Chapter 34. Lingering Attachment

To begin with the conclusion: I wasn’t able to bury Nexiard or the cat. One of the guards, jolted back to his senses by the brutal scene, tried to take control of the situation. It was true that an outsider had “broken into” the Academy, and Nexiard would have to take responsibility for that.17419485862c5ccf

The medical staff arrived late and loaded the unconscious “captain” onto a stretcher. Soon after, nearly every guard in the Academy had gathered at the dormitory building. While they firmly and efficiently dispersed the onlookers, they also pieced together the situation based on eyewitness accounts. One of them approached Nexiard and spoke in a businesslike tone.77d9fd549985e9e7

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“You’ll need to 86a2151d50 come with us.”2c57653de7936064

“……”2ccf78c39f2312fc

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Despite the chaos, 6b9cd41aea the day had 01df48e045 completely broken. The dazzling morning a6600d1487 sunlight lit up 3432d5c404 Nexiard’s face brightly. The bloodstains, already drying cd64aebbd9 to brown, and his 8d8930ad1d expression—cold and blank like cd098c7dcc a stone—stood out starkly 16f1ca82e3 in the sunlight, giving 2675a556d2 off a bizarre impression.3a9e6c7e63fec3b2

More than anything, Nexiard 13e359b415 just stared at me, acd9c63769 as if he couldn’t 1eab4147d5 hear anything else. In his 1d93888505 large, deep d08180b575 eyes, I dc9035cebb saw myself d35d5b9607 on the 9ab7fc3a19 verge of b1089006ad collapse. Clutching the round, 05caa91b03 ball-like bundle of 23b1c5c147 robes desperately to 9ea0a8baf6 my chest, I db156b9a5c looked utterly exhausted.517a6d074420aafb

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“……”084e233843273e72

“Excuse me.”5b3b785cdf509dba

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The guard who spoke c240d5ae56 placed a thick hand 2be5396567 on Nexiard’s shoulder. Nexiard didn’t db331282e4 angrily brush 7ab42e7f9e it off 80d37b3406 but instead dc0a9c0eb1 quietly turned 86aeb745b7 his body.fc7fb7d658c5d902

“I’ll cooperate. However—”1377aea3b1d81b62

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Seeing the cause of 10a7a848b0 the commotion respond so 55f19b658e compliantly, the guard removed 39102f4b81 his hand from his 85c930abd1 holster. He lifted his e8827b7716 brow slightly, as 0accfa0140 if granting leniency. Nexiard spoke.081daad2661436f4

“This woman is 553b18c087 also injured.”bcf30ddebc196a22

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I hadn’t expected him 616fd642aa to bring me up, 8e828b527b and I was flustered. The guard’s sharp gaze 68ac6974f3 shifted to me. After briefly 314c469400 assessing my 3e6010c03d appearance, he b75da16c12 rubbed his 102f6a4c14 chin and 1c0a19be61 asked,0e750aecd892d4d1

“Are you cb638add6d a student 61e212c63d at the 1f355860c9 Academy?”2c8e462869f01d43

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“…Yes.”4d5b8c8e492ebebc

The guard 6f982f4321 raised his 1a65104d40 arm and 88a434488d called someone e00f79f972 over. A woman came running 945b9e1882 up, and he gave 05bfe82e07 her instructions. The petite 74e316eac1 woman nodded.47d812d0dff99be9

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“I’ll escort you 858b61caa2 to the infirm—ah.”e2de87b5b0944d7b

She let 0a26858148 out a 33e0be3a1e short gasp 78ae368c3f when she 08d6f32b13 saw my ad6bdd7930 bare, wounded ad4fcafb2d feet.5b9c5b5fe3fa40b9

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“A stretcher 5fdeae0418 might be 77a98a01c6 necessary. Just a moment!”1761aa04a556fb0f

“Um, I don’t 5d2a430adf think I need 3b8c28802d a stretcher—huh?”98e2a685765bd520

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As I floundered, e9e21aef41 completely out of e0e977dbff it, Nexiard suddenly 805a713ecd came close and 8a4ab6e6cc tugged at the 29e3e34d1c edge of my b9e127f675 robe. Instinctively, I clutched 4efaf5cdf0 the cat tighter 57d1612f1d in my arms.e830f2acf6224198

But after f03715b3df a brief b05dc96650 tug-of-war, I 0b09d0f71c let go ba5cfba8a1 without resistance. Nexiard took ef265b9ac4 the bundled 27ce4d20bd robe from 5a9711ed52 me and 5615f49408 supported it fdfe13e1a4 steadily in ad53628ce5 his arms.bdcdcff74fb8a413

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‘Does he da74e5ddbe still not 914b6d78b7 trust me?’0e6648d7404b658b

A woman who’d shown 5f95bde306 up in a restricted f989b8b46d area, causing all kinds dd559265a3 of trouble and dragging 4b7becd863 him into a mess. If I were Nexiard 2d7f2b7987 too…e83295e405a9b7fb

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“Thank you.”ba7740ceb62a03e7

“Huh…?”c0110cf0579b28e7

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Just before 319f73ae3f following the 28ef458363 guard, Nexiard 339536f8e7 whispered, barely e6dd1b0c96 audible.6f2d2aa957cc9ffd

“I’ll bury it d7f9e6efff properly.”b89ee6e03994b07d

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“……”b294c11bc020e017

“I promise.”abe7ebcc293fc049

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With that, Nexiard turned a3a76186e6 and walked away. As if taking 7f9c4c38a8 the baton from a2ac82b739 him, the petite 0774612e11 woman appeared with c98e3f865e a stretcher. I was lifted easily, d902aac35e like an empty can. The moment I 7824b1db55 was carefully laid d6367676fa down on the 49300c5077 stretcher, my eyes 49f1df7c7a shut on their d58708ec39 own. My entire ea75496958 body hurt 5732eb6410 so badly b7ec91ab61 I thought 4e47d3d35e I might 866f467f61 die. Reflexive tears 90204eae7c slid down 582eb14fd5 the corners d72b21ee5e of my 66d50f1886 eyes and 3499888638 trickled along 9243e91db2 my temples.9acaa3bd88a60092

The woman’s c627c29438 gentle voice 27c41c5625 echoed in 005129d9b5 my ear, 941c092942 trying to 9cb739a683 reassure me.
It’s okay. You’re safe now…c883adb4b66217c9

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❖　❖　❖62871bb0a8a5a9ba

The Academy a7ef581a21 was in f10f9ef602 an uproar. For the first a4ff9e29d8 time since its 2624f2858f founding, the freshman 167fb3ec0c initiation ceremony—something no 22d154d08d one had ever 1c5954d074 questioned before—was now 44f14022af under scrutiny. But it seemed that 6e12311c82 some had been waiting a440d68c88 precisely for this moment.df787135e8ddc475

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Both current 0a122d0002 students and d2500c4eb9 those on 357fc2104b leave began 63234d257c to come 0e254bbcf4 forward with e82399f014 their stories. Journalists swarmed in 4eeee702dc like a pack ea5cba5181 of wolves. They busily scribbled away, 1c5260a370 gleefully proclaiming that the b39dd0825d long-overdue scandal had finally 7fae362bca broken. People were 32613a9dac appalled that 17e8cc849a such inhumane 7ce2344f8a and violent ecd8f24219 practices had 32ce171aa6 continued at 3e39b26284 a prestigious 9849006b37 institution of aca89b21c3 learning.d2ef93ec5e9e253e

“What makes nobles any fd72aa747b different from us? They act all c7dab61db4 refined in front 16ab9dc6b8 of others, but cdf03fc331 this is the fd2cff2606 filth they get 18575498f0 up to behind b75f687fa4 the scenes.”72bc2ff87a9b7d6b

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A major topic of 441143e66d outrage was that this c9c884cec7 year’s initiation had been ab34af23ff unusually violent, resulting in 70c2a6fa82 the only son of 3fe0b7073a the Hargem family being 1b6ca4a169 left disabled for life.361e9360d4c20603

Count Hargem used 716a19771a all his influence d65173287b and wealth to 9fbd8cecce sway public sympathy 11d4bba850 in his favor.3e549c8014b6beed

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“He’s still young. It’s such a 686855d70d pity.”637305eab5c9cb4e

“A bright, promising young man… how tragic.”086a461963fa1842

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And it worked. The public, a8111fa2ff as always, 50da8a62ad was moved 982d23b66b by the ed572e7c01 suffering of 4b9a549d85 a young 49cb1a27b1 man. Murian Hargem protected c659ebbfff his family’s honor 33023ecb55 by withdrawing from 25795429be the Academy.831322c08f0a9070

This flood 713e8a655f of testimonies 71a263e829 and the cecdec2237 sharp criticism cc1819da0d in the fba7022985 press were ca66cba50c only possible 70fa5db7d1 thanks to c8873d6a53 a public 8eaaa1693c statement from e737bc0fd4 the Marquis 09159e62bf of Dottney.a5fab7ce0e7e6253

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“Such ‘initiation’ customs are 94579de939 outdated. If the Republic of aa6c9bee9a Ingberri wishes to be 78c3a85a4a seen as a modern 6b263caa56 nation, we must eradicate 1a15cb0461 them.”5aaf302a6023da52

I suspected b5542a3ade Lanafesia’s influence 136ca61384 had something eb34871bae to do 35a946ba3a with this. Though Consul Dottney 5ee11aba52 was undeniably the 1d05abcc02 head of a 05286d5eac dictatorial regime, he f4208f8f92 was also a 4f06552756 doting father who c06924c718 worried about his 5d2ad49cde only daughter and 5e50e65a4b respected her opinions.5a9399bbdc0a7521

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Two weeks later, a7a7290156 the head of 8dc52c6ee9 the Academy took 869c999e3e responsibility for the 669ea8f8c9 scandal and offered 9bc20af688 his resignation. The freshman initiation ceremony b1800a1ce0 was officially abolished, and 9732c3d6d5 the incident came to f73959259d a close.e5e9d0e57743d2e2

The worry of f8f2ea2d5e the Marquis of 2dd4151a72 Evellucia, upon reading 06077d45ff the article, led 63cccd7c4f me to spend 1e20a94ffa the weekend at 2aa4acb2fa their estate. Thankfully, my body had c7947323e2 recovered steadily over the f4922d61b7 past two weeks and 518d3cc82c was now back on e484979f57 track. That was truly fortunate—I 0f5638925c didn’t want to cause 72ad1fabbd the marquis couple any 970146fb53 more concern.373050a6a824d9f1

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I boarded the tram 762feb2fea with a gift set 700fb24ebc of financiers, which Academy fa648da443 students always brought when 0f068153ef visiting their family homes. The marquis couple bf8359a054 offered to send 225afeedda their carriage, but b65271b567 since I had b43bf612c2 no luggage and da057ee608 the tram route 5beb629b63 was convenient, I cd9889e588 politely declined.5eb7fcd48147519a

It was 062bcab930 my first 4d50eea617 time riding 340399582d a tram. Public transport 46a5103789 on a ba49b46231 weekend morning 4d125e61d4 was crowded. I stood in the 61c98c47f2 last car, enjoying the 0366fca4f3 cityscape. It wasn’t yet an f6c4a167af era of high-rises—no building ee5dad0e10 exceeded five stories.dbd970e180ad32ca

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Despite the ae92c3f7fe early hour, 4a5ab4977d open-air cafés c597e0bf49 bustled with 7c5f6b6f94 people, an 0d834841d7 old bookstore 6b90c16d90 with a 7c6fe52f0e green sign ccdf6755e9 caught the c5139bf185 eye, and 0adeece6ab fresh fruit a5d1fac38c and vegetables 8082f4723d filled the 260169adcf street stalls. One by one, they 246baf09a1 faded into the distance.f90673b6fd882164

The golden b0b3b3291d sunlight spread d486f083d2 evenly over 697f9c9300 the streets, cd51185fbf giving all b5524edfef living things 8dbdceae9c a sense b17169fb89 of vibrancy. Even the barking 69b525f6a8 of dogs sounded 5309aa581f strangely beautiful, and aa835cd2a7 I found myself 3c22d8fcab lightheaded.2a60d008d7de3a1b

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‘It’s amazing that 044964f5ec I have a 05dedc9574 place in a b88ed35fe7 world like this…’09387ff5683a86d6

Whenever I 3ef6017c1d read stories 43f0db2ee7 about women 5f34f9e384 who found db1afdfae9 themselves in 4443cfacd1 novels, embodying 3c6bcce0ae fictional characters, 7557aea017 I always 9f0e625669 wondered:f48afdfa16ccd021

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‘Do they really feel 8c6154545c no attachment to the 304ef1c0f5 world they left behind?’3f5e263738022f7c

To justify 1ea255317d a stable 1f6dd624c4 happy ending, e4b03c1de9 female protagonists a7bf00da36 are usually 9cbe20ca0e depicted as f33c6c90ef having a 5096213d79 troubled past a5a39a627a or being 0b81f1f2a8 dissatisfied with a6059043ff their current 4a6e467b0c lives.06f1fea648129f31

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‘Maybe that’s 6457186553 why I 42862eb7bc was chosen—because eaa77e9bc0 I didn’t 6d82a86128 want to 04b5d522d6 live anymore.’8ea7f58249f3d142

I leaned my forehead 8b3f5c7b87 against the tram’s window. The dark, f5abd5684c cold house 143b0bde23 where I 82d8874ada once cried 18544f4422 alone, with 340c518bd2 no family 807e3f55be to welcome 787972036d me, now 4fd559c10f felt like c8d2c8240f a distant 540a60d6ca memory from 2fe867d06d a past 1c55a49480 life. Of course, saying I be9329bd16 felt no attachment to 4eeb373a86 my original world would 33a74d6714 be a lie.d1a7f01aaf3dd2c5

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‘I’ve met people far 7e9bf8de70 too kind for someone 48adc80605 like me.’a3f164f5711b96f5

The Kimber d19ffcd7bc couple, Yona 451d42f2cb and Ralpido, d5c6396beb the Marquis 45298bb7a9 and Marchioness ab5b4d771e of Evellucia. And my f559e01f36 favorite—Nexiard Yul.5bbe9f7a4af2b891

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Because of them, I could take root in this world. The desire to repay the kindness of those who treated me well and the people I cherished became a powerful reason to keep living. Even though a vague fear of losing them all at once occasionally loomed…48eac7e1138c146d

‘Just look forward, 21308d9fc7 Myrda.’38ec2e6717deae2f

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After getting off the 911394db82 tram and walking for 887dad30f7 about twenty minutes, I f7153c46eb arrived at the Evellucia 54e0e61440 townhouse. One of the 774eae8737 servants announced my d26a1d42a9 arrival. The marchioness, who ac046ed2d9 had been waiting a699307818 in the parlor, 1ef4503a41 came out to 42f1295717 greet me.cec3199da72b3f12

“Oh dear, Myrda. My goodness! Your face has 2261d8a486 shrunk in just 89908fe057 two weeks!”172d4966ac336cf9

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She fussed over me, bb70f2efc3 squeezing my wrist and 9b6a09cc8e lightly tapping my cheek 5f06d5b03f with the back of 3a7a9bd414 her hand.e7e0155c4a6d4f99

“Myrda’s here?”8c6cf08f40fb3c8d

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The marquis came edf9ab1685 down the stairs 9f7b8ce31b with his cane.9de7171175d1ca0c

“Are you alright? No injuries?”10068296f17ddde6

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“It must’ve been rough. You’ve lost so 2eab5c47f7 much weight. Myrda, you didn’t 774524ae72 skip meals just 9cc96ce872 because you were 82ced43605 away from home, dcf3503032 did you?”61211200862a4fef

The more passionate their 5c64ff4243 welcome was, the more 68787c7a08 overwhelmed I became. I thought of my 417e2d1097 family. Usually, bad 76fd9a6515 memories would bf43b5a826 flood in, bc3391faae but this 2b0c3c4917 time was b041f253b7 different. Happy memories 319ffccf4b surfaced instead. All four of us ce5904a091 sitting at the table 01661ee48c for dinner. Talking about the day, 613eb912af annoying coworkers, food cravings, 05727d62a7 the TV shows we 5f6479e5cf watched together… Ordinary, unremarkable 54417a0a18 moments that brought me ce542c99b5 comfort.3591716fdd315b4c

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I had believed f79fb92ad3 I’d never have b1fc1d9101 that kind of b78b8291b7 time again.b57e4f4ead51322a

“We need 9bbd0f5188 to make 9a91ed74f4 sure you 4958e42931 eat properly 75b7c1f090 this weekend. I worked so c5dfb6851c hard to fatten 3ebe9229c2 you up over b18a2d712c the last year.”fc45cf82a4cf16d9

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“Let’s eat at home 2ec153fdb5 today, and tomorrow we’ll a7cddda6eb dine out at a c1159ba328 nice restaurant. What do you 02727b4c86 think, dear?”b3995d821ae73273

“What I think e1fe511382 doesn’t matter. We should ba3ccd6b6f ask Myrda.”36d9ba9113b274bf

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“What do you say, 11b84210f6 Myrda?”c1cec56b58638545

The marquis couple looked d020e3003d at me in unison. Their warm gaze a6b39e9a94 was even more 7a3af6fa78 comforting than the e9c7d81a0c sunlight I’d basked 2b63da1622 in on the ffd8fd7262 tram ride over. I blinked rapidly, d2e01fa2e3 trying to keep 3e459c7822 my tears at 62d5ec4873 bay, and answered:95a5bc79eef7acb0

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“That sounds wonderful.”a9c3f3d69f0d213c

 702dbf84736085a8

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