PT | Chapter 7.1

It was when Aubrey was about five years old that he came to live at the marquis’ estate. Before that, Aubrey had lived in a small village situated on a hill in the mountains. If you were to imagine a small village in a remote area, you’d probably picture neighbors helping each other, living a self-sufficient life. But that wasn’t the case there.

The few people living in the few buildings knew each other well, but that place wasn’t really their home. They were the ones tasked with watching over a young woman and a child who lived in a rather neat and well-kept house in the middle of the village. The child was Aubrey, and the young woman was his mother.

Aubrey had not been born as part of a plan by the marquis. When Aubrey was about to be born, the marquis’ position was weak. He had a business he was focusing on at the time, so the sudden appearance of proof of his indiscretions must have been a heavy burden. To deal with this, he had people send the woman who was pregnant with his child to a remote mountain village far from Toroso.

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It was under the pretense of protection and prenatal care, but in reality, it was just a way of getting rid of her and hiding her away. The woman, who had deep faith and affection for the marquis, believed that everything was for their good until the child was born. However, as she waited for the marquis to visit, and he did not come until the child turned one, her feelings began to sour. Her health deteriorated rapidly from the emotional strain, and the child was raised by the ones keeping an eye on them.

These watchers were changed once every season, and each time, Aubrey met new people and learned various things from them. Perhaps, for the child, that was a fortunate thing.

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Aubrey was quick to learn even at a young age and spoke well, earning the affection of those around him.

While the woman’s condition worsened, Aubrey, being the marquis’ bloodline, was of extraordinary lineage, and so word eventually reached the marquis. At the age of three, he finally came to the village for the first time.

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The woman, who had not seen the marquis for almost three years since giving birth, was very excited from early morning. She, who had always either laid in bed or sat by the window, spent the morning changing into several dresses, focusing on adorning herself.

While everyone else hurried to prepare for the arrival of the marquis, the woman was busy making herself as beautiful as possible. Her cheeks were flushed, and she looked more vibrant than ever. Seeing her so happy made Aubrey feel good too.

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So, Aubrey carefully approached his mother and touched the hem of her long dress. Then, the smile that had been blooming on her face stiffened, and she swung her hand forcefully.

Perhaps at that moment, her mind was completely filled with the marquis, whom she was about to meet after so many years. She must have been startled by the sudden touch and swung her hand reflexively. The unfortunate result was that young Aubrey was slapped and fell to the ground.

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But just then, the marquis appeared, and the first thing he saw was the fallen young Aubrey.

“Oh my, what on earth is going on here!”

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Rushing over, it was the one who had taken the best care of Aubrey who immediately scooped him up.

The person who had raised Aubrey as if he were her own grandchild was now holding him in her arms and standing behind the marquis, furiously ranting.

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“I’ve let many things slide in the past, but this is absolutely unacceptable. What part of this small child could she possibly have touched? He’s still so young, what if he had injured his head?!”

The place, usually so quiet, quickly became chaotic. Among the gathered people, the word spread that “That woman hit Aubrey.”

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Raising a child in a small village where there was nothing to do had become a small pleasure for the people. Rather than seeing the woman sitting with a gloomy face all day, they often saw the child running around. Those who had seen him often quickly hardened their expressions. Then, without anyone needing to say anything, they threw accusing glares at the woman.

As mentioned before, it was simply the woman’s bad luck that day.

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Even though she had never raised her hand against Aubrey before, the shock and panic she felt might have been greater than anyone could imagine. When everyone looked at her with harsh eyes, she quickly shook her head in panic.

“No, no! This is all a misunderstanding… I mean…”

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She was so flustered that she couldn’t even find the words to explain. The marquis, uninterested in her excuses, merely glanced at Aubrey’s appearance. Seeing the delicate auburn hair and eyes of the young boy, Johan’s one eye narrowed.

Not even bothering with the woman’s explanations, he just confirmed Aubrey’s features before turning away.

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“Wait, please…!”

It had been over three years, and now, finally, she had met the marquis. If he left now, who knew when she would see him again? Tired of the mountain life with nothing else, the woman desperately chased after the marquis, but the villagers blocked her way.

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“Marquis! You said you’d take me with you if I had a healthy child! You promised you’d care for me more than the lady at the marquis’ estate, that you loved me more…!”

With only that belief holding her together, she had endured all this time, but the man she had seen only briefly now turned his back and left. She crumbled, unable to even get him to look at her one last time, to hear if she was doing well.

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Her sadness was overwhelming, and after that day, she was ill for a very long time. She lay in bed for almost half a year, unable to rise. It was during this time, on the way to the marquis’ estate, that Aubrey realized what had happened.

***

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Everyone has their own life, but hers seemed so sad. Why did she have to live like that? Even though it had happened quite a long time ago, when she thought back to it now, she was a truly beautiful woman. Because of that, Aubrey never heard anyone say that he was lacking in appearance. Furthermore, since he resembled her more than his father, every time he looked in the mirror, there was a slight discomfort. His hair and eyes were something he couldn’t change, no matter how much he wanted to.

People often said that Aubrey was favored by the marquis because of this, and that made him dislike it.

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Because of this, some people had mocked him as a crow when he was younger, and even now, some still did.

Plop.

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Aubrey shifted his gaze to the water droplet that had gathered on his chin and fallen.

At that moment, he was sitting in a bathtub filled with warm water. He had received a command from his father to “repair his relationship with Madeleine,” and tonight was the decisive night. The secret social gathering hosted by Count Munhen, who was said to be the most powerful socialite in Toroso, was tonight, and he had been invited.

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As it was an important occasion, he had to prepare early, so he had started his bath in the morning.

“…This is so frustrating.”

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The thought of attending this unwanted gathering, and thinking about what he should say when he found Madeleine there, was stressing him out. Did he really have to repair their relationship? It seemed like her heart had already moved on to someone else.

Thinking of Lennock, Aubrey scrunched his face and tilted his head back.

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“…”

He stared blankly at the ceiling and muttered.

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“What am I even doing here…”

After going through several regressions, he still couldn’t understand why he was forced to do something he didn’t want to do.

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Once again, it wasn’t like he immediately committed suicide when he regressed. There was some sense of guilt about the version of himself who had died the moment he opened his eyes, and he couldn’t just ignore that, so something was forcing him to hold back a little. Maybe it was that small hope of trying to live a little better than before.

“Even then, nothing will change.”

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Knock knock.

While muttering to himself, Aubrey tilted his head back even more at the cheerful knock.

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Leaning his neck against the edge of the tub, Aubrey lazily asked, “What is it?”

Knock knock.

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Whoever it was must have known he was in the bath, so he wondered why they were still knocking. Aubrey didn’t want to react or even respond, but the fact that someone was standing outside the door made him uneasy.

“If you have something to leave, just come in.”

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It was probably just some bath supplies that needed to be added. Maybe they were still trying to get him to take the rose water, even though he had already rejected it. The secret gathering of Toroso’s noble children was rare, but that didn’t mean he had to smell like roses for it. The point was to meet Madeleine, after all.

Just as he thought that, the sound of the door opening reached him. Aubrey quickly grabbed the towel hanging on the side of the tub and threw it over his lap. He didn’t think it was necessary to cover himself since it was probably just a servant, but it was more of a matter of personal discomfort.

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With his eyes closed, Aubrey continued to think.