SB Ch 22
by toujoursChae Beomjoon went to meet the Legal Team Leader with the draft he had written in just 30 minutes. The team leader was deeply shocked by the contract Beomjoon showed him but soon took on a cold, professional demeanor to revise it seriously.
However, since the team leader was a lawyer specializing in corporate disputes, his accuracy was somewhat lacking. Therefore, Chae Beomjoon spent the night working on the clauses with the team leader, and by early Saturday morning, he summoned all the members of DG O&M’s Legal Department. The employees couldn’t say anything against the whims of the closest aide to the chairman, who handled most of his tasks. Everyone kept quiet because Beomjoon looked like a madman.
“Thank you for your hard work, everyone.”
“You’ve worked hard too, Chief. If you need any explanations or have any questions regarding the contract, feel free to contact us anytime.”
“Yes, Team Leader. Thank you for your help.”
By the time the sun was about to rise, the drafting of the contract was finally completed. Chae Beomjoon opened Shin Kyoyeon’s account to pay them for their overtime and then returned home, clutching the documents to his chest.
Until yesterday, his mood had been up and down, but now, having finished all preparations, he felt like he could fly. Neutering was just around the corner, but that didn’t matter.
After meeting at the church, he and Seo Haeyoon had done many things together. They watched movies, went on trips, rode bikes. These were trivial activities, but they were good just because they were with Seo Haeyoon.
Every time Haeyoon called his name with a smile, his heart trembled, and every time they locked eyes and kissed, it felt like his mind was melting. But even while experiencing such blissful moments, there were times when he felt it might all be meaningless to Haeyoon.
Now, however, those moments would become meaningful for him too. Once the surgery was over, knowing that Seo Haeyoon would accept his feelings, that he would truly become his lover, his heart was simply excited.
This would be different from his previous relationships. No matter what kind of men Haeyoon had met before, through Chae Beomjoon, he would learn what true loyalty means.
But what if Seo Haeyoon later regrets this proof? To prepare for such a scenario, Chae Beomjoon thought he should record the size of his genitals in detail before the surgery. For when he might need to attach a prosthetic later, he should make sure it’s as close to the original size as possible for balance.
“Haah…”
Before offering his utterly chaste first love to Seo Haeyoon, Chae Beomjoon went into the bathroom for purification. He stood in front of the mirror. It was time to part with this dirty body.
The long rod attached to his well-sculpted body had once been the master of his life, but now, it was nothing more than an obstacle to Chae Beomjoon, who wanted to settle down with one person.
Since he had already vowed to spend the rest of his life with Seo Haeyoon, there was no regret. But still, he should bid farewell, so just one last time… With a reverent heart, Chae Beomjoon reached down.
🔮🌙
At 9 AM on Saturday morning, Seo Haeyoon, who had a performance for VIPs, was getting some rest with an eye mask on for condition management. He should have woken up by now, but he had gone to bed late because of Chae Beomjoon the previous night, so his wake-up time was delayed.
However, despite his intention to wake up an hour later, Haeyoon had to open his eyes just after 9 AM due to the strange sound of the doorbell echoing through his quiet home.
“What’s this…”
He always ordered deliveries to be left at the door, so someone ringing the bell was unfamiliar. Who could it be? Removing his eye mask, Haeyoon blinked in confusion, turning his head towards the entrance, then slowly got up.
Checking the wall pad in the living room, he saw the face of the person at the door. Recognizing Chae Beomjoon with a bright smile, Seo Haeyoon paused and tilted his head.
When he last saw him the night before, Beomjoon had looked troubled. After being told they couldn’t go back to how things were, that he liked him but it wasn’t love, Beomjoon had worn an expression that pained even the observer.
But today, his handsome face was shining. He seemed in a good mood, without a hint of worry. It looked like he had decided to let go of his feelings. Without that, a person wouldn’t look so light.
“Really…”
Could someone really let go so neatly in less than 24 hours? It was beyond ridiculous; it was frankly absurd.
If he could give up so easily, why admit he liked me in the first place? If he had the heart to discard it so quickly, he should have kept it hidden to avoid making things messy…
Feeling a strange sense of disappointment and irritation, Haeyoon stretched his lips thin and walked slowly to the entrance. Barefoot, without even putting on slippers, he opened the door.
“In the morning…”
He couldn’t even finish asking why he was here. A hand reached out like a tentacle, grabbing his waist over his thin pajamas. What’s this? Before he could be surprised, Chae Beomjoon brought his face close and naturally kissed him.
Soft lips overlapped, and along with the cozy scent that always came from him, he felt a hand caressing his back. Unintentionally opening his mouth, Seo Haeyoon, with wide eyes, made an absurd assumption.
“Did you sleep well? I missed you.”
After a brief kiss, Chae Beomjoon pressed his forehead against Haeyoon’s, his eyes overflowing with affection. What’s going on…? Confused by the gentle voice, Seo Haeyoon rolled his eyes.
“I, didn’t sleep well…”
“Why, was the bed uncomfortable? Was there noise from upstairs? Did I wake you up? You still look sleepy.”
When he answered honestly, Chae Beomjoon touched Haeyoon’s face with a worried look. His warm fingers gently brushed his cheek and rubbed the corners of his sleepy eyes.
Each touch was different from before. Seeing Chae Beomjoon acting much more affectionate than before he knew his feelings, Seo Haeyoon realized something was very wrong.
“Mister, you shouldn’t do this anymore.”
But just in case, he said it. In response, Chae Beomjoon smiled as if there was no problem at all. With his handsome face shining with a smile, he gently shook the document envelope he had been holding and answered:
“I’ve brought the documents too. Consider it an advance, Haeyoon.”
What documents?
He was extremely confused. What Seo Haeyoon wanted was for Chae Beomjoon to neatly put away his feelings and return to a relationship where they just had sex. Such a thing didn’t require any documents.
No way, that can’t be…
Could a man who loves sex that much decide to become a eunuch for me? It couldn’t be. Thinking there must be some misunderstanding in communication, Haeyoon stopped making rash guesses and turned around.
“Come in for now.”
“Yes, Beomjoon will come in.”
The man’s voice, drawing out the words, sounded very excited. Although Haeyoon felt a slight unease, thinking he might be on drugs, he was soon reassured by the certainty that Beomjoon was someone who would choose sex over drugs.
Seating Chae Beomjoon, who seemed overly happy, at the table, Seo Haeyoon, with a groggy look, poured himself a glass of water and drank it. As the cold water went down his esophagus, his mind cleared up quite a bit. However, even with a clearer mind, he couldn’t understand Chae Beomjoon’s state, so Haeyoon opened his mouth with a doubtful expression.
“What kind of documents did you bring?”
“Ah, it’s an ownership establishment contract. I gathered the legal team multiple times to check it, so there won’t be any clauses unfavorable to Haeyoon.”
Ownership… what? Did I agree to some real estate contract with this Mister? Not understanding, Seo Haeyoon took the envelope from Chae Beomjoon. Carefully opening the seal, he found two fairly thick sets of documents.
Contract for Establishing Mutual Ownership.
The title alone was startling, and the contents were something Seo Haeyoon had never imagined.
Contract for Establishing Mutual Ownership
In setting this ownership, ‘Seo Haeyoon’ shall be referred to as ‘Party A’ and ‘Chae Beomjoon’ as ‘Party B,’ and the following contract is agreed upon:
Article 1. Obligations of the Parties
- Party A (Seo Haeyoon) promises to love Party B (Chae Beomjoon) for life, even if he becomes sexually incapacitated.
- Party A takes responsibility for the rest of Party B’s life who has given up reproductive rights at Party A’s request.
- Should Party A refuse to fulfill Article 1, Clause 1 and Article 1, Clause 2, Party B will donate all assets listed in the appendix to society and become a monk. The temple for ordination is Haeinsa (122 Haeinsa-gil, Gayamyeon, Hapcheon-gun, Gyeongsangnam-do).
- If Party A does not properly fulfill Article 1, Clauses 1 and 2, Party A also fully agrees to give up reproductive rights like Party B.
:
:
Article 3. Contract Period
- This contract comes into effect from the moment Party B’s reproductive organs are removed, and it remains in effect until the death of both Party A and Party B.
From start to finish, the clauses were beyond belief.
“…What is this?”
Seo Haeyoon asked with an incredulous face after skimming through the contract. He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or serious. But Chae Beomjoon, seemingly oblivious to any issues, smiled proudly.
“What do you mean? It’s a contract.”
“No…”
That’s not what he meant…
Haeyoon’s large eyes kept moving. He looked over the contract again, full of skepticism, then looked up at Chae Beomjoon. When their eyes met, Beomjoon smiled and asked:
“Is there any clause you want to amend? Feel free to speak.”
“Ha…”
He was so baffled that words failed him. Instead of saying more, Haeyoon chose to keep quiet.
Cutting off his penis vs. having sex.
Even for someone without a penis, choosing sex was the obvious choice. In a situation where one would naturally choose the latter, if someone chose the former, there must be some ulterior motive.
What is it? What’s the real intention behind this…
Tap, tap, Haeyoon’s firm fingertips tapped on the table. He looked down at the questionable piece of paper with an unreadable expression, then looked back at Chae Beomjoon, still unable to understand the intent. But there was something strange about the eyes of the man looking down at him. They seemed out of focus, definitely not the eyes of a normal person. Did he sleep at all?
“How long did it take to write this?”
“It took about 12 hours. Is that important?”
“Did you not sleep?”
“It’s not like this is a contract for a neighborhood store; I couldn’t just bring something without having it checked by a lawyer. Oh, I’m not talking about that part. Obviously.”
Haeyoon frowned. Seeing him add unnecessary comments, it was clear his mind was not steady. Quite so…
His sullen eyes moved slowly. While taking in Chae Beomjoon’s smiling face, Haeyoon thought deeply.
He didn’t think Chae Beomjoon wasn’t sincere. The affection Beomjoon showed him was certainly different from before, and it felt deeper than what Haeyoon had experienced with previous lovers.
But if asked if Chae Beomjoon was sincere enough to give up his genitals for him, the answer would be no. That was definitely not the case.
Haeyoon hadn’t forgotten the voice of Chae Beomjoon, who said he loved sex. Chae Beomjoon was a man who would endure personal inconveniences for satisfying sex. Thus, that piece of flesh was important to him. Without it, sex wouldn’t even be possible.
Therefore, for him to give up sex and his genitals for someone he’d only known for two months was unthinkable. Wasn’t his life’s goal not to be a celibate?
So this was nonsense.
Then what was this contract for?
After pondering for a long time, Haeyoon came to a difficult conclusion. Chae Beomjoon was trying to deceive him with this contract.
If Chae Beomjoon was genuinely planning to do it, he could have just brought his penis after cutting it off. By asking Haeyoon to attend the surgery, there was an ulterior motive. It was a strategy to make the soft-hearted Haeyoon stop the surgery himself, achieving two goals at once.
The moment he realized this, Haeyoon’s heart cooled down and then suddenly flared up with anger. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.
He had declared no interest in romance, laughed saying it would never happen, then admitted he liked him, but now, when asked to prove it, he was just pretending to show sincerity without any real intention.
How much had he racked his brains to come up with this plan overnight? It was pathetic, but the effort was commendable. He had to acknowledge that Chae Beomjoon was indeed devoted to him, to the extent of bringing a notarized contract like this.
“Mister, are you really crazy about me?”
“Did you just realize that? I’ve been crazy about you for a while now. Now that you know, get up, let’s go.”
In response to Haeyoon’s audacious question, Chae Beomjoon, who would usually scoff in disbelief, nodded with a smile today and even urged him.
“Where to?”
“Where else? To the hospital. I’ve made an appointment, so we should hurry. To cut it off.”
Saying this, Chae Beomjoon even made a scissor motion in front of his pants, indicating that he had truly made up his mind.
Did he think I would believe him just because he said he was going to the hospital? It was laughable.
To Haeyoon, who couldn’t even imagine Chae Beomjoon genuinely making such a decision, all of this seemed like an absurd play.
As time passed, a fire of anger grew within him. Think you can fool me? Seo Haeyoon was not in the mood to forgive the man trying to deceive him.
“Are you sure you won’t regret this?”
Haeyoon asked, meeting his eyes to confirm, and Chae Beomjoon nodded. So, instead of going to the theater for work, Seo Haeyoon drove with him to the hospital. It seemed like they needed to settle this today.
🔮🌙
“Uh, Chief… Perhaps you should think about this again…”
“No, Doctor. I’ve made up my mind. This isn’t helping me at all. Please proceed with the surgery right away.”
“Once it’s cut off, you’ll lose sexual function, and restoration surgery won’t be possible.”
“Yes, there won’t be any need for restoration surgery, so please go ahead with the anesthesia. I don’t need this anymore, Doctor.”
Chae Beomjoon answered with a smile, lightly grabbing and then letting go of Haeyoon’s fingertips beside him. Haeyoon gave him a short smile and a nod with a determined look.
“Yes, Doctor. I have to get to work, so please hurry.”
“I’ve already fasted, so general anesthesia is possible right away.”
“Chief, please, reconsider just one more time…”
The plastic surgeon specializing in gender confirmation surgeries looked like he couldn’t proceed, dragging out the time. Chae Beomjoon urged for the surgery from beside him, and Seo Haeyoon, gritting his teeth, also pressured the doctor.
Anyway, this doctor must have been paid by Chae Beomjoon to act. They would have scripted this scenario overnight, including a part where Haeyoon, unable to bear Chae Beomjoon becoming a eunuch, dramatically stops the surgery.
So, Seo Haeyoon was determined to see this through to the end.
“Chief, then I’ll do the surgery. But, could you just think about it for one more day? It’s a big responsibility for me ethically, as this involves mutilating a healthy body for no particular reason…”
The doctor, who had been bribed, was now pleading for over half an hour. From what he said, Chae Beomjoon seemed to be a VIP at the hospital, but instead of performing the requested surgery, the doctor was stalling, clearly instructed by Chae Beomjoon to drag out time as much as possible.
Chae Beomjoon knew Haeyoon had to get to the theater by a certain time. The plan was to maintain this tense atmosphere until that time and then cancel the surgery.
Think you can make it go as planned? Sneering internally with anger, Haeyoon firmly expressed his will.
“Doctor, I’m sorry, but as the guardian, I really don’t have time. If you can’t do it, I’ll go to another hospital.”
“Then how about… I do it myself? Doctor, if I cut it myself, can you stitch it up? That wouldn’t be against ethics, and it would save my life, so there’s no reason to hesitate, right?”
Adding to Haeyoon’s urging, Chae Beomjoon looked around and spotted a fire axe hung on the wall, suggesting this.
Do it himself? Following his gaze, the doctor shook his head in panic, turning pale.
“Chief, absolutely not! You could cause a major accident if you can’t stop the bleeding!”
“Is that so? Then, Doctor, please do it before I do it myself. I’m begging you this much.”
Why does he keep calling him “Chief”? Perhaps because of his title as Chief Secretary? Feeling slightly curious, Seo Haeyoon nodded alongside Chae Beomjoon.
“Good idea, Mister. No, since there’s no time, I’ll do it now. Then you’ll save me, right?”
“Please, just listen to my explanation…”
Haeyoon turned with a fierce look, as the doctor kept talking despite all this. Running to the fire cabinet, he flung open the door to pull out the axe, triggering the siren with a loud “yee-ong.”
“No, no, no!!”
Red flashing lights flooded the corridor. The doctor rushed over, slamming the cabinet door shut.
Will you listen now? Glancing up at the speaker that quickly fell silent, Haeyoon smiled brightly.
“Should I take it out, or will you do it?”
The doctor, looking despairingly at the threat of a VIP turning himself into a eunuch right in front of him if no decision was made quickly, slumped his shoulders.
Only then did the atmosphere change. If bringing the contract was Act 1 and arriving at the hospital was Act 2, now they were about to start Act 3 with the surgery.
“In that case, please sign the consent form…”
The doctor, finally surrendering, handed over the guardian’s surgery consent form with a grim face. As Haeyoon signed with a look full of suspicion, Chae Beomjoon visibly cheered and pulled out the documents he had brought from home.
“Now, Haeyoon, just sign here.”
It was the contract for mutual ownership he had mentioned earlier. He had been insisting on getting it stamped, making Haeyoon suspicious it might be some kind of hidden agreement, so he had postponed signing it, but with the climax approaching, he had to play along. As much as he wanted to burn it… Haeyoon, hiding his boiling anger, picked up the pen and signed beside his name.
“Haeyoon…”
Beomjoon, who had changed into hospital attire, smiled with an overwhelmed expression as he saw the signed document. His face, full of smiles, was handsome. Normally, Haeyoon would have kissed him, saying he was pretty, but knowing what kind of trickery he was up to in front of him, he didn’t feel like it. Seo Haeyoon stretched his lips into a sullen line.
“Mister should sign too.”
“Yes, all my account passwords are 1004, so remember that.”
“Got it.”
After saying something nonsensical, Chae Beomjoon also signed the contract. After capping the pen and putting it down, he caressed Haeyoon’s signature with a joyful face, then whispered to Haeyoon as the doctor came in for sedation:
“When I wake up, give me a kiss first…”
Unaware that Seo Haeyoon was still suspicious even at this moment, Beomjoon lay down on the bed after saying this.
It was a sweet request, but knowing he was trying to deceive him, Haeyoon only felt more irritated. Ha, I should have just used the axe myself earlier. With full regret, Haeyoon followed the bed where Beomjoon lay.
“Anesthesia is complete, we’ll move to the operating room.”
The general anesthesia was done swiftly. With Chae Beomjoon’s eyes closed tightly, the tense-looking doctor and nurse, the mobile bed carrying Chae Beomjoon began to move slowly at their touch.
“Please step aside.”
Whether it was because he was a VIP or because the surgery wasn’t really going to proceed, Haeyoon was allowed into the operating room after washing his hands and putting on an observer’s gown.
Beep, beep, the regular beeps from the machines indicated Chae Beomjoon’s condition. Listening to that sound, Haeyoon didn’t let his guard down.
The surgery would be stopped for some reason, even without his intervention. They would probably act as if it was an emergency, but Haeyoon, determined not to be fooled, stood with his arms crossed, alert.
The dimly lit operating room, the smell of disinfectant in the air, and the light brightly illuminating only Chae Beomjoon’s private part. In front of it stood the plastic surgeon and urologist, both with tense expressions.
“Really… shall we start the surgery?”
Chae Beomjoon lay on the hard operating table like a corpse. His arms were strapped down to prevent any accidents, and his one-piece hospital gown was pulled to one side. His crotch was covered with a green cloth, which bulged upwards, indicating something beneath.
“…If the guardian requests it now…”
If they just lift that cloth, the process of Chae Beomjoon purging his past would begin. Of course, it would only appear that way. These doctors weren’t planning to cut off Chae Beomjoon’s penis no matter what.
Haeyoon scoffed and gestured with his chin.
“Go ahead.”
“Yes…”
With his firm word, the doctor lowered his head in resignation. But soon, recalling his duty to cut off even a healthy penis at a VIP’s command, he picked up the scalpel.
If they were going to do it, they should do it properly. The plastic surgeon, who had performed hundreds of gender confirmation surgeries, opened his mouth with the determination to make Chae Beomjoon’s groin perfectly smooth.
“We will start the genital removal surgery.”
Finally, it began.
While Seo Haeyoon was washing his hands and changing, a cloth with a circular hole had been placed over Chae Beomjoon’s private area.
When the green cloth was lifted, his genitals, lying limp, came into view. Smooth without a single hair, it was sleeping in a very pretty shape, unaware of the danger of being removed…
“I’ll disinfect.”
Noticing the observer, the plastic surgeon in charge of the surgery awkwardly narrated.
A red cotton swab soaked in iodine began to roll over Chae Beomjoon’s groin. After disinfecting a wide area including between his legs, his testicles, and just before his lower abdomen, the swab was discarded, and a new one swept over his genitals.
Seo Haeyoon watched this scene as if he were witnessing beef being packaged at a butcher shop. He was confident in his suspicion that someone would knock on the operating room door, ensuring the surgery wouldn’t really happen.
However, even after the disinfection was complete and the doctor picked up the scalpel, no one came to the operating room. Feeling an inexplicable unease, Seo Haeyoon narrowed his eyes and looked around.
Then, would someone inside receive instructions to interfere? It made sense. It would be more dramatic to stop the surgery at the critical moment from inside rather than outside, and it would be easier to deceive Haeyoon.
Perhaps the urologist standing with his arms crossed? Or the experienced-looking nurse standing next to the plastic surgeon? None escaped Seo Haeyoon’s suspicion.
As he was trying to determine who was Chae Beomjoon’s accomplice by meeting their eyes one by one…
“We will start the surgery.”
Finally, with the calm words of the plastic surgeon accepting his fate, he picked up the scalpel. The sight unfolded very slowly.
Beep, beep, signaling Chae Beomjoon’s stable vital signs, the scalpel with its bright blue blade touched his genitals.
“…”
Now they would stop, right?
He thought that.
But even as the tip of the scalpel dug into the flesh and a drop of blood seeped out, no one stopped the surgery.
Oh, would you like to see a little blood? Indeed, after anesthesia and exposure, not seeing a drop of blood would feel too anticlimactic.
“I will cut through the skin to remove the corpora cavernosa and suture it to prevent bleeding.”
Yet, despite actually incising his genitals, the doctor didn’t stop; instead, he professionally explained the surgical process. Soon, the sound of the scalpel moving continuously came eerily. Haeyoon felt a cold sweat running down his spine as he turned his gaze in that direction.
1mm. 2mm. The smooth, hairless skin was being torn apart. Wasn’t this just supposed to be for show? How far was he really committed? Haeyoon was bewildered.
“Isn’t anyone… going to stop this?”
A stiff word, beyond surprise, escaped from Haeyoon. At his question breaking the icy air, the plastic surgeon finally stopped his movements. Looking up in confusion, he met Haeyoon’s eyes.
“You can stop now. This is enough.”
“I don’t understand what you mean. Should we halt the surgery?”
“…Did he tell you to wait for my confirmation?”
“Pardon?”
“Did he tell you to keep going until I say to stop?”
At Haeyoon’s suspicious questioning, the doctor frowned, not understanding, then soon relaxed and smiled.
“If you’re not going to stop it, we’ll continue. Please refrain from speaking unless absolutely necessary to avoid infection from droplets.”
“…”
Haeyoon froze at that firm statement.
His heart was pounding. He had thought it was all part of a script, but the doctor in front of him seemed like a psychopath engrossed in cutting off a perfectly good penis, and the nurses beside him looked like employees eager to go home because of a crazy VIP demanding to have a healthy body part cut off.
If this wasn’t all planned, if the contract and the surgery were all genuine from Chae Beomjoon’s heart, then it was a big deal in a different way. He had fallen for a madman. Haeyoon would have to spend his life with this penis-less madman.
Thus, the more the surgery progressed, the more Haeyoon found himself in a dilemma. Regardless of sincerity, he realized that no outcome would benefit him.
Even if Chae Beomjoon’s surgery continued out of genuine intent, Haeyoon would stop it before crossing an irreversible point. That would mean Chae Beomjoon’s “proof” would be cut short, either by choice or by force, ultimately making Haeyoon unable to trust him. They would start a relationship without any change from the situation after the confession.
Conversely, if Chae Beomjoon successfully completed his “proof,” there was still a problem. Haeyoon had no intention of spending his life with a man without a penis. That was obvious. Dating a eunuch was not an option. Haeyoon had only given what he thought was the worst possible choice.
He had misspoken in the beginning. Haeyoon regretted it deeply, frowning.
“…We will resume the genital removal surgery.”
After observing Seo Haeyoon’s silence for a moment, the doctor, seeing no intention to stop the surgery, returned to his duty. As he brought the scalpel back to the previously incised area to resume the surgery, the cut that had been paused began again.
The flesh was gradually parting. Once the scalpel made a full circle, they would cut the corpora cavernosa while clamping the blood vessels to prevent bleeding. He would stitch it up beautifully. It was at this moment the doctor was showing his professional pride.
“…Stop.”
“Pardon?”
Muttering, Haeyoon couldn’t bear to watch the scene and had lowered his head.
…I lost. It was Seo Haeyoon’s declaration of defeat.
The choice he had lightly made thinking it was just about Chae Beomjoon’s feelings had come back as karma.
Dating an untrustworthy rag vs. living a lifetime with a trustworthy eunuch.
Faced with such a horrifying choice, Haeyoon naturally had to choose the former. Sex was an indispensable element for him.
Chae Beomjoon must have known he would choose the former and led the situation to this point. He had recognized this from the moment the surgery was mentioned… but reality was different from imagination. Seeing the scalpel actually touching the genitals, Haeyoon’s determination to see it through crumbled too easily.
He was indeed a promiscuous man, but he was someone who liked Haeyoon.
It meant he was just like all the previous lovers who Haeyoon had met with unease after threats of giving up music or extreme declarations of returning to their hometown.
And Haeyoon was not cruel enough to break someone’s integrity just to fill a meaningless position as his lover.
Moreover, it would take immense courage for a man in his late 30s with social status to spread his legs in front of several people wearing a green surgical gown with a hole in it. That was not an easy thing to do.
Regardless of sincerity, Chae Beomjoon’s liking and obsession with him was palpably felt. Yes, that was enough. Haeyoon let out a heavy sigh, touching his forehead.
“Stop it.”
The silence in the operating room was completely broken. The plastic surgeon lifted his head quickly, looking at Seo Haeyoon with eyes full of regret.
A quick-witted nurse covered the surgical site, which had slight bleeding, with gauze to stop the blood. As Haeyoon looked down at that pitiful sight, the doctor asked for confirmation:
“Guardian, are you telling us to stop the surgery?”
“…Would you really go through with the amputation if I said nothing?”
“Pardon? Of course. Because the VIP, no, the Chief, wants it, I have to do as requested.”
Listening to the doctor’s firm voice, Seo Haeyoon quietly looked down at the one causing him such confusion.
The face behind the screen looked peaceful in sleep. Chae Beomjoon was asleep with an expression as if everything would be resolved perfectly when he woke up. Of course, this was about his face; his body, lying with his private parts exposed, looked utterly pitiful and ridiculous.
What great thing was he trying to achieve by doing this? But at that thought, the face he saw in the morning suddenly came to mind.
The Chae Beomjoon who rushed to kiss him with a happy face the moment he opened the door, mentioning an advance when Haeyoon said this shouldn’t happen, overlapped with the sleeping figure.
Was that what Chae Beomjoon was trying to achieve?
Going this far to get something so meaningless…
“Ha.”
Seo Haeyoon, overwhelmed by confusion, roughly ran his hand over his face. His long sigh filled the operating room, and then, with his shoulders slumped in exhaustion, Haeyoon spoke to the doctor.
“Suture the cut part and stop the procedure, please.”
“Ah, understood…”
The doctor, who had been fully prepared to complete the surgery, nodded with a slightly disappointed look. Seeing the nurse hand the doctor a suture needle for assistance, Haeyoon turned away. He left the operating room with a face full of confusion, took off his gown, washed his hands, and then slumped down in the waiting room.
He had been tense even though he thought it was all an act, leaving him completely drained. Amidst this, the sight of Chae Beomjoon smiling peacefully on the operating table made Haeyoon let out an involuntary chuckle. He laughed, shaking his shoulders, and pressed down on his flushed cheeks with the back of his hand.
He felt like he had fallen for a madman, but strangely, that fact didn’t bother him. Thinking about the man lying there with only his genitals exposed, Haeyoon buried his face in his hands.
He hadn’t thought Chae Beomjoon would give his all to him, but nonetheless, Haeyoon decided to give the spot he had reserved for a well-mannered younger man to this rag-like Chae Beomjoon.
He couldn’t resist when someone went to such lengths.
“Guardian, we’ll take him to the room.”
While Haeyoon was sorting out his troubled thoughts, the door to the operating room opened, and the doctor stepped out first, calling for Haeyoon.
“The patient… no, the Chief will wake up soon.”
The doctor coughed, correcting himself from calling him ‘patient’ to ‘Chief.’ Getting up, Haeyoon left the waiting room to see Chae Beomjoon on a bed with an IV, asleep.
The screen was gone, and a thin blanket covered where his private parts had been exposed. Glancing at that area, Seo Haeyoon asked as they headed towards the VIP elevator:
“Did you stitch it up nicely?”
“Yes, it won’t be noticeable unless you look closely.”
An image of Chae Beomjoon secretly meeting the doctor at dawn to ensure no scars were left came to mind. Ha, he would do that. With all tension gone, Haeyoon grimaced and scoffed.
“Why not make it into a heart shape?”
“…Shall I do it again?”
The doctor hesitated and asked back. Would they do anything a VIP asks? Haeyoon had thought of him as some kind of loan shark’s assistant due to his title, but it seemed he had more influence than expected.
Having never been particularly interested in his sex partner’s job, Haeyoon waved it off and asked:
“Why do you call him Chief?”
“Ah, he’s the Chief Secretary to our foundation’s chairman.”
“Really? Even so, you do everything he asks just because he’s a secretary?”
“Well, because he’s not just any secretary…”
The doctor, answering his query, suddenly closed his lips. Glancing at Seo Haeyoon, he bowed politely and apologized.
“I think this isn’t something I should discuss. I’m sorry.”
It seemed like it could be trouble, even though it wasn’t particularly important information. Haeyoon nodded, saying it was okay, and they got off the elevator to move to the VIP room.
“He’ll wake up soon since we stopped the medication midway.”
Haeyoon nodded. After adjusting the rate of the glucose IV that was supposed to run until the end and checking on Chae Beomjoon one more time, the nurse left, closing the door behind her.
“…”
A slight noise came from the humidifier placed near the wall. In that otherwise silent room, Seo Haeyoon looked down at Chae Beomjoon with a heavy heart.
Chae Beomjoon wouldn’t love him in a dedicated or consistent way. Someone who has tasted various foods can’t be satisfied with just one. Haeyoon didn’t think he was diverse enough to keep Chae Beomjoon interested for long. That’s why his nine previous partners had easily betrayed his heart and left. Chae Beomjoon was surely headed for a similar end.
Of course, he recognized there might be issues with how he treated his lovers, but he had never thought to change. Even if it wasn’t for the other person, he didn’t feel the need to put in the effort since he wasn’t meeting them out of love. He even thought that this mindset might be the problem…
“I don’t know…”
Haeyoon sighed, resting his chin on the bed. Since he had already made his decision, his complex feelings quickly sorted themselves out. The fact that this kind man would be his lover for a while wasn’t bad. However, the thought that their relationship might end sooner than when they were just sex partners made him feel a bit sad.
From now on, he had to consider that this stable life could break at any time. The prospect of the days of insecurity and the trouble of finding another man already made him tired. Haeyoon frowned and buried his face in the bed where Chae Beomjoon lay.
Chae Beomjoon woke up less than 10 minutes later. The hand touching his cheek trembled.
“Mister.”
Haeyoon quickly sat up and brought his hand to his face. As he caressed the pale, bloodless face, Chae Beomjoon regained his senses.
“…Haeyoon.”
Even with eyes that hadn’t fully focused due to dizziness, he looked straight at Haeyoon. The moment their eyes met, with those mysterious dark pupils, Seo Haeyoon leaned down without hesitation. He kissed the slightly parted dry lips, and Chae Beomjoon laughed softly, “Ha ha.”
That laugh irked Haeyoon for some reason, and he asked in a grumpy voice, testing him:
“Do you like being a eunuch?”
“I like it… because I can get a kiss from you.”
…Is it real? Or is he acting?
Given his many interests, there was a chance he had taken acting lessons.
Seo Haeyoon, unable to shake off the suspicion filling his heart, stretched his lips into a thin line and asked while noting that Chae Beomjoon hadn’t fully regained his senses. He knew that just like people speak the truth when drunk, one might reveal their true feelings when not fully awake from anesthesia.
“Doesn’t it hurt? Was there a lot of blood?”
“Was there? I’m sorry if I surprised you… I… feel better than I thought… I feel like something’s still there, maybe phantom pain…”
“It’s because of the bandage.”
“Oh…”
Feeling his body relax, Chae Beomjoon closed his eyes, dragging out his words. But he didn’t fall asleep; he soon opened his eyes again, searching for Seo Haeyoon with a tender look. Confirming Haeyoon was there, he scanned him with clearer eyes than before.
“Kiss me again.”
Though it was time for Haeyoon to go to work and he had no leisure, Seo Haeyoon silently kissed Chae Beomjoon again. After a light kiss and some pecks on his cheeks, when Haeyoon pulled away, Beomjoon reached out and grabbed his hand.
With his hand fully enveloped by Beomjoon’s, Haeyoon bit his lip before asking:
“Don’t you regret it? You can’t have sex anymore. You can’t masturbate. You can’t even go to the swimming pool. If you do, you’ll have to stuff something in your swimsuit.”
At the mention of stuffing something in, Chae Beomjoon chuckled. His hair, which had fallen over his forehead, was limp. With his pale, bloodless face, he looked more melancholic than usual and even somewhat innocent.
What’s this? It’s irritating. Feeling his heart sink, Seo Haeyoon grabbed his hand tightly.
“You find this funny? Are you really okay? Mister is a eunuch now, you know?”
However, in front of Haeyoon, who was exaggerating the facts, Chae Beomjoon smiled as if such things were trivial sacrifices. Instead, a voice full of satisfaction came from Beomjoon, as if he had gained something even greater.
“Now you’ll be by my side. You’ve accepted me, even though I’m neither 8 years younger nor well-mannered. What’s there to regret? Just giving up that one thing to have you is enough for me…”
“…”
“Now do you believe me? That I truly cherish and like you…”
His gentle fingertips caressed Seo Haeyoon’s calloused palm. With a touch as if soothing a wound, Haeyoon felt something surge from deep within his chest.
At this moment, all his words seemed genuinely affectionate, yet at the same time, he seemed incredibly foolish.
Overwhelmed by mixed emotions, Haeyoon sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair, then turned his gaze to where Chae Beomjoon’s genitals were.
If he’s the type to cheat, he’d do it even without a penis. Even eunuchs committed adultery, didn’t they? So, even if he cut it off, proving his love completely was impossible. Trust was something in the mind, barely influenced by physical objects.
“…I still can’t fully trust you, Mister.”
After mulling over it, Haeyoon spoke, and Chae Beomjoon stiffened. The color slowly drained from his face, turning almost blue as he asked in disbelief:
“What did you say…?”
And before Seo Haeyoon could answer, he continued with a trembling voice:
“A-after making me a eunuch…”
Before he could misunderstand further, Seo Haeyoon reached out. He firmly grasped Beomjoon’s perfectly intact genitals with his five fingers and then let go, making Beomjoon realize it wasn’t phantom pain. With a confused look, he alternated his gaze between his crotch and Seo Haeyoon.
“The surgery…”
“Didn’t happen.”
“Why?”
At Haeyoon’s firm words, Chae Beomjoon bit his lip in shock. His voice was mixed with a sigh, indicating he hadn’t expected such an outcome.
“Did you stop it? After I made such a decision…!”
His question was tinged with disappointment. He looked at Seo Haeyoon with a gloomy, despairing gaze, like someone who had lost everything.
“Then, then, how am I supposed to prove my feelings…?”
His eyes, moist with the threat of tears, turned towards Haeyoon. After waking up, he had seemed full of hope, but now he looked utterly desolate.
Seo Haeyoon stared into those eyes for a while, then sighed briefly and stood up. He bent over to gently kiss Chae Beomjoon’s lips and, as if giving a farewell, stroked his hair while speaking to the man who looked hurt:
“Even so, I can’t date a eunuch. How can we have a relationship without sex?”
“…What do you mean by ‘date’?”
“I lost. Let’s date, then.”
Chae Beomjoon looked dazed, not fully understanding the situation. Seo Haeyoon, confirming it was really time for him to leave, kissed his lips once more.
With his cheeks and hair being stroked by Haeyoon as he kissed him with eyes full of confusion, he then sat up to bid farewell.
“I have to go now. Rest today, and I’ll see you after the performance tomorrow.”
“Haeyoon…”
“See you tomorrow, my love.”
Haeyoon waved his hand and puckered his lips in a light kiss. At the goodbye kiss with a smile in his eyes, Chae Beomjoon froze.
Watching his handsome face turn red, Seo Haeyoon burst into laughter as he left the hospital room. His face was also flushed as he headed towards the parking lot.
🔮🌙
He didn’t know how yesterday passed. Chae Beomjoon dazedly looked down at his wounded genitals and ran his hand through his hair in confusion.
From deciding to become a eunuch after hearing Seo Haeyoon’s words, to spending the night drafting and reviewing the contract, signing it with Seo Haeyoon, and getting anesthetized for genital removal surgery…
Even the series of events after waking up from anesthesia felt unbelievable. Despite his penis being perfectly intact, Seo Haeyoon was treating him like a lover. Was this even allowed?
‘See you tomorrow, my love.’