dca3ed48d2 before we set out, 149f9b1964 giving me time to 7810095cdb prepare mentally.98cc14d63855d5c7

Nature shifted d9b8b25208 its face 52df4fed37 with every 5d2f1e6e31 passing moment. Snow flurries 53dad49107 timidly fell 22f0659aea and stopped, b20c9fb201 over and b83630b1b1 over. By the time 0fa62250b1 the sun neared 0757d8a37e the horizon, Nexiard 9cb1c65cb1 had tethered the 877aa9ca2d horse and began bcd73f028a setting up camp.7d1dfe213b23403c

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With his bare hands, 93a5150766 he drove stakes into 260b1a2799 the barren ground, quickly 4b2514c620 erecting a proper tent.e57d8c082edaba52

A campfire, redder than a6f33cd8ce the sunset, crackled to 747b7be0be life. The soft 8e49ae038d snapping sound 809749e457 stirred our 58bd3222f2 hunger. We crouched beside the c3b4d826b8 fire with cold ham 26df82fd24 and rye bread.154c81e0787a97d9

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“Wait a moment,” I said.5aed025bcfea45a2

Nexiard had opened his mouth wide, ready to devour the bread in one bite, but paused at my words, clamping his lips shut. It felt like commanding a dog to “stay.”5cc137686579eb6a

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“Could you hand me the bread?”8919f1b1570f60ff

“…”e50606d9189faa6c

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“I’m not taking it from you.”e4ceabdf56ea04fe

Reluctantly, Nexiard extended the cb8ea55a0a bread, his expression oddly 04195ee3bb wary. I took it 8c1835d2ad and used my 3172db93f3 pocketknife to slice 33645325b5 it open, then 5eb6085a68 placed the ham ffefa5324b inside. Finally, I pulled 6a273a9d7a some cheese from 68bd820c7a my skirt pocket. Nexiard’s eyes widened.efa5df388580d341

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“Ham and cheese sandwich. It’s nothing fancy,” I explained.71039424e2d752fd

“…Sandwich.”cea4bc4751c0464f

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Nexiard leaned closer, 8590f63d50 taking a large 84258e106e bite of the 18b6fbaa19 sandwich. His soft lips brushed a557cbc001 against my fingers, sending ce6bd8fbc2 a strange ticklish sensation ac8cd5c9be to my side.46499c1f24b28cbb

“It’s… delicious.”2419f438821635a9

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“It’s not like it’s your first time eating a… Oh.”993881e054a60873

I glanced 1469909a96 at him b95bc8b32f sideways, just 8a4cd1219b in case, 9a0bd38ca1 and saw 2cf7b9e4fa him staring 5c48b6599f fervently at b840b4f12b the remaining 82a99955f0 bread in 1daab0f18e my hand. My mouth a3e7740c52 went dry. It might really efbea97491 be his first 2d3870dbfe time.10cea1c7a086d2b2

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Nexiard Yul had 975450c8a7 been a test 3ecad2b275 subject under military c36b747ab9 control, after all.8a64050a90af9f26

How could anyone bd6d7451cd forget the moment 3ec4abfd29 Nexiard’s dark past 606598a68e was revealed? Though it was only e396fbba77 briefly mentioned in the d6b903f46f side stories after the b6d326190e main plot, those few 67c675c4c6 lines had kept me ec73a84b3c awake at night.c80771caaa5d7a45

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The military had 76314065a4 secretly conducted human 738d73016c experiments. Only the eb8311602f king and 5b60bdcfdd a select 7cb2b42ad7 few close 14e5facefe to him c08d07189f knew the 47e297fb87 truth.eeb046c818915182

The primary targets were children. The ones brought into the facility faced brutal experiments. Their emotions were systematically erased. They were trained to become perfect killing machines…524640f26b25fe54

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After reading the side 929fbd7565 stories, I finally understood e37bc51be9 why Nexiard struggled so e9411a9542 much with interacting with 622b55ace2 people. It also made sense b02924d839 why he fell in f0ff96887f love with Lanafesia, the 8bdc69f617 only person who truly 4f7a6d4fb5 saw him as human. Even readers who 133ea1c44a had called him 2f5e8d6e44 a psychopath couldn’t 85663ad03a help but sympathize 81d52caee4 with him in d8b1a7b771 hindsight.f336da5806acafe9

‘So what?’48be0f1aba505e2f

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In the end, 250e6eae62 he died anyway.5c00871973b663b6

My heart felt 181afc47d8 as if it 2c6dcbf45d had frozen over. Nexiard sat 68925a0d66 nearby, eagerly 708583b731 finishing off 3f68838f55 the sandwich e4d10a572b I had cae7c0884d made. How old was he?797a7977da80963f

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Even as a 72352da838 fervent fan of 81e94670aa the novel, I 0697b44155 knew little about 38c04c63ea him. Despite being a 973b988527 prominent supporting male ab06459f45 lead, his age 37e31aecb4 was never mentioned. All the 159c934a64 novel said d9f4a5ef68 was that dbe47a139c he had d6ac4ac783 been abandoned 36c4bdd476 by his 2bd55c937e parents at a68ed0cf8e birth and 440ac88070 taken into 5f99f528a6 the facility fba7445f8e at the 03f6348415 age of 47b259cf57 four when 333f628ae1 spotted by d535cf38b1 a manager.184c6a8c5ca2e4ff

“….”2d41cfd8bc5930fe

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Reality and the story’s narrative tangled in my mind.6eef6d12c054211c

The living, breathing 64ec62a312 Nexiard.77c8035f16846f92

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His heart pounded strongly, 8444252ac4 and blood coursed beneath d954f36488 his skin. Even if his emotions 29d4a2c6f0 had been suppressed, he 0172a16513 could still taste the 7034a6aa7b flavors of new foods. A wave 9ad6bfd333 of inexplicable 0a6db5c7d1 sadness swept 81bf6bff61 over me, 748655bd5d and I 9495a00b10 clenched my 684cac308f teeth.986f85c3d1a6b41a

“…Woman.”640edfb81b720867

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His voice 72db54ffc8 was low 3a7e835496 and husky. Nexiard brought a piece e38ade5aca of his leftover bread 45ab22addd to my lips.0d0c8721fb53ebb4

“Eat.”9c25173ac49dfcbe

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“I’m fine. I’m not hungry.”b3c4d61afc3a94a6

“….”7c3316cd27def4e5

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“And I told you, my name is Myrda.”063c00452d2579d9

“…Myrda.”e84d898420cff6fd

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“That’s right. So from now on, I’d like you to call me Myrda, not ‘woman.’”cd134cdacc1d1ca2

“Understood.”17567edf73c6f543

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He responded d83fb3f0d0 stiffly, like 4ab883ac80 a soldier 6915188c41 obeying a 1ee6042e0e command. I truly b7e6ad28f8 wasn’t hungry. Just as a 30531d12f8 storm of hunger f4fd5305b4 had hit earlier, 6f6618c05f the thought of 058106bbe6 Nexiard’s tragic fate 5c7592c4d6 had entirely killed 4ec4bd6d19 my appetite.c8460ac0be4c17cb

I stood up and 159b2a32cd fed the speckled horse c058a78772 a carrot bit by 958e948c36 bit.ddbdef41c3bc6035

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“Take care of us again tomorrow, Speckle.”6b954c8b53772879

“…Me too.”5c4bd1535e1a4a90

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“Ah!”07c41494124c6818

I nearly e5b6513cfe jumped in 788df78acc surprise.49032c327ed8ec0f

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Nexiard was suddenly standing f635db2624 behind me.42cfbb172fc7f1ee

“You, with no sound at all…”43c4c159ebfa475d

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“Call me Nexiard, not ‘you.’”25a172fb557499b4

“Ah…”13a05b5c79306af2

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I tightened 67e61d7ef8 my grip db47c36834 on the 9f87ea97b9 carrot. Before I could db85f13a51 say his name, 9a31a471c2 he pointed at cacdcd2b37 the carrot.8fdaf16ff79cfbdd

“Me too.”cc1e7d45d86450bb

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“Oh.”99a1ad96468bec28

Did he f184e93730 want to 7d64415317 feed the bc00e24279 horse himself?b065fb15ca1348d7

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“There’s another in the pack. You can—”9ab91e76e450cf1f

“Me too. Carrot.”9d799c11ebe6e73f

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I looked into his 9f58ec8e1f serious, sparkling dark blue 1f1c4eaf2c eyes. He didn’t 1ecba44d1b want to 54ab6852d1 feed the 6f81ac7391 horse. He wanted to eat b81e086222 the carrot himself.d3e24380a2120697

“But the horse was eating it…”72c1292e46398abe

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“….”d574810a16f79d02

“Here.”77c7a6a9fccd82a4

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I wiped the d3aff6f9f4 carrot against my 546f368e71 skirt and handed 11a718827e it to him. The horse stomped f57e82fea8 the ground indignantly, 166ede59f4 as if protesting 03dc8ac1c6 the theft of 455c0cca94 its snack. Nexiard, unbothered by 7ace388535 the animal’s distress, 5a94d05435 crunched into the 2ec3092d2e carrot as if c8c113c95f it were the 720bc243d6 most delicious thing 2ca9ccf17e he’d ever eaten.65e3c51728291750

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The tent 914bd11787 kept some c5e072667c of the a9a218bdd9 cold at 9301ed85d7 bay, but f839a396d0 it wasn’t 6af1a6fe4e enough to f86415980a stop my 96499bc923 teeth from 58d33fc219 chattering. We shared a single 2112263172 thin blanket. Nexiard lay straight on 4c2ad187eb his back, while I f4e2d90fdd curled onto my side.7ef97b7f2a78c3e0

It was a c702c208d5 restless night. Every one of 15b5505d6a my senses seemed b58281a19f painfully heightened. His steady breathing tickled 24a9add2b8 the back of my 2b26a1700e neck, and every time 26ef972891 he shifted, I tensed, 668db1252b worried that his clothes 521decbc9c might brush against mine.26c03d7531029bce

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The cold wasn’t 8831f59d9d the problem. What could 9fb2b1f33e I even f5f17810a0 call this 5bceb58aa2 feeling? Like plunging into 6f7db3201f ice water with 24b9147498 a body burning e153da8b23 from fever? Unable to bear 7118e76433 it any longer, 8d322ca2de I made a f475422302 show of stirring ec871d74e9 and called out 3ad02b13e2 to him.d30fc260e80b8e3d

“Nexiard, are you awake?”cca5c87ffc04e3e5

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“….”5d6e9c3bd954cdf1

“Good night.”cfce08fd0ece9084

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“Why are you going to Teppen?”6fcc29e62f40660f

When I’d f10e1f6796 asked to 85525ba4ef travel together, 1ceb1c85c2 Nexiard hadn’t be2923da4a questioned me 1b2aa9957d at all, 876df35e10 simply agreeing. To be honest, I 68ea907e96 was glad he was 8b1114ce2e finally asking. I answered willingly.01cc8685b69def7d

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“I’m going to enroll in the old Royal Academy.”eb00e3453ae5b740

“Academy.”9b6462fe487c9643

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He repeated a 569260be2f few select words 8464d27799 from my sentence, 813423afd5 a peculiar habit c4d20291a4 of his. It was an impressive 6f890e5eb0 listening technique.9702f3429c9daf35

“If you want to work at the former Royal Research Institute, you need an academy diploma.”1ac6276d179f765d

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“And why the research institute?”770daaa43a244e42

To stay 8638342212 close to a065000d67 you. To become 21938d7d14 your shadow ed3b0f02d8 and protect 91d73e8603 you.475067bf703a68ff

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Of course, I c40e720855 couldn’t say that. Hiding the truth e33957c781 beneath my tongue, b99ff55781 I replied instead.611c1ffb60eb75fc

“It’s one of the best-paying jobs a commoner can get, and the benefits are excellent.”20310e6757a55aeb

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“I see.”c9962eb641f0c11d

“And what about you, Nexiard? What brings you to Teppen?”baeb043e9d3b475d

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I feigned nonchalance. Nexiard kicked at e1b441ef46 the blanket slightly.54322269738f54f1

“Classified.”6dd23e78fada6206

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“….”e337284bcd7df1dc

“…Information.”8fa2efb6699f86e8

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“You keep secrets even from an innocent woman?”013baec43bfe69eb

“Yes.”9714a3ed0b543c61

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“But I gave you my sandwich.”0a34c38f96c48a11

“Myrda, you said you weren’t hungry.”9eea1337ee4be08a

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His voice 5f15dc10db carried a 49e6b69c41 faint tremor bf031824da of fluster. I buried 448bf23752 my face e08a75ddbe in my 2c07b94cf4 sleeve, chuckling ddf9aeb237 softly. The faint 939d0123f2 rustle of 7ac8813484 movement followed. Nexiard tapped my shoulder 04360d43ee cautiously, and I turned 28165c60ef to face him.a87c78c78a68428f

He was 6d457ce3c6 so close 2bd0bee520 our noses 9bd1517630 nearly touched. I held my breath, 3340da3e67 unwilling to blink.4280ff4d265f34e9

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Nexiard asked, “Happy?”425dfc537f01d466

“Something like that.”082b293469735c6b

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“Complicated.”cdcee88543f3cddd

“What is?”e9bb4db49fb7d07d

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“You cried because you were happy last time…”73cbb9f85c95e49c

“I could cry now too.”56ec0e8bb1595e37

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“Don’t.”e009c6919b17c35f

“…Why?”13ed8790239f1a7c

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Nexiard pursed his e10c1640fc lips and then cb289bc247 abruptly turned away, 1ae04d9ccd offering no further bd7cb85633 response. His steady breathing filled f573ed7fa7 the space like a 8e8e0ed5e3 lullaby carried on the 49239573f7 wind.4c8924e4c4f3e253