SHN Chapter 1

Being dragged to the garbage dump behind the school, what Lee Daon felt was self-deprecation.

As soon as he came to the new school, this happened again.

Even though it hadn’t fully matured yet, Lee Daon’s life was always damp. As each year passed, the undried moisture accumulated in his chest.

Being an orphan was sad enough, but he was always ostracized among his peers. There was nowhere to lean his damp, crumbling heart.

It was a life that smelled of mildew.

‘Are you okay?’

Something Lee Daon had never experienced before happened. A helping hand offered by someone. A hand he could rely on.

「Hyun Seonwoo」

Judging by the color of the name tag on his uniform, he was a third-year senior.

Before Lee Daon could be surprised by his handsome, movie-star-like face, he easily sent away the group of delinquents who were dragging him.

‘You must have cried a lot.’

Perhaps amused by Lee Daon staring blankly up at him, Hyun Seonwoo chuckled and poked Lee Daon’s eye.

At that moment, the setting sun burst brightly behind him. The pounding of Lee Daon’s heart was irresistible.

It is the only brilliant memory in Lee Daon’s life.

🍥

March at university is busy.

The weather was a bit chilly to be called spring, but the energy of those walking around the campus was vibrant.

The newly admitted freshmen seemed especially excited about the energetic start of the semester. Although Lee Daon was also a freshman, he couldn’t adapt to the atmosphere even after two weeks since the semester began.

He lowered his head, taking a seat in the back of the lecture hall so as not to stand out. As expected, there were too many people. Feeling his social anxiety returning, he quietly opened his bag.

Someone sat down next to him, and he shrank his body further to make space. He felt his breath catch in his throat again, but he secretly glanced at someone on the other side of the lecture hall.

“Hey, Hyun Seonwoo. Are we eating at the school cafeteria later?”

“Sure.”

Hyun Seonwoo. Looking at the back of Hyun Seonwoo, now a university senior, Lee Daon forced himself to muster some courage.

Ever since Hyun Seonwoo saved him in high school, Lee Daon had been in love with him.

He knew it was a hopeless longing that he shouldn’t harbor, but he ardently pursued him. He studied desperately to follow Hyun Seonwoo to the same university and the same department.

Since Hyun Seonwoo, with his excellent mind, naturally went to a top-tier university, it wasn’t easy to follow him.

They had only attended the same high school for a single year. For others, it might have been a small memory that would have faded.

However, for Lee Daon, whose hand touched nothing but gray, he had to desperately hold onto even that small warmth.

Of course, Lee Daon never wanted anything grand with Hyun Seonwoo. Even in high school, they had only barely exchanged greetings from afar, so Hyun Seonwoo didn’t really remember Lee Daon.

‘Oh, hi. You said you were my high school junior?’

At the freshman welcome party before the semester started, Lee Daon, trembling, greeted Hyun Seonwoo, who responded casually.

Even though he had expected it, it felt strangely disappointing.

Perhaps it was because he felt uncomfortable at the freshman welcome party, which he was half-forced to attend. He had gone to that difficult place solely with the hope of seeing Hyun Seonwoo.

And from the conversations he overheard at the drinking party, it seemed that Hyun Seonwoo already had a girlfriend. Looking in the direction the other students were looking, Lee Daon saw a very pretty senior.

Anyway, after that, Lee Daon returned to his humble stance. After taking his medication and thinking carefully, he realized that it was natural for Hyun Seonwoo not to remember him.

Besides, from the moment he first fell in love, he hadn’t harbored any expectations from Hyun Seonwoo. After a few days of suppressing his feelings with a familiar attitude, he realized this anew.

After that, his heart felt strangely at ease. He felt a great deal of satisfaction just stealing glances at Hyun Seonwoo’s broad back from time to time.

“Alright. That’s all for today. There will be assignment instructions next week, so please take note.”

The class passed quickly as he concentrated diligently.

Even though the class was finally over, a strange feeling of regret lingered. This was the last class he had with Hyun Seonwoo today.

He would have at least greeted him if their eyes met, but the lecture hall was so large that he hardly had the chance.

He didn’t have the courage to approach and talk to him first. Hyun Seonwoo was always surrounded by friends. It would definitely look strange for a gloomy junior like him to squeeze in and acknowledge him.

In the end, Lee Daon, hesitating, slowly packed his bag. At least tomorrow, they had two classes together, so he would be able to see him more.

“Hi. We’re both freshmen, right?”

Suddenly, the person next to him spoke. His heart sank, but he tensed his body to hide his surprise.

He had been told so often in school that he acted like he had committed a crime whenever someone called him, so it had become a habit.

“Uh? Uh…, hi……”

Only then did the face of the female student sitting next to him come into view. Searching his memory, he thought he might have seen her briefly at the freshman welcome party.

“We’re taking the next class together too, so let’s eat and go to the classroom together.”

The next class was one that all business administration freshmen took together, so she must be a classmate. She seemed to have remembered him by chance.

“Ah…, you go ahead. …I’m going to stop by the restroom.”

Lee Daon’s voice trailed off towards the end. His mouth became dry at the thought of having a close conversation with an unfamiliar peer.

His head gradually sank towards the ground. He had been told so often that his face was unpleasant to look at that he had developed a habit of lowering his head when nervous.

Even he thought his behavior was pathetic. He could picture the expression on his classmate’s face without even looking.

“Sorry.”

He hurriedly packed his bag and stood up.

He hated how he was running away, but there was nothing he could do. It was better to hide before he made an even bigger fool of himself.

“Let’s definitely go together next time.”

“Uh, uh, …sorry.”

He could hear his classmate saying something behind him, but he was sweating so much that he couldn’t hear her properly. Apologizing again out of habit, Lee Daon hurried out of the lecture hall.

Like someone searching for an oxygen mask, he looked for Hyun Seonwoo’s back, but he couldn’t see him.

🍥

“How have the past two weeks been?”

The psychiatric counseling room had an unusually large clock.

The sound of the second hand ticking pressed down on Lee Daon like thunder today as well.

“…I think I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping.”

“Are you certain you can’t sleep, or do you just feel that way?”

The doctor asked a monotonous question without even looking at Lee Daon’s face.

The ticking of the second hand pierced his ears. His mouth became dry again. Clenching and unclenching his fists, Lee Daon habitually scrutinized himself.

Am I really not sleeping? Or am I just imagining things?

But the exhaustion weighing down his body was real. Especially since he was also working part-time, it was extreme.

Habitually observing the doctor’s stiff expression, Lee Daon described his symptoms again.

“I think I’m really not sleeping. I toss and turn for a long time in bed, and even when I do fall asleep, I’m so tired……”

“I see.”

He would be less tired if he wasn’t working part-time, but he had no choice if he wanted to earn rent and living expenses.

Thanks to his good score on the college entrance exam, he received a scholarship. As if the country took pity on his orphan status, as long as he maintained a certain grade point average each semester, he wouldn’t have to worry about tuition until graduation.

Although the required GPA was quite high, Lee Daon considered it a great stroke of luck.

He had also reconnected with his uncle in his later years of high school. Thanks to this, he had shed one of the labels, ‘orphan bastard with no family,’ but the fact that he was poor hadn’t changed.

Lee Daon’s face darkened as he thought of his uncle. Even though he had found his lost family, Lee Daon still had nowhere to rely on.

“It could be a side effect of the antidepressants I prescribed. I told you last time, didn’t I? It can increase impulsivity or cause sleep disturbances.”

“Yes.”

“Try not to stay in your room too much.”

“Yes……”

He thought he had mentioned working part-time alongside school at the last consultation.

Instead of mentioning it again, Lee Daon just swallowed his words. He was afraid he would appear to be making excuses for the doctor’s words.

The doctor finally glanced at Lee Daon’s complexion before turning his gaze back to the monitor. The way he typed rapidly made him seem like someone pressed for time.

Like the ticking of the second hand behind him.

“I’ll prescribe a sleeping pill along with it. Please take it only as directed.”

“Yes.”

“Sometimes, memory loss occurs after taking sleeping pills. If you experience such symptoms, please tell me at your next visit.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

As soon as the doctor finished speaking, Lee Daon got up. Only then did the ticking of the second hand behind him seem to quiet down.

🍥

In truth, Lee Daon was struggling immensely. But even today, he couldn’t express that to the doctor.

Last time he tried, he was told it could be a side effect of the medication. It was ironic that the medication he was taking to stop his depressing thoughts was potentially causing them.

Although the doctor had told him to speak up if the symptoms persisted, years of counseling experience had gradually led him to give up on expressing his emotions. He was especially hesitant because he was told he had to apply for specialized counseling if he wanted to properly express his feelings. The counseling he looked into was quite expensive.

Still, it was fortunate that he had been accepted to university and received a scholarship. Lee Daon truly believed that.

If he hadn’t been able to afford tuition with his part-time job alone, he would have definitely given up on going to university. Then, Lee Daon, who had difficulty interacting with people, would have disappeared without accomplishing anything.

So, Hyun Seonwoo had saved him once again. If he hadn’t aimed for Hyun Seonwoo, he wouldn’t have studied so hard.

Thanks to that, he would be able to graduate from a good university. Even if he couldn’t get into a large corporation, he would at least be able to find a decent job that would allow him to make a living.

“Ha……”

Lee Daon recited all of this to himself like a machine.

He deliberately wrote these things down in a notebook when he was in the best state after taking his medication. So that he could remind himself of them when the depression welled up.

However, perhaps because his body was tired, he was particularly struggling today. The hope he usually repeated like a mantra quickly dissipated into the air.

This hospital was a new one he had transferred to after moving to a studio apartment near the university. When he said he was having trouble studying because he was sleepy, the doctor changed his medication. But he was worried because it didn’t seem to suit him.

The wind gradually carried a warm scent, preparing for the blossoming of spring, but strangely, his heart became increasingly dry like autumn. It felt as though he could burn all the fallen leaves, like accumulated tears, with a single small spark.

If it all burned down and scattered like ashes, he would feel at ease.

Lee Daon climbed and climbed the steepest slope among the alleys where studio apartments near the school were clustered.

Even though the steep uphill road made his body warm, his expression hardened like wax.

“Phew……”

Finally arriving at the entrance of his studio apartment building, Lee Daon let out a sigh. He was about to catch his breath and go inside when something strange caught his eye.

“Huh?”

A white envelope was sticking out of his mailbox. He checked again, and it was indeed the mailbox for his apartment number.

Suddenly, he thought of his uncle and felt uneasy.

Lee Daon quickly approached and pulled it out, his puzzled expression undeniable. It was a document envelope, but it was strangely heavy.

He frowned and examined the front and back, but there was no sender’s name. Only the words “Lee Daon” were printed.

“…….”

After contemplating, he decided to take it upstairs with him. Whatever it was, it was addressed to him.

He wondered if his uncle had left it there himself. It was still one of his unsettling assumptions. He had run away, so his uncle shouldn’t know his address.

However, Lee Daon had no friends or family. So, the only person who might be able to find where he lived was his uncle, which is why his thoughts jumped to that conclusion.

He quickly opened the door and went inside, sitting down at the entrance. He hurriedly grabbed the envelope and opened it, and something inside dropped onto his lap.

It was an old mobile phone.

“…What is this?”

He searched further inside the envelope, but nothing else came out. There should at least be a letter, but it was strange.

Unease grew, but he turned on the phone anyway. He thought there might be a memo from his uncle inside.

The phone turned on after a moment, as if it still had battery life.

Along with a very loud sound.

Ta-da-! Welcome! The hypnosis application that will grant your wi★sh★es with you! ✿(￣▽￣)✿

Hypnosis is only effective between the two names entered.

“…….”

He stared blankly at the screen for a moment before frowning.

His legs ached from running all the way up to his 4th-floor apartment in his nervousness, and now this prank?

His body, tense from worrying that his uncle would use him for his debts again, relaxed in disappointment.

The more he thought about it, the more certain he became that his uncle hadn’t sent this. If his uncle had found this kind of spare phone, he would have sold it rather than playing a prank on him.

“Who sent this?”

He couldn’t think of anyone.

Just as he was starting to wonder if it was the landlord, Lee Daon slumped to the floor and looked at the screen. The cold floor touched his cheek without any warmth.

“This is strange.”

Come to think of it, it wasn’t normal for an application to launch as soon as the phone was turned on.

With a bored expression, he flipped through the screens, and as expected, crude, prank-like screens came into view.

How to use is simple! Just enter the command you wish for here! (￣▽￣)

“…….”

From the outdated emoticons to the UI, nothing was properly done, which made him laugh.

As the screen indicated, operating the application was simple. Just enter a command, and it supposedly worked as hypnosis.

*Caution. The entered content is difficult to reverse, so think carefully before writing.

The fact that it had a warning message despite its nature was absurd. Lee Daon chuckled and sat up. Lying on the cold floor for too long would make him sick.

He was old enough to know that there was no benefit in being sick alone. He needed to take a warm shower first.

Just as he was about to toss the hypnosis app on the floor, Lee Daon glanced at the screen again.

“…….”

Hypnosis. It wasn’t a pleasant word, but the promise of granting wishes was certainly tempting.

His fingers, which had been tapping the floor, quickly picked up the hypnosis app. After entering his name and Hyun Seonwoo’s name in the user fields, he typed in a string of characters as they came to mind.

*Tomorrow, Hyun Seonwoo will accidentally grab Lee Daon’s hand as he falls.

Even his wish was this timid, just like him. Despite that, Lee Daon chuckled again. He thought it would be nice to at least have this kind of interaction with someone he barely even greeted.

“Let’s shower.”

Of course, he didn’t expect it to come true. After throwing the old phone with only the hypnosis app inside onto the floor, he went to take a shower.

After taking his sleeping pill, any thoughts about the hypnosis app vanished from Lee Daon’s mind.

🍥

The next day.

He had a class at 8 AM. Having overslept slightly because of the sleeping pill, Lee Daon hurried out of his studio apartment.

Waking up early in the morning was tiring, but since his 8 AM class was with Hyun Seonwoo, it was bearable.

The sleeping pill seemed to be working. He still tossed and turned for a long time before falling asleep, but once he did, he definitely felt like he slept more soundly than before. Thanks to that, he was in relatively good condition compared to yesterday.

Hurrying up to the building where his first class was held, Lee Daon saw Hyun Seonwoo.

His first thought was that he was lucky today. However, as Hyun Seonwoo was still surrounded by many friends, greeting him would be difficult.

Lee Daon slowed his pace slightly and approached Hyun Seonwoo. They happened to be going up the stairs, so Hyun Seonwoo’s pace was also a bit slower.

If their eyes met, he should at least bow his head in greeting.

As he held onto his fluttering heart, Hyun Seonwoo suddenly turned around.

At that moment, Lee Daon felt his legs tangle and he stumbled forward.

“……!”

The edge of the stairs quickly approached. The metal anti-slip plates attached to the edge came sharply into view.

Strangely, his body felt unresponsive. He thought that if this continued, he would inevitably injure his head.

“Oh dear.”

“Gasp.”

At that precarious moment, a strong arm supported Lee Daon. The scent of cologne that wafted over him made his chest ache for some reason.

“Be careful. Hmm, my high school junior?”