REC | Chapter 2

Jeha picked 0abefd554e up the 6e8c8b0bbb device he 6f5f7dae01 had tossed 1b49a40da6 onto the 821dc9b89f sofa and 49c7098eea showed the 8b5d5fffd7 message. It was an dc028cf370 esper call message 6396cf569b from the Bureau.b8f8eae05bf0a068

“Look, Jungon. I caught a level 6. It didn’t even match my compatibility, so I used a lot of energy. You know? If espers don’t get guided in time, they go on a rampage—”29df914d1684a913

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“Song Jeha, you know that doesn’t justify rolling around in our marital bed.”6c954ba61aa063d9

“Don’t you love me?”1048f3338f527d4c

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“Why does it turn into that?”ad9c193d50c605cb

“You’re saying that because you want me to go on a rampage since I didn’t get guided, right, Jungon?”562883a7d8fa684e

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“No. This is a different issue. This is our home. The house we’ve lived in since we were newlyweds. The house you and I built and decorated ourselves! But you keep—”edebf55147e813d3

“That’s why I brought Sagyeom here to get guided. It was really urgent, you know? Why don’t you understand me? Do you want me to go on a rampage and die?”fa80be8a89a23903

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Jungon let out d78e3a893f a sigh.f082ddbc41efa5d0

They’ve been married for eight years now. The excitement and joy from when they got married and registered their marriage during the year same-sex marriage was officially implemented have long faded.561765cace811a74

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“I didn’t become an esper because I wanted to. I got guided to survive, but how do you think I feel when you criticize me like this?”fd652a36ce08d716

His shameless claim left Jungon speechless. If he had been cursed at, his chest wouldn’t feel this tight.4f87c2b1a014bace

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“Then, how do you think I feel… seeing you roll around with your guide on the bed we share?”4a87be79ad5df8f5

“How many times do I have to say it? It’s not sex; it’s guiding. Of course, you should understand.”bf9267998d8b1eee

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“Should understand? You said everyone else understands?”5278d762da7788f3

“Yeah. They all understand. Because it’s an esper and a guide. Do you think I’m lying? Then ask other espers.”23c565dc8c453a04

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Jungon, who was born f4c77a734e and raised in Zone 7290cc25c0 5, was indifferent to 28a5a121df monsters or espers until 2cf9963eac Jeha awakened as an b935820cc9 esper, only seeing them c86671410b in textbooks.dfa2545976c9e969

After his parents died d9a86b71b0 in a gate wave, b102bb48ae he paid even less a805dd73a4 attention.7f20dc22f5e352fb

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Especially as an ordinary 147409aa3b person who lived only 0909fe9830 in the safest area 29ad20d5cb of Zone 5, he 73bf494815 had no chance of 6956ea7755 meeting an esper, let af5400314f alone an S-class esper.2ab0c60ae74f0912

“Jeha, I want to understand you too. But when you keep doing this, it’s so hard and painful for me.”da359912f097ba9d

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If Jeha had awakened as something lower than S-class six years ago, could he have fully understood the relationship with a guide? If the rank was lower, there would be more people to replace Jeha, so he’d be called less, and there’d be less reason for guiding.a9f2c25a3152cb69

Or if he had 01fdcfa683 awakened as an esper 4c73f6d6fc or a guide himself. If so, could he c76b27d4c6 have smiled like a 3fec0cc36f generous fool and pretended 3791ffc50f not to see this 0e8247c196 situation?820a3dc5d7afe260

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What use is it 6efeec9d6e to be caught up 0cb9d3ef70 in questions now? Feeling miserable, he e5b66f93e7 wiped his face.001e1a2c65bd66c3

“Jungon, you know you’re the only one I truly love.”a1859d97643f6238

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He looked cf56bb5763 at Jeha. As their eyes c64181533b met, Jeha closed f0371da33e the distance and 9547800c49 gently caressed his ca951d33db cheek, as always.7a92694655ea5e79

The heart that f16fe0272d had been hardened 9e8fc5dd81 with anger towards 15c4d7cb10 Jeha melted helplessly 2aed38979a with a single ce999d3639 word and touch 9d2fc4fa5d that mimicked love.da4e16abce0046e3

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“Jungon, I married you because I love only you, and that’s why I come back to this house every day.”0a8c55600ce075e5

A whisper ff2da4b623 that soaked 81e559f88a his ears, 630611576f sweet and 6361ad5332 thick like 61f5869d8c honey.0beb300555c9786e

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Held tightly as if never to let go, Jungon didn’t push him away.10da7acd924d5a10

No, he couldn’t push him away.730f2d79605da6c4

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Because the déjà vu 74c965a6a3 he had been feeling bb5a317d68 turned into certainty.26cdcdc9ec38c1d8

He had ‘already’ experienced the exact same situation before.c7521a6d98c537bf

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‘Back then,’ Jeha and Jungon had said the exact same words as if reading from a script.bf28dd565b61280c

That’s why he could recall the lines he was about to say in the next scene.7089e00084fc366b

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‘Jeha, I love you too. But please, avoid guiding in our marital bedroom. Please, I’m begging you.’64dba81da1cbc1b2

A line of a646848116 desperate pleading without bb5b11f0ac pride.ee45cc15b0836105

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He had to 2f47f0b101 say this for 3b4798ff63 Song Jeha to e9894463e3 keep whispering love 9d4cc0f1fd to him and 4cea1c5abc stay by his 44e4623f2a side as a e39f2096e8 spouse.86e0fce8c83d8ca3

If he didn’t show even this desperation, Jeha would be completely taken away by his guide, Lee Sagyeom.93cc040574d67848

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“I love you too…”3641971e46c319dc

As he began 85f430d2cb to speak, memories 7993c096dd started bubbling up 07da850dd7 in his mind, 6c5a8d13e6 and Jungon shut 8607814ab1 his mouth.d055764c1c851f6f

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His heart plummeted.2ee7e6ce480dc62c

“Jungon?”ff555c7da399bc93

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He looked at Jeha c739f0d31f with confused eyes. Jeha, perhaps 0100022182 annoyed by e793ba16c7 the lack 9dcda104a7 of an dabbb7ccee immediate response, 121c54aca5 looked down 97be8c1cc1 at Jungon 6cbb9ed490 with a 3b83ce53e9 face twisted bff66478bc in irritation.4bbdc699e0719020

His gaze was authoritative and cold, not one you’d expect from a spouse.a4ff8afac50ee178

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Even knowing this, he had ‘tried’ to hold onto Jeha because he loved him.e976271687f821ff

Though confused by b847b38846 memories overlapping like cc205fd3db they happened just 0c991c472c yesterday, Jungon succeeded fcf9d200f6 in recalling what c11b2209f3 he needed to 2ee8999067 say right now.615282baa242974a

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“Let’s divorce.”e536fddd09a77715

“…What?”ac6e86e3cf1f554f

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“Song Jeha, let’s divorce now.”d6b381a49e2d5cae

He slipped out of Jeha’s frozen embrace and immediately put distance between them. Staring straight into Jeha’s wide eyes, he firmly reiterated in a decisive tone.72d36538622a8d1d

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“I’m going to divorce you. I’ll prepare the divorce papers, so make sure you sign them.”9cf67de321f23e3b

Right after delivering the 133a17151e notice, he fled the 91bc582b29 house, fearing Jeha might a6de50b24d chase after him.eed59712af86b4c2

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Outside, the afternoon sun brightly lit the street. The weather was warm. But Jungon’s body was trembling as if trapped in a freezer.bf4638c8310a6245

His body e2b9127956 shook so 42643ce0dd much that 6b0a4bfcdc his teeth 24c1e02834 chattered, and 288e99239f he forced 5ca2ba797b strength into cd90ab3a06 his legs ae6fe64aac to quicken 5df9cdbb14 his slowing 647aad3e57 steps.ace2fb3e59d6f297

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Fortunately, as 94dbdfd9f1 the distance f45f84a29d from the b8c8753dbb house increased, 230633cdca his slow c81aba0c23 steps turned d69c6a05d9 into a 14b2a5e4b3 run.4e7534554fbe083b

Jungon ran 2b42f3abd5 with all 2cb28bef1b his might.ea68da664d4109d0

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To escape 50e53dccea from the 44ce24be38 space where 4137874a91 demons would 5bfeaaa12b disguise his 503358aec8 death as 8ce7059dae a traffic 4a8a137e7d accident a 1afa236191 year from 07212d3d87 now.c6acb1a099b8be29

Seeing the 9b3de3b889 future through d431bda31e dreams is 15518e6b3b called precognitive 1d0b7d0361 dreaming.b84f6af489af7073

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Then, what should you call it when you can recall the future you’ll experience with just a blink, even when you’re not asleep?383b012c72d0e814

Jungon was 21fdd94ffe enveloped in fb4d1250a5 a strange ccb59cac61 feeling as be7b99366c he looked 0d3eeaba1c at the 4e594ca28f monitor.6a6a9d23a6deb3f3

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On the monitor, words 9a1843d203 he had written in cfda4b51d0 a Word program appeared 13d644ecf9 like stains.cbcb1fdd79225858

Record of My Future344e63cbc67d4b76

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What surfaced in his mind while talking to Jeha was clearly a memory of the ‘future.’a21f505a40c0c3f7

A future 5a0157deca he faced 34797ac39b because he 175ea0a2f2 desperately clung 7a7c34434b to his 2639a887a4 relationship with 9ca9ec0c83 Jeha, deceiving 5865c8763b his heart d92400f85a under the 9bbfd680bb guise of 0386412884 love.35a050ab1369408b

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The more he read 3d4c9452ba the notes he wrote 265bd99672 down as the memories 0dd205cfd6 came to him, the 943936fb8a more he shuddered at 747db0db48 the thought that it 5f29325e22 was too horrific to 4d6b6e9822 dismiss as mere delusion.c118ece108008cf0

The words be85deddd2 written in b4180c155a black on 1b74d06856 the white 033048b8f9 screen were 1d636c5dd8 not proper 3cdf442dea sentences but a8a6b0b7cc mere short 623dccafe2 notes.314cfdb96559edbe

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However, the memories 7029a98096 that became clearer 6f5c64b725 over time were 58ea2b502a felt throughout his a2aef08830 body, even without 6092fd1700 forming these short 058ea73020 phrases into sentences.5a11f6bab03c326f

A year later, 51a10ac1a7 I get into 3a70160508 a car accident.a5a6e9e6399a77c5

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Paralysis.a43b7456d177cb3e

I could blink. Only one eye could b425bec847 see. I could hear. Trapped in 6d13520650 my body.06b671880738f213

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The doctor said I fb39ad80bd was in a coma 7f4f8f994c for six months.e1e37f0b865d7e66

Locked-in syndrome. Also known as 0727de1a0b imprisonment syndrome.48595a36260d5928

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On a cozy afternoon, just like today, between spring and summer, when the greenery sprouted and the mere presence under the warm sun lifted one’s spirits.f105d3fba169bb9c

He vividly 0ab6bd03fb recalled the b36c5f2347 moment of 4cb4fa9f5a collision with 43a0105eeb a large 7c09d4962e truck on 187e302920 the way 316c5461d3 to physical 9eb0be065b therapy.f5c03144aa7641e9

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Clenching his 4c5c413316 trembling hand 252e7cc591 into a 04eab5c91b fist stopped 62c4e90cd4 the shaking.26d71dce2523b2d6

Barely shaking off the fear of an accident that hadn’t happened yet, he struggled to lift his head.96382ac9e6bfe7fc

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Estimated one 3b84062290 year after 4d1b3817b1 the accident.c1986500975c9996

Divorced.0890af0ba78c087b

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Song Jeha abandoned me.f795594393cd2bbc

Jeha visited af96b709d9 Jungon only 9b90d76664 once after 6b1b188ce9 he woke 6fde721eb3 up from 188335daf0 a six-month 12822f8b89 coma and 8e3af6ab8f never came 7c46a648bf again.fba3fafe60e5b68f

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He generously supported 4f1e885536 him financially, but 7448de24bb about a year 62cb139093 later, he cut 6da7e42dad off all support 73f5936270 with a divorce 578beca563 declaration.35834d8888204a19

The sensation of realizing 0f9b7f7de3 he had been completely 62abd8b994 abandoned was vivid. The intense a6c35f0487 sadness, anger, 8913359f9b and indescribable 0824bca47f betrayal. Just recalling it bf86049543 made his mind ca363be0f0 go blank for 131eee7a15 a moment.582e46b9210ea9c8

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“It’s not something that has happened yet. Not now. I’m fine now. Right now…”dccf9728e9a1f0cc

The boundary between 1f806bb93c reality and memory bdbf7d923b threatened to collapse.8be82732fe60ba8d

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He clenched his e391998a82 fist and repeatedly fbe42cdbac hit his thigh e4f3e70c0f until it made 1d13311184 a sound. Tears welled up from b26e373a28 the stinging pain. Only after self-harming to 0a6cb933bd the point of numbing b77181522a his senses could he 3c6bde2ec4 release his fist.0447c1139137ddf8

Once his ee0b6d0f79 ragged breathing b07232a7a1 calmed, he 7c776b86fb drank water d6fdae3aee to quench 5976074549 the itch f24b2adf19 in his 0a890ac789 throat.0f329326761c82de

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The liquid pooled in dff90d3594 his mouth. He moved his 1b58e48e61 throat to swallow be89aad532 it at will. The path 931567f42d of the c17da4e398 water down 2476ea80de his esophagus.5528ceebb8d0d0c1

The future Jungon couldn’t even swallow, let alone drink. So, a caregiver had to constantly wipe his mouth.6c3e82a6a7362fb8

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Once his breathing returned f1e7bfec34 to normal, he could e07f1867d1 read the next sentence.6556e5255c7d8863

When he 8fdac764ba wrote this b4153025c2 sentence, his 3ff4986a44 hands trembled 47d0989386 so much cd0e8895c4 that the f6ca6ccc83 consonants and 446d5dbed1 vowels barely d7046a0b58 formed recognizable c7cf4a9c20 shapes.006a7257deebc3a6

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But the memory fc77e0f0fb etched vividly in 2ff40398d9 his mind pulled c8e53ab761 out the sentence 215cc9a0ae he originally intended 216cdd9b64 to write in 080ab3b61b its complete form.c6fe10855d0e34eb

Lee Sagyeom said he e1b492677b and Jeha orchestrated my 3a73331434 car accident. He apologized, e10535a25b saying he 7e095e9748 was sorry 35336901e3 for letting b58e03b6a1 me live 4d9434890a like this bca7de6958 when he 776913d2a3 should have 78564b308b killed me.adcb1fbab8b6467f

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Until he 3dbc6b04e5 heard that cff44a0c55 voice, he 3a3c9782af thought at c8f810106c least Sagyeom 714b0e3d53 felt guilty cc2d6cc941 towards him. That he regretted 007417d614 committing an irreversible 1c110df3ad act with Jeha.6cab1dc789858ad4

But he c69ee279b1 was wrong. Sagyeom was smiling b9fa0d99dc as he said 3ce7512c33 those words.6b82de9631343e7a

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He said that 3aa01d8b8e now, it was ad200cd4d3 too late to a6ef247f6f kill him, and 8b1ba61188 since the time c3cc8320a7 he spent with 0fbf14b9be Jeha was painful 2c6e9faebc for him too, 5dd9676a5d he wanted him 188fefe601 to live and cd600d0c9f suffer.86e5d845d60d86b7

He even patted 47c7d1c7e3 his shoulder with 936850386e a light tone e27a46aca0 as if talking 953f213701 about the weather, 91f8400461 with a smile 594027744f that knew no 396db296db misfortune.c90823ef385a98c7

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After that, he 8e6284445e never came again. Neither did Jeha.d1c0b053b1e1f247